I hear that. Honestly as a person of colour I'm getting fed up of all this "black & white" , colour nonsense. Not everything is racist. Kmt 🙄. Respect Bjorn👊🏾
Growing up here in the US in the 70’s and early 80’s it was the same here. I would hang out with my best friend or other friends everyday and never stayed or was invited to stay for dinner. It was understood whenever dinner time came, everybody went back home until dinner time was over. I don’t understand the issue, perhaps it’s because of my age and the era I grew up in. Now I was never asked to stay there in another room while they ate-that would be quite awkward.
I am Swedish and this is my experience from Swedish middle class Gothenburg in the 60’s and 70’s. I believe the kids who stayed and waited overstayed their welcome. ”Wait here while I eat” is an indirect way of saying it’s time to leave. I would say staying under such circumstances is impolited. Parents should teach their kids to leave when a friend’s family is having dinner. It’s their family quality time.
@RomVlad Exactly same experience growing up in US … As well, occurs in every country I’ve had pleasure of visiting… this is such nonsense, it’s difficult to wrap my head around it … I guess it all started with some screen grab posted on Reddit, others saw it & became irrationally outraged - Although, if I’m honest with myself, it’s expected in our current WorldWide “feelings rule over facts” society 🙃🤡
@@PixelBoar Awesome, I do agree that most people are like what we are. It's just that just because someone experienced a different treatment doesn't mean that it applies to all.
I live in Sweden, I’ve not heard about this silliness. It’s the same in Ireland where I grew up. I almost always went home for my dinner - and never expected to be fed at a friends house. To have expected that would have been rude. Some people just have too much time on their hands - get a life!
Not eating with your visitors is really weird. Eating toghether is a way for humans to Bond because since the dawn of time it has been an importent gesture of friendship. Like i dont really give a shit about what swedes do its their culture and land it doesnt affect me, but i would never eat while having a guest over and not offering any food.
@@giovanni4470 I see what you are saying, it's just some households don't have enough for an extra plate, especially at last minute. It's not personal, just fact of life for some. Especially, if u grew up in the 70's...
it does seem odd, normally one would assume that you would either send the kid home or feed them. such a bizarre compromise to allow the kid to stay. bizarre yet very Scandinavian. everywhere else you just boot the neighbor kid!
@@giovanni4470 yes, but the main difference is you would have kicked the kid out. the difference is really just that swedes are not confrontational enough to tell a child to go home.
All of these things you say are very normal to me also, I am born into in 🇨🇦 However my father is born in 🇳🇴 so perhaps my opinion in skewed. So nice to hear 🇳🇴 saying kind things about 🇸🇪. All that my father ever has to say about 🇸🇪is bad jokes😆
I love Italian food and would love to share a meal with you but there would be no leftovers if me and my husband were eating at your house! Of course, being Brits, we would bring the customary bottles of wine with us, Italian wine of course. We love Italian and Sicilian wines in particular.
I have spent my entire life in America... Being ask by a friend's parents to go home at dinner time, or wait in another room while they ate, was very common in my life. I was never offended by this nor was anyone I knew... Sometimes it was as simple as how much food had been prepared for dinner...Especially, if the parents did not know the guest child was going to be there at dinner time. Often, I was asked to join them at the table, but was never offended if I was not. My mother would often ask my friends if they would like to have dinner with us, but sometimes would have to say, "I didn't prepare enough for everyone.... People who are complaining about this practice have too much time on their hands and need to get a life!!!
Wow. I'm American and never heard of that. It seems like if you have a child over and you know they're going to be there at dinner time that you'd fix enough for everyone. If you don't have enough, then the "playdate" should end before dinner even gets prepared. I can't imagine inviting someone over, knowing they'll probably be there at dinnertime, and intentionally not preparing enough food for that person. I don't even eat food now, like a snack, in front of others without offering food to the others, or at least say something like, "there's more in the kitchen if you'd like some."
