The “90% Rule” That Puts You 100% In Control Of Everything 

Its weird. Pipes burst in my house a few weeks ago and I was on the verge of freaking out. I calmed down after a little while thankfully but was stressed for a couple days. Last week my car breaks down on me on the way to work. Seemed like a transmission issue (which could be expensive) yet somehow....I stayed calm. It was strange. As if I reached a weird point where either I was numb to the stress or I just had a feeling that everything would be fine. In the end, the issue was simple and covered by warranty so no cost for me! lol

This statement is so powerful and should be tattooed in my brain.

I am still processing the loss of a loved one - and some days I'm good, and some days grief overtakes me. Depression isn't something that I'm used to - I'm usually a driven, motivated person who is on top of her game and making things happen - but this is really knocking me down. I want to control it better, but I can't sometimes. Thank you for tip #2 - checking in - I think that will be most helpful. As long as the earth is beneath my feet, I'm okay. If you have any additional advice on how to control/move past things that would be so appreciated. I'm trying to process while still keeping my business moving forward (even though there are days where I have no desire to). Thanks M!

My husband died several years ago. Although, I've tried and tried to find work with a livable wage, I was unsuccessful. I'd find a job that was 37.5 hours, and would only last for 87 days.. (aka no unemployment). I'd finally built up some credibility working in the content marketing realm, however, my landlord sold the condo I was living in, and without a buffer, I ended up moving into a corner of a friend's art studio in exchange for doing her laundry, house cleaning and food preparation. A small space with enough room for a couple of milk crates of clothes and a stack of sleeping bags as my sleeping space. I've been feeling like a bad Disney princess mashup- Cinderella, meets Rapunzel, meets Sleeping Beauty. By reframing this from "at least I'm not technically homeless" to using these phrases I'm starting to see some light and be a bit happier inside. Thank you

I'm trying to shift my attitude about money. I'm so overwhelmed and intimidated by finances, but I'm working really hard to change that. I want to feel empowered by money not scared of it.

I have a friend who says our attitude is a lot like a rudder on a ship: it determines our direction in life. Taking even two seconds to breathe before you "react" often gives you just enough space to thoughtfully consider what's going on. BUT, when I'm triggered, I learned a cool technique called "track shifting" - where I stop, check in with what I'm feeling, then explore what thoughts are triggering that emotional reaction. Once I validate the emotions, they often lose their power. But if i'm still feeling triggered, I can ask myself 3 questions to move me forward: 1. Is this thought true? 2. Does it apply to this situation (or am I dredging up the past)? 3. Does this thought empower me? From there, I can CHOOSE my thoughts, which then trigger new emotions.

I love the video. Thank you Marie. Happy subscriber here.

Wow, I wasn't expecting that. AMAZING video. I LOVED it so much. Thank you.

Praying to my heavenly father about everything always helps to center me and propel me in forward motion.

Great video there! I want to know if it is linked with emotional intelligence and high sensitiveness? I think it is. What's your opinion about that?

I have a little lack of friends who fill me with positivity....u fill the void. Thank u.

I did not understand the "and this is what I want" passage. Does that mean that I want rain on my wedding day? I have heard the quote before, and at the same time it raises more doubts than resonate positively with me. Of course, how you react to what happens is important and there is a certain level of control that everyone can exercise over their reactions. I am not convinced that this part shapes the majority of your life experience though.

Right now I have a list of important tasks that I need to do. I feel overwhelmed because some of them feel just as important as the others, and the most important tasks are the most complicated (as usual). I'm sitting here almost shaking with anxiety as I try to write a list of what I need to do. I don't have all day to get something done but I'm procrastinating on starting one thing because I'm so scared that it's the wrong choice and I'm also scared to do the tasks themselves for fear of failure. The change in attitude for me probably revolves around committing to starting one thing even if I'm not 100% sure it's the perfect choice, because then at least I can end the day saying "I got started on one of those important tasks today"

Thanks for all the subtitles, they help who isnt native English speakers a lot .😊

* I am so fortunate that I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever. I am a single mum living in Melbourne Australia who bought my second home in September and is hoping to retire next year at 50 if things continue to go smoothly for me

When my kids are driving me nuts. .. and this is what I want. lol :)

I have recently shifted my attitude from not accepting the chaos around me and choosing today and in this moment to be happy. My recently had a self inflicted trauma which sent the family in a deep sadness, but through prayer and a shifted perception I can still see all the blessings in life

For me it was writing in my gratitude journal each night before I sleep. Before was getting depressed about the things I didn't have in my life and so the journal helps shift that focus into something positive.

