Being made to feel guilty and being exploited should be part of a list of common behaviours to look out for with toxics ! This is when you get them gut feelings then they override your thought process with guilt trips ! Your gut and brain really need to be in tune but unfortunately they've normally mashed up your airways with bs...this ones a never to be forgotten red flag.Thanks David !
Perfect video David, you don't see many videos on borderline men, but boy you got this right. They are huge dreamers and fantasy heads, yes they spend their entire days fantasising about their future with you. The messages/love bombing/idealising was so intense It was like reading a daily novel that featured you, He was very clever with his words, but as soon as you try and set a few healthy boundaries or don't play into their fast pace agenda, the mask quickly falls off, resulting in silent treatment, verbal abuse, screaming crying hissy fits,(acting like a giant 2 year old) dramatic displays of sadness, that gets worse and worse and very scary. (all to suck you back in) Its quite easy to see when you know what red flags to look for. Such a con man, non of it was true what he said, (it was very hard to detach from all the wonderful things he once said so freely, especially when you haven't experienced this before) all he wanted was full control of me, my young family, finances and home, whilst swanning around like a nomadic, idiotic, alcoholic. He certainly didn't have his shit together and wanted me to beleive he was my knight in shining armour. ha ha More like the other way round.
Your words ring so true, my step son, who gave me the silent treatment for 5 years, contacts me like he just stepped out a week ago. I'm bombarded with all the fantastical things we did together, that actually never happened. Texting to me, constantly, day and night. Expecting a immediate response. Six weeks in, I drop my phone in a water puddle, and he can't get ahold of me for 36 hours. When my phone comes back on, I'm met with a Blitzkrieg of verbal cruelty. Tells me, final text, he can't commit to someone who doesn't respect me, on and on, tells me to have a good life, and, once again, the silent treatment...Oh, brother!!
@GinaonthebeachM Oh yes the lovebombing is so intense, like you said, you are the main character in a love novel, very well said, and tremendous sadness when reality sets in.😕
Such an accurate example. I fell for this taking care of my sons boyfriend. He mooched off me for 18 months and all the while was abusing my son. Your zero tolerance approach might sound harsh but boy it is 100% necessary- thank you
My bpd sister constantly needs ppl to bail her out of situations that she puts herself in to. But when she's burned all of her bridges, & she has no one left to lean on, she actually functions on her own very well. So it really shows how some bpd's will take advantage and exploit if there's an opportunity.
This is their ‘mode’ and what they do. The trap, (which you have mentioned David), is trying to leave once the drama/recklessness/mayhem/abuse has hit a fever pitch. One can be left feeling massive guilt b/c ‘how the hell are they going to survive?!?!’ Most of us would not simply abandon a person in need. Most people in need are grateful for any helping hand. It’s important to make the distinction that these types are NOT most people! I will never ever put myself in this position again. I didn’t recognize what was happening initially. I knew this dude was a mess, but wrote it off to him needing stability/love/care. All said, I did not see any kind of positive transformation over the time we were together - in fact, I saw a ‘lovely’ repetitive pattern. The longer I was ‘involved’, the more at risk I became. Happy ending: I left in spite of how horrible I felt. I had to leave the exploiter!! I can see how people get drawn into this - that’s not a crime. The crime is the egregious exploitation of another for one’s own benefit. Inequity at its best. I believe underneath it all is a huge sense of entitlement. Great vid - demonstrates how this can, and does, happen!
My ex boarderline conned me out of at least $30k. I hate them! Just found out there is a long line of other women he did this too. When the women caught on and dumped him, then he would start stalking them. I no longer care how damaged they were as children. My childhood was horrible, but I didn’t spend my life taking it out on other people.
They are "Dirty John" types and they are usually great lovers so you stay all hopped up on oxytocin. Then you can't give them up as easily. I hate them too. They can fuck off. I am indferent to the flattering and future talk. I am married, but FRIENDS can be like this, and will do the same thing. Ya gotta be aware, and
People meet for a reason, do you know why did you choose him in the first place? If you don't understand what made you enter a relationship like this one, you are bound to repeat it.
@@no_more_free_nicks beautiful comment. Wow. This is really good. Because you are actually correct One has to evaluate what why is this going on. Its only when we realise one is borderline and we just reassess ourselves and realise our own trauma.
my bpd ex left me for and old creepy dude who's like 45 and she's 18. lmao I fell for all the shit in the book. Sucks being a sucker because you care about someone's life yet they'll destroy yours just cause the feel like it. oh well it's really her loss of someone who truly care about her soul.
