My husband and I met at the office. I was a junior computer programmer and had to share an office with another lady and a row of filing cabinets. He was a senior system analyst and had his own office. He used to pretend to come to my office to look for something in the filing cabinets so he could talk to me. We ended up being assigned to the same project and found out we were so compatible. We started dating 2 months after that. He proposed 3 months after we first kissed and got married 5 months later.
This is the kind of experience that I would love for myself. When you meet someone lovely and you click and it’s easy and there’s no fear or gaslighting or hard work. It just happens and you feel like you’ve won the lottery
My dad taught me that if a guy is interested in you, you'll know it. You dont need to call, plan dates, pick you up, etc. When you make it too easy they soon lose interest. Took me a long damn time to realize it too. Finally wised up, and are celebrating 21 years married this month.
If he doesn’t approach, ask you out, or continues a strong connection, ladies don’t waste your time. STOP hoping and let go of the Luke warm guys who just don’t have the guts to move forward. It only puts you in the drivers seat begging for attention. So many men get away with very low effort while women are out here improving our looks and our lives only to settle for a guy we feel sorry for. If you can’t take rejection, and if you’re not willing to put yourself out there and get hurt, dating and marriage is just not for you. I love this channel, but I’m really starting to notice that the only thing that is ever discussed is how women should contort themselves to appease men, when the sperm always chases the egg, it’s the law of nature🙏🏾
I totally agree it's ridiculous that we should just nod along, always agree, atching what we say so we don't hurt their ego. Though they can ignore all our efforts. Dont notice my nails or hair done and new clothes. No wonder I'm exhausted and I'm only 42. I'm yet to meet a man under the age of 65 who means what he says and has manners. Oh and dosnt jump on me presuming that I'm wanting to have sex with him immediately. No I'd like to get to know you but not after that! What is wrong with men these days? Where are all the decent men Brian talks about.. personally I dont think they exist 😂 however, i can find liars and cheaters 🙄
It used to be a two-way street, ‘courtship rules’. Men were expected to be showered, shaved and dressed neatly, with good manners and a bit of chivalry when appropriate. They were supposed to know how to give a sincere compliment to a woman, always offer to pick up at least the first check and demonstrate appreciation for her efforts to look good and to be good company. This rarely happens now.
A guy I used to date asked me once, about a problem he had; 'You're good with kids... What would you do if I were a kid?' I started having alot of compassion for him, but then I felt like.. I don't wanna be his mom. I want a man, not a little boy
Or maybe he saw a mother in you. A guy has to check a girl's qualities before trying to start a family with her. Maybe you/she doesn't want kids at all or maybe you don't feel comfortable with children. He may have been thinking in his head, "Wow, she's so classy, smart, beautiful, kind...the perfect type of woman. If I want to start a family, it would be with this one (or one like this). Let me see how she might feel about kids..."
@@Gamelover882but he asked OP "what would she did if she was his mother?" That question is weird and alerting, unless he asked what would OP will do for THEIR future kids, indicating that he wants serious relationship with her and settling down with her
To be perfectly honest, a man's willingness to tell stories about himself sounds like a great barometer to use. I hate, hate, hate it when guys ask me 21 questions in rapid succession with no interest in even answering their own questions. Those guys are just qualifying me like they are checking my credit for a loan. "You got kids? How old are you? What do you do?"
I think this is fine in balance. I remember taking an Uber and asking a guy who was young and attractive about his life and he talked nonstop about his life but didn’t ask me a single thing. He gave me his number when I left and I never texted him.
@@MutedMinimalist OMG, just the other day, my Lyft driver asked me if I recommended my gym, and I did. Which caused him to launch into a breakup story that lasted my whole ride. 🤣😅
@@MutedMinimalist omg I hate this. In the past when a guy liked me, he just talked about himself or what he liked and never ask about me or my opinion, or he starts interrupting me to talk about himself or talked over me. I get guys do this when they like you but it is seriously such a turnoff. This is why I'd rather start out as friends with a little tension, but as friends in the beginning they are actually curious about who I am and take things slow so they can actually like me for me and fall for who I am. Idk if that's wishful thinking tho
@@kevinleewilliams5119 That is a lie. The majority of married men are faithful and true, because they love their wives, and are unwilling to dishonour and disrespect them, and deny their vows which they have made in the sight of God.
