I regret every moment of my life that led me here. Patreon: / jamestullos Twitter: / fortullos My other channel: / ghostbuster274 Donate: paypal.me/JamesCTullos?locale... goodreads: / james-tullos
(This started as a typo, but "Pferd" is the German word for "horse", so I kept it, but I also have to explain the pun, because not everybody here speaks German.)
Super "pure" blood always reads like incest to me. You've got the purest blood because your mother was your aunt and also your cousin. Just picture Tristan as one of the Habsburgs with all his "well endowed" blood and it all makes more sense.
whenever i hear abt "pure" blood etc. i just remember that the most coveted (for donation) known blood type, rh null, is probably a result of incest. and theres a single digit number of donors in the world bc it also comes hand-in-hand with hemophilia. but logically i know ppl dont know that much abt blood typing and pure blood bs just a way of discouraging race and class mixing.
Is this author aware that he can just, like, write actual erotica if he wants to include porn scenarios so badly? That "evil plan" has to be the plot of a hentai already.
My husband picked up a 'historical fiction' book that was 50% sex scenes. Authors being in denial about the fact that they write porn seems to happen a lot.
@@PassTheMarmalade1957 random tangent but I hate how 90% of the historical genre is just historical romance. Nothing against people who enjoy it, I’m just personally into historical fiction for military weaponry wank rather than actual wank
@@Aurelian369_ As someone into fantasy, a genre which has skewed somewhat heavily towards either teenage love-triangles or titty-gore, I totally get it.
There is so many manga Arthur that I just wanna say the same thing. Just write porn god demmet I know you want to. And for some of you(couch couch rent a shit friend Arthur) will make batter content that's way
Tristan has amnesia and keeps forgetting what women look like, so everytime he sees one he goes "Wow, that is THE most BEAUTIFUL woman I have ever seen!!!" referring to the fact he hasn't seen any according to his memories
'paragon' means 'receipt' in polish so i think of the necklace as a piece of flimsy paper on a string and it makes me exhale through my nose in amusement
At 30:19 exactly, after he said "imagine if this video finished mid-sentence" my internet connection started acting up and the video stopped. I legit thought it was a gag he edited in but nope, literally just a perfect coincidence.
Tristan: -sees a woman- "She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Also every time you said the name Succu I took damage. It sounds bad, the implication is stupid. I hate it so so much.
To be fair to Nerissa, main character dude is probably the first person to show her any significant amount of kindness so deciding she's in love with him isn't necessarily because he's the protagonist... but based on the rest of this book it totally is. Inb4 Nerissa becomes a yandere and sexually assaults Tristan but he's into it so it "doesn't count."
Listen, I hear you, HOWEVER recently prince Charles just became king at 73 and still can't write his name without making a mess and can't pick up a piece of paper that fell to the ground. Prince protagonist is 30 and I can ABSOLUTELY accept he has the mental maturity of a 15 year old.
I remember seeing a video of him needing to sign something and there was stuff on the table, and he just started wildly flailing until someone cleared up the table for him. Like he couldn't comprehend the idea of pushing some stuff aside or picking some things up and putting them down elsewhere. We let this man sign laws.
@@DMurphysLore "We let this man sign laws" and? He doesn't make them, he's there to look pretty and represent tradition. The UK is a republic in all but name.
He sounds just like the type of person whose nuanced wisdom would serve well in a position of power, setting laws about GSR minorities and women's reproductive health! Just kidding he's already there.
@@Aurelian369_ lots of modern anime avoids that shit, but I agree with you I need to know going in how bad the horrible sex jokes are gonna be in an anime before I dive in
@@turcanudan9386 Except it doesn't matter what type and genre. There's a good chance there's still gonna be weird sex stuff. Stop beinging up strawman fallacies.
This would have been way more interesting if the fifth sorceress planned to seduce Tristan into becoming his wife and birthing him an heir and controlling him and their son from behind the scenes and slowly corrupting them. You know, doing the long con. But then she eventually falls in love with him for real and reforms only for the other sorceresses to return and her secret to come out and lots of drama and shit. That writes itself!!
