Sweet, Innocent Med Students (taking a substance use history) 

It's probably his first semester as a meth student.

we literally had classes to teach us of the street names of drugs just for this particular situation

The most honest patient ever and not understood at all 😂

Always be 100% open with your doctors about your substances. They legally can’t tell anyone and it’ll just help them administer safer care.

i love how there is no judgment just confusion

This reminds me of me as a baby lawyer at the public defenders office. Clients had the most random names for drugs.

A meth user would be very upset if you gave him angel dust lmao

Just a tip: Angel dust is not meth, it's phencyclidine phosphate or PCP. Sometimes people think that PCP is a cigarette dipped in formaldehyde but that is called "sherm" .

One time I had a coworker who was obviously dealing addiction issues. She came to work one day upset and explained she had to kick her boyfriend out because she "found ice in his jacket" Later my manager said she was confused about why the guy had a bag of ice in his jacket and she didn't understand how it didn't melt. We had a learning opportunity that day.

I laughed out loud at that last part “methanol or methylene blue?” God I have no life 😂

This was me. I was sheltered so much and didn’t have outside exposure. I went to assess a patient at home with a social worker. I asked him about drug usage. He said he didn’t so I believed him. Social worker was like, why didn’t you push him more to tell the truth? The house smelled like drugs. The stink was everywhere. I couldn’t tell since I didn’t know what the drugs smell like.

As a neurologist, it never ceases to amuse me the looks I get when going over my drug history. Nor when I tell them I have been clean for 7 years. 😂

"I'm just a med student so I don't know everything yet." 🤣

Actually great technique from med student, open and nonjudgmental

I want to applaud you not only for making this topic funny for just a moment, but also showing a physician who is concerned about the patient's health instead of being judgemental.❤

Lmao I’m a therapist and we have a whole class on substance abuse where they teach us about different drugs, their street names, their typical cost, and the way that they are taken (injected, snorted, swallowed, etc.). We even learned how certain ones are made like turning cocaine into crack. Never thought I’d take a college class like that but it sure was interesting lol. Let’s just say I used google incognito for most of my research for class because I didn’t want the algorithm to be affected by it haha.

This is actually me at my current work. I work in an addict recovery center and people be looking at me like I'm a lost puppy when I blank at all their lingo. They call me a normy hahaha

“Methaline blue?” **happy goldfish noises**

So cute and so sheltered. Polywhiz though, u got me stumped.

PolyWiz sounds like the street name for Polyjuice potion

In the psych ward there were certain days when they'd bring in all the med students and a lot of them were just like this. It was always really sweet and wholesome because they were so sheltered compared to us patients. Never any judgment either way lol

When a new nurse, i was interviewing a 65 year old man, I asked him if he took anything recreational in the 80s, and he responded, "black tar heroin". Completely floored me, and I never assumed anything again.

Dude is surprisingly calm for a methead

Angel dust isn’t meth, neither is speed, speed and meth are amphetamines but only meth is a methamphetamine, angel dust is a completely different thing

"Or...Methylene Blue?" *Fish mode. ACTIVATED.*

I still remember 9th grade health class. I failed the test on illicit drug symptoms and street names….but my friend (just in class, didn’t hang out outside of class) passed. He failed all the other tests like name of bones and muscles 😂 I hope he’s ok…

When I worked on detox as a student and this is how I felt! It was such a non-judgemental environment to work in and a great learning experience!

As a former drug addict and still frequent marijuana enjoyer, let me tell any med students reading this: Don't worry fam, most of us are honestly glad you don't know, we don't want more people suffering addiction problems, so when you don't know what the slang is, it tells us you're doing okay. That and if you're unsure, ask freely and directly about our drugs and lingo, half of us are borderline medical experts when it comes to illicit substances 😂

As a person who struggles with a meth addiction thank you for making this funny skit while also not judging the patient.

