The Gendered Value of Sexual Experience 

I strongly disagree with most of what was implied regarding the importance of a women's body count in this discussion. It was 'stated' that as long as you aren't doing harm to yourself or others.... but the 'implication' was that there is little to no damage if both parties are consenting. This couldn't be farther from the truth. -- Physiological Fact: Casual sex leads to a decrease in neurochemical production and interferes with further pair bonding. Repeated sexual encounters with multiple partners, neutralize the brain. A Girls ability to "pair-bond" is physiologically much more effected (than a mans) as a result of having too many partners (some studies say over 3, some say over 6). Through Nature's Sexual Programming men do not Bond 'nearly as much' emotionally as women do through the act of sex. Psychological/Emotional Differences between men and women of the impact of sex on their psyche and ability to Pair Bond are Vast. -- Furthermore, our society is traditionally structured so that men are the gatekeepers to commitment (resources) and women are the gatekeepers to sex. If a society does not have a healthy dose of Slut Shaming for women who casually sleep around then you will see further degradation of the family unit..... and God knows the Philippines is already struggling with overpopulation and Single Mother Teen pregnancy. -- For reference: Why don't you take a quick look at how the lack of Slut Shaming and Western Women's attitudes toward casual sex is working out for the dating game in the West.... the dating Apps only play Half of the role, the women allow the access. I have lots more I would like to say on this matter but I don't want to sow too much discord. I respect all of you ladies, but on this matter we definitely disagree. Peace, Love, and Respect B Goat

Great video and a really great topic. I do not think I have ever heard the women side. Thank you.

Looks like the Filipina outlook on life, partners and relationships is changing, while still maintaining their values. Bravo.

I could fill your comments with my opinions but won't. Brave topic and thank you for the candid conversation

Shay....I would like to applaud you and your friends for taking on a difficult topic. Of course this is an injustice and a sad and unfortunate reality. Another unfortunate reality is that it won't end soon - maybe not for decades or more. I also want applaud all 4 of you for fighting through the stigma attached and doing what you know is right as difficult as it may have been at times. You need'nt worry too much what society thinks as long as you know in your heart, you did what is right. In case I forget to mention it or don't post for awhile, Leah said the 4 of you have a trip planned in Oct. I wish the best of weather and fun in and on the water; and last but not least, plenty of laughs and memories to recall.

Their points of view are very respectable. The past is the past. Focus on the present and the future.

Hello beautiful Shay I love your videos. Your content is very good. I love the way you speak so eloquent and so precise. I look forward to watching more of your videos.

