I'm in a unique situation. I was raised Catholic and left the Xathic church in 2008. I've identified as a Christian afterward. I met buddhist wife, and started a family. after 10 years I found the truth in Islam and the Glorious Koran. I took my Shahada in January. My wife has no interest of becoming muslim. I also don't force my religion upon my family, but I pray that Allah(SWT) puts ease in my mind and makes the path to Islam easy for my family to easy for then to recognize , Inshallah. Allahu Akbar!!
Oh wow your situation is a bit unique. I am sure Allah is all forgiving. Continue making duas for your wife to become on the right path. I thought I have heard that it is okay for wife to not be Muslim. Maybe continue showering with family the true religion or even taking them to religious countries to see the beauty. Just some thoughts. I will pray for your situation but may Allah make this easy on you.
Assalam alaikum mashaallah brother, welcome to the religion of peace, may Allah make it easy for you. Plse try to find whether your marriage is ok to continue as your wife is not Christians or jews .
Nikkah has been made soo difficult when haram in this society is so easy. Im 26 and hardly know any Muslim sister around me. The few I know barely practice and have no shame doing what non muslim are doing. I have hope Allah will not leave me alone and I know she is out-there waiting for me. I pray Allah bring us close real soon. Allah help us all young brothers and sisters. Aameen
I always say the same thing than the sheikh about the strict segregation; because how I'm going to marry a muslima sister if I don't know of her existence.
I am of a similar age and have the same issue. However, I think I finally convinced my parents to help me find someone. I tried bringing up the matter gently and slowly and helping them understand my point of view. My parents are helping me find someone and I am very grateful to them. I told them the haram is too easy and I never had a girlfriend nor do I ever want to and they eventually saw my point of view. May Allah SWT make it easy for you and me and all the Muslim brothers and sisters looking to get married through the halal way. Aameen.
Their no such thing as race it's nation and tribe the system of European supremacy created race out of racism look it up cuz any scientists well tell you that
@@pingpong1465 well!!! at the university here & work place most Asian women are with non Asian men. Most often their parent don’t even know it till it’s too late.
Subhan’Allah! I after watching this video, all I could say is…. Alhamdulilah Allah saved me, by befalling what I thought at the time was the worst calamity of my life, which turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me bc it made me turned my entire life to Him. Not only did I not become the first hijabi in my family but I ended up marry an imam/an Islamic studies professor. Alhamdulilah Rabbil Alameen! Please make dua for the sister, that’s the best thing we can do for her. May Allah grant every single Muslim Hidaya and make it easy for us to worship Him🤲🏾
The reality is it's a numbers game. Men should be encouraged to marry within the faith. For every Muslim woman there is less Muslim men to marry and if those Muslim men are now marrying not Muslim women, what options are there for Muslim women? This is a topic that's not addressed. Allah knows best. I teach my son that he must not be tempted to go outside the faith and leave the rest to Al- Imran.
This is so beautiful to hear sister! mashaAllah tabarakAllah May Allah always bless your marriage and our sisters and brothers going through this in our ummah
Every father reading this treat your wife like a queen love her don't abuse her and don't make her cry do this while trying to practice your deen and your daughter will want to marry a man as good as you.
"Treat your wife like a queen" and I assume the wife should treat her husband "like a king"? Your advice isn't practical, and different situations demand different treatments
@@wakemeup38 The subject of the talk was women marrying outside the faith. (To be honest this talk is 20 years too late our scholars are always playing catch up.) How many young brothers do you know who don't want to marry in the faith or don't want to marry at all because the mistreatment of their father's or uncles or grandfather's. Yet I'm meeting many young women who don't wish to marry because they don't want to face abuse. Men have a greater responsibility placed on them because they hold more power over a woman. Also if you in a an unhealthy relationship regardless of your gender it is not fixed with more harshness it requires gentleness and more gentleness. Besides this father's are the head of the household so if their daughters don't marry within the faith because the example they left they will be responsible. Also there is no excuse in our faith for abusing hitting or mistreating a woman no matter how bad she is men are advised to be patient, withhold from intimate relations or divorce if they are faced with mistreatment from women so my point still stands.
@@technabro5757 I don't blame girls who say that they don't want to get married because their perception of marriage is marred by what they have witnessed around them. I used to think the same. The only thing that changed my mind was the hope that there are good Muslim men out there. On the other hand, I have seen women sacrificing everything for their husbands, facing abuse, and living with the knowledge of their husbands sleeping with other women. These things can have a huge impact on your outlook on marriage.
When he said "the love of Allah is more than the love of that man" How many can say they love Allah before their child, their parents, their spouse or dunya? If you can you are a pure Muslim.
And also it's about our men in our community the way they treat our women in the house holds and while they grow they see a lot of women the way they live with their husbands.
So true! Some Muslim women want to have peace in their lives and if a Muslim guy doesn't know how be gentle, kind, understanding (basically good character), she will have to ask herself if she wants someone that says they are Muslim but lacks good character or someone that believesin God and has a good character? I pray these types of Muslim women find Muslim men with good character 🙏🏿.
It's refreshing to hear an imam talk about these taboo issues which take a lot of bravery. Also, I like that he is actually trying to suggest some practical solutions than simply blaming parents and culture or just talking about the problem.
