This was probably the hardest video for me to make so far. I have to say that I debated for so long whether I wanted to talk about this publicly. There are a lot of reasons for that, but some of the big ones include acknowledging that what works for one person, may fall flat with another. It's a ridiculously, highly personal topic, and the most important thing you can do for yourself is to get really CURIOUS about your own needs, your own body's reactions, and your physical and emotional state. Ultimately though, I chose to move forward with releasing this video because I truly felt hung out to dry when I was younger. I felt so completely on my own in this arena, with "advice" that felt really inactionable. To this day, disordered eating is rampant and feel incredibly hard to treat. Lots of the advice around it feels very antiquated to me. And when I encounter a person who is obviously struggling, I kind of want to cry. I hope this video is of some comfort and some relief. I do not have all the answers. Pick and choose what works for you. My heart is in this one. ps. If you didn't make it to the end of video announcement, I will be taking some time off for personal reasons in the coming weeks. So this will be the last video for a few weeks. However I WILL be back and I will be more annoying than ever. If you really, really miss me in the meantime, I will still be on RU-vid over on my podcast channel 😉 (Heads up, the podcast can be much more R rated in moments. Mostly we talk about career, family and boyfriends, but also sex and other non-child friendly topics. So just a heads up that it IS a different experience from my main channel). ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--cYwcrn3kF8.htmlsi=ybqyLGJ11FWkB11B Happy Holidays, y'all. Be safe ❤
Caroline ~ You are always so brave & open with serious topics you bring to the forefront of your channel! And while this topic isn't something that I have dealt with - I'm here for it to learn more, and, to get to know you better. Enjoy your time off during the remainder of the 2023 holiday season 🌲🎁 ❄️ - I hope it's a wonderful time. Hugs from Southern California, Michelle 🥰
Something I personally needed to learn was that hunger doesn’t always feel like “hunger”… sometimes it feels like being abnormally irritated or stressed or tired. 😅
Very much agree. Years of starving and bingeing changed my personality. I just thought I turned into a bitch. Turned out the bitch was hungry. I'm chill.
For me it's been the other way around. I had to learn that not everything is hunger, that sometimes I need to look at my feelings for what they are and not just comfort eat.
“Casually disordered” is a great phrase. I have disordered thinking around food, but not to the extent of an actual disorder. I really wish I could reduce my sugar intake, and increase my veggies.
I started pre-shredding my salad veggies for the week so that it's always the fastest meal I can make when I open the fridge. I also started pre-mixing my salad a few hours from when I'm hungry so that when I do get hungry I dont fall into the trap of what I yearn for. I use eel sauce (sparingly) for the dressing because I love it on sushi, so it makes everything taste just a little bit sweet and makes it more yummy. Hope some of these tips helped.
I am almost 43 and have been dealing with this for over 30 years. Imagine all the other things I could have accomplished if this didn't take up so much space in my brain.
I’m 27 and have been dealing with this for 12 years and I have the same exact thought, but we still need to be so proud of ourselves for fighting back every day too ❤️ that makes us stronger than most too which I think is an accomplishment!
@brbridingmyhorse same! I'm going to be 46, dealing with all this for 25+ years. Wish I had a Caroline back then, instead of the string of therapists who had no idea how to deal with food issues!
THANK YOU FOR ADRESSING THE DON'T EAT IN THE EVENING/BIG DINNERS SCOLDS I can't get my Mom to stop telling me this and sending me articles and and I'm like you don't understand that part of my hard-won system for being normal with food is by just giving myself what I have always wanted most which is a goddamn late night snack lol
YES!! It drives me crazy how people insist that ideas like this are THE ONLY way to go. Like yes, there may be some science behind why it CAN be a good idea, but that does NOT mean 100% of people all the time will do way better following that particular way of eating.
Everyone has different ideas about what's healthy. Some people definitely do recommend eating light to heavy through the day to keep digestion running smoothly and create no "traffic jams," digestively speaking, by eating a lot first thing.
Yes and ethnocentric because go to other countries and people have so many different times and styles of eating. So do what you want! The one right way is the way that's right for you and only you get to decide.
Some countries eat very late in the day like France. They have less obesity than in the US. For some of us, it makes more sense to eat meals later in the day especially if we go to bed late.
Such an important message! My youngest son (31 now) does not have an eating disorder, however he does struggle with other mental health challenges. About 4 years ago he said the most profound thing to me. He said, "Mom you have no idea how hard it is to fight your mind everyday." So heartbreaking! Thank you for sharing this struggle and being so honest. You are inspiring others to keep fighting. Enjoy your time off!
