How does someone die from Dementia 

Hi Julie, my Mom was a stroke survivor but paralysed on her whole left side. I had promised her in my adult years that she’d never be put in a nursing hm like my Nana. I quit my job & we lived off my 401k. We managed. We had so many happy times , so many laughs. In the end she told me to call everyone. I asked for what? She said to 😊😊 never opened her eyes or spoke again. When she passed she was curled up in my arms for she needed that assurance that she could go, that Id be ok. Her last exhale blew across my face at 4;30 a.m. 12/14/01. Mortician called the next day & asked how long I had been her main caregiver, other fam members thought I was crazy taking care of her. I told him 13 mths, why? He said your mother’s body was remarkable, u did an excellent job taking care of her. A lot of love and respect u showed your Mom. I hung up & cried terribly for the next 3 hrs. It was all with Gods guidance of teaching myself, YT videos, transferring her a dz times a day, proper diet, massage, exercises, it was my Mom. A lady that would have done the same for me and a Mom that I loved so very very much❤️

My mother’s experience was EXACTLY as you described in this video. Mom was born into a gene pool filled with dementia. While she was still in control she advised me to place her in a nursing home when the time came that she needed constant care. The idea of bed sores was true. She would say “my tail hurts” and both of us would laugh. On her last day she was staring up to the corner at the ceiling and said “ I see my baby. I want my baby.” I placed a teddy bear in her arms and she cradled it as a mother would. Then she had a lucid moment, called me by name, and we said goodbye. She died holding her “baby” in her arms and was very peaceful. Folks, listen to Julie. She is a blessing.

Retired MD here. You are a brilliant presenter. Obviously you’re a super nurse

My mother age 94 with dementia did stop eating or drinking and refusing meds. Hospice nurse assessed her and stated she had 5 to 10 days to live she would or could not open her eyes and slept 24/7. As a last child to see her I talked to her and she was able to squeeze my hand She tried to open her eyes but could not. She died 4 hours later and I firmly believe she waited until her last child came to say goodbye

My 91 year old mother passed away less than a week ago from dementia and her experience was exactly as you described. I was her caretaker and it broke my heart to see her declining so rapidly at the end. We were blessed to have 68 years together and she was the greatest mother and friend anyone could ask for. Thank you for posting your video as I am still grieving but your words have helped me tremendously to know I did all I could do for her as her son and caretaker. Thank you.

My wife just passed from Cruetzfeld Jakob Disease which is a rapid onset dementia. It was about 2 1/2 months but her last 8 days in hospice were some of the most amazing days thanks to nurses like you that care. One of the hospice nurses had worked in this for 21 years I asked her how she did this as all of her patients never have a happy ending, She looked at me and smiled and said "All of her patients have a happy ending, her job was to help them get there." Thank you for all you do.

Aspiration pneumonia, dysphasia, heart attack. Dad passed in his sleep. Even at his worst, he was cheerful, smiled a lot, never got belligerent. He just slowly withdrew from this world into the next. RIP, Pop!

My dad was drugged heavily, couldn't sit up to eat, slept all the time. I got him off the meds, he fattened up, sat up. And I had him around for another 2 + years. He died at 91.

My late husband had vascular dementia where the blood vessels of the brain slowly start to close up. He did exactly this...a stair step decline. Each time he lost a little more, but managed to bounce back somewhat each time...but never to the previous stair step level. He had dementia for at least 15 years, and I was his sole caregiver for the last ten years of his life...right to the very last moment. To see your loved one do this tragically slow stairstep decline is so painful Even more so for my husband. He was a world class craftsman working with his hands all his life. When he finally got to the point where his hands no longer worked as they should, it was devastating to him. He lost his joy in life, which caused even more decline. I felt fortunate to have him with me so long...because the long decline allowed me to not only show my love and devotion...but it allowed me the time to verbally express to him exactly how I felt about him. BTW, when they are unconscious and in their final days...have no doubt, they are "still in there". Never stop talking to them. As I cared for my Beau, I always talked about our times together. When I would say "I love you" his blue eyes would fly open and twinkle at me, eyebrows would flicker up and down to acknowledge he heard me, then he'd slip away into unconsciousness again. So keep talking...keep telling them that you love them. I tried to be present every single moment...however, to spare my feelings, my Beau waited until I was out of the room to cross to the other side. He always thought of me first...even in his passing. I love you Beau and I miss you every day. ❤❤❤