Rainbo imagine living theife of a paranoid schizophrenic constant hearing, seeing, & feeling things. U then develop agoraphobia & can't even leave ur house. U develops severe panic attacks. U then mess w suicide. U wake up in a hospital 4attempting suicide then told, "ur doing 2a mental ward INVOLUNTARILY." U go. U get well. U strive 4a good 2yrs. The schizophrenic episodes come back & manifest x4. U then can smell & taste things that r not there & hear, c, & feel things not there. U start cutting. U rip ur hair out. U do in2 psychosis. U can't control it bc u literally feel as if Satan, himself (analogy or literal), has taken hold of ur brain, picking & eating at it. U attempt suicide, again. Fail. Ur in the hospital again. Ur to the same thing but sent2 a DIFFERENT hospital. U get there. Ur mistreated by drs, staff, & eat food that's near expired ke already expired (I'm not kidding as I've been2 a place like that that winded up shut down & thoroughly investigated). Drs give u meds that don't help but keep u drugged, zombified, & groggy. U have2 choices. Take those meds & get TF out of that "prison" or refuse it & stay longer as they dope u up on other shit that doesn't help either & remain2 be treated by shit from the drs & staff. Now... Imagine having BPD W emotions u can't just control that eat up ur soul & take over u like multiple legions of demons (analogy or literal), u can't control ur crying spells, panic attacks, fears, worry, etc bc they MANIFEST. U try2 get help but just can't connect w only but so few ppl bc ur symptoms cont 2spiral. U self harm. U attempt suicide. U wake up at the hospital. Ur then taken 2a ward *INVOLUNTARILY* . And... Here u simply & disgustingly, heartlessly, illogically assume that BPD's r what they r or do what they do, as if they "LIKE" it. WRONG. *Dead wrong* Done.
@@osuushiza8 bpd's have no sympathy or empathy.. So how can they demand it from others. They also don't want to change, they are very content with their toxic way in which they treat people who really care about them.. My take is that they should be subjected to voluntary euthanasia.. Bastards they are.. F..k them!!
@@sasdekock870 So, of over 7.7bill+ ppl on earth, _all_ ppl w BPD have EMOTIONAL outbursts but don't want to get better? Many BPD attempt suicide or self harm due to emotional pain bc they "enjoy" it? FALSE. And they don't empathize or sympathize either??? U have the wrong disorder in that 1! Ur being replied by some1 w BPD RN! U have no idea what I'd have given to be legally euthanized when my suicidiality spiraled out of control until the last attempt, which was the last straw for me- I've given up on attempts. Read up on &/or watch vids on links between BPD & *PTSD* ! PTSD can cause BPD in some as its not only genetic. Besides, ur no encyclopedia of facts!! For you to come out w an immature & fuqqed up comment of such will not be tolerated. Choose ur words wisely.
All those excuses are used in any relationship with a BPD not just romantic relationships, but among siblings as well or friendships. it s very common to make you feel responsible for them because if you don't help them by providing for them it s abanodonment...and cruelty. So the only choice you have is to continue helping them... Until your last breath and until the last drop of blood gets drained from you. It s said that the word NO infuriates Narcissists but the fact that it s insulting and devastating (in personal gain level) for BPDs as well it s not very oftenly recognized.
My mother 😬. Took decades to “understand” and I still have lots to heal. Thanks for putting these videos out there! I believe, awareness is the key to a healthier society😁
David I lived out your scenario this past year. She love bombed me, idealized me, and eventually conned me into letting her move into my home because she claimed she couldn't continue to live in her parents house because they were abusing her. She loved spending my money on things for "our" house. She had no money of her own, her parents basically provided everything for her. I foolishly gave her whatever she wanted but it was never enough. Constant drama. She threatened me with a knife after keeping me up all night yelling and screaming at me - I'm not even sure what it was about. That was my moment of clarity. I had her removed from my house with a harassment order. She continued to try to con me through email and texts. First threatening me and then claiming she had no place to live and would have to go to a shelter. I stopped responding to her and blocked her so she filed a lawsuit against me claiming I had her unlawfully removed from "her" house. We went to Court and the Judge gave her only the right to come and retrieve her belongings. I have been No Contact for over six months but she continues to drag out the lawsuit. She had to be compelled by my lawyer to actually retrieve her belongings. Since then she continues to claim I am withholding things from her. I returned everything that was hers and everything that we bought together(almost all of which I paid for). She is still refusing to sign off on dismissing the case and we will probably have to go to a hearing soon, costing me more money. You describe people like her in your videos perfectly! They are real. I'm choosing to look at my experience with her as a blessing however. I have learned more about myself in the past few months than I ever could have otherwise. Thanks again for all your videos. They have been a valuable resource. Bill
@@pinkkat3631 this video just came up in my youtube timeline. First time I saw your comment. You might be right. I always focused on the fact that she checked off all nine of the symptoms of a borderline but it's just my opinion not a diagnosis. I do think a lot of these mental disorders have overlap however.
