As a hospice/palliative care provider, postpartum depression /anxiety/rage absolutely does not discriminate.... I can handle a lot of things. Ppd almost took everything away.❤
Meanwhile, we were broke, I was exhausted and had severe PPA and had the same guilt because I was the only resource for my child’s well being. Mental health doesn’t know your socioeconomic status. It doesn’t care how much help you do or don’t have how much money time accessibility you do or don’t have it hurts anyone randomly and equally. There’s no shame either way. You got through it and now you can advocate for others too. What a blessing in that…you’re helping others realize they aren’t alone ❤
People also assume that when you’re rich, you aren’t allowed to have any problems, health or mental health, or anything, at all. Not sure where people get that 100% false assumption from.
I was just thinking this. If a woman with money even dare say that being a mom is hard, you have other moms who aren’t as privileged in the comments trauma dumping therefore trying to prove that they are in fact the moms who have it hard.
@@julieyang1843 I hear you but this isn’t the victim Olympics. Postpartum is hard no matter who you are. Many of us have access to the same type of resources. I live in a regular neighborhood and there’s access to support groups and I work a regular job making less than 50k and I have access to a therapist that specializes in Postpartum.
Thank you for sharing this. I just cried watching it because I felt so validated. I only just admitted to myself I had postpartum depression 3 years and 2 kids later. Thank you.
As a girl, about 10, my hormones started to fluctuate. And 4 decades later, they still do. I didn't get to have children, but I deeply empathize with u that have. If I feel this confused and not in my own skin, alone, I can't imagine carrying or having a newborn to sort myself out. Keep sharing and healing and helping new moms know that their feelings r valid. To reach out to their doctor and find ways to cope. Meds, therapy, or whatever will help her❤
PPD has absolutely no boundaries whatsoever of our environment. Mental health of all stages of life is so important to talk about. Thank you for sharing your experience. 💙
Oh my goodness Shawn I’m 67 now and I can still feel how horrible I felt when my first child was born. I went on to have 2 more. It was so bad that I didn’t want anything to do with my son because I think subconsciously I blamed him for me feeling so awful and that’s after all these years of reflection and looking back. Thankfully it didn’t last long. And omg back then there was this terrible SIDS commercial that played consistently showing an empty swing with no child in it and that almost did me in. I’d feel the crying coming on and I’d jump up and run to do dishes or something to take my mind off of it but nothing worked. I finally called my obgyn and he called me in something for my nerves and it saved my life. I had no help at all really. My mom would keep him every now and then and the marriage was awful on top of it all. Nobody can tell me there isn’t a God because I wouldn’t be here right now were it not for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ❤.
Thank you for talking about this. I felt the SAME WAY! I had so much shame for years. It also didn’t hit in the way I felt like PPD should. I’m so glad you are sharing.
Thank You Shawn for sharing and for being vulnerable. It’s important. I still have emotional memories of my journey more than 35 years ago and I felt so alone.
I struggled with postpartum depression. My husband wanted to get a night nurse to care for our little one so we could sleep and I was against it because I didn’t want people to shame me for not being able to do it. Then I would catch myself many times staring at the ceiling and not blinking for a long time. It was the only peace that I felt I got. Worst time of my life. I’m grateful I got out of it and now my LO is such a good boy now.
Thanks for being so brave, Shawn & sharing your story with your husband at your side. I am an old mom/ grandma now & I only knew one person who had struggled through severe PPD. Still, one person was better than none & it made me feel less alone in the battle to recover.🫂 💓🙏👩⚕️💪
It makes me really happy that more women are talking about this cause I was Persecuted for saying how I felt when I was pregnant and afterwards. Thank you for being vulnerable and honest ❤️
You should not feel ashamed Shawn you should feel blessed! Now you know what it’s like you can now volunteer to help someone who is less fortunate then you were. I know you will your e a kind and lovely person!