This story is a mess, but there are some interesting ideas here. A school of magic that acts as an oath to a moral code is ripe with opportunities for stories about corruption, redemption, and loopholes in the system. The prince being known for throwing knives could be a marker of his status as a rogue-ish figure trying to escape the stifling life of a kingdom so obsessed with righteousness and honor.
If this prince didn't want to be a king that much, he should have worked on producing an heir as early as possible so that he could give his throne off before he was 60. What was he doing for all those years?
15 days is a unit of measurement when it comes to sailing in this series because the world building isn’t deep enough to have wind, current, weather, or multiple ship types.
1:03:50 Knowing that magical creatures are being sent to kill them, they rescue a woman and bring her with them. Thereby putting her in more danger than she was previously in.
At your comment on how there seems to be no form of government besides the king, no nobles, soldiers, judges, mayors, or church, I immediately thought of a nosy knitting circle becoming apocalyptic warlords because they're the closest thing to an authority the village has. Fear her elderly majesty, Immortan Pearl!
I feel like Newcomb heard that “only women can do magic” in the Wheel Of Time and was like, “OH YEAH. WELL WATCH THIS.” Then wrote what he saw as the opposite. Because women having power clearly upsets him. I like the part where you said they fight giant spiders in a “forbidden forest.” Same as in The Hobbit. And I pretty sure Tristan realizing his endowment and then it causing an explosion that kills the Sorceresses is an allegory for Tristan ejaculating. Also, was the Sorceress’ plan to repopulate the world part of their original plan before the banishment? Or did they come up with it during those 300 years?
@@franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596 It’s like comparing The Room to Suicide Squad. One is hilariously bad, but made by people who had no business being behind or in front of a camera, and the result is comedy of errors. The other is a mess made by supposed professionals in the field, and tons of talented actors barely bringing their C-game to a forgettable superhero movie. Both are train wrecks, but of considerably different size, scale, and enjoyment value for how god-awful they are.
To be fair, Eye of Argon was written by a first-time writer on a typewriter so correcting text was actually a really hard thing to do, plus it didn't go through any editors or proofreaders. And despite all that, Grignr is still a less annoying protagonist
1:00:00 A bird in the hand is of greater value than is that of two birds, that are not in the hand but are instead, in a bush, 'for the two birds in the bush might fly away before you can capture them, whereas the bird in the hand, has already been captured, so its value is greater, being that of an actual possession, rather than that of a potential possession that is considered so, mearly due to your knowledge of where it is. To consider yourself to be in possession of something, you must be able to control that thing or your concept of possession is meaningless.
I came across two copies this book at a “friends of the library” used book sale. It was the last day of the event and they were the only books left on the “fantasy” table
It's ironic that you said imagine what would happen if Luke didn't leave Tatooine for the first 2 hours of the film, because before the cuts and edits of his wife, Luke was supposed to spend like another 30-45 minutes on Tatooine lol. I guess Luke was supposed to be very indecisive and mope around and talk to his friends and stuff. I love Star Wars, but thank God for his wife since that pacing would have been real bad.
Wasn’t Obi wan supposed to be a frog-man in the original concept Lucas had? I remember a lot of people saying that the first Star Wars movie was saved in editing, because it condensed a bunch of bs that Lucas thought was essential that turned out to just mess with the pacing of the movie.
@@Titere05Idk if "not a very gifted writer" is a fair descriotion of Lucas. He's undeniably very creative, he just doesn't have any control over his imagination and needs to be held in check by strong-willed editors. God knows he's far from the only accomplished writer with such a condition
Wait. The reluctance of the prince who don't want to become a king sounds like a better conflict for this book, also it pretty out of the box; how many times in fantasy book you met prince who refuse his parents throne instead of fighting to death with his siblings just for regain the king/queen status. Sadly the author not thinking about this and choose to create offensive conflict between men and women
... please, PLEASE do a full deep dive on The Adventures of Ayn Rand Al Gore. I remember actually being into it as a kid and I'd love this mess to be unpacked.
Me too, sad that there is little content on him that is not from fans unlike Ayn Rand's original fiction, also i think he said Ayn Rand Al'Thor, ie pun on Rand Al'Thor of the Wheel Of Time, that Goodman had borrowed a lot from in at least the earlier books and Ayn Rand, ie a double meaning of the Sword Of Truth being indebted to the two Rands(i have heard from a reader that while the later books are not necessarily better, they were at least more original).
