Terminal Agitation Examples (Real Footage for Education) 

My mom was like this off and on for a couple days before she died. Ten minutes before she died, she tried to get out of bed stating she needed her coat, shoes and purse because her dad , who died 30 years before, was coming to get her.

To the families who allow us to view and learn from their videos. THANK YOU, for the strength to share what can be a very disconcerting at the time. I send strong hugs to you.

I was alone at my mother’s home with her when she died. The night before she did get agitated. The hospice nurse told me on the phone to give her more meds. I did and she calmed down but didn’t regain her consciousness . I wished I would have had access to this video before. But even 14 years later it finally gives me relief. Thank you for what you do!!!

When my mom was dying, her clothes and covers became a huge problem for her, so we let her just rest naked. My husband was OK with that. They were very close. We covered her up if we were expecting someone like a doctor or nurse, but, bless mom's heart, she couldn't stand material against her skin. She came to stay with us as she was dying of pancreatic cancer. I took 30 days off work. She died on the 29th day. ❤

My father had horrible terminal agitation with sudden-onset dementia. He forgot who I was. He thought I was a horrible nurse who was trying to kill him. Sometimes he knew who I was and he would say horrible, awful things to me. He physically assaulted me several times. It was a nightmare. I will never get the image out of my sight of him crawling around the hospital bed in a diaper trying to escape, flinging his legs over the bar, fighting with me, trying to hurt me...saying horrible things. I didn't sleep hardly at all the last 4 weeks of his life. The night before he died, I couldn't believe the strength he had. The last thing he said to me was "Get your hands off of me, you f-ing b--ch!" As I was trying to keep his legs inside the rails. The next day, he was heavily medicated and nvr regained consciousness. It was especially hard because I had always been his "darling girl" and he was so kind and sweet. 😢😢😢 I suffered PTSD afterward and needed counseling. I wish someone had prepared me better. Thank you for doing this.❤

That terminal agitation is also a spiritual side of things. I won't go into it but our whole life, begins and ends with our spirit given to us and where its going when the time comes.

One of the things which still haunts my sister, whose husband died at the end of a dementia journey, was that death isn't necessarily the quiet and peaceful thing she was expecting. Her husband's agitation was unexpected for her and she associated it with his being in great pain and distress. It's taken lots of talking to persuade her that, just like birth, dying is quite an active process and it doesn't always mean that the person dying is suffering. And that some simple measures can help to bring calm. It would have been so much easier for her to digest if she had seen your videos ahead of his passing. You are offering us the privilege of learning what dying is really all about and it is an education which is sadly missing for so many of us until we are thrust into the heart of it, and it can leave us traumatised. Thank you so much.

Thank you to everyone who allows these videos to be shared. It's very helpful to those who are going through the difficulties of losing a loved one as well as those who fear the dying process. It does seem scary, but it is normal. Our bodies are made to do these things. Education is very important for the person who is at their end of life and those who love someone going through this journey.

Having been there while both my father & father in law passed, I noted that the day before they passed the agitation began. Recently my sister was admitted to hospital with septic shock. I spoke with her the day of and the day after being admitted. She seemed fine except for her breathing. I heard from the doctor & her son, that she was getting better everyday. So I was shocked to see her 4 days later. She did not seem better to me at all. One thing that really bothered me was how agitated she was. While I was there, the Dr came around & told me she was on “the road to recovery”. When I mentioned the agitation to him, he blew it off. When I left, I knew that would be the last time I saw her alive. She passed early the next morning. It still bothers me how the doctor ignored what was clearly a sign that she was not recovering! I hope that doctors will watch this video & take away what are signs of end of life. 😢

My brother died in Sept after battling for 2 years with bone cancer. He picked at the sheets and constantly wanted us to keep moving him up the bed and lift his leg. Thank you for posting this as at the time I was so upset and felt I had failed him and that he was in pain. It is really important to show and explain what is happening. I would've liked to have known about this and I may have found it easier to cope with if I was educated about it. X

My husband actually stood up in the hospital bed during the night I jumped out of bed, landing on me and taking us both to the ground. It was scary to wake up to him standing on the bed out of his mind, jumping into your arms. He passed just a few hours later. Living inside my heart, miss you Gazie❤️

Again, my Dad. He was passing from leukemia and they basically had him in a medically induced coma. He was still very agitated. The doctors said it wasn't pain, but changed his medication to Valium, and he appeared much calmer. It was done more for our sake than his. It is comforting to now understand that this is just the process that we go thru. God bless.