I have no help outside of my husband but my 2 month old sleeps through the night. Days are rough and I feel overwhelmed between him and my 5yo someone always needs something and I just wanna chill in silence But I feel like I shouldn't bc I'm so lucky I get sleep at night. It's never-ending and the guilt is all consuming
3 girls myself and lucky to not have PPD but now am going to be a grandma for the first time and will keep a very close eye on my girl to make sure she is ok and to get her help if she isn’t at any point. Thanks for reminding me it isn’t just the pregnancy we have to help them through, it’s the recovery as well and that is a couple years after not a couple months.
Goes to show how real ppd is, and even when you have all the resources you can still be brought down by it. It’s easy for me to believe I’d have a better chance of not getting severely depressed if I had half that help but in the end I know how by body responds after having a baby. Thanks for sharing your experience, normalizing something that needs to be talk about openly ♥️
I went through postpartum depression with my second baby. It was hard! And I still feel guilty to this day. My husband took such good care of our baby while I slept. His father kind of made comments at me saying I’m always sleeping. I felt so bad. I lost so much weight and hair. Glad I had support from my husband and my brothers. They knew I wasn’t myself and they babysat their niece. Played with her. Fed her. Eventually I got out of it after a while.
Even the Air you breathe can contribute. It is simply a process. Rest is probably the best healer, but everyone has their own timetable and it is mainly based on hormones, so love and support and patience is required. I'm 65 and still remember mine. You are not alone. I hope they have support groups now.
☹️❤️ it’s gonna get who it wants, no matter the financial circumstances or environment or the persons happiness before pregnancy. Pregnancy does some wild stuff to the body from brain to feet. You got this ❤️💪🏻
I had severe postpartum with my 2nd daughter. I had my mother but it didn’t matter because I had severe insomnia. I didn’t sleep for 2 weeks straight. My marriage was also a major contributor. My ex wanted us to move to Las Vegas from NY. I refused. I couldn’t leave my family. I finally got put on the right medication and 6 months later I started to feel better.
I’m so sorry you also had to experience this terrible part as well! Thinking you have “no reason “ but still feeling it must have been so hard. I’m glad you were able to get the help you needed! It’s a journey for sure!
I can relate. I had really bad PPD when I had my first born. I felt such immense guilt, how as a new mother could I feel this way?! I eventually had to go see a psychologist cuz it went way beyond 6 weeks. He taught me great coping mechanisms which I applied when I struggled. It was to do the things I enjoy to distract my brain and put my focus on to something else. It really helped. If I felt overwhelmed with my son I’d put him down somewhere safe and walk outside of my house to pull weed. It sounds stupid but I love pulling weed it is so satisfying to me, even if I did it for a few mins it helped calm my mind. Unfortunately I had to give up breastfeeding cuz of my PPD as it made it worse for me cuz of lack of sleep I was getting.
I appreciate this being spoken of. You feel such shame about it. Everyone assumes you should be so happy and excited and in reality it crushes you. First pregnancy was good. Second not so much and battling PPD is very rough. Mommas you’re not alone. You’re lovely and one day it’ll get better❤
I had PPD after my third pregnancy and I tried so hard to fight it myself because I felt guilty and like I was weak if I couldn’t just make it go away on my own. My first two pregnancies went like clockwork and everything was great. Third pregnancy was full of sickness and complication after complication and then followed immediately by PPD. Six months later, I finally admitted that I needed professional help, and that saved my life. My psychiatrist told me “There’s the country song depression - Dog died, truck won’t start, girlfriend left, etc. and then there’s depression that comes even when life is wonderful. You’re blessed with an amazing husband and kids and things are great, yet you just feel down all the time.” That was me and I was so relieved that he understood and that he knew how to help me.