Long ago and far away, I learned that the only tow things I could control are my time and my attitude. Tried to post on your website but the page was taken down,

This is a great video because you are absolutely right. It's all about attitude because that is the only thing we can control...how we react to things & how we approach things. Sometimes, we get worked up for no reason when we don't have to & cause ourselves stress & anxiety because we create this fear in our minds. I think when you realize that you have 100% control over your life & no one is doing anything to you, then no one can hurt you. We create our own victim mentality because we allow others to make us feel unworthy or inadequate....or we just don't know how to control our temper & respond with calm assertiveness. Always keep your emotions in check instead of your emotions controlling you!

I don't know how to stop that knee - jerk ego hurting moments , when you respond on your own, or you dont even get to know and someone is hurt and then they become rude to you. Like family or loved ones. ?

You always inspire me to live life better. Marie, because of you I've got clarity in my life. You empower me all the time. You're just amazing...

awesome video, thank you being consistent.

Fake it till u make it life is trash especailly when ur deformed

I totally agree....*)! I love this quote too. I tend to spit out the/my truth with no limitations, what I like about myself on one hand, but on the other hand I had to learn that my words are often too powerful for a lot of people, esp in my private life. A lot of people think it's great to have such a powerful tool, but there comes a huge responsibility with it. Responsibility also includes to control what comes out of our mouth. What still is a bit hard for me from time to time, is to find the balance between my private life and my work life, because I am paid to 'spit out the truth'. So I am really used to it, that people appreciate it. But in my private life, I still have to work on it. ps: Yoga saved me too....*))) Thank you for your video and have a great week Lia

Hey Marie - thank you for all you do! I have a question - were you always this good on camera? What was it like in the beginning?

10 years ago when I used to go to college at 1 station there was this quote.. life is 10% how u make it and 90% how u take it.. but awesome video.. need to keep reminding our selves about this over and over again.. nice dress.. looking really sweet.. in a nice way! .. I am an entrepreneur in a start up like u already know there are times I think of quitting and then I step out .. look at the broader picture.. and step in again.. really helps.. thanks again.. keep up the great work

truly love this!!! 💗💗💗💗

Marie has the BEST style ever

6 weeks ago, I was leaving my mechanic when a car came out of nowhere and tboned my car on the driver side. It's been a stressful mess and a test of my attitude and perspective on life. The greatest shift in my attitude that could make the biggest difference is my attitude towards this situation and what I can do to make my life better. Thanks Marie for this message!

This post was sooooo timely!! Thank you! Thank you!

Just an aside... I thought his name was pronounced Chuck SwinDAHL. Hmmmm. Maybe? (Either way... every time I hear anything from him - I LIKE it!!)

I loved this video:-) I used to read this quote to my high school students at the beginning of the year when I was a teacher:-) Great wisdom! Take care---- Brandis

This is absolutely right on. I love this.

April 15th (aka Tax Day) of a few years ago comes to mind. I awoke to my cats freaking out and I discovered it was b/c their litter pans were floating like tub toys in a flooded basement . "Ok, I said, stay cool girl, water's not higher than your Wellies. You got this" and I called Home Depot to have a submersible pump ready for pick up. Then I called the plumber to get on his schedule. Before bedtime, I'd already realized I needed 1 more tax form for a city where I worked an extra part time job for a few weeks. So, I needed to drive to that municipality to pick up tax form to complete and mail before midnight. "No prob, I tell myself, you got this too." With pump & 100' of extra hose riding shot gun in the SUV, I head 20 minutes west for the tax form. On the exit ramp, I realized I'd be stuck at home w/o groceries (shopping was superseded by flooding this day) while I waited for plumber. "Should I eat carbs, or not?" I ask myself. "Screw it, it's a sucky day so far, a Panera cinnamon crunch bagel & coffee is in order & en route to destination." A red-faced elderly man was eyeing me as I smeared a pat of butter on my bagel at the condiment stand. Seconds later he launched into a tirade about my weight, that I should be on The Biggest Loser - and asking everyone in ear shot to validate his opinion, that I have NO business eating a bagel...yada yada yada. Panera was packed at this hour of the morning and all heads turned to witness this surreal verbal assault. Housewives and business women rushed to my rescue, called for a manager and escorted the old man to a corner. (Now mind you, I had lost 65# @ this point, but in a ski jacket, Wellies and 'I'm dealing with a flooded basement and surprise taxes today t-shirt, jeans & ponytail, I was admittedly not at my best). But, nothing warranted the bullying I was subjected to. Clearly the man had issues. I didn't have the time to let this play out. I had to get taxes finished and anchor the Tidy Cat cruise ships sailing across the laundry room. With tax forms in hand and Panera just as easily accessible east bound as it way the other way, I did stop back. The place had emptied after the ruckus. The manager, a tall blonde guy with the stature of a football lineman, couldn't have been more profusely apologetic when he saw me enter and offered anything to make up for the inconvenience. I asked for a coffee & bagel to replace what I'd left behind in hast. Explained the context of my day and headed home to wade into the depths of the flood waters and watch in wonderment as the little pump sucked gallons of H2O up the steps, down the driveway and into the storm drain. "I said proudly to myself, you got this girl!" Now that was a day where I exercised 90% of attitude about what happened to me. Because, of course, I had wicked cramps that day too!

