The Advantages of Long-Distance Relationships 

what type of flirting was that...

Many people seem to be missing the subtle, ironic lesson of the video: that is, it is easier to love someone we don't have to live with. We never have to argue about showing up late or where to set the thermostat. And we should take all the 'advantages' and lessons of the long-distance relationship, and apply them to our 'short-distance' relationship. To wit, we should not expect our partners to read our minds, we should communicate with them; we should be kind to our partners; we should appreciate our partners and not take them for granted; we should not romanticise relationships, because a lot of the problems are around silly things like how to hang towels; if we are sad, we shouldn't automatically blame our partners; perhaps we are experiencing sadness among them, not because of them. We should import all these 'advantages' and use them with the people that share our lives right now. Quite profound.

I've been with my love for 4 long years. It has been a very long lonely road for the both of us but we always stay in contact by Skyping almost every night. Being in a long distant relationship really helps you have a person you love while also being able to build yourself into the person you want to be. My girl and I are happily in love and can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. 3000 miles apart but she's always the closest one to my heart.

Plus, you can fart whenever you want.

And when you meet, you just go at it like rabbits :D

Okay ladies: how effective is the flirting technique that was in the video?

Sounds like it's written by someone who's never been in a long-distance relationship

It's also far easier to fake your death

This video makes me smile. Been in a long distance relationship for six years (UK and USA) this October. We're now engaged, and looking to move in together and get married next year. It was long and hard, but it was worth it for all the reasons stated here.

Long distance relations work on blind trusts. Its not that hard when you fall in love its just that people need to be aware of their vulnerability and the possibility that anything could happen.

This is just misleading, distance kills it eventually, you can only say "i wish we could do/be/go (insert X here)" so many times before you realize it's crushing, it's pure despair after a while. I'm sure it's far better if you're in a position in which you can see them frequently, but some have it much harder than others, work commitments, money struggles, incredible distances, other circumstances. Some of your points do hold weight, but it just ignores the incredible downsides, truth be told i would not recommend it to anyone unless you know without a doubt you can actually move closer on a permanent basis, otherwise you will come to know melancholy very well.

I'm huge fan of the school of life, but this video was disappointing. I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years and this video just didn't hit home. Communication is not always an advantage. Its actually a huge disadvantage, because more than 70% of communication is non-verbal. All of that is lost in the distance. I was super excited when I read the title, and super disappointed when the video ended and I didn't have my usual School of Life "Aha" moment. I would recommend the channel to do more research on such topics next time. That being said, I look forward to the next video and remain a true fan of this channel.

I had a long distance relationship for six years and it was one of the the most difficult things I've ever endured.

Sometimes I find that the best part of a relationship can be missing them. And you can build the relationship on more then just sex. You can have a different kind of intimacy when all you have is text, phone of Skype.

Its hard to feel like the universe dont revolve around you, when every video is a perfect summary of my current situation.

I've been in a 2 year long distance relationship before. It worked because we loved and trusted each other. The trick is constant communication but that is what ultimately broke the relationship (at least from my part) because it starts to grow on you, I became obsessed with knowing things about her and telling her everything I did. It got to a point that it became unhealthy. There was a certain imbalance of freedom and independence I guess (ironically). That and lack of physical intimacy was the end of it :(

Too much idealism can kill a man.

I'm in a long-distance relationship and I think that there are more disadvantages. The flirting thing is nonsense!

I really enjoyed this video. My girlfriend and I were living on opposite continents for two and a half years before I was finally able to move to her. You really do learn what love is when you only see each other a few weeks out of the year, and when you move in together you quickly get past all the petty things that really don't matter, because you both know in your hearts it was worth the wait.

What if my gf is in the future can such a long distance work aswell?

WTF... I was going to send this to my wife to make her feel better about our situation. Well now that I've seen it, that's not going to happen...

If you forget your partner is there when they're with you, you have the worst form of brain disease.