A grown man discussing someone else’s private business in front of a room full of other grown men is not brave. It’s like a cult. Imagine if members of other faiths were discussing this about Islam
Points taken: 1. Good Islamic “terbya” upbringing. 2. Be proactive & lay the foundations & your expectations. 3. Make halal “nekah” easier & accessible. 4. Tell them the reality of love. Love is not Permanent. 5. Marry within the faith, not necessarily the race. 6. Allow healthy desegregation of youth in community gatherings or events
Jazaka Allah khair We also may add ( from shiekh lesson) harshness does not fit the environment our kids live in. Find the middle balance dealing with your kids especially at early maturity age ( teenage period).
WOW! So grateful to Allah that he protected me from falling prey for getting married outside of my faith despite not having the normal childhood Subhanallah. Today this lecture really hit me hard cuz i feel that my KING Allah SWT has been watching over me when i least expected 🤲 Deep respect for you Dr YQ for covering this topic. Crucial and awakening lecture indeed.
nope didnt protect u from polio or covid or earthquakes or global warming but yeah allah has the most important job to do in the world, not preventing wars or covid but to peep into the bedrooms to check whose sex life is halal or haram. peeping tom
While I do recognize the importance and truth in all of this. My husband married me when I was a not so good Christian and when I had absolutely no interest or intention of ever converting. And here I am 4 years later A muslim. In my situation, this crisis we speak of actually was an incredible blessing for me. Alhamduilallah
Alhamdulillah that you converted. However, the problem here is quite different. Your marriage to your husband is sanctioned by the Qur'an, with certain conditions. There is no requirement in Islam for a Christian or Jewish woman who is married to a Muslim man to convert to Islam, even if it is highly encouraged. The case discussed by the shaykh here (the marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man) is prohibited by the Qur'an. Hence, your children with your husband, even when you were Christian, would have been considered legitimate. Since the marriage of a Muslim women and a non-Muslim man is not Qur'anically legitimate in the first place, any children born of the relationship while the husband is Christian would be considered illegitimate. They would be excluded from Islamic inheritance rights, and would carry the severe stigma of illegitimacy in Islam, even if the husband subsequently converted. May Allah protect us from such circumstances.
a muslim male can marry christian women because in islamic law the father chooses the name of the child and children HAS to take the religion of the father otherwise he would be sinful for marrying a non muslim.
@DrUsaama Hold on here ..Muslim men can only marry believing women, it is strictly forbidden to marry mushrikat.Allah says clearly in Quran that nasara ( Christians) are mushriks and only very few among them are believers. Today there are not even one Christian sect which says that God is One .Marrying Christian men forbidden for Muslim women because Allah considers them mushriks, in same way their women forbidden for Muslim men as well
Alhamdulillah for You Sister... may Allah continue to bless you and your household. Increase you in taqwa and perfect your deen. Some comment in this post are reason why some sisters are not willing to marry to Muslims brother, our aggressive nature turn them away and sometimes what they experienced with their parents. May God ease our affairs and make us a Good believer not just on tongue but with deeds.
@@rosannatimars8 not all of them are mushriken they are many of christians that d'ont beleive in the trinity and Allah in the quran said that we are allowd to marry from the people of the book
Sheikh Yasir Qadir is the most logical and sensible brother who understands very well the society we live and how the Shari’ah can fit in the Western world. May Allah protect our children! I love you brother Yasir for the sake of Allah!
Mashallah great talk, I wish I had this advice from someone 10 years ago. Notion of love is definitely not as we see in movies. I am still battling to save my marriage, but so much has gone on when should I draw line, I have a beautiful daughter but don't want to turn her world upside down. Please make duah for me🤲
About love, the romantic notion of love prevalent in the world today with its superficial values and criteria, is not recognised in Islam. In Islam you cannot love someone and expect Allah to give HIS blessings to your relationship unless they first love Allah with all their might and soul and submit to HIM totally. It is meaningless to "love" someone who does not love his/her Creator more than anyone else. They have to love Allah more than you technically before you can claim to love him/her. You have to love Allah more than him/her as well.
@@f.b103o you are going to teach your daughter that it's okey to get cheated on? And be very careful,you might want to go and see a sheikh ,you and your spouse, also be very careful, infidelity can bring diseases in your home, people seem to forget that there are STD's
JazakAllah Khairan Shaykh for being brave to talk about these sensitive issues. I've remained unmarried since I reverted 22y ago, much of the barriers being cultural and not fitting in with a particular group. This has to change and we need to be more tolerant as an ummah.
Yes I definitely agree with you I feel you. Culture is the most dangerous experience. Most people are so hooked with culture rather than practicing Islam. That's the problem we have.
@@Rtygghjkjj it's completely natural for most people to stick to their own. Most people are tribal in some way and people are opening up to others as they learn about others. Completely different now to what it was only 30 years ago. Expecting it to change overnight ridiculous. This new globalised chapter of the world where we have melting pots of different cultures living together everywhere is still new.
@@SK-kh2rs America is based on individual liberty. Its foundational principles of individual liberty and freedom is more adherent to Islamic principles than what is observed in Arabia. America has its problems, but it is the freest and most liberated country in the history of the world. It is doing more for humanity than any other country, That's why Allah continues to bless it with bounty and being the light of the world...IN DEED.