My dad had this in june a few hours before he died as well. He was trying to get out of bed constantly. Got annoyed with us when he wouldn't let him. He couldn't walk by himself anymore for months but he wanted to get out of bed for hours on end.

So tough to watch, but I respect you and all hospice people for facing it directly.

My precious husband was on hospice at home. He had bladder cancer that had spread to bones, lungs, and his brain. Less than 24 hours before he passed, he suddenly woke up and was violent. My daughter and her husband helped hold him while I got extra meds for him. We didn't expect it, and he had tons of strength. He was spitting and cursing and fighting us, but we knew it wasn't him. It still haunts me daily, and I feel I should have talked to him more. I absolutely feel honored to take care of him. He was a wonderful husband for many years and always took care of me. It hurt me physically, but I wish I could have done more. God's richest blessings to anyone going through this.

Thank you to the families for allowing us to see these videos. I'm sorry for their losses. 🙏🏻

My 91 year old father-in-law went through this for most of his last month of life. There was just no calming him. He was in a hospice facility and they tried so hard. Calming medications barely touched it. He was constantly picking at clothes and covers and his catheter as well as moving his legs in ways that we feared he would end up out of the bed. He'd fall asleep for a few minutes then was awake and moving again for hours. We sat with him and held his hands and did as much as we could to help sooth him and keep as settled as possible. It was so hard for my husband. He was getting no sleep and finally had to go home for a couple of days. His last couple of hours were more peaceful and my husband told his sister and all the other relatives that he had passed peacefully in his sleep. There is no way that we could have taken care of him alone at home. My husband's sister was quite critical of my husband insisting on using the hospice facility. She believed all of the negative stereotypes about hospice and still insists that if he had gone to rehab rather than to hospice that he would not have died. But she wasn't there.

My mother also went through this . When she was more lucid at the beginning of hospice she asked if she had her coat on and told her she did and looked great for her journey . In the last 72 hours of her life she was constantly trying to get out of bed and also was over stimulated by clothing . She seemed to settle down when my brother would read to her from the Bible . Something soothing to her maybe ? You helped prepare me for her end of life journey. It was sad and I miss her but in the end this is how she wanted it. I think it is normal to second guess our decisions and actions . I certainly do .

Maybe showing younger people that suffer from this at end of life would be good to show too, thank you for sharing and spreading awareness 🙏🏻

I helped my BFF the last 2 months of her life. Hospice closed down in her area, so I was her only caretaker 24/7. we did have a nurse come in once per week to check her vitals and progress. Seeing these videos helps me understand that I did the right things to assist her at the end of her life. Thank you for sharing.

This takes me back to when my dad passed. We were best friends, never went a day without talking then a hypoxic brain injury started a pretty dramatic mental decline. His life’s work was helping the elderly and I promised I wouldn’t put him in a home unless it was necessary. Thankfully when he started to wander he was only in a home on hospice for a month. One Sun morning he wouldn’t wake up so the dying process started. He was “unconscious” when I came in the room he sat up and tried so hard to talk to me (word salad) and began to get agitated when others started showing up. So 15 min after my mom left and it was just him and I, I told him I’d watch over mama, that he couldn’t protect us anymore down here and that it was ok to go. Once again, he sat up, looked at me, squeezed my hand, and passed in my arms. The day before he was pretty agitated so he was given meds. The nurse continued to give meds to keep him comfortable and I couldn’t have asked for a better way for him to cross over. ❤ Thank you for sharing all of these videos with us, and those who aren’t in the medical field. I’d been a flight paramedic for 20 years by the time he passed but I truly feel he didn’t want my mom to see him take his last breath, but knew I could handle it. Our loved ones all deserve to have comfort, so thank you so much for sharing these educational videos ❤