Hi my name is Tony G 70 years old. I was diagnosed with Alshimer dementia early 2018. My first mental health person was a joke once a month for 30 minutes I moved in with my son in New York and connected with VA in Manhattan I went through a battery of tests between mental health brain specialists and primary physicians. Yes I was on the verge of going down hill. But they taught me to delay the this l was taught to change all these habits get involved in activities change my diet get physically active and most importantly attend therapy classes. I learned what causes dementia and how to push it back delay it I got involved in charity. Io work , challenge my self by learning how to get around on the capital metro train/ bus line take daily walks two or more miles a day give running a try if physically capable and got my son and daughter in law to join

I’m 64, and about four years ago I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I’ve been my 94 y/o father’s caregiver since my mother passed in 2017. My dad lost his vision due to macular degeneration as well as his hearing after my mom died which I believe contributed to the onset of Alzheimer’s. Perhaps I’m too proud to ask for help however no one in my family has ever come forward to offer help of some sort either. My dad is the sweetest person I have ever known even now with his dementia and tries hard not to be difficult for me whenever he can. I’m glad I saw this video. Thank you for sharing this important knowledge! God bless you 🙏‼️

My 88 year old Nana took care of her 86 year old sister who had dementia. My Nana did the best she could, and would always speak to her sister normally, even though my great Aunt would constantly repeat herself and forget what my Nana just told her minutes ago. I tell everyone that she knew her for over 80 plus years and in her own way, that was how she coped with it. I would say Nana there is no cure and she's only going to get worse. You're too old to be taking care (washing, clothing, and feeding) of her. But she said we don't put family in nursing homes they die at home. My Great Aunt passed away in 2021. Just like you said, peacefully in her sleep. What made it eerie was that, the night my Aunt went to bed , my Nana slept in the bed with her, which she hadn't before. My Nana say she woke up and realized her sister wasn't breathing. Today my Nana is 91 and is the only living sibling out of her 5 brothers and sisters.

I cared for my 86 year old Mom the last 5 years of her life. It was a slow decline and one of her doctors told me how she would die: she would lose the ability to eat and drink. I quit my job and started a business that gave me the flexibility to care for her as she always said she never wanted to go into a nursing home. And as one who has been in many of the nursing homes in my state servicing food service equipment, I was 1000% in agreement with her... you simply cannot un-see certain things. In her last few days, her food intake dropped and when I couldn't get more than a few ounces of liquid into her I called my siblings telling them to come see her now. Was very happy that she recognized my brother and called him by name. Two days later she passed in her sleep and was through with the horror called dementia. Taking care of Mom wasn't easy, but she put up with me for the first 19 years of my life so what's a mere 5 years?

Hi Julie, I just found your videos. This really hit home with me. We learned at the end of 2021 that besides having CHF and severe kidney disease, my wife developed Alzheimer's. I had an aunt who had it for years before she died two years ago. I had been noticing that Cindy, my wife, had become increasingly forgetful. But she was only 61 at the time. She wasn't that bad and continued living at home. Last spring, taking care of her at home became too much for me. We have been married for 40 years. She moved into a care facility in March. I struggled with the decision. But she needs someone who can help her bathe, dress, and take care of herself. It wasn't working with me trying to help her. Cindy is very happy there now. I wasn't so sure I made the right decision for the first 2 or 3 weeks. She called me a lot those first few weeks screaming and shouting. She just wanted to come home. She doesn't like it there. Can't she just come home for the night. Things like that. I know dementia patients need their routine and we had upset her routine royally. Now she prefers it there. If I bring her home for the day, within a few hours she is ready to go back. I've asked her several times if she wants to stay overnight. Not at all. She likes her view and her friends there. For that, I am so glad. I do miss her through. Sometimes, I wish I could bring her home to live with me. But I know that isn't what is best for her. Her overall memory isn't bad yet. Short-term memory is not good at all. We can have the same conversation 5 times within 10 minutes. And some of her behaviors seem to have reverted to more childlike. I apologize for my comment getting so long. It just felt nice to be able to write to someone I thought would understand. Thanks for the great video. Miike G.

Thank you. My mother died last year from dementia. She was almost 91. She exhibited all the behaviors you describe and it was a UTI, followed by several falls that ultimately sent her into the final stages. As we reflected on the last 10 years of her life, we realized she had most likely been experiencing dementia related memory loss for years. However, she had developed really good coping skills and continued to be self sufficient until just a couple years before she passed. I’m so proud of her for her problem solving skills. She taught me so many lessons by the way she lived her life and even taught me by the way she died. A remarkable person I was lucky to call my mother and my friend.

