Ah that is literally traumatizing for me, like no joke. I sat alone for a year but then the other two years I sat with a teacher in school during lunch to work on work! The best advice I could give is just be a little bit more open with people. I took baby steps, very small steps and now a couple years later I no longer eat by myself in lunch. Just be yourself and you will find your group, people you didn’t even think would be your friends might turn out as your friends. Be more open, in the sense of smile more, be more friendly towards people, and if your brave enough compliment someone! These helped me over the long run. Also just revisiting these videos once in awhile help a lot too! That’s what I’m doing lol
But everyone should remember that there are people out there who just wont like you. No matter what you do, even if you’re completely innocent. So don’t waste your time trying to get them to like you.
For people who do none of this and have little to no friends: It’s okay. Sometimes people just DONT CARE. But sometimes they do. What you can do: Always be there for people who are there for you and be yourself. They befriended you because of how you are NOT how others are. So don’t try to be just like others around you, and your friends are allowed to have other friend too. I understand what this feeling can be like as someone who has lost friends due to my past mistakes and sometimes just for NO REASON. This is just how life is sometimes. But it will get better, you got this. 💜
what if friends just stopped talking to you without a reason even though there its not your fault, you know you didn’t do anything that hurted your friend, why is it like that?
@@complexx_scam617 Because sometimes we don't see people for who they are but for who we imagine them to be and it leads to situation you don't understand like when people you thought you could depend on always "forget about you" when in truth most of the times they don't even do it on purpose, it just comes naturally to them to forget about you and if they keep not doing anything to make an effort in the relationship too, even when you told them it's hurtful then you should stop engaging first with them and eventually if they never call you back and keep forgetting, you will just become acquaintance who knew each other at worst and see each other only when invited to the same party at best, it's sad but it's better like this and maybe it's not forever and someday they will come back thinking about you by themselves but better not count on it to be surprised and not dependent on doubtful hope.
I’m 76 years old and I remember when my wife died in 2021 many of my classmates from school sent me sympathy messages but when I was younger they didn’t seem to have any time for me except to make my life miserable.
The person that everyone loves to be around, they have these factors. They tend to be genuinely interested in people They smile They're funny They remember and call people by their name They are good listeners They encourage people to talk about themselves They talk in terms of other people’s interest great informative content,shit load of value, keep up the good work!
J Bones So true. That kind of thing is rlly rlly hard to fake and act. My only suggestion is to genuinely have that personality by not acting , but just tweaking the way you see things ☝️👍
There is another much more important rule for all this to be achieved: Love yourself. "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." - Laozi
Personally I find it easy to make friends especially in school but having conversations or keeping contact with them is the hard part because usually we don’t share the same interests
@@user-ud8lf8dz9r just what the video says basically. you know, have a likable personality. I'm very popular in school though I have no friends. I can sit with anyone I want, but I decide to sit alone. As I feel lonely sitting with people. To each is own, I'm sure you'll have a eaiser time.
I want to remind everyone of this: even if you follow ALL the rules, even if you're perfect, kind and lovable and helpful, there still will be somebody who doesn't like you and that's okay. To avoid being desperate, love yourself always and give yourself the attention and approval you crave!
Hm.3 years ago,one girl in my class dislikes me ao much.She was popular in class and all my friends are her friends too. I just called her everyday and greeted her and just ended the call. It was weird.😑i was soo desperate. IDK how now she is one of my best friends now🚶♀Some people do change tho
How painfully ironic to see that if you’re depressed and in a rough place where you need friends the most is when you’ll have the hardest time making any🙃 which leads to fueling the cycle even more
If your depressed and in a rough place, then obviously other people won't want to catch it from you, so it makes sense to not want to be friends with a depressing person. But if you already had friends from when you weren't so depressive and draining, I've seen people stick around to support because you were there with them before
I mean it makes sense that people don't want to share the burdens of complete strangers, you have to wait until you actually get closer and become friends before opening up completely, and friends are not therapists either
Friendship is not just a word it's a feeling , all the memories that u and ur friends spent with each other . Friendship is very precious and is very important in life ✨
@@Jaball.. I get that, I've got trust issues and think I only need myself, but friendships are based on respect, justice and loyalty( which is trust and honesty) that is precious. But most people (NOT ALL, MOST) ive met, especially teenagers are the worst and suck.
I'm in this situation where a new friend joined our friend group but she hates me and says bad things about me to my friends and my friends seems to not care or not notice??HAHAHSH it hurts because i was the original friend.
