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make sure it doesnt land or hit anything sharp to make sure you get your money's worth out of every punt for as long as possible. care for your cobbler-plush, love your cobbler-Plush, and on the holiday of content, PUNT THAT MOTHERFUCKER ACROSS THE HOUSE AND INTO A WALL!
I like how he has an anxiety attack at the realization that the crackdown is only going to get worse, to the point that he won't be able to control them anymore.
@@bitcoinzoomer9994 Yeah man, like the gov exchanging a basketball player for the fliping Merchant of Death is just something I would expect from south park, yet it actually happened,
@@heronekkotheanimer7386 They didn't have a choice for who to save, sometimes it seems it would sound better if the exchange were refused. Que all the jokes about how it sounds like a really one-sided card trade.
To think that ff only Harambe would've survived that fateful day we would live in a based Utopia (like the one in the book with slaves and shit, not the sissy commie one)
At this point, I have been using Twitter for one thing and one thing only: to watch sfw and (mostly) nsfw art. That's it. The busty sexy anime women drawn by extremely talented artists and the equally sexy gay furry porn drawn by also extremely talented artists, is the sole reason I ever open that app anymore.
@@DJPeachCobbler Your capitalistic greed has robbed me of my well deserved clout. Unsubbed, I can't believe you could have done this to a loyal subscriber of yours. RU-vidr DJPeachCobbler has fallen from grace, so sad.
I mean, this is usual procedure for companies. Every time you got caught into some serious scandal like s3xual assault or slavery, just annouce one of your characters is queer to distract people. Blizzard in particular been doing that ALOT.
Famous businessman and loser of wives Elon Musk has published a tweet stating thoughts on famous uberterrorist, Derkeeth Johnson Cobbler: "This platform is a cave that necessitates quality control." Musk states, taking a swig from his 'papa likey' mug with a picture of the chaos emeralds on it: "And between you and me, if there was a slur for this guy? I mean, this guy in particular? For this VERY exact guy, on the same level as a slur? I swear, the goddamn walls would echo with it so profoundly that it'd cave itself in, I'll tell you what."
I have good news for you if you want to be optimistic I suppose. From what I heard the earth in star trek went full mad max before finally becoming the space federation it turned into.
CNN is sponsored by Pfizer meanwhile my man here speaking based truths and being backed by soap lol Cool for him, but I don't take showers anymore. Wet naps will suffice and wont turn me into a non-binary frog.
The 90 year security guard doesnt want you to know this but, you don't need to show them your receipt at Walmart. You can just walk out of the building.
@@DJPeachCobbler Apparently the founding fathers wrote an amendment that gives everyone the right to bear a coupon that makes everything free. Unless you're in a red state then you just get capped by an American patriot.
@@chief_sus I used to watch him but far as I remember he's just advocating for cities to be, well, walkable and not require cars because they're expensive and unsustainable
@@andrazprelec8263 How can americans call an objectivelly good idea a "rabbit hole". Sometimes it just seems to me that this whole country has been degenerating into an inescapable hellhole for years. And my country is already pretty bad.
I don't know if it is the dozens of side effects of the multiple antipsychotics I take on a daily basis but the Peach Man is looking quite buff, keet it up brother.
5:42 was so interesting that I wrote a strange short story out of it. It embodies, and I quote, "manic hopelessness," which fits with the theme pretty well. Here you go: And before me, it was a being made solely of darkness. It radiated an energy that could only be described as manic hopelessness. For it was the Unbearable Abyss, a being of pure, celestial malevolence. It said: “You cannot have the stars. Given the power of gods, you would take them out of the sky and sell a subscription service to gaze upon them.” I began to try and think of a statement to disprove this, but in response to my very thoughts, it said: “Fool. Your kind rant about the imaginary lovers of a ghost, made by machines to enlarge numbers that have been meaningless for far too long. You want the passage of the stars in order to escape your tomb, to survive the repercussions of the egregious mistakes you have made. Humankind has been divided since the beginning of civilization, the less fortunate versus the infinitely lucky with no moral compass to act as their guide, brought into power from tests by the deities you worship and betray in the same breath. Reap the rewards of your greed, let the rivers of consequence you dammed up with cheap twigs finally burst through, and drown you in your own mistakes. Let the problems you left for the future suffocate you with a passion akin to the characters in the literature you made to warn yourselves about them. Conscious choice brought death upon you, not with an unexpected bang, but with a whimper that grew into a roar because of your own actions. You put every nail in your own coffin, and yet all you thought while doing so was that selling the materials in which it was made would turn a fine profit, even with the ones who have lived with the consequences of your decisions for their whole lives putting all the passion they can muster into trying to dissuade you.” And to this, I said: “It will get worse.”
God damn, nothing in this world makes me as filled with happiness and optimism and a general sense of well being than "It's going to get worse" at the end of the crackdowns
There is comfort in consistency, and so I rest easy knowing that no matter how bad things are how how bad it looks like it will get; its always going to get worse
Aw shucks, I forgot that a Cobbler Crackdown was coming today! Should’ve prepared the bunker as soon as I saw that announcement. After all, it will get worse!
Thank you man I needed a good laugh! Seriously, you're really hitting your stride dude. Life isn't always pleasant but every once in awhile you get a good break. Keep your head up man and thanks again!
I love Unbereable Abyss, he always says something witty and funny like "You are blinded by comfort" or "The old world is dying' truly the spirit of this studio
I love at 5:12 how "and I'm scared to suggest otherwise" could be referring to "they will absolutely fix the problem" or to "these women control the media some fuckin how" and the joke works either way. Nicely done.
I seriously love how much effort you put into the sponsor segments, they never feel forced into the video and are genuinely funny. I also think they work better than for most RU-vidrs who have a boring and annoying talk about the product. I actually get kinda interested in your sponsors, compared to the annoyance I feel from others sponsors. Keep making money when you can Cobbler, you deserve it! Hope you’re well!
8:50 Thanks for giving r/noncredibledefense a shout-out, Cobbler! I can sleep much easier now that I know that my two favorite sources of comedy-horror have finally intersected.
Nice to know I am apart of the 2.9% of people between the age of 13 to 17, that watch your content. I can now feel special knowing I am in fact, a "Stinky Little Dirt Boy".
Hell yes, about time we got more from the man in our walls, Unbearable Abyss! Oh, and the rest of the team on the Cobbler Crackdown I guess. Also, wasn't the background music during his section from Signalis?
Hmm. This is the first time I digged into the outro music. Have you mixed it yourself? It's pretty good. It elevates your mood to happy or sad, depending on which you had when you started. Very cool
Twitter is that one app where you would say I enjoy games like poppy playtime five nights at Freddy’s and doom and people would get triggered for no reason
I am just waiting for the Cobbler Crackdown when it is announced famous youtube twitter rapper DJ Peach Cobbler has OD on Chalk and now has to do all his episodes in interpretive dance.
Every fucking episode the closing statement is the same: Its gonna get worse. Yet somehow every episode it gest slightly less funny and slightly more disturbing and real and it scares me. Pls Daddy Cobbler hold me I'm scared.
11:43 you know you don't have to let them check your receipt right? When they ask to check, say "do you think I've stolen something?" If they say no then just say "thanks" and leave. If they say yes tell them to call the cops. They have no legal obligation to your receipt.
My local rich white mom across the street from me literally has one of those exact same WORD FOR WORD "fucking signs" in front of their front door. I did not expect that 2 second joke to hit that hard.
Amazing I got the DJ peach cobbler plush that now has new managers that will not be caught for sexual assault in the workplace and now I get a new video of the best news source “Cobbler Crackdown” truly a day the will go down in history