Sheikh Yasir You nailed it. It is a wide spread issue in our Muslim community everywhere. More lessons of these with some examples of how to approach these issues is needed in our community.
I was in love with a catholic man and wanted to marry him. Allah has taken him away and now I'm marrying a Muslim man who's also religious. I'm in love with Allah and his messenger. Everything that says in Quran is in my heart more than anything now and I'm truly thankful to Allah that I didn't make mistakes by marrying a non Muslim. Emotional decision is never good.
@@hasibabdullah3463 what you said is just outright nonsense cause if this was true then women wouldn't be encharged in taking care of a child since the child at its infant stages is very delicate and requires careful delicate descions which according to your worldview women would not be able to fulfill since you said they are more emotional and can't take decisions properly. Your argument is batil honestly The wisdom of guardian can be best described from the perspective of providing support since women are not obliged to provide for the family generally speaking in the Islamic framework. Do you actually realized the irony in your comment? Instead of thinking carefully and verifying your statements you uttered an ignorant comment based on your emotions thereby ironically proving a point on yourself. You want me to show you the number of men who fell for haram acts that spoiled their image? In fact men many times are mentioned in topics where they would not think rationally but rather think on lust and do the haram activities
The man is the driver. not the woman. i dont like that she is muslim and hes aetheist. the man is always less flexible and the woman has to be putting up with alot of garbage to make it work
@@lisettecamejo4243 Mine is a female view - 100% agree with you that a female Muslim marrying a non-Muslim is an invalid marriage. However I would qualify your comment by saying men had substance in the time of our Prophet PBUH and outside of this century however in the present day world men are incredibly weak and incredibly weak for a woman of beauty in particular. So a Muslim man though he can marry women "of the Book" in fact it is bad policy to do so because women today exert great influence in a household and over men as the men have become incredibly weak. You will see that a Muslim man married to a Christian woman for instance - well just watch the children and judge for yourself how much confusion there is. Next is an important point - a Muslim man contrary to what Muslims believe cannot marry just any Christian or Jew - only those who believe in the ORIGINAL Injeel not the totally rewritten Bible of today. Original Injeel has no reference to Jesus saying he is God (Astaghfirullah). Ditto Torah only those jewish ladies who subscribe to Allah as sole owner and Creator of the universe and Moses PBUH as his Prophet. So a Muslim male does not have carte blanche to marry any non-Muslim but he can only marry a woman who accepts the Unity of Allah however best is to stick to a virtuous Muslim wife who can influence the children in an Islamic way.
This should be watched by Millions of muslims. Sent it to my friends with children. So important but how will Muslim women marry if a significant minority of Muslim men marry out of the faith. Muslim men living in the west should marry Muslim women if they want a Muslim household.
As a islamic teacher I'm not teaching the children of men who have disinvested in my community of muslimahs, and aiding to the knowledge of the offspring of a non muslim women who helped a Muslim man disinvest.
@Miss Amirah yeah those are the extra funny brothers, not married to a Muslim women as a muslim but chatting on how muslim women should cover. Naseeha is naseeha but check your bootyshorts ahalal kitabi first😅🙄
MashaAllah very important talk. So important to understand the needs of our children and to make Nikkah easy for them. Nikkah is coming with a big price tag of expensive gifts and a hefty Mehar which young people cannot afford and parents teach young girls the more gifts the boy brings and higher the Mehar he respects you and value you more. Make Mehar affordable for young people. My daughter got married last year I told her just ask as token and she said $500 I was so proud of her. We are very well off but I raised my daughter to value the relationship and not the material things.
We don't want daughter to be given away super cheap because then men think it's easy to marry and easy to divorce. Divorce is more difficult on women especially after children born. It needs to be reasonable Mehr, a percentage of his annual income would make more sense -10-20% of gross income. Keep wedding party simple but Mehr higher that's for the wife. Wedding is just 1 day,
MashaAllah Ustad, you were able to address this big elephant issue so easily, I'm having second thoughts even for sharing this. Not easy but has to be discussed in every family, old and young. May Allah protect all our families and children.
@@pareenahameed What if the test is whether you follow a 1400 year old book or your own brain. And people who follow the book fail the test (goto hell), because they propagate hate against people who dont follow the book (to the extent of calling them sinful)?
@@pareenahameed Yes @pareenahameed what you say is absolutely right. Indeed Allah SWT gave a free will to human being, and if he or she will sin they will be punished with fire. Angels and animals have no free will, and they always obey Allah SWT.
A must watch video! Well said and a good lesson for the muslim community. Unfortunately, this is a very common crisis in the muslim community. May Allah protect us all 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻
Jazak ALLAH Ya sheikh, as always your KUTBHA yesterday and this KATHIRAH on point fir this days and times, may Allah continue to bless you with more beneficial knowledge.
Ameen. I am too a Sri Lankan. I hope many of our Sri Lankan Muslims watch his videos too. I haven't been able to see a scholar to the level & religious proficiency of Sheikh Yasir Qadhi in recent times. He is Unique. His messages are important & very timely not only for the west, but also for all Sri Lankan Muslims. May Allah forgive us all!
