I’m more of a don’t date a guy who doesn’t have healthy boundaries with the ex wife. Don’t need or want it. Amicable is one thing. Toxic crap where they talk about our personal problems to be is a betrayal.
Iv found the beat thing is to stay out of the drama and not be involved with family meeting and such. I’m a point of contention for just existing. The issues are nothing to do with me so I’m just nice to the kids, I don’t expect anything of them. Their dad is the parent and it’s up to him to keep them on track. Best advise you have is don’t take it personally, have an escape and let the parents parent. ❤
I second almost all of this Nyssa! Hindsight is 20/20…I just had no idea what I was getting into - didn’t know the first thing about blended families and step parenting! Thank you so much for watching & I hope you come back. ❤
I love this! I can tell you are a pragmatic person and confident in your own skin and where your place is or belong to. I wish more people kept it as simple as one can. However, the video talks more about a nasty ex wife who harass, bad-mouths, tries to ruin your business' reputation that you worked so hard on... and so on. Just nasty immature people! Your comment seems more like you've had it way easier than that which is great!! I hope that's the case.
I just don't talk to her. My bf has set boundaries that she tries to step over , but I think it's up to the bf/ husband to deal with her. She's a habitual line stepper and got close to losing her teeth with me, so for my sanity and her face I won't interact with her period
I realise when his ex is talking about me… it is Not about me … it is about their relationship and her insecurities. She reflects on me … why I am making him happy and not her … I feel empathy for her.
I love this Video, you really helped me understand my role in this relationship, not take things personally, put myself in her shoes and forgive quickly! Thanks a lot.. I’ve been searching for a video like this..
I am SO glad to hear that this helped you!! It’s a process & a journey, that’s for sure. Placing yourself in her shoes does help sometimes, but not always - and that’s okay. Forgiveness is something we all have to work on every day, including forgiving ourselves. Thank you for your sweet comment ❤️
My husband hired an attorney in 2020 to respond to child support modification order. His ex hasn’t let him see his kids since 2018. Now in 2023 he still hasn’t seen his kids after the thousands of dollars he’s spent on his attorney. Ex wife was ordered to take their children to visitation site but she didn’t show up. Now I’m angry because he’s spending money on an attorney and getting no results. This leads me to believe he still loves his ex wife. He takes no action against her. WTF
Man, that is hard…I got frustrated just reading it! Until I saw the last part about him not taking action against her, I was going to ask if he had considered taking it further than his lawyer since that is not going anywhere? ❤
What if the children are just now adults? A 16 and a 20 year old? Are they still number one? I never want to deal with someone else’s kids. I’m not sure our love is going to make it.
This is a heavy question. Very hard to answer. Ultimately, I think this is something you have to decide on your own. I am just now getting to a place where my “putting them first” has paid dividends on their lives and mine & I am SO glad I decided to do this years ago. It has really, really paid off for my heart & soul and for theirs. We are very close now and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I will be thinking of you. This isn’t easy & sometimes there are no true “answers” and definitely not a lot of black and white. ❤️Please feel free to head to my Instagram @lesliew1923 if you ever want to talk on a more personal level - always open to messaging.
I understand disengaging however, if everyone just ignores bad behavior, aren’t we fostering and allowing more of it what about accountability while it’s not the stepmom‘s place to bring up to the bio mom that she should be accountable? Maybe the other parent should or the courts or somebody I mean we can ignore bad behavior, but sometimes ignoring, it just shows children that it’s allowable, and they just emulate what they see
I'm going through this now. His ex wife is so hateful. To me and I've never done anything to hurt . he has older children. It's so stressful she's very deuflt. I don't know what to do .
This video has been my life through and through! It hit somewhere deep in my heart. Everything you went through is what I am currently going through. It’s so tough, but my fiancé and I keep telling ourselves that we will make it through because we love eachother.
I am so glad this video met you when you needed it most. Come back to it when you need inspiration to keep pushing through. It isn’t easy but it is totally worth it. Sending love your way!
It takes A LOT of time for both the ex and the new partner, I have been in both spots and I can gladly say I have a good friendship with his ex-wife now that I’m the ex, but with the new girlfriend it’s very complicated at the moment because it’s very fresh. I have bpd and it’s incredibly difficult to get through this but I am glad that his ex wife is supporting. He is a good dad but he’s a bad husband, I just hope the new girlfriend doesn’t find out that side of him, and that he treats her right.
Wow. That is a lot, Flower! I am so appreciative of your strength and courage to talk about this and your bpd. I feel like I could make a whole series of videos about stepmom/blended family + mental health issues. My heart goes out to you! ❤
Still the girlfriend and going through it, her 4 year old daughter loves me to bits and usually says I don't like my mom, which I've chosen to ignore, I just focus on my relationship with her and her dad... The ex wife is doing everything in her power to separate me from her child but it no use cause ill marry her ex husband anyway
Leslie, thanks so much for this very helpful video. It was almost like you made it just for me. I will definitely take all your ten tips and apply them with the situation Im going through right now. You’re awesome! :)
Itzy thank you! I just now saw your comment 😬 I am so glad you found this video helpful. I haven’t posted a video in years but based on the response to this one, I may be posting more stepmom related videos soon! ❤
Thank you so much for making this video. It helped me so much. I am marrying this amazing man and his amazing son is so precious. I just want to be the best version of myself I can be for them. The ex is not fun to deal with and I had no idea how to do it. Your video gave me a guid to follow. Thank you again for making this. I’m sure it will help me out a lot. ☺️👍🏻
You are so welcome. Congrats too! Stay true to yourself first and foremost, and to your morals & values. The rest will fall into place. If you have faith in a higher power, keep that and practice it regularly - it helps tremendously!! ❤️
I am enjoying these steps. I let the ex wife in too far. I just heard you in disengage which I finally did in Dec/Jan. 2020/21 and I am so glad I did. I had been the mediator for a long time between the two of them. They Lives 600 miles away she has custody with dad having summer and Christmas visitation. I let her get too close. I tried to see the good in her and we were great for at least 10 years but then it turned. She got sour and ugly towards my husband and me. She went too far and I let go. My husband only talks to her via text or email for documentation purposes. And at some point, can you discuss parent alienation. This is what we are battling now. One kid is 19 so it feels to late. But he has always been close to his dad. The other is a working process to undo the brainwashing. She is 17.
I am so sorry to hear all of this. This is all so, SO hard. Unbelievably hard. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’m glad you found the video and hope you and your family can get the peace you deserve. ❤️
Thank you so much. I am so glad it helped you. Situations like this are SO tough. We’re still going through it. But I am happy to hear these tips helped you. Take care & good luck with whatever you’re going through. ❤️
Can we talk about the toxic high conflict girl friend that is jealous of the ex’s respect and positive co parenting AND the kids? Like .. lady .. get Some confidence, or move on .., Insecurity is 😩
