The Battle of Vlaardingen 1018 AD 

Spent the whole meeting saying, "Dudes! I'm _right here!_ "

They must have been at a church or something, like you wouldn't be able to take advantage of the others in holy ground.

@hi there Laughed out loud ^_^

How about, like, negotiation that would avoid any military action at all? Not fashionable at the time or what?

@@Stripedbottom I think I read somewhere that at that around that time in European history, battles were how they let God decide who was right by choosing the winner. Caveat lector, I'm just some slob, not a historian.

He had nickname "Jerusalemite" as apparently he went on a pilgrimage to Holy Land around 1030

@Godd Howard 'Dolk' = Dagger. Dirk is still a pretty common name in The Netherlands

I’m waiting for the day someone is introduced with a name that translates to “That Guy”.

@Godd Howard Dirk is the dutchified (?) name for latin Theoderic. We are quite pragmatic so Theoderic is way too long, hence derik-> Dirk

@@scottvanzoomeren8067 close :P, 'Dirk' is the modern shortend form of 'Diederik', meaning 'people's ruler' or 'folk ruler'. Combining 'Diede', meaning 'folk/people' and 'Rik', meaning ruler. Theodoric is the latinised version of the name. Also the French name 'Thierry'

Rectangle battle royal!

i like it actually i smoke some kush before battles and leave the visuals to my imagination :)

WRECK-Tangles, you mean.

BattleBoxes...not to be confused with BattleBots

Fucking Blue Rectangles! Go Reds!

@@mastermirror2842 you will be surprised how little Dutch people care about history. Historyprograms in school are almost entiraly focused on World War 2 and there is no focus at all on our roots. If there are they talk about the slave trade briefly. And with our open arms towards other cultures it is even more out of commision. So nope, not a local hero for most people since our culture isn't worth anything(to policymakers, media and the general public). I envy my European ('neighbour') countries like France or Poland where their nationalistic and origin roots are strong.

@@mastermirror2842 Yea I know right! My girlfriend lived near the border and is fluent in German. She always has great stories of Germany. All german tourists I have met were always super nice and polite. The traditional food is the Best and you guys have such a rich history. Really be a proud Deutsche! Much love from the Netherlands neighbour👍

@@Emperor_Atlantis thats because almost everything in the netherlands is controlled by the left wing globalists scumbags. they control the media awell, they promote imigration and support everything that fights AGAINST the dutch culture. Netherlands is going down the drain, i know, because im dutch. Leftwing scumbags will downvote my comment because for them the truth cannot be spoken when it is a truth that does not support their views.

@@Lightningshattr You got triggered really quick there. This is why we can't have nice things, everything gets political.

@@Lightningshattr Maybe your comment gets downvoted because it's fucking dumb lmfao

Impossible to not read this in the narrator's voice

@@eagleofbrittany7231 I know, he used such an identical style

Hahhahahaaha

Carl Sailor saw an opportunity!

great show 10/10

I'd like this comment more than once if i could. Well done.

Ga godverdomme uit mijn moeras!

"GET OUT OF MAH SWAMP, GODFREY!"

literally laughed out loud

The Dutch against everyone:

@Jan Meh Poor Godfrey probably had shit all over him from trudging through the swamp. That's why no one believed he was the Duke.

@Jan Meh then he would be a King (even though i did not vote for him)

poor guy, he tried

Godfrey: I _knew_ I should have put my face on a coin!

@@frenstcht lol right, those battle's results are obvious, one with the better statue/painting made on them wins

MFW the only man who knows how I look is the opposing commander.

Soldiers: RUN! IT"S A ZOMBIE!!!!

@@Sam-wm9xh ok thanks, I'll let you know when I'm there!

More like, you've been embezzling, so corporate tells the local HR guy to fire you. Then, when he shows up at your desk, you beat him up and make a deal with corporate where you keep your job, take some of the HR guy's office space, and still get to embezzle a little.

@@UtkarshShah1 kek

And a 1,000 years later the Dutch are still kicking ass in their little swamp: dominate agriculture, genetics from flowers to horses, and reclaiming land all over the world, dropping "Pitt Poulder" in BC Canada into a numbered company and then going home for 100 years.......to wait for golf courses to become trendy. No wonder they do so well. Hard work pays and pays.

More of a case of "beggars can't be choosers". He likely knew the area was perfect for an ambush, but also knew it was practically the only way to the stronghold. It's possible the battle could have gone better for him if it wasn't for that stupid rumor. Once the troops started to believe their commander was dead (despite his best efforts to convince them otherwise), a possible victory turned into a guaranteed defeat.

it helps that the HRE is not really an empire in the traditional sense. The land Dirk took must not of been consider worth enough too fight a war over especially after Godfrey was captured (Honor and all that)

The story also reveals really well what the capabilities of the emperor were when faced with wayward vassals. Apparently he could not reasonably levy an army and go out himself. That's too expensive and too dangerous. So since direct action is impossible he could only embue other vassals with legal power and try to get them to fight the wayward vassal. Imagine if Texas didn't pay taxes to the federal government, and they had to go ask oklahoma to beat them up. It'd really hard to maintain strong authority like that, lol.

@@formgrya6927 Which is why, to no surprise, the HRE is no longer. It lasted hundreds of years longer than it should have lol.