If my kid’s friend parent ask my son to go home at dinner time, I would be very upset and tell my kid do not hang out with cheapskate. It is unthinkable to happen in the US and it is nothing to do with richness. In my opinion, Scandinavians and northern europeans are much more individualized than others and it appeared as selfish as hell….
American here, I’ve never experienced it in my life. They always ask me or more often ask my parents with a phone call or during drop off if I can do dinner with them. US is a big country with lot of culture co-existing so I’m sure some may have grown up Swedish style, but I don’t think it’s common for kids not be fed at friends house.
Total bullshit. I live in Sweden and moved from thé Netherlands. Best choice ever, plus Swedes are thé kindest people Ive met. They always help me, share like me, get rounds of beers and invites to homes with loads of food. I wonder who makes these things up.
@@davideldred.campingwilder6481 Fun fact. I'm not white 😅 Don't come with that bullshit. I know many blacks here that have no problems. It all depends on your attitude, and expectations.
It's people looking for attention and make shit up to get people mad or talking.... aka a troll we deal with them a lot in the US don't pay any attention to them.. just pathetic versions of a human being that speak about shit they know nothing about.. 😒
@@C.A.P.9 glad to hear you vet treated with respect atleast in the US there are far more white people standing up for blacks now a days then there was.. but that's also why you seeing people trying to change that back... we won't let it happen enough is enough we are all human treat people accordingly not because of color or beliefs
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you very, very much for defending us Swedes. So sweet of you. Love from Lena in Fredrikstad, a Swede living in Norway for 40 years
In my culture too. We would include the friend/guest. The friend/guest would also know when to leave. However, as per Sweden, I find nothing wrong with it, as it's just the culture over there.😊
I hadn't heard about "Swedengate" before this video, but I grew up in the 70's too (in Norway)...and you are absolutely correct. And Swedes are fabulous people!! :)
That's because it's not a big thing and people like our host, just rely on exaggerating this. I mean, there are HARDLY any foreigners living in Scandanavia because it's all too expensive, this drives out only rich people to move there...
Never heard of swedengate, but I grew up in southern Norway, and when my friend were called for dinner, I'd stay in my friend's room while they went to eat dinner or I'd go home. Nothing unusual about that.
Anyone who disagrees with them is called a racist. The word has become meaningless through overuse. It's like the russians saying that anyone who stands up to their invasion is a "not-see."
I always just say “can you explain to me what you mean by racist, I want to understand exactly what it is you’re charging me with?” They’ll either back off or they’ll expand the definition of racism to include completely Benign and ordinary behaviour therefore defusing their accusation.
Chiming in from the Midwest, USA; growing up, it was actually strange to either eat dinner at a friend's house or have them eat at yours. Dinnertime was a commonly accepted cue that it was time to go home, and as far as I know, this was pretty much the norm for my time and area. My wife is Asian, and when she grew up, still today actually, it is kind of the opposite where guests are offered food or something to eat/drink from the time they step in the door until they leave. I think something you said about being too lazy to understand other cultures is definitely applicable here.
Exactly having the respect for different families. In Hawaii before my friends were allowed to have dinner they were asked to call their parents and ask if it was ok for them to stay for dinner. People will find anything to blow out of proportion. Especially if it conforms to their agenda.
I lived in Hawaii in 1987. Invited to some great cross cultural dinners. I was known as the Blue Eyed Howlee boy. Such a great experience. Wow, has Oahu changed since then. Cane/pineapple fields gone, development rampant. Looks like a different place.
@@frenchfryfarmer436your so right. Since the 80’s Hawaii has become like a concrete jungle on the island of Oahu (Honolulu). Losing its tropical 🌴 flair. I’m lucky because I live in the Big Island of Hawaii. The city I live in is Hilo. My grandfather worked in the sugar plantation and my Aunty worked at the Dole Pineapple Factory. There is a Dole Factory on the island of Oahu but more of a tourist shopping destination. My hometown is very slow paced. But not a huge tourist destination unless the volcano is extremely active. The vog is much better since the last huge eruption back in 2018. You don’t smell the sulfur in the air at all unless your driving toward the Hawaii Volcano National Park.