It's very funny you mentioned financial abuse. I was out trying to stimulate oxytocin release on my bicycle and thought to myself; "She talked as if money was no object to her, as if she came from very high society (which she may have) , like she was financially set for life; yet, she never had any money and always wanted MY money."
Borderlines are very good at finding enablers. Love-bombing, hero-worshiping, crazy mad sex which eventually morphs into the "pathetic victim" act, the "I'm so insecure" act, dependency, financial abuse, lies, disrespect, disinterest, splitting, blaming, finally sudden explosive abandonment and smearing. That was my husband's ex-wife to a T. Thanks for your videos, they have been a huge help in adjusting to the several years of harassment we took from her after the divorce before going no-contact.
I will give this piece of advice-If you get away from one, never ever ever go back to them. I broke up with my BPD ex after the constant emotional and verbal abuse, rage, chaos, toxicity, name calling, disrespect, gaslighting, manipulation, and complete lack of respect. When I left her I was thrilled to be away from her, never had a second thought. She hoovered me for a full year. I caved and figured I’ll just to fuck her once. She completely blindsided me and manipulated me. Through my own fault, I wanted to try with her again. We got back together. In the span of 2 months, i was idealized, devalued and discarded. Now I feel like complete dogshit and am in a fog. I should be MORE turned off by her as her alcoholism, attitude, and disrespect were worse after getting back together. But no, I’m in the prison of my own trauma-bonded mind. Avoid these people at all costs. They will ruin your life, sometimes on purpose.
Great video..i also find it always really funny how you explain things. I am just laughing always during your video s😊 dho i know its a really serieus topics..
Love Light... I KNOW exactly what you are saying! David makes me laugh also and in a good way... even when he is making a serious point... A little humor and laughter when learning serious and valuable and even painful lessons helps the medicine go down... just love him so much!
Yep; when I'm feeling like caving in and going to save my ex BPD/NPD (whatever she is), I watch David's videos because they get me right back on the no contact track with a smile.
This is scary - your scenario with the artist man and the unhappily married woman is totally me. I was in shock to hear this. Stay away from these people I almost got killed by this psycho. I was future faked to no end. He was always "sick" or never felt good so couldn't work. Couldn't even find work as an artist. Gross. Always a massive sob story. If something feels off or too good to be true...... run. David also wanted to add that I am sorry your dealing with that insane woman who is stalking you to know end. Not sure why these people just can't get their own life and move on. Stay strong!!!
Man i went to jail for such a person who abused me financially, slept all day smoking weed, never worked and barebacked guys behind my back when i was at work 😓
Wish I could’ve seen this video 7 years ago. I spent thousands on doctor bills for her and hospital bills for her. They never found anything wrong. She said she was always in pain, 24/7. Said she had fibromyalgia but when I asked how they diagnosed it since there’s really know way, she just told me, “that’s what they said.” Financial issues hit as soon as we were married. She couldn’t get her business license…she couldn’t get a job she could physically do (because of her pain…there was always something. She was fired from a previous job because “she was pretty and the other women hated her and accused her messing around with clients.” Always something. I’m such an idiot.
This describes an ex coworker perfectly. She married a psychopath because she thought I wanted to date him and she needed to prove that she was more attractive than me. It's been less than a year. I heard through the grapevine that they are about to get a divorce.
I can vouche and understand all of these scenarios your discussing. I have been in these situations more than once with my ex. Crazy it brings back memories.
I wish I would have seen this years ago. After watching many of your videos my ex was exhibiting all the signs of being a borderline. You described her behavior almost exactly. I was so naive.
