The Key To Dealing With Social Anxiety 

“People don’t pay a lot of attention to you” I pay a lot of attention to other people, I always assumed it was the same for everyone

This makes me feel so stupid for worrying so much.

Social anxiety is not just the fear and paranoia of being judge by others. It's also the fear of everyone assuming things on you, assuming your actions and thinking, the fear of everyone putting you in a box. It is very aweful overthinking that a lot. You make irrational things when social anxiety hits you. And everything you say and act is always planned in your head so you don't get to embarass your self. And after interracting to people you get depressed thinking it was not the right response. You them think they'll gonna hate you, dislike you, look down on you, disrespect you, judge you, weirded on you, laugh at you, get away from you. Social anxiety is not as easy as you think it is humiliating and physically mentally draining. If you think you knew someone who have social anxiety please dont give them a hard time. ❤️

"Life is just too short to care what others think"

Anxiety: everyone judges you Me: actually, nobody cares about me *anxiety left the chat *depression joined the chat

me: nobody cares bro also me: okay but what if they do

The worst part is when you have social anxiety and fear people judge you, and its actually true they judge you cause u hear them 💀

It's hard to not have that spotlight effect and develop social anxiety when you've been bullied because then all you can do is think about what others think. This was the case for me and I didn't get over my social anxiety until about two years ago.

feel like im an alien trying to reach human standards to be accepted. lmfao

being too aware of my own thoughts gives me anxiety

This video and comments are very interesting! I would like to share how I overcame my social Anxiety too! So basically I changed schools. What I had observed in my previous school was if you give your first expression to be extroverted they all assume you're extroverted. Unfortunately I was young, shy and timid, gave them the wrong impression and it was really hard to overcome the social anxiety because they all thought I was like that. In the other school I faked being an extrovert non-shy and easy to talk to, because they didn't know who I was! AND you won't believe that faking it got me very far. I now have more than 10 friends I can trust and also I am no more scared about what anyone thinks of me! I can give out public speeches about worrying too! Trust me You gotta fake it till you make it! I couldn't even ask someone to stop hitting my chair in the previous school because I thought everyone is assuming I am a socially anxious person, I can't speak up. But in my new school I am scolding someone who is talking bad about my friend! Look at the progress!! :D.

Honestly, the bigest problem for me is that I know everything... I am aware that all of those anxiety thoughts are just in my head... I am aware that it is not like that in riality and I can watch 1000 videos about overcoming anxiety, but I still can't fix it... I now that it is completely normal that other people will talk and think something about me and that it can't hurt me but I still have anxiety! That's the worst feeling ever... I fell like I'm trapped in some cage and I can't escape. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Biggest fear for people with social anxiety: public speaking Honestly its scarier than life threatening situations

A lot of people just say "stop being shy" But you actually bothered to do research and properly represent us. Thank you!

Something I thought about to get rid of my social anxiety: There's two sides of yourself, one side that's anxious and awkward and one side that's however you act around friends/family. Just show the side you act like around friends and family whenever you start to feel anxious. Not saying this will work but it got rid of it for me.

I learned about the spotlight effect in middle school, a long time ago. I felt better and thought that most people would not notice my mistakes. However, I've had MANY people tell me before that they HAVE indeed noticed my negatives, and they go out of their way to point this out, unprovoked. So I'm really starting to doubt how true the spotlight effect actually is.

Being with friends also helps to get rid of social anxiety because we create a seperate small dome of comfort when we are with friends.

I cured my social anxiety recently. A few months ago, I got myself a gym membership, but because I was so afraid of being judged, I'd go in there and just half-ass my work outs. This went on for a while until a morbidly obese fella walked in. I glanced at him and thought to myself "Jeez...I'm glad I didn't let it get this bad. I have faith he'll make it". I finished up my workout and I had already forgotten all about the guy until I saw him again in the locker room. That's when it hit me. Despite the fact that this man stands out in a bad way, everybody is too busy worrying about themselves to actually waste their time judging others. After that day, I started leaving my comfort zone more often and now everytime I feel anxious, I think about that guy at the gym. Life is much better now, I met new people and I'm making more friends, I feel guilty yet relieved to see how much I was missing out on the past few years. Edit: I'd also like to point out that strength training was one of the biggest factors to overcoming this, I highly recommend that people with social anxiety start exercising regularly.

a huge factor of my social anxiety was social judgement until I realized judging others made me fear of being judged. therefore, my social anxiety is near non existent nowadays.