The problem lies within the harmful dogma of our communities:.. the prejudices in our people; the treatment of people, the conditions of choosing an arranged marriage.. dominantly favouring men.. sisters are judged for appearance, status, parents of sons seem to have a field day .. women see mothers, sisters in our community suffering hence a community oriented union becomes less attractive.. our children naturally start looking elsewhere
So whats that got to do with chosing a kaafir? That relationship wont be marriage but zina, and would u hurt your beautiful muslim parents? And leave your beautiful muslim homes to embrace a lifestyle of a kaafir man?
Jazak’allah dear brother! I must say that opened my eyes as a mum of young kids its great the concept of ‘prevention’ and the talk you gave made me realise how wrong and counterproductive our cultures
I agree fully with all points that you shared. Personally, we practiced all those points with our children from long time. But, there will be more to discuss and add to this conversation and this critical topic; 1-I hope that this topic can be addressed among all Muslim communities during Friday prayers and to open a community discussion openly with all its members with different age and gender to reach the bottom of this problem and to come with a concrete solution that we all have to share to take steps to get rid of this problem. 2-we have to have community gathering monthly as Eid celebration gathering, to go slowly from this heavy segregation to a better and healthy organic engagement among the youth of our communities. 3-traditional and arranged marriage is very important at young age but this is not the only way but also carefully considering marriage’s websites will be also productive to tactile this problem. 4- living in the western culture especially in the USA has a great benefit if we use it right to solve this issue that was not available before. I mean that Muslim women have a great chance to marry from 2 billion Muslims across the globe, not just from America only but from anywhere through breaking this cultural barriers and the false idea of scarring that you will marry from someone just maybe to make paper ( citizenship) from you only in USA and after that he will leave you but you can go to live with him in his country back and forth together. Muslim women here have a huge chance for marriage than any woman in anywhere but they have to have the gut to take steps in the right direction to process this marriage contract right. 5- this is not a new phenomenon or problem among Muslim community but.always existed when Islam was spreading to a new land where Muslims were a minority. Muslims never tried to break the Islamic laws but they found solution to go through but in our situation now is very unique situation and complicated because of the openness of sex and its legalization across the western domain that make the marriage more difficult but not impossible. 6- Omar, second Khalifa of Islam, addressed it when Muslim men married from Roman women leaving Muslim women without marriage and he prohibited it. JAK
SubhaAllah, I can feel the pain Shayk Yasir Qadhhi as he is talking. As a mother I can't image how the poor mother is going through. May Allah guide the Muslim youth. I do agree with you with arrange marriage and it is not back word, however smart, very well thought of and it is the couple choice at the end of the day.
@@adamj5937 yes agreed. If I was a parent of daughters, I will homeschool them and marry them off at 16! Studying and corporate life in the non-Muslim world serves the agenda of dajjal. I have spent 15 yrs studying and working, and I know it's a waste of time for a good Muslimah.
"One common complaint in many western Muslim communities is regarding the disproportionate number of unmarried sisters to brothers (although both are likely increasing year after year), and this is for a number of reasons. The following are summarized points of concern raised by brothers and sisters in the western Muslim community - points which are not all-inclusive or necessarily objective, but they're all worthy of careful examination and rectification: 1. Many (but not all) cultural parents care more about preserving the religious well-being of their daughters more than their sons, directly and indirectly through their parenting and teachings. In some responses, education was cited alongside this point by many sisters. 2. A complaint from many sisters is that there aren't enough "practicing" brothers who have stable incomes, mental stability, maturity, and basic religious adherence; the usual follow-up is that people are generally experiencing delayed adolescence due to social, economic, and environmental trends. Some brothers responded to this claim by citing the unrealistic financial expectations, unreasonable cultural expectations which complicate the process of marriage, and financial difficulties due to cultural expectations surrounding marriages and weddings. 3. A complaint from many brothers is that the frameworks of "secularism, liberalism, and feminism" - all used here as loose definitions requiring their own separate academic discussions (so don't get hung up over the labels) - have, in many cases, negatively influenced many Muslim women indirectly and made them less appealing candidates due to their adoption of many trends which conflict with Islamic teachings (just as these frameworks have also negatively influenced men in other areas). 4. The loss of "real manliness" as well as the "extreme cultural influences on men" - where manliness is twisted into abusive behavior against one's spouse rather than being the household leader, protector, and maintainer - was cited by many sisters as a hindrance to marriage. The issue of knowing the differences between religion and culture was highlighted by both brothers and sisters as a contributing factor. 5. The social issues of hyper-sexualization and unrealistic beauty standards, combined with limitless media consumption and unrestricted glances by both men and women, has caused many men to subconsciously set unrealistic beauty standards in their search for prospects, overlooking in the process a significant number of practicing and compatible sisters. 6. The deterioration of hayaa' (loosely translated as "modesty") in men and women has also been cited as a major concern; in many cases, the loss of the proper understanding and implementation of hijaab (i.e., not as a "fashion statement" or "loose headscarf") was referenced as an obstacle by a significant number of brothers. Additionally, many brothers emphasized that the general loss of modesty in marriage prospects was their only obstacle to marriage, and it was based on their "general observations of prospects" through social media and at local MSAs, mosques, and events. 7. A lack of religious education, pre-marital workshops and lectures, and general cultural and parental influences was cited by both brothers and sisters as a contributing factor. 8. Cultural stigmas surrounding divorcees was cited as a negative factor by a significant number of sisters in many communities. Islam doesn't condone this cultural stigma, and this is why the distinction between religion and culture is crucial. 9. Age was mentioned as a factor by a few brothers who believe that the delayed marriage age in sisters was a negative trend rather than a positive one (e.g., "their focus on education and careers for too long before marriage"). 10. A general lack of consistent religious adherence was cited by both brothers and sisters in many responses. This is not an exhaustive list of contributing factors, nor are there specific solutions being addressed in this Facebook status, but these issues do require attention and continuous education via a multi-faceted approach. Additionally, we must individually assess our own actions online and offline and ask ourselves how, if at all, our statements and actions contribute to these factors. More likely than not, most people are already aware of the above-mentioned issues, but the question is more about our affirmation or denial of such trends in the community. You have a role to play regardless of your status; this includes parents, married folks, single brothers and sisters, and educators or event organizers of various backgrounds." - Suleiman Hani
Our parents are Preserving cultural not religious .. this crisis is from them, in judgment day I hope they will be accountable!!!! They won’t allow us to marry Muslim or anyone who’s not same tribe. Islam is not about this.. when u make the halal haram, the haram will become halal.. is not her fault parents need to take account!!