Checking in for surgery decades ago I get a surgeon's PA who doesn't tell me he's a PA. I think he's a surgeon. But when we get to the "uuuuuhhh... did you say allergic to 'phenothi....something''? How do you spell that?" That's when I knew. Sadly, 3 weeks later I literally assaulted him from my bed in self-defense. I had two chest tubes in. And they'd been leaking for 3 weeks. They finally stopped and a day later the surgeon said "if it still looks good we'll pull those tomorrow". I sneezed that night. BLOOP! I hear the vacuum thing bubble and the tubes are back to bubbling like mad. So the PA comes in at 5am and says "we're pulling those tubes today". I explain why we're not. He says "nothing on this order has any conditions, it just says pull the tubes so that's what I'm doing". I argue more and he finally just reaches up and starts pulling tape off my chest. He didn't expect what came next. I was quite healthy, save for leaky lungs. So I sat up and SHOVED him hard. He fell back two steps and landed in the chair. And he SCREAMED at me insisting I was gonna be in SOOO much trouble and he absolutely was reporting this. It didn't go like he expected. Surgeon came in 4 hours later saying "I heard from him what happened--you did the right thing and I told him so--if he'd pulled the tubes you would have been in deep respiratory distress within about 30 minutes and me or someone would have been doing an emergency chest tube placement. And he said I wouldn't see that dude again...he'd told him to stay outta my hospital room.

I actually think it’s really sweet that this guy thinks it’s sweet that a med student would be so clueless, but is himself clueless enough to call meth angel dust

Glad the patient isnt lying lol

Lol me my first month in the ER. Also, Angel Dust is actually PCP!(at least in my region) A patient FIRMLY corrected me on that one.

"SiR ImMa a doctOr, not a certified drug dealer. So I'll need you to dumb it down for me!" 😂

The most unbelievable part is that anyone would be this honest with their doctor

If he said he does whippets the med student wouldn’t be wondering about dogs. Med students love NO2

Mad respect for anyone who *willingly* consumes methanol.

I died for a just a bit from a life of alcohol and drug abuse, and spend a few months in the hospital. I was always super nice with the staff and pretty upbeat, considering my condition. They would bring med students around all the time to talk to me, and so many of them were juuust like this! Young, compassionate, intelligent, kind folks to whom patients like us were fascinating. But they never looked down on me, or acted like they were better or smarter than us.

I'm so proud of how honest this patient is

I remember when I was 18 the school had arranged for a young doctor to come in to handle our health checkups for mandatory military service that was coming up after we'd graduate. I did the foolish thing and was honest about my alcohol usage, and she was shocked that I, someone who had just received access to bars and for whom the student council arranged parties for basically every week, drank more than 10 pints a week. After that I have never been honest with any healthcare personel if I have been doing something unhealthy. It only leads to trouble.

On my psych rotation I was trying to take a substance history and this patient rattled off whole bunches of shit I'd never heard of. I tried to ask more and sounded so absolutely out of my element that the NURSE started laughing at me. ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

As a Substance Abuse Counselor this is refreshing. I wish I was this innocent 😂

Got into the ER after a failed attempt, and next to me there was an OD just-brought-back patient and this girl, she was probably in her early 20s although she looked much younger (lucky her) and this patient was trying to explain to her what he did and couldn't get her to realize what type of drug it was because she didn't even knew what he was talking about and i had to explain to her the whole thing because i grew up around cooks and knew most of the groups, if you know you know. She was horrified by it.

I worked at a ward we alot of elderly people but we had to ask the questions too once one patient said yes. I was so shocked i also didnt know what to ask.

Lmao this is so funny to me as an addiction counselor I'm pretty unfazed by most answers but sometimes they do come in with some new slang & I've got to fess up I don't know what it is & they've got to explain it to me 😅

Doc: “Any history of drug use?” Me: “No, I can’t figure out where to get any.”

The patient is being surprisingly forthcoming.

My favorite story is innocent little me going to my first ever pregnancy appointment, and they're doing this kind of screening. The nurse says have you taken any drugs while pregnant? I answer yeah, I had the flu and I didn't know I was pregnant so I took mucinex and tylenol. She's like oh no honey we meant illegal drugs. She gave me a look like awww how sweet she thought I meant tylenol 😇

“Is that short for methanol or methylene blue?” I lost it 😹☠️

Spot on. Also had drugs addicts rolling their eyes at my lack of knowledge of street names!

I like not just referring to acid as LSD but still using the whole name, good detail to play up the naivete!

Haha. As a student I was doing an H&P on a new derm patient. Typical, do you smoke, do you drink alcohol? She fussed how bad they are for you with an “oh no, never” and more about how bad it is for you. The next question was about street drugs. I almost didn’t want to ask it based on her reaction to the prior 2 questions, but I did bc I was supposed to. She said, “weeeelllll, as smokes crack every now and then”. I died. A good lesson to never assume. Now I work in a prison, so, that lady was mild compared to some.