I just got an episode of social anxiety but watching this video immediately calmed me down, thanks a lot! It's nice to know that people don't judge every details of our actions.

One thing that helps me beat social anxiety is whenever i feel watched or judged by someone, i imagine in my head that the roles are reversed. That the other person “watching” me is worrying about what i might be thinking about them, and i on the opposite side am the confident, anxiety-free person that is just living life care free.

I kinda found out about this myself I realized that I don’t care when people do something embarrassing so I just presumed everyone thinks the same

MAN I LOVE YOU!!! I used to be hated but now I'm social 😭💓💗

People dont realize how severe and tricky it can be, i can have long conversations without social anxiety with one person with whom i feel comfortable. but ina crowd i am not even able to function properly, i feel like the whole world outside has just stopped for a moment to look at me and judge me, what works for me is that i start looking at people and when i find out theyre just minding their own business, i get relieved but still i just want this thing to end. its making alot of problems in my life.

Sometimes when i have anxiety i just keep saying to myself that ‘nobody cares’ repeatedly, kinda helps

One thing I think you should have mentioned is: In the event someone DOES remember the negative event you were in and picks on you for it, most of the time, it's because they're projecting their problems onto you. People who have a more positive outlook on life will generally empathize and/or simply shrug off what you went through, whereas people with a more negative outlook on life will try to pull you down to their level. Don't let these few jerks get you down!

I'm so glad I learned this from experience. I remember in freshman year I used to be self conscious about everything I do, but then I started to realize that people kept forgetting about the stuff I tried to point out that would have happened the day before

I would like to thank this channel, i used to watch their videos along time ago, i was insecure and socially anxious, they have givin alot of tips and tricks that helped me or at the very least pushed me in the right way. I have gotten alot better to the point where I'm not shy at all and very confident in myself. I haven't been watching their videos in a long and seeing this in my recommended section reminded mof howfl far I've come

We hear a LOT of people (on RU-vid or otherwise) often telling us about this: to stop worrying about what people think because they really don’t care and we’re only wasting time and mental energy worrying about it. And even though I technically “know” it, I still often think “but what if in this case they do....” , so thanks for actually offering stepwise concrete tips as to how we can potentially change our mindset about this. I will try this now. Thank you.

When your heart races, entire body breaks out in sweat, legs feel weak, and words start stuttering, it's kinda of hard to just stop caring

this video answers the majority of my struggle with this so-called symptom. thank you for giving me throughout insight

honestly, as someone who has social anxiety, the best advice i can give someone is to practice talking to people whenever possible. it doesn't have to be a big interaction and it doesn't have to be that long, take it in very, very small steps. start by taking someone you know and are comfortable talking with and try ordering something from a restaurant or take out from a fast food place. it's ok if you can't say anything at first, have the person you're with say your order instead. the more you keep trying to say your order, the more you'll be comfortable with saying it and then at some point, even if it's a long time away, you won't need to go with someone and you can do it by yourself. also try just saying hi to people at your work, or at school and once you're comfortable with that, try making light conversation, like complimenting someone's outfit or asking "how are you". i know this might not help everyone, but it did help me somewhat so far so i'm hoping this can help someone else.

To be honest though, the anxiety comes from the fact that people are watching you *at the moment* How do you stay calm knowing you're currently in the spotlight?

When you said “Swapping shoes”, I was so afraid you were gonna ask us to perform some social experiment involving wearing different shoes on your different feet to realise that most people don’t notice or care. The real thing was better phew. Thanks for this video :)

It is such a relief to find out that people are not *always* looking at me and judging every fricking activity I do. Thanks bro, you saved me.

