The heartbreaking story of REN and JOE 

The end of this song and "For Joe" flipped a switch in my brain and removed this choice as an option

Ren"s pain after Joe jumped, also saved him from doing anything similar.

The first part is about himself, in the midst of his Lyme disease. The second part is about his friend Joe

Joe jumping, Ren suffering that loss, and seeing the pain it caused, is possibly responsible for Ren being with us today. As bad as his sickness and pain got, he said he wouldn't do that to his family, so he hung on, and he suffered through, and after almost 10 years, he found a way to treat it. Hope is a dangerous thing because losing it can be crushing but sometimes, even when you think it's lost, it's still there, just looking for a chance. You just have to hold on.

Anyone who says you aren’t good at this…. Yeah, that’s garbage. Really well done man, this is a tough one. Keep up the great work.

Ren was in this headspace until he experienced the fallout from Joe. Seeing what it did to his family, he realized it was no longer an option. Enjoying your reactions❤

I think at some point you should watch Rens thank you when he hit a million subscribers. It’s an important message and shows you Rens mission statement if you will. It also touches on a lot of the things you talked about at the end.

Please please please make sure to check out Freckled Angels BEFORE For Joe!!! For your own sake. It makes the latter extra special. As others have said, the first half was about himself, and the ending was about his best friend. He wrote it much later after the first interview with Knox where he talked about how the song didn’t really feel finished and about losing Joe. He sat down one day and it just started pouring out. He recorded it bit by bit as he wrote it which is why the emotions are so raw. He put everything on the track and shared it with the world. That loss is however the main reason we still have Ren because he knows exactly how much pain it causes family and friends when you end things like that 😢

As someone who's lost a little brother by his own hand, I appreciate how this track shows BOTH sides.... those hurting, and those hurt in the aftermath. Thank you for being here, keep up the good fight.

That is why renegades are the way we are. We were forged through honesty and care. Have a look at the comments. This song saved lives, as did Hi Ren. Thank you for your words. You will be heard.

The first part of this song, when Suic1de is almost chanted in the chorus reminds me of a Mr Rogers quote. To paraphrase "When feelings are mentionable, their manageable."

He got a phone call about his best bud on a bridge and was running to stop him. He was a few minutes too late and they never recovered his body. He still carries the grief and a few months after wrote the song Freckled Angels. For Joe is another beautiful tribute.

As others have said, the first part was about Ren's own ideations hence why the music was upbeat and not what you would expect. This is because for him, the act would have been a release from all his suffering. His disease was all consuming and just wanting it to all stop must have been an all consuming idea. But like he said, "it never was the right time". Then when his friend Joe comitted the act, Ren saw the utter destruction the act had on those who loved him and vowed to never do that to his loved ones. He endured the pain until he found a solution to his problems. For Joe, Freckled Angels and How to be Me with Chinchilla are songs he's dedicated to his friend. If you do wish to react to these (which I recommend because they are stunning songs) I suggest reading what Ren pinned to the comments on For Joe for a background info. Thank u for a lovely reaction ❤ Ps. Ren also wanted to make a point with this song..he said that it was ridiculous that he couldn't put the title properly bc it would get flagged but Murderer (another of his songs) was ok. The point being that the fact it's such a 'taboo' subject means that people feeling that way find it hard to talk about their feelings which would prevent the act in the first place. This is why he says the word so much in the song...he wanted to remove that stigma.

Clearly you ARE good at this and anyone who said otherwise is a nitwit. I hope it wasn't a Renegade.

Please, please, whether it be on the channel or on your own, if you haven't already, please watch "For Joe". This song left us all with a hole torn out of our collective souls, and "For Joe" was the follow-up to this song. Ren played "For Joe" live, then played forJoe's parents and with it he was able to get some personal closure, and that feeling transfers to the listener, as Ren is very skilled at doing. ❤ Also, I think you're great at this, please keep going🫡

So many people (especially men) are alive today not because they want to live, but because they don't want their family's to suffer if they go. That is the scariest realisation i've had in a long time. Ren by his own admission was one of those people, after Joe's death Ren saw the effect his passing had on himself and those around him, and knew he couldn't ever do that to the people he loved. The place Ren is in now can show you how much things can change for the better if you can just "Hope" and "Hold On" for one more second, one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more week, one more month, one more year.... Ren's story of Hope... Troubles.. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pt7Bpy27d1M.html&ab_channel=HeartSupport-MusictoImproveYourMindset Ren...... Hold On.. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-n7jsWZmHhcM.html&ab_channel=Ren

Should check out "freckled angles - live" from him then "for joe" if you want to get wrecked more.

