The Ballad of Salt-onJon 

Jon loses 1 star but then the game goes, "But wait, there's more!"

Actually, the CPU picking Waluigi is not just bad luck for Jon. The AI is programed to take items from the 3rd player first if they have an item, which makes it REALLY unfair

3:06 the bleeps make it so much better imo...

Boy, that Daisy curse sure shifted targets.

"WOW, WHAT A SHOCK AND SURPRISE, JON'S BEEN WARPED AGAIN!" had me in TEARS

Mario party DS is probably the most brutal in the series. You can literally go from dominating the board to dead last in ONE TURN.

"Dude, I fucking hate this game. I actually do! I have not hated a game this much since Mario Party 3! And that took the ending of a five-year relationship for that to happen, so that's impressive!" - ProtonJon during Bowser's Pinball Machine

The thing I love about this is that when the board ends, it reveals that out of 20 turns, Jon landed on 12 happening spaces XD

2:27 _"YOU'RE_ HAVING DÉJÀ VU?!" 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Jon was in his own personal hell during this round lol

I like how he rages at getting warped even when it put him in front of a star.

3:07 And that is why I do not trust hidden blocks... WE’RE “ALL” THINKING IT!

As much as I know I'd be furious if I got a Ztar from a hidden block, I really wish it was still a thing because it's so damn funny😂

For the record, “Daisy picturebooks” was Chugga making a Playboy joke.

The censor bleeps make this even more hilarious!

Literally the worst luck Jon has ever had in any Mario Party Board BY FAR! Second to Jon getting the koopa bank card robbed in MP3 Thanks for compiling the best Salty Jon moment in TRG history 😈 Edit: Bowsers pinball was an astoundingly BRUTAL towards Jon… I feel bad that my favorite Mario Party title is probably Jon’s least favorite game ever made Actually, it’s hilarious

Not only did Jon get his stars stolen, but also his item robbed by Kamek, while reliving the MP5 Gilligan’s Island incident.

Poor Jon. *sends him a virtual hug*

2:48 here’s the clip you were waiting for

Daisy must have smoked something to decide to put the curse on jon

3:07 Bleeps made it hilarious 😂😂😂

The loudest anyone has ever been in a library.

This board and Bowser board was peak Jon. Peak bad luck, peak comedy, peak rage.. everything was perfect

If we took Jon with all that salt, he could turn a fresh water to salt water in an instant. Poor Jon.

THE KAMEK STAR IS REAL! And I guess Daisy be like "frenemyship broken with emile, jon is my new victim".

The three bleeps in a row reminded me of that one moment from Emile's Pikmin 3 LP with Masae.

Never in my life have I've seen Jon get this upset when losing stars in this game, he cannot catch a break.

Even if Jon didn’t lose the stars, he wouldn’t have won cause he would be tied with Emile in stars but Emile would win on coins so he would’ve gotten second

so TRG just completed Bowser's Pinball... and this video maaaaaay need a sequel

I played the hell out of this as a kid yet I never knew you could even get a ztar from a hidden block! What even are the odds of that happening?

You could start a thousand fast food chains with all this salt. Poor Jon...

It maybe due to the fact that I haven’t played this game in years but I don’t remember it being THIS brutal and insane. Makes me want to find my copy and revisit it

Can’t believe Jon didn’t turn into the joker. All it takes is one bad turn 😂

4:08 Okay who here remembers when Ray William Johnson hosted Equals 3? God I was so surprised when I saw that clip. I am glad to see some reference to it in however many years it has been since the show was cancelled.

NAHHHH I KNEW THAT HE WAS GOING TO GET THE DARK STAR IMMEDIATELY AFTER LOSING ONE

Ok, was there *ONE* warping on that stage that did NOT involve Jon?

3:06 got me dying🤣🤣🤣

Then Bowser’s pinball machine comes along and literally just abuses his soul constantly

Also, this was before Bowser's pinball.

If anyone's curious, the science on the chalkboard in 'study fall' is both real math and real chemistry.

For a game where you're small, Jon's bad luck is still super big

I feel like the quote for Jon's suffering for this map was. 'This is a rile playing game, what role am i playing the f-ing victim

1:34 Tim's laugh gets me everytime

Jon just can't stop landing on that Kamek space.

I think the Daisy picture book joke was probably referring to dirty picture books. I didn’t really get it at first either.

I'm getting worried for Jon's blood pressure.

Honestly, we could feed the world with all this salt!