Please don't pursue. It will never work out long term. He needs to love you more than you love him or he'll lose interest or not put in effort after you're married
You ego is laughing. But your soul is hurted. Have compassion and love with yourself. Hug yourself as you would others. All the best for you. You deserve somebody who is also giving to you. 🤞🍀💐
If a guy asks me out, and he is pleasant and i can ask him lots of questions. I know he likes me. If he does not ask me out, i dont bother him. Why would i. One thing i have learnt never bother a guy unless he first shows interest in you.
Lots of guys learnt that lesson about women too, and we actually have a good reason for it. Women treat men they're not attracted to like dirt on their shoe if those men ever dare to approach. Men are massively more likely to respond positively to a woman making an advance, so I'm going to ask: How many times have you actually "bothered" a guy who didn't first show interest? Let's see if you've got any anecdotal evidence at all to back up your policy.
@@nonyobisniss7928 Women risk everything in a relationship and now are expected to chase it too? Why? If a man is not giving (attention and interest included), there is no point to "fight" for him because that's not our role, we are more vulnerable, naturally giving and risk pregnancy. If we have to pry our way out of being ignored and neglected in his eyes, that's dead end relationship already. We're not on the same page from the first chapter. What sort of clown family is that gonna be? A woman just carrying weight of the world on her shoulders? Sure we know men enjoy getting our attention, but what's in it for us? The men who "settle" for us just because we're there tend to be not so stoked on the relationship and just be there because it's comfort and easy access. That's just unnatural. Look at other species and their males, they try to impress, bring nuptial gifts, show off their mating prowess. That's male role. Sometimes they get rejected sure, but that's only making them evolve for the better. Princess men who want to receive, receive, receive are just not it. Sorry, but these "lots of guys" might just go extinct. You fear rejection? We fear murder when it comes to opposite sex mistreating us. We are not the same.
@JustSoph11 HAHA girl it's the exact same situation as me 😂😂 the crusty kid at school likes me and I've thought it for awhile and definitely confirmed that he matches all these signs
I'd like see a video on how to stay happy being single, without panicking about the need to be in a relationship. I want to meet a man, but don't want to feel desperate and rush into a bad relationship.
When I was young, I was suspicious of men who would ask me for my number when we first met or who didn't even introduce themselves. Why would I rick my safety or risk being harassed by giving them my number? Some people move too fast. What aggravated me the most though, was when some males (especially when I was a teenager) assumed that I should have sex with them and they'd get angry when I refused. They would say, "If you love me, you'd have sex with me." [really?? Like how would I "love" him that soon?]. But truly if he "loved" me or even just respected me, he would not put me in a compromised position where I would lose my virginity for him when he hasn't even earned that important loss, or get pregnant (and then he would casually expect me to get an abortion so that he wouldn't have to deal with it). When a guy who isn't your husband expects you to have sex with him, he doesn't love you anymore than he would a prostitute. Except he would have to pay a prostitute.
This is so true. I don't like the idea of giving my number out either or going on a date with a stranger, I know it's normal but it just doesn't sit right with me. I always say I'd rather be friends first maybe with some tension, but take things slow where he falls for not only my looks but my personality and who I am cuz he actually cared to take the time to get to know me then asked me out. And the right man will wait for you, always. If he says something like "if you loved me you would do x" that just means he loves himself more than he will ever love you and is angry he can't get whatever he wants from youl.
@navijha122 It is not NORMAL, it just happens more and more, mostly because women are still being pressured into situations like that. Listen to your heart! It's better to be considered 'difficult' than 'easy'. Serious guys won't mind (too much😉). The guys that DO mind don't deserve you!
You're absolutely right, you should never be pressured into sex or moving things along too fast. All I'll say is that there was a time or two where I asked a girl for her number after meeting her and being able to have a conversation for a good while. Sometimes when you meet a great woman, you can't just let her get away. Sure, be respectful and let things take their time. But if you feel like she is a good one, you might shoot your shot before you missed it. Fortunately, you dodged a bullet
why would you want to read micro signs someone likes you? if they don’t want to shout it from the rooftops you’re with the wrong person. you will know when someone likes you and cherishes you because you will feel it. never settle for anything less.
