The Biggest Loss From Opiate Addiction 

Man I watch your videos every day. I remember them sleepless nights almost 5 months ago now (I am 5 months clean on the 8th feb) and I watched all your videos to keep me going and keep me motivated through all the pain and suffering I went through, I am feel sad that you aren't here any more, when I was two weeks in and I found out you passed away it made me cry. I know exactly what you are saying too as I'm an emotional person too I'm also autistic too so I find it hard to articulate how I am and because of you I'm clean and my brother and work mates, and my best friend, all because of you guys I did it so thank you, rest in peace, you are still making miracles happen Ryan, God bless your soul ❤💙

They also gave me a false sense of accomplishment. I felt like I was taking care of so many task yet at the end of the day, nothing was done.

My soul is starting to be like, "Dude, I'm back. Let me live." Wow. Silly but powerful if you're an addict that has experienced that.

dude I know you videos are old but I just found them they are still helping me today!! thanks for kepping it real and not holding anything back!!!

Im sorry you’re gone brother, but I still watch your videos cuz they always help me. They remind me why I stopped when I forget...thanks brother and rip.

One dr said to me “your brain was hijacked” that was 10 years ago never forget love u Ryan RIP

This is so accurate iv been clean 1 year 2 months and I'm still trying to find myself again thank u for posting this!!

dude I hear u with the music thing as well as the sneezing thing..lol. and I too stopped listening to music, and started to listen to talk radio...

Excellent!!!♥️ Thank You, Ryan!!! I’m in my Second Year of being Clean, Now!!!😊 There Truly Is A Rainbow 🌈On The Other Side!!!♥️😊

It’s sad watching you knowing you passed away

That bit about forgetting how amazing music can be, hits really close to home.

I miss this man so much.! Thank you again brother for all your dedication.

Wow, I am a musician and it really did take away my love for music. I want to feel the natural high of music again.

The truth in every word you say . Man i go through this so much and hate it . Its just a functional thing now and beat myself up so much and have probably 3 people living in my head and none of them are me. I was so strong at a few points longest stretch was 6 months worked out got huge all with 3 damaged discs in my back but fought it ...then succumbed to the demon and took a few hydros thought WoW im going to go Harder on my workout big mistake..blew my arms out and shoulders. ...went to far ...they took again from me and i fell back into it taking whatever i can to numb the pain but now its my back arms and shoulders..not a even trade...smh im trying again to get my mind back to that quit mode and will...anyone that turns to a workout addict when they quit please dont do what i did . Like you said Its all a lie. The pills took my sense away to rest and not lift crazy weights i didnt feel it when i did it but i sure do now. God bless you Ryan im going to try and get my arms and shoulders fixed and try to get my soul back once again. 4th time in again and i always come back to your videos . i know i can again i just have to fight again its just harder at the moment my father just got on dialsis his kidneys failing to 25 percent. I just pray my mind can get back to that man i was . My mother committed suicide and i believe part of the will she mustered to do it was after she tried the first time she wond up on painkillers and antidepressants from the crash but i believe that it wasnt her that did it. Like you said it posses you to do things youd never do ...idk why i bleed this out in comment section but for anyone that thinks these things wont take from you think again . Im a very thankful person you do these videos and i know this one is old but doesnt change the fact its helpful . Smh i wish i never got into this again everytime it takes and takes im sorry i flooded the section . If anyone reads this and is scratching the surface of toying with these things know this ....I will take you let it and will come back 3 fold when you are at your weakest it doesnt care and your mind will tell you no matter whats going on around you that you need it. Dont ever turn back to it....I was in full on withdrawal at my mothers funeral destroyed with a million emotions and even at a place you would think your safe to grieve its there ruining your thoughts and memories. God Bless all of you souls fighting to get back im with you . Love your families and others and think about if you wanna not be youself when the day comes someone leaves you ..its more painful to know you werent really there and they leave this earth with the person you last presented yourself as not the one they knew. Sorry if i said to much Ryan and hope the best for all of you out there hurting . I had noone to talk to and just kept going ....smh

One of your best videos.

