Tabletop RPG Story: The WORST Detective In the World! From Dresden Files RPG 

"I'll sign off on without checking." Even before the ominous tone started, I was having flashbacks and alarms were blaring in my head.

A detective with no points in investigation, all points in fists, guns and cars, and who constantly breaks the law? So every 80s tv detective.

He said you could be anything, so you became a legend.

I (un)fortunately never got this past my DM, but in a World of Warcraft D&D campaign I one tried to play a Tauren bard. The bard couldn't sing, or speak at all actually, for he put all the points he could spare into Performance(Mime). He would inspire his comrades through the power of interpretive dance, set to the tantalizing beat of the Lutehammer. He came close to kicking me out of his house after that, but I call it a success.

Aw, this ended too soon. I want to hear more adventures of Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage

You are a loose canon Detective Rage! You are a cop on the edge! You don't follow any rules except the rules of Savage Rage! The Cowboy Cop Detective Savage Rage!

Head Canon: Savage Rage wasn’t the name he was born with, it was probably something like Keith Weiner or something and he changed his name and adopted this “cool guy” attitude because as a kid he had no friends and he thinks 80s action movie cliches are how people communicate.

I need to know more about Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage. I NEED to. If I don't, I'll die.

I laughed for a full 10 seconds at the "Whatever you make I'll sign off on without checking" line. Good lord that's a bad decision there.

"Those kids with you knew in high school who wore the long trench coats." Oh boooy...

DM: Tells you that story wise your character is from the worst of the police. Is then surprised when your character is bad at his job. To quote a great philosopher and business man, Micheal Bluth, “Well, I don’t know what I expected.”

Journalist: "You are without a doubt the worst detective i have ever heard of" Detective Savage Rage " But you have heard of me" *clenches buttcheeks*

Oh god. I can't believe the gm just *trusted* you! You can never just *trust* players! I wouldn't trust myself lol

So when your detective stopped following the case, was it a... "Savage Rage Quit"?

San Diego is pretty. Pretty full of human trafficking.

I want a full Series about Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage please

As a huge fan of the actual Dresden files book series...this hurts in all the right ways. Harry would approve, Murphy would cringe and molly would laugh her ass off. Well done.

Considering Dresden Files already has wizards riding undead dinosaurs, vampires shooting porn and a literal Jedi with a spirit powered skateboard, detective Rage fits right in.

Knowing what I know about Dresden Files, I’d think your character was a bunch of tiny folk trying to pass for a detective and only having Kung Fury as a guide.

You never tell a player they can have whatever they want, that's just asking for the player to break the game.

The moment the GM said "I'll sign off on everything" I could see the pendulum swinging right at everyone in the table. I've never played TRPGs before, but even I could see the horror it would bring.

See and this is why I get so frustrated with cookie-cutter characters and people complaining about making sure the party is "balanced." Who would want to play yet another monk trying to be Batman or an Orc so troped up even Netflix is making fun of it when you can be Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage!?

I don’t see what’s wrong with this. Detective Rage sounds like he would fit PERFECTLY into the world of the Dresden Files.

When your party is going too well so you have to derail the hell out of it with some hard bullshit This is like in dnd when someone rolls up an evil gnome illusionist just to make the game more chaotic

This kinda reminds me of when i did the exact opposite. My old group knew i liked to make fun, characters with diffrent skills rather than optimal builds, so when one guy wanted to run an old 2nd edition high level module in pathfinder he said to me "don't fool around, just make something focused." Well okay... And i checked with him every step, from the class, to the gear, to the feats and stuff. and all he said was 'whatever you want as long as its in a book and you have the gold for it." hehehe Level 19 gunslinger pistolaro specialist with a revolver from the advanced weapons list, with a holy gun and demon-bane bullets, d8+8d6 vs touch AC 5 times a round and reload as a free action

I fail to see the problem.

"I didn't put any ranks in investigation." "But you- you're a detective!" "I'm not one of those detectives that investigates things, investigating is for people who don't know what their doing." So you made a Konosuba character.

