I grew up dad-deprived because of cancer. I recognize a lot of the symptoms described in my own life. Now, thanks to a military pension, I am able to still provide while being the homemaker for a working wife (who was home when the kids were little), homeschool my two grade-school-age kids, and hopefully be the valuable dad-presence that many kids with working parents miss out on. Yet I wonder what wounds from my childhood I'm carrying forward into how I relate to them. I see the wounds of divorce in other families. I also see how even the absence of dad during the day is manifest in some our fellow homeschoolers. Kids need men in the classroom. If they're home, it would be good if more dads could be as well, at least part-time, especially as they move into the tween years. Our whole society is built around a nuclear family where even in the conservative ideal the man is gone most of the time, and the kids are institutionalized. Would that there was a way both parents could be with their children, and that children could spend more time with each other without adults around, and around grandparents, and around neighbors. We have isolation built into the system.
A HUGE thanks to Jordon Peterson for being instrumental in bringing so many good speakers from across the world and across fields of expertise and knowledge, to give us a much needed sane and humane prospect for our future as a human race. We’ve gone so low and so far that it’s going to be a long way back to healthy civilization and prosperity of all families once again. God bless all these speakers and thinkers. God bless us all.
@@markw999that’s BS. Maybe the teenaged girls don’t know any better, but adult women do. Most of my RN coworkers are married to construction workers and electricians.
As a wife of a carpenter's son, who still takes care of his family to this day. He also helped guide the amazing man I made my husband with absolutely no regrets. I agree.
@@MyriamRichardsdotter Those are fatter girls, I promise you. When women have market value, they don't choose the mechanic. Even if he's pulling down 6 figures. Back when I was in manufacturing I worked with a ton of blue collar guys. Hell, I was a blue collar guy. They were all married to fat girls. The Machinists and Electricians were pulling down $90k + in a town where you could still buy a decent house for $180k. Lots of those guys even took the leftover single moms (also fat) and raised someone else's kid. Pathetic. They had no other choice, it's all they were ever going to get.
@@markw999You wouldn't want to marry a woman who was that shallow any way. It is good to know up front who just wants you for the money, not a life partner.
I'm happy to see this. Thank you. Warren Farrell needs to be heard by everyone! We, as a society must do better for everyone, or we will all lose in the long run.
This isn't just about saving boys; it's about enriching our society by ensuring that every member, regardless of gender, has the opportunity to develop into a well-rounded, contributing individual. This is the challenge we face, and it's one that we must meet with open minds, determined hearts, and a willingness to reassess some of our most fundamental beliefs about gender and parenting.
I disagree. It kind of *is* about saving boys. And we need to reassess our *new* ways of parenting and perhaps return to many of the *old* “fundamental” ways.
@@JaasauTreating boys as disposable future foot soldiers and workers that can die in unsafe conditions has been the the norm for most of human existence. Male disposability has been the "fundamental" sacrifice that our society sits upon. Only when we realize how much we expect of men and how much they do for us can we start to give them the respect, rights, and freedoms they deserve.
I’ve spent the last five years learning how to teach my students that involve criticism without producing a defensive posture. I literally had to deprogram 16 years of education and reinforced ideology that taught them what to think not how to think.
@@adhardino9781 Since you don't show a response here, allow me to offer my thoughts. I didn't meet the Lord until after I was married, so I'm a firm believer in 'when the student is ready, the teacher will appear'. Correcting our young people is a decades exercise. Sadly the public education system stopped being advocates of general positive knowledge (and of parents), and has become too often part of the problem. Boys naturally emulate their surroundings, so deprogramming maybe an excessive posture. While not all men are naturally charismatic, anyone can behave so (it just takes a lot more energy when it's not instinctive). Boys want to be powerful, and society is beating up kids that show any, so too often your result is the sissy (and I'm not talking about confident boys with more dominant female traits), or you get the bully (who is actually a coward). Demonstrating power is the beginning of teaching boys that they too can have power. This effort will usually go sideways, because that's what power unchecked does (which is what scares parents) and that's when the teaching can happen. The objective is to control it: be articulate, be fit, be well read, be a dreamer, become a searcher of the next thing to do wrong, be preventive of the expected, be patient of the unknown, control self-gratification, understand who a man is to God, understand sex, understand the role of husband and of the father, and control of one's power shows well in outdated ideas like chivalry. To control power, a boy has to first discover that he can have it. God does not call us to be useless. Discovering power is a consequence of learning one's spiritual gifts -- there's a couple of dozen gifts, with noone really showing all of them. Whatever the gift(s), there is power to be harnessed, and then to be managed. This is why the self-made man is almost never a truth, and why leaving children to discover things on their own is amazingly stupid. Teaching boys how to think takes years and years, which is okay since we all continue to grow over the years anyway. The school system fails because it wants to teach anything with the least effort and the least divergence. Still the basics apply to everyone, so far as we are all children of God, but we are all unique and therefore the teaching of power (which is really spiritual gifts) may well need to be unique to the boy. Good luck, and remember, it take a village.