Loved your wise words. That is the same message that Ren is making too as the effect on those left behind is devastating. In an interview he spoke about Joe’s ( the friend who died ) family and the devastation caused. How life can turn from despair to hope ( his song Troubles )…is an important message too ……. Ps …..take no notice of a single hater…..you are Good at this 😊😊….hi from the UK 🖤🖤🖤

Now you must listen to For Joe - to take you from the complete darkness of this towards a calmer acceptance. Big hug x

Intelligent, compassionate, relatable reaction! Welcome again to the world of Ren! His art touches people like the works of Shakespeare, Thoreau, and, Emerson. REN is not a normal human. He’s something different, something special. He understands this power that he wields and accepts it.He doesn’t take it lightly. He is a beacon of hope and a voice for our generation on this troubled earth. We need to listen to him as he is a rare prophet of intelligence for mankind! I know that is an extreme interpretation of his existence but wisdom comes rarely and in unusual forms. He probably didn’t know it when he was busking on the streets of Brighton, or when he was suffering from a misdiagnosed disease that his suffering was an important part of his calling. He now realizes it, and accepts it through his understanding of the power of his message, and of the power of social media like no other artist has been able to harness. I believe Ren is that voice for our time on this spinning ball! The question remains as to how the masses will be able to realize this while he is still with us!

This one hits hard. Thanks for doing it man. We love the Ren reactions . Just when you think you know where he’s taking a song …… he hits you with a ninety degree turn . The guy is amazing. Keep the reactions going. As for your reaction……. It’s yours and of the hundreds I’ve seen …… it’s good. It’s good . Don’t listen to what they say . Some are better than others but it’s got to be chalked up to experience . Some of these guys like Knoxhill have been at it for years and have a massive following . You’ll get there and even if you don’t it’ll serve you in a way that you get something out of it for you. We all do what we do and have reasons that no body needs to understand. Do what you enjoy and the subs will come to you. Cheers 🍻 🇨🇦

A good cry is in order. I keep Kleenex nearby when I’m listening to Ren’s music.

Yeah, this is a rough one. Thank you ❤

Thank you for reacting to Ren. Yes the first part was about him and the second was about his friend Joe Hughes. I've subscribed in the hope of more Ren reactions.

That...that was a great reaction to this song! Music has such a power! Ren wrote it because he felt that way himself, he also wanted to put an end to it (because of his illness) he saw no other way out. But then his friend Joe made such a permanent decision and Ren felt the sadness that such a decision leaves behind, in himself, in his family and friends...so he couldn't do it himself anymore, he couldn't do that to his family and friends! This song shows the perspective from two different points of view, firstly the person who wants to leave and at the end the point of view of the person left behind, the person who has to live with this decision, whether he wants to or not. Thank you for your profound words at the end of the video 🙏 The toughest guys are often also the most sensitive 💪🫶 Greetings from Germany 👏👍🤝🙋‍♀️

Ren did a podcast through part of his battle with Chronic Lyme disease He ended up becoming a bit of an advocate for people helpless in bed or at home in the middle of the undiagnosed medically gaslit world of autoimmune conditions I have watched a few of them He is a very good advocate. But after loosing many people to their illnesses and this way out had to stop doing them He eventually got a treatment that mostly helped He promised not to forget those left behind and he has never forgotten the friends he lost young When this was released he had the info of Charity's that help people with S and most of the reactors also had links He also did an interview with MIND a UK charity for mental health issues Thanks for your kind reaction also

This is a song that deserves more listens and a deeper understanding of the first part of the song. Such a catchy beat but with dark undertones. The poetry of his words of introspection and looking inward, self-judgement, self-awareness, self-hatred -- its all there for me. This is a beautiful song. I hope you do For Joe at some point. Thank you for supporting Ren!