What do you mean about stigmas surrounding divorcees? It is obvious that men prefer virgins, even divorced men. This is but natural. Even the best men to have ever set foot on Earth (PBUH), preferred the garden that has never been grazed upon. This does not mean that men think divorcees are less human or morally defective. Just like men prefer younger women, fitter women does not mean older women or less fit women are less human or morally defective. The divorcees should focus on the things they can control: getting and staying fit and becoming more submissive/feminine in their mindset. They also need to have 100% healed from their last marriage.
@Lolla Lula Nur a muslim woman is supposed to be obedient to her husband, that's the divinely ordained gender role for her in marriage, the independent self-entitled modern muslimah is an anti-thesis to that and thus is not appealing to muslim men, to use their own failure to uphold the divinely ordained gender roles as an excuse to marry non-muslim man i.e. willingly committing kufr and zina is just lame.
I totally agree with the segregation. I was just wondering, why it’s so difficult to even say Salam to a Muslimah, but I can easily speak to any non Muslim woman respectfully but for some reason it’s so difficult to even acknowledge here. And also how are we supposed to marry Muslims when we feel like they’re hidden away? SubhanAllah I definitely agree there’s a fine line but I do believe there needs to be a change.
@Luqmaan Rashid lol, define just fine? Clearly this topic indicates that over the past 100 years, things have certainly not been fine and only getting worse. Furthermore, society was very different back then and the world is not the same. Segregation has to be within practical limits. By your logic, the world should be divided into 2, and each gender should live in their half. Being aware and interacting with the other gender under the right conditions is completely halal. As the brother mentioned, how is one suppose to find a Muslim spouse if their entire circle is filled with non Muslim opposite gender people and they don't know if any potential muslims partners. You can say parents will introduce and what not, but not everyone is in an ideal situations. So many people live away from parents to families who can introduce you to someone. So let me ask you, did it occur to you that you spoke without thinking and without getting off your high horse?
Your comment is spot on with the lecture, unfortunately it went over their head. To the bothers and sisters that do not understand the comment: we are referring to ways of avoiding our children marring non Muslims in a western society. Non Muslim men and women are easily accessible if we had more ways to interact with others of our faith it could deter us from being drawn towards non Muslims. He didn’t say abolish separation because it’s a beautiful and important concept to have a brother/ sisterhood he said there is a fine line. As an involved parent if my daughter played Islamic trivia, games, activities with a mixed group in a masjid I would be content that my daughter interacts with Muslim males rather than the non Muslim males at school. I don’t know if you all didn’t listen to the lecture or misread what @ibraheem KHAN wrote. Allah knows best in Sha Allah we can as a community come up with a way to keep our children on the right path.
Sheikh, you tell the mother to boycott her marriage but then you say how long will you boycott your daughter? This mother should be encouraged to embrace her future son in law snd god willing, through the actions of the parents, good deeds, great manners snd patience, he can one day accept this great religion. Let’s spread goodness on earth instead of segregating from other non Muslims. Who knows that Allah swt brought this man who is an atheist today to get the knowledge that these parents can instill into this person longing for direction! May Allah swt guide us All to the righteousness. 🤲
Thank you for saying this. Her family embracing him can very much bring him to Islam. Love and kindness are very powerful and when we talk about these things, the solution is always to cut someone off or pass judgment. Let's talk to these interfaith couples, bring them in. Chances are they love their faith and want their kids/partner to love it too but with this shaming culture/practice..guess what? They leave the community all together. Not necessarily Islam but the muslim community. Also, can we be a bit realistic here, we are a minority in this country. Some don't even have a muslim community in their city. We need to lead with love in these conversations. Only Allah knows our intentions and I pray God makes it easier on all of us.
Excellent lecture on a difficult topic. Extremely practical ideas that are full of wisdom. Thanks brother for addressing this issue and providing valuable guidance.