"A hunter loaded down with more weapons than those kids you knew in high school who wore the long trench coats."

After the rest of my party killed my first character for hoarding gold, I introduced my next character, Re. "Just Re?" they asked. No, Re is just the first name, I have a last name as well. "What?" It's Venge. "Your name is Re-Venge" Yep.

Never tell your players to just do what they want. They gonna test out if that's true

One of my favorite characters was a gnome with a massive Napoleon Complex and desire to prove himself the manliest gnome ever. He was Theodore "Rex" Manly of the Manly gnome family. He had a chin that took up a (figurative) quarter of his body mass, chest hair to spare, and aviator goggles and scarf on all the time. His catchphrase and battle cry was "Time for some manly action!" The twist was that he was a summoner type mage, and his summoned creatures were usually the ones doing the high risk action.

I love how on my screen the next video playing is "5 Players you don't want at your D&D table" XD

Dresden files: Supernatural crimes in supernatural times

DETECTIVE DETECTIVE SAVAGE "SAVAGE RAGE" RAGE! This is just incredible

Today I had my first experience on D&D. You were an inspiration for us to begin playing, so I feel like writing this even if it's not seen. I arrived late, so I joined after a quest my friends began, they spent hours trying to slay four goblins because being noobs we had a hard time understanding the basics of almost everything. They slay 3 goblins, they decide to torture the last one for information, bind him and try to force him join our quest. Of course GM states it will betray us sooner or later, but they load him to our carriage and force feed him a few days. After starting another quest, we arrive at a cave, I constantly argue that we should kill the goblin (who they named Gimbo as they grew attached despite it having more than enough reasons to kill us in our sleep). In the cave, we come across a huge monster that talks telepathically, one of my friends offends him, but we strike a deal: 3 live bandits as food for our lives and passage to the quest objective. As we leave, I offer Gimbo as a sacrifice in exchange for knowledge of any ruin/relic in the cave (trying to roleplay my character, a wizard-scholar willing to do anything for knowledge) but I am ignored by everyone (arguing about how combat works) and heard by the GM, who is also ignored as the creature takes Gimbo as food. Going a few rooms into a ruin we find, they want Gimbo to climb a wall and open a door, when GM reminds them the monster has it and why I did it. Everyonr gets mad at me for role-playing and selling their slave-humiliated pet with enough reasons to murder us all, and charge into battle to save Gimbo. We arrive just before the monster eats Gimbo, the farmer-hero shoots an arrow to distract the monster, I roll and land a very weak Magic Missile (3 points on the system we work out) but instead target Gimbo, I had hoped to slay him in a single attack and end this "he will turn" debate, with my friends getting more annoyed about my intentions to save them, believing they can turn "this wild creature of evil into a good NPC companion". It was fun, hoping to see what happens next week on our quest.