Hello Marie, I am Prawit from Thailand i like this watching your channel.Its very funny and i can improve my English skills too.

Reminds me when I was in a Cambodian Jail Cell and I told my cell mates I liked it. Free food, free shelter cool friends around me. The more people talk and complain to the guards, the longer they stayed. lol.

Marie..........if you're reading this........I enjoy your videos. Can you tell me which book that you obtained the quotes from Mr. Swindoll? I googled him and noticed he had several books out and I also noticed that he's a preacher. I'm not interested in being preached to about any particular religion because I've studied just about every major religion on my own. However I would like to read the book that you quoted his words from. Thanks in advance.

hiee there beautiful soul!! I love your videos they helped me alot. Faith in god is the only thing which kept me going. Faith in whatsoever happens to me is for my betterment kept my attitude positive even in the worst circumstances of my life.

WTH..This is ridiculous man! How can you say "this is what I want"? That is a total lie and your mind will reject that instantly especially since it's obviously not what you want. Better to say "Everything is working out for my highest good. And out of this situation, only good can come." - Louise Hay. That's a much better feeling positive honest word that'll instantly make you feel better - I think. This whole conscious movement and so many people get a little bit of awakening and all of a sudden start to teach what they don't yet understand, smh! So many LOA teachers now and we have to be careful to filter out garbage. Thank you though.

A shift in attitude at work would make the greatest impact in my life. I'm very reactive and my boss has talked to me about it. I say I don't care but it could be ruining my reputation inside and outside the company without me knowing. If I want opportunities down the road, I need to start where I am today.

Maria, hi! I"ve just run into your channel, so I'm kinda a newcomer here. But I looooved your content so much. Pieces of advice you're giving are super functional for me. But I still have a zone in my life that I can't cope by myself. It's somewhat a leaking hole that annoys me but I can never handle it. You see, I am a super ambitious person, striving for success, with lifetime goals and blah-blah-blah. But all these puts too much pressure on me so that I literally buckle under it. I can't make it through emotional burnouts and turn into a total mess every now and then. For instance, I'm at the uni now. I am a solid student with almost straight As. But still, each time I am facing an exam, I can't stop freaking out. It feels like I know nothing and won't be able to succeed. I have sleep problems because of this, eating habits get ruined, I can become antisocial and aggressive (tho I am an extrovert for the most part), and I always cry and moan for solitude. I do understand that it is because of my attitude, and I want to change it. Cuz living like this is a torture. This has been for several years already 9I mean I've always been fussy but not on this level). It all started after I graduated from the school and moved to another city all alone. Hopefully, you'll read my comment, but if not, still wanna admire your job. Thanks in advance. And again, I adore your content. It is refreshing for so many people. Thank you for all

I feel that everything that has been said in this video is very well put, yet the first tip lacks practical application. 1.The 'hold that tongue' tip is impossible to do when people are fired up and meditation is really hard for majority of people to engage in , so it is often rejected as applicable (real) possibility. 2. Check yourself along with the checklist of questions(Am I ok in this moment? Am I breathing? Is my heart beating?) is a good tip for mental hygiene., especially when anxious or in a stressed situation. 3. Mantra 'Say this is what I want' is also a tip for non tragic yet everyday situation. The tips 2. and 3. can be very practical, so we can try them and see whether are helpful.