REN is a professional at leaving us speechless, laughing, crying and everything in between 💔 I’ve been here over 60 years old. It is hard but sometimes you have to dance sideways to get through it! ❤

The 2nd part of this song is rough! On another note I am very glad you started the reaction channel and you seem very authentic ❤❤❤

1:10 Its good you read the comments and you seem to really take them to heart. First reaction here and I can already tell you are a strong man that wears your heart on your sleave. Most people like this are their own biggest critic brother. It is good to be able to self evaluate like this. Read the comments and understand them to know weather you should do one thing or another after reflection but try not to take them to heart to much. The more you grow the better and worse this becomes...

The first part is Ren's battle with depression and thinking about that option. I have been in a very dark place a few times. When you feel like that you don't see color everything is grey around you. I can't tell you how many times I said to myself that it was not the right time. Also when you feel like that, you feel this nervous feeling that makes you feel nauseous, and you can't eat. The second part is about how people you leave behind are affected. In this case, it is how it affected Ren after Joe ended it. Great reaction, I think you are very good at this!

Welcome to the Ren rabbit hole! Speaking as a 61 year old guy who was brought up on the likes of Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd etc, I can honestly say that in my opinion, you have just come across the single most interesting and diverse artists of the modern age. I have just seen all your reactions to him, and am subscribing for more! I guarantee that the majority of your subs are Renegades, and you won't find a more loyal fanbase on the planet! Enjoy the journey my friend... the hole is sooo deep with many twists and turns! Side note... Pink Floyd will probably remain my favourite band of all time, but I must agree with a statementyou made earlier..... Roger Waters is kind of a dick... 😅

The song is like thinking about it. Then at the end you see what would happen to those you love if you do.

He’s an artist that helps people in more ways than one, and opens windows for people to help each other, thanks great reaction, stay safe everyone ❤

In the nicest way, i loved your reaction. You're obviously a very genuine, empathic person and youve got a great presence and vibe. Keep up whatever youre doing and enjoy and be present for the rollercoaster ride of life. Im learning more and more so to do that. Much love and respect from London UK 🌼😊 .

"For Joe" is the preferred follow-up to Su!cide!!!

Thank you. As Renegades we support you , fighting the good fight against negativity and social shaming over truths about mental health. Superb reaction, new subscriber. Old Musician From Seattle

You don't suck at doing these reactions. Your words are clearly heartfelt and you show courage by facing this topic publicly. I'm here for the long haul mate. Love what you're doing.

You most definitely should do "For Joe" (live version) as a follow up to this video, as it will fill in some of the blanks. Thank you so much for this reaction... 💗

Another super reaction!! "That's always an option." got me through a LOT of dark times. Peace, brother.

Great reaction.. He followed this up with “For Joe” which is definitely worth checking out.

❤❤❤ Sending a big squishy hug from ND. I love this reaction, not bc you were sad, I don't want that. It's bc you were more yourself I feel like. I appreciate your openness. It's nice to watch reactions to ppl who can relate to the music you relate to yourself in whatever way. Thanks for doing more REN I check your channel a lot to see if you by chance did Ren and I missed it lol. Also I was going to ask last time I saw your fur baby if she/he is a pitty? I have a deep love for the breed. Have my own 2. But I also didn't ever get a look at yours face so I could be wrong. Anyway beautiful dog. Snoring away! ❤

Great reaction. I'm sure you're learning this as you go and as hard as it may be, you have to ignore the negative comments while embracing the constructive criticism. Such a hard topic and one that nearly everyone has been affected by in one way or another. As a veteran, as you mentioned, I feel the weight of it a little more at times. I think Ren did an incredible job at sharing insight on the topic from the perspective of someone contemplating and also from someone who has had their life rearranged by another who made the choice. Ren truly knows how to hit you in the feels. Looking forward to more of your reactions. 💙💛🤘🤙✌️

If you want another song that will rip your heart out like this one, check out "For Joe" 🥹🤗💜

I think one of my favorite things about watching reactions to rens music reactions is people learning to open and it’s ok to do so and then REN-egades being sooo supportive and encouraging ❤

You're very good at these. Just sayin'.