Mash Allah May Allah bless you shaykh yasir qadhi this is the best way to prevent this problem we are facing today. May Allah the Almighty open the doors of wisdom and knowledge amen. You are absolutely a key figure of Muslim scholars.
Assalamo aleikum, commenting from Norway. May Allah grant her strenght and protect all our children. Great of Sheikh YQ to adress these important matters and I totally agree with him. May Allah accept all his efforts and grant him the best in this life and the next.
Pray pray pray make lots of duas for your kids.. don't wait till your kids grow up .. parents have difficult times than ever before.. lots of open counselling and friendly lectures should be conducted for kids from the age of 10 so that children understand this topic and are aware and not deluded towards the trap set up for them by the world.. children are so vulnerable and are being targeted from everywhere these days
Make Dua and take some action. The fault is with the Muslim man and the Muslim woman is watching and what the man has or can have the Muslim woman wants with no superior public right or figure the children of Muslim familiars discounting things about Islam. In our community in Oregon in Sha Allah we won't have this problem our children can't wait to grow up and and take control of this deen and community.
Narrated Abu huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, " two words (sentences or utterances) that are very easy for the tongue to say, and very heavy in the balance (of reward), and most beloved to Gracious Allah. The words are: SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi, SubhanAllahil azeem."(Hadith number:6682 Bukhari)
Narrated Abu huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, " two words (sentences or utterances) that are very easy for the tongue to say, and very heavy in the balance (of reward), and most beloved to Gracious Allah. The words are: SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi, SubhanAllahil azeem."(Hadith number:6682 Bukhari)
I like the little girl who stands up and starts looking around when sheikh Yaser starts talking about knowing of each other's existence :) 🤣 may Allah bless her with a ratious husband when she grows up. Ameen!!
I think one of the solutions could be to ensure all young Muslim adults attend a mandatory course on all things nikaah. It will psychologically prepare them and focus their minds on the right thing.
💯 agree with ur ruling in regards to marrying a non Muslim may Allah swt reward u, many people has misconceptions over this issue in uk, may Allah swt guide us all and may Allah swt grant our kids hayate tayybah.
Why don’t you talk about the Muslim men marrying non Muslim women? The kids are not Muslim. This is MUCH more widespread than the Muslim lady marrying a non Muslim.
I totally...Tonally agree with Shk Yasir Qadhi to the fact that we're putting too much segregation to out young son's and Doughters in our community as a result they meet other non Muslim man or women and fall in love with. May Allah help us all.
I listened to this lecture live after isha. The sheikh had a valid point. The Muslim parents everywhere get what they want. They want doctor, degree and money iman and faith is not a requirement any longer for Muslims. First question they want is a resume, bank statements. So yes, Muslims will be marrying outside the religion going forward. Marrying now requires an application and documents, credit scores etc. I pray Allah guide the Muslims.
Thank you so much for this Kutbah🙏🏾. I have a situation with an unmarried daughter, who I believe has been protected from the ills of the things you have mentioned. Your Kutvah gives me hope in how to assist her to keep up her faith until Allah sends us the answers and relief regarding her getting married. She is a good person, but getting fatigued. Shukhran and May allow Bless you for what you are doing for and how you are guiding the community! Salaams 🙏🏾
Alhamdulillah Sheikh! Some excellent advice! Marry within the Faith NOT the Race! Don't be so strict parents about anyone getting married, especially our youth! Life is too short for cultural differences in this day and age! It's 2022! Let these young adults make up their own minds! We don't know how long we're going to be on this Earth! Allah is in "Control" not us! Let Allah's WILL be Done! Everyone needs to stay in their own LANE! 🥀🥀
I love you . I love you . I love you. Thank you so much. I have been struggling with this topic for so long as a parent of four. You have literally spoken from our hearts. May Allah swt bless you and give you righteous children. Ameen. Be blunt , don’t be sorry , you have spoken TRUTHFULLY!!!
I agree with all that you said. I would even suggest we break it down in simple terms and explain it kinda like how long-term relationships work. Non-Muslims are in 5- 10+ yr relationships and that's seen as normal which is a long time especially if you're together from a young age like high school. If we treated marriage as a long term relationship that works with a lot of effort put in and not the pressure it holds in our community many might be interested in marrying/nikkah at a younger age. Sadly we still treat divorce as taboo when it's just another break-up after considerable effort has been put in including therapy and counseling. Halal divorce is better than zina in my opinion. If people were given proper health education, consent classes, premarital counseling and can get tested on the religion at a younger age we could possibly do the nikkah earlier as you suggested
It is crazy that young people get engaged and their families do not speed up the marriage. Whatever the family spends on the young person can be given to the young persons and let them marry. Spend on them to marry young and finish their studies together. What’s wrong with that? If you don’t they end up with non Muslims. So think!! If you want them to marry within the community that need to marry before they exit the community into the world at large
Complete gender segregation means we will not learn how to interact with one another in a halal way. Segregation is generally crucial…but not totally. We know the Prophet ﷺ interacted with the opposite gender and that the sahaba did as well within the limitations of Allah and Islam. May Allah guide us and forgive us ya Rab!
What BS. You know how many millions in places like Yemen and Afghanistan and even Palestine people get married via arranged marriage? Families know one another and both people are allowed to interact. This is to ensure you will not be played with emotionally and esp protects the sisters from exploitation.
