EVer FKd a whore? They were the closest thing to being a stranger but know how to service me. I did that one time, And she feel inlove with me. TReated me good for years.. of course she was still a whore, but at least I got it for free, and anyway I wanted. I know how this may sound. But it was the safest emotion sex, I have every had, outside a intimate relationship as a demisexual. That is why secretly in my heart. I like whores, for what they are. Not that I pay for it.
2 BE very clear: In Most infj infp I never thought they Had sexual Feelings at all. No gentle touches, no flirt, No Talk about Sex, cuddles, Kisses, hugs...the only 2 infj I consider as "sexual" are infj Clay and Lexy. Greets.
"...it's not impossible for the INFJ themselves to be left utterly speechless and uncomfortable with just how odd their mind can be at times." So true 😂
definately have had a malfunction where someone does the right amount of absurd and unexpected things back to back leaving me in a deer in the headlights state of stunned and mentally incapacitated.
Infj woman doesn’t like excess pda or vulgar gestures. Speaking for me we are intellectuals. Attraction is never just based on looks. We take the intellect, sensitivity and overall self awareness to qualify real attraction. Character is really number 1.
I think most of us have a set of values we look for. For me, it's integrity; compassion and kindness; intelligence with an open mind, a religious understanding and sense of humour. Looks, money, social status, mean nothing.
Absolutely...I saw another video describing INFJs as "sapientophiles," i.e., as individuals for whom deeply meaningful communication is essential in a sexual relationship.
As an INFJ woman, I can say for myself arrogance in a man is completely a turn off for me for the reasons listed. When arrogance comes into the play in sexuality, for me, I feel it bastardizes the vulnerability involved in opening oneself in one of the deepest ways. It’s almost as if the other person who is expressing this trait is looking at you as if they’ve conquered you, rather than seeing your choice of vulnerability with them had arisen from your own free will and acceptance of them. So it was the utter polarity of it, as acceptance implies humility.
@@carolferguson19 very first thing a competent man looks at in a woman is her balance between how many male friends she has verses how many girlfriends she has. More male than female is a clear sign those poor unsuspecting, clueless souls are merely waiting their turn in line. Sad fact, but in every society, past, present or future, still a sad fact.
For me as INFJ man, attraction grows the more I learn and know the person, the more emotionally closer we get and grow together, person becomes more physically attractive and need for connecting physically grows more and more.
I like different people. For me, run of the mill good looks and ideas leave me cold. I want someone who's unusual and smart, as well as kind and friendly.
Wow. I thought I was like this because of my upbringing. Pair rarest personality type with super rare childhood. I grew up in a Christian cult community, but no communes- just super strict, no sex before marriage, no dating-> old school courtship, didn't watch TV, sex was bad, EXCEPT in marriage! And even that was only for procreation! Yeah, because you can just flip it on and off. And I try to tell me husband- I'm the real deal! Sex with strangers is not exciting to me. Actually, it's terrifying!
INFJ woman here.. definitely this all feels true. When I am truly in love with somebody and feel completely comfortable with them my mind goes very spiritually high vibrational ideas and places.. so when I was once with my husband of 13 years, (about 11 years into the relationship LOL it took me this long to get to this level of I don't know what? Spirituality? Sexuality?) suddenly I saw us in a garden with marble walls on one side and one side was open-air looking out into a world of beautiful fruit trees and lush gardens.. and in the moment seeing all this beauty turns me on and made me way more passionate. It was so bizarre because when other people talk about their sexual fantasies or experiences nobody I know has ever been through this..
@@gabrielle9563 So true! And to look at this in a spiritual way the 'merging' becomes a complete lack of identification with self. It's the surrender with another that signals complete acceptance .And I think this also describes us. Lonely souls looking to become one with another. Words don't do it justice.
In every situation (other than the bedroom) I find myself within myself, observing others and trying to pick up on what is making them tick. I am calm, cool, and self assured and may appear a bit passive. But once we are in the bed with that special one, the gloves come off. I go into intense mode. It is all about her. My goal is to be the best she has ever had or will ever have. My needs are secondary. My total focus is on her and sending her to places she never imagined. That is what gets me off.
INFJ male here, covered it all perfectly. My personal experience though when I was unhealthy and in an extraverted sensory addiction mode twists a lot of this to making awful choices in partners and doing things I normally wouldn't have been comfortable with. When we really can't state our boundaries and will do anything for the person we choose it can get very, very ugly for us if they're toxic. It's so important we don't lose ourselves in our hopeless romanticism and are able to state our boundaries! Thankful for the many experiences it's given me lost in that state, despite the trauma it's now a source of peace knowing I can provide a vast variety of pleasure from those mistakes for the person I love and share that with. Took a long time not to be ashamed of sadly.
