Technoblade Quotes You Didn’t Know Existed! 

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"techno doesn't upload, so i will" our savior

"small animals are superior to real people" the most truthful techno quote

You missed the best one: “I’m an atheist, but when God sends me to hell I want him to hesitate.”

Wait if Technoblade is pregnant and Technoblade never dies, does that mean his child will never become an orphan? Edit: wait no Technoblade could just disown his child

"techno doesn't upload, so i will" that'll be the quote your famous for lol

Bold of you to assume I haven't watched all of his videos in my eternal hunger for more Technoblade content

*Reads title* ”you dare challenge me”

I’m putting a technoblade quote as my senior quote

Untrue I knew almost all of these quotes except the story mode ones because that videos 3 hours long

This Netherite Pickaxe Approves of these quotes

"I mean I guess you can have dreams of being the greatest farmer of all time." Oh Techno. I wonder what your young self's reaction would be if someone were to tell him that future him would farm potatoes for over a year to bully a child.

Wilbur: "If you could influence anything, what will you influence?" Technoblade: "I have no idea." Wilbur: "Ok. Cool. Good talk." Technoblade: "I don't know what to do with power, I just seek it." From Seapeeplays video where he's training for MCC 7 with Wilbur, Dream, and Techno. Techno never uploads so he wasn't recording at the time but that last line was just so funny.

"Technoblade Quotes You Didn’t Know Existed!" Me, a Technoblade fan starved for content: "You dare oppose me mortal?"

"I mean everyone would hate me. BUT, hear me out here, *it'd be funny* "

Bold of you to asume I don’t know all of technos quotes from his old videos

"If you peek out of that door, I will shoot you." "I can smell you." "My boy Jacob here, he mines cobblestone for me all day, I don't pay him, and he also has no rights." "I make poor life choices a lot." (relatable) "I'm having a mental breakdown." (also relatable) "I wanna stab people for coins, I don't wanna talk." "Global warming just happened." "They murdered him first! He was mine! I called dibs." "I bet that's a poison potion because everything is a disappointment nowadays" (relatable) "Well it turns out I used logic to conclude that the universe is meaningless and everything sucks" (true) Technoblade's quotes out of context are an absolute gold mine. Though he can also be arrested for some of them.

You underestimate my power of being an absolute SIMP for Technoblade

Technoblade delivers his comedy the same way John Mulaney does sometimes and it catches me off guard EVERY TIME

I know most of these. Since Techno uploads so infrequently I've already binged all his vehicles. Edit: Yes, yes, I know I spelt videos as vehicles. You people have made it abundantly clear.

"It would take 100 day to catch up, I can't go that long without uploading my fan would murder me" Techno: *Proceed to not upload for months at a time*

"You think I'm about to go out there and ally with the Tree Orphans?" *"Tree Orphans" uses the word "O R P H A N"* Lol ofc he wouldn't

"you're sub count is my live viewer count KID SIT DOWN" *death by laughter*

"technoblade doesn't upload, so I WILL" is , coincidentally, such a techno-energy-radiating quote

"You can't just go around blowing up people's property like that" How the turns table

"idk man, that biology quiz was like last week" bruh i forget an entire unit in the span of 30s my brain just deletes unwanted files like that edit: stop liking please i want my youtube notifications to be 0

“He’s questioning himself, we’ve already won”

Rest in Peace, Homie.

"Patrick? Who the heck names their kid Patrick? Lame." My brother: why

Apparently techno talks in the perfect way for the captions to understand exactly what he says

2:25 “I don’t have any bread so I’m just gonna use a shit ton of whatever the hell this is” LMAO

"I can't go without uploading for that long, my fans will kill me!" We should check on him

"i make poor life choices... a lot" yeah same

Techno saying "free death for everyone wheeeeeeeeee" reminds me of "I'm the general wheeeeeeeeeeee"

"Weapons are for casuals" ~technoblade~

Randomhuman: techno quotes u didnt know existed My stan knowledge of techno: doubt

you assume we haven't watched techno's extremely old videos out of starvation

"'I am so masculine and indifferent about this small animal' and then it like walks over and licks my foot and my brain just goes 'oh my god this is the greatest moment of my life'"

" *i looked it up the internet and i saw, i'm pregnant* "

i recognized all of these what is my life

"Techno won't upload, so I will!" Is the most Technoblade-inspired sentence I've ever heard.