In every relationship we all have different kinds of problems that we've encountered but despite these problems we still have to remember the reasons why we choose to love that certain person.

I think the reason why I disagree with those who are complaining about this video is that my Italian beau and I are both fairly independent and self-assured people. We don't need each other. Because we don't need each other, there's isn't a necessity for the other person's presence. But instead, an appreciation of their presence.

I swear this channel sometimes seems to assume absolutely everyone cheats

Jealousy springs up more in long distance relationships. There's no evidence that nothing is happening on the other end. It's also difficult to keep a connection without physical contact.

I was in a long distance relationship before. I was happy at first but after a while I felt lonely and depressed. I wanted to hug and cuddle all the time but I couldn't even do that. Also, no one around me took the relationship seriously which made me feel frustrated. After a while the distance was too much we ran out of things to say then one day he told me that he met a girl close to him. The relationship ended just like that. I tried real life dating afterwards and I'll never go back to long distance relationships ever again. Dating someone in real life honestly felt a billion times better

It's either I'm a big exception, or the idea of this video is ludicrous. Me and my partner have been in a LDR for ~1 year. He lives 400 km away from me and we're not super wealthy to afford to settle in together YET. So.... I have NO words to describe how mistaken a person is who thinks LDR is an advantage. There hasn't been a day, since I fallen in love, that I do not miss him like hell when he's not with me. We see each other every 1-2 months and there hasn't been a day when we haven't communicated since we started. Still, I ache. If we have to look at the facts, the sole advantage is that I get inspired and I write and do art more. Sometimes art is worth the sorrow and that's true. Anyway, I don't want to expose too much emotionality but in this case is inevitable. Just like my partner says, if there was just one possibility, one chance for us to stay together.... we would. Only a fool would choose to keep his/her solitude and ... oh, that part how we have the opportunity to flirt freely "without many question"... I can't believe I heard that actually.... From this channel, my favourite one, such nonsense. As a young woman, I'll tell you that I feel incredibly uncomfortable when men come by start flirting with me, chatting me up just because they see me without my boyfriend. Maybe the reason for this harshness of the statements from School of Life is because the writer never tried to put himself in the position I'm in. I'm not sure which example should I give out first because they're many. One of the best things in life, which CANNOT be replaced by anything when you're single are... - falling asleep together; I have vivid and sometimes frightening nightmares and believe me, having the person I love next to me in those moments is a blessing. - Waking up together and having breakfast; - talks and walks, and chores, and TV, and music, and dances, and helping each other and together sorting out cases and issues (whether is because of a flaw someone has or a deeper issue)... Etc. That's the thing about relationships in the 1st place - experiencing the steps of life *together*, as a team. I can elaborate till forever, but here's another thing. See, I've grown with the idea that (no matter how much of a strong willed is) a woman needs a strong man to make her feel secure in the obscure world. And damn right, this is correct! I've been harassed by men, chased by a man who tried to inflict me pain because I didn't want to be with him, I been attacked and beaten by a man... all this and other happened either on the street or at outdoor places AMONG other people. THIS is one of a good reason I need my man by my side. This world is too frightening to spend your entire life all by yourself, relying only on "innocent" flirt and/or one night stands; or money over bitches etc. ... Life is 42.

And I thought 50 minutes was too far away, I feel bad for thinking that when people live time zones away

"We can benefit from what jealousy otherwise prevents us from admitting: how much it helps us to feel like desirable, potent people to be able to go out and flirt with someone else for a while without too many questions being asked: in other words, how profoundly loyal a whiff of surface disloyalty helps us to be." What on earth does this mean?

I don't think I understood anything from this video. Didn't make me feel any better about my LDR.

2000 miles isn't too bad 3 hour time difference makes me want to scream though

but... sex...