I might be alone in this, but I have a slightly different take on one point hehe. So basically for me, intimacy (in whatever degree) is tied to a person and not an activity. In this case, sex in and of itself isn't necessarily intimate and can be enjoyed casually (and/or frequently) like other activities with people. It's essentially using the same given body parts to generally feel the same type of similar sensations / potential pleasures, regardless of it being different people. It's indeed within and through profound and complex connections true intimacy is formed. Getting to know, understand and accept each other / share and feel pure emotions, discuss and grow from each others pain, fear, shame, regret, hopes, dreams, wishes etc. That level isn't reachable by many people. Unlike sex, which by nature is more a simple physical act of pleasure in comparison, but still a fun time, even if void of any connection. It becomes something beyond sex if it's with someone you have reach that intimate connection as I mentioned. Same as having conversations with others, often it's the intimate bond with close friends what makes those meaningful, but can also be considered valuable / appreciated in some way with a complete stranger. Anyway, just a quick 'in a nutshell' thought as I killed some time :).
Usually simple physical acts of pleasure are mentally unhealthy. Its actually a huge problem we face today in society. An oversexualized society leads to less and less of those connections that are something beyond sex, and why as you said “That level isn’t reachable by many people.” Because sex is what held that bond. It gets to where sex is just sex. No matter who it is with. Two people with that emotional connection, but when they have sex, its just sex. A good time that feels good. The emotional bond has no reinforcement. Its a relationship destined to fail. Like any drug, you build up a resistance to those endorphins, and hormones that cause close bonds. Making long term relationships almost impossible. Someone with many partners, will continue to seek something they don’t get from their current partner. Which all have strengths and weaknesses. More partners, equals being used to more strengths in all areas. Something no one person can ever satisfy. Which ultimately leads to infidelity, deception, etc. I do understand your train of thought. Especially when someone is young, and male. Because its easy to actually view it as completely meaningless. Because it usually is. A guy has 100 partners, he wont even remember 1/2 their names. A female usually remembers every aspect of them all, and can’t help but subconsciously compare. Men as well, but for us it doesn’t cause the same “unfulfilled“ feeling that suddenly not having all those strengths causes. Sex without those emotions toward someone seems like validation seeking to me. We should be concerned about the other persons well being as well. Just having fun, is also another partner for the other person. Which in our society, and to men. It’s generally a very low number that makes them not long term partner material. Which generally speaking creates the experiences of those in this comment section saying they are done, and modern women are not worth the risk. Because the more extrovierted types. Comparatively speaking, almost all of them. Lol Become very toxic. The same as the modern male “Alpha” phenomenon does to women. Combine the modern feminist “I don’t need a man except for sex.” With the modern Alpha, “Women are supposed to obey their man.” mentalities. It creates this world we live in. Single parents, and divorce. The incapability of being monogamous. Creating more single parents and divorce. Which causes a majority of the children becoming emotionally damaged. Narcissistic or to a much lesser extent more empathetic. Who rarely heal. So theyre on antidepressants, falsely diagnosed with ADHD, etc etc. Along with the unfulfilled adults. Who also get put on anxiety and antidepressants. While being told “Anxiety and depression can happen for no apparent reason.” There’s ALWAYS a reason. We can train ourselves to believe anything. “Its just fun. No harm done.” What we can never do, is lie to our subconscious. It may take years, but it will always let you know eventually “Thats not OK.” Sorry.. ramble ramble ramble. Thoughts just keep pouring out. Im sure some get it, those that don’t, I apologize for the book of random thoughts. They literally never stop. lol Also not meant to be offensive or judgmental to anyone. Just my two cents, and can’t say whats best for everyone. We are all in this sht show together. ❤for everyone.
The SN may be an exception. Things are quite real and meaningful in those ….situations. Lol The world is a wonderful place. Good times good times. 😂Well, until your up to a buck fifty per night, three times a week.
What she said! Exactly! I’m a male and this is especially difficult dating in todays hookup culture. I look for making a connection while the woman is looking for just physical pleasure. They are confused in why I’m not making a move.
Totally! While I detest how society generally has become enormously superficial and hollow, I still strongly believe that looks can carry a lot of information, but can very easily be deceivable.
Everything fits except the thing that I like beautiful people. I can not like someone pretty if they are arrogant and unpleasant, especially to me, but looks really matter to me.
As an INFJ I can attest to having a vivid mind and overly elaborate scenarios that can be quite kinky at times. But our people pleasing ability can get in the way of that, so if a partner is not into that, their well being and pleasure takes precedent over our own desires and wishes. nothing to me is more off-putting than a (sexual) partner who does not enjoy themself. I mean if my partner is not happy in a relationship, how can I? that only goes so far obviously, but lust for your own sake never works, it has to be a synthesis, not a one-sided thing, otherwise, pleasuring yourself works pretty good too, say when your partner is not in the mood. but yeah, that emotional connection is tantamount and requires trust, openness, vulnerability and getting to know each other pretty good usually. to let someone in into our "inner sanctum" in a sense takes a lot. We do not open that door for everyone. you need a vip pass for that.