So much love to you! 💗 That’s so hard, and I bet you felt lonely and isolated because of that. It’s so easy to compare our hard to other people’s hard, which I think comes from healthy self-awareness. But even though it comes from a healthy place, I think the healthier thing (that almost all of us myself included still need to grow in) is not comparing our hard to others’ hard. Your postpartum depression was really hard it sounds like, and I’m so sorry you went through that. And at the same time, other moms’ struggles as new mothers are also really hard, and you and I can have just as much compassion for them and want them to get the help they need as you acknowledge your own hard. Thank you for being honest about this! Nothing but love to you and your sweet family!
I had none of those things and would NEVER get upset that you did!!! My PPD was pretty awful but it also doesn’t discriminate. You can have EVERY advantage and still have your hormones wreck you and your mental health.
This is an important for you to share! I think a lot of moms think that postpartum depression is for new moms who don't have all these resources but it really does affect anybody!
😅 Ah man, this is so real! I had an amazing community of people helping with my son. My mom came to me one day and I was just crying that day. And she’s like, “Honey, what’s wrong”? And I said, “Nothing, I just started crying today and haven’t been able to stop”. And then I started crying because I was crying. 😂😂😂 It makes me laugh now because my son is 22 years old now. But at the time he was only two weeks. That PPD was no joke. It lasted almost a whole year. A whole year of sadness and guilt tripping myself because I literally had everything I needed.
Never feel ashamed of how you feel. Everyone struggles. Sometimes things buried in us resurface too when we least expect it and we gotta work through it and come back stronger ❤
Felt similar. I only had my husband to help. He was and is awesome. I still got depression about 9 months in unexpectedly. Then got hard on myself and my husband noticed so had to have a sit down with him to talk it out.
I didn't know I had PPD for the same reason. Everything was great. Our whole family is so loved, blessed and was being so well taken care of. I thought I was just new mom tired until my husband said I wasn't myself
I think we all have to remember sometimes that we don't control our emotions, we MANAGE them. Our feelings are always valid, and telling yourself you're wrong to feel some way doesn't make it go away; you are just making it harder to deal with when you speak to yourself like that. Let yourself feel to understand, communicate that to those who need to know, find ways to cope and move on. It's ok to not be ok.
Identity loss. The feeling that you've done all this work your whole life to build yourself up, and now it's meaningless. You're GONE. And then, YOU'RE BACK, and EVEN STRONGER.
AND THIS IS WHY I APPRECIATE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU'RE HELPING BY BEING HONEST AND VULNERABLE, IN SHARING YOUR STORY? YOUR TRUTH? MUCH RESPECT! 🙂❤
I told myself the same thing of How dare i feel this way, but i realized that it was the PPD talking. I wish women talked about this more openly. I felt so alone & guilty cause i didnt know anyone else had felt or were having the same feelings that i was having.
ugh this brings back intense memories with my 2nd and PPD/PPA. Didn’t get it with my 1st or 3rd, just my 2nd and I felt guilty and ashamed it was happening but also couldn’t control it. vicious cycle.
I thought similarly, Andrew, but in the way that Shawn knew HOW she felt inside herself when she was the absolute healthiest and highest level of performing and then she just felt that so much within herself was WRONG but she didn't feel like she could do most things she knew would help as it could negatively impact Bear.
The same reason I feel so guilty and stupid for having depression. I have no reason to. I had the childhood of any kids dream. Amazing parents. My siblings and cousins were my best friends. Loving grandparents. A job that I love and pays well with great benefits. I have the most wonderful husband in the entire world who loves me unconditionally. Yet I am somehow depressed?? How? Why? I feel so guilty.
It our bodies!!!! We don’t CHOOSE PPD! It’s not mentally possible to just not be depressed from having a baby. It’s like drug withdrawal. The oxytocin that was flowing like a river dries up! The endorphins from the exhilarating from birth tank. It takes awhile for things to level out. External circumstances can make it worse if there is no support or a living spouse. I was suicidal with my first. But, God got me through it. Each kiddo was a challenge - I at least knew what to expect. No drugs just self-care and time, lots of prayer.
