That Time We Weaponized Dolphins 

"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man- for precisely the same reasons." -Douglas Adams

As a Canadian, I support the use of cute animals for the purpose of deletion of the enemy. Heck they don't even need to be cute, just look at our warmoose.

I have long harbored a secret desire to teach an octopus sleight of hand, lock picking, and knife fighting.

Fun fact: used to work on one of the two bases that still use them to this day. Cool stuff to watch the trainers do their thing with them.

One step closer to sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads.

I can’t fucking love America enough

Dolphins are motivated swimmers cause they move with a Porpiose

Remember that time we tried to weaponize dolphins? Pepperidge farm remembers.

3:07 that sounds a little forced blink twice if you're being held at gunpoint by a dolphin

97 I was a deckhand on the ferry to Coronado in San Diego, quite a few mornings a zodiac with navy bros would pull alongside, and ask me where their dolphin is?? I would watch as the dolphin played hide-and-seek with these guys throughout the day. The dolphin would come back for fish and then tour the bay again. It was funny and fascinating, Of course the dolphins were there to make sure no one touched their boats.🐬 I heard after Navy service a lot of the dolphins went to what I call whale jail, more commonly called SeaWorld.

Between you and King Trout, I’ve learned a whole lot about Dolphin warfare in the last few days

We already have killer dolphins. Technically killer whales are just really angry dolphins..lol

Seems like missions that could be done by the average Marine Corps private: “Swim around until you find a mine.” “Swim around until you find an enemy diver.” “Bite/hump enemy diver to death.”

We still have these. They actually got used on a humanitarian (dolphinitarian?) mission back in 2017. Here was the headline: "Navy Dolphins Get a New Mission: Saving the Vaquita Highly trained military dolphins have been dispatched to round up the last 30 vaquita porpoises and (hopefully) save the species from extinction."

The most controversial part of this program was the Navy placing something called a Zyn pouch into the dolphin's rectum, which they claimed improved performance.

Red Alert 2 remembers attack dolphins

Hey I just wanna say I appreciate you mandatoryfunday, thanks and keep up the good work!

Dolphins on the 4th: Vietnam flashbacks intensify

I promise you war raptors would be a thing if it were possible.

It’s been amazing watching you blow up and am so happy for you. Your short give me life, but I am freaking loving your longer form content. Don’t give up if it feels less “successful” at the moment. You will keep blowing up and I think your videos and editing is so great!!!!

I love this type of content. Also you look great today! Keep it up!

The CIA's Acoustic Kitty is one of my favorite examples of bringing the Cold War to animals.

Lip... or Beak, whatever dolphins have. Gold, you made my day with that comment.

His shirts working extra hard

Q: What's the scariest animal/drug combination? A: Viagra dolphins.

I absolutely appreciate the format of information in which you share with others in this real time presentation . 👍🏽😎

My favorite kind of content on RU-vid the rahhcoon kind damn it

I'm more surprised that I wasn't subscribed. I get your videos all the time. I guess for once the Algorythm is feeding things I like.

I know a load of people that aren’t worth one dolphin

It was Military Dolphinse…

Is... this... the reason why Red Alert 2 from my childhood has dolphins on the Allied (basically NATO) side?? (PS: the Soviet side has mind-controlled giant SQUIDS!)

What about tactical squirrels?😮

Bro went full Dr. Sues at 6:40. Lol.

Your humor & videos are a gift in these messed up times❤thank you sir&thank you for your service that allows complete idiots to have the freedoms they(me)have❤

Fuck yes

I thought the video description said “It’s Time We Weaponized Dolphins” 🐬 I was like heck yeah dude only thing left is frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their frickin heads but then you had to go and take the high road

And the day they thank us for all the fish, were fubared on a stella level👽

Yes. Another "Animals of War" style video Thank you, sir.

Bethesda, Maryland... It just works...

"geeeeek" "geeeeek" geeekeeek" had me dying LMAO!

I can imitate a dolphin. It sounds horrendous coming out of a human, but accurate.

Zipper was the evil dolphin 🐬 in Flipper right? Man seems like reading aloud isn’t very high in our DOD budget… 😂 Love your work friend.

I'm focused on Canada's amphibious Combat Moose program.

I think we gotta expand the program, Orcas are already revolting, let’s give them a target. Also, Can you train leopard seals? They would fuck someone up. I’ve seen some smart walruses too lmao.

I want the crossover episode where an American trained dolphin goes to British waters and is automatically the King's. Just imagine him being like "Oh, hello, little dolphin, why do you have guns strapped to you, little guy? You must be American, you're mine now." (for context, all swans and porpoises in British waters are the monarch's by some old law)

I remember, I went to dive school and one of my classmates was a test dummy for the dolphins to train with. He said it was not very fun.

We need to train the dolphins to work with those new submarine torpedo mines. They find the ship and then using their natural clicks to call in the bearing.

I'm not sure how secret this was, since I remember seeing segments about this on Captain Kangaroo in the 1970s. Gave me a twisted idea about what "marine biologist" meant.

Wasn’t Darwin on Sea Quest one of those retired dolphins?

If you go to the NAVCENT page and look at the Task Forces, Marine Mammals are still listed under TF-56. EOD Techs were the primary handlers.

I rode waves as a kid where I looked over and saw a dolphin riding it next to me.