Taking into account my ex girlfriend, who according to the psychotherapist exhibited strong borderline traits (there is no diagnosis), I must say that I have some compassion to her. The environment in which she grew up was very harsh (fathers alcoholism), I can only imagine how hard it was some times. I still have some feelings towards her, but I know that it is impossible to have a life with somebody like that. I would describe her situation as sad, full of pain. She is trying to change something, but I think her chances to make a difference are low. I'm now writing this to excuse her. I'm writing this, to tell others how I feel, that all of this is not simple, it is not black and white. And people like this are who they are for a reason. It doesn't mean however that we should sacrifice yourself in order to help them.
This is true. My borderline works full time, here’s the kicker, won’t directly ask for money but asks me to go to the bank to get her money out. I will see how little she has in there so knows I will give her the $. Will say “hey let me know if you see costs on sale” which means she wants me to buy her one. Yet when it comes to personal training or concerts always has money for that. All kinds of credit card debt which is blamed on her disorder and had audacity to ask me to take out the loan cause “my credit is bad”. Watch out folks this shit is real
You mentioned in the example of the female borderline that she was using her hands as a physical disability and maybe therefore lost her job due to her hands hurting.. I was told by a therapist that my BPD ex was disabled. I asked the therapist...how so? He said she has an emotional disability. This was an eye opener.. to know that my partner at the time was actually “disabled”...I gained empathy from that but it didn’t change the fact that I knew who she was deep inside and that our relationship would NEVER ever work.
3 MONTHS 3 GODAMN months I have been trying to understand my situation, why did she did that? was I not good enough? was I really bad? I have never EVER related so muuuucccchhhh to a situation. I finaally see! I was so stupid I did everything for her I took care of her expenses, love, health, everything like a kid. She even told me I took care of her sooooooo welll I would be a greaaaattt father. Thank you so much just thank you for this video I finally see. I hope you all a great day!
IT WOULD BE...IDEAL TO HAVE CLASSES IN .........JUNIOR AND HIGH SCHOOLS.....ENTITLED .......HEALTH AND RELATIONSHIPS!!!! TO HELP THESE VULNERABLE CHILDREN.....SEE THE SIGNS OF...UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!!!! SO MANY...ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AT THIS AGE......ABUSIVE...BOYFRIENDS AND ABUSIVE GIRLFRIENDS!!!!! ALSO...HEADS UP ON GROOMING FOR....PROSTITUTION AND TRAFFICKING!!
Mr. Demars, 14:00 you asked for if anyone has any other scenarios. My personal answer to you is no. The first story you told, was my scenario almost exactly.... it was haunting listening to you tell that story as if you had a hidden camera in my house for the past 2 years and all you did was watch my life unfold. Everything from playing the victim, fighting with mom, me inviting her to my home, getting ajob, her physical injuries that prevented her from getting ajob, constant fighting/arguing over the most trivial things. Just unreal. It's like you lived my life. THanks for sharing. just listening to that story made me feel less alone.
I took care of mine for 2 1/2 years. Just got so tired of getting money for her while she’s having communication with exes and newbies and an emotional affair atleast. My god scenario 2 is my story. She’s also a musician. Shit. So spot on.
So valuable. You deliver this information very differently than two of my favorites: Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Ramani but your more down to earth and less straight therapeutic voice helps some of these slippery realities hit the target... When your in the middle of these situations you think you might have it pegged but then you think "But, but, but..." Some characteristics seem not to fit and you're back off into confusion again which is why your delivery is particularly powerful.
First scenario. Also borderline woman fakes panic attacks and anxiety, so someone (her ex preferably) has to "rescue her" and save her from her "so demanding job and life" oh my God! I know how a real panic attack is I have had them and cope with them, ofcourse I know when someone is faking one and more if is in my presence. Even though I tried to calm her down and did not say a word to make her feel bad or anything. This has happened to me, my boyfriend is a narc and his ex also a narc or borderline. And when one of them is in trouble with the law, money problems, problems with her 22 year old son that is not of him only the 10 year old son. I sometimes say in my head (Oh comon call your sister to help you bitch, her half sister is a loving and caring woman that always has tried to helped her, I don't understand how she can be so ungraitful with her half sister? But hey, they are so sick, him, her and her older son) I am sick of this. I solve my issues by myself, single mom, thank God I found a job and I dont bother anyone, I work 13 to 15 hours a day from 8 a.m until 8 or 10 p.m. She works 9 or 10 hours (which is what everyone in my country does) the schedule she chose is from 3 p.m to 1 a.m. she has all the morning to rest and for herself. Takes care of her body by running! I person who is really depresed and with amxiety problems cannot run a marathon and the next day or few days after says she needs someone to comfort her. Comon! why cant she put up with it like a normal human being? Ugh! They triangulate and depends on when is comvenient to rely on eachotjer or him on me.. I am trying to heal and learn. They use eachother and he also of course uses me. I know I sound dumb but I am trying to learn and make a scape plan.