I lost my husband a year ago, the day after Xmas & he had severe bipolar. He often said he was exhausted from constantly fighting his own mind each & every day. 😢
Omg,I do understand you!!! My son is 32, he has had OCD since he was 15, and he told me once that he had a "battle" that he had to fight,inside his head,every single day.... 😢
💞 I’m 74 and I didn’t get to the place you talk about until I was 65. The relief is enormous and the journey is harder than anyone can imagine. In terms of loveability….i put my photo into one of those apps that change your age. When I saw myself as a 6 year old and as a 14 year old I felt love for myself for the first time and felt such acceptance of myself and my past life. When my photos pop up now I think “oh there she is…” 💞💞💞
Declaring “I’m not a professional of LITTERALLY OF ANY KIND. THERE IS LITTERALLY NOTHING I’M A PROFESSIONAL AT” with ever increasing volume is the best kind of disclaimer around
YES. Thank you, I think the message is 100% that you aren’t allowed to care about how you look after you have an ED. God, the way people look at me when I care about how I look because I used to have an ED. I’m recovered y’all. I just want to feel like I look like “me”. This was one of the most realistic videos I’ve ever seen on eating disorder recovery. I consider myself fully recovered from my ED (I’m almost 25, diagnosed around 15, so 10 years) and this is exactly what I would say helped me as well.
Binging is also an ED, so maybe you should be more specific because people who do have a binging problem do need foods that are off limits and learn to eat less.
@@lainiwakura1776 I’m a little confused as to how this relates to anything I said. I didn’t say anything about how much I do or don’t eat, or how much other people should or shouldn’t eat. No hostility, just a little confused.
I’ve always trusted you And as someone who’s come through it…you dealt with this subject so beautifully It was just right 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Please enjoy your time off We appreciate you too
I think of all the things that one can obsess over, food (and the eating of it) must be one of the most difficult, because you have to eat to SURVIVE for goodness sakes. I like how you shared your story while stressing the fact that this is what you found works for you, and it may not work for everyone. Thank you for sharing. 😊❤😊
You described me to a T. I started keto for medical reasons (recommended by my doctor) and it did wonders for my medical condition, but all the restriction gave me an eating disorder. During the 5 years I was keto, it somehow spiraled to me eating 1200 calories a day and obsessing over food. I planned vacations around food, I lost friendships, it almost ruined my relationship with my boyfriend. It took me a long time to realize that when it came to my overall health, the keto diet was doing more harm than good. Sure, it alleviated my medical symptoms, but it gave me a slew of disordered eating symptoms I never had before. So I stopped January of this year. It’s been a full year and I’m still learning to trust my hunger signals and not feel guilty about “unbalanced” days. Looking back, I’m in a much better place now than I was a year ago. My medical issue is still under control, even though I eat desserts and bread now. I learned that a balanced life is medicine too, and that has been so freeing. ❤️
I feel you SO hard on this and have experienced the EXACT same thing-- thanks for sharing. I've been trapped on the low carb/keto/no sugar boat for years to manage medical and mental conditions. Its difficult , because it really does improve my conditions quite a lot....but it's exhausting to maintain, and the restriction and constant social friction wore me down and triggered big time binging. So in the end, its an unrealistic/unsustainable approach for me and ended up sending my health backwards dramatically from the binging. Now I'm working on finding that balance of choosing the foods that make my body feel the best, while also including food that brings joy -- recognising that nourishing emotional and social needs are just as important.
@@CG-lf8st I’m so glad I’m not alone in this!! You never realize all the factors that play into your health (like being able to eat all food groups, going out to dinner with friends without worrying about foods you can eat, etc) until you drastically restrict things. I have so much appreciation now for getting to indulge every now and then, and for listening to my body and being able to give it what it needs AND wants. Because you’re right, nourishing the body, mind and soul are all equally important.
Another person who had this exact same experience! Went on an insanely restrictive diet due to my health and whilst it alleviated some of the symptoms of the condition, it just created other ones. I have only just realised how restricting my carb intake so much was the reason I was experiencing insomnia. - my body couldn't relax because it was stressed due to starvation. I think these diets may be good short term but they are not a long-term solution. I started brain retraining and that has helped with my condition a lot more than diets and medicines ever did.
It's funny because I found keto/low carb to be freeing. Low gylcemic index food and fiber made it easier for me to not think about food. Sure I had to find substitutes for items, but taking it slow and finding what works for me, made sticking with this long term easy. I don't love the social pressure to eat junk, or being told "you don't need to worry if you gain weight, you're so thin", by obese people who are diabetic or prediabetic. People can definitely have distorted ideas of what is healthy on both sides. When I was stable at 5 or 10 lb overweight for around 20 years, I slowly felt thinner as the obesity epidemic around me got worse as the years progressed, "I also hated being told when I was overweight that I was thin and didn't need to care about my health more". Now that I am in the healthy weight range my family looks at me like I am going to get to be too thin, even though I haven't lost anymore weight in years and have been maintaining a healthy weight all be it on the lower end for my height for 7 years. I do think substitute items are easier to find these days, recipes are getting better as more people share what they like, and it helps if you can be in ketosis at a higher carb count or are willing to eat lower carb under around 100 carbs per day. Sorry it made you feel like you were lacking. I will never go back to eating sugar junk, chips or crackers, those things make me feel like crap. If I wasn't asking for sugar free almond milk and insisting on having mashed turnips instead of potatoes, or bringing my own bread and turning down dessert most people wouldn't realize looking at what I eat that I was eating low carb, I guess I am willing to defined this way of eating, I know it is not for everyone, but seeing the sick people around me makes me sad. Just this week my diabetic brother-in-law had his feet amputated.
