There's a woman who was on 60 minutes Australia, who was repeatedly assaulted by father over many years. She had over 2000 personalities helping her get through. She completed education & extradited father from UK & got him put away for the remainder of his life. The assaults were so violent she sustained internal injuries. The fact is, parents are often not suitable. Many struggle because of what was behind closed doors. And yes, psychological verbal & emotional abuse & deprivation causes these phenomena. There was little to no mention of the mother's absence/indifference/ignorance in the child's life. But if this man was this violent, i daresay the mother was herself terrified. What people have endured is sometimes so horrific it's a miracle to just survive. Hell is for children...children often exist in a hell made by the very people who are there to care for them. The numbers of people who have survived all sorts is way higher than what anyone realises. Be as kind to yourself as possible. You are a miracle just to have survived.
I feel that it's rare these days to see somebody here on RU-vid say that it's not different people living inside of you, it's different parts that are more defined and separate than other people have. For me, I describe it like an ice cube tray. If you think of the self as a bowl of water, then I suppose you could think of me like an ice cube tray. Silly, I know, but so far it's the best way I can describe it.
Such a good presenter, Carolyn. Clear, concise, informative, direct. Good to see you out there on videos like this now. All the best with your work. It helps so many to feel validated, understood.
my doctor took a year off to study IFS to work with me and another client - We only did work for a few years before he died last year, but the system of acceptance of the other parts and 'unburdening' and then discovering the skills under the prior coping mechinisms. Many people are suprised how much healing has been done in a short period of time, and because my doctor died and no one else in the city does that work - i am able to come extent host the session healing my self when something comes up. i have a fairly large system and things are pretty smooth. i have followed some process of other professionals on line using IFS and it is not quite the same, sadly. The process that my doctor and i did was complete compassion and acceptance always - and to earn trust .
Well a couple parts of me wants to kill those that abused me, and those that abused my son. These people starting abusing me when I was fairly young...I'm 41 now and they're still abusing people. Something needs to be done. I think they thought I wouldn't remember.....well I'm sure I don't remember all of the abuse but I do remember some. Well I've been praying to find out the truth so I can move forward, be careful what you pray for. God Bless
I often do this to myself. I literally say no that couldn't have been my life it couldn't have happened to me. Over 30 years I've struggled with this and I still don't believe myself.
You explained DID so well at the beginning of this video. I have a 5 year old daughter, and I completely see that she has different parts that would seperate if she faced trauma. She has completely different personality traits and preferences/interests when she’s at school, vs when she’s with dad, vs when she’s with a friend vs when she’s with me.
Children at that age do not have a cohesive personality yet. It is believed that children's personalities fully develop by age 9. So your 5-year old child showing these is completely normal! That is, unless you suspect that they are undergoing trauma and stress. If so, please do something about it. But do not believe that something is wrong if they simply show different facets, or ego states! Because they are still developing, and it's supposed to do that!
I agree with Zachary. Children behave differently with different people. The only time you need to be concerned, is if you suspect severe abuse, then you need to report it, and get immediate support for the child.
That's almost exactly what you should expect to see at that age. The creation and development of the human psyche is one of the most interesting and amazing things I know of. Our brains are very much like computer processors. Up to about 7 yrs old they are in a programming state and kids just imitating everything so that they will hopefully emulate once they are adults. Amazing. Technically, we all constantly dissociate. You would act, react and even adjust your ego between talking to ur neighbor, you're daughter, or your favorite music artist for example. You sound like a sensible parent. I have to say something tho..to everyone. DID is not what many people on RU-vid make it out to be. I get very offended a lot but do my best to just positive/negative worth. When a original fracture happens the kid is actually being protected from dissociation state and they would likely not recall the experience. Its usually later on that the mind starts to pay for the cost of the bodies safety mechanism during trauma. For anyone who is concerned about their kid possiblely being abused, the only gauranteed protection is the parents. Be vigilant. Protect them like they were the most important thing in the world until they are late teens cuz DID is really really bad but it's not the only disorder that can wreck a human so keep that in mind.
I dint knuw whst y do I’m getting kicked out if my treatment place in nz they dint knuw how treat D I D. I formally diagnosed WOTH it I love it battle it everyday I dint knuw what to do your stuff makes so much sense can you help me any advice for New Zealand all experts. Seen overseas
i started suspecting that i have DID in 6th grade (now i’m in 11th grade) and after a ton more research i started to suspect it more but i’m not sure how to bring that up to my therapist, how should i go about that?
I’m a bit thrown by the “reification of alters”. First I checked the definition of the term reification. So you believe alters/parts are abstract concepts? Not sure if you can answer, but if you can, thanks😊
Everything is free here. That being said it is extremely unlikely that they would see a psychotherapist unless they were in desperate need of that as the mental health services are shit.
I know you said it 'feels" like different people from the inside, and it certainly does, but the rhetoric that we aren't different people contrasts a lot of the research and validating practitioners we have interacted with. I (researcher, educator, and advocator within a large system) would argue that we are entirely different people, we have our own bedrooms, thoughts, feelings, experiences, perceptions of the world, etc, etc. Current research disagrees with the rhetoric of "just parts of the same person," although every system is different and this very well may be the case for some systems! This video popped up on the suggested page, although we're now seeing it's from 2018 so perhaps your understanding has changed and evolved since then :)
Not in a way that you could say, "Today we were working with IFS", but elements of it were incorporated into what we did. I've got a lot of respect for Dick Schwartz's work and a lot of it is a good fit for DID. People like Janina Fisher do a kind of blend of IFS and other therapies such as Pat Ogden's Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
See... I didn't even watch ur video I arbitrarily clicked on it but ur the kind of help I'm looking for. Do you have a different website now? Do u still help with trauma? I'm sorry if I seemed aggressive or rude before. I think I am done for the night
Give yourself Grace. Whenever we are Triggered our parts try to Protect us. Sometimes that involves intense emotions and overreactions and that's okay.
@@shatteredbones1048 That's good advice. You yourself are very grateful. Especially for someone with trauma. I watched your video about kindness and am letting some of your points continue to bounce around in my head as long as they can. I'll be okay, now that I have found out what has been going on with me. I was mostly afraid of what I'm capable of but I think I'm learning to control it. Self acceptance is something I've not used before. I experienced some bad things but it's not my fault. It's okay.
This implies the trauma has to be severe as others would see it. It is not. It ss experiences that the child finds terrifying, confusing etc. Often it is terrible things but could be ongoing neglect. Suggesting it has to be very severe invalidates sufferers who had less extreme eoeri3nces and could stop th getting a diagnosis. Trauma is subjective and a child is disturbed by things an adult wouldn't necessarily be. No.... not funny to joke about the ticket. No way I'd go to this patronising woman.
I don't believe she was being patronising. But I do agree that spreading the message dissociative disorders are only caused by objectively horrific childhood abuse is both incorrect, and like you say, invalidating to people where that's not been the cause. I think CS is an incredible person and educator and the work she does is so needed for the trauma community. I've learned so much listening to her. But, the issue I take with other messages in this video and others, is that you a) must remember the trauma to b) solve it to then resolve your problems. Well I don't remember alot of my trauma. And what I do remember doesn't make sense to me as being enough to have caused my DD. So, that logic doesn't work in my case, and others, and implies the trauma has to be remembered for the therapy to work. As we know from other key educators, this isn't the case. If CS can just add these bits of knowledge to her repertoire of education (which is very attached to her own experience), it would be wonderful! Having said that, I do get alot from watching most of what she has to say and am thank ful it's for free
