The Dark Side of Introverts 

Comment below if you're an introvert or extrovert or in between. Let's see how many of us there are ;)

Best part about being in the introvert club: There is no club

7 Dark Traits of Introverts 1. Bad attitude towards teamwork 2. Overthinking 3. Self-Depreciation 4. Bottling up emotions 5. Pessimism 6. Lost of identity 7. Cutting off contact Thnx for the likes :) Especially from Psych2go

I shared this with my wife when i found it. I tried to explain things in my head but i feared she didnt understood so by sharing this it helped her understand. After she watched it she came in and sat on my lap and hugged me tight telling me how much she loved me. She is an extrovert and she has helped me feel more comfortable interacting with other people. She is an amazing woman.

As an introvert I must shamelessly say that I can apply myself to every single example. I used to be like that. The good thing is I made some progress and stopped bottling myself from people close to me and started noticing my own value. Sending power to all introverts that has to deal with any of this traits. Stay strong, folks. 💪🏻

Signs You Might Be an Introvert: Need quiet to concentrate. Are reflective. Are self-aware. Take time making decisions. Feel comfortable being alone. Don't like group work. Prefer to write rather than talk.

"No one really know me. I don't even know myself." This is what I always think about.

0:59 Introduction 1:00 BAD ATTITUDE TOWARDS TEAMWORK 1:32 OVERTHINKING 2:15 SELF-DEPRECATION 2:47 BOTTLING UP EMOTIONS 3:25 PESSIMISM 4:03 LOST OF IDENTITY 4:37 CUTTING OFF CONTACT 5:21 CREDITS

I’m an introvert and yes to all of these. And I have lost friends because they felt I didn’t reach out enough for them. Each time I was completely bewildered by this. I thought the amount of contact we had was fine. I’ve stopped even trying any more. I have my hubby and daughter and sister. That’s plenty for me.

As an introvert, I enjoy just saying "yeah" and "oh" in phone calls. What about you?

I’ve learned that keeping silent and distancing myself is better than my words being misconstrued.

Years ago I took a bunch of psychological tests, and on one, I was told I was "off the charts" on the introversion scale. When they explained that an introvert was someone who needs time alone to gather the energy to be around other people, I felt like I finally understood myself. That knowledge gave me a lot of insight into myself and helped me to navigate the world. I'm very comfortable with being who I am now.

I'm an introvert, who was painfully shy as a child, and found it hard to make friends. It's interesting to hear about extroverts optimism about unwise things. I have always thought that pessimism stopped me from trying harmful things, such as smoking or alcohol. Instead of thinking that getting hooked only happens to 'other people', I realise that to most of the world I am one of the other people. I also think that being a loner protected me from peer pressure. When I grew up, I worked full-time in a psychiatric unit for 10 years. Coming in contact with alcoholics, vindicated my choice to be a 'boring teetotaller.'

The worst thing about being an introvert is people ask this really irritating question as to 'why am I silent'. 'why don't you speak?'

To be so understanding and never understood hits different..

The following bit about teamwork had me laughing out loud: "It can produce greater results if the teammates are compatible and communicate in a healthy way." This only happens in the rarest of cases, if ever. Welcome to the real world of work, where teamwork in most cases is a drag and there will always people that take advantage of the team, leaving those that actually want to get the work done, with more work. Oh, and let's not forget the arguers and naysayers. So, yes, I believe, 90% of the time I CAN do better when I'm working alone. ;)

This is the first time I hear of the term ''ghosting'' and it makes sense as part of my introvertedness. I've ghosted people throughout my life, unintentionally and intentionally. I've lost friendships because of unintentional ghosting and still feel guilt about it to myself many years later. When you say no two times to people it becomes easy to say no a 3rd time, and then you wonder if they still like you and you may feel embarrassed, so you may no longer try. At least I now I have a word for this dark trait. I don't mind being an introvert but it has its own curses.