So, Tristan post mortem emergency C-sectioned his sister out of desperate hope to try and save her unborn child? Right? It was slightly touching when he realised there was nothing to be done and buried it with its mother? Right? All this didn't happen out of the blue with no apparent character motivation just to make the resurrection scene not weird and super gross? PLEASE??
Uh, this is only marginally better, but he emergency c-sectioned the lead sorceress (Succu?), not his sister, I think his sister just stopped being evil or something after the other sorceresses died.
It wasn’t his sister so I’d say that part isn’t strange, though cutting the clearly dead (she jumped from a tower) baby out for it’s own burial instead of just burying them together was a little weird to me.
Krimson Rogues response to the “not a part of the target audience” argument was to hold out Green Eggs and Ham and say “whoops! This wasn’t written for me, looks like I can’t have an opinion on it!” Bit exaggerative but it gets the point across.
After doing some research on why most of Europe took forever to find the America’s. I was confronted with the fact that people couldn’t deal with scurvy being at sea for so long. One of the only reasons Leif (please kill me if I’m misinformed) got to America was because he was able to get there was navigating by the coastlines of Greenland and among other things probably having an experienced crew. What the author is trying to get at here makes sense, but not from the perspective explanation maybe they should consult the Rime of the ancient mariner for descriptive horrors of sea travel gone wrong. Edit: Forgive my syntax errors, however I will not fix them.
Scurvy is one reason, then there is wind. Sailing means you have to use wind to move, between Europe and America wind usually blow toward Europe. Going by Coastlines gives you time to wait for the right winds while also giving you access to freshwater, but al the Islands up there are cold and of little Interest to most Sailers. The tradewinds are down by Africa, so Europeans hardly knew about them, since there was hardly anything Interesting down there for them. Even the Canary Islands can be reached without them. Wich is an important point in itself: There was nothing out there to sail to. Iceland was found when someone missed the Faroe Islands, Greenland was found when Iceland was missed. There were no known Islands out toward the East that could be missed, so noone accidently landed in the Americas. Even the Azores are far to close to Europe for anyone to sail past them long enough to reach America before realizing they shoot over.
I mean I don't know why the Europeans missed two huge continents, but not only is there tons of evidence that either several African kingdoms (including but not limited to ancient Egypt) had trade either directly or indirectly with the Inca empire, but there's some evidence of Chinese ships off the eastern coast of North America from hundreds or possibly thousands of years in the past.
@@cam4636 Ancient Egypt can't have encountered the Inca as the Inca didn't become an Empire until the 13th century AD. Did you mix them up with another culture?
@@cam4636 American Natives hail from Asia, so some Asians obviously found the Americas by following the frozen lands of the North, however, the Chinese specifically crossing the entire Pacific with nothing to aim for, reach the Americas, then return to tell the Tale is kind of a stretch. More likely some boats drifted there with the crew long gone on arrival. As for Africa, many Cultures on the westcoast were close enough to the Tradewinds to make it possible, but again, there is nothing to aim for. There was no reason to venture out that far to certain death, then randomly finding land and, being sad that they survived, traveling back home to tell others. Some Olmecan statues that maybe kinda sorta look like Africans is rather thin proof. And if anyone found the Americas they should have told someone about it. In the End, that is the reason Kolumbus is consider to have "found" them: He told others and they travelled there themselves.
Right as you said “here’s a better idea” at 16:00 I got an ad that was like “INTRODUCING DEL TACOS TORTAS” and honestly that was a better idea than anything in this story
Fantastic review of a book I've never heard of. My attention is also extremely grabbed by the concept of a 'Fake Married' romance or 'opposites attract' romance between a fantasy king who doesn't want to be king and the person he picks to be queen to do all his work or the person he picks to be PM to do all his work. It just sounds really cute and funny and I can't stop thinking about it now.
I'm choosing to believe that the "most beautiful woman he's ever seen" thing is Newcombe intentionally making Tristan an idiot who makes decisions with his lower brain.