I’ve listened to nothing but talk radio and podcasts for 2 years. I’m ready to feel

Discover you today 😢 and today is my first day and it’s hell but man you gave me motivation I will continue to watch your videos

I get goosebumps over everything now that I'm in sobriety; it feels amazing.

Your ABSOLUTELY right. I'm 60 ? Going through this for 20 years. . I do live with chronic pain. I hate this. It runs my life. Can't do anything without a pill. It makes me feel normal. And i know I'm not. Thank you for doing this.

Recently watched ur videos Kno ur gone bro but still commenting coz uve really inspire me to get clean tho m not yet fully clean but ur wishes n ur luv support to us addicts will surely get us the prize n that's getting n be clean till v r alive. Will always pray fr u man. Cuz I Kno u still pray for us too..GOD will always be with you n with your family and your love ones..ty so much man...

funny u mention the music thing. ive been on opiates for 12 yrs. Every time id go into withdrawl because i didnt have money or nothing was avail, every time id hear music, even stuff id hear every day always sounded so much better. so much more meaningful. Btw im 30hrs clean and will make it! been watching your vids all day. Thx so much for what you do!

Your a legend you fully know what ur taking about. This video is so spot on im going to watch it everyday now till im clean. Im in day 2 so im not feeling so good but im fully inspired now to push through the sickness feelings. Thanks for ur videos ur helping so many people.

I've watched so many of your videos and this one is my favorite. Thanks for being a source of support when I need it.

You are not lying bro. Thanks for your videos!!

Your videos has saved my life. Much love. Rip 😢

I let a friend of mine whose addicted to "the big lie" watch your video. I think it really hit home for her. She's already suppose to do detox in a couple of weeks. It's her first time after 5 five years of using. She's scared, but it's good for her to see videos like yours to inspire her that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for opening up to the world.

this is easily one of your greatest messages! dh

You are truley a blessing..So many people across the world feel there is no hope and you have given them more encouragement and hope than they have ever had

Been watching your videos and you have been helping me out a ton. I'm a month clean an everyday is getting a little better. Never intended on commenting I signed up an account after hearing you mention how all you would listen to is talk radio and music faded away while using .when hearing you say this it was like a spitting image of me and just spot on your videos all are. Since being clean most of what's been helping me mentally when I'm feeling vulnerable is playing an listening to music and doing so does give me those little victories because I feel like I'm slowly getting my "soul" back and getting back to my true roots clarity it's a scary but beautiful thing. Thanks again man keep killing it!

i like this guy. im an old addict from the early 70's. listen to him

Miss you on this earth brother. Your videos will continue to help people for years to come just like they helped me.

dude you are so on point glad I found these videos I'm gonna watch all them.. thank you

You speak the truth. I'm just starting to get my emotions back and claiming small victories. I love music now too! Thanks Ryan.

Thank you for these videos - much needed!!

That is what is so sinister about opiates , in the beginning they are like your best friend . But then , you are gonna pay for that later , and you’ll be so sorry ! Ryan , this is a great video - one of the best on opiate addiction - so insightful ! I’ll tell you in my prayers ! Thank you .

another great vid ryan. thanks so much for all the posts. this one hits the nail on the head on some many points. i have 66 days clean now and am thankful that i have no desire for anything but life. i'm thankful for your page as it's helped more than once. keep up the great work, dave

these videos are so helpful with understanding my husbands battles. thank you for sharing!

that line you said about talk radio and not loving music really hit me man. Like somebody said below i too am a musician but havent even liked music anymore. I just listen to politics. I am really appreciating your videos. Thank you.

Great video very informative I found support from it just like every video, now that ive been off for a month it is easier now thanks man your videos helped me a lot. Keep up the work

feel you so hard on that music thing. not just hearing it but actually able to feel it again

This video sums up opiate addiction in it's entirety. Probably your best video Ryan.

