TCAV TV: Anger - Story 61 

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Ephesians 4:26

Anger is like hitting yourself to hurt someone else.

Anger has almost cost me my career and my marriage.... Such a powerful emotion that builds in my chest and creeps out on me when I least expect it. Takes a day or two to settle down, then the guilt that follows is 2x as powerful. I feel ya Tcav.

James Hetfield of Metallica got it right when he called anger the “Harvester of Sorrow.” “My life suffocates; planting the seeds of hate. My love turned to hate; trapped far beyond my fate.” (One of my favorite songs for the gym!) Strong message TCAV.

You called it word by word hands down. I feel hurt I hide it with anger…keeps em back. I loathe looking vulnerable and weak , because it makes me a target. It’s a helluva thing.

“A powerful tool is often dangerous” damn

You amaze me, Taylor, in terms of how self-aware you are! I am a retired health care chaplain. Most professional health care chaplains go through training to become more self-aware. It is vital to "know thyself" if you want to be able to help others. Now, of course, none of us are ever going to know who we really are at the most intimate level. It is an ability, a skill in a sense, that must be learned and practiced for one's entire lifetime. You are on the right track, my friend.

Great message TCav. Anger can be your Achilles heel in life, especially when it’s amplified with booze. One really needs to tame it early to avoid life changing consequences. God bless 🇺🇸🦅🙏

Such a great topic choice - and I hope it's one you talk about at least semi regularly. Anger and rage are my Achilles heel. I recently heard a Buddhist monk say "we won't be punished for our anger, we'll be punished by our anger." So dang true.

The message is clear. We don't always have time, but cutting time with anger makes time wasting, bringing alongside hurt. Self reconnaissance is truly the mark of an adult being respectful to others.

Oh, the big topic! Its a daily battle during these times we live in. Learning to channel it into a positive action or creativity or helping someone else, leads to enlightenment for me. Thanks Taylor.❤

Anger also leaves you open to being exploited by emotionless evil psychopaths. Plenty of them around. Stay frosty mate - keep on keeping on. 👊

On a serious note. Patrick Bet David’s two books Your next 5 moves and Choose your enemies wisely are the greatest self development books I’ve ever read. Still reading both simultaneously as we speak. Covers exactly what you’re talking about.

Anger is a manifestation of hurt, look inside at why you are really angry, anger is natural but if you identify why you are hurt you can start to control the cycle, it takes practice, I am in my mid 50's, wish I had had this insight in my 20's lol... "Fair Winds and Following Seas" TCAV from a fellow old salty squid...

"Unbroken" (the book is better than the movie as the movie only covers half the story). The story of the greatest act of redemption and forgiveness I have ever read. I don't think I could have forgiven my enemies in the manner Louis Zamperini did. When someone crosses me I take it exceptionally personally and it is hard to get by, but I am getting there. Anger and revenge only destroy you. The best revenge is a well-lived self-disciplined life.

Sir , such respect for you and your path to help people. Cheers from Québec , Canada , a 21 year vet in the Canadian army 👍

Crushed fists vs a tree, dislocated shoulder vs my truck…I found over time that if you don’t find a way to diffuse it, it’ll literally destroy you. Talking about it just makes me relive it, so now, I just grab the genie and stuff it back into the bottle, and breath counting to 20 so that it passes like clouds overhead.

Strategic Silence...one never needs to explain or apologize for something that was never said in the first place.

Definitely have had to learn this the hard way. Glad I found you on another podcast. Awesome stories and life experiences and I've been happy to share your word with others. Take it easy brother.

🌄 morning coffee ☕️ and story 61. Perfect start to the week. Different tone in your voice this morning. Deep message to be had here. Stay safe.

Needed this today. Fuck this video landed on my youtube feed at the right moment. I needed to hear another man speak about his anger as I am trying to be honest and navigate my response to my own anger. challenging times right now for many men right now, I am not alone but some days it sure feels that way. I watched this and walk away feeling a bit more centered. I appreciate your honesty and authenticity.

You’re on the money. Battled it my whole life. Thanks for what you do.

Bro, I respect the way you allow yourself to be vulnerable to your viewers. This was such a great message about self reflection and thinking through our actions before we act. Much love and respect coming your way. I encourage you to read the fruits of the spirit of God. Peace!