Only five Minutes into the Video and I am speaking out loud: "Holy S**t!" Telling my story here. It simply amazes me, how they "all" seem to be working the same way! Hiveminded Alien Creatures 😮 (just kidding)
This month will be a year anniversary of the major discard. I am now moving after years being in my town ...because of the craziness, stalking, fake illnesses, guilt trips, gas lighting, lies, future faking, triangulation w his physcho ex who is a borderline or some crazy b. My ex father n law is some sorta malignant narc. We got married and everything. I feel like I'm stuck sometimes. I'm getting better but triggers I think slow me down. Major changes good and bad due to this relationship. I'm glad I know about these people now but kinda sometimes wish I could bury my head and wish I didnt know too. I wish I could go to a place where they wipe out memories...forever.
I had this with a relationship, future faking victim mentality, intense emotion unstable, implulsive, draging everybody and everything, Luckily i am out
The video I've been looking for!! Lived this and wanted to get some of the money lost back and had a way. I asked you about doing that and you said one should not abuse another ever. So I didn't do what I was going to do to get it back. I'll just let him continue to fall in the holes they dig for themselves.
I am the BPD partner parentifying my partner, how do I stop this? I hate it, I WANT the future, I need the ways to make the plans myself. It almost feels like I’m focusing so much on making our relationship stable and that everyone is “okay” that it’s hard to start to work towards actual goals. Would love thoughts! Also thanks for the video!
One way but not the only way I got over my x-Narc, was to realize the predicament that I would have been in if they were still in my life! Oh, how huge that one is! So glad I'm not dealing with that mess!
I just came out of a relationship with a borderline artist and it's basically a mix of both characters you described here. It's scary accurate. Fuck. And I'm an artist too but I manage to make my own money. Even though I know I made the right thing by leaving her I'm still trying to figure out how to get over my feelings and the urge to care for her when she does stupid things and (predictably) gets hurt. Hope it goes away sometime. It helps when I remember she would always disregard my realistic adult problems, but it's still painfully hard
Alice Porto BPDs r best described as the Jekyll & Hyde persona as2 where they seem sweet but also become vile. They're coherent tho, but their moods r beyond their control often. Scary2 say the least. I have BPD myself...
It's not that cut and dry. I'm artistic and borderline. I got involved with a narsesist. I was and still am taking care of my mental illness with drugs and therapy. He had a very victim mindset. He liked to blame everyone for his problems. I will admit I did see the red flags but thought if I loved him enough things will change. I have SSDI disability. I took care of him. He was a man child. Anyways things are more interweave than you think. I will not say I don't have the problems of a borderline. I work on them. My problem is thinking it's my fault. Shame and worthlessness is what I work on. I also work on my destructive and dysfunctional thought patterns. We are all works in progress. Oh and by the way I'm no longer with that man.
I lived with my husband 2 years before I walked out 7 months ago. I started documenting his behaviors at about 3 months in because he began insulting me behind jokes, silent treatment out of no where, then rages which were very odd and accusatory. He could not tolerate my needs and wants, adult communication was out. He triangulated with his adult daughter and he went out of his way to help others including me for the kudos for himself not for altruistic reasons. He drove recklessly, very petulant behaviors.
There are many types of borderline people... f.e. I am quiet, would never physically hurt myself or anyone else. I was diagnosed with it at the age od 18, but I guarantee that I never exploited people. Sometimes I think that I'm avoidant. Is it possible to have both?
I'm an artist. Most of the painting wisdom I have is long gone in recent generations. I was lucky to have found a true master and learned my craft masterfully, though. It took time and full dedication. It's also very lucrative. But I know what you mean about the façade, stolen painter's valor!! Haha
I lived with a man for 18 who just never got a job to supplement his low social security. I have a good social security and also work. He had lost his license and had no vehicle. So I drove him everywhere for a year until he got his license and I helped him get a vehicle. Six months later he got drunk and lost his license and also didn't pay rent for 3 months as we were fighting a lot over his drinking and not finding work. Seems he always left before rent was due and returned a few days after broke. I finally kicked him out. Now he is begging to come back, promising to change and give 100 percent. I went no contact and while I love and miss him, I cannot believe he will do anything but more of the same. Would like others opinion.