I think I've been neglected by my dad almost my entire life. When I really try to think of the things he taught me growing up there's very little that comes to mind. My parents have not been seperated and he did support me and my sibilings financially and still does even after i reached adulthood and got a job and I'm very grateful for him for that. But when it comes to teaching me any social skills I can't think of a single thing I got from him. It's not like he doesn't have social skills or a sense of humor himself, he's the funniest guy in the room and my aunts uncles respects him greatly. I was always angry, agressive and never knew what to say in most social situations which made me an outcast throughout most of my education years. Thankfully my mother tuaght me right from wrong and to focus on my education but I still got picked on for being awkward and got in alot of fights with my bullies. I love my father from the bottom of my heart but other than being their financially he was barely present in most of my childhood which pisses me the fuck off especially since he was a freaking teacher that taught at my freaking high school for fuck sake. My younger siblings have a very shakey relationship with him right now and they've been getting in alot of fights since I left home. I still suffer of social anxity and emotional issues and I can rarely have a meaningful conversation with my colleagues at work but it's heaven compared to my almost everything prior. In the past three years I think I really got to know him since I've been talking to him almost everyday through the phone. He's a kind, funny, smart guy and very chill most of the times but he really should have been there for us emotionally. I'm the only one of my sibling that talks him at this point and I can tell that it's taking a tall on him. I tried to be the peace keeper between them but it doesn't seem like they're willing to let past grudges go. Hopefully we can patch things up as time goes. Anyway sorry for the long winded life story 😅. I just felt like I should get that out of my chest one way or another. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way to the end!
If anyone out there needs it, there's a book called 30 Days to Reduce Depression by Harper Daniels that I liked. Taught mindfulness exercises. Too many people suffer in silence and feel hopeless today. The world can get cold, but the ultimate peace is always found inside.
Those dads are rare though and are almost non-existent amongst college educated fathers. I agree, no father is better than a horrible one but most aren’t. The exceptions don’t discount the rule, they prove it.
I'm only 5 minutes in (fan of Warren's) - but curiously, so far the applause has only been directed at comments that affect women. Re sperm counts, "when one sex loses, both lose", and... Being a single Mother is overwhelming and difficult. Maybe it will change later in the talk, but I think this bias is kind of ingrained in the psyche of society.
I disagree with the equal care parenting. I have a child to a previous relationship. I had 100% and then she came back. I left the country. It's not always best to uproot a child week about, month about, day about, whatever about !! Look at what's best for the child. What matters is QUALITY TIME. (with no conflict) I worked government, social security, for 20yrs. I can list dozens of examples of how equal care only made lawyers rich. Give the money that you would spend on lawyers to the ex and the child. Even if you lose...... your child wins. And at the end of the day, you can put hand on heart that you did what was best. And you can stand before God knowing you put yourself last.
I posted this comment in the last iteration of this video and I think it needs to be said again and it got a lot of interesting comment responses (paraphrased since the last one because it got deleted): Warren had a bunch of good points and his diagnosis is correct, but his prescription needs some changes. This "gender liberation movement freeing both sexes from the rigid roles of the past" that we apparently need seems like it will unfortunately be poison to the vision that ARC seems to be wanting to show. Gender roles come as an innate part of the 2 sexes that comprise human beings and they arise (or are designed) as part of the needs that each sex (and people in general) require to be fulfilled and the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual 'tools' that each sex can use to achieve this. I just think it's important to mention, as the 'story' that ARC seems to be telling is that we need to progress as a society, but also be routed in tradition and history - to not just be looking forward to where we are going, but also backwards to where we came from...and what we should take with us.
😂 come out of this delusion land look what women and men have become now a days most men with some respect and pride would prefer to stay out of this BS.
I’ve been around since the end of the last war, oh there were such admirable men then, not only had they done their bit but they could put up shelves, imparted wisdom to their families and as we all got more prosperous gathered in good natured gangs on Sunday mornings to mend their cars. Then came the sixties and the world started to belong to the young and males stayed young till their forties. Few embraced masculinity, most wanted to be playboys forever with fun, sex and freedom, at least that’s what magazines and the media said. We can see the results in the people who run our country now. The old order which lasted for thousands of years has been kicked out of the window and older people a senile liability where once they were respected for their wisdom. Not advocating putting the clock back but education could do with a make over because it appears to be very difficult to become sensible well rounded people.
I like Warren Farrell's work, but he really should stop dining out on his story about John Lennon taking time out to be a stay-at-home father. With a bank account like Lennon's, there was never any chance Yoko would leave him for being a beta-male. If he was an average guy, she'd be gone in a flash. It's called Surplus Mate Value. Come on, Warren - you can do better.