It’s sad for me to see all of you people in the comments struggling to make friends. I just wanna let any of you who feel abandoned or alone out there know that you are not nearly as bad as you think you are, and you are loved by me even if you don’t have anyone now. I love all of you. Please don’t feel sad, life’s tough but you can make it, please don’t give up ❤️
I kinda hate it when you feel betrayed because i have an app called discord and some people i go to school with they always say they wanna fight me and that we arent friends but then when we go to school its all chill and i hate tha because im very emotional and ive been heartbroken by so many people and have been laughed at by so many kids. One time these kids took a picture of me and made me look like a old ugly women i hate it so much
@KingLarrY4k34 that's rough and I feel your pain. This is where you show life you are stronger and better than them, keep growing, workout, do happy things and dont take life to serious. It's really tough for me to stay positive because my life and family are seemingly falling apart but I have to stay strong or things will just only get worse...
I have one other rule: "You have to consider them as friends" If you don't feel like you deserve them as friends, or simply don't think them as friends, you'll unconsciously push them away.
I'm introvert, i sometimes still got anxiety, but i just found something weird how to stop that anxiety, i just start thinking about my surroundings and stop to feel about environment, i know it's weird but to me it works just start using your brain, feel that you have a brain, and think all about possible income if you do this, but not just that, predict what people will do, just think don't let your feeling got you, just think idk how to describe this again think, and feel your brain
The best way to make friends is by talking to them first. They don't want to talk to other people, so you're doing the job for them when you do this. Make sure you listen to them and expand on what they are saying, don't only say things that have to do with you, like if the other person recently moved from Washington, ask them what it was like there, why they moved, and so on. The best person to start a conversation with is someone who isn't talking to many people or seems as lonely as you. If they are relatively popular it still works, it may be harder to make a long-term relationship. If you liked this comment or agreed then... LIKE 👇
Yes, but sometimes it's a gamble because if you talk to them first and they don't ask anything about you or try to get to know you then it's just a waste of time
I always find myself pretty weird and I often ask myself how I still have a lot of friends, even some friendships that are more than 14 years old (I'm 18 btw) but the thing is, I have those friends because we listen to eachother's stories and we laugh and have fun. We introduce ourselves to other friends of friends and that gives you even more friends. Even though I find myself pretty weird I always try to be fun to hang around with, I'm friendly and I care about how they feel. Friends aren't just for 1 day so you should try to keep them. If you notice you're losing a friend because you're life's are changing, accept it. Friendship can't come from one person, both people need to put time in it. I've lost one of my best friends because we grew away from eachother but I still greet him when I see him. The point is, that you shouldn't worry to much about making friends, just be nice and it will happen eventually. Even if you lose a friend there are plenty of other who also love you
I guess I watch this because i feel like i’m just after the wrong things after i spent a few years “improving” myself because I wanted to be “mysterious”, “cool” and above all, superior to other human beings
This mentality is the reason why depressed people feels so lonely. You should fake smile all the time, not talk about your problems and pretend that you are always happy... If you show your real emotions people abandons you...
I got transferred to new place at my work and for past 3 months felt really depressed. My boss talked to me about not being able to be a part of the team. Now I smile all the time a pretend to be super positive... I want to quit every single minute because I feel miserable and I really started to hate my work.
@@allygotchannel3563 I hope your doing better and that you're happier and that you're not depressed at least at the moment I might be a year late but I hope you're doing better love
The reality is once you have people close to you, it's up to you to determine who you actually talk about your issues with. This I think is more so how to make and keep friends
I 100% agree & I can relate to the example you gave. I’ve always been pretty popular & friendly to everyone but I have noticed over the years that If im just passing thru or going about my business I can have a certain demeanor that can come off as intimidating at first glance. I never realized the importance it has until recently. It’s plays a big role in first impressions, meeting people, networking… I have made it a priority to actively think about and be conscious of in my day to day interactions. This has made a even greater improvement in my interactions and overall mood!!
I don't really abide by any rules I just talk to people you know? I think the first step is to be happy. If you're sad then find out why and find a solution to it. If you have depression that's a different story so just take your medication until you get through it I guess
no matter how nice i was to everyone no matter how much i cared bout others instead of myself no matter how much i complimented them literally all my classmates all my life nothing worked out do we really need friends? im at the point to where i dont really care much bout friendships anymore no matter who it is, they really dont wanna be my friend so i’d rather just focus on myself instead of others
I follow the “golden rules”, I just have a mental illness that convinces me that I’m a burden and I don’t deserve to have friends so I don’t talk to people anymore. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
I have a lot of friends thinking their a burden and i can tell you it is highly possible that you aren't and even if, there is ALWAYS someone who doesn't see you as one. Stay positive and maybe try to open up and honestly tell people about that. They will understand
I feel like I already do this (which is a good confidence booster!). My problem lies with consistency. I befriend someone one day and ask for their social media and the next day, I'm off to finding a new person. Repeat this cycle a couple times and you see me with a ton of acquaintances, confused as to why we're not friends yet. I realize that I have to actually text/hang out with them and talk frequently to establish a friendship (shocker!!! Lol sorry, I was sheltered). I'm still not oh so comfortable with it but I'm actively trying to have a regular hang out if I wanted to deepen a friendship.