Everyone agrees that her voice acts as a stress reliever

MOST OF THE TIMES THE DARK SIDES BOTHERS THE INTROVERT HIMSELF/HERSELF

Being an introvert basically born without any dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations or ambition whatsoever has been tough. Also not having much of an identity has also been pretty hard. Yet, I have come in terms with myself and who I am. I check most of those boxes in the video too, but I'm not too hard on myself. Overthinking is my greatest enemy by far, followed by near crippling fear of crowds. Just going shopping can and will drain my mental batteries for a few days. The more I can be alone the better. I can experience loneliness, however, something that I have only recently discovered. But only on small doses and when depressed. Making almost any decision is extremely hard and takes ages. The bigger the decision, the longer it takes. And the fact that I have been like this basically my whole life some plus 30 years... It hurts when people accuse me of something when they literally don't know me at all. That I make excuses, that I lie or I'm lazy or something... They can't imagine what it is like... To have no dreams. No hopes. No ambition. Nothing to strive for. Like I'm dead inside. But that's not true at all. I am a kind person, compassionate, a bit oversensitive at times. I just want to live my own life in peace and not bother anyone. I stopped looking for a "cure" a long time ago. Instead of thinking what's wrong with me, I started to understand that it's just who I am. I'm not going to fake myself to become something I'm not. I'm not going to force the change for the sake of other people. Become a fake... a complete stranger in the mirror... If a change comes, it comes and I'll gladly accept it. Appreciate it. Try to understand it. I hope you all have a wonderful day! 😊

You may never read this, but thank you for uploading this video, I have gone to therapy for many periods of time through my life... But never did any of my therapists understand, the problem I had with overthinking things for a long time, I thought I was different in a negative way to everyone, because no one that I knew ever understood that problem... But seeing this video comforts me a lot because it makes me realize that I am nothing special, am just a simple person with some negative of my personality. Thank you for helping me humanize myself.

If an introvert were an action figure, he would be "The Overthinker - he'll take you down with an infinite loop of thoughts..." 😂😂😂

The no.6 "lost of identity" hit's my soul hard. Introverts fact: some of the introverts sometimes pretend to be a different person to fit in the surrounding people and environment. That's where they tend to loose and forgot who they are and how they usually act. In my case. I think I have pretended to much that I forgot how I act in the past

I am proud to be an introvert, actually. As an introvert, I feel like most extroverts are too dominant (bullies sometimes). I am usually so intimidated by extroverts and I can only be around them for a short time. Also, they seem to flutter from action to action without stopping and I prefer to stand still and sift through information. Even the dark side seems quite alright to me.

I’ve been accused of overthinking because a person told me ‘I want to do a will before I travel in case I die ‘ (they were going to America) and I was like ‘here are five or six things you might want to include’. Sometimes people would rather accuse you of overthinking than admit that they didn’t think at all.

It sucks when you want to watch things like this just to feel that someone understands you.

i’m an introvert the part which said that we tend to cut off contact hit me hard i have lost many friends because they thought i didn’t like talking to them or something i’ve gone months on end without communicating to people and i don’t talk to them anymore which makes me sad, but when i DO talk to people, i get exhausted and can’t seem to tell them that i am tired and will talk to them later i feel guilty about it and i don’t know if this is a thing only introverts do (probably not) but i have always shown myself as a person who makes other people want to be comfortable around me, people usually come to me for advice or just to share their feelings, i want to do that too but i feel like i’m too much of a burden on them and that makes me bottle up everything, i really want to open up but i’m scared to.

I checked every box many times in my life. Not only are these traits getting more pronounced in my life, but I have begun to embrace them. I’m tired of putting on a face for others.

I believe it was one year ago that I realized that I´m more of an introvert and a thing I recently started to do was to write down things when I was overthinking them. Now whenever I have something on my mind I write it down, describing what it is what bothers me, how I feel and how I could change it with or without help of others. It really helps to calm me down and focus on other stuff.

the self deprecating and cutting off contact thing is pretty true. there are very few people i can genuinely tolerate and i generally dont have problems cutting people off, even friends or relatives

The worst part in being an introvert is when you can't even talk to your family, it makes you feel like adopted.

I'm an introvert with ALL of these traits,I find nothing wrong with them,them make me stronger,people fear what they don't understand so they call it dark as if to label it as evil and undesirable.