I'm British, and this was true when I was a child. Meals in the afternoon/evening were with the family, and friends either had to go home or play in the backyard or out in the front garden.
It was the same here in the USA. We were told to go home for supper because your mom's had prepared supper. Well today everyone is looking for an excuse to be a victim. The bigger problem is the fact that most households don't have mother and fathers.. the breakdown of the family has led to most of our problems with young people.
I'm a millennial who grew up in the States and that happened to me many times when I was a kid; hanging out at a friends house around dinner time and being asked to either go home, play outside and wait for friend to finish having dinner, or play in friends room and wait for him to finish dinner. It wasn't ever a big deal or weird. Planning dinner is a lot of work and you don't always have the ability to bring another person to the table on any given night. It's also an important time for families to connect and having a person outside of the family at dinner draws attention away from that close family intimacy time. As a kid my friends and I played together almost every day ALL DAY. It wasn't a big deal if families wanted to have some time together alone.
Not sure where you grew up, but that's a crap reason to ask a kid to leave your home. PERHAPS it was more because the parents of the visiting kid was expecting them home for dinner and already had it cooking. For me, my mother would have gone ballistic if I didn't come home for dinner after she cooked it for me or if I didn't call ahead of time and ask her if I could eat there instead of coming home.
As another Norwegian I can confirm, 25 now and when I was a kid and had friends over, they always stayed in my room while we ate. Inviting friends to come eat with us was only reserved for the best of friends. It happens, most kids will not be invited. So it still happens.
I'm gonna have to culturally appropriate the way you say steeyoopid. Sounds so much better than the English version. People aren't stupid, people are steeyoopid (joking obviously, just teasing your accent.) I am American, when I grew up and was playing with a friend, their parents would normally ask me if I wanted to stay for dinner. If I said no I'd wait in my friends room while he ate. If I said yes, they would cook extra for me, it was different if I was staying there for a day or two, but if I was just hanging out they would just ask me "do you want to eat here or are you gonna eat at home?" Sometimes, if they were mad, they would ask me "am I feeding you or are you going home?" I never took it as an insult, it was just a "food is not free, I'm not a bum perspective." When my friends mom got pissed at her husband or her son, I knew it was time to leave. Jeez, I had a lot of typos there. That's what I get for typing on a phone. You should do a video on the gallop poles, (is that what they're called?) I know it's different than what you usually do, but I don't know a lot about my ancestors that founded Dublin. It would be cool to hear a Norwegian perspective (although my DNA test said I was Finnish and swedish)
I cant imagine not letting one of my kids friends stay for dinner. Or make them go to another room. I dated a Swedish woman for years when i was young. She was amazing and so was her family.
It's ridiculous. Surely everyone has experienced this as a kid, no matter which country we live. It happened to me as well, depending on the friend, either offered to join or asked to leave at dinner time. This Reddit post has been blown out of all proportion. We should laugh at the absurdity.
@@musti12312 but the original Reddit was asking if people had experienced cultural differences. Clearly there can be different etiquette from one family to another. Depending on a lot of things but I definitely don't think it's a race thing. It may have more to do with poverty. I recall the friends whose homes I wasn't fed were families struggling to feed themselves. And no child or teen wants to be a burden on their pals' parents.
The post says you stay in the other room to avoid disturbing their dinner. That's the part that is freaking out everyone. Johnny it's time for you to go home, it is getting late. Is completely understandable and expected.
