D&D Story: Detective Clancy 

I would have told the dragon theres more meat to eat on the other side of the door. White dragons are stupid and very primal so that probably wouldnt work. White dragons are a pain because there all mindless kill instincts.

You can roll for stealth, right? Just in the middle of the room? I mean you have to try something.

@@nathankurtz8045 even if I somehow survive the encounter, the fact they not only abandoned me but locked me in the room and trapped me requires some sort of payback and since I don't believe in sabotaging the party for my kicks, annoying the crap out of them is the next best thing

It is bad, my DM hates us

Totally going to attempt to either tame or make the dragon my ally

Yep........

Deception:OMEGA

New Class Feature Unlocked!: Psychotic And Delusional!

His charisma is so high that its a 26

delusion by jinkx... ...convince yourself

Lol, this reminded me of that Walmart South Park episode, where the guy in the white suit talked about taking different forms and just was changing hats xD

I did that before and if you pull it off it's the most funniest thing you will ever see and hear trust me.

@Riley Harper Wouldn't surprise me, but I never watched that stuff, so I'll take your word for it :)

XD

I won't give this a like, its at 769

I found out during an AL adventure that required a lot of investigation that somehow as a bard, I was the most intelligent character in the party. With only a 14 (+2). Most non-wizards just dump intelligence. And in AL, wizards are rare, because of how expensive they are to play (the dreaded "money goblin" rule). I fully acknowledge that if I were going super optimized, I should probably dump intelligence on any character that isn't a wizard (or some subclass that is basically a wizard hybrid, like an eldritch knight or an arcane trickster), but I don't like to roleplay characters that don't have at least average intelligence. My bard has a background where he was very fond of learning for its own sake, so giving him more intelligence made sense. He also has expertise in history. This can be useful more often than many would think. No guide ever tells you to put points into intelligence for a lore bard, but I think it fits honestly and makes him often the best in the group at intelligence-based ability checks (again, because of the scarcity of wizards, the only class that seems to value intelligence much). I don't intentionally make my characters bad at their class, but I often do things that are less than optimal for the sake of roleplaying.

@@troodon1096 what's the "money goblin" rule?

@@Torthrodhel 2 hours plus 50 gold in inks and components to copy a spell into your spell book. Per level of the spell. And the Wizard has one of the biggest piles of possible spells, that are kept not in the memory, or granted by a deity, but stored in a book or pile of paper that is fragile and easy to steal. One mugging or confiscation by guards and you have to start over.

@@MonkeyJedi99 ah I just didn't know it was called that. I see now. Yeah even with the common magic item that's an indestructable spellbook, that still doesn't stop it from being stolen.

It works well until you bump into an Illithid.

What? THAT'S ABSERD!!!

@@ThreeBeeHDb Who else read that in the voice of our lord?

Inquisitor Malleus Ay

Inquisitor Malleus yep

@@inquisitormalleus6435 yup

*detective detective savage "savage rage" rage is his real name

@@literallyglados Why thank you for reminding me of that.

@zhuull1 And Trixie Starbright is the evil mastermind that they try to arrest but who plays with them all the time

Okay... but how instead we have Trixie Starbright as the Police Commissioner, and Abserd is their criminal informant? Abserd knows all of the workings in the city--Abserd is a great help.

@@NimhLabs Abserd knows these mean streets! He's joined every gang! And been kicked out.

accuse of profiling, why is that even a thing

Profiling is the only effective method of policing

​@@skycaptain95 rather than... responding to crimes?

BATMAN

Rage

What about Sherlock Holmes?

Ayy I got like 200

Dick Tracy, he's the only competent one.

Ya Boi Solzhenitsyn theyre the same person, just with multiple personalities

That or he was stupid enough to blunder into it. Makes sense to me.

You mean the fact Trixie is a sociopath

You mean kicking her own ass?

Best... Alignment... _EVER!!_ Chaotic Neutral's a rebel, baby! Chaotic Neutral don't play by the rules! Chaotic Neutral don't bother with none'a that pesky caution or sanity crap!! ... I Love Chaotic Neutral. =)

@@jamesanthony8438 Its better than the murder hobo version "Chaotic Stupid"

@@miasmi4422 At least _they_ are more honest than the "I murder my own party's rogue for breaking the law" alignment Lawful Stupid...

@@entropyzero5588 At least they both follow some kind of alignment while "True Switzerland" does jack shit all game

@@miasmi4422 I mean I'm happy for you I'mma let you finish but True Neutral is basically how you play evil characters when your dm won't let you have an evil character. So I'm not sure where this "does nothing" stereotype is coming from.

he would destroy his voice, then where would we be. Think of the viewers man, I neeeeeeed my fix.

