Takeshi's Challenge - JonTron 

Dear Jon, Lol, you actually beat that shit? -Takeshi Kitano

One of the endings is this: "You actually bothered to finish this crappy game? Sucker. Don't take it so seriously."

So… who’s gonna tell Jon… close to a decade later… that tequila restores hearts and that he probably didn’t have to burn two years into ashes to get through this game?

My sister just started playing the Yakuza games, and told her that Takeshi Kitano was on Yakuza 6. When she asked me who he is, I showed her this video. Then we both realized that this game has karaoke, yakuzas and random fights, and an open world. Maybe Takeshi Kitano was a visionary who created the future of the Yakuza franchise? Who knows!

For any of you wondering: Jon said at a con panel that he never heard back from Takeshi, but that was because he forgot to put a return address on the envelope.

Fun fact: Part of this game was conceived when Takeshi was drunk.

Random fact: The "Grilled Mormons" sign is in the official Japanese version of the game. It's a pun, because in Japan there are restaurants that serve pork and beef on special grills, called "Horumon"; but as a joke, the game put the word "Morumon" (the Japanese word for "Mormon") on the sign.

This man created an open world game on the NES. What an absolute mad-lad

This game is regarded as one of the worst games out there, but the fact that its an extremely cryptic and difficult game about a normal man with an 'eh' life, quitting his job that's probably already failing judging by that line graph, getting beaten by his wife and later divorcing her, gambling his money, getting through a shitty neighborhood filled with gangsters, and to get through the game you have to do shit you've probably never thought of, shit no one ever told you. And you can die so easily if you mess up, you can die by fucking alcohol poisoning! And he just says fuck it and actually does something he actually fucking wants to like adventuring! Of course its so fucking difficult and cryptic. Its life, its... Its fucking beautiful, man.

So when you win the game, does that mean you Beat Takeshi?

3:47 Duderonomy clearly states that Mormons should not be grilled, they need to be deep fried and seasoned with 11 herbs and spices

As a Japanese person who sees him on Japanese tv at least once a week, I can confirm every detail in this video.

Neat fact: There's a boss enemy in the game Yakuza 6 named Toru Hirose and portrayed by Beat Takeshi himself. And you get to beat him. Beat Beat Takeshi.

Fun fact- The old man that gives you the map? You don't _have_ to beat him up. You can go through the majority of the game without having to beat him up. And then, when you find the treasure at the end, he kills you and takes the treasure for himself. Game Over. :3

Arin Hanson: tries to learn Japanese for the entire span of the show Jon:

The fact that Jon became so angry at that game, that he learned how to speak japanese just to complain about it is fucking ridiculous.

"i started this review in 2012'' JonTron 2014

"Why would I escape real life, by playing a game that's more depressing than real life?" That's it. That's the joke. In true Beat Takeshi fashion.

I love how this is *easily* the most advanced game of it's time, but no one will know with how hard it is

Takeshi Kitano made this game so hard because he hates technology and wanted to punish the people who bought the game. True story.

This game took so long to complete that Jon Tron learned japanese

Two years later Beat Takeshi would become involved in a game for the first time in 30 years, that being Yakuza 6. That said it's kinda ironic that Takeshi's Challenge is eerily similar to what would become the Yakuza games, from the free roaming street brawls, minigames such as karaoke and pachinko, emphasis on realistic themes, and a hint of comedy.

20th century priests: _May the power of Christ compels you!_ 21st century priest 5:27

Fun fact: if you stick around in the ending long enough after "Amazing!", you'll get another message: _"Why're ya taking this game so seriously?"_ Imagine the resulting *nervous Chernobyl* if JonTron did.

This game had a TON of curses, and pretty savage for a nintendo licensed game. The fact that the Karaoke owner tells you "That was shit, get out of here." is just but one of the many hidden gems

Man this guys content is timeless

8 Years later I have to genuinely admit that this is one of my favorite episodes of 'old' JonTron

I pity the pour soul who spent hours of his or her life trying to figure out how to beat this game.