Interacting with the opposite gender is not the same as mixing with them. If a woman comes to your house, knocks, has a conversation with you at the door and then leaves, that is not the same as going to an event and standing shoulder to shoulder with women outside your family and such things as this. I think the biggest problem with relaxing this is that it makes it possible for us to relax everything and lose Islam altogether. If dating before marriage will help Muslims get married then let's allow that too! If they want to get physical before marriage but just not to the level of zina because that will help them get married then let's allow that too! It's not a good precedent to set.
@@fark69 you just suggest we water down our deen. No. We must go back to arranged marriages. And networking for a wife. No dating, no intercourse, thats shaytaan !
My marriage story. Before marriage, i always prayed that i get married to a man that i have never ever met or seen until wedding date. Wallah. Allah answered my prayer. Haha. We are third cousins. We have never ever met, chatted or texted. Prior to that, by Allahs help, i protected myself from relations outside marriage, saving myself for my future husband. We are only 7 years married now. May Allah save all marriages from falling apart and may he grant spouses to those who does not have one. Prayer is the key girl and boys and, do not ever engage into bf and gfs by always asking Allah to make you not engage into those.
When you talked about the halal being made difficult, you talked about my what my heart wanted to say. Here in the Indian subcontinent, Parents are looking for a perfect husband for their daughter and the expectations especially financial are so high that 35 is the new normal in marriage. Hope we don't do this injustice with the coming generations.
@@infodaynightconv1445 How are you to insult Pakistan, you don't even know what you are talking about. In Arab countries every single arab country support Israel over Palestine. You also do arab bellydancing where you shake your boobs and ass, talking about haram.Pakistan is the one of the most stricest country when it comes to Islam so don't say what you are saying.
"let your children marry within the faith not within the race".... absolutely beneficial, a must for all! very important and relevant topic we need to know and think about in this day and age that most don't talk about, I agree with Shaykh 100%, jazakAllah khayran Shaykna for talking about this.
Ma Sha Allah. I really wish some Muslim brothers keep open minds to Muslim women trying to be better in their Deen and be patient with them rather than writing them off because they are not “perfect” e.g wearing hijab. Some brothers are not patient with women and are looking for perfection hence, why some women don’t have other options that to marry non Muslims.
Finally an imam which looks at society and the faith based in its current time i. e 21st century. I am a 100% beind the suggestion of exposure to one another in the youth community. As you point out the sister that took the atheist man was raised in a practising house, yet took a different path, perhaps if a halal choice was available and easily be reached this would have been a different story. As has also been mentioned one cannot defy the biological needs and those expectations will manifest and can only surpress for a while, therefore, the right stock needs to be made available deliberately. As a community we need to come up with yearly events dedicated to promote Muslim dating.
What an important topic to be discussing right and at the masjid. This is groundbreaking.. we all need to have these conversations in our households when we live in a non- Muslim country. How do we take care of our youth and their well-being not just getting a degree but getting them settled.
Lol getting a degree basically means accepting middle class non Muslim white western culture All educated people I know drink and party More than gangsters in my town
Alhamdulillah I agree with everything that my dear brother Yasir is saying may Allah put in every Muslim heart this way of thinking when it comes to our children. Allahu Akbar 💕☝🏼☝🏻☝🏾☝🏽
Part of the issue is that Muslim men are constantly marrying non Muslim women even targeting them as a marriage preference. Many times the women may have been born Christian but has never really practiced the religion and many Muslim man marry straight up atheists as well. When our brothers, in Islam are constantly marrying outside of the deen it creates a real shortage of men available for marriage. It also creates a shortage of Muslim men in the future due to the kafur wives not raising their kids as Muslims.
These marriages often don’t last and then they try to marry Muslim women. Also, these days many men don’t fall. For the trap of marrying non. Muslim women, and some Muslim women marry nonmuslim men 😢 I don’t believe theres a shortage of muslim men, but a shortage of both logical, balanced muslim men and women.
Shieck, I've observed, that it's unfortunate, that the parents are living in illusion and deceiving themselves by saying I trust my child forgetting the surrounding. May Allah guide us to do what is pleasing to him. Amin.
A major contributor to this problem is the abhorrence amongst modern Muslims for polygamy in our societies. Feminism has been at the forefront of driving this hatred for such a noble act. An act that helps societies operate cohesively and provides security and safety for all believing women.
This is a very serious issue across all madhabs, sects & continents, may Allah make our elders, thinkers, ulema, mashiaqh from across the sects and madhabs, discuss this very serious issue and issue guidelines to muslim community.
I wish the sister who is choosing to marry a non Muslim nothing but goodness but personal experience as a revert who was divorced twice before reverting and Alhamdilliah a successful marriage with a good Muslima was given as a blessing from Allah SWT because I came to Islam, marriages of passion/ illogical emotion almost never work.
But we shouldn't be forgetting that a muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim without having her Islam nullified, she no longer remains muslim if she does that, this is unanimously agreed upon position in Islam.
@@SinaAla If she says that her marriage is halal then she's a kafir, signing a lifelong marriage contract, which is in fact zina, is declaration that the woman either deems it halal or doesn't care about it, in both cases she's a kafir.