What Ren did with this whole album of Sick Boi, was bring together a world of diverse people - I'm a middle age english woman, I know there are many much older than me among the Renagades too, vibing alongside the youngsters and those in their prime, people from all over the world. It gets people talking about the difficult subjects and makes it ok to 'feel' and to share. I will never tire of watching all sorts of people react to these pieces and see the expressions when things land. You reacted with utter genuine emotion. You had the same gut-punch moment I did -the line about dumping the whole thing over the bridge the night Joe jumped. That's the moment it all goes from being a song about S'cide in general to being very, very specific. Thanks for being 'one of us' and allowing your feelings to show and be heard. Not everyone can do that, so that makes you pretty darn good at the reaction vids, if you ask me. :)

You have so many more emotions to go through with ren's music. So much more amazing reactions to come from you 🇬🇧🇬🇧

I have been in that situation but it wasn’t my time. Living in pain for 15 years now does make you depressed. When you hit the black hole it’s not easy to climb out of it. Good reaction

Don’t listen to the haters the way you reacted by letting the full song play then get into your interpretation is one of the better ways to do a reaction video. And your message at the end is impassioned and impactful. Thank You for doing this.

Thank you for the beautiful message at the end. REN’s magic has a way of making its way to the best people, like you 😘

Your comments at the end added to all of this thank you

The first part is about how Ren contemplated unaliving, but didn't (s*icide, s*icide, never the right time) and second part was about his best friend Joe who did jump and Ren was 5 minutes (literally) late to the bridge and they never found him. 😢

Seems like there is always someone around needing to feel powerful by knocking others down. You are beautiful and connecting at this. Ren made me cry again. After this was released, he opened a twitch stream to make sure everyone had the support in the community and to answer questions. Good job on this one!❤

Some of us look at the light at the end of the tunnel as a train heading towards you… It’s hard to see clearly when you’re in the dark

This was the second Ren song I came across. It happened to be on Mothers Day. My now 8yr old lost his mom to suicide when he was 2.

It's okay to cry, we are human too. Great reaction! Much love brother.

He recorded the first half and felt that was something missing. So he sat down to write the second half and recorded it straight away.

I've heard this so many times, but still feel the emotion so hard. Suggest "For Joe" next. It starts with a live perfomance of the 2nd part "Su!c!de", plus elements of the another song about Joe called "Freckled Angels", and some additional newer elements. Plus you get to see Ren's keyboard skills too.

I lost my son 1 year and 9 months ago… he committed suicide while on a video chat with me. It has destroyed me in so many ways. So this song hits me extremely hard.. hearing Ren speak about the things he thinks about and wishing he can turn back time and change things.. great reaction!!!

Ren brings out so much, including HOPE ❤

This one definitely hits hard, make sure to take an emotion break 🤗. Beautiful fur baby btw 💜💜. Oh, and don’t let anyone deter you with their shitty comments. You’re good, you’ve got this!!

Ren is my favorite artist. the first time I heard this son it felt like a message from God. My Brothers son had just jumped off of a bridge to his death and I was finding it hard to process. This song helped allot. Thanks for reacting to REN. My Brother wrote a song about his son. Next month is Suicide prevention month. Would you consider reacting to his song in September??

This one hurt. But if it makes just one person take a minute to think about the people that they leave behind and the anguish it would cause. It's worth it. Please do For Joe next. He turns this song of pain onto one of HOPE. Take care and be safe. ❤🤗❤

Empathy for the suicidal is often a bit thin or none existant, that's why we are told to reach out, not the people around us to reach in. Empathy for the bereaved is plentiful, most of us can relate to the loss of someone, but the excruciating hurt comes from the gap in between. We make light of a comment or miss that silent cry for help and we curse ourselves for missing it, but truth be told when that switch flips and we are gone nothing was going to stop it, go easy on yourselves, and others.

hugs all around

This song is from the song For Joe or at least inspired by it , but also ties into How to be me and Chalk outlines. He has another friend that died right after named Callum he wrote a piano piece that has not words called Mackay it is worth listening to.

Ren does play the piano for this as you will see in FOR JOE should you do that song.

Thank you for your heart in this video. It’s a rough song but shining a light on the darkness robs it of its power. Thank you for what you’re doing

Thank you for your empathetic and honest reaction. 👍❤🫂 Other already mentioned the other songs for Joe. In this song Ren mentions another friend: Callum. He drowned six month later in an accident. Rens song Mackay is dedicated to Callum. It's piano only but so emotional. Check out the description to that song. In June 2023 Ren donated 21K Pounds to the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution) on Anglesey, who helped find Joe in that night and the following days. He collected the money via the JustGiving platform (check out the description of the For Joe video). Furthermore another friend of Joe named his restaurant 'Freckled Angels', like the album and song Ren dedicated to Joe. It's in Menai Bridge, the city named like the bridge Joe jumped from.