It hurts so bad to hurt someone you love. Growing sometimes means keeping it out of your mind to let in forgiveness and gentlesness towards your own messed up ways, so it doesnt cycle and ruminate anddestroy you.

Self sabotage is my biggest issue I'm still dealing with and does come from anger. I Am more observant and can notice I'm vearing off Path. Thank you for your videos! Self awareness is needed to keep a clear mind!

I needed to hear that this morning. Stopped me from doing something that would have given me immediate satisfaction but not the best option in the long run.

Another great message Taylor, keep them coming. This one was deep and anger is hard. Thanks again Brother!

This really speaks to me, Taylor, thank you for being so candid. When you said that the anger is "stone cold sober" I was like, "Yeah, he gets it." And you hit the nail on the head when you said that anger was a reaction to a threat, even a perceived threat that may not even be real, and is especially set off by disrespect. I know exactly what you mean. It must be the Irish.

Anger. Rage. Tunnel vision. Breaking shit that doesn’t need go be broken. Regret. Self hatred.

Sometimes people attack us or hurt us and cause anger. The key is how to react and respond when it happens because we all deal with it in life. I had some people at work and coworkers who screwed me over and try to get me fired even lying but I was able to resolve everything through Human Resources and won. Nobody ever apologized and I had a lot of broken relationships from people who I thought were friends at least at work. I agree it’s all about maintaining composure, effective communication and strategic thinking. Don’t let anger cloud your judgement it can make things worse. We’re all wrong and make mistakes sometimes. Own it and learn from it. 💪

Again great words that make great sense.

Great intel Taylor....Keep it up...This is GOLD....1904

I have nothing but respect for you, brother. You've helped me a lot over the last 4 months. This topic really hit home with me.

Tipping my hat to you brother, because you're being HONEST about anger. I too-- have anger issues, but that's because I don't have a high b.s. level either. WE HAVE ALL failed along the way emotionally. As you said, you gotta channel it positively. Stay positive, and continue to Aim High. I served too in the Service (Retired). We all on the same team, we gotta set positive examples, for the younger generation, they looking at us older folks. We older dogs, and been down the trail, ahead of the young pups. May God continue to bless you in your daily actions. Jim from MS

From the heart. (You speak.) Respect Cav. I have that anger, I have that other dark passenger too. You’re talking sense to those of us who hear.

I’ve always struggled with this anger for a long time too

My man…layin down another good one today….Im comin on here as testament that this guy….he’s doin good work people….you need to get on this train. He’s got your back…believe me. 🙏🏼🤙🏼🇺🇸

Ha, ha..."If you disrespect...or if I take it as disrespect..." I hear ya, Taylor.

I used to suffer with anger when i was a young man. Seriously dangerous venom we have inside us. The military taught me how to control and channel it, all emotions can be used for good, even anger... You just got to own that beast and not let it own you. Not always easy, and sometimes we deplete our energy and it can unshackle that beast. Rage, now rage on the other hand is something i find hard to control, comes out of nowhere and comes over so fast. Often without a trigger or warning, i can now see its happening and fight it, but thats only because i now know what happens if i don't, and it isnt pretty. Everyday is a learning day, and no two days are the same. We win some we loose some. Fail forward. Out.

GREAT video, Taylor. this one was deep. Please keep them coming, with quite a few more like this. It was really inspiring to me. 👍💯 God Bless You.

I hit a hard brick wall the other day and everything is upside down. I could be angry but I'll just drive on. Thanks for the solid advice.

Another insightful and frank video with a great message TCav - thank you. Your energy seems to be different for this one and whatever has happened has thrown you off balance slightly. You’ll square it away. No doubt

Thank you for the video. Almost got a fight and probably would have ruined my life. This is just I needed to hear

Man, what a powerful message. I had anger issues that I wasn’t even aware of - or didn’t see it as a problem. It was brought to a head when I had kids, and my wife had to sit me down for a chat. Since then I’ve been dealing with it slowly, through the discovery of Musashi and the Dokodo and Book of Five Rings, but also Stoicism has helped a lot. It’s taken years, and will be an ongoing battle, but I can at least control and sometimes divert it before it gathers steam. Good luck to all who have to deal with this, but it is definitely worth it. Fight on brothers!

