the black wife effect is real 

The one thing that bothers me about the black wife effect is that it's framed as something the wife did to her husband-- which puts all responsibility on the wife-- instead of the husband's voluntary, unprompted decision to take responsibility for his appearance out of respect for the partnership.

Honestly, I found this trend endearing. It’s heartwarming to see Black women being celebrated and valued in the media, especially since they are often marginalized and told they are undesirable.

Pasta and lobster cinematic universe 💀💀💀💀😂😂. The PLCU!!

Over-analysis of TikTok is honestly a great way to spend time.

This is the complete opposite of the hard wig, soft life theory 😭

Thank you as always. I learn something new from all your trend analyses. Also: “If a man doesn’t think you’re cute, that’s the end of the story. He’s not going to go on a date with you just because you could potentially have an awesome personality.” Ain’t that the truth 😢

I think it's similar to the old movie trope of the nerdy girl with glasses who later in the movie shows up without her glasses and "OMG, she's so beautiful!"

As a black woman dating an Asian man, I'm here for this trend. I love seeing black women thriving and in healthy and loving relationships. We need more of this in our media.

this is just that meme of bratz dolls with a lego man husband

Not the drawstring backpack! 😵‍💫

If the white guy is short in Pasta Lobster, would it be called "Shrimp Alfredo"?

the flavor has to be there to begin with, we just add some seasoning and bring it out 😂

I wasn't aware of this trend, but am definitely an example of it 😅

My poor (now) husband used to wear these awful khaki toms nearly every day😔 thankfully they've been unofficially retired for over a year ago. He is handsome and white so he gets away with wearing things that would otherwise make me suspect him being a tweaker. But generally he dresses in the same style with some pieces that i bought for him or encouraged him to buy.

This is just Kip's arc in Napoleon Dynamite. 😂

Verrryy important caveat: "A man with a beard that connects"

My boyfriend is white and I love this trend. It’s suppose to be fun and light hearted. Plus I love seeing love for black women no matter what race they date

Plantation Trauma.

Shoutout black women

This is true...we've all seen Napoleon Dynamite.

As. Black women I love to see my sisters celebrated. The most beautiful women in the world.

Another thing this sentiment reminds me of is that sometimes in mix race relationships, your partner might appreciate things about you that people of your racial dateing pool didn't. It can encourage you to not hide those things about yourself.

omg when you mentioned said pasta and lobster cinematic universe lol, i was "what the heck with that?!" love the term you coined. hopefully you credited for that term.

I just like seeing Black women celebrated and not bashed for once.

Justin Bieber gets on my nerves. Why isnt he dressed up for his wife? Dude dress up in honor of her make-up product

Yeah as a man I can attest to this. Haven't been in a relationship with a black woman before, but i've definitely received some much needed advice on style from the women I have been with it. It's crazy how eye opening it is when you look at your old photos and just cringe at what you used to look like pre-relationships😂 Just wanted to note that it isn't women's responsibility to make sure her man is well put together, that's his own responsibility. However I would hesitate to blame men for a lack of stylistic awareness. We've really not been done any favors as far as what society tells us to dress like to be honest. Although I think that's slowly changing.

Maybe they just glow up because they are in love in a positive relationship. Plus women are just more stylish.

“if the credit card swipes it doesn’t matter that his face card declines” FKEVEJGKAHJFNIM

The Mammie trope doesn’t apply (thank Gawd) your points on black women and the effects of respectability politics and interracial unions is spot on; along with everything else…..I enjoyed your commentary and humor💛

The article @11:12 speaks truth that's predicated on all the unnecessary dysfunction that interferes with relationships between men and women. Removing that dysfunction would lead to both men and women feeling similarly about being in or out of a relationship. It would prevent situations where women feel happier unmarried due to breaking away from some traumatic past relationship. Factors, such as motherhood or being a mother figure to non-biological children, give women an advantage in finding contentment outside of marriage, in addition to still being able to find a man to date without marrying or living with him. This societal context contributes to women's greater happiness when being unmarried or "single" compared to men, in the type of society we live in.

