Hey Guys, I know that there is music that is too loud at some points. This is an audio error that I didn't realize happened until after I posted. I have fixed the issue in all of my videos since.
You learn as you go, and I've found that the volume I hear a video at when making it is not always the volume (or quality) that I hear once uploaded. Glad I found your channel!
I always thought pictures of dead children were strange, until I suffered a miscarriage. Getting a copy of my little one's ultrasound photo meant everything to me, and I will keep it always.
My Grandparents grew up in the end of the Victorian influenced era,my Grandmother had very Victorian ideas. Everyone wear black at funerals, widow wears hat with dark veil at funeral, widow wears black for a year then grey in second year then pale pastel in third year...no fancy jewlary or parties of gatherings....other than family visits, for 3 years.A woman who's husband is away working and not home is called s grass widow,is to behave sedatly,respectfull,and wear pastals no bright colours....there were many rules and regulations of behavour in the Victorian era otherwise you were looked down on ,as my Grandmother said.
One common mourning note for UK men up to the 1950's was wearing a black arm band on jacket sleeves. Victorian women had mourning brooches and lockets made from black Jet which mainly came from Whitby in the north-east - now very collectable...
One of the few exceptions to wearing mourning for a widow happened if a child wed after their mourning was up but Mom's wasn't. Wearing black to a big wedding was unthinkable. Skipping it was out of the question, as the only surviving parent. So for the wedding and reception the widow wore garnet. BTW, these are the British rules, usually followed by Americans. The French rules had mourning about half the length of time.
As a very young widow with a full time job and child to raise, following such strict rules would be difficult. I wear his ring daily though along with a necklace with some of his cremains.
Yeah, my husband was murdered when I was 27, I buried him on his 28th birthday. Our boys were 4 and 6 at the time and school started 10 days later. I can't imagine having to have followed all these rules. I mean, the clothing and mourning jewelery would have been fine, I wish I'd had cremains foe that, bc he wanted to be cremated, but his parents said they wouldn't help with his funeral/burial if I conformed to his wishes and I'd not have been able to pay for a funeral or viewing at all since I'd been a full time wife and mother for six years and had no income.
It is so different being a young widow. I'm sorry you had to conform to the wishes of your inlaws. Hopefully you are in a better situation now.@@jessicahay9305
I was widowed in the early '00s when I was in my mid forties. I did wear primarily black for nearly a year. It's custom in my family to wear the deceased partner's wedding ring and I just took it (and my own ring) off at the start of covid when all the hand sanitizer and hand washing made the skin on my hands break out in a a rash. I can really relate to the "half mourning for the rest of your life" thing.
@@NutsItsBerserkinTime Thank you for your condolences. I wore it on my thumb, because W had large hands, too. But my dad had slim fingers and my mom was able to wear his ring on her pointer finger and my uncle wore my aunt's as a pinky ring.
I'm glad I came across this video. I'm reading a book set during the victorian period with a mourning widow, and it slightly touched the subject of clothing/visits. Thank you!
@@agbobier2657 True. Hindu women were expected to set themselves on fire when their husband died. It was a practice that the British put a stop to when they ran India.
Yes that was terrible, but later on it was stoped and widows that did not throw themselves on the funeral pyer of their dead husband now , had to be ostracized outside the village or town to become a nun in a special widows building ,not alowed to talk to people outside the widows onclave building .it still EXISTS today in some parts of India it is said..
These are the rules laid out for Scarlett in Gone With the Wind although she became a widow (first time) about three months before Queen Victoria. Horrific, sexist, and wasteful. Great vid!
There are a lot of accepted myths and from analysing geneological data for the average person the mourning period was one year. If you were lower down the socio-economic index a six month average is nearer the norm. The average agricultural labourer, or wife of the same, who had children needed income and support and that support was through marriage. Before the Union Workhouses the support would be through tithes and the like and those with money liked paying taxes as much as they do now. Anyone 'going on the parish' would be expected to work even if it was filling a few holes in the local roads. Anyone aiming to go on the parish who was not from the parish would either be transported back to their birth parish or if they could not be divided from their family then their parish would be expected to send the money. There were some advantages for either sex to mary an older person especially if they were very old and had some money as the remaining spouse could make a better marriage. A surprising number of children from a first marriage would be distributed around the family upon the second marriage.