I think he already did a video about this topic, or I may be confusing with another youtuber :P But, according to this video I'm thinking about, basically BPD people seek someone to protect and save them, like a hero or a father figure, and a NPD partner at first appears to be full of self-confidence and capable of doing everything he promisses, NPD people at first sight show themselves as strong, succesful, hardworking and so on. And NPD people seek someone who idolizes them, someone who believes that they are perfect, so the BPD's love-bombing makes them feel good about themselves. So they feed on each other's insecurities during the love bombing stage.
bpd and narcs are mismatch both need to be told how great they are and reasure how much you care and love them narcs wont do that and bpds live for compliments or they fear abandoment
David, I’m in the beginning stages of a second discard from the same borderline person. I was married to him, he’s the father of our five children. The first discard was when I finally decided to leave because our marriage was horrible. That triggered my first panic attacks. I moved on some what but we remained entangled because of the situation with our children. After four years of that, he’s met someone and has discarded me again. This should be a good thing for me but my body doesn’t seem to understand this and I am suffering a great deal with amplified anxiety and had a panic attack yesterday after being free of them for four years. Is there a reason this happens with the borderline discard? I want to be done with this and do not have money for therapy. I am willing to read any book you suggest.
Very accurate sir David, you describe my ex narc gf from head to foot lol 😂. She love bomb and idealize me but i never knew this narcissist thing back then. She's lazy and grandiose, always pretend to be rich but it was my money she spent. I'm so exhausted, she drain my money and my energy. 5.5 yrs.had been wasted but it's not too late, I can fix my life again. Good she's out of my life.
Exactly head on this is my mother in law and also the daughters. They’ll all exploit their father as much as possible. He’s not blind to it but he also doesn’t want conflict so he enables this behavior. I can’t.... this just blows my mind that I walked into another family like my own I’m running the hell away from. My own mother and sister are the same exact way and I’m doing my best to do the opposite of everything they do and have been getting professional help. Thank the lord I been doing self actualization my whole life doing the opposite of they’re behaviors that I dodged the bullet of possibly becoming BPD/Covert Narcissistic.
after this how do you find yourself again where do you start I saw one of your videos and it said stop isolating and have positive interaction but every time I try this I feel like I'm being awkward or bothersome or unrelatable it's like when you spend all day everyday chasing after toddlers from sun up to sun down and a grandparent cones and takes them for a few hours but your confused by the silence and peace you feel lost like you don't know what to do with yourself
Do you agree with the current practice of DBT "curing" people with BPD? As much as a personality disorder can be cured? Can the symptoms go into remission enough so a person can no longer qualify for the diagnosis?
Barb DeSouza I remember it this way: Marsha Linnehan has BPD. She's the co-founder of DBT! If she was & is strong enough 2do that, there's hope that at the LEAST, some, if not many, will improve. Each individual is different tho. Some ppl have2 cont DBT 4life; others may only have2 go 1-3 Xs. Some others still can't improve. I, a Borderline, have been several Xs 2DBT. i've been 2-3x 2DBT *Intensive Outpatient Therapy* (IOT). It helped4 a bit then faded. Most of my problems r circumstancial AND mental. It took me a long while2 figure out where I need2 be stability wise. It may take u just as long or longer. U may get a solution w/in a wk. Concept? There's still hope, but not at 100%. But it's hope worth striving4 4many. Good luck, & plz get & stay well! ♥
Pink Kat is correct. Don't listen to this guy. Two years of DBT changed my life. My therapist told me that I don't have to go anymore unless I feel a need. I am not perfect and I am improved and improving.