i love your production! this is so well thought out and entertaining

your channel is my fav & i honestly love how you speak and present topics. i would love to get a maragrita on the rox with youu and hear you go on about tiktok trends

im a bw dating a mexican guy and neither one of us know how to create an outfit that doesn’t include a black tshirt or joggers so this trend doesn’t really work for us but it’s a cute trend nonetheless lmao

Your segmented affect of the “how” & “why” is greatly appreciated, thank you 🙏🏻❤️👑 It’s so nice to see a transition of couples who are enjoying the life together. So in conclusion you are a tremendous asset for the youtube communities coming together 🥳🙏🏻👑 We certainly are in need of more togetherness now more than ever, thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I need to read that psychology today article cause AIANT NO WAY

i just have to say- i love you so much, not in a creepy way, but I deeply appreciate your brain and the poise you bring to these topics. truly inspiring, i wanna be like you when i grow up.

I feel black women give them a new level of confidence. When I was dating an Asian man, I noticed he stared to stand taller and more confident.

Your delivery of of this video is sooo good, the script is SCRIPTING

I think this is a cute and fun trend. Seeing black American women in loving and healthy relationships brings joy and happiness to my heart. This trend is refreshing.

I'm so sorry but Amanda you look absolutely stunning in this video. I'm always enamored of your beauty but my gosh girly, you're glowing in this video.

Just dropped off half the wardrobe of my white husband’s closet. It’s Goodwill’s problem now. Great changes coming soon. 🎉😂

Fantastic commentary. I also love your humor

Very efficient synopsis. Great job.

This was a wonderful & consise analysis... 🙏🏾Thank u

You’re legendary for this 😭

The 🛏️🔧 mentality is real ‼️

You are one of the best content creators on RU-vid!

🙏🏽🌷 I love this TikTok trend because it's fun, positive, and shows happy couples. Seeing other black women happy and love brings me happiness as an American black woman. Peace and love be unto all these couples.

I think it's fun seeing the before and after..I 😘 seeing black women Hapyp ❤❤

*Never* been in a relationship? wait how fr you're thoughtful & stunning

I will give a lot of credit to the ladies and gents in these photos for looking great, but there are a number of context differences in the before and after photos. Before: Taken by a (probably) guy friend or is a selfie, the man is much younger (some awkward teen shots), candid shots, variable lighting, more casual situations or just hanging out. After: At a later stage in life so more mature, at formal events and in formal/smart attire or a full on professional photo session, indoor lighting, at a venue like a hotel or place with a dress code and these photos were probably the very best of the photos taken. Also, they have a person beside them who they love and appreciate and who loves and appreciates them back. That's a natural glow (up). 😊

Not the drawstring backpack 😂

great take!

5:58 “Put the athleisure down, we are getting margaritas on the rocks, we are not going rock climbing”😂

Very happily married to my Kenyan wife. 😊

You are just sublime Amanda, thanks for the video :)

Great video. I think it's also important how confident you can become in a relationship. Clothing is one of the best ways to affirm a person's gender. Before you're in a relationship, you need to come off a certain way and however you want to portray yourself will be dependent on the people you're around. I think that when a white masc is in a relationship with a Black femme, the way they want to affirm their gender will change to make them feel more comfortable in the relationship, or try conveying their gender in a new way. The whole Pasta & Lobster Cinematic Universe (lol) is fascinating to see unfold. Anthropologists will be eating all this up a few decades from now.

your dress is so beautiful and compliments your skin, hair and background beautifully

I think this is more a function of social adaptism, where people in close continual proximity become more similar in behaviors. Most American men are not trained or educated on style, but most women have some form of routine and a better understanding of style. I think a man having a long term relationship with someone who is put together the men will osmotically pick up similar behavior over time.

Daughters of the Trade is alive n well in 2024!….#Dontgetchoppedup!!!

Let me just say that I commend everybody for staying mostly positive in the comments. Many people are trolling about this subject and it's sad. I understand that people have constructive criticism but the trolling is getting old. I'm an old white dude that have seen my best years behind me but I've never seen this much anger & hostility towards seemingly innocent couples. This video is enjoyable to watch with a good perspective. Great job!

Thats a real thing. The balance is love, appreciate and fun. I've had a white boyfriend. I laughed most of the time. Its like a new everlasting bestie, except the mother and father in laws.