My dad was very restless on his last night, a lot like the first video. It was hard not being able to soothe him for more than a couple minutes. There came a point where he clearly wanted to get UP, so we helped him briefly stand. When we got him back on the bed, he was calm, his eyes and body and breathing much more relaxed than before. We said our goodbyes and told him it was OK to go. His last few minutes were peaceful. He was always an athletic man before he got sick and it comforts me that getting on his feet one last time helped him let go

After watching many of these videos, I have to say that I hope and pray that I go as quickly as possible. 'Normal' or not, I don't want my family to experience this. 'Thankfully', my dad passed away nearly instantly, but even just the few minutes that I was with him as he died was emotionally horrific. If I have a choice, I would just prefer to be sedated entirely during this process.

Oh my goodness, I just went through this with my Dad. He had a stroke and behaved exactly like this. He did survive and is currently in rehab and no longer acting this way. He did this for about 3 days though. True story, at one point I said, "Dad, let's pray" and he closed his eyes and calmed down. When I said "amen" His eyes flew open and he said, "It worked!". We still had about 2 days of this behavior before he started to come back to us. I wondered what his "it worked" response meant and seeing this has me thinking that maybe he was at "end of life" (the doctors thought so) and the prayer actually did work!

Thank you! I'm a chaplain and my assigned unit is medical oncology. Your videos have helped me feel comfortable with dying patients and explaining to families that things are normal/when to get the nurse.

My mom passed in may at home with us and she didn't want to stay in bed it was so hard to keep her in bed she couldn't walk no longer and then she started sitting up in bed holding her arms straight out and screaming! I was beside myself. I called the hospice nurse who came out and they told us to increase her meds! It was just heartbreaking to watch my mom go through that! She finally calmed down with the increase of meds. I held her had and talk to her and sat by her bed. She passed 2 days latter🙏 I wish that I had seen your videos sooner 😢 😞

Our society handles death and dying badly because we would rather focus on idiocy. Your videos are the end point of life and should be seen by everyone. They educate about our fragile nature and make living each day in peace a noble goal.

Thank you Julie For educating everyone that sees this I retired 7 years ago from Hospices and still help out when I can when needed

When my wife was passing after 26 years with MS, the palliative care Dr put her on Midazolam and it saved her from all those symptoms and gave her a peaceful death. I was so grateful for that.

Took care of many many hospice patients during 20 years and truly have seen these actions as well. Thank you for keeping it real.

I realise now with my aunt, she did the same maybe 30 min before passing. She had lung cancer and went from vibrant to passing within 2 months. Just before the end, before we knew it was the end, she received her cortisone nebulizer during medication time in the hospital. After that she seemed to breathe easier for some minutes but then she also took hold of the bed rails to try and come upright and forward. She was laying in a very upright position due to the condition of her lungs. I am so grateful for you nurse Julie, i had been watching your videos for quite some time, by chance, and 1-2 days before her death i knew she was going over to actively dying. I told everyone to come say goodbyes because i knew😭 she was like a mother to me, and because of your education i had the opportunity to know. Thank you so much❤

So very informative. Former caregiver for my mother 13 years, and this would have been a lifesaver for me to have known. She was on Hospice 5 months. Wonderful company that I dealt with, I even got a sympathy card and several cards after the fact. It truly made a difference. Hospice nurses are under paid and under acknowledged for the physical and emotional trauma that they go through daily. Thank you for your service to families.❤

Good evening Nurse Julie. This is the last video my mother shared with me through text before she died suddenly from an AVM. She came upon your videos while trying to understand and cope with the passing of her own mother about two years ago which she witnessed. Below is what she texted me after sending the video: “I watch her videos and they are so educational about terminal patients. I wish I would’ve been more educated about dying. I felt like mom was suffering but all of her experiences were a normal part of the death process.” I just wanted to share this with you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for making these videos which helped my mother understand and have some closure with the witnessing of my grandmother’s passing. Thanks you ❤