I hope you all get over it, i got over it a few months ago. I used to be so scared of looking at people and talking to them, i was so stupid back then. I overcame social anxiety!!! Im so relieved!!!!!!

You just HAVE TO DO IT guys! I was so afraid to go skating today, although I bought this super expensive skates. Then I saw this video, went skating and now I feel sooo awesome.

3:26 Have you ever looked at someone and thought, what is going on inside their head?

I actually realized this long ago, when I talked with my friends about something embarrassing I did in class a few days ago and they said they completely forgot, however I always have to remind myself to is after an embarrassing situation because I’m so focused on the stress of the situation

THIS MUSTVE BEEN ON MY RECCOMENDED FOR A REASON. I just started at a new school and I sweat just thinking about talking to people. Thank you!!!

When you have debilitating social anxiety, you eventually get to a point where you have to decide: “Am I going to live with this? Or am I going to take massive action and do everything in my power to get rid of it?” Maybe it’s not one moment. I can’t really remember the moment where I asked myself that. I think it was shortly after my whole floor at college made fun of how awkward I was. Then, once I figured out how to overcome it, I took action...putting myself in more and more social situations every day.

“People don’t really care” Me: *Gives presentation in front of class* Class: *Stares at me throughout the whole presentations and snickers at me afterwards*

This is precisely on point to some of the situations experienced by ones around me, also explained very well in a new way to look at public embarrassment and social anxiety in general, thank you!

This really made my life easier..My mind is always filled with thoughts about me,"What they think about me",If i am looking good","I hope they don't notice that I am nervous","I hope they don't think of me as rude"...things like that..SO its same for others too, means they don't pay attention to others and to me...This really helped me ,whenever i get anxious or nervous , I always tell myself that "No one is paying attention to me","No one cares about others","They are busy thinking about their life" BELIEVE ME THIS IS LIFE CHANGING.

“I just want to be myself” “YOU SUCK!” my worst nightmare 😭😭😭

10% is still too much. I want NO ONE to remember 😭💀

This is one of if not the most helpful videos that I've come across on RU-vid in the past few years. Thank you!!

Your video, I believe, portrayed this concern succinctly and clearly, with graspable and plausable interventions. Bravo and thank you to all involved.

Omg yes I've been needing this video, you can't believe how many opportunities I've missed *just* because I feel anxiety thinking about social situations, and then my regret would drive me crazy all the time. Recently I've been trying to ease things by making myself just *think less* and I'm glad to see that it's something actually worth trying, I absolutely love the idea of your channel and it helped alot so far, thank you for doing so! 💕

I have social anxiety too, I've been struggling for all my life. That's why I make videos and record my self to see my self on other perspectives. So I can improve and Learn to speak and practice my English too 😄. I'm glad I'm not alone. Start recording your self guys 😄 Understand learn your self. YOU CAN DO IT!! You are not that bad!

ive had social anxiety since i knew how to talk to people. this was possibly one of the most helpful things I've ever seen for my social anxiety

I discovered this in my own, and knew that in my head I was making situations seem bigger than they actually were, but like the guy says in the video, nobody cares, they’re probably just thinking of something else, I was so anxious and insecure, that whatever I heard a group of people laughing behind me or by me, I would start thinking “are they laughing at me?” then I would look towards them, and they weren’t even looking at me, so it’s all just your mind having more control over you than you over it, but it is something that anybody can overcome.

I’ve never clicked on a video so quick. I suffer from social anxiety and I loved how you explained the concept of the spotlight effect! Very well done!

I feel anxiety watching this.

I always be scared to try and make friends because people can be mean and I've always been afraid of rejection but this has helped me in some way it's just that school air hits different

The idea that everyone is in there own head paying attention to there own things makes it way easier tbh every time I feel that anxiety I’m gonna remind myself no one’s paying that much attention no reason to worry about outside opinions

The biggest challenge and only question worth asking is "Am I being true to myself?" cause as you said most people are too self-absorbed anyway. Being true to yourself is also the only way to attract the people you naturally get along with instead of forcing you to fit in groups where you don't have great chemistry.