Thank you so much, Caroline, for opening up on this very private topic. Your video provides hope to recover and get back to a healthy, self-appreciative, self-caring way of thinking and eating. All the best from Vienna, Austria
I downloaded this because I've never felt so seen or understood 🙌 im going to listen to it when i feel alone or unlovable or misunderstood ❤ thank you friend
I don’t comment often on videos, but I got emotional watching this one. After almost 10+ years, I’ve also reached a comfortable point in my life where I’m finally happy with my progress on food obsession. In my culture, food is the pinnacle of connection. And commenting on physical appearance and weight was as common as saying how are you? Every point here you said resonated with me and things I came to realize myself. This video is very real and very thoughtfully planned out. It’s such a hard topic to discuss on the internet with strangers now putting you under a microscope. Thank you for your bravery ❤
If you don't have restrictive issues with food, none of this applies to you. Obese people have different issues and need to have off limit foods and learn portion control.
@@lainiwakura1776she wasn’t just talking about restricting she was also talking about binging and general obsessive thoughts about food. Caroline would never want to alienate someone like this.
@@lainiwakura1776 What a rude comment. Actually the video has a lot to do with all sorts of obsessions around food. Obese people do not have to have off limit foods, that creates obsession around these foods just as Caroline talks about in the video. Whether you're obese or not it's always best to strive for a balanced, long-term way of eating rather than crash diets.
This video helped me. I won't get into my story but this did help. I hope you are doing okay and have a wonderful holiday and new year. I hope 2024 is kind to ALL of us. We need it. 💖
I’ve been going through some of your videos. This channel is so diverse, down to earth, and… deep. I like the way you wrestle with logic and your thought process on the camera for us. Hoping good things for you! Please stay authentic and genuine😊.
My family has always called me fat, despite the fact that I've been a healthy size 4 to size 8 at the height of 5'8" all my life. Most of them are bigger than me, so I really can't explain why they've focused this negative energy on me. At 21, I also got into a relationship with a man who would call me fat and disgusting while I was a size 6...presumably because it was all I knew at home, so I thought this kind of verbal abuse was normal. When I met his family, it made more sense because his mother and sister looked like they were on the brink of death, were super obsessed with nutrition, and the sister even had to be hospitalized for an eating disorder (but none of these expectations applied to the men in the family, they were allowed to eat trash and be fat). All of this in my formative years caused me to be so obsessed with food. I'm always thinking about it lol, and I'm always feeling guilty when I eat it, even when it's meal time. I hope I can stop, but it's a lifelong habit.
It takes time to recover from family and partner abuse like that. Every time you eat, you hear them in your head even if you don’t care what they think anymore because you’ve been conditioned. I’ve been there, took me about 4-5 years to say I TURLY don’t think about it anymore. I am and have always been small myself, but if I gained like 3-5 pounds of weight that I SHOULD HAVE HAD my ex would straight up threaten to break up with me. I finally just said “ok go” and kicked his ass out. I spiraled after that for a little bit l, but knew what I wanted. I just got fed up with counting calories and being obsessed with food, I was tired. The final nail was a _male_ friend of mine saying “hey you look seriously good. Really healthy” after a few months of eating without analyzing the nutrition facts and I was like … hey, yeah I really do! I was always getting compliments on my body when I was starving myself, but he was the first person to notice that I wasn’t doing it anymore and say something. He and I have since talked about it and he said he knew the whole time and just wanted to encourage me to be healthy without being overbearing 😭😭. He was perfect. I am forever grateful to him. I have heard from many other people who’ve experienced this for whatever reason that they’ve all had kind of had an ah-ha moment like that. Many have told me that it was when they realized that they weren’t caring about food while they were traveling. One of the girls in my support group said it was when her mom told her to stop eating so much at a table FULL of their extended family and she shoved all of her food in her mouth and said “ I refuse to continue to starve myself for your approval” and her cousins all clapped 🥹. It’s different for everyone, but you will get there if you stick it out. It’s a lot like kicking an addiction. Eventually you just stop thinking about it all the time. ❤ Sending lots of love! 🫂
This is so fucked, I'm so sorry you were abused and that it took this fucked up form. As someone with a lifelong eating disorder, i cannot FATHOM ever treating another human that way. In the end, its not about those peoples disordered eating--they were just abusers and their abuse just took a certain form that stemmed from diet culture and size prejudice. Family therapy has taught me that often in abusive family dynamics, they pick a 'scapegoat' to focus negative energy on. Sounds like you were the family scapegoat, and 'fat' was in their minds a terrible thing and therefore something to hurt you with. It's crazy how 'fat' becomes a feeling we associate with failure, gluttony, laziness, ugliness etc etc etc. When in truth, its just a state of being with no inherent moral status....meanwhile society acribing prejudice to peoples bodies is the true moral failure.
I had to leave my family for a while to recover. The only voice in your head should be yours and it should only be telling you good things about yourself.