I been watching your videos for couple years now and your a great human... I'm very low at using actually so low that people can't tell I use...but I want to start my week now. I just used my last bit

You're awesome, Helped me out bigtime thank you so much

U talk so much sense. ..I see myself when u speak. Still trying to beat my addiction though.ive watched 2 hours of your videos.i really am looking for some motivation to start.thank u

Thank you so much for this video and sharing your thoughts. I came across it by accident but I was/am in that place you described. Again, thanks for sharing!

R.I.P. Ryan helped me thru. this is one of his best videos.

Ryan, i watch your videos every single day, even if I have to re-watch videos. But man your stuff is more inspiring than you probably even image. You were definitely put on this earth to inspire others. I hope you keep on making the videos! ThanksX1000

You are spot on. I've been riding this ridiculous opioid ride too long... Happy to stumble on your videos! I completely understand the music thing. Look forward to watching more of your videos on here. Oh, and thank you!

Great video! Great help! Remember we are all learning! Don't judge yourselves!

Great inspiring video, love the raw emotion!

I love this video . I'm curious myself now to see who and what I am after hiding under the influence of opiates for 20 years. you are great Ryan!

you doing a good job keep up my man

I'm on day 2... Watching your videos every day to get me through it. Ive gotten this far... And I dont want to go back. But I can definitely hear the brain talk happening. Thank you so much for this video.

Is it normal for a person addicted to pain killers pretty badly to cut their significant other out of their life completely and without warning or a goodbye? The last time I heard from him was over a month ago and the last thing he said to me was I miss you and can't wait to see you, and I've never heard from him again. He has cut other's out of his life as well and there was a rumor he was dating someone else at the same time as he was dating me that I knew nothing about. It was really hard on me. Now he refuses to speak to me and I have no idea what happened or why he's treating me this way. I've tried to reach out and be supportive and ask him just to let me know what happened and still no response. We used to talk every day and about the future. Any words to help me understand would be helpful. Thank you so much

Thank you brother, that was a great video it really hit home.

finaly someone that makes sense and can relate to what im going through

Thank you. This video kept me from using again and to gain control over my cravings. At least for tonight. It is a never ending fight.

Luve you man. These days i'm still healing from opiate addiction after the acute withdrawal phase from hell, i had a dream today of my mother,(i don't even remember dreaming while on opiates), i now enjoy listening to music , my bad habit of daydreaming has came back, my motivation to live and work showed up again, but some guilt about what i've done to myself and people also suddenly showed up. YES, I START TO FEEL AGAIN, ( the good and the bad), after a 2 years of emotional and spiritual death, i'm resuscitated. THANKS, you're helping people more than you think.

I use to love reading. Not anymore. Now I talk like a dullard because my mind forgets all those beautiful words that are in books.

Thank you sooo much im about to start my process tommorow im scared because ive tried before and the pain is horrible and i work so much but watching your videos is pumping me up to get tru it

Yep I'm going through that now. Feel alive again sooooo amazing

Omg! U r so eloquent and articulate! I so luv watching your videos!! I am off suboxone for 2 years and then i dabbled with kratom...and they all suck. Its the law of the universe "what goes up will come down." It takes sooo long 2 feel good, but its sooo worth it. Thanks!! So handsome 2!

I wish I had met you.. but the lord called your name... I just want to say thank you for everything you have done..! You are 💯 percent on everything you have said from music to getting the chills while hearing music, you brought me life again. I’m 16 days clean. And never loved music so much tell I got clean. WOW!!! You will be missed by so many, but inspired so many. R.I.P 🙏🏼

Im clean now ive been through the horror and sickness im not going back there ever again. Im at day 17 this video helped me sooo much i cant explain. To anyone out there push through cos its all true we do get better. I even showed my family this vid and my parents are straight edge to the max but this helped me get them onboard and understand what im going through cos they had no idea. Anyway on and upwards. I agree with all Ryan says. Anyone out there Go For It. Get back on track. Peace.