That's not how it works, what works for you may not work for me. Everybody is different. Some people have fears and difficulties expressing their emotions. Don't throw everybody in the same basket
About the "talking about himself", when this happens I sometimes feels like it means the opposite ; because he's talking himself up when he is with me it probably means that he wants attention/validation, whereas if he was with a girl he really liked he would want to know more about her and get to know her This makes me rethink ^^
I thought the same thing but see it this way: If he already knows he likes you, he might prioritize getting you to like him too over asking you more about yourself. He already thinks you’re interesting and wants you to think the same about him.
@@JustanotherRU-vidr771ank u! So many men always talk non stop about themselves! It turns me off but i never looked at it that way! However, going into detail about health issues and surgeries still make me run!!! FAST
I started to watch this and then asked myself as a female why I’m bothering to study men when men can’t be bothered to understand me or themselves. Ladies, don’t waste your time on men who can’t spend their time reading a little
I wanna leave this here for the ladies. Guys are afraid/fearful of the rejection. Its true, especially if the guy knows he doesn't look very good or makes crazy money etc etc, for such an average guy, after a couple of rejections could make him feel like he'd never be desired. He might give up if it keeps happening & crush his confidence. So if you reject a man, be gentle about it. So he'd still have some confidence left in him to try again. That being said, some men fear he'd be rejected when the girl doesn't know how amazing he can be or how much he adores her. So he'd bid time till he thinks he had made his case, may it be via just casual talking or whatever.
Thanks for the pov, I am always considerate if I decline. Once had a sitch where a guy waited *years* to approach and when he did I was shocked, had no idea, had friend-zoned him. Think it hurt him and then he got angry. Some guys play their cards v close to their chest or act like they don't like you to self protect I guess.
Honestly i tried to understand if he is interested and was looking for signs. Yes there were signs but i realized he was just playing around to get my attention and feel good. He is not really interested.
This really put into perspective who is showing signs they truly find me interesting versus who doesn’t. This was very insightful and gives me a few things to consider
I always stick around until the very end because every second of your videos are worth listening to. Always informative and upbeat. Thank you for all that you do! ❤
I don't know about other parts of the world but this is strange to me (an European). I recognized the behaviour of men who were attracted to me, there wasn't so much hiding, I felt it when it happened. Especially if it was one-sided. The harder part is dealing with men I'm attracted to, it always seams to go wrong when I took the action OR tryed to hide it. Liking someone who likes you back is so very rare and special in my experience.
HAHA! I am in EXACTLY this scenario RIGHT now! I noticed he's doing the EXACT things you've described in this fun video. He found ALL kinds of things (still does) that we have in "common". or he can "help me" with. He REALLY built himself up saying things like "I own a house etc.." I'M the 1 being VERY cautious bc I SERIOUSLY cannot afford to make another wrong decision. I look at it as if he loses interest before I KNOW in my "KNOWER" that He's the 1, then he's NOT the right 1. (No, I don't intend to lead him on, or take forever. I was VERY upfront w/him as to where I'm at. He accepted it)
This was good! I love when a lot of examples are used to get a point across.. like scared of rejection, friend liked u 1st, coworkers, etc. The coming up with common interests point I've witnessed and I think it's adorable unless someone is going over the top because we don't necessarily want to be w someone who is just like us. I'm taken (and loyal) but I've experienced it and it's flattering and sweet. Major turn off though if he is telling you things he thinks you want to hear instead of being himself.
I stopped dating Canadian men 🇨🇦, the mind games, the lack of honesty regarding feelings, too much!! My Chilean 🇨🇱 man has opened a whole new world of LOVE!! He tells me how he feels all day long, the affection and PDA, romantic words and care is amazing!!!
