The Basics of Non Violent Communication 1.3 

Yes Its the same thing - empathic listening.

Yes!

I observed that all the audience members seem to be gentle people. Since I am not a gentle man, I need to see NVC in action with dangerously angry people like myself. I feel skeptical that this works with super angry people like myself.

Can you rephrase with more specificity and a positive frame? What are your needs? What *does* she do, rather than what she does not?

haha, so you are maybe annoyed, because your need for purpose or understanding how this is can help you hasn't been meet through watching this video?

Adam Lewis no, you ASSUME you know someone's motifs. it may or may NOT be true depending on a variety of factors. we haven't invented telepathy so far.

Hi Adam, yes, often we feel we know people. But our hearts are still closed to them. But that is our heart that is closed. So until we can connect, not with what their thinking is behind what they did, but with what was in their HEARTS when they did it... what precious need they were trying to meet, even when we DO NOT LIKE WHAT THEY DID, that is when the change comes. The change in our whole relationship.

It is possible to know a person's motivation without telepathy. If you disagree with this statement then you MUST oppose the western system of law because our laws are based on the idea that guilt is the product of malevolent intent. Assume that it is impossible to establish another person's intent and the Law becomes immoral.

While we are jumping to conclusions, we should also talk about free will and how that must also be assumed if the law is to remain a moralizing force in human life.

Making assumptions about people's motivations is a special form of mind-reading rooted deep in projection and insecurity. Its use typically only goes as far as self-protection or helping us feel more "right" and "justified" in our particular viewpoint. This kind of behavior creates a hardening of our assumptions (search "ladder of inference" for a look at what I mean). It distances us from the other person. We see only a created persona. 2 things we teach in the leadership and communication workshops I run. 1, always assume positive intentions. Note that's positive for the other person, not necessarily for you. But very few people set out to "make trouble" for you. They just don't consider your needs, or care about them very much, they're focused on their own. We are guilty of that too. 2, don't assume. Observe and inquire. You'll get a *lot* further.