The other thing is: having a character named Tristan and a character named Wiig just unintentionally makes me think of the actress Kristen Wiig, it turns out saying those back to back sounds too similar
Couldn't the sorceress be executed by a non-magic user, and if the weird protection expands to this still then it would be worth the cost of a wizard per sorceress trade off to ensure no more genocide
TBH, the main character being immature could be handwaved with the fact that he's a spoiled aristocrat, and also his dad, and possible further ancestors, are immortal so will hang around him for a long while, possibly to the point of being overprotective. It could also be that in this world every royal is not seen as a "true" adult until they get immortalized. Weather or not it's addressed like that in the book, or did the author even planned it like that, I do not know. Likely not, but you know, still an interesting tidbit in my opinion.
"just once i want to see a story where a king goes to some noble and says 'you're the prime minister now, you can have all the power and do all the work while i get drunk and party." my dude, thats the set up for Game of Thrones.
1:16:20 I'm listening to this while I'm playing the Splatfest on Splatoon 3 and that whole thing caught me so off guard that I ended up getting splatted. Hahaha!! Seriously what?
if Tristan's childishness is doing the opposite, I've seen it done well. namely in Dragon Builders where the hero of DQ1 gave the sword to the Dragonlord in the backstory because he never had a real choice in anything until that moment. up until then he was effectively being dragged along by the plot. this was done to mirror the player character in Builders whose decision to do the opposite what they're told was going to fight someone they were told time and again they coulld not match
This is gonna sound like a weird recommendation, but I’d actually love to see you review the wizard of Oz series. Even though they are childrens books, they are a lot different from modern children books and I definitely think are enjoyable today. There are like 20 books by Baum but none are too long, and I think they are great fantasy books
Bc it's his kink. Loosely stitching various porn scenarios together with a rickety, threadbare plot, and being burned by the reviews. I would almost bet money that there's a very special lady he pays to read those reviews to him with maximum contempt.
I think the Wizard no kill law is interesting, it is almost a mirror to modern morality. No killing unless for self protection or fair warning is necessary like a no trespassing sign, but every aspect of it is poorly executed. I think it could have been interesting.
15 days sounds like a Texas unit of measurement since we talk about traveling a distance by time. Such as Houston is 2 hours away from me, no idea of the miles. Though we also have things like speed limits so ours is much more accurate than the 15 days measurement.
This story had so much potential! A magic system based on morality? A monarchy that is actually ruled by a shadow court of immortal mages? A prince who does not want the throne? A sex based magic system where the men are seen as good and the women seen as evil? He could have easily written the sorceresses as procieved evil in a male-dominated society. Maybe the "great war" was actually them fighting for their rights, which is why the male wizards couldn't just kill them Tristan realizes that as king, he'd just be a pawn to to the mages, so he rebells against them, and Natasha uses this to get him on her side in fighting for the sorceresses' rights.
I had a copy of that book once. I say "had" because I was so enraged by just how fucking terrible it was that I put on angry metal music, fed it through the shredding machine and recycled it as nesting material for my pet rats.
Since Amazon recently premiered "The Rings Of Power", have you ever considered reading and reviewing _The Silmarillion_ and the _History of Middle-Earth_ books?
Sword of Truth is always going to hold a special place in my heart, as the first fantasy series I ever picked up, and thus, the fantasy series that taught me so, so many common fantasy tropes.
Oh man, off Tristan invented the practive of throwing knives? But-- that's not how things work... Such an odd choice. Some mystery person just tried to kill the Prince on the eve of his become King? Who could it be dun dun dun-- Oh wait it was his horse nevermind! Just makes me think Robert Nwcomb is sitting there giggling, I'm so random! I tricked all my readers there! Darn I've been watching too much House of the Dragon! When the prose was talking about all his romantic trists and then mentions his twin sister, 0_0 oh no, but then I was like oh okay that's just an fortunate spot to introduce her existance. Whew. Tristan bathes in the pool of the paragon and it actives his powers and horrifies his wizard advisor-- but it doesn't matter apparently. Wha-- why? Lolol I hear you James, quietly adding an addition to Succieu's name. I like that Geldin becomes more of a full character sympathetic motivations. His sort of character and situation would make an interesting protagonist. This!? This is your amazing villain plan!? Such face-palming to be had! Thank-you for covering this in depth James I've been curious, but knew I didn't want to read it. ^_^;; Hayley ^_^