You're just gonna leave out Detective Detective Savage Rage?

Or maybe he should have a game with Detective Clancy, Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage, Dick Tracy, and Justin Case all working together on a case.

Forget about Endgame and GoT... Trixie Starbright vs. Chadwick Strongpants is the greatest battle of the season

@@lucy3766 I think it was mentioned in one of the previous tales, at the end...

Yes, always keep a backpack wizard handy

No one expects a backpack wizard.

Animated spell book is great

@@JEM_Tank the all guardsmen party coming in with the clutch

@@tehredmage as per usual

Puffin: “wait what.” Two seconds later party of the door with Puffin’s Rogue inside with the Dragon.....

To be fair that was 4th Edition where a Young White Dragon was a first level boss or something

@@FriendlyArchpriest But was only a rouge...the only way that i see a pure rouge killing a dragon is if he is level 10 and have a build design to do massive crit damage.

@@arqueiroXD blame the rest of the party not the balanced encounter

When in doubt, let your draconic bloodline sorcerer rolling in charisma try to negotiate with the dragon *OR* let the bard _convince_ the dragon

Hello Harold, I am also Harold

@@haroldgerken4835 Two kings in one place? Preposterous!

@@asrieldreemurr6209 I wouldn't consider myself a king, at best a king's assistant

Me: The power of *insert diety* compels you

I had flashbacks to the Pokémon video. It’s a devil in mortal flesh.

Umm, aren't demons normally at home in fire? Seems like you got a leak in your plan.

@@EdwardThimbleHands depends on the TYPE of demon. some demons are not fans of fire

@@MTKTube And some demons are sex oriented, and others are made of shit. I'm saying in general(that's why I said "normally")...demons are cool with fire, overall. There will always be exceptions, that's one of very few maxims that applies to almost everything.

In mine, it's a running joke that the assassin is a better healer than the clearic. Long story short, I - the healer - kept rolling low; and then I died. The assassin, meanwhile, kept reviving the bad guys (He was played as a guy who doesn't like people dying - outside his job - and every time he saved someone, he rolled high) so when I died, he saved me.

I've imagined the entire scene as some sort of an animated show and it got me cracking in tears.... *HARD*

NoArtisticLimitation i had a similar thing where i was DMing, and they level one group was fighting a bugbear, and the dwarf cleric cast inflict wounds, and she roled a 1 (which in my games when you role a 1 you attack an ally) so she just decked the fighter then immediately got taken out by the bugbears pet wolf. And then the wizard saved everyone with potions.

Dunning what now?

@@the_protectorof_smols3563 It's a cognitive bias where people think they're smarter than they actually are.

@@the_protectorof_smols3563 To be more accurate, it's when people who don't know anything about a subject don't realize that there's anything _to_ know. Perhaps epitomized by the phrase "I've never done _X_ before. How hard could it be?"

@@the_protectorof_smols3563 The dumber someone is, the smarter they think they are.

@@boobah5643 basically the "Colors of the wind" lyrics which I believe go. "You'll learn things you never knew you never knew."

Yes it is

I think you’re lowballing that percentage estimate.

Party is full of trolls cause it is more fun.

I already had a huge infighting that forced me to freaking retcon events (I am totally opposed to doing that but I had no other choice if I wanted to continue the story and considering that we didn't had much time left to play, I really didn't want to make a U Turn) the reason ? The wizard hoarded unto a sword he found and the rest of the party wanted him to give it to the rogue who lost his in the last fight and so all hell broke loose because of that wizard

@@sephikong8323 the party can just attack and kill the wizard??? pretty simple tbh clearly he doesn't want to play friendly anyways if he's hoarding, the rest of them can just gang him; don't even need a u-turn; if this was adventure league, once he dies, you just give him a new sheet and a new character; done

She didn't have to

Well, she got boobs now, so that's a thing...

@@TheGuardDuck . . . . . Yeah

she had to do something when she finished school. At least she found something that matched her past experiences.

No

Or why kids enjoy the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

No

Well, no... But! He can make you _think_ that he has!

He sure can! Just put your parents into a dark room with him and watch the magic at work. Or failing that, they'll work together to get rid of the weird man making out with himself in the corner of the room when the lights go back on.

Amanoob105 I feel like it’s not too off from Gildoroy Lockhart’s stats.

