The Greatest Conversation Advice I Ever Received (with @Vanessa Van Edwards) 

What's the best conversation advice you can give?

In my own natural minimalist way (I’m a Swede :)), I have naturally “interviewed” others. I am really genuinely interested in others. My husband calls me the Diane Sawyer of the Central Valley. I am a high school English teacher and this character trait has served me well in my profession. But I can certainly say from a life time of personal and professional experience when I have come across someone unfriendly or difficult and usually they are both, my being totally and genuinely interested in their life, simply asking where they grew up, is a relationship changer. Asking if they were born in this city is a starter question that just feeds other questions and starts an amazing conversation with a colleague or complete stranger. Very simple stuff and so impactful to personal and professional relationships. People love to talk about themselves. There’s the dopamine hit. :)

That book 'How to win friends...' is one of my favourite books of all time. That question "What's good?" sounds way better than "What's new with you?" which I use a lot. Looks like it's time to make a change. Thanks so much guys.

What do you do when you use all these skills and the other person talks there head off but never reciprocates and shows an interest in you? That's not much of a real conversation.

To be interesting, be interested advice does work in my experience and feels genuine when you ask questions you actually want to ask!

I’m totally put off when people ask me what I do.

Adopt a "support" response whereby you ask questions in response to what's being said. All too often, people adopt the "shift" response whereby they bring the conversation entirely around to themselves.

I really think you guys should do an episode explaining earthing a little because I had never heard of it and im sure most people havent. Its something that could change a persons life and take away pain and inflammation. So it would be worth an episode to let people find out about it.

I'm an introvert and don't think that book is suggesting people to be extroverted. Although, I agree many of those niche books encourage readers to be more extroverted.

Clicked so fast

Usually I say, "Hi (insert name)! What's new & exciting?" The answer I usually get - "nothing". So maybe I'm interacting with not very interesting people ;) I'll try Vanessa's suggestion - "Hi! What's good?" and Ryan's - "What do you love to do?"

I used to be an introvert. Now I’m an ambivert. I’m no longer shy about talking to strangers, I just don’t do so much, because I don’t want to. I’ve come to realize the circle of quirky, weird, artsy friends I had throughout my school years mostly consisted of people I no longer want to associate with. Not because I think I’m better, but because the things we have in common are not the deep things. They turned out to mostly be atheists, and liberals. As the saying goes, “bad company corrupts good character.” I’m no longer comfortable spending hours with people who shrug off my discomfort with their blasphemy. If they’re willing to filter that out at least, I don’t mind engaging in conversation, but I also don’t want to invest a lot of my life into people who aren’t edifying to be around.

She is gorgeous.

Vanessa is hot.