Angel dust is for PCP though.

methylene blue straight up killed me 😂😂😂😂😂😂

my friend (studying for med school) showed me her books and there were huge tables with drug names and their street names for this very reason.

I had flashbacks to writing "the sugars" under medical history in my first week as an EMT. That means diabetes. My captain highlighted it and hung it up in the office for a month 😂 😭 Also there's nothing harder than remembering how to spell Marijuana after your third call between midnight and 3 am

Funny enough they give me the same funny looks when I answer no to everything. “What do you mean you don’t drink or smoke?!” 😂

I woulda admitted them to the hospital after “a pack a day” of cigarettes 😭

I would love to see ANY adult this naive

My fave is when you ask "Do you smoke?" and they say "Oh no!" and then it turns out that they 100% do smoke, but they used to smoke a pack a day and now they've cut back, so the amount they smoke now doesn't even count as smoking 😂

omg this reminds me of my grandma back when I was on OxyContin real bad in the mid-2000s. I had hid it for a good while until I finally caved and confessed to my mom, and at the time, my grandma was living with her due to old age. So we were talking one day and my mamaw asks “So that oxyCOTTON … that’s what you’re always spending your money on, huh?” and I’m just like “yea, grandma, trying to get clean from it…” Which absolutely confused her, so she starts talking about methods to get stains out of cotton. When she and mom went out shopping, she bought me a bar of Fels-Naptha and said “here honey, this will help, just use a little bit on the stain and it will clean your cottons, and it’s cheap so you don’t have to waste your money on all that expensive Oxyclean detergent.” I miss that woman so much.

Literally never thought about this shit happening but now i know its most definitely happend

it always surprises me that some people have no experience with drugs or drug users, like how sheltered can you be? i remember one of my best friends before meeting me had no clue what weed actually looked like, so the first time she came over to hang out and saw my weed jar sitting on the table, she thought it was a terrarium

In HS my chemistry teacher discovered his 1g weight was missing. I laughed and said with 0 understanding why would they want a 1g weight? I got both extra credit from him and endlessly mocked by the class.

The unrealistic part is the patient being completely open, honest, and understanding Edit: Why did this blow up Also for those in the comments, I know some people have no problem being open about their uses, but after seeing the number of people on steveio's page asking if the doctor's will call the cops for finding evidence of use, and general stories from the internet, I'm inclined to believe most people will try to hide it

Bronis hitting the Methylene Blue HARD, he looks like a smurf on the inside

As a botany student I can confirm that meth is short for methylene blue.

I was the goth kid with a bad reputation in HS. Saw some popular kids at a friend's party and they approached me to ask me for a "piece" [Spanish slang for some sort of drug i never knew which] and i, bewildered, replied "piece of gum? Domino game piece? What?!" They angrily walked away i didnt know their drug lingo cuz i was actually straight edge lmao

I had a methamphetamine report due today, and everyone in the class had a different drug. So we were always asking, “Wait, which drug are you doing?” and itd be like “oh yeah im doing cocaine hbu” lmaooo

Had a similar experience as a grand juror when indicting for drug crimes.

I had a patient who was giving me odd name, had no clue and looked at him blindly, he said name these are street drugs. As a nurse I felt so clueless.

LOL. I am a staff. I just look at my patients and go “look, I need you to explain this to me. I’m a little dumb when it comes to that stuff. I have no idea what you’re talking about”. Most of them laugh before getting into specifics 😂 it’s a weird kind of bonding moment.

I’m just now learning how naive I am. I am so naive that I didn’t have any idea. I never heard of ice or poly whatever. I work in an elementary school where “shut up” is thought to be the “s” word.

This mans has never seen a movie in his liiiiiife stgggg

Angel dust is PCP but I'm just glad this pretend guy is so honest with his physician. It's important.

So good!!! 😂😂 this is so me haha I’m lucky my med school profs are teaching us all the names rather than just the textbook ones

Not me Googling PolyWhiz, and still not understanding what it is 💀

It is really good that the doktor understand that he dont understand here and ask.