My mother's last day was quiet. She slept, mouth open, raspy breaths, etc. She had fought all the machines and everything the night before and had been restrained. Occasionally she would try to raise her hand. Once transferred to hospice she continued to sleep and made no other such movements. That evening I went to take my elderly father home. We had seen no movement and heard nothing but her breaths. I leaned down to kiss her cheek and told her I loved her. I knew deep down this was goodbye. She began trying to talk at that point and squeezing hard on my hand. Her eyes were closed but she was making guttural sounds as though she wanted to speak. I am not sure if that was terminal agitation, as her sister said the moment I left she quit doing that and went back to sleep. My interpretation was that maybe she was trying to say goodbye. I had told her two days before (she was disoriented and delirious) that I loved her and would miss her for the rest of my life. I also told her that I knew I would be able to make it and help my father if she needed to go. I wanted her to feel like she didn't have to suffer more to take care of us. I like to think that last moment with her making those sounds was her way of trying to say it was time. She passed away three hours later.

I want to thank you for posting this information, my mom is 87 years old and has been going through dementia for 11 years, and these videos have removed a lot of fear from me ❤ once again thank you 😊

My 80 year old mother died almost exactly a year ago in Hospice Care. I was with her the entire time. Thankfully, she had absolutely none of these things. She appeared so calm and comfortable. She appeared to just sleep until she finally stopped breathing. The nurses definitely medicated her well. They knew exactly when she needed medication. Thank Zgod for Hospice Care ❤️🙏🏻

My mom went through this, but we didn't ƙnow what she was going through as our hospice nurse was out of town! I was home alone with her, it was heartbreaking! 😢

My dad had this with his feet. He was over 6 feet, and when the staff at the nursing facility made his bed, they had tucked in the foot end of his covers and his feet were constantly moving in an agitated way. So I untucked his covers and liberally applied lotion to both feet and he immediately calmed and relaxed.

When my mother was actively dying from cancer she’d been unconscious on a pump with midazolam, morphine etc. A night nurse came to help me get a few hours sleep. I was on the sofa asleep, the nurse came in and apologised for waking me. I thought mum had died or was close. What happened was that mum was physically and vocally distressed and the experienced nurse couldn’t calm her. I will never forget her loud wailing. Nurse had given her a meds top up but it wasn’t kicking in. To say I was traumatised by this was an understatement. I managed to calm my mum but had to leave the room to just cry my eyes out. I felt that the nurse could have handled that so much better than she did. I was so appreciative of any help we got but nobody explained terminal agitation before or after my mum died. Thanks for educating so many x

I wish I had seen these videos when my father was in his last days… I took care of him till his last breath.. but I’m not going to lie it was so stressful, I was scared , so so scared and sad at the same time . ..It was so difficult, till this day it affects me . Your videos would of helped me so much ….but better late than never …You have inspired me to possibly volunteer and help others with their elderly parents , going through the transition phase into the next realms of life …

Dear nurse julie, I found your videos about 6 months before my mother passed away and I cannot begin to describe to you the level of peace and comfort your videos gave me as I was dealing with the events leading up to her passing peacefully at the age of 87. I hope you never get discouraged by making content. Your content is so valuable during this time that seemingly we will all inevitably go through. Thank you for shedding light in what was otherwise a dark and unknown matter. God bless you

Thank you for this channel. I was with both my parents and in-laws as their end of life care giver. I did not have access to any of this information or hospice care ( it wasn’t available at the time) but the doctors were great about the medications and taught me how to administer them because none of them wanted to be in a hospital. They all passed at home, in their favorite spot. Each had different end of life moments but I dealt with each as they came. There was so much trust and loving bond with each of them that I look back on it as a wonderful experience I shared with them. Dying is part of life and as hard as it is to let go, we must; for their sake. I shared the great lives they led for decades and then shared their leaving, saying goodbye was peaceful and satisfying. Thank you for helping me know I did ok:):):)

Thank you to you and the families who gave their permission for this video. My mum dies 3 years ago and now I finally understand what was going on. ❤😢

What a gift you are. We try to avoid knowing anything about what happens as death approaches, and that makes it harder for everyone concerned. It's so helpful when you take it beyone telling us to showing us. It's hard to see but we're forever changed by it and have a better chance at being able to step up in whatever way we're needed. Sending you so much love and gratitude.