Invited to dinner or asked to leave(though the latter was uncommon), sure, but NEVER to wait until dinner finishes😂 That was a big factor in why people were shocked. Especially as an East Asian, I cannot possibly imagine asking a child to wait while we finish dinner. As a child, if I ever went to other homes, I would get offered snacks, meals, and then some more snacks. I get it's cultural difference, but I still find it very shocking.
A poor state of affairs when foreigners want you to accept their culture while finding every excuse to be offended by our culture!! This happens in America also
Smart man! They’re starting to use the same tactics as in the US. There is a reason why they keep pushing diversity in certain countries. And the reason is because it can be used as a gate to division later
In Germany we don't know this tradition but I can assure you, in a few occasions and depending on the cooking skills of the mother in the household, I would have loved to not be moraly oblidged to attend the familily dinner.
That goes for Finland too 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and yes i was never invited to diner and thay asked if im not going home to eat i sed nope im eating when i go home 🤣🤣🇫🇮🇫🇮
It was similar over here in Germany when I grew up in the 80s and 90s. Supper was a family event. The only time in a day where the whole family was guaranteed to meet. For the fathers, they often had only a 1..2..3 hour window when they came home before the children went to bed. So, my family had two rules in that regard: -You only stay for supper if you are invited, but ask us first. -Do not bother your friends and their family on Sunday, that is their and our family day. There also were families where the parents prepared a cooked meal for the family, and they simply did not have enough to spare that day for a couple of extra kids. If I really wanted to stay, I would wait in my friends room then. I never felt excluded, even as a 8 year old I understood that some families struggled more or had other family traditions. Not that complicated of a concept. ^^
I grew up in the 50/60s. We were taught that you go home if you were visiting and it was dinner time. And if you didn't have the sense to leave, the people you were visiting would tell you to go home. Or if they did invite you to eat, you would say no, thank you, and leave because it would be rude to intrude on their dinner time if prior plans had not been made. No one would expect someone else to feed their child.
They do that here in the u.s. too, only instead of the kid waiting in the other room they are told it is time to go home. Dinner is private family time for a lot of people. However others always invite them, feeding other people is a sign of respect and hospitality. Italian and Mexican mothers especially, they'll try to feed you to death. I don't remember how many times I heard"you're too skinny, you eat." And you knew better than to refuse because that can be seen as disrespectful.
Living in Finland, I do not remember ever being invited to the family dinner table either, when visiting my friends as a kid. Which is kinda strange because I was invited to coffee everywhere and served cakes and muffins and whatever there were on offer with coffee. But when my friends started dinner I usually sat on the kitchen bench and talked to them while they ate. And I was not in the least bothered by it. There is something sacred about the table in the house, and those who belong to it and who don't. This is a peculiar twist in culture. I do not see why they did not invite me to join dinner, they propably were afraid that I would eat it all - which is true. Families prepare dinner for the family, and size the meals accordingly, so...one more head aroudn that table would mean there is not enough for all. Another example of the sacresy of the table is when I visited my grandmom who lives in the country and in a remote location, and they got alot of visitors to the house of which some stayed overnight because there was no other accomodation in the area. It was a formed custom to let travellers, even gypsies in the house, beccause that was sort of a major house in the village. These travellers sat on the bench while others sat around the table, and talked and told about things they saw and experienced in other places they came from. Then the hostess would invite them to the table, with a subtle hint like "quests also" - and then they moved aroudn the table, in an almost ashamed manner to join the othes, and always, ALWAYS at that point pulled a bread or something else from their bags to bring to the same table. There was this theme of exhanging news, and bringing your own food along, so you were not a total leech to the house. This memory comes from far past, tho, and it likely has roots even further in the past. thigns have changed since.
I grew up in the 70's and 80's too, and can remember my parents doing similar when it was dinner time, especially when it came to the (once) traditional Sunday dinner. This was considered a, 'Family meal ' and it was the same at my friend's parents too. My parents had no issues feeding my friends, but that Sunday dinner was considered almost sacred. It's gone out of vogue nowadays, as has eating the majority of meals with the family sitting together. I'm not Scandinavian, I'm English.