Alhamdulillah for those who are living in majority muslim countries, because this thing are extremely rare. I understand that there are many reason such as economic, security reason etc to live in non muslim majority countries, but islamically, to live in a peaceful muslim country is the best decision any parents could ever make.
I myself if my daughter want to marry a non Muslim, I just tell my daughter to invite the man who want to marry her to Islam, and as a mother I invite my son in law to Islam. I married a non Muslim American and now he is Muslim, my mum and I invited him to Islam and voila he became Muslim , why we Muslim dramatize everything? Invite to Islam with kindness the ones who want to marry our kids.
Much needed advice... There's a definite crisis in society n us parents need guidance in dealing with these issues x jzk sheikh x may Allah swt reward u immensely ameen from Luton England x
In the case of this woman who is insistent on marrying an atheist, I wouldn't be surprised if he's convinced her to denounce God as well. Because if your tauheed is very strong, you wouldn't even consider marrying an atheist unless you are strongly positive you'll get him to accept Allah as the creator and become muslim
My local masjid is having a single Muslims event with ice breakers and group convos for bachelors/bachelorettes aged 21 to 45. I think it’s a good idea!
Assalamualakum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatohu ,I’m so glad that you’re talking about this topics .especially to our young children who needs to know that
As a revert to Islam, I am honestly terrified of not being able to deeply read into a Muslim man, and he ends up beating me or killing me. Or just hating me. I love Islam, I’ve met excellent Muslim men. But I have heard enough horrific abuse of Muslim women who I love to stay away. I understand abuse can happen in any relationship. This is one relevant to me. I can’t propose a solution. Men stop beating and killing women I guess.
You are correct that men have a problem with abuse. If there is a group of men who do not abuse their women ever, please share as I want to read more about their religion. The reality is that the disease of abuse is extremely prevalent across cultures and peoples, however a person who fears God truly will keep Gods limits in mind.
Totally agree with the imaam. Where I live there’s always boy’s nights, playing sports after salah and dinner after salaah etc. Then there’s functions… ladies ONLY… my sons never get to meet any young ladies and the saddest thing my one son now going out with non Muslim girl…. I have no other family around me… living in an adopted country. The imams need to wake up to what’s real… my heart’s breaking .. when are my young sons supposed to meet possible spouses…. … I pray for all parents especially mothers who has no husbands… for strength and that Allah guides our young Muslims and let them hold on to the rope of Allah… and try to not despair in the Mercy of Allah… ameen 🤲🏼🌻
Mahool, is a great influencer. The west has this great disadvantage, the freedom, wrong becomes right, because it is all around you. Allah Tallah's mercy be upon us. Allah Tallah protect our children
Without due respect, dear imam you have to change too. You’re not in a muslim society where you throw the responsibility only on parents’ shoulders. You too you’re responsible. You have to be active in your community and organize often meet and greet. All the parents don’t have connections and there are women alone who want to marry a man of their faith. But muslim men prefer often to marry a non muslim women in hope they’ll convert. The look is more important for them than the faith. You should start by educating men. Women want have children and a home. They wait, but could not wait for ever. Their biological span is narrow. Marrying a non muslim, because available. He offers love and security is better than be alone and getting older in a society that fragilises mostly women. Another problem: when a woman wants to meet an imam to talk about her problems, in general he refuses to meet her. He meets only men. And if he meets her, he makes her feel uncomfortable because she feels he doesn’t have all his mind, he has strange looks like wondering what she wants from him etc… This is frustrating. Women in general don’t find help. Guess what’s the solution? Another point: the woman who called you crying, you were not supportive nor kind. You ejected her as she was a dirt, sorry about this term, but it’s the only one I found. Imam in general are crual not helping women. They bring here the way how they act in their country of origin. We need a new kind of imam, more engaged in their society. Helping young people to meet. Going checking on the sick, the poor, the orphans as do the priests. Some people live in total solitude and for help they turn to the churches. Why are you absent!!?
I don't believe this, the imam sees everyone to talk about problems,you cannot generalise. I am not sure how did you get this? Also muslim comunities, not everywhere i agree, they tend to take care of each other. Unlike Christians, they judge you and leave you behind.
Hear! Hear! @Ana Rivera totally agree with your miniature essay. Sorry only just came across this RU-vid video and I'm currently reading through the comments with great interest :)
@@samirachami2209 show me. In u.s. there is a reconstitution of countries. There is no solidarity inter racial nor inter Muslim countries. Only same people from same country stay or keep to/among themselves. The dream is to see a melting pot.
It's emotionally devastating for practicing Muslim parents who left their traditional and Muslim majority countries/communities to make a better living in the West, and if some child of theirs ends up leaving Islam or ends up jeopardizing their faith by marrying outside it. What is the point of the nicer home, the nice car, the top notch university education for the children if God forbid it results in a child abandoning or sidelining their relationship with Allah? That would literally destroy a God fearing parent.
Alhamdulillah very welcomed lecture. One of the most important point missing that is How Islam is haq not like any other religion. Without this how much any one do qiyam al laid not much imp. Fist need to convince Islam is Haq not like one of the religion
Thank you Shyakh for your point of view. Always felt the old system of getting the Nikah done while young and then arranging the Ruksat when the couple and family are more amenable is a real solution at this time of crisis. Preventive measures is the only way in today's social system