Not the white woman asking for a BW to help her out. LMAO. I love a funny woman.

They all looked fine before getting with their black wives, this trend is so cringe. 🤦🏿‍♀️

It is about time Black women are getting their due for the amazing people they are and the swag they help their men to achieve.

“The black wife effect” makes me viscerally pissed 😂… happy for black women being happy but it just seems real “look I have black girl”

Welcome to the Jungle, where the males are the ones with the pretty feathers and bold stripes, antlers etc. Human males try their hand at this effect when they want a partner after they get the partner they forget......This Black Wife effect does wonders for this momentary lapse in attention to pre dating times.. I appreciate you for doing this..

Never heard of it, but will listen to your thoughts anyway.:)

As the representative for thirsty dudes everywhere I’d like to say “never had a relationship” is wild.

i actually love your main takeaways on this, i was literally thinking about this on the day this was posted, but the video only got recommended to me today. to summarize our mutual thoughts; black =we're raised to put lots of effort in our appearance to minimize any discrimination & to be taken seriously, which makes some people over compensate at times, but on the bright side, it makes u take more pride in yourself bc you look & feel good. white = opposite; while obviously most people regardless of race are taught to take care of themselves, the emphasis isn't as present because they don't need to compete if our society already accepts them more than others woman - society expects us to look better than our male counterparts, so we take part. & while things like fashion are stereotypically enjoyable for a lot of us, the stereotype stems from the fact that it is a common interest BUT the added pressure to conform to these assumptions makes getting ready take longer (even though that gets laughed at often in the media) & require more effort. man= opposite; they don't have to put as much effort, & if/when they do they get called feminine as an insult. so they have more freedom to be casual. putting both racial & gender aspects together, the prominence of this trend & the visual evidence of it makes a lot of sense! :) also one thing i noticed, is that sometimes the "after" version of the man sometimes seems more black-coded .. which is funny bc people hype him up, but it makes u think about different implications of why he chose to change in that way. does he think his black partner will be more attracted to guys with fades, tattoos, chains, etc.? did she imply that's her preference, despite falling in love with a white man that never previously looked like that? or did he just naturally change his style?

First, amazing video

Black women are givers of life... physically, verbally, soulfully, spiritually, SWAGFULLY... duh.

To me, the implications of "The Black Wife Effect" are twofold. First, that it's the job of women in general to "fix" men, in this case their appearance, but in many other ways as well. The second being the stereotype that Black people are all inherently cool and stylish. These overlapping expectations create a situation ripe for "The Black Wife Effect" to flourish. It's easy for a new narrative to take hold when it fulfills societies preconceived notions, so if society thinks women are supposed to fix their man, and Black people are experts in style and confidence, then it's easy to imagine a Black Wife fixing her husband’s appearance. To me, assuming that one group of people "should" do something for another group is where this gets problematic. Yes, being told you are fashionable and confident is a nice complement to receive! But what is a complement when told to one person quickly becomes an insult when told to an entire segment of the population. So I guess I'm just wary of this internet phenomena and the story that it tells people.

I love how you describe trends! I was wondering what pasta and lobster had to do with dating. Was it a metaphor? Who is the lobster and who is the pasta? Nope, it's very literal😂

I'm sus about most tiktok trends, but i really love this one. it lowkey give me hope. like in the tsunami that is anti women anti black women hate thats spewed on podcasts and social media

This was excellent. You're right, it's a wholesome and healthy trend.🎉😊

I think appearance (or even somewhat personality) changing drastically depending on whether a person is in a relationship or not is actually problematic! To a degree it is normal and fine, but a lot or drastically?... No! I have seen this happen way too many times and much. To me it can be a sign of a person relying heavily on somebody else for their own happiness or self respect and can even be a sign of inner instability. It shouldn't need a partner for anyone to be who they truly are and I also don't want my partner to dress up for anyone but themselves. I want my partner to just be comfortable with who they are, ideally before we are in a relationship (also during and if it doesn't work out also after). I think it would be better to promote men taking care of their own mental health in general rather than saying "just wait until you have a partner and then you'll 'glow up'".