For my very first RPG session, I was playing with a group of friends. They were starting a new D&D campaign and I joined, but since I lived out of state at the time and this was before Skype, it was only going to be a one-off session for me. Because of this, I decided not to worry too much about stats and make sure my top priority was memorability rather than competency. I made a chaotic neutral female dwarf barbarian named Gertrude Dungwrangler, of the clan Dungwrangler, the finest dung wranglers this side of the Silver Mountains. The Dungwranglers were renowned for the high quality manure their cattle made, which was used as fertilizer by farmers across the empire. Because of this, the Dungwranglers were wealthy, respected, and highly influential in the politics of the empire. Gertrude, however, brought immense shame on the family because of her severe alcoholism and was disowned by her family. She wandered the frontier with a battle axe in one hand and a keg of ale on her shoulder (she never went anywhere without it) until one day she wandered into a tavern and met the adventuring party. Gertrude and the bard were instantly smitten with each other, despite the fact that she reeked of cow dung and cheap beer, and she agreed to join in their quest to get a treasure map and plunder an ancient tomb, provided the team pay for all her booze. In order to find the tomb the team needed to steal a treasure map which was hidden on an ancient parchment in a local museum. Because Gertrude was constantly chugging ale she also constantly had a full bladder, and she used that to her advantage, sitting down and peeing into an urn containing the ashes of a beloved former king. As the guards tried to catch her, but kept slipping on the puddles of urine Gertrude made as she continued peeing while running, the rogue deftly snatched the parchment and snuck away. The party was kicked out of the town and ordered to never return on pain of death for desecrating the remains of a beloved ruler. After an encounter with a pack of wolves (Gertrude tried to establish dominance by "marking" the alpha wolf, which went about as well as you'd expect) and a run-in with a bandit gang (Gertrude chopped off the leader's head and peed down his neck), the party reached the tomb, or so they thought. It turns out that the building was not a tomb, but an ancient temple connected to the Underdark, and a Drow scouting party was preparing a staging camp for a massive raiding party to follow. The adventurers decided to attack the scouts, and one of the adventuring party suggested that they make Gertrude's ale keg into a makeshift bomb. As it was about time for me to leave, I decided to send Gertrude out in a blaze of glory. She agreed and lit her keg on fire, then charged at the Drow. As the bard started screaming "JUST ROLL THE BARREL!" she shouted back "The barrel is all I have left! If it goes, I go!" She ran into the middle of the Drow party and said, "Hey, boys, the drinks are on me," just as the keg exploded, killing Gertrude, a half-dozen Drow, and lighting the rest on fire. It's been well over a decade, and my friends still say it was one of their favorite sessions ever.

I'm a simple man, I see a Puffin Forrest upload I click like before the video even starts

"Detective detective Savage "Savage rage" rage, GO TO YOUR ROOM!" "BUT MOM!"

I want to hear more of Detective Detective Savage “Savage Rage” Rage

I need to hear more, please! Also, anything regarding Dresden Files from you would be so appreciated!

Please, more Savage Rage. That character deserves his own miniseries.

We need to see a Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage vs. Dick Tracey crossover

ya its kindof a bad idea to give RPG vets 100% unchecked free reign on character creation. you'll either get something game breaking or inept and hilarious.

I love detective Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage's tiny stickman arms.

*sees comments section* *clenches buttcheeks furiously*

Dont worry miss detective detective savage "savage rage" rage is on the case *clenches butt cheeks furiously*

weird. I clicked on this video and I heard ominous music all around me as my room began to zoom in for a second.

This is the greatest character ever made.

I think more than one of us would PAY MONEY to join you in one of your RPG sessions. That was just hilarious.

>San Diego >America's finest city Your GM has never been to San Diego, has he?

I wanna hear more about savage rage

3:08 “San Diego is America’s finest city” Good Joke

As a GM I too have heard that ominous music when I let players do whatever at chargen. Creepy stuff.

Investigations are a waste of time. Every investigator knows that if you want to make any progress, you need to pretend to get your shoes shined and slip a 20 to Johnny the Snitch.

A monk scared of tech driving the car sounds like some running gag in a sitcom. Like everytime the gang drives to another location, the car is crashed into something in odd ways and the gang just walks off like nothing happened

I'm laughing so hard at this omg.

This has to be the best RPG story yet!!! Fracking awesome dude!!!

I love your depiction of the GM on a cloud btw

So, when the dramatic zoon-in came I was fully expecting you to make a crazy OP, gamebreaking build... Boy was I wrong.

And the GM learned a valuable lesson that day. Never tell someone, "Whatever" as they may take you up on it.

The true test of any person is what they do when given unlimited power. You... passed? Maybe?

Always always always check your players' characters. Always. For two reasons: 1) If you don't trust your players, they will use it to get away with shit. 2) If you do trust your players, it's disrespectful to ask them to write a character and not take the time to look it over.

4:25 That is an even better name than my half-gnome, half-halfling D&D 1e character's name, and I called him Hardmod "Skullcruncher Dope 3000" Llywelyn.