You are not bad at these, be yourself and you will be happy with yourself and that comes across. Do not give haters the time of day. I loved your honesty, similar to how I felt.

You are doing great and are relatable. Brush off the rude comments and press on. As for the topic it's rough living with some things, every day is a disabled war to survive for me. Songs and artists that instill strength are very dear to me. Tom MacDonald does the same for me as Ren, like two spirits from across the Pond bringing people together through their trials.

I think we all have had those thoughts, i know tomorrow a new day and i try to keep it moving on....thanks brother for sharing your thoughts ,great reaction appreciate you👍

Keep your reactions real like this and you your channel will continue to grow

Maximum respect for tackling this one,it's tough,very tough,but every video like yours that's out there,makes a difference,you've already made a difference,and you should be extremely proud of that❣

Look out for the live version of the end part, in the song he did called "For Joe". He teamed it up with parts of Freckled Angles.

❤😊 Thank you for your honesty at the end of the video. You made me cry , touched my heart and reminded me to hang on. Thank you❤

Great heartfelt and compassionate reaction.

You are AWESOME! Some people try and diminish others so they can feel superior to you. I’m sorry negativity affected you. New sub here because I want to hear more from you. Your end to this video was very moving. Thank you!

It is so worryi g that the stigma of suicide hss returned after so many years of fighting tto get to a point where people could talk iits so important not to hide it and be allowed to open up.

Just commented on your hi ren video, didn’t realise you’d already reacted to them. 😊I think this was most likely 99% of people’s reactions. Ten takes snippets of other songs or lyrics from other songs into another. So a small part of this was from his sick boi video, which is also an amazing song. The last bit is for joe.

Came for Ren. Subbed for you. Looking forward to your journey down the rabbit hole!

My sister took her life. The pain never goes away. ❤

You've done some of his deeper and more difficult songs. He's got fun songs, too. I know you said you don't want to turn into a Ren reaction channel, so I'm guessing it may be a few weeks before we see you do another Ren song, but Losing It is him rapping over an electronic song of the same name by Fisher, there is a 4 part Love Music series and he morphs into a Beastie Boy in What You Want and The Hunger is Ren showing off a bit. So many great songs and it's not hyperbole. The man has crafted his skill and oozes talent and authenticity. He'd the gift that keeps on giving.

He speaks from both sides and his feelings about Joes passing jusy may give people pause to think.

Nice heartfelt reaction man. Kia kaha (stay strong) from NZ

This was a song written in 2 parts. Ren wasn't satisfied with the song, and shortly before he dropped the album he added the second part after an interview with Knox Hill, where Ren talked about his friend Joe. It's much more raw, particularly as he said he was writing it and recording a couple of lines at a time. He resisted the temptation to re-record and make it more polished, and I appreciate that.

Thank you the your reaction

A beautiful reaction to a beautiful song! This song caused a bit of an uproar when it came out; Ren and reactors ran into trouble with RU-vid, had censorship issues, because (as you are obviously aware) you can't even say the word "Su!cIde." Ren commented on what a problem this is, because the whole attitude prevents people from talking about it when they need to, creates a culture of shame around it. Ren called out the irony around this by saying, "Is it just me that thinks it's weird that you're allowed to have a song called MURDERER without censorship issues but call it suicide and it gets flagged???????" (btw: Murderer is a great song, when you get to it!)

Didn't find this til i just saw the short! The ideology behind censorship in music sucks!!! Cant say, let alone type, a word! A friggen Word! Effed up world were living in to say the least!

Such wise words 👏👏💯

Thank you for having such a great channel :)

Respect brother ✊🏼

Thank you for this one ❤

Really great reaction and post reaction reflection. You are really good at this.

For Joe is the follow up song R.I.P Joe Hughes 🙏

You're really good at these.

Oohhh I’ve been checking to see when you’re back! And jumping in with both feet I see! Ren makes you feel things. Even when he makes us sad, it’s a very alive and awake type of emotion. Loving seeing you go on this journey. We watch because we can’t wait them again for the first time. I think you’re very good at this.

Freckled angels is the first song he wrote about his best friend joe. Please react to the album version of the song ❤❤❤

For Joe has to be next, you'll see why! Trust me.