Thank you for your videos Ryan. It helps to know that I'm not alone in this. I'm on 14 days cold turkey. I spent 3 years abusing oxy's (about 10x30's a day minimum) and fentenyl patches ( 100's). Hardest damned thing I've ever done. You are so right about losing yourself/everything. It basically happened to me. I'm really searching for the person I used to be. It's going to take time I know, but that's one of the things I still have left. Also, funny about the music/talk radio....too true. I've been a musician since I was a teenager....now it's one of the things that's helping me find my way home. Cheers!

All you've said is what I am experiencing right now... been of codeine for 5 days and this I think is one of the best videos I've seen about this topic... thanks Ryan!

In one of you're video's i just watched you said people who get clean arnt special, theyre just like anybody else. I'm almost on day 4 and as simple as that sentance was, you really helped. Thank you.

I like this video, honest, to the point. Thank you.

I Totally Agree, Ryan!!!♥️ I've got one year of clean time. Even though I live with chronic back pain, there are natural things that help. Thank You for your videos!!! You are the One that talked me into Stopping a 30 year addiction to pain pills and alcohol. Thank God, it's Over!!!♥️😊

So helpful! Thank you🙏

man the shit you said was a reality check for me it felt awesome to hear it from someone else

I got off meds and now I get chills with my favorite songs. You helped me so much and ur not even here anymore. But for some reason I feel like up there watching down on me, us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 2nd week of withdrawal of methadone and Norco :(

its really the best video i ever watched thank u

I want to say thank you for taking the time to do these video's. I went from using a shit ton of opiates and benzo's to suboxone long term. I'm now free from hell. I'm off of everything. Thank God. But, I still like watching your video's because I know I'm not the only one thinking this way. It's very sad how people go through the same thing for the most part. Being the ghost of yourself is such a scary feeling. Damn your right on. Thank you so much for speaking out to people going through this. Your awesome!

Thanks just used this video as a way to explain to my family the in's and out's of this......

Thank you so much for that story brother I been on pills for over 5yrs and it my first day of not taking them and it so hard not too when you have them right next too you but after hearing what you said it like you just described my life and I don't don't want that in my life anymore so thanks for the story again

I love your videos. you are truly an inspiration :) one day at a time.

Over $11,000.00 I have spent on Oxycodone this year alone . I am getting ready to quit and I am making a list of the negative things and I'm going to look at it every time I want to give up . Ryan , I feel you should make/asking (lol) a video that really explains your happiness in better detail . That is what I believe will help me and maybe others . I know you have made a few of them but your videos are my only inspiration at the moment . I have went through W/D and I notice when there is a goal set and a reassurance that happiness is there on the other side waiting , it motivates . Thanks for caring , Ryan .

Thank you. Sincerely thank you.

good thing you stopped. they are charging 35 for pills and 30 for dope unless you have a better connect. I'm gonna start kicking tomorrow. I did my last shot today and got rid of all my points and I've had enough so I have no anxiety about quitting. I had a year clean and relapsed about 7 months ago. herion is horrible and the people that sell it think they own you.

I wish I had been more informed. I just lost my boyfriend of 5 years due to an overdose. I did not know he had a problem. I suspected and asked him but he lied. I never saw any drugs. I feel really stupid and heartbroken that I didn't have the chance to save him. I am learning a lot by watching these types of videos. This problem is growing at an alarming rate in this country and it's the type of problem you never think will affect a loved one. Thank you for your honesty and information. God bless you.

God bless u brother

You speak the truth , i got into using because i wanted to be numb. I know exactly what you mean when you say it feels good to "feel" or be alive again . You are a good guy, i am still new to this channel but i will explore a little more haha.

Amazing advice! Ur an amazing inspiration

Thanks man!