I honestly wonder if Margaret Mitchell did her research properly. From what I know, mourning customs were less formalized until after Queen Victoria died. I'm not sure that these long periods of mourning and strict rules for behavior were established, and had made their way to North America, only three months after Queen Victoria died. I could be wrong, but I do remember reading in some ladies' etiquette book written around the time the Civil War started that different people chose to mourn for different periods, and that therefore the author would only comment on proper dress for that period but would not lay down more specific rules for things like periods of mourning. So maybe Mitchell's descrption of the mourning expected of Scarlett is a bit anachronistic?
Totally ignored by the auther shows that no came of your remark. I will tell you tube not to recommend the channel as you all should do when ignorance is chosen
@@MV-fh5tm video did exactly what the guy described so I know what I heard 18 hours ago so the addressment was not really and address. Sorry mate but why co ment and disbelieve what I said when I said it. I did not say it for a laugh. But anyway you are wrong so you look daft, sorry
From a Jewish perspective, this is utterly bizarre. We mourn spouses for two months, after which we can consider finding a new partner. Meanwhile, we mourn parents for 11 months. It gets complicated, and it's worth studying if you can!
@@SuzetteKath Two months, after which we can pursue a new partner. It's not meant to reduce the importance of the lost partner, but to aid the survivor. Not everyone moves on that quickly, of course, and some people remain alone, but it's not necessarily seen as ideal. Keep in mind that Jews aren't a monolith, and different groups, as well as individuals, have their own attitudes and needs. As far as we're concerned, debate and questioning are ways of life.
@@SewardWriter Why I asked. Is that I found out a few years that a major part of my ancestry is Jewish. It was me being curious about how my distant cousins do things.
Would love to see similar videos done on this subject in a variety of cultures and time periods. At least two months is practical, balancing the need to mourn while acknowledging that they shouldn't be bound by it for "decorum" or a stupid length of time if they need to marry again for practical reasons or are ready to move on.
She's hardly the only one to never marry again. Her position would limit her available dating pool, many of whom would be more interested in power and wealth than in her. And she really loved and missed him. There is no one correct way for everyone.
I wonder how many of those widows were actually as lonely as they seemed... That's a year of not having to worry about someone accidentally walking in on you.
Very informative ,thankyou.I have quite a few mourning outfits in my collection,my favourite being a c1916 dress,charming in its simplicity and for me much nicer than some of my Victorian dresses.
Mourning fashion is just beautiful. It's how I choose to dress even though I'm not a widow. I think it's sad that they were forced through social pressures and superstition. And I think a woman in all black and a black veil will always be the most beautiful throughout the ages but I might be biased 😅
You’re living your own to for now you don’t understand. There’s all the rape and death here nowz Oh and die you women who think you have good me, the reason most women get sick is because of men, then draining the very life force from you either through overwork or through silent sucking of your inner light.
Having a ritual for mourning can be very helpful. When I was young, I worked in a department store.one day,I was helping an elderly woman who was very sweet. After she chose her item, as I was wrapping it, she confided that her husband had die a week ago. Although, I had been helpful, if I had known she was a recent widow, I would have approached the task differently. I had wished she had worn black. (This was before black was worn by everyone, all the time.) That custom of wearing black, was a signal to allow people to be especially gentle to the bereaved.
I wish people Knew if they own their own property or had their deed to their own land but they could Bury any family member without paying any cost for a burial
Wow, this was the most interesting video I’ve seen in a loooong time!! I can’t imagine snuggling up with a smelly dead body just to get the perfect pic!!
Queen PickMe. That's all she was. Born because of the right circumstance because of the domino effects of Princess Charlotte Augusta and her infant dying, and boom, because she was the surviving child of one of King William IV's brothers, she's the queen. When I was 15, the fact she didn't believe lesbians were really a thing, but believed gay men were was... *odd* to me, to say the least. But then I found out more about her as an adult, especially how she treated her daughters and her daughters in laws.... and then how she really just adored her sons and practically worshiped and shrined Prince Albert, and desperately clung to every male figure in her life for attention, shunned almost all women, and that's typical, class-A, sore thumb PickMe behavior to the bone. Once I found out she had no interest in social issues and would today be regarded as almost comically conservative, and especially her being that level of anti-feminist... not a fan. In the slightest. Now I know why I definitely prefer Queen Elizabeth I. Not perfect, but MILES better. xD To me, Victoria's just a big ol' Pick Me. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't care about her status.