The best thing to cure social anxiety is to think that all people around you are blind 😂😂😂 just try it

Extremely helpful! I've known about the concept of "the spotlight effect", but I've never really "applied" it to my life efficiently. But with the tips, I think I get it now.

"people dont look at you like you think they do, some dont even know i exist" This quote is what made my anxiety go away

Heres my story: I got social Anxiety when I got to grade 7. I went to a new school which was french emmerson and I had no friends, I was scared to talk because I was scared I'd be judged. The whole year I barely talked and was picked on a few times. Then grade 8 came around I switched schools again this time with my old friends in a english school . I still didn't feel comfortable talking and I would always be alone, then I met a friend I could talk to her perfectly fine. But when we entered class I was scared I'd be called on and I was scared to be in group projects. Now in grade 9 I'm still the same even when I go out with my sister and help her clean. My sister is always talking to people and I'm just so quiet because I feel sick even thinking about saying Hi The weird think is in elementary to grade 6 I was a social butterfly :( and had a lot of friends and loved to talk.. I also get a lot of depression I feel like I'm useless and ugly. My family doesn't understand and usual just ignore me or try to talk to me but it never seems to help. My sister told me I should try to start convo first so when me and my sister went to volunteer I tried but it was like my mouth was dry and I wanted to puke, I felt under pressure.

my life has been changing because of this channel, so grateful that its here.

I started following the Forwago workout sessions day after day and it hasn't just changed my body, but positively impacted my mental health and made me a new me

I swear this is really helpful, i have a huge social anxiety everytime someone looks at me i freak out! Like i always think people are judging me

I realized that most of the things you say or do people will most likely forget about it the next day

Him: no one cares Also Him: study people and try to be in their shoes

I took a public speaking class in college, and my teacher told me that you are your biggest critic. That helped me feel much more confident.

My problem is, I already know this but it still doesn't get any better

I'll tell you from experience, it's not some black magic. I used to be socially anxious and awkward, then I had to work in my town's office during summer holidays with my classmate and it helped me a ton. The people working there were super nice and friendly. I was doing many tasks but mainly took care of printer and had to copyprint documents for strangers a lot. In no time I got way more social and confident and extroverted. As with any fear the best solution is exposure therapy. Find a job or hobby where you interact with people a lot like at supermarket, cinema or coffe shop. With how many customers you'll be talking with daily you'll get used to talking with people and start to care less about fuckups.

I have been struggling with high functioning anxiety for years now. I’ll definitely try the two steps!

I felt motivated and excited and focused and balanced while writing my last comment since I was actively engaged into something true and revealing but now only when I'm done describing my thoughts and actions and start to drift from one mystery to the next....the time I was occupied I felt selfless, now after the active engagement mixed w contemplation is over, I long for the next lapse in self awareness, to be free in one moment and a prisoner in the next is sometimes a hard pill to swallow

Love this video. Hasn’t completely cured me, but has changed my view a bit. Thx

I have really bad social anxiety and it bothers me when I blush or start sweating and I'm too scared to tell my parents or the doctor that I have symptoms of social anxiety 😞

I have been struggling with a social anxiety when I meet someone new at first I’m shy but then I come out of that shell and at the end I have a great time and we bond so it’s worth it trying to socialize and break out of that I used to not have much friends but I gained 20+ friends in less a year because I learned to love myself and socialize with other people without worrying so guys it’s worth it at the end

2:02 first time I genuinely smiled in a while

Thank you, I’m going to try this tomorrow during my presentation

I DON'T HAVE THE WORDS TO THANK YOU! This is EXACTLY why I needed! I have seen a lot of videos and stuff about how to deal with social anxiety, but none of them put it as clear as this, because it's true! The example you said about ourselves just thinking the most of time about ourselves is absolutely true and I just realized that thanks to you! Liked and subscribed!