@ravenswood I'm so sorry you are going through this. Any time you hear your abusers (aka "family") judging you let our voices drown out theirs with all of our love and support, you are BEAUTIFUL, you are WONDERFUL you are WORTHY and we love you. ❤️❤️❤️
Sending love and support to you. And to the others on this feed who didn't say their story, including myself. Even the people in that man's gamily and yours are ill and were made to be ill by some kind of abusive messaging or circumstances. You have somehow lifted your head above the muck that they are still consuming. I hope you are able to love yourself all the way out of the quagmire.
I found this video at the perfect time for me. With all the talk about Ozempic, people kept saying that the "food chatter stopped." After repeatedly hearing this phrase, I finally realized that I spend A LOT of time planning what I will eat, might eat, should eat etc. I asked my husband to take over half the cooking and he happily plans the same meals every week--who does that? Not me. I thought he was just lazy but I don't think he thinks about food very much(!). We started using a meal kit delivery and it was weirdly freeing because I thought about my meals once, and then it just showed up. I don't want to keep doing the meal kits but I have been wondering about just choosing two weeks of meals and rotating them to eliminate all the thought that goes into it. Still thinking this through.
My mom is a nutritionist and as a result, she can sometimes tend to lean into the "inflammatory foods" debate that ultimately means cutting out a lot of foods that bring joy, are easy to access, and are on every damn menu whether it be a health food store or greasy spoon. I am in the midst of an elimination diet and as much as I do feel better not relying on breads, simple carbs, sugars, and raw dairy, it has been emotionally a really strange time for me. Physically I feel optimal, but my emotions with food are still there. I am still figuring out balance and by the end of this elimination protocol I am hoping that I can have a more balanced outlook and not assign morals to food, but when you are trying to figure out what makes you feel like shit physically but whole emotionally, it can become so confusing and full of shame. How we got this way with food is beyond me, but I hope I can find peace soon.
i feel you 100000000 percent on this. Hard to find the balance and compromise between emotional food needs and physical needs especially when they conflict and you have a health condition to manage. I find it helps to remind myself that balance isn't about being perfect and following one ideal rigid routine all the time, because that's impossible since our needs DO conflict and each need deserves (and demands) to be honoured. I think of balance more as a flexible prioritising of the biggest needs and priorities at the time, knowing we cant meet them all at once. Maybe its okay to lean a little more into emotional food needs at times and othertimes recongising your body is calling out for some prioritising of physical food needs? And over time, maybe what you get is a good overall trend. Just some thoughts I've been perculating over time.
@@user-ql6xb7eq4k lol i was just about to recommend trying out some vegan alternatives to dairy products 😂 not cheese, vegan cheese is pretty mid most of the time, but there is vegan coffee creamer and vegan creamy deserts for example (in theory, don't know if these are available to you). vegan dairy alternatives usually don't have the same risk of inflammation als real dairy products. my other tip would be just to combine very healthy, high fiber and nutritious foods with low nutrition simple carb stuff. eg if you put a lot of greens or some veg on a simple toasty toast sandwich, it will make it more digestable and leave your bloodsugar levels more stable. same with pasta: if your sauce has a lot of veggies or legumes in it, you won't ruin your health just bc the pasta isn't whole grain. even eating a bit of fruit together with sweets will make the sweets more digestible and less confusing for your bloodsugar regulation. don't cut out foods you like 🙂
Bloody hell girl, this is AMAZING! I've never considered that 1. I'm allowed to have a body preference, but also that b. my fight to get to my body preference is what's causing all these internal struggles. I need to go and ruminate on this...I can feel my brain resetting itself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Have a good break!
This is my first comment ever. This was so beautifully and thoughtfully done, Caroline. I'm glad you're here, sharing your realness with all of us. I think I speak for everyone when I say we really appreciate you. Happy holidays ❤
There's actually scientific data that once you USE willpower to make a decision, you lessen the amount you have left (until it recharges). That is so FUCKING SPOT ON and was the #1 thing that helped me - tracking my willpower. I chanced upon that random scientific article and I've never heard anyone else talk about willpower being finite until now. You're so badass. Thank you for being vulnerable for the sake of speaking to that person (or people) who need it. I hope you enjoy the break and have a happy holiday ♥🎄
I cannot thank you enough for this video. Seriously. I'm one of the lucky people who never had to deal with an eating disorder...ever. BUT! I was recently diagnosed as pre-diabetic and my relationship with food was instantly changed. I'm now having to learn an entirely new way of eating and it hasn't always been easy. Granted, it is definitely not as difficult as what those with genuine disorders have to go through, but it is my version of thrust into the "eating challenged" world. My doctor and I are working on getting me past this/through this without medication and it is working brilliantly. BUT! (there's that but again) I'm now thinking about food far more often and was obsessing about what I could no longer eat (unless I wanted to take drugs with potentially bad side effects, and I'd rather avoid bad side effects. Mine always suck). I'm learning new foods to love....but now I'm dealing with "holiday" foods and families who just do not eat healthfully. Your info is invaluable to me. Thank you. It's giving me better ideas on how to manage my new "food world". Thank you. On behalf of those like me who are new to this, THANK YOU. 💖
I hope you dont mind if i share a few thoughts as a really sympathise with your situation! I know my comment is just going to be the opinion of a random fkn youtube commenter, but I've had 15+ years of eating disorders and loads of therapy...so take/discard whatever from here for whatever my opinion is worth :) A lot of people develope disordered eating or eating disorders as a result of being told to loose weight or follow a diet by their doctors, can you believe! Countless studies show that dieting is the number 1 risk factor for developing eds/ disordered eating, yet the medical model still continues to push dieting as the solution. The fact you're here on this video seeing this approach is such a saving grace, when the internet and the medical model are both full of absolutely terrible advice. You might find the 'intuitive eating' model helpful in your journey... it's what a lot of the most highly trained eating disorder specialists take their clients through. No foods off limit, no hard restrictions. Just learning overtime to make food choices in balance with your body and social/emotional needs without obsessing and stress. Other green flags are working with dieticians and practitioners who follow a 'weight-neutral' approach, a 'non-diet' approach, or follow the 'HAES' approach (health at every size). I'm not dissing your doctor or saying not to work with them, just simply passing on a bit of info/pitfalls/helpful hints to be mindful of that I've personally learned walking a similar path. Good luck!!!