“These results can be incredibly disturbing” on post-Morten photos. Don’t be so insulting, as these photos are taken in your area nearly every day….of babies who died before or at birth, sadly can even happen during full-term labors where everything looked fine previously. Now the only way many parents can ever have a pic of their baby is….if it is taken after the baby had died. It is a very personal choice, but many do want a pic of their much loved babies who did nothing wrong.
Even today , the Jewish religion observes " shiva " - a mourning period which includes covering mirrors - not out of superstition , but so a person will not be concerned w/ superficial appearances for the time being .
I always hated this mourning tradition crap. Even if you didn't like the bastard, absolutely hated his guts, you were still expected to put on some sad face or show like you were so sad he was gone. On the flip side, men weren't expected to go through this. I mean, some did, but it wasn't expected. The marriage bed wouldn't even be cold, and they'd be out on the prowl again, especially if they had children who needed a mother. XD Sometimes they'd expect whole families, villages, and even countries to put on the dumb, fake fanfare for their dear leader, when you knew deep down the recently departed one got a lot of piss/$hit on their grave in the night. It's like the husband insured he could even control you in some way beyond the grave and society had his back. Frick that crap. If I have to MAKE people put on a play to pretend to be sad I am gone, I'd find that so insulting, but hey, control-freaks are just built differently.
Good vid but research the photography a bit more. People were never upright or definitely not standing in a death photo. The photos took like 30 secs to expose so often kids closed their eyes or babies were asleep. If stands were seen by the feet people weren't dead they were just used to keep absolutely still for 30 secs. A dead body can't be held up perfectly upright with a little metal stand...... death photos also had "rules"
I'm glad you enjoyed the video. Thanks for the feedback, you obviously know a lot about photography. I am by no means an expert or historian, I'm just doing the best research I can with sources available to me, but I'll keep that in mind for the future 👍
Of course people still mourn loved ones, they just aren't held by weird standards on what that entailed such as isolation from everyone and being forced to wear certain clothes. Did you even watch the video?
I'm quite surprised to hear that women in mourning black were considered attractive. Somehow, I thought it was the contrary. Is there more background information to this?
Thissuper fantastic vid just popped up 🎉 I feel Victorian customs ate very much like ours altho Im not sure how much is Islamic/cultural. 2:30 the mirror, eyes, head, isolation etc similar i ❤the dressses!!!!
What do men ever have to adhere to? They can evade accountability and society will still accommodate them. Why do you think prisons exist? A man could avoid any and all legal and moral responsibility and still get let out in a few years for committing the most deplorable acts.
Yes. They died more often. Things we don't even think about could kill you. A bad cut could kill you. Childbirth killed a lot of women, sometimes the baby too. A broken arm could kill you. Infected wounds didn't have antibiotics so you're dead. Thus, people died more often.
@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365 I agree that more incidents were lethal in the nineteenth century for a range of reasons, but I meant to imply by my question that individual people only die once and not any more often than once.
@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365 It was also because they used dangerous toxic chemicals in their clothes or anything really. And Ouji boards. Who knows what demon they summoned and caused them curses and bad luck!
@@Featheryfaith7 um... no. Scheel's green was hardly a color ANY widow would have worn. And Ouija boards are a board game. The Victorian's loved to contact dead relatives. Weren't even associated with demons until the mid 1910s. And that was only when one single woman, who was a charlatan, decided to SAY she'd summoned someone evil. And wrote a book about it. Which was a work of fiction. Women died in childbirth, the infant mortality rate was thru the roof, health and safety didn't exist, things blew up. Very simple to explain and nothing supernatural about it.
@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365 Not true. Michiganders summon demons using ouji boards. That was how Holly Hotel in MT Holly was burned recently. They had to ban the seances there. When women were married and single they wore green a lot. Harmful chemicals killed so many people. Well, miscarriages happen a lot throughput history due to not knowing better medical practices.
