I love that almost everyone is a good person being kind in this but Sniper is calmly telling us all that he lives in abject poverty and is struggling to put food on the table.
Scout was able to outrun the darkness, when the sun went dark, the grass immediately died, the bird suddenly stopped The world was brought into an apocalyptic scenario almost immediately, scout being one of the few who was able to escape, aims to help those who are still alive
Evil Civilian : lets Get to the bad part ! If you die we get a five cent deduction ! Slow it down will you ! Make me a mortal Doctor ! Bad day my over paid women
Evil spy: Oh soldier, Theres nobody gonna replace you. Anybody. Laughs rip rick may Edit: This stuff is no insult to anyone in any way, Im just making the same comment in the opposite for fun. I even saluted for rick may so no worries.
Evil scout: Tries to help people in the apocalypse Evil soldier: Becomes an honest man Evil pyro: ??? Evil demoman: Starts seeing the good in people Evil heavy: Becomes an honest man as well Evil engineer: Gets tired of doing things manually and promotes anti-violence Evil medic: Sees that healing rewards more than hurting and calls people beautiful Evil sniper: Keeps his bad job because it’s easy and is looking for more work experience Evil spy: Thanks you for cleaning his suit
Spy: So listen up, boy! Or p***ography starring your father will be the second best thing that happens to you today! Scout, looking at Soldier and Heavy watching the photos: Take it!
So: - evil Scout is a volunteer who helps people in natural disasters and wars - evil Soldier is a rude, but healthy on the mind grandpa with a distaste for the US - evil Pyro is a mature waterbender (my idea) - evil Demoman is religious and sober - evil Heavy has latrophobia - evil Engineer is a minimalist drone designer - evil Medic is a well regarded battlefield medic who refuses to carry any weapons - evil Sniper is a financially struggling e-sports player - evil Spy is an honest father We're in a surprisingly good situation here overall...
I like to think he compliments himself while disguised as a member of the enemy team. *Then takes off the disguise and turns around to respond to the compliment.*
evil blutarch and redmond mann be like: no we wont fight over worthless dirt resulting in a useless war lasting decades. instead we will use the split land to built successful companies
Weirdly, combined with the first bit about everything dying, it somehow gives him some characterisation, seeming to be some kind of nihilistic healer, who still tries to help his teammates.
Scout: that spy is one of us Soldier: you are beautiful, you are everything but not a bunch of cowards! Pyro: mmph, mmmph. Demoman: Ooh I'm not going to beat you so you don't have a Twich! Heavy: I don't like this new weapon. Engineer: Yes (instead of nope) or " did your father teach you to play with matches?" Medic: I'm not fully charged! Sniper: now this, isn't a weapon. Spy: Your worthless sandwich will save you now, thinny!
Not gonna lie evil pyro would be hillarouse he think he destroying everything and killing everyone but in reality he giving lollipop to the enemy team and helping kitty getting down from three
Evil Pyro be like: *Coherent Calm Voice with a manly wallet in his locker* “I don’t like fire that much” “I’m a heater in your icebox” “Get off the point you brave men!”
“You know, hiding *will* save you.” I like the implication that spy has taken pity on his target and is basically just letting him leave rather than going to the effort of killing him.
Evil Miss Pauling: "I don't have a job for you" "Horrible work, no reward" (In expiration date) "That was absolutely no fun!" (Instead of that was so much fun after they baked the bread monster)
Negative Sniper: I'm the peasant of Australia. Negative spy: so I'll visit your father Negative engineer : Sometimes you just need more guns.. Negative spy: crying is the worst medicine Negative heavy: Stay! Sta!y Stay!
Evil Scout: Low Self Esteem Evil Soldier: Mean to his own team Evil Pyro: Strangely speaks more coherently Evil Demo: Too drunk to tell the difference Evil Heavy: Anger issues Evil Engineer: Lazy Evil Medic: Has a medical license. Evil Sniper: The definition of a camper and he knows it. Evil Spy: Gives up quickly and lets other people do his laundry for him.
Evil teams be like: "We failed! We failed 'cause we're enemies!" "DON'T. STAND. ON. THE. POINT! PROFESSOR!" "(not muffled noises)" "Goodbye to the dominatening!" "Sanvich do not make me strong!" "Sometimes you just need more gun." "Let's go not practice medicine." "Hahahaha! Bloody hell, you're FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!" "Oh, Soldier. Who will they ever find to replace you? No one."
I can imagine reverse pyro as a sociopathic murderer that in trying to kill people internally actually unintentionally helps them in every way possible
Good ending: Ze hurting isn't as rewarding as ze healing. Bad ending: Ze healing isn't as rewarding as ze hurting. Neutral ending: Ze healing and ze hurting are equally rewarding.
Scout : Helps people despite the hardships he faces Soldier : Hates you Pyro : ? Heavy : Hates the medic Demoman : Confused about his religious beliefs Engineer : Doesn’t like guns, prefers peaceful ways to end fights Medic : Thinks you’re beautiful Sniper : Hates his job and is begging for food Spy : Very helpful and grateful
Scout, Medic and Sniper are much, much more helpful in the iteration: Scout and medic literally help people as their day to day job, sniper gives career advice. Spy on the other hand, is very polite
"Doubtfully, and then he wont be here to avoid us so dont listen up girl or Bible starring your father wont be the first best thing that didnt happen to you yesterday"
Scout: Saving whoever he can after an outbreak of the anomalous Soldier: Saying goodbye to someone he cared deeply for despite their lack of ability Engineer: Warning someone of a law enforcement robot that shoots on violation of any law (carrying firearms is illegal in the future) Sniper: Complaining about his unsuccessful career trying to be a CS:GO AWPer Spy: Warning someone not to fight him, then thanking them for the hit money (it'll cover cleaning his suit)