My Mother essentially starved to death..😢 her dementia was so bad she just shut down in all ways and was bed bound. No eating, no drinking, no moving, no talking..Very, very hard to watch..but caring for her was a great blessing for my brother and me. But losing her twice, mentally and physically, really took it's toll. But we do not regret the time with her.

I am a caregiver for my 88 year old mother with dementia. I want to reiterate what you said about asking a caregiver how you can help. Caregiving on a full time basis is lonely. Sometimes you don't see other people for extended periods of time because you are at home with your loved one. For those people who don't know how they can help...ask the caregiver what they need. Time away from home for food shopping, haircuts, your own doctor's appointments, meeting a friend for lunch or taking a walk can do SO much for the caregiver. We need time away to clear our head. Please don't hesitate to ask. I'm not the type to ask for assistance, but if someone asked me what I needed I would tell them. Two or three hours is a welcome break. You suggested bringing food and that is a wonderful idea. Thank you for addressing this in your video.

My husband was first diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment in 2014. As his dementia progressed slowly, it was finally diagnosed as Lewy Body/Parkinsonism, due to exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. He's been in Memory Care for 10 years now. He has his Navy pension (served 29 years) plus 100% disability. I am blessed to be able to visit him almost daily, and he still knows me.

My dad passed away a couple of days ago. You described exactly what happened to him. He very slowly declined and was on hospice for about 6 months. Slowly started eating less and less and drinking less to the point where about a month or so before he passed completely stopped eating, we could only get him to drink a small bottle of Boost . He slept all day only getting up and sitting on the toilet for over 30 min. He also had sundowners disease. He did pass away peacefully but he would suddenly get agitated and tried to get out of bed . It was extremely hard for us to watch our father slowly decline to a shell of a person, my 6’0 over 230 lbs father died weighing only 135 Lbs. It’s heartbreaking and I feel for anyone going through this ❤

My Mom passed away from dementia and it was horrific to witness. Just like you said, she started by forgetting things, neglecting her bills, and leaving the stove one. Then I moved her into my house to take care of her. She hit a new "normal" and she had some "ok" years here. Then she fell in the bathroom. We called the ambulance and while she was in the hospital, her organs began to shut down. This was only like 2-3 weeks...she made a rapid decline. Then we got her on hospice care and she died 2 weeks later. It was soul crushing.

Thank you Julie! Hi. I am a paid caregiver for an 83 & 85 couple, married 62 years. I love them so much!! It is my honor & privilege to care for them! ❤ i find your information very helpful!!

The hardest thing for me as a caregiver was keeping up with the decline emotionally toward the end. I was always two steps behind where my mom actually was and where I accepted her to be. It was brutal.

I am dealing with this now. My husband has dementia and Parkinson's and is having cognitive decline. It's ironic your video popped up today as he is in a more confused state than usual today. Being the sole caregiver is very difficult, with no family near by. He has a friend who stops in to visit and usually 2 nights a week comes to sit with my husband so i can go to Zumba for a much needed emotional break. Watching someone decline is so very hard. Dementia and Parkinson's, I wouldn't wish those diseases on anyone :( Thank you for your video.

I helped with the care of my grandmother in the final few years of her alzheimers journey. My father and youngest uncle lived with her, but I would come daily to bathe her/clean her teeth. Ect. She didn't know who I was during that time. The last 3 months of her life she was moved to a facility 3 hours away (closer to my other 2 uncles) after she had several falls, UTI's and a bout of Shingles. When I heard she was in her active dying stage, I made the drive to say my goodbyes. Nurses said for the previous few days she was more or less unresponsive to anything. When I arrived and kneeled down next to her bed, I said "I love you grandma, now go be in peace with Jesus". She turned her head towards me, opened her eyes, places a hand on my cheek and replied "I've been waiting for you". She immediately went back to her coma like state and passed 2 days later. Even though she didn't remember me for several years, I deeply believe in that moment she SAW me and KNEW me. We had a very close relationship my entire life and that 3 months after she was moved to a facility was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing her.

Hospitalist here. I get to see a lot of those downward steps. Plus my dad died of dementia. This is EXCELLENT. Hospice nurses rock.

I showed up to watch this video and I'm glad I did. I'm 75 years old and beginning to worry about my health. Thank you for helping others. You are as close to an "Angel" as some will ever experience.