Well it's not as bad as my character. I'm a geomancer and I get recruited by a god to break a curse buuut nope I got stuck with a group of Mercs that are tasked to kill the mage responsible for the curse.

God damn, more detective savage rage please

And this is why GM's need session zeros

San Diego is actually having a huge problem with bums pooping on sidewalks and it's causing a rise in hepatitis A. So good monologue.

Your art and videos have grown so much!, thank you for bringing us viewers these great stories!

If you haven't read or listened to the Dresden files we recommend you do so as soon as humanly possible.

RIDDLED WITH CRIMMMMMMMMMMMME!

I would just LOVE to hear you narrate the adventures of Old Man Henderson. Though you'd probably have to put an advisory at the start of the videos, I already pretty much almost die laughing just from reading the thing, hearing you tell it would probably be dangerous to a lot of people's health from laughing too much/too hard. :P

Congrats on 100k subs! You deserve them. I'm looking forward to the day you reach 500k.

KUNG FURY! HE'S A MAN OF THE LAW!

1:05 possibly the WORST/BEST thing a DM could say; this is how characters like Old Man Henderson get created

A lesson to all DM's. DON'T GIVE A CARTE BLANCHE!

The biggest and if not the most dumbest mistake a DM can make is not going over your players character sheet.

Savage Rage’s description of San Diego is the most accurate description of this city ever

This was one of my favorite stories of yours....,probably because of my undying love of Kung Fury!

Still better than "Cypher Raige", if you ask me. WTF Will Smith?

This is the best channel in existence. Never have I ever laughed so much of stories like this XD Keep them coming!!

3:54 - "You are the worst detective." - "And you keep driving despite being the worst driver."

0:14 pump up kick intensifies

I demand more Savage Rage

Detective detective savage "savage rage".Better detective than batman

Why can’t this be a movie

this is exactly the sort of person that ends up disgraced and exiled to special investigations.

I lost it when you said Savage

This is an example of truly a truly beautiful and creative way to roleplay.

serioulsy, thank you so mch for your shorts :'D

Oh god, Dresden Files... ..the first game I ever DM'ed was a custom Dresden campaign I made, Hawaii Files-0. Started with the guys going there on an aircraft in 2016, arrived in 1981 - to be locked up on a US army base to be tortured by the CIA as Soviet spies. Ended up getting rescued by a Hawaiian god, who had detected the timetravel incident and needed some mortal agents able to go around in the world without drawing the attention of "The Hunters." A group of shadowy cybernetically enhanced agents with devices that detect and disable magic. Within three sessions they managed to fracture time so badly one of the player characters turned into a Nazi, a Napolionic era PI, a Cyberpunk cop and finally a sentient Raptor. Weirdly enough in that they also had a few driving incidents that stick in my mind. Such as the time they managed, via everybody getting stupidly high rolls, to be loaned a Black Court Vampire's hearse. Its windows were completely opaque, utterly black, and there was a large TV screen mounted in the dashboard next to the driver. They proceeded to drive the car, without finding a way to look out of its completely black windows. After five rolls above a 6, one of them thought to turn on the TV and reveal that the car used a CCTV system to let the driver drive the car. That was one of the milder sessions...

This is right up there with "The Gnome Without A Name" who wore a poncho and used cantrips to play theme tunes for dramatic entrances.

Apparently Ben, you are not to be trusted with limitless power :p

1:55 the additional detail of including using your foot to catch and close the door. You clearly enjoyed Detective Detective Savage “Savage Rage” Rage

More Dresden!

I just love these consistent uploads :D keep up the great work!!!

Did he ever get into any major gunfights?

YOU, my friend, have truly been inspired by every 80's & 90's action movie. ........Ever.

I want this adventure to be a movie- OH WAIT

Every time any other DM allows that guy to make any character he wants, he goes mad with power and creates a flawless, minmaxed Marty Stu. When you give Ben this power he makes a character that is completely incompetent, every time.

i died throught the entire episode