@@Treviisolion hed probably have some points in mind magic and less in deception

In Abberant I once played a character with telepathy who's backstory was that once he found out he could read minds he cheated his way though school by reading the mind of the teachers. When he found out that he could also plant thoughts, he then started planting thoughts in peoples heads that he was "the greatest" at whatever he was trying to get away with at the time. When he went out to eat he would always "pick up the check" and implant a thought in the waitress, or cashier, that it was paid, without actually paying. It was actually fun to roleplay someone who really was a piece of shit of a human being. The team was always glad he was on their side... though the players were never sure if that was because he implanted that thought in their characters heads or if they really liked him.

It's totally Near.

Yep. That's Hildibrand Manderville alright.

yeah i though that to

I commented the same thing under the video that got deleted :'(

No, my dude it is Dick Tracy!

Would love more videos of the adventures of Detective detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage.

And so began the "League of ...Questionable Detectives" Detective Savage Rage, Detective Clancy and Abserd (because...let's be real...at one point he probably was one) They will solve no case!

*detective detective savage "savage rage" rage

They'd never find each other because they'd keep missing clues as to the other's whereabouts.

The difference is Savage Rage knows he is is not good at investigating. Investigating is for people who don't know what they are doing.

It would be great to see how the White Dragon would do against a master of... "GUNZ" "FISTS" "DRIVING"

Dick tracey...

oh, *18* intelligence?! I thought for some reason he kept say "AT&T intelligence". ... I feel really dumb now....

@@Reishadowen Don't feel bad. I also thought he was saying that until the last time he said it and I was like "ohh wait, he said 18 intelligence." Too bad, I thought he was gonna belong to some special investigation unit.

I think he mixed up his intelligence score and his IQ

Ooooh, so _that's_ what he said! I thought he said "A-Team Intelligence", which sounded logical enough for me not to question it^^

but if he has an 18, how can he have a negative Investigation modifier? I think it it "8 in Intelligence" and not "18 Intelligence"

do dee do DEE

If I were the DM, I'd split my sides laughing then and there.

Did you mean Gnome dammit?

Reductive reasoning maybe

Pff, only a -1? My last character had a -2 on Dex! By the time his round came up, he already had plenty of targets for his healing spells^^ (The fact that he wasn't quite strong enough to wear his heavy armor only improved the image of the... dextrously impaired caster xD)

@@entropyzero5588 I remember playing a character with a -2 Dex before. The only thing funnier than having an initiative roll of -1 was somehow not going last in that fight.

@@HairyHariyama That's pretty impressive xD

Abserd is my favorite. Or the abolith 😂

You sure you don't mean "ridiculous"?

@@MontChevalier Yes. Am I going to change the error of my ways? Definitely not.

@@allendenberg Well, there's a bible reference to that, Proverbs 12:15, "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice." I guess you must love people making fun of you.

@@MontChevalier It's worth pointing out that you're citation only specifies "listening" to advice... not reading, NOR employing... so... there's that. ;o)

Half? Which ones _aren't_ ? 0o

@@entropyzero5588 Abserd

@@entropyzero5588 Chadwick strongpants

The Fighter he started with wasn't.

I thought it was weird to. I was watching it then got booted halfway through.

What was the fix? I saw the original video in my sub feed but put off watching it until it was too late.

@@WillcraftAnimations the audio cuts off for 5 secs a bit before 3 mins into the vid

The key actually stems from Barney being from “our” imagination. Meaning that he is collective, conscious thought given form: a tulpa.

This is not the sort of childhood digging I need to do.

Shared Hallucinations are not a thing in mental conditions.

@@homegrowntwinkie r/whoosh

@@homegrowntwinkie unless you are a Tenno apparently

You mean Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage?

DETECTIVE DETECTIVE SAVAGE "SAVAGE RAGE" RAGE

Benjamin Sedlacek but of course, I’m detective Rage San Diego P.D I’m on an investigation so I’m using my title not my full name, don’t worry about these guys they’re with me

"a murrrrrder? Thats Abserd !"

@@shanerooney7288 In the distance: I WARNED YOU

Timestamp? Watched the bugged version and didn't realize there was an audio bug.

Vaperius 2:50 in the bugged version the audio cut out

Cra-Z-Craft yes

I watched too

Lol i was wondering why he took it down halfway through while i was watching the first time

This one was close enough, let's be honest.

max out his luck stat

Erb of history

It's Detective Detective Savage "Savage Rage" Rage

@@Nukestarmaster dude thank you so much, don't know what I would have done with myself without being corrected on a minor detail in someone else's story that I clearly embellished on for humor.

I wonder to because most people wont do that at public games im guessing he was at a house game and he eas also new at the time so he might of needed to work out sertain aspects of roleplaying to be productive.

Markis Miller could just be the players he was with were dicks?