For people of color, this pressure wound or potential pressure wound discoloration may look more purple or dark brown depending on the skin tone. Thank you, Nurse Julie for this video! 🙏🏽

I just lost my daddy to dementia. He fell and broke his hip and he stopped eating and drinking. Hospice was wonderful.

Thank you... my Mom passed December 23, 2022 from vascular dementia. We did not completely understand from her perspective what she was facing. She was in a memory care facility and was kept safe and clean. She had staff caring for her 24x7x365. Constant visits and updates and strategy for care was always there. She caught COVID in the facility when was the catalyst which led to her decline. She dropped 25 lbs and never recovered. She survived COVID, but never got back what she lost. She had Hospice care and we worked with the team to provide her the most comfortable life we could. She did stop eating and drinking and passed shortly after that. I am eternally grateful for the hospice team as when they saw the signs, we got "the" call and were able to be blessed with a visit before she left earth. It was such a blessing to be able to say our goodbyes.

Momma will be 98 in April, ive been with her 24/7 for 8 yrs now i know its taken a toll on me i had a bad case of covid at New Years fortunately caught hers positive and bless pharmacy at Walmart got Paxlovid she came through. She has had Dementia for 8 years now ive been with her so happy to be able to but taking early retirement is financial burden and i am so tired pray for me. I do so love her❤ God will provide Amen!

Oh my gosh, this is exactly how my mother passed away. Her dementia progressed rapidly near the end and she just stopped eating and drinking, which eventually led to kidney failure and she peacefully died. This video was the first time I’ve heard it explained. So good to have a better understanding of what happing to my mother in the end and how dementia is the root cause.

My mom is in the late stages of Alzheimer's. Every once in a while she has a moment of lucidity. It is like the body becomes a faulty mobile phone that their spirit is trying to get through. I pray for her to be freed from this broken down body soon.

I have no idea why you popped up in my feed, but I’m so glad you did. This was an amazing and helpful video- thank you for making it!

I'm an RN. This was an wonderful explanation that everyone can understand. Thank you many people need this information.

I want to thank you for this video as I don't think you would have realised how well timed it was for me. My dad had terminal cancer and died last month. My mum had a form of Parkinson's with dementia and died 10 days after my dad. You perfectly explained what was happening in my life and for that I will be forever grateful.

Thank you so much. I cared for a woman for 12 years who was diagnosed with dementia and was a very combative individual with her daughters. The husband and I and this woman became friends and I ultimately became her caregiver. We clicked incredibly and I "got her." she began to thrive and her Dr's were very cognizant. It was so beautiful. SHE was so beautiful to me. At 12 years if care the daughters swooped in and took her to another state. She did not want to go. She was flown there (to my dismay 😭) and died 2 months later 😭 😭 😭. This "event" was what killed her I truly believe. I miss her so much. Her death was so unnecessary 😭

I was not there at the end of my mother’s life, she was in a care home 6 hrs drive away near my bother and his wife.They didn’t give me enough notice to go.I always felt bad.I had taken care of mum for a few years before she went there but had no family so had to work at my business.This makes me feel a bit better.I loved her so much.

You are doing a great service educating the general public about dementia. Thank you very much!

My 78 year old mother is in a nursing home with dementia. We first noticed her memory loss and unusual behavior in 2016. she had many tests at different hospitals and was finally diagnosed with dementia. She went into a nursing home in 2019. She was doing ok until she fell in February 2023 and fractured her spine. It was horrific as she would wake up and "forget" she fractured her spine and would try to get up and then scream in agony. It took months before she was back at the nursing home. Now she walks with a shuffle and hunched over and uses a walker. She sleeps all the time. She barely remembers my sister and I. It is difficult to visit her as she becomes highly agitated and angry and knows how to push buttons. Then just like that her mood swings and she becomes this almost exaggeratedly nice person. It is emotionally difficult to watch her decline and that she doesn't know who I am anymore as her daughter. She has a lot of sores now all over her body. Every time I visit her there is something new. I am grateful she is in a place where she is well cared for. I juggle caring for my husband who had a double lung transplant last year and now cancer diagnosis, my older sister who has paranoid schizophrenia, and my mother all while working full time. I feel guilty that I am not visiting and caring for my mother more, but I am doing the best I can with everything. I feel like my entire circle of family is dying sometimes. I am 51 and now I understand what a hard decade this is for many, when parents tend to die and loved ones get sick. I lost my step mother to covid last year. My 81 year old father is grieving. Thank you for giving this difficult video presentation. It helps to understand as much as possible!