Watching this episode this morning, and my 3 year old (as she is eating cereal): "THIS IS WHAT I WANT! THIS IS WHAT I WANT!" What? She was listening :)

In my opinion, your best video ever...courageous , intelligent, and full of heart! Yes ma'am!!

I have had many negative situations that had big impact on my life so 10% was not my intention more like 20%

Wow! This is my first ever comment on public platform. And behaving like a cat who closes her eyes while drinking milk...( Also maybe she knows that .. that is the best way to do so) I am just confessing as if no-one is reading this... The one attitude that can have an enormous positive effect in my life is that.. I am someone who believes and goes by the saying 'cleanliness is godliness' and like to keep everything in order as that gives me peace and inner calmness.. yet.. when I see my family people rubbishing things here and there and don't keep things where they are..despite my several efforts to tell them.. explain them why it should be clean... I end up getting frustrated and mentally drained and punish myself by being depressed and also throw myself deep in dumps of guilt for having reacted that way with my own people.. and the cycle is just vicious and vile... After zillion trial and error methods of confirming my own realisation I have reached a point where I can simply say to myself that... "I got two choices now.. either I screw up my mood and mind and further my life wasting on sitting and thinking that things are going to get cleaned ( inside and out) on their own or people will just read you and do it.. because it's not going to happen.. or just think of it as opportunity and take that to my advantage of becoming more resilient and strong by calmly doing things without any complaints... This little shift will transform me.. I know... Hence I shall JUST DO IT!! God this feels good 😊 thanks for bringing this up

Very concise and true. However, when dealing with people with psychological issues and disorders who are critical, sticky and generally resistant to communication and compromise, should I still invite the attitude of, "this is what I want"? How should I best frame those situations and stay calm, cool and collected? My frustrations are growing by the day and I've got to get my expectations and thus, my temper, under control.

When things don't go my way, i usually react with a negative attitude. i'm slowly teaching myself to keep calm and let things BE, even if you're in a bad situation. just be present and be mentally ready for whatever challenges that await.

Saying "am I ok?" is all well and good, at that point, but when you find out your kids being bullied, then all that goes out the window. 🤷🏻‍♀️Am I right??

I want to change my attitude in my relationships. Often I say and do things that are irreversible out of stress. Even though I might've hurt some friendships, its important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. I can't change how those people feel, but I can change how I feel about myself. I'm done punishing myself because deep down I know that what I did isn't bad. I was naive at the time and I have to forgive myself. The world isn't small. New people and experiences await. If old people can't grow with me, then it's time to say goodbye.

People must speak the truth all the time. All the people. this is the first thing a parent must tell to her (his) child, a teacher must teach a student. "Do not lie" If they ask why? the answer is when you lie you and other people suffer. So if you wan to be really happy in your own life "Do NOT LIE" So when those children become politicians , or judges or teachers they know that they must speak the truth that they must be objective they must be fair.

good advice. sometimes youtubers, politicians, and other people will talk and not really say anything. I subscribed to ur channel

Like me

I'm 17 I'm glad I understand and realize this stuff now compared to most people. My life will probably be pretty great ;).

My work. When I am stressed out about people around me being stressed out about how to cook food quickly I just need to breath and say, I'm here because I want a job that flexibly gives me what I want in order to do my schooling and live the life I want.

Marie, you teach us so many fabulous and deep concepts, you are such an inspiration. But girl, I just gotta say that HAIIRRRR is just soooo pretty! Keep doin this amazing work! Thank you

Hi... Can you tell me what book the quote of Charles Swindoll came from? I would like to purchase the book. Thank you!

When someone (could be a stranger) acts mean, hurtful or crazy I remember people aren't born bad..... Something happened to them, it couldn't have been good. I can be tolerant of them and not participate in the behavior.

Hardships in life-- annoying questions, situations-- i could become more forgiving of myself and have an attitude that just accepts the situation

The human body is the most advanced and intelligent thing on earth. when people are themselves and have the right education and the right environment for humans, people know and can see the right path for themselves. If a girl or a boy is taught that money is not everything then you will not have young women marying older man just because of money. ETC, eTc

Working my third job to finance my dream job! I need to look at it as though I'm getting paid to market my own business!