Thank you Sir and going through at 27 yr marriage Divorce..You words help alot 🙏🏻

The only solution i found for myself is keep away from situation & people who could trigger me, i spend time around dogs & small internal circle of people who knows me & love me for what i am to them, sometimes it makes me feel isolated but it's best since spending time alone makes me think about myself & people dear to me, i too have a venomous mouth & have no control on it when it's lose, it hurts me latter thinking about it & mess up my internal peace.

I respect your temple, and your conscience here TCAV. I see you owning something here . I believe Anger is a tool. You lose control and it burns you. But even Jesus drove the tax collectors out with the bull whip! Theres a time and place..In my opinion, Men need to still have that fire in the belly. But we need to channel it to where we are surgical , like CQB (wink, wink). Not trying to preach. Just my truth. Love you my man, theres only 1 TCAV!

It took me years to learn how to keep the anger genie back in his bottle Even longer to learn how to keep him in there in the first place You just described me in this piece These are brilliant I can’t believe we are at story 61 keep them coming TC

Love you man, thanks for posting as often as you do. Hope you're hangin in there okay. Anger has been an issue my whole life, in the real world, in the marines, and then in prison. Losing emotional control and getting angry has contributed to every single significant negative life event I've had. Ex fiance left me over it. Parents stopped communicating with me (understandably) over it. Burned all the bridges with my friends. Etc.. I have successfully killed my community through anger, and in the process destroyed most of myself. It it as poisonous as alcohol imo. I encourage you young folk to seriously take a look at what makes you angry if it's something you struggle with. Don't let it override the important things in life. Much love.

🙏roger that Taylor right there with you man. Self reflection and a journal is a must for me on the rise.

That is a tough emotion to control. I struggle with that one too. Couple things that may be relevant might help. First, If someone can anger you they can control you. So there are people that will push your buttons to anger you and once you are angry and lash out then they will play the victim or point to you and then others who have no idea what went on before get to see your anger and get the wrong impression about you. Secondly, the thing that makes you a part of the warrior caste is in most cases being a psychopath. If that is the case then you are one in a million that don't want to be that way in your personal relationships and you have developed self introspection. Everyone struggles with anger. Anyone that says they do not is not self introspective and probably passive aggressive. If it involves a woman well all we can do is either get away from her or gut it. There is no reasoning with them and don't make the mistake of using logic to explain how they are wrong. If you do that then you are really in trouble. Thanks for your podcasts you are helping a lot of people just by being genuine and sharing your feelings about life.

Spot on ! I will add Emotions cloud judgement and Emotions cloud logic ! 👍

An interesting subject or talk might be the subject of alcohol. Both my husband and myself were raised Christian fundamentalist. Neither of us ever had a drop into we were in our twenties. In recent years, we've begun having a few drinks once of maybe twice a week. Believe it or not, it has helped both of our mental health tremendously. Humans, especially Europeans, which we mostly are, evolved with alcohol. Temperance is key, though. You once said you still drink maybe once every few months in a socially enriching environment. I think that is a healthy stance on alcohol. The Bible does not forbid drinking: it forbids alcoholism. Anyways, thank you Taylor so much for the energy you put towards helping people. You've helped me and my hubby more than you probably know. You've encouraged us to both cut the BS, and prioritize our mental and physical health. You've encouraged us to stop making excuses. God bless you Sir 🇺🇸

"Not everything needs to be communicated." Astute observation. We Americans definitely need to do better with this one.

I really feel ya on this one. Anger is my biggest weakness, that I fight often. Keep up the great work brother. 🤙🏻

Powerful ! 👊🇬🇧

This is huge, thank you for sharing your perspective. Anger can be harnessed in many ways, unfortunately, if this is day to day (even in the field) it can lead down a path which is not the best angle. Being able to recognize is on point. Thanks again. SFi

Great message. 🙏

Interesting timing in my life for this video to drop. Just yesterday I was experiencing anger all throughout the day.

Once again your honesty will help many, honestly me, I take medication daily it's for anxiety, but for me it controls my anger issues, I'm not a very good person to be around when I'm not taking it.. I have excepted the fact I need it.. I'm much more happy with myself.