I have such mixed feelings about this. I want to believe it is something to benefit from, but reality is much more simple and people just want to have physical contact with the person they love. Not having any for very long periods of time, does eventually weight on both of you...negatively. In a perfect world - it would make us stronger, more appreciative, reflective on the intricate details of a relationship. But in reality (in most cases), it just weighs on/thins away, the bond between you. But I love this perspective and will definitely take it on board going ahead. Very intuitive. Thank you for the video.

What a cute animated video of having a partner who is miles away from us. I salute the couples who are in long distance relationships yet still remain deeply in love and constantly prove that true love really does exist.

the flirting illustration! 😂

8 months going strong

I was in an ldr, It was fun. Though something went terribly wrong. Ldr makes you really understand the person because conversations are shorter and right on the money. Also you spend more time thinking how to have quality time together. It's not just hanging out, it's an adventure every time you meet.

This video couldn't have come at a better time. Just said goodbye to my long-distance girlfriend after spending an amazing month with her physically, and was having a tough time dealing with the sudden loneliness. This made me feel better. Thank you, School of Life.

The animation was hilarious. I like this other perspective on long-term relationships. Most of the time, people say long-term relationships will never work and a lot of people have just given in to that idea. Great as always.

I loved everything about this video up until 1:10. The flirting and hiding it thing. No, just no. The woman was flashing another man I mean wth lol. I can see it being fine as long as those terms are communicated with the partner and ground rules are set. It's all about communication and consent, that is key in any relationship ESPECIALLY long distance. Honestly I find that part of the video horribly opinionated, but everything else about it is spot on and nice. But, anyways, I am happy in my LDR. We never flirt behind one another's backs (as far as I know, I have faith) and we are actually getting married soon, looking to end this distance very near in the future. We've been through some shit and growth yeah but we're better versions of ourselves now. All I can say to sum this up is, long distance truly is an adventure, a quest... challenging, exciting, and scary. My partner is from Brazil, and I love him with all my heart, 3 years strong. ❤ Loved the video, for the most part, sorry for the critique, but you've gained a sub nonetheless. ✨

So the advantages of long distance relationships, in general, are that one's ability to know the other is severely halted? That we don't know the full extent of their faults and successes? That we have limited range of thoughts of Romanticism (They should know me) and doubt(They are cheating on me)? I have to disagree here. I would rather face the full extent of reality and attempt to better myself beyond unreasonable doubt and Romanticism rather than stagnate the relationship to the comfortable ambiguity of ignorance.

yall think relationships revolve completely around sex and nothing else... shallow and disgusting

OMG I HAVE NEVER CLICKED ON A VIDEO SO FAST :') I needed this

I recently entered into a long distance relationship and I am very very happy. One of the best decisions I ever made Luckily for me this person already had plans to move to where I live!

My mother is moving out, because my parents believe that they will function better as a couple if there is some distance between them. She is only moving a few streets away, but I guess the message of this video still applies. Thanks School Of Life, I needed this.

I really dont quite get the idea of knowing that your partner flirts with someone else at the other side of the world and feeling ok.

It's the transition of a long distance relationship into an everyday relationship that is difficult. While these "advantages" are great, they don't actually foster true love, the daily loving of a person through the drugeries of building a life together. In order to achieve that through long distance requires more than these so called advantages. Love isn't just the flowery feelings someone gives you. And the most frustrating part of a LDR is that you can't be with them in the moment when something happens, to see and experience their grief, growth, happiness or struggle, having to just hear anecdotes of it later and constantly feeling a disconnect despite communication. And then when the relationship changes and the person is around permanently, the change in dynamic can be so hard to get used to

LOL this animation it"s so funny

LDR had been happening for centuries, people even used to get married and the husband go military or travels for work so it’s nothing new. It’s happening more often now as it’s becoming easier for people to connect through social media. In fact you connect more on deeper level because all you do is communicate all the time. Yea sex is important but it is not everything, you’ve got to bond first mentally and emotionally before having sex. And it important to always plan travel to see one another. I know married couple (35 years marriage) been in LDR for 12 years with visits twice a year. But you only do LDR if you really want that person and it’s mutual.