Nice video lady, you popped up on my feed have never seen or heard of you but I definitely enjoyed and agreed as well as learned some things.. I’ve been in a relationship for years with a German man and prior to that another caucasian man so on and so fourth. Not having a social media presence until … Drum roll plz…very soon my channel will drop.. but thru my teenage daughter err “young woman collegiate student” have become privy to and interested in youtube watching learning laughing or yucked out have i found out about this new trend. I find it kind of awesome I also have learned that compared to say 20 years ago my guy and I walking around isn’t a big deal we are just another mixed couple it’s not a thing. well now it’s a thing but not a thing if that makes sense. You are very articulate many couples on the blk white effect seem younger but I am not young not old, yet..In my Prime.

If it weren't for Amanda I wouldn't have been aware of various tiktok microtrends atm 😅😅🙈🙈

Can't believe that you have never been in a relationship 😱. You are super pretty, smart and creative. That was a really surprising thing to learn. Loved the topic, didn't hear about it before.

Attraction seemingly stops mattering when yt men are involved. Secondarily the assertion that these women are in loving relationships is a result of the subject being yt men. They're always getting every benefit of doubt there is to give.

Only to a simp. Real man isn't changing for anybody. Ladies. Find yourself a sigma Not a simp you can mold. Just saying

That's what happened to Eminem. The black man effect its real. Its effects everybody especially the ones that connects with the black people. We been on

"Whatever we touch turns into gold or at least a man with a beard that connects" Truth. I love this trend though it gives a self-confidence boost at least to black women.

You’re good.

What the heck do the Beibers have to do with the Black Wife effect?

4:40 “her HUSBAND” i’m crying 😭😭😭😭

But why're you so pretty tho 😭

Rick Grimes is a good example of this. When Lori left TWD, and Rick grew closer to Michonne, Rick’s whole aura was upgraded from slender policeman to gruff and rugged warrior. Then again, he *was* in the middle of an apocalypse…

Feminine and outstanding presentation. You have a sweet spirit.

It's because they get enough love and their wife does everything for them. So they want to change how they look for them. It's good for both of them ❤

God bless them but I thought our focus was coming up from under unrealistic expectations of us.

Hey Amanda, I don't want to be the killjoy in this comment section but I have a small technical criticism which I hope to communicate constructively, I hope I succeed. Regarding the sound, it seems to me that for the better part of the video your voice is not picked up by the blue mic but from the camera which is why it sounds very roomy and reverberant? It might have something to do with the mics directivity pattern. This particular mic seems to have multiple different ones to choose from. I think if you are speaking into it from behind the "8" pattern would be most useful. If you want the mic to pic up sound from all directions and don't want to worry about alignment you could also pick the "Omni" option. Other sounds from the window or sth would propably also end up in your recording though. I hope you have a very nice day and keep up with the amazing commentary on these phenomena. As a sociology student these topics are always so interesting!

THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHY BEYONCE THE QUEEN. SHE HAD THE REAL BLACK WIFE AFFECT. IT DOESN'T REALLY UPGRADE YOUR LOOK BETTER YET YOUR BANK. JAY-Z IS NOW WORTH 2.5 BILLION. -UPGRADE BEYONCE B-DAY

Deuteronomy 7:3

there's also the black wife effect in making white men less insane. my favourite example is the comedian bill burr

OMG. THIS IS TRUE!! Hilarious. But when I look back at my photos of my white wife Era.... Cringe. Simp geek look. Then I had a hot black girlfriend who totally rebuilt my confidence. And it showed. Next a Thai model who polished me up more and yeah.... Not the same guy. Didn't realize it until I looked at the old sad photos. It's real. Thank you hot black chicks!!! 😁

I love the black wife effect. I dated an amazing black girl for three years, and what started as her shopping for me and dressing me up and shaping my eyebrows turned into me doing it for myself: just loving myself, loving my appearance at its best and buying/wearing clothes that turned heads and made me feel really confident ❤

I've seen this trend a few times on Insta reels. I think a better label is the wife with good taste effect. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue as well, but more accurate.

It doesn't do anything, there is no effect. I don't want to be a effect I just want a nice man