Let us first acknowledge that this discussion is occurring exclusively among women. It is, therefore, unsurprising that they share a similar perspective on the matter. Social science literature indicates that men tend to lose interest in women with a high number of sexual partners, whereas women generally exhibit greater flexibility on this issue. Studies have shown that men often view women with more sexual partners less favorably when considering them for long-term relationships, a phenomenon supported by research in evolutionary psychology (Buss & Schmitt, 1993) . There is something critical to understand here. Tradition is not merely an arbitrary set of customs; it is the product of millions of years of trial and error, success and failure, progress and retreat-in short, evolution. Tradition is the distilled essence of practices that have consistently produced the best outcomes for the greatest number of people. While some civilizations have, albeit rarely, retained retrograde or even harmful practices or beliefs, we find certain behaviors that are nearly universal across most civilizations worldwide. Among these, the limitation of sexual partners-and even premarital virginity-is almost a constant. There are several reasons for this. From a health perspective, research shows that an increased number of sexual partners correlates with a higher risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), individuals with multiple sexual partners are at significantly higher risk for STIs, including HIV . Furthermore, there is a well-documented correlation between a high number of sexual partners and an increased risk of cervical cancer. A study published in The Lancet found that the risk of cervical cancer is directly related to the number of sexual partners, due to the higher likelihood of contracting human papillomavirus (HPV), which is a leading cause of cervical cancer (Munoz et al., 2003) . Socially, virginity served as the only reliable guarantee that a husband was indeed the father of his wife's child. This concern is rooted in what evolutionary biologists refer to as "paternity certainty," which has been a critical factor in the development of social structures across cultures (Wilson & Daly, 1997) . On the genetic front, research tells us that throughout human history, approximately 80% of women have reproduced with only 20% of men-a pattern that remains observable today. This genetic data, which is supported by studies on human reproductive behavior, suggests that across epochs, women have chosen to reproduce with a small percentage of men who possessed significant attractiveness, social standing, or financial resources (Betzig, 1986) . Consequently, women have historically shared these desirable men with other women. Given that women, by their choices, control access to sex, it is evident that the idea of a man sharing himself among multiple women has not traditionally been a deterrent for women. Thus, we observe an alignment between traditional perceptions and the social and biological realities of our species. Over the past fifty years, however, we have witnessed a decline in traditional values, much as we have seen similar regressions in the past. Notably, this erosion of values often precedes the decline of a civilization. As societal morals loosen, nations grow weaker, and governing powers decline. This decline is followed by either the fall or transformation of a civilization, which is then replaced by a stronger, more stable society that once again upholds traditional values. One of the most illustrative examples is Rome, where the patricians, more interested in pursuing pleasures and indulging in orgies, neglected their duties to the state, including safeguarding its borders and attending to its affairs. The Roman Empire subsequently transformed into the Church, with the Catholic Christian values for Rome and the Orthodox Christian values for Byzantium. We are currently living through a similar decline in Western civilization, marked by the rise of sexual liberation, the erosion of traditional values, and the weakening of governing powers. The societal acceptance of the devaluation of women's chastity, alongside the temptation to liberalize divorce, are merely symptoms of a larger, ongoing transformation.

Women get quickly psychologically damaged with more partners ! So yes bodycounts does matter for women

Lots of unfortunately stereotypical views in this video. As a manwho is not promiscuous, I don't value it in a woman. For a woman the risk of pregnancy should make her far more choosy who she sleeps with. If she has a high body count, then this to me is a poor judgement issue as well as risky bevaviour. Please don't fall for western reteric that sex with many partners is desirable or empowering. It isn't.

I think both values increase with normal amounts, but as Swede, we are much more open and straightforward with sexuality and these things. I don't understand how a man can prefer a girl who does not have a clue about her own sexuality what she likes and what feels good to her, and I doubt very few women turns-on the opposite that have no idea. You only get there with several partners or one partner over a long time if lucky. But if you have gathered the experience you logically want someone that has some experience compared to start all over again.

Also, caveat, I wouldn't want someone to be with someone who has to set up nor do I. I best friend is the most important thing when you don't have trust you have nothing

Sorry but Biology is biology as well as mental health. Men are wired different but for women their inability to pair bond is greatly affected. This is the reason why men are leaving the western culture and it looks like the Philippines is headed in that direction. We want low body count. We are willing to date single moms but again low body count is a must to pair bond or we would just stay in western culture. You may think it does not hurt anyone... but it kills a society to be promiscuous. In the west it is normal to sleep around... it is not normal to seek purity.

A woman and a man deal with sex differnt. women have more problem pair bonding after 5 partners. in the west it increases the chance of divorce a lot

I dated a women that slept with many men, I knew that and didn’t care. The sex was wild and often sooooo it didn’t bother me 😅. She wasn’t some girl I was sleeping with, she was my gf. It depends on the guy. Some guys want women with experience and high sexual energy.

society is not fair to women on this topic

Instead of "promiscuity" how about "a person who chooses to have consensual sex". Someone who has more sex than I do is not promiscuous. They just have a better life 👍. It's like driving... anyone going faster than you is a maniac... anyone driving slower than you is an idiot. Neither is accurate nor fair.

Freedom for everybody! But i am a bit old school. I prefer first to fall in love and then have sex. 😅 and i don’t think you have better experience after having a lot of partners.