Actually it’s not that difficult to notice a man who falls head over heels. The problem is the reciprocity. There are plenty of topics that interest me and I can easily be amazed by what a man does (a job, a hobby, sport…). So when I get a conversation with a man and ask many questions or give my opinion or boost him because he’s having a bad time, I can see after a while that he’s got plenty of stars in the eyes when he looks at me and wants to see me again and stares at me like a fish in a bowl, etc… It’s quite scary. I just want to run away. Because I was just talking. I don’t want more, I’m not sexually nor emotionally attracted. That happened many times in my life. 😄
"Like a fish in a bowl" 😂 Omg, I know what you're talking about. I think it's cute but I also felt those internal sirens going off right after also. Gotta listen to that intuition. 😅
I find it very rewarding watching your series "how men secretly love you" because I can fantasize that some guys around me may love me hahaha :)))) while I'm single af and no one approaches 😂
I'm a guy who usually watches videos aimed at men, but this was pretty enlightening so will check out that series. Speaking for myself I've fallen in love with thousands of women. It's fleeting, but only because I never see them again or approach them. It's not so much that I fear rejection, but that there are so many horrible women who would make me feel ashamed for even looking at them, never mind approaching them. It's just hard to want to approach someone who can make you feel like a piece of dirt with a nasty look. I feel like if I'd got over some of these things as a young child, I could have really flourished, but for whatever reason I never felt able. I think part of it is the oppressive judgemental environment we grow up in, where at school we are tarred with all sorts of brushes every time we raise our heads above the parapet. I guess I went off on quite a tangent there, but you really should consider approaching a guy if there's one you like. You can be subtle, if you're more comfortable with that. Just having a girl show interest in us, even if we weren't necessarily interested in them before that, is a rare and special experience for many guys. If you hit it off, and find you have some shared interests, you could probably suggest spending more time together with that interest as the 'excuse'. If they like you I'm pretty sure they'd be thrilled.
@@nonyobisniss7928wow thank you for taking time and replied sincerely on my comment. I watch this series for entertaining and am not seriously seeking for romantic relationships. I find contentment and serenity in being single 😄 But i get what you're saying. I used to do so and they were thrilled, truly. Thanks again and wish you all the best!
@@nonyobisniss7928Honey, you don't fall in love thousands of times in a whole lifetime. You'll see the difference when when the right one comes along. Sending positive vibes your way. 🙏🌞
What I went through with this guy, Omg. I made my interest known and he was kind of stand offish, so I left. Then he started calling me. We got close via phone, and when I went back to visit family where he lived, he reluctantly hung out with me 3x in four months. Again, I left. Years later he came back around when he was engaged to someone else! I said yeah back then why didn’t we ever get together? He said “because you left.”🤦🏻♀️ Honestly makes me want to pull my hair out. The man I’m with now asked me out and said what he wanted. The other man told me afterwards that he just wasn’t ready. I really never understood what he meant by “ready.” Do you have to be ready to hang out with someone and get to know them better? I will never understand this.
for men being ready means being financially ready.. he has financial pressure now.. you never understood this because you know that your finance does not matter to him, but his finance does matter to you
When I was young, back in the 1970s men did approach with "I'd like to get to know you. Can I have your number?" Why don't they do that anymore? What happened?
they don't because of the fear of getting jailed for harassment and online dating was not available back then so asking phone number directly was the only option
@@Deb_deCoder Nobody gets jailed for politely and decently asking for a phone number. It's stalking, grabbing and lewd remarks that are a problem. Pity that men can't see the difference.
Wymn decide whether it is harassment or flirting based on the quality of the man perceived by her.. if the man has looks, mony, status, personality then it is termed as flirting.. but if she thinks the man does not have any of those attributes then it is harassment and the man may face the music.. that's why men are afraid.. they do not know how the wymn will perceive them.. plus it is not worthy to get insulted in public which can be done secretly in inboxes
I really like this video. I’ve been getting all of these from a gentleman. Showing off on a regular basis. I didn’t look at these signs the way you explained them. Paying attention to all of the attention I get from neighbors. That’s exactly what he’s doing. Thank you
My problem is I cannot read a guy's mind, not even his metacommunicative signs. I do not even know what I think is true. I get what I hear when he says what he feels. I'm not confident enough. Seeing is misleading. I may misinterpret the "signs".