I believe This is connected to romanticism, in long distance relationships you still idealize your partner a lot, just have to share the 'good moments' whenever you can, without the profound knowing of each other manners, moods and rituals day by day.

It hurts, that's why we learn so much from a LDR.

Wow, awesome video ! Reminds me when I was in LDR with my ex-gf (now wife). Waking up till 3 am and again walking up at 5 am for office. Cursing the poor internet connection which made it difficult to see each other. Seen her so many scary poses or voice of her, not due to late night but because of very slow connection. It was very romantic and exciting moments in LDR.

im i hawaii my boyfriends in england and he's coming next month

I was just talking about this with someone last week, about how love can be ruined over simple arguing about towels or what colour the walls should be painted, I'm glad this video confirmed my own theory's

Thanks school of life, you thought me a lot in the last few months

I've always appreciated the long distance relationship

i have this tendency to feel stronger love/connection with other people when we're apart.

I’ve been in a LDR for 4 years 8 months and 10 days... I wouldn’t wish it on my enemy. We can fool ourselves into believing there are so many benefits but the sad truth is it’s a Terribly lonely way to live. I’m only still here because he’s worth it.

The art style of this video is A-MA-ZING!! All respect to the creator of this piece of work! ;) The message, as always, was beautiful and on-point, thanks SoL!! :D

I’ve been in my current relationship for a little bit over a year, the first six months of which we were geographically together. Now, we are eight time zones a part. I miss him everyday dearly, but I agree that the circumstances of our LDR are establishing the conditions for an ideal love. Someday, we will close the distance for good, and I will reflect on this time physically without him, a time when we extended our hearts across the ocean for one another when it would have been easier to throw in the towel, and I will love him more for it.

so the bonuses of an LDR is that: you won't see them; you can flirt with others and not get judged; you will most likely only hear what your partner wants you to hear; you can idealise you partner how ever you want; I'm not sold on the idea...

I was actually thinking just this yesterday while reflecting on my last love, save for the flirting part. Another thing I found was that due to the fact that the other person is so far away, they serve as a sort of escape from the every day life. The frustrations and so on associated with home are escaped through the partner, as they are of a different world, in a sense, which contrasts from the close distance relationship in which they are often intertwined with the struggles of every day life. Excellent video!

I think they were sort of trying to say that time with the other becomes more valuable, which is true. But that also made the relationship more fragile. The only thing positive about my long distance relationship, was that I learned that real relationships should be with people you can communicate with fully and be vulnerable with. And those people will strengthen and embrace you. I have to say each "I love you" I had ever told her, meant more than anything else in my life.

One adventage is that your love could not take your books and leave. Keep them!! Less people, more books! 7 billion and counting.

Has anyone behind this video ever had a long distance relationship? Because they seem to be romanticising everything that makes it difficult to be apart. Every one of my relationships has gone long distance, as have the relationships of most of my friends. They're so much harder to keep going. As a general rule, we say as TCKs that if your relationship can go long distance and survive, you're meant for each other.

This was a much needed video! You guys are the best

I recently got out of a long distance relationship, reasons being that it did not work out. We were from the same high school, and she was going to medical school abroad and I was studying elsewhere. The circumstances were that both were too occupied with school, which ultimately leads to the relationship losing its purpose (or that the romantic idea of love disappears). It would take five more years until the relationship would actually be realised. We are both certain that if the circumstances were different - as in normal - the relationship would easily be maintained (in the sense that when we are physically together, the feelings start building up again). My point being, it is unreasonable to think that whatever feelings that keep the relationship together, cannot be maintained in a long distance relationship without any considerable effort from both sides. Or it might be the case that we upheld greater expectations of what a relationship should entail.

The advantage is Bill can have sex when I'm not around.