Calmsupport you are on point. I am a current user trying to get away from them. I've damaged aspects of my life from a relationship to a possible relationship to my job my family. It does nothing but destroy everything in your life. Your definitely helping me through this. I appreciate everything your doing.

This video explained how it is he was on point on how it takes yourself away and you want to be yourself again so bad you miss yourself you want him back and not leave ever again

I like tht vid man tha music part hit me so true i get tha same way followed by a million sneezes hahaha good shit man ur a smart guy keepit up.

Okay so I just want to tell you how thankful I am for finding this video. thank you for being honest. really wish I could private message or at least talk to you personally but not sure how. I am 21 and really struggling right now. I just ordered calm support I DO NOT WANT TO BE AN ADDICT ANYMORE. I am trying so hard to keep it together. this video touched my heart truly. not trying to be all emotional but I am a 21 year old woman who is in college. I desperately want to make something of myself and I am so close I absolutely agree 150% with everything you said in this video. thank you again. hope I get the chance to talk to you one day. God bless

I understand you 1000%. I had a very rough time.

Yea! The music! I had that Friday on day #2. Today is day #4 n this is it bc my soul hurts and even in my darkest thoughts I know that there's more to life for me. Thanks Ryan your keeping sane. Well as sane as I can be right now.

second best video. thanks so much.

7th day off of snorting 70 mg of percs a day. Ryan is the best after you tubing 15 hrs a day from day 1 to find help. God bless, you’re for sure with the Angels. ❤

Thanks your video are very inspiring

I used to love music, dancing, gardening, sewing, reading.. but I stopped doing those things cause those stupid pills only allow me so much time of energy so I choose something that needs to be done instead.

5 years clean is beyond amazing! I've been an addict for 10 years. Started when I was 19 & worked for a well respected doctor. Long story short he would just hand out prescriptions to me for migraines. I slowly became addicted before I had even realized it. I can stay clean for about a month... Then cave because like you said I don't want to feel or care about anything. I don't think I know how to cope anymore.

Thanks for your video's Ryan! I personally struggled with opiate addiction for 6 yrs. It got to 600 mg plus daily, and still struggled to keep with drawls away! Your video's are spot on!! I happened to have a Dr. that cared about my future, unlike one of my Dr. who kept me supplied with pills. I asked, he gave! I went to detox, and was put on Suboxone, 12mg daily! You think only 12 mg, from 600 mg plus of oxy! IT FRICKEN WORKS!! My ups and downs are gone, no more suffering through withdrawls every three hours! After 4 months of gradually tapering down, and made it to 1/2 mg a day. I was transferred to Clonidine, it took away all the left over symptoms! 5 months clean, and I have yet to have one craving! I too was thinking about suicide! I just didn't see away out of this hell! If you need help, please talk to your Dr about Suboxone!

Hello, Id like to start off by saying your videos are outstanding and they are extremely informative I was shocked to see the small amount of views Secondly I do not have an opiate addiction, I do however struggle with smoking weed. Now I know a lot of people are going to laugh at this but I dont care. I see many cases where I feel very similar to how you describe the feelings of withdrawal. However I never graduated to anything else. I now see the problems with even smoking weed but ive been smoking for almost 5 years now. Its not difficult to stop, seeing as how my symtoms arent as severe as opiate withdrawal however it remains an issue to stay away from it. I just dont like the feeling of living sober all the time. But perhaps thats because im still currently smoking. Anyways this might seem like some complete bullshit to you but you made some great points and I dont want my life to remain in limbo any longer. Thank you so much for putting your story out there and telling people the truth about all this! You're a life saver

I have friends and family and I just want to help everyone around me RIP even in heaven you Still helping everyone. And people in the medical field yiu r helping us as well to learn how patients react as well.

Yes I agree by possession, I totally agree. In the end how it just takes over the mind and it controls everything . Yes I was very sick in the end so horrible