Thank you for this video. My sister passed away from FTD and ALS Sept. 2022 after 2 years. She had just turned 59. Even though I am just seeing your video now, it is comforting to know there are people like you trying to help everyone. God bless you. I think my family members and I did the best that we could. Brenda's passing at home was peaceful, just sitting outdoors in her wheelchair on a warm, sunny afternoon. Earlier that morning when I woke up, I had a vision of 2 spirit lions, a mom and dad, coming and taking their spirit lion cub away. My sister was born under the sign of Leo and was very fond of lion pictures and sculptures, etc. I immediately knew what the vision was about, but I quickly dismissed it, saying to myself, "It's too soon for that." After all, we had only been dealing with home hospice for 2 weeks and she was even sometimes still doing her daily walks. We had taken a tour the day before of the White House to see the new Mr. and Mrs. Obama portraits. The hospice nurse had visited after we got home. In the morning (after I'd had the vision), the home health care aide came for the 1st time. She gave her a sponge bath in the bed and helped us get her dressed. She helped us walk her up a few steps to sit outside in the wheelchair. I was happily surprised that Brenda could bear some of her now 77 lb. weight as we got up the stairs. But, the vision was correct. I wheeled her around the neighborhood playing her favorite Parliament Funkadelic songs for her from my phone. After we got back, we stayed on the front porch and my other sister tried to get her to eat a little something. She motioned that she wanted to go for a ride in the car, one of her favorite things. So we were getting ready for the drive and she was impatient ......she got up out of her body and left without us!!! Bless her dear heart. Love you, BeeBee!!

My mother is seventy nine years old and was diagnosed with dementia this past October and she got a UTI and went to the hospital in a delusional state. I moved her to a better living facility that has better doctors and nurse practitioners that deal with dementia and alzheimer's. It truly is a great place. Lately, she has had problems with her legs swelling and moisture on them, and of course, she needs more encouragement to eat and drink because she no longer has the desire to do so. Since I moved her there just a week ago, she is on better medication and has much better care. I just want her happy and safe with proper medical care at this point. A good place is the key.❤

my father just passed away .. i know it was really tough for my mother. but she embraced it.. the whole process.. finally was able to get a caretaker.. a few months before he finally passed.. godspeed to all

My father passed when he was 69 from this horrible disease. The hospice nurse called me to indicate he was actively dying and once I got by his bedside, I told him it was ok and he could go home, to which he did about 10 minutes later. He had a smile on his face and it seemed as if someone was waiting on him. I found comfort in that. This was in 2010 and I have thought about him everyday since. Thank you for what you do.

Before i started dialysis, i was sent home until it was "time" i was dying (even though there is a treatment) for about a week . I wasnt hungry, i wasnt thirsty, i slept all day and was awake at night, whenever i rolled over it felt so amazing. I was comfortable and did not desire to get up. Finally, i realized id been down a long time and hadn't used the restroom for several days. I drug myself to the doctor. I still remember how comfortable and free of worry i felt while I was "dying". Im on dialysis now 10 years, but i plan on stopping and going back to that place when the time is right. It was lovely.

My mum passed from dementia a few days ago,you described her symptoms spot on,I was with her when she passed and it was very peaceful,she just went to sleep.❤

Thanks for this information I'm my father's caregiver and it's tough but rewarding to be there for my Dad.

This describes my grandmother 100%. I noticed a HUGE change in her mental state after she had Covid. Strangely enough, Dr.’s weren’t concerned about that, they were like yep, you’re positive, now how about this UTI, which she always seemed to have. It was probably six months from the time her confusion was starting to be debilitating, to her death. When she started to fall, is when she went down hill. One day, when I went to get her out of bed and ready for the day, she said, I just want to stay under my covers. She never spoke another word and was gone in ten days. She was 101… 🥰🥰

we just sent a thank you card to an ER doctor and the team in a New Brunswick ER. I think it's important to always tell people in these situations when they're making a difference.

Julie, you are a TRUE HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL !!!!

Julie, what a wonderful video. I’m an RN , and I think the photos you included showing skin on its way to becoming a pressure ulcer will be so helpful for the caregivers out there. Being a hospice nurse is a special calling. God bless you for answering the call.