I've been in a LDR for the past 6 years. I was 15, now 21. We met online, messaged for several months (sweet old silly Windows Live Messenger), wrote letters (like with pen, paper and weeks apart), talked on the phone, and after we met in person for the first time - best memories of my life - we were able to see each other an average of 2-3 times per year. Those were happy, meaningful moments, but sadly brief ones. The emotional backlash is quite huge. For instance, we stayed monogamous since then. "But how do you know she didn't [insert various forms of cheating here]?" Well, my hypothetical inquisitive friend, I can't know for sure but I trust her, and she trusts me. That's kind of the point, right? Monogamy worked for us; but it need not be the right (or comfortable) choice for different people. You just have to be honest with each other and with yourself, when questioning your choice to stay in the relationship. Ask yourself "Is it worth it?" often enough. Our answer has been "yes" every time, but that mostly depended on luck and, well, love. The idea of eventually being together is what helped us during difficult times, though the risk of excessive idealization and unhealthy dependance was very high. Long distance relationships are not for everyone. My friends don't really understand, but I get it. When I explain that we love each other and that for us both the pros outnumber the cons, they'll say something along the lines of "Whatever floats your boat, bro, but it's gonna be hard when you'll be together". True but, again, I feel it's worth it. It requires open communication, imagination, trust, a way to deal with nostalgia and a weird form of selective optimism. Not some generic blind hope, but a positive attitude towards the future and the hardships you two will face as a couple. By the way, she will move here next tuesday and right now I'm stupidly, impatiently happy.

There is something wholly soothing about your voice. No matter what you are talking about. I could listen to you all day.

I’ve been in a LDR for 7 months and we’ve video called for at least 5 hours every day. I think it’s a great way to get to know someone before actually meeting them. We don’t idealise each other simply because we’ve had those ‘tough’ discussions regards reality. I hope we make it. We have an amazing connection. Having spoken for over 1,000 hours has been incredible

The video makes a good point, I'm in a ldr at the moment and it's hard of course, cause I miss my boyfriend a lot, but at the same time we trust each other more than other couples and honestly talk about things we appreciate or that bother us, cause we know that it wouldn't work otherwise. I'm really proud of what we're doing and the distance really strengthens our relationship, but it only makes sense if you have a future together and always know when you'll meet next. The message is really good, but I wouldn't recommend anybody to start a ldr if you don't feel 100% sure about it. And what the hell was wrong with these animations xD

I am in a long-distance relationship and I think the advantage is real. It's like, the days when we meet are truly special and valuable, thus it doesn't really matter if we disagree on thing or aren't perfect: just being close together is something to smile and laugh about :)

The animation is HILARIOUS. I love it.

Such a beautiful animation style!

As someone who was in LDR for a year, I think it's true to a certain extent that LDR is good because it allows you to idealize and fantasize both your lover and your relationship. Especially for 20-sth who need time and space to explore their own life and the world, LDR does help us to be alone without feeling lonely. It allows us to grow up independently while constantly maintaining communication, love and care for a certain someone who might be half a world away. It teaches us many things and it might not always be bad. (Missing the other person like crazy can either develop or destroy the relationship. It depends on how both of you handle it!) Unfortunately, in the long run, if you do want to live together, things might not be as simple as you thought. Because... by living in totally different environment, gradually you lack chances to observe your lover's changes. There definitely will be changes her/himself didn't notice or noticed but didn't tell you. So, once you reunite again, both have to put in lots of effort to be really compatible again. Things should be fine if both sides are realistic and flexible. But you know... when it comes to love, people have tendency to be hopeful--- and sometimes too idealistic. Therefore I think LDR, just like any kind of relationships, has its own pros and cons. :)

This man gets away with endorsing loose moral/sexual behavior because he has just the right British accent. And a great team of animators.