Bethesda Maryland? Dolphin artillery just works

Bud, I say this with love. Has anybody ever told you that you look like a "Thumb - Thumb" from Spy Kids Two?

I first read that as dolphinized weapons

I love your content. You remind me of the meme “are they autistic or are they mi?” (It’s cool I was mi and confused a shrink when I got out so I get to make these jokes, which are funnier knowing your mos lol)

Those two dolphins probably swam to Chile and defected to The Soviet Union. Apparently a few years earlier one of Australia's Prime Ministers did the same thing. Legend has it that they all spent the rest of their days at a Black Sea resort with all the sturgeon they could eat.

Gunna list off some actual animal programs: -Bat firebombs, WWII -Pigeon guided bombs, WWII -Elephant gun (cannon) platforms, during British occupation of India I believe -Sergeant Reckless, USMC cargo horse during Korean War -Lastly, I believe the Soviets had a marine mammal program during the Cold War too.

Sorry for not being on topic, but this seemed like my best option. Where's the video that "I'll be the whole problem" comes from? I want to submit the line as a writing prompt and would like to share the video it comes from.

BATTLE GOATS FROM THE MIDDLE EAST PLZ!

It's also hard to keep a secret when you're doing the testing in the middle of the San Diego bays/harbor (like one of the EOD units here in SD was doing)

I lived near old dominion university where scientists built some tech for dolphins to use in the field. We would hear crazy stories about some of tech and research. There was also PBS special that actually touched on the Navy dolphins, iy was mostly about the science tech side of things and how they were designing a robotic dolphin to use in the field secret agent style. (The pbs show was about robotics and animals and building artifical animals, unfortunatlyi dont remember the name.)

It's funny because you said Naval. 😁👌😂

So, it was like flipper but with guns and explosives. Sounds like fun.

Birds of prey need to be trained to be anti drone troop escorts. Drones can’t hide from them. Give them some of those steel fighting chicken talons or something.

I remember! I had a friend in the program when we were in the navy. He hated it. He said they were such assholes 😂

In San Diego - Dolphin pens are all set up by the sub base. They are a no-go for civvies - - I know, I tried.

🐬: So long and thanks for all the guns.

Weaponized octopus

Hi guys! I can tell the difference between dolphin piss, porpoise piss, whale piss, and giant squid piss by their flavor. OK? So, today we use dolphins as forward observers, porpoises as radiomen (they follow dolphins), whales for melee attack (whales follow porpoises), and giant squid for containment (they like to eat whatever the whales smash). Works better than we hoped. These animals remember the best strategies to get their food and territory as fast as possible. That’s why Putin met with Joe Biden. Vladimir didn’t learn a thing and was furious. He clenched his fists and almost went medieval on old Joe. Can you picture Vladimir listening to Joe tell him we’ve been sinking his Navy with fish? 😂

Don't touch my Dolphins

Flipper needs to defend the homeland too

We had UAVs in the 1940s being tested in Oklahoma. Not sure we needed dolphins.😊

This dude rules! I wish I had an identical friend lol

AI linked squads of mechanically augmented scorpions are next.

The double-agent daulphins collected intelligence on the Navy and then ran away to prepare for an assault.

I only like to eat dolphin free tuna, primarily because I refuse to pay for dolphin meat. That shit better be free.

killer whale + neuralink + apache radar target acquisition stuff + hellfire

Dolphins dont need to be in the military to attempt to find a way to check off the Geneva suggestions checklist. Its really telling the more intelligent an animal the more messed up it acts, humans are at the top of that list.

Don't touch our boats, unless you're a certain country and the boat is the USS Liberty.

Hey LT, dont forget to do your 4187 and send it to S1

That time we used a mutant raccoon to steal stuff!

That like ratio hitting

Weaponized dolphins can protect our boats

What ever happened to Rahcoon??? We need more Rahcoon and your son helping out around the house!!!

IS THIS THE ORIGIN STORY FOR STAR TREK'S CETACEAN OPS???

The one that is stained into my mind is the russian tank dogs.

I heard that Venezuela uses doplhins only yesterday. Id be curious as to what you cound find out about their program. Or anything animal programs you pist about.

Please do a story on the “gay bomb” program. A project that sounds like it was tested in the 1920s or 30s, but was really done in the 90s.

💯🔥

Didn't they make a show about this back in the '90s like seaQuest or something like that?

Skeletally speaking, I think it fits the qualifications of a snout.

Sea lions are good for finding mines on the sea floor. Have you seen the movie: The Day of the Dolphin starring George C. Scott

The program was shut down because the two that got away got back to the council of dolphins and they had to have a sit down with the us government

Yes I remember that and I even remember flipper

I think I am speaking for everyone on their right mind, to leave the animals -alone- in peace!

Man can you imagine how bad a dolphin would fck up a diver?!!! One could probably take out a whole squad!... Interestingly enough the Soviet union and Russia did the same thing with beluga whales, they are the nicest marine animal with those abilities...

1:52 sea lions are absolutely as sadistic, but on their own terms. They don’t care to help humans, is what I’m saying. And that’s the reason why we used to make clothing out of them. Ever seen a dolphin coat? No. No, you haven’t.

Still not as crazy as the time Carl Sagan funded a program to teach dolphins the human language by giving them LSD

I am torn.. I see both good and bad

The navy secretly weaponized the forbidden dolphin ***** jelly and used it in the raid agains Saddam Hussein's Estate.