It's hard for guys too. At least as a woman you have the advantage of the status quo being for the guy to make the first overt move. At least as a woman it's very unlikely you will be publicly shamed for approaching a guy who isn't interested.
Sticking around till the end of your videos is the best thing I can do on this RU-vid platform !...My heart thanks you everytime you post these authentic knowledgable videos :)
This disarms me as well. I had a huge crush on this really cute guy that kept dropping his pen 🖋️ around me. It was the most endearing thing in the world 🌎 to me.
My man is the most respectful person and caring in this earth. I'm latina .I call him my sweet gringo .......we show interest from each other since first date.
hahaha! Loved this one! I don't have a lot of experience with men/relationships and I found the "he will want to impress you" part particularly helpful. I was chatting with a guy online. We like the same band. He follows me on RU-vid and is well aware of the extent of my fandom for this band. Nonetheless, he was telling me all these things, like "I've seen them xy times" (well I've seen them xyz times) or that he's met the lead singer twice (I have literally dozens of photos with the lead singer). I was puzzled that he seemed to be trying to one-up me when it had to be clear that it's impossible to one-up me on this particular point. hahahaha! I understand now! Thanks!
Just ask him out ladies.. we've got ONE life... don't waste it being in your own delulu. if he likes he will accept ... be to the point. there are many men in the world... pour ur heart out, break the stereotypes.. don't be afraid of people.
The notion of a guy who would think I'm out of his league or could reject him is out of this world to me! I don't think there are any men who like me; that's probably the hardest challenge for me. Guys never talk to me and never approach me. I don't think I've ever seen that level of attitude so I suppose I could assume no man is ever interested in me! I, on the other hand have been interested in various men but I don't show it as I'm trying to look for signs first. Hearing you talk sounds more like me than guys.... I'm more likely to ask guys about themselves etc. However, the older I get, the more I'm looking for someone with intelligence and hobbies. I find a lot of men are not interesting because they're not very bright. But I believe you about giving guys opportunities to "help" you; a male friend did say that. But right now, I think if a guy chats me up, he's probably looking at the woman next to me!
He asked me for my phone number or email to send me music demos and I sent both, to which he responded "I'll send em to your email, but I'll save your number anyway :) expect random calls!" And then he called me like two days later twice haha. He's called me one more time since then since I'm going to visit him and he's taking me to a show (he bought my ticket I'm PRETTY sure it's a date) and kinda accidentally admitted he's getting a haircut before I get there to look nice for when I arrive. I was like 😳😳😳
The most interesting is that what men seem to do in order to be more interesting to a woman is exactly what makes them less interesting to me. I already know whether or not I like a guy, he just needs to try not to make me change my mind about him 😅
There was a guy I loved talking to. Both parts listening, both parts talking, showing interest and respect. It was one of the most stimulating conversations I had in years. After a while the guy started showing off, he talking and me nodding. Everytime I tried adding something he would make it about him again. Then he asked me out, and obviously I said no.
You are magical. Two major times in my life, your channel has come across my path. Subscriber for life. The work you do MAKES a huge diff. Thanks for existing!
I find most of the men in my life are honest and open with me. I love that they can be that way with me. Im the same right back to them. It makes for good friendships and much respect for each other. What ever the way things turn out. Or not. I love the men in my life. ❤
I have experienced a lot of this and can confirm it’s totally true. However, those guys are usually firmly in the friend zone and for good reason. Unfortunately, awareness can just make the recipient feel kind of uncomfortable. It was easier when I was ignorant to just keep treating them as bros! 😂
Thankyou so much, I feel I have met the most wonderful man, but I have c-ptsd, and even though I have been in treatment for years now sometimes my brain likes to throw me curveball's and i start worrying about stupid non-existent stuff Listing these signs has helped me look back on when he does these things and I can reassure myself that my doubts arn't warranted, but better than that, this video could have been describing him exactly.
You have to be careful about guys who aren’t showing much interest though even though he’s going out with you, maybe he’s hiding it, maybe he’s not interested or maybe he’s using a “player” tactic to make you feel insecure.
When a man like/ want a woman there’s nothing anyone can do because he’ll be there anytime you turn around . He’ll look at you he’ll know when you come and his face tells you he’s waiting for you to show up .