My father was in memory care. He quit eating and drinking and we moved him to a hospital (he did not want a feeding tube). He was somewhat restless and agitated but we stayed with him for the two days it took for him to die. We talked to him, we talked to each other, we had the priest in to give him the last rites and we prayed the rosary together which seemed to calm him. Talking was the main thing that brought calm and peace to him. Thank you for these videos, they are informative and compassionate.

I’m so glad you shared this. It also applies to pets! I lost my beloved dog and experienced a lot of the same behaviors before he passed. I wish I would have known that it would be so active. It was fairly traumatic at the time.

i don’t know if any of the family members of these patients are reading this comment but if you are, i’d just like to say thank you. losing your loved one in this way is so extremely painful, but the fact that you chose to use it as an opportunity to educate caregivers and medical practitioners is truly honourable. you’ve taken your pain and brought something positive out of that to help other people and that is beautiful to me. the knowledge gained from watching these videos will help families and their loved ones going through the same situation. so thank you, it’s truly a selfless act❤

I got a call from my Aunt telling me that my father had suffered a stroke a week before (My father and I had a very difficult relationship) and that they were moving him to hospice care. Never having known anyone in Hospice care before, I thought it was another department of the hospital one went to recover and told her it was "good he was going somewhere he could get the treatment he needed." He had been unresponsive since the stroke but I did end up going to see him. In the end I was able to tell him all the things that he refused to listen to in life and I am very glad I did.

I really appreciate this education and the shared videos. I was diagnosed with terminal cancer at 25 I turned 27 a few days ago and these days are coming closer for me. It really helps me not be as afraid and helps me emotionally prepare my family by having these things to let them know about.

Just watched this video and realised my husband has only just started this agitation stage . Thankyou for your help in preparing myself for what is coming x

These videos are so important. I was with my husband throughout the dying process, and if I had not someone explain to me the stages he went through, I would have been so much more stressed. It’s such a daunting process to experience. Channels such as yours provide such insight and guidance. You are wonderful!

My boyfriend, in his 60s, just got put on hospice care. Small cell cancer. I dread the things that i have seen in the videos, but i am very thankful it wont be totally unexpected. Thank you 💗

My husband exhibited those mannerisms on our way back from the grocery store and died as I tried to get him into the house. He was in late stage Alzheimer’s. Thank you for sharing because I had no idea what was going on, until now.

It's a big thing to be able to help someone with their dying process. To be able to choke back your own fear and uncertainty, and just help, is huge. ❤❤

honestly why cant we be put to sleep like animals when were on our death bed rather than going through the process. i love what you share and that you show the reality of dying/death. thankyou

I was completely traumatized from my mom’s terminal agitation. I felt helpless because I think she wanted to get out of bed and wanted to come home. She did not want to be there from the start. She wasn’t ready to die, I think she was worried about us even though we told her we would be OK and not to worry. She was always worried about loose ends. She had back pain and I’m not sure it was being controlled. Very bad anxiety issues, too, and very scared to be alone. I had extreme anxiety and could not stay with her at all times. I struggle with guilt and remorse to this day. I understand it’s a natural process, but it seems to be very grueling to go through whether there is physical pain or not.

I was not aware of terminal agitation until my husband was actively dying from cancer. He was much younger than your examples and there is definitely a more aggressive terminal agitation. My husband was unconscious, but he was clearly terrified of wetting the bed. He would jump up out of bed and start yelling that he had to go pee. I could not hold him down, he pushed me onto the floor and into walls when I tried to keep him in the bed. He did not know who I was and called me "dude" a few times. I had to have the ambulance come out 3 times just to help me get him back into bed, because after wetting on the floor in the bathroom he would go back to unconsciousness. I would have a chair ready to have him sit on before he fell unconscious. Just a tip......have your cellphone on you 100% of the time when your loved one is actively dying. If I had not had it on me, I dont know how I could have made it to the phone for help and keep him from falling off the chair.