I saw this video a few years back and sort of understood the concept, but I wasn't in such a relationship so I didn't know the actual wisdom that was being spoken. Right now my partner has been in detention for over half a year, and yes, it has been an awful heart-wrenching experience, especially in the beginning, but man have we learnt to communicate. In such situations it demands a lot of creativity and trial and error to enjoy the pleasures of intimacy without physically being together. I am eternally thankful for that, even if our relationship were not to last. Right now I long for times at which I will be annoyed by their sheer presence, I long for the boredom and clumsiness and complaints about toilet seats. I long for those things because it is the inevitability of reuniting, yet it will be a hundred times more meaningful than what we had before distance demanded we re-invent love.

So much relief this video brings to the separation anxiety suffered being away. Thank you!

the advantages don't make up for the disadvantages , physical love is a crucial need even if you're both not intending premarital sex ,the thing is where you hit the two or three years' mark without being physically present in the same place at least for short amount of time the distance will swallow every romantic effort you presented to make both of you closer , the very hope you live on to meet up will eventually turn into pure agony and romantic love dries up but affection stays ..

don't think long distance is good. I mean, maybe staying apart for a few weeks could bring them closer when they return, but months or years won't help

I live in Maryland and my wife lives in Finland. We will be living together finally by the end of this year, but we can both relate heavily to this.

I really love your videos and the narration is perfect. Thank You

Have been living with my parter for 5 years... We are sticky as the first day we got together 👍🏻

Eh I don't know that this is completely true, although in theory it sounds good, the fact that you can't be with someone hurts and a lot of the time ends the relationship

Great video! Loved the characters

another beautifully illustrated video, keep it up

1:18 I too flirt this way

WHY IS THE STATUE PEEING?

Never had a relationship and I'll never have one. Still: Your stuff is amazing. You know you're doing a good job when even people connect with your content who have no relation to that content.

I'm doing ldr right now. Although there are times when i missed him so much, i think that bit about 'loving is easier than sharing a bathroom' rings true to me.

I wish they came out with this vid a few weeks ago :(

I am truly in love with my best friend and have never been happier. The first 5 months or so of our relationship were entirely online and mostly through words on a screen and it was hard then but looking back now I wouldn't have it any other way. That communication and connection was like nothing else that I'd ever experienced and I know now how lucky I was to be able to fall in love with a girl solely through her words alone

It would be great if you provided more information on the artists that do the videos -- I'd love to know more stuff by them.

the flirting animation got me in giggles- love the video tho!

The amount of people who don't understand this video is disheartening. I've been in an LDR for 5 years, and this video truly captures the little things and the otherwise unspoken thoughts. I live 3k miles from my partner, and honestly I enjoy our time together in simply a different way than how I'd enjoy it if we were together in person. I enjoy the few days a year I do get with them in person, of course. I'd, naturally, prefer to live with him in person. Just because something isn't first-rate doesn't mean it's completely free of perks. You can enjoy a rainy day just as much as a sunny one, if you take the time to appreciate it. Much love your way, School of Life. I appreciate the positive coverage of an otherwise *unloved* topic.

This video did not convince LDRs are in fact good

I've been in long-distance relationships, but I broke them all off for the same reason. I may not have the opportunity to take someone granted if I don't see them very often, but I also don't see them very often. I'm still going to bed alone, so what's the point?

I'm a seventeen year old boy and I was in a relationship with an 18 year Chinese girl for almost a year. We were both still young and only in High School. Although she lived in China and I in New York, we loved each other dearly and communicated via Wechat message ,letters, phone calls, etc. The language barrier was initially difficult , but luckily she was good at English. It seemed as if all was going well as the months passed; our conversations consisted of telling each other about our days, sharing our hopes and dreams, and repeatedly declaring our love. What this video fails to acknowledge is that after awhile, this routine in a long distance relationship is very frustrating . Although moments and emotions are exchanged through phone, text, or whatever other means,this type of connection will never replace real-life, physical contact. We broke up a day before I graduated high school because she felt that her existence in my life would hold me back. Looking back, I now understand..