He's right but he's addressing the symptoms of the problem, not the problem. The problem is not small (otherwise he wouldn't be addressing it), the problem is a total cultural problem. A total problem needs a total solution.
Coolmug, that's right! I read Farrell 30 years ago and he is still tip-toeing around the real problem.. Indeed his near universal approval from his audience is proof of it. Real hard-hitting revelatòns hurt and when the truth hurts not everyone has the guts to applaud.
So when I work for these corps and I only get 4-15 hours a week it's because the single mom covered in tattoos needs those hours more? The woman whose married deserves those hours more? The 16 year old with a box who can get a boyfriend to pay for her stuff needs those hours more? The woman whose ass can't fit in the isle deserves those hours more than a dude? Go get a boyfriend, go back to your husband, they can stay at home with mommy and daddy, go talk to the simps that value you. Why do you I have to sacrifice my Time Energy Attention and Money to compensate for there failings? Explain that to me? If I'm doing 30 carts, 15 skids, cleaning and taking care of customers I think I deserve 80-90 hours a week from these companies? Where is my army of GPT3000 lawyers to reprehend some feminist funding and drug war funding? How about that?
I came back to because somebody had said that the speaker gave basically all his 50 years experience in this single talk. I was not disappointed, amazing talk. When one Sex suffers, all sexes suffer.. .
He did. He was an awful father and he also beat Yoko. I don't agree with this man's advice unless the father is a decent man. Seriously, it doesn't address issues of alcoholism, domestic violence, etc. And why some women leave because of that, past and present. They completely ignore this. Men should be working more because physically they can. Women and children have proven to suffer more when the women aren't in the household.
Some single mother's sons do fine.... proceeds to list Democrats. How about scrapping no-fault divorce? How about when divorces DO happen giving custody to the not-at-fault parent?
I am a (female) victim of the “at fault” divorce system. The one where a cheating spouse had to be caught and photographed in flagrante and the whole lengthy divorce process was filled with anger and hate. Too bad for the kids (me) who were divorced along with their (in my case) fathers. Which then translates to the man I married, perpetuating the cycle to my daughters who, hopefully, have learned from my mistakes and the ones I inherited. My sister went through a no fault divorce, not one she wanted but one brought by her adulterous husband. Her children were encouraged to stay in contact with their father, even live with him or have time with him. My father was cast aside by the law and my mother and I didn’t get to see him until I, too, was married. Had he remained in my life, such as my sisters children’s father, perhaps I would have had him to advise me not to marry the man I did.
Jesus. Imagine Forcing people who don't like each other to stay together legally. Yes. That will definitely fix the children. Won't give them any future issues, ever.
@@roykliffen9674 because often times there is a form of abuse... I'm not specifically talking about just physical... For instance... Psychological, emotional, and/or financial.
10:20 "Of 23 communications skills I teach, the most important is [how to] handle personal criticism without becoming defensive." Good point. My understanding would be that you have to let yourself become defensive which is a form of anger in a place where you don't disturb others and let the anger out with primal screaming or beating inanimate objects like a pillow.
There were many applause during the speech but not at this time of the very important statement. Maybe it was because the audience realised this was something to think about?..
@@tatianavinograd7591 yeah, people don't currently understand how powerful the force of judgement and mean-spirited criticism is. We're so used to being judged, we can't appreciate loving suggestions when we get them.
A wonderful video by Warren. But I think its important to mention that even if you are a father with a great marriage, a good job, an even tempered personality, and do every thing a modern father is expected to do, you will still have a target on your back. In fact, the MORE involved you are in you're children's lives--- the more you are the face of parenthood for your children--- the more targets will be on your back (and theirs.) I learned this the hard way. My image of myself, even as a child, was to be super dad. And so I set about being that thing very early in my life. I got together with my wife in high school, I got my education, my wife and I created the perfect egalitarian marriage filled with love and understanding and patience, I got a great job, we bought the house on the hill, and we had our children. In that time I happily washed bottles and fed the babies and woke up late at night for the kids and took them to the doctor and schlepped them around at work when we had no other options and played with them and wrote and printed children's books and if for some reason I couldn't take them out to show them the beauty of our world, I took them with me to an inward world of fantasy and storytelling. I also wanted to support my wife in her career. She was working toward CEO at her company of 15 years, and in that company she was competing with men who had stay at home wives that carried the challenges of child rearing. I wanted her to have an equal shot, and I wanted my daughters to see what a happy, successful woman looked like. I look back now and shake my head at how naive I was. I never stopped feeling that target on my back. It didn't help that my kids were biracial and to many observers, didn't look like me. "Are these yours?" "Were you going to leave those kids in the hot car" "Oh, is daddy baby sitting today?" "Does Mommy know they have that bruise?" And so of course eventually the thing that I feared would happen, happened. My daughter bumped her face in the night and got a bruise. My wife was away on business. So I did what a good father did. Went to the doctor's office, got the xray which came back normal, and because she was healthy and otherwise uninjured, sent her to school. Every step of the way I knew that people would see a father alone with his daughter, who had a bruise on her face, and it would only be a matter of time before someone assumed the worst. CPS was called and the children were yanked out of school and interrogated. They cried when they got home and they cried all night, because their worst fear is being taken away from their parents, who have built a Peter Pan childhood for them. After I spoke with a family lawyer, he confirmed my suspicions: this never, ever would have happened had it been your wife with them. Now myself and my kids trust none of the people we are supposed to feel safe with: doctors, nurses, teachers, principals... My lawyer tells us we are now under scrutiny, and if it happens again, we should pull our kids from school. I've come to realize why men are so reluctant to step up into the role that I've stepped up to (and the role that I love and adore and which has brought me such happiness). If you do everything right and everything you are told that a man and a father should be, the same people who would criticize you loudest for failing to be that man will punish you for it once you are there.