I am definitely demisexual. Even as a child, and into my teen years, I never wanted a shallow, sex/appearances-based relationship. I never wanted to kiss or have sex with someone based on what they look like. In school, when other teenagers were getting in and out of relationships every other week, and talking about their sexual escapades with pride... I found it all disgusting, and listening made me feel depressed and frustrated. I do have an overactive imagination, and I dream and daydream a lot, including sexual fantasies. These fantasies can be crazy, and go completely against my own morals and values... but even in those moments, I know I would *never* actually do the things I'm thinking of. Even if the fantasies turn me on at the time, they only do so because they are in my head. The thought of *actually* having any sort of sexual encounter with anybody other than a true partner for life, actually makes me sick. It's not an option for me.
OH MY GOD! I needed this exact video 10 years ago! Thank you for this I was laughing with fulfillment and excitement at the sheer accuracy of everything in this video =D =D
I'm a full-on infj however, although I don't choose a partner specifically for their looks, it still plays a very important part for me if I were to feel attracted... I don't know about any of you out there but it can make or break it for me.
Same... they have to be at least somewhat attractive.. I think many infjs out there may not want to admit this. We not only value quality of intellect, but also beauty where ever we find it.
Well, I can be attracted to someone but being attracted to them physically isn't really what it is. It could be the personality and characteristics of that person that makes me attracted to them and possibly intellect..... And sometimes the potential that I see in that person and what they can be and achieve... And what we possibly could achieve together if that person happens to be in my life later on..... I guess I like who I like.
My fantasies over sex, are extemly normal and non deviant. I have been alone for years, even though I have money and AM rather good looking. But people hurt me. Women hurt me because they want to be right.
.. and expect you to constantly prove that youre an alpha. Always need to pretend that you are certain about everything. Remaining open to other possibilities is weak
Sad we can't just learn about ourselves as we grow and experience life. It is an adventure not a video description. Me, I love a good looking man but there has to be much more.
The emotional connection- yes. No emotional connection, no turn on. Which is why I do not understand a friend of mine who feels like he made a mistake by marrying his best friend and now not feeling turned on by her. To me, your best friend- assuming physical attractiveness- is exactly who you should be turned on by in that "Marry me and let's make babies." knd of way. But, maybe that's because my best male friends were always kind of borderline on about to become lovers.
Oh my god!!! You explained my soul and my secrets! Yeh now I know why I am a demisexual...And why I have some fantasys poetic, romantic and with espiritual and very deep conection, like twin flame soulmate....We infj want to melt our souls with the person we love and poetic thinks are very exciting for us, like flowers under the bed, candles, wine, say poems and love words , wispering, trust deeply in our parthner, fell that we are loved for them...Without this intimicy don't work for us. Thank you so much!❤❤❤ñ
Thank u very much for this one. Romantic and sexual stuff not much disguessed here on web, if it comes to NF types such as infj types. Very helpful. Thx much. My brain thought infj are not interested in romance, nor kissing, tbh, coz they not communicate even on web, but clay and lexy both infj, show and share. Thx. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Lots of INFJ women in the comments. I have wine, music, incence, and I'm about to make a lasagna. You're welcome to join me if you bring good ideas, questions and conversation.
My whole life passed me by and I was never fortunate enough to meet a woman I truly wanted, who was my type, for to be in love with me and understand me and be a romantic partner to me. A college girl with a nice figure from a good home and family, who was active and adventurous and wanted to scuba dive with me. Wasn't much to ask but I could never meet one.
How very interesting, I always thought I was an "Asexual", but "Demisexual" really does sound more accurate. But in all honesty, I think I would be too self conscious to call myself that. 🤔😏 Because it sounds like I'm calling myself a "Demigod", and I'm not that pretentious 😅.
Demi- and Recipro- sexualaity are both classified under asexual, so you're not wrong. I feel like a lot of us INFJs fit, personally feel torn between both.
I hate it when a man is arrogant! Even when a woman is! I know 4 me it's relationships r all about emotional depth, mutual respect aka my libra born trait, n respecting each others boundaries n personal space, beliefs, background etc....... I hate when people r like " Y r u so sensitive 2 EVERYTHING"? IM JUST LIKE " I DIDN'T ASK 2 B BORN THIS WAY"! LOL YA KNOW?