Great edits. made me laugh out loud lmao

Kemek’s Library aka the rise of Jon’s Salt.

1:51 Jon: Can ya knock it off? Tim: Knock it off, Fox! Nice little eference too their Star Fox 64 LP :D

Somehow, Bowser's Pinball Machine was even crazier than this

Mario Party: the destroyer of friendships

Legends say that Jon is still landing on that warp space to this day...

This game is simultaneously brutal and broken and I LOVE IT.

Timestamps for what you came for 0:00-8:45

Jon spent 60% of the game on green spaces

I think this is one instance of censoring making the clip better 🤣

Mario Party DS: I like everyone except Proton Jon...

that's the funniest video ever! 4:11

It never occurred to me how vulgar that star steal into ztar combo until 80% of it was covered by bleeping

One must imagine Jon winning Mario party

Here I thought Tim had the worst luck in the game

It's really astonishing, how much this game was just shitting on Jon!

“Then I read act thr33” 4:07

It's kind of crazy how much Mario Party DS cranks up the game's swingy-ness up to 11. Items being the cheapest they've ever been and being able to be bought in bulk on each visit to the shop means Star counts get real high, not to mention the amount of Star stealing and ways to get free Stars. If you know how to take advantage of this you can rack up huge uncontestable leads, but if you don't know or just get really unlucky (like Jon) you can get pounded into the dirt real hard.

The daisy curse has been broken

2:57 "It Begins" -Protonjon, 2022

3:05 I AM SO SORRY, JON! 4:04 THREEEEEE!!!!

This isn't even Jon's usual bad luck. The worst part about Mario Party DS is how the AI is programmed for multiplayer. It will ALWAYS target Player 3 where applicable; stealing a star? Player 3. Coins? Player 3. Items? Player 3. Only IF Player 3 is not an applicable target will the AI target Player 2. And only if Player 2 is also not an applicable target will the AI target Player 1. What this means is that Emile, playing as Player 1 the entire LP, has an actual mechanical advantage against Tim and Jon. The AI will NEVER target him unless Tim and Jon are not applicable targets. His stars are safe from the AI because the only time the AI will steal his stars is if Tim and Jon have 0. His coins are safe for the same reason, as are his items. He's, basically, completely untargettable to the AI and might as well be invincible. It doesn't matter how well Tim and Jon play; the AI will only target them. And by Jon being Player 3 on every board, that means he's always target #1 for every situation. Emile could be sitting on 500 coins and Jon on 5, but the AI will still steal from Jon because Jon has coins. It doesn't matter how many he has; the AI is hard programmed to target him because his coin count is above 0. Thus, I'd argue Jon's salt is entirely justified. The game was programmed to pick on him because of what his player number was. The only way to play Mario Party DS is no AI whatsoever.

i can relate to this anger so well cause this was my luck doing this map on story mode with the ai set to easy

Jon being salty is hilarious!

His bad luck never gives him a break.

The board really wanted to warp Jon around

ProtonJon has a Kamek's Library problem.

Yes John, release your anger. Fuel your hatred and use it to power the dark side

The Jon rage meter is really crazy I feel like he’s going to blame the game just like he did in that one tropical island he’s blaming Nintendo for giving him karma

Jon's villain arc begins

Let's do the Jon warp again!

I can't tell why, but John sounds like Dan when he's angry.

I'm So Sorry Protonjon

Maybe this was Daisy's way of payback for Jon making fun of Emile in that "Doing Daisy On Hard" stream?

Poor Jon. This game just seems to not like him. 😂

This map did jon dirty lol

When did Jon throw his DS?

From 2:49 to 3:13, Waluigi got double-pwned. OUCH

Welp, that’s one way to ruin friendship

The Ballad of Saint-John-Son

When me and the bois, do this and I'll like Chugga

I both feel for Jon, and find his misery entertaining.

2:50 Emile: Hoooooooooo LOOKS LIKE YOU CAME BACK FOR MORRRRRRRRRRRRE- Me: *YEAAAAAAAAAH, CAN YOU FEEEEEEEEEEL TIME-*

I wonder if there is uncensored version of what he said 😂😂😂

4:07 Three! 😆 🤣

Wait, don't you mean "ballad"?

This board was like 29% swearing

4:09 who's that?

You missed a swear at around 7:30

Great title name 😂lmao

0:02 I don’t get it

TWELVE?!?!?

I've been feeling awful for Jon throughout this playthrough! I just want someone other than Emile to win for once!