My dad has terminal lung cancer and is getting to near the end of his life and I'm so glad I have these videos. I am his only carer and I'm looking for things to help him any way I can. Thank you!

So helpful. For years, we've talked about keeping death out of sight. Now, with the advent of hospice, many of us are getting exposed to death more directly. We need your short, sweet, and valuable lessons. Unfamiliar with death and fearful of it we may miss some of the extraordinary lessons death can teach us.

Oh I wish I had seen this 2mths ago when my Dad was doing this in hospital the last afternoon I saw him before they called me in in the wee hours, and I knew he was Dying when I got there, unlike the junior doctor who was on the night shift. Please thank the families for sharing this with everyone who needs to know what they are seeing, I hope all the family members are doing well

Thank you for showing us these videos of the various processes in dying. I wish that my mother, sister and myself had known about this so we could be prepared for our father's dying process which went on for hours and hours. Naturally we were greatly disturbed at what seemed an extremely lengthy process and begged the doctor, who came to the house, to ease his suffering. He did administer some drug but even with that it was another 6 or 7 hours before he passed. I have since been present at three other deaths of friends and not one of them was as prolonged or as agonising as my father's back in 1970.

Hard to watch but so important to share so people understand what is normal. I am a retired RN and agree that education is the key. Thank you for sharing ❤

Thank you for this video. I’ve wondered for almost 19 years why my mom did this the night before we put her in hospice and now I know what it was she was going through. They sedated her there and she passed 3 days later at the hospice from lung cancer that had spread to her brain and the rest of her organs. It was rapid and she was gone in 5 months, but those last few days were brutal to watch if you love someone.

Thank you so very much to these families for sharing, without you we wouldn't be able to educate and prepare ourselves ❤

I'm caregiver for my Dad. The last several weeks nothing has sounded or tasted good to him & hes dropped over 30 lbs. I know loss of appetite can be one of the symptoms someone is entering end of life. He's been extra snippy with me so my sister & I were attributing it to this agitation but I guess we were thinking of the wrong kind of agitation. He sleeps a LOT so he's confused when he wakes up & then he gets mad & yells at me for sleeping when its the middle of the night, etc. Blessings to everyone 🙏

This is a tremendous resource. Wish I had found it earlier. From the moving of the legs, to the vocalization of distress to the constant attempts to get out of bed, this is exactly how Mum passed. I was given a morphine pump that allowed me to give her another dose when the agitation couldn't be controlled with regular timed doses.

Thank you, I was very lucky to have your videos while my mother was in the process of dying. They taught me a lot of what to expect. She was in the last 3 days of life and continually pulled her glasses off her face, pulled at her hair and picked at the neckline of her gown. I thought she was in pain. I didn’t realize this was normal until the Doctor came in and told me she wasn’t in pain but just needed something to calm her. She passed peacefully.

I so appreciate you posting these! I spoke to a patient's daughter on Friday who's mother was exhibiting signs of terminal secretions and I pointed her to your videos and suggested she call the hospice company for a long overdue chat.

My dad passed away from lung cancer in 1995 & a week before his passing he was going & out of consciousness like in a trance calling out his mother & my deceased brother’s name. He was very agitated looking straight ahead as if they were in front of him. Very emotional

My goodness. If only I had access to this information 10-20 years ago when my parents were dying. There was so little information. I loved my dad so much and had to call for sedation at 3am as he became increasingly distressed. I was alone with him and scared. But his last words were that he loved me and he passed peacefully. I carry that in my heart. You are providing an amazing service. ❤

I’m so grateful to find this channel to be prepared for the future. My mom has just been diagnosed with dementia and I’m already seeing a side of her that I’ve never experienced. We can still have normal conversations but then there’s those other times. One thing I’ve learned is don’t try to convince them that they’re wrong in what they say and do. Deflect and stay calm.