I mean i remember a starting 4e module had you facing a white dragon, baby of course but still. So it may have been a legit fight

@@insertname1667 hmm I dunno... Have you seen other puffin vids? Lol

Considering he believes in the class stereotypes, I'm guessing he was probably annoying enough that anyone would have.

That was one of the best stories I'd ever read! Did you read the full thing? My favorite was probably the door

genocat1200 cuz reasons, right? Wish I didn't have a reason to play as sorcerers...

Kind of how I am for Warlocks.... I just love them so much....

I'm a Gish. I'm also a power gamer. So the underpowered nature of a Gish build is offset by my attempts to be as powerful as possible. Hex-lock and Monk are my go to classes. With Eldritch knight a close 3rd. Although... recently I've been designing a tanky wizard. It is surprisingly hard to get heavy armor on a pure wizard (But I optimized one build for that). Instead it is better to go Paladin 1 / Wizard 19.

@@shanerooney7288 Cleric 1/ Wiz 19 (Forge or War get heavy armor at lvl 1; that actually means that, depending on your preference for Saves, you could also still start as Wizard, which might be easier to put into your backstory if you plan to go full wizard) might be better for a) more spells (Imagine a melee character that can simply BA Healing Word himself every round! And Guidance is OP out of combat) b) full spell progression Though if you are powergaming a gishy wizard, the Bladesinger from ScaG is probably your go-to class.

@@entropyzero5588 Cleric or Paladin can both get heavy armor. Paladin I'd have to start Paladin and transition to Wizard level 2, but I'm okay with that. I'd want to start Cleric level 1 anyway for the spell focus, which I can get as a Paladin also. My thinking is go variant human, LvL1 Paladin, with the feat "war caster". Thus both material and somatic components of my spells are dealt with immediately. Add heavy armor at level 1 and I'm looking a lot like a fighter (despite becoming a mage soon after) Thematically: I am a war mage. Yes, I will pick up the sub-class "war magic" (Xanathar's Guide to Everything) from my Wizardry. But the entire concept of the character, including the cleric/paladin level, is built around the idea that I've trained for war magic. P.S The tanky wizard build is my recent attempts to move _away from_ my traditional gish play style. More of a support caster with increased survivablity instead of my usual sword+spell damage dealing.

If someone knows you are there then that means you have failed your job. And that extends to your team mates. But the true rogue isn't aware that he is there himself

I was an honest rogue, until other players got suspicious that I was holding stuff back. From then on I openly kept the best treasure for myself if the characters could'nt see me and palmed stuff when they could. It enraged one player so much but he did not have a high enough sense motive to even tell when I lied to him with a grin.

You dont really need much. Maybe a Player's Handbook and some dice. You can find pretty much anything else online, from character sheets to monsters. Everything else is optional and will just depend on how much you want to spend. Minis arent required, terrain isnt required, even battle mats arent required and you can play theater of the mind style. I personally started with nothing but a PHP, dice, a battle mat that I made out of game paper, and various snacks that were used as enemies.

Treespirit the D&D starter set has an instructional guide that should cover the basics, next I would recommend the Dungeon Master’s Guide and the Player’s Handbook.

I recommend playing with the adventures league or your friends first, just to get a feel for how the game works. Then use what experience you have to make it suitable for your audience. Good luck!

Then they get alzheimer's and really think there wizards, one day you go down the town and they are there in cardboard helmets and bathrobes on the campaign fighting a vampire lord. Bitbinnreality they are bearing the shit into an emo goth kid. This isn't that likely to happen in any way, shape or form but the thought occurred to me and I thought it was funny af so I had to type it

That's actually a pretty good idea, but if you don't have any experience at all then trying to DM newbies will just lead to frustration. I'd second Dario Walter's suggestion of joining some adventurer's league sessions first, all you need is the player's handbook and some dice. You can find your nearest public event at locator.wizards.com/#brand=dnd Once you have some experience as a player, I'd volunteer as a DM for adventurer's league before you try it w/ senior citizens, that way you have some experience dealing with new (but motivated) players, and likely there will be at least one player at your table who has enough experience to help out somewhat. I'm not trying to discourage you, since that is actually a pretty good idea, but jumping into it with no experience is likely a recipe for disaster. After that, look up your local community senior center (sometimes called a senior activity center) or form a group at the local library. Don't try to work through nursing homes/assisted living homes at first, since at that point most of the residents will likely have enough difficulties that D&D won't really be fun (too many rules to remember, too much math, too much manual dexterity required). What you should be looking for is a community center that provides activities for seniors, which most towns have.

@Manannan anam That'd be his 'defensive stance.'