People that suffer from SA often come across as arrogant, since they do not talk much. However the thing is, that people with this disorder often take themselves too important/serious in an unhealthy way ("everybody is gonna judge me/think negatively about me" - and so on). This is mixed with a overly strong perfectionism in social situations. So socially anxcious people can feel highly responsible for the feelings of others and their well being. Also they are too much in their own head and mind most times instead of shifting the focus towards others and their surroundings. It all boils down to a very low self esteem and caring not enough about the own needs. I suffered from it myself. Go and seek therapy, it helped me a lot and definately made more more difference than watching videos on the subject (and even talking to friends who might understand you, but do not know how to provide techniques to overcome it). For me being patient with myself and finding out things about me that i like helped a lot. The fear developed itself in order to protect me from harm, but it is irrational thinking. Learning to accept that you don't need this kind of protection anymore is crucial. You will only learn that nothing will happen to you, if you voluntary go outside and seek those challanging situations (depending on your indiviual anxiety level!). Wash, rinse, repeat. Find something that excites you and brings you joy to build self esteem. Meditation and exercise help, too. You have managed many things in life, worse than the dinner or the meeting that you have coming up next week. Finding compassion for yourself and your anxiety will help reducing it. Anxieties can be triggers that there is something within you, that wants to surface. Diving into it will not only make you understand yourself better but also provides the chance for unlocking new potential within you.

By the way thank you for this video I watch this right before going to the mall and it really helped I never thought about how much I think during social situations but you’ve helped a lot

Thanks a lot for these two advice! Social anxiety bothers me so much that my neck starts paining and becomes stiff like fearing to look around freely

This is life changing for us- introverts, hope you're having a good day after you've watch Improvement Pill's video! 😊

I ve been constantly reminding myself for few years now, that I'm not on the spotlight we meet people of all kinds where ever we walk into ,all worrying about their own troubles ...I think it's been a helpful thought process so far.

One of your best yet shortest videos

You single handedly cured my social anxiety

I've recently discovered this too! A few days ago one of my teachers asked my class to share our most embarrassing moment that we have experienced while in school. In most cases the person telling us remembered the moment really vividly as if it has happened in the previous days but usually only 2-3 people remembered that embarrassing moment (out of 40) but even they we're not able to fully recall it but could just remember that it happened

I do this but When i have to talk and they are actually looking at me, my voice becomes shaky and eyes become full of tears . And i bet they'll remember me as an awkward cringy dude.

I am struggling with social anxiety, and I find this video very helpful. I hope that one day I will improve once I use these techniques.

This video changed my life

I love this channel. It's absolutely amazing, because they provide evidence along with motivation, and how to truly make yourself better. That makes all the difference. Thank you Improvement Pill.

Love it! So true... we as humans tend to SUFFER MORE in our own head THAN in reality

this is honestly the most helpful video I found about this topic,coming from a person who actually struggles with this

i think what kills most of us inside is getting to comfortable with our thoughts and playing the outcome like it’s what really happened but in reality we won’t even know and you just have to accept that 👍

Great share, totally agree that while we think that everyone judges us, the fact is most are just indifferent. They have their own problems to deal with to worry about yours

The main problem with social anxiety is that you don't know how to control it. I often let anxiety just take over me and I become no longer in control. That's why meditation can really help ❤

you just changed my view to others.Thanks you very much.

this video is my daily reminder it really helps me with my social anxiety

Anxious of what you are wearing, what others think, what they would say, fear of regret, rejection... yeah it sucks. But you know what, sometimes you gotta go out of your comfort zone to overcome this and realize no one cares if you make mistakes... it's a learning process that all humans go through. You are never never alone! :)

Very wise advice, and so true! Socially anxious people always worry that everyone is judging them all the time. It simply isn't true. I should know, I used to suffer from social anxiety.

this makes me feel a lot better thank you

I went to a group tour for the first time alone and realised id overcome my anxiety. Ive been working on it for yrs and i finally now just don’t care what others think. I was able to be myself, alone. I still made jokes and connected with people. I didnt feel embarrassed to be by myself even with everyone else being as a couple. I didnt feel weird or awkward. I was just present. Either that or i lost brain cells😂