Unfortunately to this day having postpartum and talking about it is taboo and looked down upon. You have non rich folks saying when celebs talk about postpartum “ why are we hearing this. This is TMI and blah blah blah”. Just shows society is openly hypocritical and ignorant. Always the leading cause of all problems. Unfortunately I don’t think it will stop being taboo and looked upon when talking about it.
Demons don't follow rules. They'll pounce on anyone. I had a bout with PPD after my 4 baby was born. I have 4 kids ages 4-1. I had so much help at the beginning, but my M-I-L was diagnosed with breast cancer and her help disappeared for about 8 months while she beat it. But in the middle of that I had the worst time of my life. My youngest was not an easy sleeper, she would wake at least 5 times per night for at least 9 months. I got into a pretty deep pit. But Jesus... My godly husband was led by the Lord to walk me through scriptures of authority, identity in Christ, and God's love and healing. And I finally saw the attacks for what they were. The devil seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. I took those scriptures and told him he had no authority over me, I declared myself free from his lies, and I changed instantly. My whole life was different from that moment on. Praise and glory to the compassionate loving Father we have, and the authority we have through his Son!
I was fine after the birth of my son but, I had PPD after my daughter was born. My MIL was of no help whatsoever while she stayed with us for two weeks.
I had fertility issues and when I had my baby through ivf, I felt ashamed and angry at myself for having PPD. I still feel that way 15months pp... like, I should be grateful so how dare I feel that
Help others more than just talking to make money to be more privileged go out and volunteer! Don’t feel guilty you have given the USA 🇺🇸 so much pride and ❤ 😂🎉! Don’t be hard on yourself just give back in ways you get no benefit! You’re an Amaxing athlete and person focus on that!❤
Postpartum hormones are. A. Trip. 😢 That first baby is so tough, ngl. By baby number 5 you know what to expect and it feels so easy to navigate all those feelings 🎉❤
Girl, ppd is out of your control! Its your hormones, dont beat yourself up. Just be glad you were blessed enough to have all the support so you could take the time to recover ❤ its okay
Funny how some can have everything amd still not have it mentally. I have none and I mean none of that and my baby is 9 months and I am super lucky somehow I have had severe depressive disorder but everytime I gave birth (3) babygirls my brain goes into love and warmth and my depression is there buy my babies smell and holding them and kissing them makes me feel better. It would be awesome to have more sleep and help even so I can shower by myself some days but I never got that much help with my girls. I had a c section with 0 pain meds since I celebrate 8 years sober this year snd knew I had to do whatever to protect that. So we went home I struggled hard to move but knowing my baby loved and needed me, I somehow pushed through. We are all human. Please stop judging new mommas. Either way, if we need help and you see that, HELP! It isn't that hard people
there were lots of us without much support whose partners let us know that we weren't allowed to have PPD. Fun fact - If untreated PPD can hang around for years.
No, let's not compare people and their struggles. Comparing only leads to more shame and guilt, which is useless when we are trying to get better. Just be kind and offer support if you can.
I need to know why we are experiencing PPD/PPA so much these days. Is it occurring more or do we talk about it more? My youngest is about the same age as Bear and I had/have PPA so bad this time. I haven’t had it with any other baby. It’s so strange to me and I feel so guilty about it
None of your resources, support, privileges, etc. mean that your body is not undergoing hormonal and physical changes. When the natural response is to blame or shame yourself, after a certain point you’re gaslighting yourself because you are experiencing a very real condition. Easier said than done but don’t be mean to yourself or not allow yourself grace when your body created, carried and birthed an entire human. The thoughts can come up. From your brain. But let your heart remind you that you’re still allowed to process and feel everything you experience. Try not to hurt yourself when you’re hurting. From an empathetic disabled human being since birth ❤ you’re *allowed* to feel anything but it really affects you when you believe them or change yourself or life based on them ❤
What does how well or bad someone is doing in life financially in life have to do with how someone is doing mentally or emotionally? People need to quit assuming people with money don't have any problems.