That was an excellent description. Thank you! This was exactly what happened to my mom in 2021. She was 89 years old with dementia. Toward the end she did not eat, and she constantly slept. We had her as comfortable as possible. My brother was in the room with her when she took her last breath. She was a great mom! ❤

My mother was 87 and passed away from Dementia 3 months ago. Everything you said happened to her. Pressure wounds, stopped eating and stopped drinking. But it was all of the sudden. She went from walking, laughing and eating to a 180 and died within 5 months.

I took care of my mom for 5 years with alzheimer. She passed on December 12. Taking care of mom was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Everything that you just described happened and more. It was a 24/7 job. People don't understand how hard it is to see your loved ones deteriorate like that.

I think the point about accepting help when it's offered is so valuable. People want to be super heroes but the loved one needing your care will benefit from your rest too.

My father had. UTI plus fell down the same day. Went to rehab. He was already diagnosed with dementia. Was placed in a nursing home facility. Thrived for a year in facility and died from failure to thrive . He did not eat for 2 months. It’s right to the tee how it all happened. Thank you and God Bless to caregivers and staff involved in this cruel disease 🙏🏻❤️

My Grandpa died from an infection after years with dementia. The infection got so bad because no one knew what was going on. He died peacefully in the hospital with his family around him. 10 years on and I still miss him daily 😢

My grandmother passed away late last year from dementia. We saw and knew what was happening, and could only watch and wait. Spend time while we could. Near the very end, she was speaking to people that, not only weren't in the room (or even same state), but also those that had already passed. Her late husband whom died almost 40 years ago, her mother whom died mid 2000s, and my dad whom died in 2020 from covid were some of the people she spoke to before stepping over the fence.

Yes, you nailed it. My mother died of LBD. She died exactly as you described. Thank you for this video. After she died, then my father died. He died of pulmonary fibrosis 3 months after my mother. Then after that my partner of 37 years became sick with MSA-P. I am taking care of him but like you said, watching someone decline especially a loved one is extremely hard. I'm going into my 7 straight year of caring for loved ones who I watched decline and die. I cry all the time. I've cried very often over the last 7 years. Watching my partner struggle and slowly be tortured to death is like living with a broken heart everyday. I can go from thinking we are having a good day to sobbing in a flash. I don't see a future. I have survivor guilt. What horrible disease will befall me? I'm terrified my partner will die next to me in bed at night. But mostly I cry and it's sobbing unending crying.

Thank you, Julie. The explanation about the steps is very accurate. My brother and I live with and care for our 92 year old mother. It is painful to see how much she has lost, but she is still Mom.

Both my grandparents passed this way.😢 But I just want to say that I admire your strength to go on working in this field. You’ve been through so much and to keep your head above your past struggles and to keep your head up is nothing short of incredible strength. Congrats on your plaque too.❤

This brought tears my eyes, because everything she says is clear and straight-talking and true about the person undergoing the disease and the carer/carers involved. The points she covers are entirely related to my own mother, who went through the various stages of dementia, many of them later on very difficult for her - the hallucinations, the delusions, utterly real to her - and for me. There came a time after seven years when indeed at the very last stage she slept virtually all the time and declined to eat or drink. I suspect some shallow strokes also assisted in bringing her life to an end. It may not sound right, but may I just mention relief, both for her and for me on her death? Robert, uk.

My mom passed away last year and suffered from dementia 5 years. Here decline was very much like your description. Among her myriad of health problems dementia was, by far, the worst for our family to deal with. Advice from someone like you would have saved us a lot of frustration and resentment.

When my grandmother died from dementia, the hospice nurse and grief counselor sat with me in the day room and I will never forget how they talked me through the whole thing. We sat on the floor and played the board game, Sorry. The nurse asked me if I understood why grandma kept forgetting everything and couldn’t remember my name anymore. I told her yes. She continued on to (loosely) say ‘That’s what’s happening right now. Your grandmas brain keeps forgetting how to turn her body back on and how to work like a body should. This means that sometime soon, your grandma will go to sleep and her brain will forget to wake her back up again’. She and the grief counselor worked together to help my 10 year old brain understand what death was. I had never lost someone before then so the concept was new to me. Hospice nurses are truly the best.