I never cared about what others say or think about me.Maybe cos I am not from this planet. Personally for me the word Respect is the key.I respect myself and more importantly I respect the person I like/love/share time with.I am more into not to hurt that person in any way , shape or form. Numbers are the most important "things" in the Universe 😊 but not in a number of people you were intimate with (Unless your ego is up to the sky). I always attract people who are on the same frequency and will have the same values as me.Frequency resonate 😊 Having sex to boost ego never interested me, making love is what makes me tick. As we say here Happy wife(partner) happy life😊 Be yourself , respect yourself, love yourself and you will attract the same. Thanks for sharing the "uneasy" topic, definitely a different video with much less laughs, jumping of joy and high 5s.😊😊😊

Couple of points: 1. A woman's pleasure from sex depends on the guy knowing what he is doing. The reverse is also true but not to the same extent. 2. Evolutionary biology. Our brains are wired to survive in a hunter-gather society. In order for people to protect their offspring, they had to know which children are theirs. A woman would always know that, but a guy would only know it if a woman stuck to one partner. Also, in that society, men often died in battle with other tribes, or killed by wild animals, or some other accident. So multiple women per man was common. Of course it is not rational in 2024 to still think that way, but our instincts and feelings are not always rational.

I'm going to need a drink for this. Brb. When men use body count as a factor without reflecting on their own, you may want to question their rationale. That double standard sets a path that can be easily determined in a relationship, and it usually isn't a smooth road. You have to remove the rose-tinted glasses and see the relationship for what it is rather than what you desire. Sex isn't enjoyable unless both parties are experiencing something that makes you connect.

IMHO......part of ur initial statement at the beginning of vid has a flaw........a "mans value" is not tied to number of partners...........a mans value is tied to his status in society/life, his ability to provide/protect, ability to solve problems.........based on those and others he maybe fortunate to have many partners as more females will seek or will be attrcated to him.

God hates fornication, we need to behave.

If I’m a virgin at age 50, does that make me more or less attractive to women🤔

It sounds to me like the women on this panel are "cool" with women having many partners, for their "reference", "education", and so forth. Most men who want to be monogamous are likely not cool with it. But I say this. If you or any woman feels that alignment/agreement with the high body count, then make sure that you are upfront and truthful with your history. If you have been with ten, twenty men, you should clearly tell that to a prospective partner. If he has no issue with that, then as a practical matter, it is ok. Yes, the man should be as honest as well. Obviously if a woman has children or previously married, those are mitigating circumstances. Many of us men have not had much sex, whether we were "married" or not. You been with 4, 5 men or more, I can't get with that. I would like to know what is each of your responses to THAT.

Yes 100 %

When women young, they have youth and are ready to learn and have experiences with husband. When man is young most that do not inheiret money, they must work hard to make money and prosper for future family. So a man reaches his peam to marry around 35. While a female peak for marriage per mens wants will be 18 to 25 years old.

Interesting perspectives based on your experiences and observations. Thank you for sharing them.

The word (believe) is always in the way...good video😇

The amazing thing about this topic is that non of these males seem have the balls to speak the truth. So I will; The answer to your dilemma why male are look at differently when it come to have multiple mates is simply a matter of evolution. A female who mates with multiple males can only get pregnant by one male at a time, where as a male can impregnate several females at one time and have multiple offsprings. Our species was designed to mate for reproduction not for pleasure. Men look at things scientifically and logically not emotionally. Here’s a logically economically way to look at it; if a women have a 5 kids by 5 different men that put a major drain on a society resources; but alternately if a man have 5 kids by 5 different females then that does not put a drain on society resources because these are 5 individual households and the man usually is required to take care of his offspring so as not to put a drain on society resources. So it’s not about fairness or “societal” norms it’s simply about the evolution of the species. My guess is it’s frown upon and look at negatively because “Our Society” don’t see it as good for our existence!

Depends how good it was! lol

I was mortified with the thought of a true conservative Filipina, however I think it's the most beautiful thing she can give to her husband

Less feminism.. it only hurt the asian women to try to be a west woman... try more family.. less sleep around... this channel is extrem self centered..

Nah....im not into body counts....women are not here to serve men....ig im a romantic....one woman...one love...my homegirl....I know who I want...and what I want...

Maganda ka mahal🇸🇪🇵🇭🇵🇭👍🏿💪🏾🙏🏿

No