@@formgrya6927ctually Henry's actions are perfectly reasonable and completely in line with the capabilities and limitations of an medieval European feudal monarch. Had this happened in France or England their kings would have done the same thing. The emperor levying and leading his own army was impossible for the following reasons: 1 The realm of Henry was Bavaria (modern-day south east Germany). Munich is about 750 km away from Vlaardingen. Combine this with the fact that Europe at this time has zero infrastructure (except for rivers, but Bavaria and Vlaardingen aren't connected that way) so it would take a TERRIBLE long time to reach his destination. Which is especially bad considering point 2 and 3. 2 In medieval Europe there are no standing armies. An army basically consist of all the peasants you can press into service and all the nobleman (with their retainers) who hopefully bother to show up. The nobleman have their lands and titles in exchange to fight. The peasants get nothing as they just have the feudal obligation to march to war with their lord for a maximum of 40 days a year. I bet it takes more than 40 days to march from Munich to Vlaardingen. So combine this with point 1 and before the fighting even started you already have a demoralised army that only wants to go home as they are already on warpath for longer than they should. Also while the peasants are in the army, they can't grow food. The food you and they eat and on the taxation of which you depend financially. 3 No logistics. In a medieval army no one gets paid (except mercenaries, but they are expensive so forget about them) so on every one of those 40 days each soldier marches on his own wallet. Also everyone has to arrange their own equipment and bring their own food. Can you carry 40 days of food with you? Neither can the peasants. So after a while the peasants will have to start to purchase food to survive. Peasants are so poor they can't do this for long (if at all). At that point the army starts to pillage the farms and towns along the way just to feed itself. Combine this with point 1 and what you are doing is leaving a trail of fire and destruction through either your own lands (making your own peasants hate you) or those of a loyal vassal who now has a good reason to hate your guts (and from this point on has more respect for Dirk than you). It was however customary to hand out food to troops on longer campaigns (like sieges), but that made the whole thing outrageously expensive. 4 This is what the Counts, Dukes, Bishops were for. From the days of Clovis I the Frankish kings (and their descendants, the German emperors) had more territory than they could rule. And with the total collapse of the Roman economy and taxation system they had no money to hire administrators. So instead they divided their realm in little pieces and started handing out counties (civil administrates) and duchies (military administrates) with the message: "This land is yours but in exchange you must uphold the royal laws and defend this land". So by letting the bishops and the duke deal with Dirk the emperor was simply saying: "Do the job I hired you for". Also take a look at the map to see where these bishops and duke have their fiefs located: all are located upstream of the same rives system as Dirk. This eliminates problem 1, 2 and 3. It was common in the middle ages to fight wars with troops that were on hand locally or on the border of the conflict area. 5 Priorities. A quick glance at Wikipedia reveals that around this time the emperor was in the last phase of a war against the kingdom of Poland and a continuing conflict with the Byzantines in Italy. These are more pressing concerns than a non-taxpaying count in the swampy fringes located on the other side of the empire. Let the vassals take care of that so that the emperor can deal with the important stuff.

​@@milesdavis607 Well strictly speaking, the HRE did outlast the french Ancien Régime who had solved this problem of decentralization, by way of absolutism. But unlike the french the HRE didn't collapse on its own. Instead Napoleon had to fight his biggest battle yet to end it by force.

How is 36c hot?

@@Kurogumo How is water wet?

it is hot in celsius you idiot

Oh an ordinary American corporation.

One of the best ive heard

Not just Dutch, but also Holy Roman Empire! That's great, most of the battles we hear about of the time period rarely involve them.

Yes!

By that time there were no dutch people.There were only different germanic tribes within the Holy Roman Empire.

XD

Count Dirk: *_No turnips this time, Baldrick_* S. Baldrick: *_oooh... never mind then_*

Soldier 1: "There could be hundreds of enemies hiding in the marshes. I sure hope they don't ambush us and kill Godfrey." Soldier 2: "Godfrey died in an ambush?" Soldier 1: "What? No, I didn't say-...." Everyone: "Holy shit we better run away!"

Early flat earthers, clearly. "What do you mean I'm dead? I'm standing right here in front of you, you peasant!" "It's obviously an elaborate system of mirrors and paintings, THE DUKE IS DEAD EVERYBODY! HE'S DEAD!"

The Hand God it would be mire accurate to say “IT IS A GOSTH, CALL A PRIEST!!!!”

Even in those times they had medieval trolls

@@Thraim. This s why you need an officer corps. When you have officers soldiers care about their officer not the army leader.

I was thinking the same thing ^^

-2 for marsh minus -1 for river

@@saruhan9760 -1 for marsh -1 for river -2 for embarking with less than 3 maneuver.

@@OlafJorigson I thought it's either embarking or river, but not both at once.

@@Hlodolog Well since they were just embarking, got ambushed and crossed a river, I'd say both apply.

@@OlafJorigson Well from the game's perspective i disagree with you, but from the history's perspective... well, easy to see. :)

It was a tepidly cool day under an overcast day, and Sir Beef of Wellington was roasting on an open barbecue pit.....

@@petergray2712 and in the tree shaded hills, Sir Loin and RB (Roast Beef) awaited their chance........the BBQ was about to begin. Pass the sauce.

/blushes

Lmao

Or this: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4AdcvDiA3lE.html

If you mean the province then yes, but the netherlands would not be a thing until 550 years later

@@hazzmati either way he built their foundation on that day

@@hazzmati Keep in mind that HRE was an uncommon kind of federation. Thus beginning of a strong, higly independent county (held by a direct vassal of the emperor) is "pretty much" the same with beginning of a state.

@Star Ku The Franks were a Germanic tribe that forgot their language and adopted the local Latin-based dialectic. The Belgae were a Celtic tribe whose territory was overrun by Romans, Franks, Frisians and other Germanic tribes.

@@ZeRo-bx7lp The Franks in much of the Low Countries and the German Rhineland didn't forget their Germanic language. It slowly evolved into the contemporary Dutch-German dialects around the Rhine from Lorraine to the delta.