@@lilagood1963 The one reassurance I can give you is that it does become simpler with time, not necessarily easier, but simpler. I now tell people I'm diabetic and don't want my legs amputated (which happened to my aunt) when they get toooooooo insistent that I try a particular dish that is just loaded with sugar because "holidays!" (cue demented "happiness grin" here) That will stop some of them in their tracks. The more maniacal will never stop. I just walk away from them now. And yes, I know I'm not actually diabetic yet, I'm still on that first rung of a ladder I do NOT want to climb. So...simple. I'm diabetic. ANYway, Caroline's video gave me a new perspective and several ideas that I'm still fleshing out. All the best to you Lilagood1963 on your journey.
Suggestion to the video editor: could you consider making fewer fast-cuts? You’re cutting every THREE SECONDS. It is very hard to watch. I actually had to stop watching because it was so distracting and caused so much tension.
Hey Caroline! I don't know how to ask this, but I have been struggling with a serious mental health condition for the past 15 years (since I was 12y). I am finally stable and medicated, but this condition left me with hording disorder and lots of unfinished things. Can you make a video with tips on how to decorate/organize for people starting over? I feel like I am finally discovering who I am. I would love to have a guiding hand through this journey, and it will be helpful for my family too. we are trying to cut the circle of trauma. Thank you for all your work, I can't possibly thank you enough for the help and comfort listening to you provide me. Have a blessed day. 🙏❤❤❤
Your "what I eat in a day" video was actually how I found you. But I actually love all your videos so much that even if I don't give a fig about interior design, I end up laughing and watching the whole video. I think it's because I love your honesty and genuineness (Is that a word?) and feel like your a friend of mine even if you don't know me. This video is definitely something I needed to hear. I have a 3 year old daughter now, and know that she sees everything I do and I don't want her to have to obsess about food or her body in the way I have ever since I was 13. Thank you for your honesty and for putting yourself out there, I really needed this video today.
This was probably a really hard video to make and I hope the comment section stays in line.😂 Thanks for continuing to say vulnerable things and say the things going unsaid. I related to a lot of the obsessive eating stuff and appreciate you sharing. Love you lots!❤
How deeply intelligent, balanced and grown up! I don’t have an ED but I have lost lbs45 and maintained that loss for over a year effortlessly. But I’ve started to put back a little of weight and I am a bit scared of food at the moment. This was so useful and resonated deeply. Take care. You are precious.
A couple of years ago I had a friend who mentioned her Intuitive Eating book. and of course, being a DUDE I eye roll. Cut to last month and me discovering your tube. You made an off hand comment about Intuitive Eating in one of your vlogs and it jogged the memory! I've been struggling with how i handle food and my body - donuts and steak cause of course being a DUDE. Went out and bought the book and it's been wonderful. I've had several partners and a mother who all had ED and it is REAL and I'm proud of them for talking about it and working it out. OK I have a feeling that is what this video will be about but I will watch it now. THANK YOU for sharing this! Excited!
Caroline!! **deep breath as I try not to get too choked up** Thank you for your candor and your willingness to be vulnerable. This is an incredibly powerful video. I, too, have been on a long journey of navigating the landmine field that is healing from a disordered way of eating to a more realistic way of eating. Now that I’m in my thirties there seems to have been some monumental shift in my mindset. Thank you for so many of the videos you create for us. Your video about falling in love with working out, changed my life. I have finally found a type of exercise that brings true joy and I get excited to go do. I never thought it would be possible for me. Your what I eat in a day video, so impactful. How to have a summer before it’s over, the perfectionist video, lazy guide to working out…seriously, thank you for the thought, time and effort you put into your videos. I have also done years and years of work, therapy, reading, intuitive eating etc to finally be at a place where my body, my food choices and my exercise don’t consume all of my thoughts all of the time. I know each of us makes the decision and continues the effort to make lasting change in our lives. However, I would be remiss to not acknowledge how much your videos have helped me along that path. Thank you for being willing to be honest. Thank you for being willing to make difficult videos. You validate and give hope as you share your experience, and remind so many of us that we’re not alone. Though we have never met, you have left a permanent mark on my life, and for that I am forever grateful to you. ❤️Kate
hi i just wanted to inform you, i was unsubscribed from your channel and i have not seen the last six uploads by you. I hope this is not happening to more ppl. fyi.