I honestly find myself inhibiting most of these traits mentioned. I think only pessimism and loss of identity were things I didn't relate to in any shape or form x) The thing is though, even with these dark traits of mine, I've noticed I've started to have improvements of my own concerning what there is: - I used to be REALLY afraid of dealing with other people because I got used to people being lazy and uncooperative back in my early years of school. That and because classmates didn't really like me (I've always been called oddly mature), so I preferred working alone than with others. That reflected to how I wouldn't rely on anyone for anything, even with things where I actually should've. I've started to learn to work with people in the recent years though and nowadays I'm pretty much able to have people involved. I am still afraid some people might just take the easy way out, but I usually have a plan B for that. - In the case of overthinking, I could feel disturbed about possibly offending or hurting someone for hours, even days unless I actually went up and apologized for being rude. And in response, they would just laugh it off that there's nothing to apologize about, it's fine xD So after a few times I've learned that things aren't as bad as I make them out to be, but of course it's good to never forget to bend your knee when the credit is due ^^ - I make self-deprecation humor quite often, but not in as much of a bad light as one might think. More related to the company I'm with rather than my own psychology, I tend to make springy jokes about pulling the worst card out of them all in every case, but in a more comedic sense for people to laugh to. I for myself am pretty proud and think strongly of myself in the end of the day :) - Bottling up emotions is honestly a more tricky chapter in my book. You see, I rarely ever express bad emotions to anyone, but it's not because I'm bottling them up and waiting for a disaster to happen, rather I just don't feel a damn thing lingering within me for too long. I can usually take bullshit in the other ear and then leave the other without letting it bother me, assuming there's no good reason for me to take that to heart - I do take constructive feedback seriously! I tend to worry my friends whether I'm okay because of the way I am, but I'm always there convincing that everything's okay. In fact, I use my steeled resolve to help my less mentally fortified friends to get through hard times and listen to their troubles with a calm composure. It makes me proud of how I am! - Cutting off contact is something I used to do quite discreetly and mercilessly when I was younger, but I've become less... demonic about it as I've grown up. I used to just tell people straight up that I want nothing to do with them anymore and not bat an eye about it or say something that makes people avoid me for months, even years. But nowadays I tend to be more reserved about that, poke on the ice and leave it if I don't like someone or if it's someone I've known for longer, maybe be honest and tell them that what we've got going on isn't really working out. I value communication so much in my daily life and I rather leave no room for misunderstandings. I always want people to know how I feel, both in the good and bad x) There's still room for improvement with whatever shortcomings I have, but there's always time for that. Towards self-betterment! :>

The only reason I "ghost" people is because they never contact me first. It's always me who contacts them to keep the friendship going, so I give up and let them be. I have only like, one friend who ever DMs me. I don't generally go around making friends anyways and have always preferred having a small friend group anyways. The only other time a friend DMed me was for help on his geometry homework.

The worst part about being this way is living in a world where the only way you can be "happy", surrounded by "normal" people is to constantly force yourself to not be who you are. It's literally like you were born to be your own worst enemy.

I am an introvert, it has been proven by my family and friends. In this video, I am all traits except for the last one... And like you said in the video with introverts losing themselves, that really hit home for me. This video helped explain why many things happened in my life. Like me being happy in the present then upset because I remembered something from long ago, but thank you verry much.

As an Introvert i really hate working in groups and i think it's better if i work alone. I think it's bc when my class needs to work on a group project my teammates always gives me all the work while they are playing games. So i'm used to work alone even in groups.

Introverts are introverts even when hating, we literally direct all the bad feelings to ourselves, and even when is a bad feeling directed to someone else, it just stay inside ourselves making us mental ill

As an introvert, it’s not that I despise teamwork. I just need the confirmation that each role in the team is understood. What I really despise are people who do the absolute minimum and coast along on other people’s work and effort, with little to no contribution.

I have always had a problem underestimating myself. I worked with a therapist and we came up with a physical intervention. I would grab my wrist, say my name and Stop! Then refocus on all I have already overcome or achieved. It worked! I am not as hard on myself, can recognize when I am being hard on myself, and stop it without the gesture, but imo starting with the gesture was key.

This really explained a lot It also triggered a lot when all the difficult interactions with the introverts came to light.

"You should be more positive!" "Alright. I'm POSITIVE this won't end well."

I think the hardest person for any introvert to confront is themselves. After all, you’re the only one who truly knows everything about yourself, and thus your subconscious has the power to twist your past into something that you despise yourself for. Confronting that darker side of your subconscious is one of the hardest things to do.