I don't understand how u make so many videos on understanding what it's like to be borderline then u make one that says we are just toxic it's really defeating
Borderline broke her hand hitting my brother and has constantly complained about how she had to go through surgery and blah blah...and she lied of course saying she hit a wall. Of course my brother is going to tell me the truth ,. She claimes to be bipolar,. I tell her as much as possible she is borderline and chooses to do people wrong
Wow! This is my sister. My mom overworked her (not my experience, my parent’s were great), her hands hurt and her knee lol. She has never held a job (54 yrs old). I’ve never seen anyone capable of getting other people to pay for her whole life like this..she is a master at it. I have worked since 14 and would never dream of letting someone pay my way. We came from the same parents, how are we polar opposites? I feel like she started this after her teenage love with an older, I’m quite sure a narcissist or a psychopath, abusive man who she married and divorced at age 18. After that relationship, that started at age 16, she was never the same. Do you think these people can develop this in teenage years from peer interactions rather than parents? for the life of me, I can’t see what my parents did that made her like this. My parents were married 54 years, not alcoholics or drug addicts, no domestic violence, they did not yell at us or spank us, my mom was a stay at home mom, all the neighbor kids (whose parents worked) wanted to be at our house (up until teenage years) because they liked that our mom was home and interacted with us. I feel like our childhood was completely normal. I am very well adjusted. My parents in dealing with her drama over the years have wondered where in the world she came from. She is a lot like an aunt I have, but nothing like my parents. Her 3 ex-husbands have all revealed to me over the years that my sister told them she was abused by my parents. This is so untrue and so hurtful. She denies she said that to me and our parents, but all 3 ex’s have the same story. I guess my question is, does this always have to involve parents? I feel like with my sister it is somewhat genetic and possibly triggered by her relationships with friends and boys in her teenage years.
Omg u describing how the borderline talks about loving the skin, hair on arms omg im laughing so hard. You are a comedian.. future faking.. yep he could go on for hours about where we would move, how our kids would look like, trips to disney land and what his mom and my mom would be doing, what house we would get, what car wed have, which car would have the carseat in it, how we would raise our kids, i mean i could go on and on! Meanwhile he is still in the same situation and had a big cross country trip that hes had planned forever but none of his exes ever made it that far, but he hopes that I will LOL so stupid how I fell for his nonsense. He was either future faking or ranting about him almost getting into fights with people and how he hated waiters or how his job got him so messed up lol i mean one day hed say he loves me and in love then the next say hes u happy and warning me to change.. he told me hes bad at planning and cant plan anything lol so he wanted me to plan everything
its possible that many of these cases happen. I would just like to add that I am a diagnosed bpd girl and financially i was exploited by parents and 2 boyfriends, and they were gaslighting me heavily. Just saying that this kind of thing happens to us also. Almost $80k to my parents and more than $200k to my last boyfriend who turned out to be a criminal and also married with a kid. it's not always the bpd person to be exploitative of other people. i can be dramatic and need therapist's help but then i was also surrounded in a very abusive and neglectful family & relationships. It's all changing now. I think alot of ypung pbd people can be softly guided that they need to self independent. many of them have high intelligence , and even though the emotional distress feels like a disability they can still turn their lives around.
First time seeing one of your videos. I have a wife that we believe is borderline. We being her mother, brother and sister, myself, her father that passed, a couples therapist we saw. And I really believe it fits. But she seems more “covert” with it. In other words, she’s not overly extreme like I’ve heard they can be. I am ending the relationship as she is not on any medication, or any therapy, to help with this. I can’t continue on with this. But I am concerned of what if I’m making a mistake. I’m beginning to see her get uglier and uglier in her ways. Definitely can’t have any type of conversation. She “reads things into” what I say, and takes them to an extreme. To say she is black or white is an understatement. It used to be cute and funny how it was all or none with her. But I have come to really that that was just a very small glimpse of what was to come. I would live to be able to sound off with someone to see what they think about my situation. I’ve practically raised her kids and am the father in their life. They definitely need me. I’m very concerned of what will happen to them if I’m not there. So I am contemplating tryin got get placement. So I want to be sure of what I may be facing before I make any decisions. Any feedback is greatly appreciated here. Thanks in advance. Scott
I forgot to mention was diagnosed by a couple of PhD’s ad bipolar. But he second one basically went off the diagnosis of the first. I was there and there was no effort put into this. It was later that I came to understand about the borderline. She went off the meds in 2015. That’s when life started getting crazy here.
5.5 yrs of our relationship, crumble within 5.5 seconds,1 month after we broke up she's already engage to a new supply, so ridiculous 😂 . He lined up him before we broke up. I know. He also called him Babe/baby, same pet name as mine lol but I'm more handsome compare to his new guy hahaha. I feel sorry for her new supply,she love bomb and idealize him, he has no idea how horrible woman she is,they're LDR. She carry emotional baggage. He got the body only,but her heart and mind was on me.