As a fellow anorexic and binge eater of 15 years your advice has been really helpful. It's perhaps the most I've related to someone talking about recovery on RU-vid before. What works for me might not work for someone else and that's ok. We don't need to fit into the same neat little box. Recovery has felt overwhelmingly impossible sometimes but this video has made it feel attainable again. Thank you for making this. It was well thought through, super insightful and full of solutions. Thanks Caroline!
Girl, 1. I’m proud of you woman to woman. 2. You hit the vanity thing right on the head. I know so many large women who are eating fairly healthy and active every day, but because they are bigger they are automatically unhealthy. But just not true, and Vice versa, we shouldn’t assume that thin people are healthy. What is health? Is it a size or a lifestyle, or practice etc?
Like most women, I’ve struggled with my relationship with food and my body. Being a teenaged girl in the 90’s was *rough*. So many of my friends were hospitalized due to their ED’s. I felt so powerless. I had no idea how to support them or help them but I did do my best to simply listen to them when they wanted to talk about it. I did notice that everyone around them had *opinions* on what they should and shouldnt do and a lot of people wanted them to never talk about it. And that broke my heart. I never developed an ED but I certainly had bouts of very disordered eating/exercise habits. I resonated with every damn thing you said. It really is very very personal. I, too, when finally saying “enough is enough”, went the route of making the decision to not deny myself anything I wanted. Something about scarcity makes our brains go haywire. I ensured I always had my comfort food of choice in the house at all times and I gave myself permission to eat it whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted. But yes, i did also make sure I ate at least SOMETHING nutritionally dense that day or else I’d feel like crap and that is always, for me, a recipe for disaster. And for me, not hiding it was key. Eating it in front of anyone and everyone unapologetically. It took me about a year as well to finally feel safe or satiated or whatever it was that went on in my subconscious. Now I totally forget to buy that food sometimes. Weeks can go by and I haven’t even thought about it. And often it sits there in the pantry for a week or more before I have some and I am satisfied after just a bit of it. That felt like a f’ing *miracle* to me. I would never have believed that would be the case. I thought I’d be a slave to those cravings forever. It had such a hold on my psyche and my emotions. I really appreciated you saying that it’s ok for us to care how we look, but that you won’t let that caring tip over into being unhealthy in any metric. I have arrived there as well. Being healthy and having my body be in a state that feels good to me is important but I know I have to be in charge of myself and accept that I also have to be mindful of how I go about achieving/maintaining that. I would urge people to also be very careful and selective about where they get their information about nutrition/diet/exercise. There are a lot more good quality, research based experts available to us now (which I certainly did not have when I was younger) but a lot of it is actually geared towards elite or very serious amateur athletes. And male athletes at that. They will often relay information or advice that is geared towards highly competitive people and it’s not advisable for people with disordered habits or proclivities to go that hard or be that strict. I highly recommend Natacha Ocean for anyone who wants good quality research based information about all things fitness and nutrition and health. She also has a history with disordered eating and is very gentle and compassionate and is just maybe the sweetest person on the internet. She has been an invaluable resource to me in all things intuitive eating while accomplishing fitness goals. And yesssss !!! That Hannibal quote !!! Maybe the greatest bit of wisdom I’ve ever gotten from a movie ever lol. Thank you for all of this, Caroline. I hope your time off refreshes you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ❤
Literally how. How did you know ?? 😭😭 I’m 36 and yesterday, after being painfully aware of my body since first grade, being diagnosed with pcos in 2017, to gaining 90 lbs but mentally feeling terrified of food….I officially closed the damn door on diet culture!!! IM FREE!!! What a relief. Your video couldn’t be more timely for my life right now. Thank you for speaking so gently about this. You’re such a bright light. Thank you 🙏🏻❤
Thank you for this! 💜I'm in the process of recovery from an ED and I needed this today. Just listening to someone talking about how hard it can get, to just eat, helped me immensely. There is so much info everywhere about how to diet or lose weight, but nobody is talking about the other side of the spectrum. How hard it is not enjoying a thing that is pure pleasure for the majority of the people around you. The way you talk and think about a lot of topics is very inspiring to me, but today you gave me strength to keep going the hard but right direction.
I’m so happy to see and hear how healthy you are today. This vlog helped me to realize how much I take for granted a kind of health I don’t typically practice gratitude for and that you have clearly so painstakingly and brilliantly dug yourself out of a deep hole to achieve. I hear how difficult the topic is for you; what a gift you’ve given to those struggling with this. For all who are suffering in this way, I send love and healing thoughts and energy your way.