Great video! I could tell you just wanted to sit there and shake your head back and forth at the absurdity of it all. It's too bad people can't focus on the fact that we are all human. Period. Take care Bjorn💕
Growing up here in the USA it was the same here. Usually parents want you back home at dinner time. Sometimes you were invited to stay for dinner, but would call home to see if it was ok to stay over.
I follow a very young Norwegian girl. She won Norway’s Got Talent when she was 7. She wrote a book and it was published in Norway. She also wrote a song about Oslo. She has done concerts for charity, speaks 3 languages, plays piano, guitar. She is 16 now, beautiful, humble, wears clothes, lol. I think you would appreciate her music. Her name is Angelina Jordan. She is on RU-vid.
In the US, if a kid was around close to dinner you were either supposed to call your parents to make sure your own parents didn’t have dinner made for you or if you could eat over at your friends house. And now as a grown up when I invite people over to my house for dinner I provide everything including drinks. But when I go to someone’s house for dinner I was always taught to never go empty handed. So I’ll bring a nice bottle of wine or dessert.
Dear sir Good day You brought me back to my upbringing It was the same for me and my sisters And it was done out of respect I had forgotten Yet it too was my upbringing Ironically as I have a live and passion for cooking I would make dishes and my children would deliver them to the elder people around me that lived alone There are so many things that are misunderstood and they take it and runs with it Interesting that this be something to pick on But it happened when I was a child And you brought that back Good day
I’m from the US, and I grew up in the 90’s. There were times when I was at my friends house, their parents would send me home before dinner time. If they wanted me to stay, the parents would ask my parents if it was ok.
Growing up in Ireland when I'd be playing with friends their mothers would call them in for their dinner and I'd go home for my dinner, I'd gobble mine up as fast as I could then straight back out to play, my friends would do the same, that's just how it was, however any time we called visit each other's homes the first thing we'd be expected to do was sit and drink tea before going out to play, the kettle was always on for tea and people would ask if there was something wrong with you if you turned down the offer of a sup of tea.
Our kids' friends were always welcome to share meals with us, providing it was okay with their parents. We would first ask their parents if their child had any dietary restrictions, either for health or religious reasons.
The way you described it in this video is exactly how it was for me in Scotland growing up. Everyone went to their own homes for dinner or waited outside for whoever to finish eating.
I think it is quite common in most nothern countries. I am German and when my children have friends from the neighbourhood here they will leave automatically when it's dinner time: My kids will do the same when they are at their friends home
I remember that in the 1950’s we weren’t invited to dinner. It was out of respect to the parents-our parents that they didn’t invite us to dinner. It had nothing to do with race, it was just out of respect to the child’s parents. And this was in California in the 50’s.
When I was a kid in New York, when dinner time came around, you went home. If you were playing outside, you could hang around without problem, but generally, you left.
When I was a child when it was dinner time we went home to have dinner with the family my father insisted on this . We did this in America too. All the families practice this custom in the neighborhood
I grew up in the 80’s in Sweden and this is true what Bjørn said. I didn’t pay to much attention to this “Swedengate” nonsense so I had no idea that it was do big. Isn’t there more important things on this planet for people to get involved in? Hope these people don’t find out that one have to take off ones shoes when entering someones home! What a scandal!
Having grown up in heavy Scandinavian decent communities in the USA, it is the same here. Dinner time is family meeting time and an assessment of what everyone has done, is doing and has to do. This is a private time that keeps families together. Good parents want their kids home for the meal. Because of this dynamic, kids wanted to go home. In the summer, it was more loose, as school and activities were less. Also, the first thing, coming in the house with a friend after school, was to feed them. Hospitality had nothing to do with it.