I dont like conventionally attractive people because i have my own concept of attractive. This doesnt mean i can be with someone who im not attracted to
I’m an INFJ and I have indulged in FWB plenty of times and didn’t have any issue with it. Sometimes it’s so much easier as I don’t have to put up with all of the other person’s crap, nor do I risk being hurt. So it’s win win. I think there’s plenty more to sexuality than personality alone.
lol, I must admit all of my relationships have started with a "one night stand". That said, I'm usually the one racing ahead planning a future, & gets told off & to slow down.
I was born with a highly charged sexual aspect but kept it to myself with great restraint. When I met the person I thought would be my lifelong partner, I gave100% of myself to them, love, devotion and I trusted them. When she broke that trust and wanted out of the relationship, I was devastated. I truly thought she felt the way I did. I could barely endure the pain I felt and was in a state of shock. I switched to a different college and tried to move forward with my life. Something changed, I found myself having thoughts like, "I can't believe I was ready to commit to one person for the rest of my life. I'm young and there are so many different and beautiful people to experience." I abandoned my restraint and went with the flow of my new lust and sexual rationalizations. In just a few weeks time I was quite surprised that I was inundated by women who wanted to be with me. Many were aggressively competitive with each other. Over the next two years I had an embarrassing number of intimate encounters, sometimes because I was lustful, other times because I didn't want to hurt someone who was trying so hard to get my attention. Then, I stumbled upon someone who literally took my breath away. I never felt such a powerful magnetic pull, it seemed like I had no choice, this was the person I was destined to be with. We eventually got married. We rarely discussed our past relationships, no point, we were together now, the past didn't matter. When we were in college our social circles overlapped and we shared many friends. Of course, we kept in touch with most of them after we graduated. Nice, right? The problem was, over the next several years bits and pieces of our past relationships began to fall out of conversations with friends and land in our conscious thoughts. It turned out that we both had a couple years where we abandoned our self discipline and in hindsight regretted this period of poor decisions. We decided to let it go, we both messed up but we both got our acts together, got married and started a new chapter. But, the knowledge of our pasts kept creeping into our thoughts. I sensed a negatively surrounding our marriage, a distant resentment from my wife. When we wanted to be intimate, unwanted thoughts of her past would pop into my head. I eventually developed a crippling psychological form of E.D. which, didn't matter to her, the resentment she had towards me turned into disgust. Our pasts slowly unraveled and finally ended our 13 year marriage. We both thought we could let it go, forgive and forget, we made mistakes. But it was impossible to unsee it. Over the years it has also come to light that we deeply hurt some of the people we so casually gave ourselves to, not realizing that playing with people's hearts is playing with fire.
This is also very true. It means sex is not frequent. As a gay man, my approach to sex is not welcome to most of the gay community. Sex there is much more transactional.
I'm not a hopeless romantic. I'm just hopeless. I'm permanently stuck in Friendzone with absolutely zero chances of that ever changing. Nobody has ever wanted to so much as go have coffee with me, let alone be in a committed relationship with me. Due to particularly bad circumstances beyond the control of either of us my last attempt at dating ended in a real disaster and since then I thought the hell with it. It's just not worth it. F🤬 the whole dating scene. And I don't mean in the bedroom when I say that.
@@harryboyes2812Im not saying you haven’t done so. You still have to be in the position for it to happen. “Wake up, go to work, drive home” doesn’t leave much room for new connections. Unless your job entails consistent line of being introduced to new people.
@@91GT347 Actually, yes it does. But that's never helped either. "Try new things, do this, do that." Heard it all before, tried it, got nowhere. So don't tell me I need to do whatever. I already have.
@@harryboyes2812 Maybe you are better off. Listen to the horror stories of all too many of us men who have been put through the mill by women and you will know what I mean.
I'm at my wife a long long time ago when I used to be able to drag her around by the hair. I think I was hunting Mastodon when I met her the first time. We've been together for eternity how many different times. Are tribes have been interwoven throughout the ages. She know she's the only woman in I'll ever love. It started a long time ago when I used to drag her around by her hair. She didn't like it then she doesn't like it now maybe I might have evolved but I'm not sure I would still dragging her around by her hair. It's a good thing they made rules for that
Yes, I'm an INFJ female, n I feel my personality makes me attractive 2 others! All facts listed above relate n resonate 100% with me! My chameleon like approach 2 human communication naturally effortlessly n unknowingly draws people towards me! I'm definitely a people magnet by nature! Yet I don't like people cause im an INFJ n I seem weird or odd 2 people who first meet me! N even after they meet me I'm still weird lol 😂! Hilariously mysterious am i! 😂🎉😊😮💚💙🩵💜💯😇🙏🙌🫶💪 I'm very proud 2 b so highly alert n hypervigilant! Im proud 2 b such a multifaceted individual!