Makes me a little emotional to see someone talking so honestly and empathetically about this. Overeating and obsession with food has caused me so much shame and guilt, and cost me a lot of money, too, which adds to the stress, which makes me cave even more. It's been eating at my conscience ever since I moved out five years ago. I won't even say that I'll guarantee I can find something useful for myself from this video, or that I'm renewed in a sense of inspiration to get better; I am just so happy that you found a path out of it. Love ❤
I have had weird food restrictions for a long time, for various reasons, and I had never considered the amount of my mental energy this might have been using up, nor that, as each restriction was piled onto the previous ones, this may have become a sort of food obsession. A lot of the other ideas you presented I am already familiar with but these two are possibly a key to a little more freedom and self-trust, as well as a little more sensual food enjoyment!😊 Sometimes you just need to hear some different thoughts from a [video] buddy to give yourself permission to try a different mindset that you were trying to move towards anyway. Thank you for shining some light on this stuff. Have a wonderful break and we'll see you when we see you!
Caroline! I have been watching your channel for a while now (as well as listening to the podcast). I tend to be a real lurker on the internet and never really comment on anything so this is quite the rare occurrence for me. However, I feel compelled to say that I just adore you. I know I don't really know you in any way other than this funny parasocial relationship, but you occur as such a genuine and honest person, so creative and I really love your inclination to think deeply about life, relationships, one's self, etc. I am from Salisbury, MD and have often felt a kinship with you being from near that area (as well as that we just seem very similar tbh). I feel we would be fast friends (who never text, my favorite kind of friend). Anyway, I am also a therapist and I have worked largely with eating disorders for the past few years so I also just want to acknowledge that all the work you have put into your healing and change process over the years is no small feat. This shit is really hard and I am grateful you have put in the time and am grateful that you are here. I don't know if you'll see this, but I find you so very lovable.
The alternative you offered to dieting was actually super helpful and very balanced in its approach. I can see that being way more effective in my life than jumping into an extreme solution as a 'quick fix'. Thanks for putting that together and sharing with us. Great video Caroline!
Im obese so i consider my relationship with food to be problematic. But also i have issues with money and im usually some leve lof paranoid about job loss. I grew up with financial insecurity and addiction in my family so things like grocery shopping, gardening, cooking, restaurants were all weird in my family. All this to say that i often consider food as currency. If i have a little extra i will invest in food. Invested food is usually shelf stable but crap. Processed carbs etc like beans, pancake mix etc, peanut butter. Having food in my house is a security measure even if i dont obsess about eating it. I have enough food that if i need to skip to spend on something else i can rely on my stocks. But im terrified of running out of things. I also get all my stuff delivered. It is super helpful but i keep a running list in my phone. I think the key to unlocking my issues with food is getting to the place where i dont have to worry about providing for myself.
I loooove the focus and explanation on willpower. It’s so key here! I Since having a baby and having no sleep and working 10.5 hour days, I wayyyyy overeat and binge. Sleep really helps a lot for will power. Also, you strike me as someone who is a little ADHD - I recognize that because of how I am -just a little impulsive. It is a little bit harder to focus and have will power and not just jump up and grab whatever is in front of me.
I understand that it's hard to talk about something so personal on the internet. I just want to say that I really appreciate this video. You addressed this topic before in a video and it made me realize that I have been obsessing over food. For years I had no awareness about it, but because of your videos I got aware. I was eating dinner, while watching this video. Normally I would just stop eating, when I finished my plate, even though I'm still hungry. Today I decided to not just stop there and eat more. I needed the awareness
I don’t comment on videos often but felt the need to praise this video. I personally have never struggled with disordered eating but struggle with obsessive thoughts in other ways and this video was very helpful for anybody that struggles with obsessions. I love the part of trusting, that one hit the hardest and is what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much ❤
I just want to say, thank you. I have always had a problem with obsessing what I eat. As an avid runner, I think the sheer amount of calories I eat makes it easier to not think about it because I knew I just burned a lot of calories. But, about a year ago I got injured and couldn’t run at all. I was constantly thinking about food and how much I could or could not eat because I wasn’t “burning it off”. Thankfully, I’ve been able to slowly shift away from that and actually eat when I’m hungry. This just reminds me that it’s normal to be hungry and ok to eat when you are. So thanks:)
Pregnancy has helped my relationship with food and eating a lot. Oddly enough. Sure I have a hard time seeing my bodily changes that aren’t always the most aesthetic (and happen very fast) but I was at a better place when I got pregnant and then it kinda pushed me to finish the work. It’s a long journey, be patient with yourself!
Its refreshing to hear someone talk about this since its like you're not allowed to. So much of what you said 100% is me as well. I never knew I had a food obsession until the last few years - I thought everyone was like me and I just couldn't get the willpower to not gain weight. Im working on it too, but im in a much better space about it now than I have been before. I try to eat responsibly but still indulge here and there and not feel like im getting fat again from it because I balance out the rest of my week like you. Like you, its just taken me a lot of time and a lot of learning to build my willpower muscle . Its so much harder than other "normal" people realize. I was absolutely addicted to food and it was my only coping mechanism for most of my life. Its no way to live.
It is really hard. Do I have some alcoholic beverages and eat the baked goods and more and not feel gross and like all the hard work and progress of tightening muscles and weight loss has just been wasted.. I feel you and understand so much of what you said. And i've never had a disord but the obsession I suppose is a disorder of mentality, stressing twenty 4-7 of thinking of what you're eating and drinking. I just thought it was normal on. Apparently it might not be thank you for this talk
Enjoy your time off Caroline! Will miss you but look forward to new videos in the new year, they are such a delight. Wishing you very best wishes for 2024❤
This hits me hard. I love how you admitted that you’re not a professional in all things and how you felt unlovable, because it echoes how I feel with myself. Thanks for being vulnerable and putting things into words that I couldn’t.