I've visited Sweden many times because my brother and sister lives there, by the way i am Syrian and i really felt how swedes are friendly and humble and like to help you when they see you in situation that need help in a restaurant or gas station etc they are very sweet ppl , when my brother first arrived to Sweden he rented a room in a Swedish family house , the owners were old couple they treated him like their son , the lady did his laundry and offered him daily meals with them , even after he left they still inviting him every summer to their country house , recently my brother bacame a Swedish citizen and he is very proud, thank you Sweden 🇸🇪
im from denmark and in my family dinner time is family time and most times when i was a kid my mom would send friends home to eat to be with their family to talk about how the day was and so did we and dinner time is also info time.
In the Netherlands is where i live in my home country is the same thing, when it is time to eat and you are not invited for dinner then you have to go back home then, That is the same thing here in the Netherlands.
This was never a problem when I grew up, my father was a chef and always brought extra food from work. My friends was asking like "did your father bring food from his restaurant?" "Yes he always does" "Lets go to your place"
Generally regardless of *Culture* and *Race.* A *Family* having a *dinner* and leaving the *Guest* to *wait* is just plain *Rude* and *Disrespectful.* Although there is *No obligation* to have to give that *person* food. There is something called *moral ethics* and *etiquacy.* If I'm at a *Friends* house and I see his *Family* having *dinner* and giving me the *body language* that I am *not invited* or am being an *inconvenience.* I just *Leave* and don't *come back* Now Me *Personally* if there is a *Guest* at My *Home* I always try to be *Hospitable.*
Showing respect for another woman's home and work preparing meals is for sure waycis to those who rely on handouts and are used to getting free stuff by making demands of altruistic people.
I'm from Galicia, Spain. I can understand that it's a cultural thing, but I also undesrtand that it's truly offensive to people from places like mine, where hospitality it's understood in a whole different way. We feed our guests (even against their will), we really take proud on it and would consider stingy and rude someone who doesn't do the same for us. As for parties, even if it's considered polite to bring something to drink or eat with you, it will never be for you 😂, it will be shared with everybody else. Anyways the host of the party is expected to provide the food and drinks, you can return his or her hospitality next time, when you'll be hosting the party. In fact we would "compete" in serving our guests the best food, drinks, etc...
Since moving to Sweden from South Africa: My biggest culture shock has just been how much people attribute things to “Swedish culture” that I would assume are just individuals choosing to act as they will. People will tell you “swedes don’t greet people in the street” or “swedes avoid talking to their neighbours”. Well , I did that for 29 years as a non swede, as a person in software, many of my colleagues were the same way. Were we all of swedish descent? No! We simply had different personalities. To say that people will behave a certain way because they were born in a certain country to me seems like a very prejudiced bigoted way to look at things.
Sweden was a beautiful country with the most beautiful and kind people. It breaks my heart when I see what they have «invited» into their country. Now Sweden is multicultural hell. Much love to all my Swedish brothers. 🇳🇴❤️🇸🇪
In my culture, having a guest wait in a room while the family eats is insulting and just weird. The guest is always a priority. I don’t think it has to do with racism. I think it’s because Scandinavians are colder and reserved when it comes to relationships with other people…maybe because of their climate 😂
just ask them to go home, now, some people cannot afford to feed everyone, we had the problem my mom worked and my dad left my mom and she barly was able to pay the bills so why should we feed other peoples kids? I think it is rude to expect others to feed you when you have your own home. guests are prority? are friends guests? family is always prority, the responsiblity for the family the father and mother and they must care for their kids first, I dont know where the guest gets priority came from. it is different if you are hosting a party, that is quite different. or it is a guest from say a far away place and cannot go home to eat, maybe a relative or friend from a distance, or if they are invited earlier to eat, but jus showing up and hanging out expecting to be fed is rude.
@@rosesmith6208 in that case, have dinner until after the play date. I’m North African and that region is much poorer than Northern Europe but we never encounter this issue you speak of and eat while the friend is in the other room lol - and exactly, if they are not a guest you shouldn’t make them feel like an outsider.
