The Grammar Bar 

This, *this is comedy*

correction: A guy, walks into, a bar, and, says, “why is there so much punctuation here!?!?”

​@@too_online.3441that's too many commatations ☠️

A guy walks into a bar He should of ducked

@@too_online.3441 you misunderstand, the punctuation is *only* at the here, not spread out throughout the joke

Coffee shop isn't really an antonym for bar in this sense, perhaps it exited a prohibition instead

some antonyms exits the pole

​@@meadnex331coffee is a stimulant while alcohol is a depressant so it makes sense

@@roseyuen6916 :o that makes alot of sense!

I don't think nouns have antonyms

"Man, what are you doing here?" asked the bartender. "I got locked out, so I go out again," mondegreen answered.

a mondegreen walks into the bar and says she needs to pee. The bartender says "there's a bathroom on the right"

what's the song and what was the actual line?

@@musingsofanautiefangirl8945 Original would be "Hit me with your best shot", from Hit Me with Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar. Reply 1 references Piano Man ("Man, what are you doing here?"), and the mondegreen is "I got knocked down, but I get up again", from Tubthumping - Chumbawumba. Reply 2 is "There's a bad moon on the rise", from Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival.

An earworm walks into the bar. He's never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around, and dessert you.

En code switch går in i en bar. A homophone walks into a bar and hits its head. An incorrect tense walks into a bar and ordered a drink.

It's a very big fish.

As opposed to...

@@fictionfan0 A ravened bar?

​@internetlurker1850 "this is not minecraft"

A guy walks into a bar. “Ouch!!” - old Tech Crew joke

a pun ducks under the bar

Uh, no, no no, I'll grant you that it never _LEFT,_ but it's been on Tumblr so long that I am almost completely certain it's Come Out!

-A polysyndeton walked into a bar and drank and ate and talked and laughed -An asyndeton waked into a bar. It stared, it drank, it whistled.

either you study Latin like me or you're just an incredible language geek also: - A homoeoteleuton was walking into a bar, talking and thinking and looking around. - A hendiadys walks into a bar with noise and shouting. - A tautology and a pleonasm walked into a bar. - An ellipsis into a bar. and of course, - An ascending tricolon walks into a bar, orders five drinks, and pulls out a gun. edit: Into a bar there comes a dactylic hexameter walking, not however without its pentameter friend. (I'm way too proud of this.)

@@thevalarauka101 No, my literature classes have simply scarred me for life. I had to look up those figures of speech to know what they meant

@@Whenpigfly666 yeah lol I had to look up some of them too to remind me

And I just get them from context as English is not even my first language

That's it. Nothing happens.

​Full stop

Aw, you beat me to the spoonerism. Have a like.

Would you like the jokes explained to you by some other random guy on the internet?

@@randomguy-tg7ok ehhh, why not?

@@polishscribe674 Okay. I'll give it a shot then: Oxford comma: A comma between the second-to-last item in a list and the word “and” that immediately follows it; contained within the example sentence. Dangling participle: In the example sentence, “enjoying a cocktail” and “chatting with the bartender” don’t have a subject to attach themselves to, and hence are dangling participles. Passive voice: The passive voice was used for the example sentence. (Compare: This sentence uses the active voice.) Oxymoron: Two opposites being used together in a phrase. Silence, by definition, cannot deafen. Quotation marks: Used in the sentence. Malapropism: An incorrect form of a phrase. “All intents and purposes”, “Wolf in sheep’s clothing”, “Significant other”, and “Take(s him) for granted) are the four correct phrases I recognise; I don’t know what “muttering epitaphs” or “casting dispersions” are corruptions of. Hyperbole: Exaggerated exaggeration. Hyperbole did not, in fact, destroy everything. Question mark: On the end of the example sentence. Non-sequitur: Something which does not (logically) follow/work. Turkeys being able to fly in a strong wind has nothing to do with something walking into a bar. Papyrus and Comic Sans: are typefaces. Mixed metaphor: ‘Writing on the wall’ and ‘nip in the bud’ are both metaphors, in this case they are being mixed. Comma splice: The use of a comma to join to otherwise acceptable sentences, as per the example. Intransitive verbs: “To sit”, “To converse”, and “To depart” are all intransitive verbs - i.e. they may (or must) not take an object in a grammatically-correct sentence. Synonym: Two words with ‘the same’ meaning: in this case, “stroll” and “walk” are synonyms, as are “tavern” and “bar”. Cliché: Something which happens so often in fiction it can be considered uncreative. Such as walking into a bar at the end of a day. Run-on-sentence & Sentence fragment: Very Tumblr-like grammar. The first sentence is a run-on, the second is a fragment. Chiasmus: AB, BA when used to describe something (where the As and Bs are similar or identical to each other); included in the example. Figure of speech: Where something is not meant in a literal sense. “To get hammered” does not, in this instance, mean “to get hit with a hammer”. Allusion: Where something is referenced without being named directly. The example sentence contains (a somewhat bad example of) one. Subjunctive: A grammatical ‘mood’ used for wishing, willing, and hypotheticals. It is used in the example. Misplaced modifier: “named Ralph” refers to the man, not his glass eye, so is ‘misplaced’ within the sentence. Past, Present, and Future: Are all tenses. Dyslexic: Something about not being able to read ‘correctly’. In this case, bra instead of bar. Verbs conjugate to agree with their subject, tense, mood, et cetera (example: the ‘ed’ if a verb is in the past tense) while a noun declines (root word: declension) to show number, gender, etc. (example: the ’s’ or ‘es’ on a plural). Simile: “As X as Y” when used to describe something. Gerund and Infinitive: “Drinking” is gerund, “To forget” is infinitive. Hypenated: When the “-“ sign is used to join two words. ‘Hyphenated’ is not, ‘Non-hyphenated’ is. Zeugma: When a word ‘does work’ in multiple parts of a sentence - in this case, ‘walked into’. A more complete sentence would be “A zeugma walked into a bar, walked into my life, and walked into trouble”.

Just wanna say as an english speaker I still don't grasp a 3rd of them so that's pretty good.

@@polishscribe674 ...looks like my explanations didn't get posted. Ugh...

Oh yeah that’s Neil.

A haiku walks in The bar is full of many words The beer is lovely

Same here.I hope my own "walks into a bar" joke gets noticed,even by a few people.

I think eggcorns are a subset of malapropisms.

A homonym walks into a bar, then hits their head on a bar.

Dos cognados entran en un bar

A haiku enters A bar, orders some alcohol And then leaves, humming.

my heartbeats

All I can hear is that one song… Don’t, be rac-ist, I am, a skeleton.

Do you want to know how he got that scar? Well, ask Ralph.

is this a bot?

@@SysFan808 eee no 😒

@@SysFan808 clearry a bot or something haha very funny you know!

Google what a malapropism is