I finally feel so understood!! Thanks for this vid 😊

Damn, talk about hitting the nail on the head. I deal with all seven issues. And the hardest is having lost a few of the friends through the years. Especially after I move, usually to a different state.. I’m too old now to care to change any of these things as they are just another part of my life. Good video, I hope it helps some people.

You know, the strangest thing about being an introvert is being so comfortable being alone. It has its uses sure but it makes it very difficult to get out there and meet someone. Especially in this incredibly socially isolated time we live in.

*Psych2Go:* "Are you guilty of any of these traits?" *Me:* yeah, but just like...all of them.

The speaking voice of this young lady is so calming.

I am an introvert, and I sometimes fall prey to overthinking things. What lifts my mood is NOT focusing on myself. It could be that I'm spending a day with friends, or doing a creative activity, or watching a program that teaches me something new or makes me laugh, or caring for a pet, going for a walk, etc. There is a whole world out there...lots of things to occupy one's mind.

The reality is, a lot of us introverts became introverts through circumstances in our lives, we are in a way, cursed with knowing that we can't relate to the majority. This leads to a lot of us shutting down, and avoiding people because we can't find anyone that's "like us." I was pretty extroverted in the past during my younger ages. But as trauma has popped up time and time again I have spiraled into being a complete introvert. We are very analytical of our surroundings, and can mimic emotional auras around us. However, that isn't truly who we are, a lot of us are often very sad, low people. We know the truth of how the world truly is, and we simply can't adopt that happy go lucky persona because we know that life itself, is rarely a happy thing. For a lot of us who have lost people in our lives to death or even abandonment, we quickly judge those around us. Often comparing ourselves to others. One of the biggest things as an introvert that I deal with is always feeling like a burden to those around me. And it's difficult for me to fit in with society, because I simply can't relate to the masses.

Introverts are not broken. We do not need to be fixed. Learning techniques or tricks to help you through certain situations can be helpful. Remember, though, that you are not fixing yourself, you’re adapting to difficult situations.

INFJ here and I can confirm that I check out on all aspects except bad attitude towards work. Among all of them, I am especially most likely to ghost, overthink and self-depreciate. Being alone is both a curse and a blessing for me, so I tend to reach out once in a while and when I am in solitude, I make it a point to not to delve to deep in my negative thoughts.

Not certain if i am an introvert, but a couple of these do apply to me. I am not a fan of team work, depends on who i am teamed with. As for over thinking, i have been accused of it and my response has been that only seems that way because so many think so little or at all. I am harder on myself than others, it is how i refine myself, how i become better. I cut off people on purpose, they show themselves to be a problem and it is a last resort mechanism for me, i have done it to family members and a couple former friends and i possibly will need to do it again in the future.

All the introverts should live together not talking to each other and still feel good enough...

For those who feel guilty about ghosting people, remember communication is a two-way street. If they aren't trying to contact you either, then they aren't making an effort either. If you want to reconnect with them though, just send them a message and they may respond. Someone just needs to make the first move.

The bottling up part. Is like tanking all damage until you save up for your super move. Except. Instead of winning. It hurts everyone. Including yourself.

Loving the avatar hints ❤ also I grew up hating group work because I was often paired with someone (s) who a) was mean to me or b) weren’t going to do the work anyway

I think introverts get tired of trying to be what others want them to be. This causes loss of identity and anxiety trying to please others. Sometimes we just have to lose friend's we needed losing for our own sanity.

Still another one: introverts panick before travelling, public speaking and exams. Sometimes even before going to a party they'd love to go to.

Thank you for this video. I have done all of the above.

No. 6 'Lost of identity' hits me so hard. I've spend such a long time pretending to be someone who is able to fit in a specific environment till i've lost touch of what i used to be in the past. And it makes me feel sad, because at times i just feel so lost at who i'm supposed to be. i don't even know who i am anymore.

Whats interesting is that many of these introvert traits are also trauma symptoms. I always though that any form of psychological trauma can turn someone into an introvert. Like bottling up emotions, cutting contact with people, and fear of conflict. These are ways some people cope with their traumas. Introversion can even be a coping mechanism.