I made this comment on the first upload, but I still find it weird that the one of the larger applause line from the audience is the addendum he adds about how hard single mothers have it. I'm not against him adding this, but it is an obvious fact that is commonly accepted/know, so I don't think it is necessary. What does make confuse me a little is that it gets significant applause when it is not directly related to the solutions proposed or the symptoms given of the Boy Crisis (title of his book and topic of the talk). It gives the impression that the audience is rather disengaged from Warren Ferrell's points in the beginning of the talk.
Fun Fact: back in the 70s Warren used to prey on single mothers. He'd invite them to dinner, and at the end of the "date," he'd ask them to split the bill. He thought it was funny, and not only did he see single mothers as easy targets, but he'd "punish" them for demanding "equality." He is not a "nice" guy, and got off on dating the ex-wives of men. I'd say he is a weasel.
Have read this guys books. His diagnosis is good, but his solution is maleism. The answer is for men to rediscover Christ and adopt the role God gave us.
as good as it would be for everyone to turn to Christ- the ARC's work to include speakers who are providing recognition/evidence that the Judeo-Christian worldview has merit, and their attempt to bring secular evidence to push people towards the ideal roles the Father created for men and women shouldn't be overlooked despite this being a non-faith-based perspective. it looks like he (in this talk) is hinting at men to overlook our own wants and desires to help raise and love our children. which is found biblically. Turning to Christ will save the soul and renew mind, body, and spirit, but maintaining a daily practice of putting others needs and wants ahead of yourself's is in it's own right noble and virtuous.
@@briand8335 I hope you are right. Sadly what I’ve seen of the men’s movement is that it adopts leftist feminist and unmanly victim/grievance techniques. It is though better than the amoral manosphere. Oh, I’m back, where I started. Faith, hope, charity, prudence, fortitude, justice and temperance. So more evangelism from Catholics like me. Even then in our worldly exile, it will still be lord Jesus have mercy on me I am a Sinner. God bless
@@briand8335that includes working more when the family needs it... Whether men like it or not... A weak man makes his woman work full-time while he's a part-timer. Nothing good will come of that. He's throwing Eve to the serpent. Men need to protect women... And I'm not going to take the advice of some guy wearing a rainbow tie who questionably might not like females... he literally worked with feminists.... That isn't a well integrated male at all.
What I don't like about these studies are, you can tell whatever false story you want with them. I love men, families with dads are better. However, when he said things like, kids with dads are more empathetic, mature, have higher self-esteem, and are more independent, how does he know that was taught ant not just genetically passed down? The men who are more mature, have higher self-esteem, are more independent etc., are more likely to attract and keep mates in the first place and most likely passed those same genes to their girls and boys. It would be equivalent to centuries ago, people saying tall kids are tall because dad played with them more, they did rough and tumble play more, they enforced boundaries etc., How about the obvious, tall dads pass on tall genes because women like tall men in the first place. These studies need to control for genetics and stop assuming so much of how a kids turns out has to do with if mommy and daddy read to them bed time.
I find it strange that the leading voice in boyhood and fatherhood has no sons or biological children. As a wife and mom of four sons, I have more insight and expertise than this man
This is an oximoron right feom the first moment. Guys need more sex? Even more? Dont they already have everything they can? Women suffer way more - focus on that pls
Men suffer more. Look at Russia and Ukraine. Which sex isn't allowed to go out of Ukraine? Which sex is far more killed in the war? Look at Selective Service System. Which sex is forced to register the system? Look at the conscription that Germany will re-introduce. Which sex is forced to respond to the draft notice? Do you really want to be a man?