@@millionmarbles5612 when it happened to me in the 70-80S, was usually asked if I wanted to stay or go home. Home was next door or maybe 2-3 houses away. If they had a fun game you didn’t have you stayed and your friend ate quickly in maybe 10 min then you could play for 20min more until it was your dinner time
@@millionmarbles5612 Doing it once in a while is no problem, but why should I feed other kids on a daily basis? My kids have the same other kids here on a daily basis and to EXPECT that I SHOULD feed them everyday is what's rude.
This is what happens when you are gracious and open your country to people with no common cultural ties. There will be a segment that will be ungrateful and hateful in return to your kindness.
Being offended and interpreting things as being racist has become a woke sport. It causes trouble and division. In England, when I was growing up, kids just went home to their own houses at lunchtime and tea time. However, if any of the other kids did not go home at meal times, because their parents were not there, they would be offered a meal with us. I imagine it would not be any different in Sweden.
80s 90s kid here. In England..if you invited your child's friend over to play, then you feed them lunch and dinner. I have known no other way. I guess back in the days when kids played out then yes they go home for dinner, else you feed the whole damn street! I think our mum's chatted, agreed timing and accepted the invitation to have dinner. I could not leave a child hungry watching us eat. I agree, common curtesy to ask and not assume, ie not behave entitled.
I grew up in the US during the 1970's and 1980's. If I was over at someone else's home and it was dinner time, I was not automatically asked to dinner. I was typically told to go home. I am white.
When I grow up we were three siblings in the family an children were maybe playing in other ways then? When the three siblings had one or two friends playing every day and it was time for dinner the friends went home for their dinner. Nobody were interfering in children’s life then, like today. But for dinner and when the streetlights were turned on in the evenings you had to go home! The same for all children on the street or the village. If all family’s should feed the children that happened to be in the house that day it would be difficult. More so when the family had three or four kids. It wasn’t planned playing then like today.
What utter nonsense! When i visited a friends home, as a kid, i would know to go home if it was time for dinner, or a parent would call mine to ask "if (name) could eat there or shall we send him home for dinner?" (The latter being most common) there is nothing unwelcoming or "muh racism" about it, it lays the groundwork for good manners. When your mother has spent time cooking a meal the last thing she should hear is "i ate at Harald's house, so I'm not hungry" ... if you want to make mum angry, that's how you make mum angry. Just sounds like another smear attempt on our cultures.
In Australia you pretty much were told you had to be home for dinner or before dark,if you got invited to have dinner at your friends you would phone home and ask, I got invited a lot and invited my friends a lot 🤷 as an adult it's byo booze and if invited to a BBQ bring a salad or sometimes your own meat depending on the number of people etc, I use to invite my friends for breakfast after a big night out,my parents didn't mind 😉
I grew up in America in the Inland NW in the 70’s and this was common. Family dinner time was just that, family. Some of my friends ate dinner earlier before my mom fixed dinner. My dad worked hard and dinner was ready when he got home.
**shaking my head** I hadn't heard about "Swedengate," but I was born (1965) and grew up in the United States - and I cannot remember a time when either I ate dinner at a friend's house or had one eat at mine, without it having been planned for well in advance. You just didn't do that sort of thing - expect someone else's family to feed you. When it was time for dinner, you went home. Period, end of story! So I don't get why this is a problem. I admit, I'd think having a kid in another room while my family was eating would be pretty awkward... better to send 'em home - preferably in a gentle way, such as "Well, we're going to have supper, now - why don't I have little Johnny call you when we're finished?" Or words to that effect!
being invited to dinner when you're visiting is kind of the norm in Germany and happens out of courtesy, at least I have never been excluded like that and definitely a foreign concept
If I had a kid as an american who plans on moving to sweden. I'd let my kid know before hand that they won't be fed at their friends house and they should always come back to my house for dinner