I may not relate to most of these, but overthinking and bottling up emotions are certainly two things i do (Or used to, recently i haven't been doing those as much..... Fixing the first by keeping myself to occupied to overthink, and fixing the second by cutting ties to toxic people)

Thank you for this video I will try and use it in the future to improve my self ❤❤❤

The over thinking is the worst. I spend so much time thinking about things that happened and it drains me.

I'd add getting stuck in unhealthy routines such as self-isolating because your room may be less stressful than the outside world. Over time, this makes it hard to do what you used to be able to do, like a form of regression. It happens a lot to those of us who have severe social anxiety.

So many of these were straight on the head for me. I have noticed so many times before that I do tend to act in a way that feels like I am mimicing the "flow" of others. Sometimes people are more laid-back and I tend to mirror that, other times when someone has a work first attitude I can be very productive. Even when I am alone I can get sleepy or more lazy just feeding off myself.

This is the most accurate video I have ever seen!!! I identify to have 6 out of these 7 traits especially in the last 5 to 6 years. I need to get better, cannot be like this anymore

I mean, nine times out of ten, working in a team DOES lead to drama, conflict and arguments.

I find one of the worst things about being an introvert for me is that practically everything stays in my head, sometimes it's almost like I have a whole room of people in my head trying to make their situation heard, at any given time I probably have a song, a story, and whatever I'm doing and more all sitting in my head fighting for my attention, it can be pretty overwhelming at times which just leads me to sit and watch youtube videos all day as that is one of few times I don't have all that going on in my nogin

1. Yup. Teamwork sucks. 2. Sometimes I overthink, but not often. 3. I can be my worst critic, but that helps me improve. 4. You got me. I bottle up too much. 5. I like to think of myself as a realist. 6. Nope. I don't do that much. 7. You got me. I isolate way too much.

As an introvert, I can say that I am guilty of literally all the traits mentioned above except the First one (I feel that teamwork is necessary for success). The biggest mistake an average Extrovert commits is that they don't understand that we introverts are what we are, they call us boring and a failed friend, which makes us more and more anxious and subsequently more introverted.

The pain when you're such a good listener but when it's your turn to speak, they come up with another story to tell about them and your story remains unsaid. Probably the reason I became like this. I just feel so left out and unnoticed. In my high school I had the most amazing friends who'd listen to me all the time and I had such a cheerful personality. But now in college, I've become a introvert and I stay silent most of the time.

I'm an introvert and i have a bad trait of overthinking things in my friendships and taking anything someone had said that was a little strange as toxicity, manipulation etc. So i become just confused, stressed and i just can't calm myself down and stop myself from thinking that. Cause i fear that calming down and treating it as nothing is exactly what they want so they can manipulate me. When they have no intention of doing so. It just drives me crazy and i sometimes think "Why do i think they're good friends if my brain tells me otherwise?" Thank you Psych2go now i know why these thoughts might happen.

I relate to every single aspect mentioned in the video. In truth this is exactly how I am. The biggest problem I have is the inability to voice out exactly what I'm going through instead I tend to mix up words, say unintentional things and just mess up the whole conversation. It feels kind of like there's a voice inside of me that's screaming for help, but it gets chocked up right in the middle of my throat. My throat even hurts sometimes due to this.

"Everything comes with a dark side. Even the brightest light" -Min Yoongi, BTS

I actually enjoy teamwork, as long as there's someone leading

I find your voice very comforting :*

I've learned not to let my feelings get bottled up. It almost always leads to an even bigger problem. Nowadays, when it doesn't come with huge risk, I confront the party I am having a problem with almost immediately. I get on the phone or knock on their door to tell them how I feel so that we can move forward from there. It isn't pleasant at all, but will lead to improvement and for me often leads to a much more relaxed feeling.

The music... it feels lonely... but adding with her voice that says "I'll be with you" is so perfect.

I hate overthinking, but it happens to me a lot

Iv been listening to ur videos so much lately and it think I’m seeing things in ppl and myself since iv started to listen to them on a regular and some of ur videos make me wanna cry, no idea why.