After a very bad day, this is what I wanted to hear today!! I will surely follow your advice. Two thumbs up!!

Thanks for being so inspiring Marie!

I am working on shifting my attitude towards my personal development and career.

she taking this real estate class again after missing the test by a few points AND I WANT THIS😯

I had to listen to this over and over just for the first few seconds about the hair in the English accent 👍😂 excellent post 💯 attitude!

I love this video (and Marie’s dress!) and this is what I want! For real. Thank you!

Where can I find that quote from Chuck Swindoll? Is it from a book?

You have some beautiful clothes your dresses our beautiful and your hair is beautiful just like you

My mantra...that and "how you do one thing is how you do everything"...working on holding the tongue

The area of my life where I could use a different attitude is towards meditating and working out when I think it's difficult

As a form of meditation I practice on Dhikr .Meditation with rewarding benefits

I like the video, and this has to be the way of living life successfully. Thanks.

At 2:55, what exactly do you do when you meditate? Thanks!

Or people say means things to you out of nowhere...I appreciate your videos

terrible kind of american positive thinking ... again and again and again

I so need to work on holding my tongue. That is probably one of my biggest issues.

I would like to embrace rejection with a smile and the opposite person is fine that he / she dislikes me.

pad now fruit busy mine soil leap circle reference reservation egg.

If I was more calm and collective. I could have gotten her back

I love you, Marie, but I don't see how saying "and this is what I want" when someone is drilling outside my house would make me feel any better. Am I missing something? Thanks

You give me a lot of motivation. Thank you (comment from a girl in Vietnam)

@5:49, quote on attitude by chuck schwindle.

WOW... did I need to hear THIS! Crap happens - and, yes, I move on... but I dwell on "this isn't where I SHOULD have been" "this wasn't what was SUPPOSE to have happened" "I was GOING to be THERE with THAT...and someone ELSE is in MY spot". Honestly... I'm doing great. I've made the best of what I was given (see - even THERE I was relating to the past.... ok let's try it again....). I am going a way I have chosen to proceed, and I am knocking it out of the park. I CAN and WILL be successful in anything I put my mind to - and I am putting my mind to THIS!! (I need to watch this video over and over and over and over!)

Today onwards there will be no maybes with me. “This is my decision and I will attack until the outcome is mine”! NO ONE WILL PUSH ME AROUND! NO ONE WILL TELL ME WHERE TO GO OR WHAT TO DO! If I want something I will go after it with EVERYTHING I HAVE INSIDE ME! This is huge shift in my attitude. Thanks Marie.

Marie is the Queen B!

isn't that like "numbing" your emotions

Aaaaah Forleo!! Powerful Woman! ❤❤❤ (Portuguese okay? Eu acho que você não existe! Loved❤)

Marie, I love your dresses. May I buy them all from you?

My insecurity about not being adult enough.

Great topic and tips... thanks!!

i love you Marie, thanks for your insights.

I am 27 and currently taking care of my 99 year old grandfather. I feel stuck as though I'll be here forever while all of my friends and family progress in their life. I feel as though I am a failure and will never accomplish my goals in life. I need to realize it's my attitude and fear that is holding me back, and not my circumstances

Your timing sometimes... freaky! Recently, I've worked on a conscious attitude shift at work (despite administrative changes that have lasted 6+ months) and I've seen changes in myself and among colleagues that just make me more committed to this idea. Thanks for confirming... and you didn't even try ;)

Yes, I like this video very much. Always in the "on spirit" of writing my PHD Thesis, I will achieve my PHD Degree next year in September. :) Thanks once again for lifting my Spirit:)

Awesome as ever, Marie :) Inspired by "The Hunger Games Mockingjay - Part 2", May the positive attitude odds be ever in OUR favor :-)

Thank you so much Marie. I follow your video, subscribed to Copy Cure and admire your teachings for my business S&H Youth, a youth mentoring career organisation I have started, but this video spoke to me on a personal level in regards to another part of my life. From this day onwards, I am going to change may attitude towards that particular circumstance; for my own well being and to hopefully bring positive change. So thank you again! Love your work! xxx

Omg beautiful & intelligent 😲

Haha, love your videos! For some reason, the way you edit these reminds me of the show Scrubs: good-hearted, solid content with a tinge of humor and big imagination "mmmm LIFE PIE!" haha, because that's definitely what I was picturing in my head when you said that. I love that you have fun with your show!