My mom had the leg movement like that at the hospital just hours before she passed last yr. I really wondered why she was doing that. I thought maybe she was uncomfortable or in pain. The nurse I asked was indifferent and wouldn't give her anything. I appreciate you showing these bc it's not what comes to mind when you say terminal agitation. I imagined agression. My mom had dementia but she caught Covid and became Septic. It all happened so fast. Please thank the families again from us bc what was shared has brought understanding and comfort. ♥️

My dad passed in 2007 after a severe stroke. I wish that I'd known what to expect. He exhibited many of the behaviors you cover in these videos. My sister and I were able to remain calm, but it was distressing not being able to understand the process. Thank you for your dedication in educating people on what to expect. Thank you to the families for being willing to share the videos of their lives ones.

Yeah my dad did this exact thing back in 2001-2002 before he passed of Parkinson's. I was fortunate to have a hospice nurse like yourself to explane all of this.

This looks exactly like my grandpa. I was with him all through his dying process because he wanted me there. Im so grateful for these videos because they confirm what I thought. It was his time. ❤

My brother-in-law was highly agitated by his sudden terminal ( lung cancer ) diagnosis. He kept moving around his house, poured a much too generous amount of alcohol in a glass and was essentially not in his right mind when I visited him. I was shocked by his behavior trying to comprehend just what was going on. He had been a medical tech in a hospital so was aware of the stages of death; however, as it was happening to him the combination of drugs he was taking and his mental state were quite bizarre. The next time I saw him he was calm but asleep having been giving drugs to settle his agitation. Seeing him conscious and enduring the the reality of his diagnosis was very unsettling to me. He died in a few weeks. I would characterize in this instance his behavior as a combination of drugs and initial disbelief in his diagnosis-a very dangerous time for him and those loved ones around him. In hindsight we think in terms of stages as taking time to go from one to another: diagnosis, disbelief, acceptance, and so forth. With my brother-in-law his death track was very fast. He probably should have been treated differently.....

Thank you Julie. I so wish I had this knowledge while my mom was dying. Quilt & tears here even though I didn’t know.

48 hours before my Meemaw passed away, she was terrified. She wasn't all there and didn't quite know reality but she recognized me still. She asked me to stab her in her heart. It broke me but I stayed strong for her, in front of her. She fell unconscious the following day and died a day later but i always worry so much about her end because she was so confused, in pain and didn't know what was happening. She told me she thought she was dead already and was so relieved to see me because she knew that meant she was still alive. She fought so hard and I'll never forget how hard her end was. She was very strong willed and didn't want to die, didnt recognize that she was dying, so she was very scared. I feel like the hospital staff wasn't honest w her and didn't take the best care of her either. It was heartbreaking and I'm still broken over it.

My mother displayed agitation the night before she passed. I had left the room to get some rest, but my father was by her side; she had been bedridden and unconscious for two days prior and then suddenly sat upright, swinging her legs over the hospital bed that had been set up in their bedroom. He was certain she was actively trying to get out of bed. Because I wasn’t present, I can’t give an opinion of her level of awareness at that moment, only what I’d witnessed afterward, which was again unconsciousness. It was disturbing for him because he was alone with her when it occurred, and he had to carefully get mom back into bed from that alarming position (hospice had not yet started to watch over her). He was not forewarned about this possibility despite having met with hospice, so these videos are valuable for the familial caregivers that will stay with the dying in their last days.

I'm so grateful my father died unexpectedly in his sleep. So peaceful in fact, that my stepmother, who was in bed with him, had no idea he had passed away during the night. He was always terrified of dying in hospital like my Mom, but fate intervened and mercifully granted his wish of dying blissfully unaware in his bed at home.

really important for everyone to know... selfishly, I'd hate to be agitated at the end of my life... man, am I ready for peace

Thank you for this educational video series. Your channel is very professional and compassionate. I’m not looking forward to watching my father pass eventually.