I lost my mom 3 years ago. She fell and broke her hip. Luckily she lived with me. She was 90 and doing quite well until the fateful accident. It was so heartbreaking that after the fall I could no longer help her at home. My sister was MIA. I harbor so much guilt that she had to pass in an assisted living facility. They are wretched places. God bless my sweet sweet mama. She stayed brave. I’m just heartsick. I wish I knew how to help her better. I’m late to the game but glad I found your video!! 🙏

My BIL and sister are going through this with his Dad right now. I go help three to four times a week. I will call them to take a whole day off and don’t come home early on the weekends. While Pop is a sweet and gentle soul, it’s tiring, especially for my BIL because he has the biggest job of cleaning up after him. But my sister and I do it also. It is the most heartbreaking disease I’ve seen. But I need to show my BIL this video because he wonders if he’s doing enough. And to know that the end will be peaceful has been my prayer all along. We’re all three in our late 60s and Pop is in his 90s. Even with hospice coming twice a week it’s still a hard job. Thank you for this explanation video. God bless you.

Took care of my mom her last 6 years and my father his last 8 years. You have excellent knowledge and thank you for sharing. God bless you for all you do.

My mother had PPA and went exactly as you said. I wish our society would get over it's fear of death and let these people die quicker and not suffer so much. My mom would've chosen a quicker end rather than go through her 6 year slow death.

My mom was diagnosed in 2009 with picks disease, frontal lobe dementia (she was 59 at the time of diagnosed) however she was showing signs of something being wrong about a year before that. She was fully functional but one by one she started to lose her abilities. She was completely bed ridden and passed in 2018 from aspiration, it was the long goodbye… my father who was her caretaker was diagnosed 3 months prior to her death of esophageal cancer and it was a rapid decline. RAPID! He passed 13 days after my mom. He took the best care of my mom, she never had bed sores, he always put her first and made her priority, even ignoring his own health. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with either ❤

I’m 64yo and am my dad’s caregiver. My stepmom and sister are here, too, but they both work still. It’s hard some days as my dad can lose his temper at the drop of a hat and start yelling over dumb things. It’s difficult, sometimes, to not argue with him so that frustration gets pent up inside me. I’m also dealing with the loss of three cats in two months from a mauling and being run over by cars. Dealing with my dad and loss is so hard, but I know I must do my best for my dad. Sometimes, you just have to do what needs to be done for your loved one. I don’t really have anyone offering help nor do I have a car to go out and get away for a bit. My breaks, when they’re home, are me sitting in the backyard with my cats or hiding in my bedroom watching RU-vid channels like this. Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been struggling as to how one passes with dementia and you put my mind at ease. You’re a kind and caring blessing.

What a pleasant, respectful and informative caregiver! End of life care is among the most difficult situations to face/handle, her presentation is easily understood and followed. As an 18yrs’ service hospital tech/therapist, this channel should probably be on most viewers’ RU-vid feed!

Being a caregiver along with my sisters...this is exactly what my mom when through before she transitioned ❤

Good description, still haunted years later from my mom’s death from dementia. Didn’t know what to expect at the time, this video would have helped me.

Thank you for this description and for mentioning the needs for caregivers to accept help and take breaks. So important!

Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I can't tell you how many times my mother would yell and attack me as she progressed. I did a lot of crying. The worse thing was not being with her when she passed. She was in assisted living on hospice and the facility was on lock down because of Covid. That was 3 years ago and it still breaks my heart.

My Father Dominick died September 2022. He was in a nursing home at the time of his death. I was there every day. They gave him morphine at the end… it was extremely painful to watch. I could not imagine how awful it was for him!! He suffered 3 years with it. Of my brother, sister and I, I saw him a majority of times! My brother and sister really did not Love my father as I had loved him!! Missing you Every Day Dad! Love your greatest child, Michael Anthony!!❤❤😢🙏

I went through this twice with loved ones. Julie's description is to perfection. Thank you Julie!

Thank you SO much for posting this information. I was a Hospice Nurse for years, & this information is so important to get out for caregivers and families. It is such a great tool to have RU-vid now. Your clear, supportive, short format would have been so helpful to me in the field to refer people to. Next generation teaching format is fantastic!! I am now in the age group where my friends are going to be dealing with the issues you discuss. Thanks again, Julie! And bless you for your attitude in dealing with such an emotionally difficult job. I know it's really tough! You are a modern day Hospice Champion!

One of the best and most important videos I’ve seen on this difficult subject. Thank you for this. You are an angel.

The world needs more people like Julie.

Thank you-for much need info on caring for sick people. I did this for my mom with no knowledge beyond my decent common sense and with basically no help. But knowing what to expect in the different stages of “decline” would have been a blessing to me. Painful but a blessing to have some insight. Thank you again

People like you that are involved with this type of work are angels. So much caring , compassion and strength. I couldn't do what you do. Thank you.