You swallow it until you can let it dissipare so what you want to say is levelheaded.

Try box breathing, breath through your nose and hold for 4 sec and exhale through the mouth. Repeat a needed. It helps me

I recently came across your channel, actually about 3hours ago 😊 the vids I've seen so far really resonate with me, your story was a reminder to me of how tenacious I used to be , I used to be able to get back up when life knocked me down but eventually ground down so many times I stopped getting back up but I have a lot to be grateful for. I'm enjoying your content , what made me want to post a comment was two things you've mentioned a lot in this video EGO & ANGER . When it comes to ego I read this somewhere that helped me shift my perspective on it and made it easier to keep in check and it was this EGO - Edge God Out . I take that to mean you lose that connection to the creator of all things even for a split second it has the potential to change the trajectory of your life as you well know ...Edge God Out. Also when I learned about the part of the brain called the amygdala - basics of it is everything coming in from your 5senses is dealt with via the amygdala and it can be 'hi-jacked' when it's overwhelmed and you can act before you've thought it through, that age old saying "count to ten" is not just a saying , it literally gives your amygdala a little bit more time to process all the incoming information and gives you a better chance to act appropriately. There's a book called 'Emotional Intelligence ' by Daniel Goleman. Your inspiring me to start getting back up and keep visualising how I want my life to be , its good to hear my thought processes coming from someone else except unlike me you actively go for it .

Awesome video as always...related to anger something that you have mentioned in one of the interviews you have been on is on bitterness and resentment... you said that if you are holding on to it it will drag you 💯

Currently going through a Dark time. And this Video helped.

Right there with you, Brother! REALLY appreciate you sharing your knowledge, perspective and experience on these issues. You've done me a HELLUVA lot of good through these videos and I'm incredibly appreciative of you for your time and effort in sharing your story and helping the rest of us get 'on the path.' Anger is a tough one for me sometimes because it can feel so intoxicatingly powerful in the moment, but it's illusory and blinds us from seeing the most prudent way forward. Much love, TC!!

I see red to much with these videos iv been working on myself that dark passenger man he's a real prick!!! Keep your program going Taylor you have helped me so much no words.

I think you said it anger crushes you karmically. That low vibration comes back around.

“ I am you, you are me and we are us.”

Thanks so much for your honesty!!!! Very well said!!! Accepting / analyzing weaknesses is the first step to turning them into strengths . We have all our issues, no one is immune! Myself have deal with anger issues too, interestingly my are coming usually after a very peaceful and relaxing period of time…like a wake up call that things just not that peaceful at all, as they seem to be …… my answer / solution to this: I’m trying to find challenges out of my comfort zone 👍

Hey T, if you have the ability or desire, can you talk about those certain concentrated instances when anger is the necessary tool in the toolbox to accomplish something meaningful? As we grow we recognize why we need to control our anger. But reflecting on the past reveals instances when a flash of anger as part of the full range of human emotion has been a necessary ingredient to success. We can take the military out of it and just talk about maybe a play in football, or an at bat in baseball, or an instance when someone has bullied a friend. To be a man is to know that full range of human emotion and to control it- perhaps use it when absolutely necessary and no more- then restraint. Because I believe the person who has never had to explore anger and control it, built that restraint muscle to be nice and strong, then exercise love and compassion as well… I think a complete man knows all sides of those things intimately well. Many thanks to you being you, brother. The world needs it.

With you Brutha - none of us is perfect, and the work to overcome ourselves is never-ending. Semper Fi

Very interesting topic.....I was in the military as well, and when I got out I had an anger problem. Ffwd 20 years later and I still had an anger problem. The blinding red rage type of anger at times, that makes you feel depleted afterwards. I kept thinking about why, and thinking about why am I so angry. What happened in my life that made me so angry? After years of thinking about it like this, I came to the conclusion that that question is bullshit. I changed the way that I look at anger. Here is my take on it and it helped me control it. Everyone has the capacity to be angry and rage but it is about how it is not controlled that makes it grow a little bit every time you give into the anger. Since anger is only an emotion, we as humans should be able to control our emotions. So I started looking at it like this. It took me about a year to get my anger totally under control. Someone cuts me off in traffic....whatever...I find now that the more I recognize the rise in anger and not let it come to the surface, the more it subsides.