Thank you so much Julie and the very kind families who realise that others need to know what to expect. My mum died last year and was always a very peaceful, composed person in her life but in the last few days of pneumonia and heart issues she kept pulling at her clothes and sheets and groaning and moving her legs like she was uncomfortable. I just fanned her a lot with the sheet, it helped. But you feel so terribly helpless. She was deaf, so I couldn’t even read to her. It was cruel. I pray she is at peace and happy now. God and church was her whole life.

You are doing such a service by sharing these videos. Death should not be feared, yet we keep so much of it hidden and unknown. We're all going to face it one day. Better to be educated and more comfortable with the process. Many blessings to you. ❤

I not only want to thank Julie but also the families who submitted the video of their loved ones. As a Registered Nurse in Australia I have recommended Julie's channel to new Grad Nurses - and their opinion is they have learnt more on this forum from a practical perspective than they ever learnt from a text book. thankyou! Sending positive Nursing and health vibes from Sydney Australia 🇦🇺 ❤

I wish i had these when my dad died 10 years ago. He was in an ICU in a medically induced coma, having several heart attacks. We all had to wear hazmat like suites because a patient had Mersa in the unit. When we took him off life support and everything started beeping and seeing him jolting freaked me out. I tore everything off and ran screaming! But a nurse talked me down and walked me back in. He passed, and looked so much more alive than he did moments earlier. I love you Dad and miss you so very much! And for all you reading and commenting, my condolences for your losses.

I am so grateful that you are sharing with us what we can expect. It is so important that everybody knows. We are all humans, and we are all going to die one day it takes away the fear and mystery. Thanks for educating us.

RU-vid is the gift we all need to inform us of things we never would have known.

Thank you so much for your videos! They’re very helpful, educational, straight-forward,and your explanation has removed the “sting” of the fear we experience when we don’t understand what is happening. I only wish I’d been better educated when my Mom died in 1992 and my Dad died in 2013. Traumatizing. And only now am I beginning to learn/understand some of what to expect when someone is dying. Thank you so much!

You are doing a great service to the global community. People need to see *normal*, not Hollywood. A huge thank you to those who contribute videos.

My mum had this agitation before she died, but I’d never heard of this. When I told the nurse about it she said ‘aw she’s maybe just frightened’ and walked away. I hated that! I just stroked her arm and talked to her, didn’t know what to do. Horrible.

Thanks to the families for allowing these videos to be viewed. You are providing a great public service.

Nurse Julie you're God sent. My mom just passed November 27 2023 on Monday. Hospice never came by to assess her after I called several times reached out to everyone who's number I had but since it was Black Fri Thanksgiving weekend no one came. Your videos helped me care for my mom on her final transitioning phase. I sincerely Thank you!! I unfortunately ran out of morphine so it was devastating for me to watch my mom die. My mom had dementia an all your Awesome videos guided me. This hospice team really devastated me. May God have mercy an guide my mom. You're a special special person 🥹 Thank you Cecilia

Thank you for showing these videos to teach people what could happen and that there are things that can be done to comfort the patient. My grandmother passed almost 5 years ago. She was extremely agitated and vocal and moving appendages. It was scary to me to witness, as each of us three family members would spend the day with her on our own. Lasted about 4-5 days in a hospital setting. She didn't get put on hospice until the day she passed. I wish I would have known there could have been some medicine administered to help calm her. Again, she wasn't on hospice yet, so hospital was still giving fluids and antibiotics and stuff. I always envisioned she was fighting off the grim reaper until the very end.

Thank you so much! I wish I had known about this when my grandmother was in hospice. I was freaked out. They told me it was normal but it wasn’t normal to me!!

Some of the best videos on RU-vid! Thanks for showing people what the death process is really like.

This is ridiculous that we allow people to end life this way. I wouldn't let my pets suffer this way, and no way in hell I'm going out this way

"positive sedation" sounds like such a practical and caring approach.

Great video! My wife's dad recenlty passed from a horrible case of pancreatic cancer. Peace be with you, Julie! I have utmost respect for nurses that work in hospice, with pediatrics, and oncology.

Those videos were perfect Julie! What those families gave you to show us is exactly how terminal agitation presents in the actively dying. A huge thank you to those families and to you for your tireless efforts in educating us! 🙂