Surprised that the DARE program works so well on people that clearly we're there that day

When I was in school for respiratory therapy, we were supposed to draw an ABG. This was back in the 1970s when we used glass syringes that we’d heparinize with liquid heparin. We were told that our first patient would be a comatose patient. I was a little needle phobic in those days, and somehow avoided drawing an ABG, until the day came, and they told me I’d be drawing an ABG on the young man who was recovering from a drug OD. I was so nervous… When he looked at me as I entered the room, he said, “You’ve never done this before, have you?” I missed, and he said, “Don’t feel bad, even I miss sometimes.” 😅 Nowadays we wouldn’t have been doing an ABG on him, but that was in the days before pulse oximetry and end tidal CO2 monitoring.

This reminds me of when I was working at a video game store as a sweet summer child... Two young men came in and after a while I overheard them say, "look at her, she's not going to know." I would hear this all the time as a female working in a game store, so I naively said something like, "I'm always happy to help! What were you looking for?" They looked at me in disbelief and said, "you know where to get hash?" "OH! YES! THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING! You need to go to Spyro's!" The two young men got wildly excited and asked where Spryo is. I told them "it's a restaurant just a few miles down, they have the best corned beef hash in the city." Their mood immediately deflated and they left without saying another word to me. My boss pulled me aside and explained how "hash" is another word for "weed". Rofl

anyone who doesn't know know what ice is, lives under a rock bigger than mine

My friends and family were always amused at how much I knew about drugs because I am and have always been completely clean and sober. I am just interested in the whole of human experience.

Angel dust is a street name for PCP/PPC. I think. But other than that I think you’re spot on.

I had second thoughts about leaving for the military after I'd already signed up and swore in. When we had to go to final physical before shipping out they asked us if we'd been bad and done drugs since passing the piss test. I said "oh yes...very bad". They asked me how much of a particular drug I had done and I replied "in dollar value or weight". The doctor sighed and said "yeah, don't do that anymore...next". A few hours later I was on an airplane headed to basic training. Looking back i'm hella thankful that doctor just waved me on. Got me off drugs and life got much better

Y'all always need a person like me that knows both the chemical nomenclature AND the steeet names.

Born in 1992 and I remember when DARE would come to the elementary school and talk to us about all of these I mean I was still learning about it in middle school which was early 2000s but her school's really not teaching this stuff to kids anymore

This would totally be me. I've never done any illegal drugs and really have no idea about them. 🤦🏻

It took me waaaayy too long to realise the med student was the one taking notes 😂😂😭😭

This is how i felt in middle school

When just say NO, teaches you every name. Then goes on to describe how they make you feel.😂

As a recovering addict, this is actually pretty accurate. I've taken almost every drug most normies can think of, and some they cannot, and let me be the first to tell you that med students are genuinely both fascinated and polite about my lifestyle! Every one I've spoken to (with the exception of one, but that's another story) was really curious and interested, like I was some kind of experiment to them. They wanted to know all about the effects, dosage, pretty much everything except how to get it or how much it costs. Very accurate video!

I remember being at my job and the RN on staff didn’t know code names or anything about street drugs. Very sweet but naive man. Dead ass turned ti me and asked if I knew what meant what. Had to give him an education. Dude was like how long have you been sober. I had to tell him that my sibling was the one who did all that stuff but taught it to me so I could never be tricked/if I ever fell into it I could harm reduction. Whole concept blew his mind. He’s now taken several like, conference things on it and is fantastic but explaining why feet were used to inject broke this guys heart.

I love it: "I don't know everything . . . yet."

Ohhh, I get it! Med students see this sort of stuff the same way that I (a linguistics student) see language “errors.” Sometimes I’ll ask a friend something like “were you about to say ‘I amn’t’?” They usually get this look on their face like “don’t bring it up, that was a mistake!” But I’m not asking because I want to laugh at them - I’m asking because it’s very interesting that they misspoke _in that way!_ It’s not how I would figure that sentence would be formed. :) People always assume that the best person to ask “which is right” is a linguist, when in reality we’re the worst to ask. Our typical response will be “whichever sounds better to you!”

What I know about meth I learnt from Breaking Bad

Calmest meth patient ever

Oh, poor student. We will be patient with you.😊

I usually pass for a legitimate normal person, so I have caught a doctor or two off guard when I started naming the list off to them. After I'm done, I always look at them and go, "aahhh, the good old days".

I instantly thought of denture grip when he said polywhiz