Anger always comes out from the ego. At least you are aware of this fact. Rooting for you tcav

Thank you for this. My counsellor said anger serves 2 purposes, to defend yourself or set boundaries.

One of the more courageous videos brother. I hope whatever was said is fixable. 🦁💪

may all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering... much respect Sir

If you feel unsettled, walk away for a few minutes.

No body is perfect Don’t sweat it

Thank you for creating this video!

Thanks for sharing.👍

Thank you, Brother. Bottom line anger hurt me in the end. Had to learn to control it.

I think this is pretty cool. Why? Because we all deal with anger. Some better than others. The emotional intelligence you have to recognize the root cause/trigger of your anger even sometimes after the fact is a huge leg up. Most dudes don’t get this deep on it and explore things like ego/self. But that’s why we are here Bro! They rather live angry. There’s a surge of energy in the moment. It’s like riding the lightning. It sounds weird but I was real angry for about a decade. Then I realized that all my “problems” (I call them opportunities now) or victories come from within. Sometimes I have to pause and remember that. Some old ways die hard.

Anger, fear, resentment, this can get us into fight or flight mode and being able to practice emotional intelligence is almost impossible. All we can do is try to practice inducing the parasympathetic nervous system when stress is middle of the road so that when it high points and sympathetic nervous system is triggered, we’re able to act out of habit. When emotion goes up logic goes down, so it has to be automatic.

Great message. Needed that one!

For me I have control over anger. I have learned that the dead can influence your emotions and even your dreams. Like if I'm in a nightmare and I notice details in the walls In a place I have never been at then I know the dead are messing with me. I know a lady merger with me because crying is a emotion I have no control over. I can do breathe exercise to take back control but that's it. The hard part is figuring out if they are trying to help or harm you.

Tcav, Lost my cool verbally, with a friend. I corrected by using concepts, vocabulary, I learned through u🤙

Thanks for this TCAV 🪷 The moving pillow might be God’s sense of humor

Good lesson and always at the right time. Thank you…!

Outstanding video Shipmate!

We're all in the forge.🔥

Again, so glad I ran up on this channel. Thank you.

There’s another use for anger it offsets grief, so you can function sometimes anger is a tool. Most people don’t understand how you can use anger for your benefit not your deficit point counterpoint. Most people won’t understand and I don’t expect you to, but the fact of the matter is anger is keeping me alive, go figure most of my life anger has brought me nothing but trouble, but today is a different day just saying

Great lesson! We learn and move forward…. Awareness is the key …. Thank you for the lesson brother!

Anger…can drive a truck up a steep mountain and right off the cliff too!!

You have an Army of followers. My husband suggested you refer to them as 'Cavanaugh's Cavalry.' Just something for you to consider! ❤ 🇺🇸

If it wasn’t Marine Corps training and control it had over my ego and anger I don’t know where I be now

Good Morning Cav Great message but you are off today, something is bothering you and it shows!! I have watch every one. It is so hard to control the beast within!! That rage shit has gotten me know where but in fucking trouble!!! Your the Fucking Cav!! Shake it off and keep your head held high and “be smart”!! Take care Bro!! Gaetani, 82nd ABN!!

When Cav talks about cleaning toilets alot, I know exactly what he's talking about and it makes you angry, but then I think no one else brings a 800 page book to work like the ones I read so then you got to think not of your ego but the bigger picture and trying to foresee where the world is heading next.

Thank you for your honesty. My own anger is positive for me because I am mostly able to sublimate it into motivation: like, 'don't let the b'stards get you down'. I've had years of achievement out of anger. That's like thinking hot and acting cold. Regarding frustration and irritation, I do suffer a bit with that but had years of training in suppressing it while working as a waitress for years. You just can't lose it in those environments. Chefs do because they are out of sight but they shouldn't. It's very bad for business. However, anger directed at me has been devastating. Ruined my life. I have had to spend years climbing out of the gutter. A robust ego can deal with anger better because it rationalises and can bridge the gulf between instinct and control, so there isn't the 'switching'. A healthy ego can afford to roll with things more because it doesn't get threatened easily. Not many people are in that place though. We are mainly fragile, with issues and have to work on it.