A guy i am interested in last week when we were studying together, suddenly when i took off my glasses said "Oh right, i knew something was different! They look better on you! (Than my other glasses). Felt like a secret compliment, and when walking down to the subway he was standing REALLY close to me looking at a sign so I almost accidentally hugged him cuz he was only like 15cm away from me 😂 Guys....
You keep mentioning the Viking... the guy I met last year, said he's a Viking. I'm kinda reminiscing how he was at the beginning while watching and listening to you coz everything you said is 💯 he did them all. I think he liked me last year. This year, I've no idea, maybe not anymore 😅😝
Saying he's a viking might mean he is a neo-nazi. I dated a guy who talked about being a viking...and having viking friends..that seemed ok to me since he was nordic....but then I noticed an ss pin...and we had a chat about it...done!😮
It’s totally annoying when men hijack conversations. I don’t believe they do that because they’re interested in women. Most women see that as selfish. I get immediately bored when a guy does this. Total turnoff.
Interesting about dudes talking about themselves. That's usually all I get on dating apps and on first dates and it makes me think they're just very self centered and they're more interested in showing off rather than getting to know me or build a connection.
When I like someone, I like to place mind boobytraps in order to find out who he really is. I'm not doing it to harm him but to understand him and make a choice. Often, I am teasing them and treating them with mild jokes. If he's joining my little game, I'm in. I like to be mentally challenged, and I prefer the mind muscles. So, I will test that and his compassion and collaboration instinct first before I go further. Most of them are intimidated by my way of being, unfortunately, so I have to quit the process and lose interest. 😊
I caught someone staring at me today. I was at a swim pool facility. Inside a hot public steam room. There was a few people in there. One guy came in and kept looking at me there was plenty of seat around and he doesn't sit but he decided to sit next to me for like 3 mins then got nervous then got up again and looked at me lol and started walking back and forth... I think he was trying to make conversation but was scared.
There's this guy that i think likes me, but he hasn't asked me out. We started out as friends but i have a feeling things are taking a turn towards relationship. He always does things for me, we talk very often and he's always talking about ways to make me better(physically and materially). Most times i feel reluctant receiving anything from him because i feel like he gives me so much. If we're talking and the conversation leads towards relationships, he will immediately say that he does what he does for me for most of his friends (though i know this is obviously a lie) but that discourages me sometimes. I like him but i don't want to bring it up so i won't ruin our friendship. I think the reason he hasn't asked me out is because he feels like I'm out of his league, we're Coursemates but I'm kinda smarter in the class, so he feels like i will be into guys who are also smart. What do i do in this situation because i like him but i don't want to lose the friendship by bringing this up
What happens when a man expressed thru others that he likes you and when you express you like him, he is nervous or has little words? But when you hide your interest, the woman can get frustrated and then loses interest 😞
I have no specific " type" I just want a guy who doesn't treat me like he thinks he is better than I am. Unfortunately my now late husband was the only guy I dated who fit the bill ❤
Isn't it part of seduction too ? I get the fear of rejection but on the other side, if you were sure of everything from the start, how would desire build ?
I am listening to you Sir, I have met someone I felt in love with deep down I cam feel this connection I no he has feelings for me I feel everything he does for me he helps me, emotionally, spiritually, physically, shows me lot of love,my heart is ripping out for him but deep down I feel I am to older for him and I walk away to let him enjoy someone younger ,I love his energy I appreciates his efforts , my Gratitude go out to him for sharing love for me, and I am forever grateful I will never forget what we shared I really wish him all the happiness in life, I love him soooooo deeply I think it's my last lesson I will ever learned, Tha nk you Sir because all that you have said is True.
Gosh some guy did this to me recently and I am totally oblivious- clarified things and he does indeed like me- will see how things will go. Super helpful video!! 👍
What is wrong when a new man told me online that i am way out of his league but we enjoyed our chats enough to start going out. He has been very complimentary and tells me i am special, but when i started responding in complimentary ways you have described, he has now backed way off and hardly connects and isn't finding time to connect. I am falling asleep now about this situation.
