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@@hughb2515 Same with my ex in laws. They had the wrong idea about networking. My ex's parents got mad at him for buying a brand new car battery for his car. Instead of buying off a friend of a cousin''s USED battery. This was not the only example. His mom had a right royal tear about the oldest son not using the services of a younger brother of my ex to lay carpet in the house. There is many other stories about the crap that went on with the family.
Before I sold my 72 year old house I had an electrician go over the whole house and bring everything up to code. It didn’t take that long or cost an unreasonable amount. If entititled people move in they don’t move out. It would be a bargain to just pay a professional.
Heres an idea op, if ur moms soooo concerned about ur older brother losing his house and needs a place to stay why dont SHE let them move in with her!!! Ur better off just paying an actual electrician. The fact tht he claims to be one and isnt making money is already a red flag cuz those guys get paid hella good but only IF they are good at their job.
It'd surely be cheaper in the end. My brother is a small contractor. I typically don't hire him because he doesn't treat me like a customer. I've told him I'd prefer he just charge me his normal rate AND do the work as he would for a stranger. Ultimately it was too much of a hassle to hire him and have to worry about him keeping on schedule, doing things the way I want, etc.
Where do people get the idea that having kids is some sort of burden put up on them and not a choice based on being irresponsible? It's not your fault he couldn't use protection.
Your brother is Gaslighting you, and your Mom is how he learned it. She's the Mother, so if she wants to bankroll his raw dogging, she can do that, but you will not.
Your not wrong. I had the same issue with my sister and her husband. I lost my house because they couldn't keep to the agreement. Dont let them move in. Let them stay with your mother. And then pay him for the work. If he is at all going to do the work. No offence
As a mother of toddler,I want to say give birth to a child when you are financially ready and don't pop out multiple kids if you can't afford their living cost. Now we decided one child is enough for us because we can't afford another in this moment. OP surely did the right thing.
With the animosity would you really want him doing electrical work in your house? You would also be giving him unsupervised time in the house to set up camp for his family.
He chose to have multiple kids. He chose a long commute. You owe him nothing. TBH, I wouldn't let him do the electrical work. That level of entitlement would make me question the quality of his work.
To own a house means you own a place worth half a mil at the very least. And the mom saying that brother is losing his house is a MAJOR red flag. Why do people think it's okay to be that one guy that goes "Imma just intrude into your invaluable estate and call it my home now!" like they helped pay for it or something?
No. You're not wrong. Family should help but you're are not entitled to that help. You can pay him for the work he will be doing but it is a not your responsibility to take him in at all. I'll help him find an affordable apt, help him move but he's not entitled to your home.
These so called " family " never try to offer any help on their own but they are experts in shifting responsibility and accusing others of being disrespectful 😒
Here’s my input. First of all I wouldn’t have asked my brothers they have screwed me over my whole life. Done plenty of things for free for them they refused to be in my wedding and when they asked me and I said no they freaked out on me for being selfish was told I was autistic I have mental disorders for holding a grudge etc. when I asked them why they wouldn’t be able to be in it their responses were “I just can’t”. One even went as far as to steal $17,000 from me. I’ve now cut off contact with both of them. You should do the same it sounds like.
If she's so worried, let him move in with her. Also, he's the one who decided to have a bunch of kids. Why should you pay for his inability to provide for him and his kids. Plus, he's your older brother and should want to help you out. Do yourselp a huge favor and pay an electrician. It will be much cheaper in the long run.
Do not let your brother work on your home. He hasn't even started to do work on your home, and the problems have already begun! Don't forget that if he becomes a squatter, he has rights. You'll never get him out!
The relatives who are bashing the OP for OP's decision should let the brother stay with them since they are so generous🙄 And if the mom is so worried about her son getting kicked out she could take him no?💀
The level of entitlement and delusion in these stories is so staggering, that I have a hard time believing their validity. But then again, some people truly are insane..
Absolutely Not🎉😊 Their entitled behavior and trickle truth of lies/manipulation let's you know upfront he will never pay rent, keep up the property, or leave when asked🎉😊
it's fair that OP didn't let his brother move in, the brother wasn't told he was allowed to and he just assumed he would, he didn't even think to ask about anything as if the house was going to be ready for him
Nobody is entitled to live in your home. Even relatives. Stand your ground. His multiple kids are not your problem. His being unable to manage his finances is not your problem. Your mother screaming at you just means she doesn't want him in her house. Luckily I am an orphan and only child and do not need to deal with any of this bs.
OP didn't make promises. You let family move in you get squatters. It's cheaper to pay an electrician. Id;d say if the other family want to chip in or are willing to do the same for brother then I'd consider it.
Just don’t hire him as an electrician 😂 find someone to finish the work before he gets there. you’re free to give whatever donation you want or start a go fund me and ask all those relatives who were forcing you to take him in to put their money where their mouth is. And sit back and watch the show
Find an electrician that's not brother when you can afford it and get it done I'm sure that electrician won't be asking to move in with you lol xgood luck x
Wow, rightfully you should pay your brother for the work done on your house, after that you are not responsible for his kids that he chooses to have. 😊
Well that family can open their doors and not be “a disgrace” for not opening up their homes!! I bet his mother said he could live in his brother’s home
You have your life's journey and he has his. The decisions he's made in his life, shouldn't cost you. If he's this entitled now, imagine how he'd be if he moved in.
Some parents think they can guilt trip you into feeling shameful siblings think that they're entitled because they're the older or younger brother or sister this is the biggest BS in the world family shouldn't have to guilt trick you into doing something that you don't want to do or make you promises that they know they can't keep
Family can be wonderful, but not when thing's get expected or taking advantage of. Being related and being close are two different things, one doesn't guarantee the other.
Basic rule of thumb for me if a relative ask to move into my house it's only temporary they have to follow the rules I set up for them they don't like it they can live somewhere else. Major red flag one the brother said that he'll be moving in with no prior agreement then goes behind your back and start lying to your family saying you had an agreement when you did not. For me that would take it from consider letting them stay for me to no way cuz I don't put up with that. It's my house and they need to respect that. If they can't even ask you to let them stay then they will not respect any rules you set in your house. And then there's the parents and other relatives trying to emotionally manipulate you to me that's a huge red flag and something you should cut contact with cuz that's a toxic behavior. Not good for whoever is in that situation and would not be good for any future spouses are kids they might have.
You know what I find funny about this situation, is the fact that other family members are saying that the op should let them (ops Bros family) move into his house but we don't here them offering anything to ops brother to live with them. Family drama is always so one sided
If he moved in he would never pay rent, hes obviously unreliable!!! Hasnt even done the work yet, but hes running around telling ppl your being unreasonable!!! Loser!!!
It's weird how the families in these stories act. My family is as dysfunctional as the next, but the entitlement and audacity to do even a quarter of the things I hear & read about other families doing, is something they would never have/do.
I would have said “look, don’t you come bitching to me when my brother lied saying I promised which I didn’t. Now if he would have told me his situation to begin with like a fucking man I probably would have let him stay. Now I am definitely not because all of you are bullying me because of it. So blame yourselves “
'How about this then. He can do the electrical work and move in, but then he has to sign a legal contract stating he has to pay rent for him and the kids, any food he eats, and he has to pay for the kids to be out of the house when you arent there. Any damage his kids do has to be fixed within a month or he gets a 1k fine a month Watch him backtrack quick and not want to go