Grilled Mormons? That's horrible. Do you know how many carbs are in a Mormon?

honestly despite it being so hard it really was ahead of its times, its so unique and so well made i am actually shocked

For me, this was Jon's absolute best time, best style, best type of content. I do enjoy his newer content, but I'd really love to see him do video game related content again.

**Things JonTron didn't cover** • Punching 20,000 times on the title screen will warp you to the treasure room. (I'm not sure whether the old man kills you.) • "horumon" is a common Japanese dish made from offal. As a childish pun, they changed it to "morumon", which the sign literally translates as GRILLED MORMON. It's equivalent to saying "freshly-squeezed Jews" in English. • Whenever you die from damage and fall down, you can press A+B simultaneously and repeatedly to revive on the spot. This of course will not help you in the goddamn hang glider section. • Pressing Down+A simultaneously on the 2nd controller switches it to Don't Have To Fucking Sing Mode. You can then just press A on the 2nd controller to emulate a yell into the microphone. Tapping it in proper rhythm with the song will also pass the karaoke potion. • You can talk to the skeletons as though they were any other NPC.

You have. One shot. At this flying segment. You get hit once. You're dead. Game, Over! His palms are sweaty, knees weak, beat Takeshi, Japanese spaghetti. PWAO!

I swear the entirety of 2020 is Teakashi's challenge irl... We're going to finish this year and in the sky we will just see the phrase "Amazing" with his pixelated face.

My god 7 years since this gem !! Damn time flies ....

God this is almost 10 years old!

his palms are sweaty knees weak beat Takeshi Japanese spaghetti

The reason it took him since 2012 to finish this wasn't the game difficulty; it was trying to memorize the Japanese part. Very well done, Jon-Tron-san.

God knowing i watched this 7 years ago as well is such a fucking weird feeling, I'm a different person then who watched this originally, I've changed so much from a kid in school to a boring adult who pays his bills amd eats the same thing every day, humours still the same though *"i think there has to be a game for it to be over"* still fucking kills me and its not even close to the best joke in the episode. I miss these times man. I know I'm not the only one who watches these and reminiscences this hard either haha

1:34 What a godly scream

Fun Fact: You can beat this game by pressing "A" 20,000 times on the title screen.

I'm surprised that no one mentioned this, but if you throw 3720 punches on the title screen, you go directly to the end. To quote Jon, it's beautiful.

3:42 At Japanese Yakiniku restaurants, the internal organs are called "hormones". But to write it as "Mormons" ... This translator is too cramped.

Anyone else missed jontron reviewing games

4:22 is an old Japanese joke, in Romanji it translates as ""Okaerinasai, anata! Gohan wo taberu? Ofuro ni suru? Soretomo, wa. ta. shi?". It's something a newlywed wife would say to her husband when he comes home from work. In English, it means "Welcome home, dear! Would you like dinner? A bath? Or perhaps...me?".

is everyone completely ignoring the fact that jon tron was speaking in fucking japanese!?!?!

2:28 is actually really funny if you look at how he was inspired by avgn, instead of getting frustrated about the cables being short or moving the tv jon just said fuck it and grabs the console

How the actual HELL was this 9 years ago. Damn I feel old.

Not sure about you, but I prefer pickled Protestants. Grilled Mormons are alright, though. Better than cooked Witnesses.

Technically.... using this game to interrogate terrorists wouldn't be against any international law.... right?

Takeshi’s Challenge walked so that pain inducing games such as Lisa the Painful or Fear and Hunger could run.

2012-2015 was the golden era for this man.

I've tried Mormon. It's gamey.

He said Hell probably looks like Takeshi’s Challenge, but there’s a difference. Hell is the end of the line, no going back. In Takeshi’s challenge, you can achieve victory if you have near superhuman persistence. Takeshi’s Challenge isn’t Hell, it’s Purgatory.

I also loved how when he said he didn’t like goblins he looked like a goblin

I like that the Broble reads from back to front like manga.

I’m amazed how people don’t reference “Better Check the Broble, make sure thas ok...”