4:39 isn't that pretty much all he does on the Dream SMP?

4:31 this quote aged fantastically

4:30 That aged perfectly

"I mean everyone would hate me but, hear me out here, it'd be funny" The perfect embodiment of a chaotic neutral

I watched at 2x speed, just finished and knew all the quotes POG (gl on 30k :> )

You forgot the best one -but when you look back at where you started, you will be amazed how far you've come.

“Don’t tell my parents they think I have a job” Thats the line that got me to sub back in the day, who else subbed through the ads he bought with all his money back when he had 100k subs?

"Strength beats pants, that's the moral of this story"

"You can't just go around blowing up people's property" - Technoblade

I've watched Technoblade for so long to the point where I remember most of these quotes

Whenever I watch a video about Technoblade, he still lives on in my mind

2:54 THIS IS GOLD LOL

"be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness" -sun tzu- technoblade

Well the adult 1 didn’t age well… 😭😭😭😭😭

It’s depressing how accurate the title is

"Their attention span is somehow... shorter than mine. What was i saying, anyhow."

"we're gonna wanna build a sign that politely asks him to not interrupt us while we do this" *"go away"*

Bro ive watched quite literally all of this, and btw there was this technoblade quote that went "I had no expectations and you still managed to disappoint me" can I have that clip please im having trouble finding

Now I want to read through my copy of "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu.

My favorite thing is listening to his voice change over time lol- and since this video does not show things in order from old to new it was quite a rollercoaster

rip techno

"i can't go that long without uploading, my fans will murder me"

every part of this is amazing

RIP Techno blade...

just realized how much i watch this man, I know every single one of those quotes and where they're from

4:39 I love how he casually dodges every arrow that guy shot

his voice in the first two clips differ *so much*

I like how this channel has complinations using older clips instead of newer ones

"You think I'm about to go out there and ally with the Tree Orphans? What am I, VEGAN? No thanks! Catch me allying with the alien space gods instead. Thank you, bye."

“Thank you hypixel” -Technoblade

My Technoblade The legend of Sun Tzu is looking lit. Thank you for helping me with the Quotes

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it almost looks like a time capsule

"remember, if you see a murder being committed, you should immediately call them a boomer" Tecnoblade

"As someone that went to college I know you cant lose what you never had, but you can go into debt" -Techno-Chan, 180 A.D.

The first one was so nostalgic. The first time I ever saw technoblade was through him buying those commercial/advertisements

I actually knew a bunch of these- I feel like a great fan ✨👌🏻

Now I know why he wanted to know where the library was, he needs more frog facts

0:56 technically thats a sun tzu quote

3:12 man that hits in 2021 over a year into quarantine

"Everybody would hate me but hear me out, it'd be funny." Fair enough

This video makes me happy

this is why techno is my spirit animal

I’ve seen all of these, and know em. Story mode is great

I felt like half of these ik but still good hustle

Him putting facts about frogs in the chat is honestly me. Did you know that sea turtles can breathe through their butts? Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder? Did you know that the oldest "your mom" joke was found on a 3,500 year old babylonian tablet?

How did i never know you made this???

5:36 underrated

The Variable one got me good xDDDDD

"Your subcount is my live viewer count kid sit DOWN" made me say damn out loud, man got destroyed

he is HONESTLY whats going on inside my mind

bold of you to assume i havent heard all of these quotes multiple times while rewatching all of technos videos because it passes the time until he actually uploads

i love the way techno says toddler,, toddle-er

“I can’t go that long (107 days) without uploading, my fans will hate me” *Laughs in having to wait anyways

Thoughts on making a Technoblade being an english major video

I already knew about at least half of these sir

"free death for everyone weeeeeeeeeeee-" i would like to take you up on that offer, good sir.

Some of his quotes from his most popular videos. "Betcha didnt didnt know these quotes"

3 most famous quotes, “Technoblade never dies” “Subscribe to Technoblade” “I thought it’d be kinda funny..”