Great video! I grew up in the era of the ectomorph female body type and literally wished I could have "real" anorexia so I could be thinner, so I get it. Spent a long time feeling ashamed of my body after having kids, but now in my sixties, I'm finally feeling really positive about my relationship with my body and appreciating it. I wish I could have told my younger self not to waste all that energy on obsessing over not eating just to feel acceptable.
Hi! Thanks for being here! 🍏 Oxford Environmental Study Says: Be Vegan All smart people are vegan. Here is why: 1. 🔴 The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) published a report in 2006 titled "Livestock's Long Shadow," which concluded that the livestock industry is one of the most significant contributors to environmental problems, including climate change, deforestation, and water pollution. 2. 🟢 A 2018 study published in the journal Science found that if the world's population shifted to a plant-based diet, it could reduce greenhouse gas emissions by up to 70% and free up land equivalent to the size of the United States, China, Australia, and the European Union combined. 3. 🔵 A study published in 2018 by researchers at Oxford University found that adopting a vegan diet could reduce an individual's carbon footprint by up to 73%. 4. 🟡 The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) recognizes the impact of animal agriculture on climate change. In their 2019 report, they emphasized the importance of shifting towards more vegan diets to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. These are just a few examples of the many scientific studies and reports that have demonstrated the environmental benefits of a vegan diet.
Caroline, thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience on this topic. Your honesty and willingness make a difference out here for us. I never hear anything in public discourse that makes sense about eating disorders. As a 40-year survivor of anorexia and bulimia, I find that for me, all that matters is not obsessing-- but it is so hard to convey that concept to people who don't have this issue. If I don't obsess, I don't binge. Period. If I don't obsess, I don't starve myself. Period. There is massive public pressure that says: "Don't let yourself do what comes naturally, because if you do, you will overeat or have too much sex or steal or lie or kill people. It is this voice that says, "There is something broken in you, and you cannot trust yourself." It is shocking how much subtle pressure there is TO obsess. It has taken many years for me to learn that I am not broken and I will not eat everything in the world if I have a Sonic Blast. But it is finally clear: if I don't I obsess, I don't eat crazily. 🎉❤😊 Thank you again!
You mentioned purging your social media and following people with your body type in a different video, and that helped with my body image issues sooooo much. Thank you, I never would have considered that on my own. ♥
I think she is of the skin tone classified as “a winter.” It’s a hard color to pull off and typically the “winter” color palette is the one to pull it off.
Great video, I hope it reaches those you hope it will help. Tangent: video request: short people things and tall people things *as it relates to interior decorating*. I think you could pull this idea off, truly. I’m short, my husband is tall, we never agree on where/how to hang or place things. Halp.
We sometimes have to remember that actually most of us don't "really" obsess over food. What we obsess over is not being able to follow ridiculous diets that eliminate entire food groups and types of foods that have been enjoyed and eaten for centuries. The problem is not that we're bad at following these diets. The problem is that through media for decades, we have come to a belief that only thin bodies are healthy, that weight is a function of characterological control, rather than biological programming. And it's all untrue. Fat people do not really eat more than thin people, and fat people have a LOWER fatality rate for diseases like stroke and diabetes than thin people do. Love your body. You get one. Enjoy the ride inside your vehicle.
another suggestion here you need to not let your phone invade your privacy women have this problem they let that phone decide things this causes digressions with mental comprehension the phone is why women they forget how to love
The obsessions over " food ", is your body telling you are " hungry ", meaning, most people are lacking nutrition. Not getting enough , protein ( pea protein powder does NOT count ), most of us are lacking minerals , track minerals . You are not weak. Most people are addicted to sugars , even fake ones and sugars come in different forms .
You compiled together, all that I tried to get from books & they failed 😞and you didn’t 😊 . I hope people listen to you, you are a fantastic inspiration to people. I hope you rest, enjoy your time off & thank you for this year 🙏🏻, love you & see you at some point in 2024, happy holidays 🇬🇧❤️xx
What I mean is I ask Dr to put me on a diet, but they look at me and don't say a thing and don't put me on any diet plan. I don't get it? Why Dr doesn't. I'm over weight.😮
I’m so glad you made this video. I’m 53 now, but also suffered with an eating disorder through high school and college. It was such a very difficult thing to live with and recover from. I had no one. I hid it, tried to quietly get help, it was a very lonely painful existence. You are spot on in so many suggestions and points you made. I had to learn what worked for me as well in order to recover. It is a long road and keep being proud of yourself and trusting yourself, you will need to keep relying on those good instincts and strength you have built. Especially as your body changes throughout your life, pregnancy (s), menopause etc etc. You are doing great. We evolve all throughout life and you have the skills to thrive. I love that you are talking about it, it is brave and I appreciate the connection and felt validated. Thank you.