1: Takeshi made this because he hated gamers. I'm not making this up. 2: After the "amazing" text box at the end, the game actually mocks you for working so hard to finish it and tells you not to take it too seriously... I call that being an a**hole. LATE EDIT : People have been (rightfully) asking me for my sources and I will admit that the only ones I had came from the French channel « Joueur du Grenier » (Gamer from the attic) who reviewed the game, mentioned these rumors and to him, the way the game is designed (and that ending screen) are proof that it was true… and I can buy that.

What Jon never knew: if you spam A and B when dying it resurrects you.

In retrospect Jon’s writing is god tier in these vids

When I die, I will be immensely dissapointed if I don't have to stare at a screen with a badly pixelated Takeshi in the corner after seeing the words "well done" for all eternity

The most disturbing part of this game is not that he beats his wife and children to death. It's that he does so with a smile on his face.

"Let's Beat Takeshi at his own game" How am I just NOW noticing this pun?!

8 years old and I keep coming back to it, classic JonTron.

I have recently purchased Takeshi's Challenge. I will reply when I beat it.

This game sounds like it would make a decent movie.

"Why would I play a game that's more depressing than real life? Should I feel better by comparison?" - JonTron 2014, about the Last of Us 2.

"Di sicuro avrete visto tutti il video di JonTron" nope, ma recupero subito

I wonder how the Angry Video Game Nerd would feel if he reviewed this game.

Why is nobody talking about how he spent 2 entire years to beat this game.

I’ve come back to rewatch and re-experience the beauty that is JonTron and this Challenge!!!!!

Three decades after _Takeshi's Challenge,_ Takeshi would star in _Yakuza 6._

Grilled Mormons? this game predicted Joshua Graham.

here's the real question... did he ever write back?

The fact that he says he started this in 2012 gets funnier every year that passes cause his videos are timeless

These videos are rewatchable. A sign of good film/video making.

Takeshi's response "Dear American piggu" "Get gud"

Honestly this game seems more like an art piece instead of a video game. This game was definitely years ahead in terms of experimentation.

First jontron vid I ever saw, a true hood classic!

"Combating worldwide plagues" Jon sees all

The "Grilled Mormons" bit killed me for some reason! I literally spit out my dinner laughing. The best part of this story is my grandma made smothered pork chops for dinner and I said to her "Did you make this out of grilled Mormons?" My Grandma, not the funniest woman in the world mind you which is why this is so great, without missing a beat says "No they was out of Mormons at the store so I substituted with Jehovah's Witnesses instead." I then proceeded to LAUGH FOR 3 mins straight! Good work, Jon, good work. One question though: Why does it say continue on the first screen if you can't do that?

This game actually sounds like it would be fun if it were to be remastered

Ohhhhh, the old intro is bringing my WHOLE childhood back to me 😭

i miss this intro. it was awesome!

Takeshi. Beats his boss Beats his wife Doesn't give said wife alimony Beats old people Beats his kids Beats password people Beats the skeletal remains of someone's loved ones Eats MormonsPlays the Shamisen Apparently shoots random South Pacific women Randomly punches the air 30,720 times All with a smile What a guy.

"If you wanna know how hard this is, I started this review in 2012." Jesus!

0:40 "combating worldwide plagues" 2022: nervous laughter

I like how all the top comments on this are real recent

Jon deserves an award for beating this game. I'll give him uh... 12 cents and a sunflower seed.

Knees week, palms are sweaty, Beat Takeshi

13:10 He went Stewie from Family Guy for a few moments.

"I don't like goblins! *strange scream*" gets me everytime-

Why do you need to divorce your wife, take Shamisen lessons and buy a Shamisen? They're never used.

10:11 "Quit your job" (jon quits gamegrumps) "divorce your wife" (Jon leaves Arin) "and go treasure hunting" (Jon going to NY) "tenattaten" ILLUMINATI

That suit montage/power-up sequence was an instant like.

Jon’s been playing since 2012, geez, 9 years

I wonder if Jon knows that Takeshi HATED video games and this was his way of making fun of them?!

Jon: ew ew i dont like goblins AaAa- Also jon: GRIMBO COME BACK TO ME.

"combating worldwide plague" yes also pretty great game i guess.

this is honestly a comfort video for me idk why.