Great sobering advice, I needed this. I'm 64 and have close relatives in their 70s, 80s and 90s, so this is heavy on my mind. Thank you for mentioning that caregivers also need some TLC, so pleased that is recognized these days. I was educated about hospice in the 1980s, I Love those hospice folks! Angels on earth!

You strike me as a very compassionate person. Thank you, Julie!

Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you! Your videos have helped me so much while taking care of both my parents on hospice this past two years. They were both on hospice for a year first my mom then my dad who just passed away this February. These videos were such a blessing!

Best advice is to accept the help you’re offered. We all need to hear that ☺️

Im grateful for your videos. Dads 85 with dementia. He's so sweet. But falling lots lately and not able to control his bladder. Im worried but im ok. Im emotional ready but logistically not. Going to start seeking more services and advice of how to proceed. We cant afford to move him to a care facility and don't want to yet. Pray for us as we pray for you all. Blessings

My friend is going through this right now. Thank you for your clear explanation of what is happening with the end of life dementia process.

This is such a terrific video. Thank you, especially for the tips at the end ❤

You are such a godsend to me!! Thank you so much, Nurse Julie!! I am a full time caregiver to my mom who is in advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, and in this short video, you have answered so many of my questions. Please please please continue to do your good works in creating these invaluable videos…you are helping so many of us who are going through extremely tough times!💕🌷🙏

Thank you Nurse Julie! What a relief can be to hear your words and your explanation. My dad passed one month ago, the diagnosis was dementia. Yet today after one month, me my mom and my two sisters are not able to understand how it could be possible to pass in such fast way. We hope only that he was not in so much pain, for sure it was a pain for us four to see him in such continuous degradation path. Only at the very end, last hours of the last day, he seemed peaceful, his face did not show any pain. I miss him a world, but on the other side it is a relief to know that he is now living somewhere else in peace without any pain. Thank you again Julie, your videos are giving a lot of insights for whom is trying to find answers.

I went through this 11 years ago with my mom. I wish I had this information when I was going through it. Thank you.

I work in a senior community where I witness the slippery slope daily. You are spot on! Thank you.

You're an angel Julie.....We went through this with my wifes mother and it's exactly as you explained. Hre care was top notch by other angels like yourself. God Bless and Thank You for what you do!

My 90 year old mother died one year ago after a tough journey with dementia. As an adult through her life, my mother had suffered anxiety and PTSD due to childhood trauma and unfortunately we were very challenged trying to help her with many anxiety related issues as she deteriorated from her dementia, right to the very end. Her doctor and the care team considered her quite complex in regard to "mental health and management of that". As you have described, in the last weeks of her life she struggled to eat and drink and eventually stopped. Not long after that she deteriorated further and slept all the time. Two days before she died, it became apparent she was actively dying. Unfortunately, it was not a "peaceful death". For approx two days, although unresponsive, never awake and showing signs of actively dying, she became agitated, restless and seemed to fight letting go. Care staff would come in and comment "she's such a fighter" "she's so strong"! Even when she finally passed, she seemed to be enduring a terrible battle. It was the furthest thing from peacefully sleeping until breathing stops. I have felt traumatized by the experience and so sad that she did not have the death I wanted her to experience. I feel that this can't possibly be an isolated occurrence. Surely there must be some people with dementia who do not sleep peacefully and just sort of slip away!?

This was good. Brief & directly to the point ! Thank you . Hospice is there , to assist the family members with loved ones preparing to go home. I appreciate the workers ! Thank you .!

Yep that's exactly what happened to my dad after he got sepsis from pneumonia. It led to parkinson's and dementia. But your videos actually helped me know what to look for and how to deal with it. It was actually very helpful.

What a well spoken and kind person Nurse Julie is. The world is so much better with angels like her in it. Thanks so much for the tips and advice ♥

I’m a nurse specialised in geriatric care and I can second every word you say. I can’t say it as well as you do though. I’m sure this will help a lot of people coping with the slow and painful loss of a dear one. God bless you!

I haven't needed to go to a hospice in quite some time. I randomly came across one of her other videos on why we shouldn't be afraid of death and I was hooked. This should be required watching. She delivers it with such a compassionate tone, for everyone.

Thank you for sharing. Living in a different continent and then covid hit when I couldn't get home, I thank God for my brothers and the amazing hospice care givers. Still heartbroken, but appreciate this share. Only want the best for all ( those with dementia and their families/caregivers).❤