As I see myself (so take my comment as you will), I can agree with #s 2-6. I definitely tend to do and/or experience them quite a bit. As for #1, I am not opposed to teamwork. My only issue is my ideas/suggestions tend to be ignored or just shot down. Hell, there have been times when people have gas lighted me, only to tell me later that they went with a different approach. As for #7, I don't ghost people. Any time I cut contact with someone it's because they have ghosted me. In many of these situations I send them a polite, final message thanking them for their time, and say my goodbyes. If it's a failed relationship, I sometimes mention that I am disappointed that we weren't able to have something more. In any case, I sincerely wish the people involved good luck in their lives and with their future relationships. Basically, this is done so I at least have closure (definitively, since there are some relationships that I never got it).

"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."

All of this are actually me, I wasn't this kind of person back then, but as I grow older and more mature. I started to avoid people and stuff. I like being alone most of the time and spend some time daydreaming and stuff. My parents thought that I'm always on my phone but no, I do some other stuff too like drawing and writing on my journal. Sometimes people just don't understand what it feels like so I decided to stay quiet and focus more to myself.

I'm pretty much guilty of all of these except ghosting. I only ever pushed one person away as I let her in too close too soon and it spooked me. But most of the time, I'll lead up to the saying goodbye.

Thank you, I love learning, and I'm ignorant of myself, so these videos help me immensely

I can relate to the pessimism aspect the most. I feel like extroverts see things as a chance to succeed whereas introverts tend to see it a chance to fail or embarass themselves.

The one about losing yourself makes so much sense to me, I feel like a completely different person around my friends because I try so hard to make sure everyone’s doing okay and that everyone even likes me. I’ve thought recently about how I could literally be anyone I want to be and how my own personality is just a lost default.

Here the some ideas about could add on the video on overcoming emotions trauma. First brief definition of words and explain that there people having problems showings their emotions and brief show how person change when they once was and current (like different person) Some suggestions would adds the video - Have someone to talk about - Workout - Join Activities - Make Friend - Create mini goal and tasks -Self accepted

You have such a soothing voice!

As an introvert myself, I can say that much of this is true. But many people misunderstand us. We're not insensitive or indifferent or uncaring or uncooperative, we just function differently and don't always know how to convey our thoughts and emotions or know how to express ourselves. Bottles emotions are one of our biggest problems, because we don't really know how to let them out, which is why we come across as indifferent, or when our emotions finally reach a capping point and come out, they seem extreme, because it's everything coming out at once. And yes, we're very empathetic towards others and can at times feels what they're feeling, which can be overwhelming for us, especially since we're already struggling with our own emotions. We may not sow it, but there's a LOT going on beneath the surface.

I'm guilty of all of these traits. ESPECIALLY the cutting off contact one... I left my friends without any explanations. I know I have to at least check up on them but I really don't feel the need to; I don't know if it's laziness but everytime I "say" I'm going to do it I don't. I really enjoy being by myself but I also fall in a deep rabbit hole of loneliness. It was my choice to stop speaking to them and I will admit that I feel better this way . Though another part of me wants at least someone I can call a "friend" yet I don't know how to keep them. I really do not know what I want. Anyways bye .

I agree not all introverts deal with things the same so I say this from my own perspective. I use to worry that I was pessimistic but life has taught me I’m a realist. The reality is narcissists & extroverts with narcissistic tendencies are in the majority. It’s better to confront the world with this mindset bc I can prepare myself beforehand. Takes deep breath, exhales, says to self “lower your expectations”, goes into store .. smile on my face with an attitude ready to de escalate typical nonsensical aggression.

I soooo hate overthinking, but can't just get over with. It's like naturally comes to me. For me overthinking is not a gift, but a curse 😢.

THEY USED AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER AHHHHH YESSSS I LOVE THIS CHANNEL

This is one of my favorite comment sections, seeing so many people who I can relate to makes this feel like I’m walking in a room of long lost relatives.

I was treated wrongly because I was a Introvert, but I ended up working out and doing combat, which made me mentally tougher. I ghosted many of my friends so I constantly switch my friends, and never hang with the same people. The #1 technique if somebody is bullying you (especially a extrovert), is to overwhelm them and intimidate them one on one without hanging with their friends. Extroverts get their energy and confidence from their friend group, so without them they don't know how to deal with being alone, so you have the advantage to overwhelm them because they are losing energy while you gain more energy because it is one on one

The most irritating thing abt being an introvert is when they ask"why R u silent "?? And sometimes I feel why I am an introvert???

I notice a lot more of these signs in myself than I would like to admit..