I can relate to your problem! It's a wonder to see something I've been struggling with, get put into words. Workplaces and school helps make friendships consistent, cause you're practically seeing them every day. Though, it has been a year since you commented this, so have your problem lessened? Have you gotten more consistent with it?
that's still me and I know that it doesn't work. I guess I am just scared of being vulnerable or I'm scared of starting conversations without following through which I often do :v
@@sleepieste hi! I just saw your message now but here’s a little update :). It’s definitely easier for me to stay consistent with reaching out to someone and befriending them. I realized I was scared of not being the ‘perfect friend’ to someone & that they’d spend more of their time with someone else that was better when they realize all of my flaws. But now I think friendship is based on your interests or accepting & respecting the other person’s beliefs. I have a solid friend group that I talk with almost everyday and some friends I’ve met through different means that I don’t talk with as much but I care for just as much ❤️. I just graduated college so everyone’s trying to find jobs & are starting to get busier but I noticed people appreciate it when you remember their birthday or greet them during holidays :). Now I find myself taking a mental note of who I want to maintain friendships with & continue to check up on them once every few months so I can maintain that friendship :) (& I realized a lot of ppl are scared to make the first move so I don’t take it personally & reach out first. If they want to maintain friendship w me, they’ll reply & be open to catch up for a bit. If not, it’s no big deal at least I tried) Sorry it’s gotten long but I hope it helped a bit!!
No matter how much generous, how much polite, how much kind you are to that person or anyone, you cant get them into your circle. Its people. You cant control them, so best advice is use your mind, find out the "real ones" and set it as your task. Dont waste your time on ones that dont seem to even like you a bit even after your tiresome act of kindness and innocence.
Sometimes you're just not in a positive mindset but forced into a social situation. Faking it is just too draining. That's when you get judged and it creates a destructive loop and it's really not fair 😓
See that’s the problem, I can’t make other people feel good unless the situation creates it or impress them. I can only express my views and unbiased views with honesty and most people hate that, majority of people love to hear stuff that they want to hear and not the actual fact, is wt I noticed among numerous conversations.
ROVA Honestly just be yourself, stay positive and stop complaining and if people still dont like you then that's their own problem and you should move on with your life 🤷♂️
Maybe don't bring up depressing stuff all the time and talk about stuff they enjoy as well. Do you ever talk about the stuff that interests the other person and things they enjoy?
My goal in high school is to become friends with everyone. I don't have to be close to them, I just want to be able to talk to everyone. I enjoy having friends! Plus, I just want to be known as the person who's friendly and open minded. I want to easily become friends with people and help others that have issues/struggle to make friends!!
That's exactly how you get "friends". Friends that will let you down in hard times, friends that won't help you with your house moving, friends that are only around you when you fake happiness. Just tell people what's on your mind. Sure, don't complain about little things, but if you have a problem, talk to people! Being popular is by far not as important as your mental health.
Being aware that you're making conversations all about yourself and knowing you spread too much negativity doesn't really make you gain negative friends, you just get friendd
Its true, I hate when im telling someone something about myself and they just cut me off and start to talk about themselves as if my story didn't matter. Thats why I don't do this to others because its truly a bad feeling.
Those are things indicative of a few deeper issues within us, so it's not enough to try to 'hide' this behavior, we have to work on ourselves and how we view the world so they can feel a naturally positive vibe instead of a forced one.
body language no saying negative make them feel better ab themselves listen to them don't cut what they say. Observed and just listen. don't share personal emotions. Negatives
I'm here to tell you something really important. It is not impossible to make friends. Like, i used to be alone at school. And i didn't even have anyone to text when I'm baxk at home. I felt like no one was matching my vibe, so i just never made friends, also everyone else already had friends so i thouth i didn't stand a chance. Once i stumbled upon this vedio . I reallg trued to make some progress in me. And i started focusing on people who seemed like impossible to be made friends with. Then i slowly started interracting with them. And, here i am , happier than ever. Now I'm never lonely, I'm really glad i never gave up. I just saw this vedio, and remembered that i had already watched it and came here to leave a comment.❤
I will remember the rule so that i can break these and prevent myself from making friends because learning to be comfortable with my ownself alone and happy is the best, because at the end u will be alone, nothing lasts forever
I keep on screwing things up with my friends and I don’t know how to keep a stable friendship so I think I’m going to binge watch some of these videos haha
I genuinely have a hard time trying to be interested in other people. I realized that I'm often selfish, think of myself a lot, which is why I'm often shy or stand off-ish because I always feel like I need to be the main character of everything for me to give a damn. Talking bout myself gives me an ego boost, but it depresses me sometimes because i realized that I don't have any genuine friends around or don't even know how to genuinely spend time with those closest to me. I want to change this, and I'll be working on doing so.
It may sound like a fantasy and impossible but you can try this instead of the video: be polarizing and 100% yourself. Don't be afraid to do and say what you want. This way you'll filter out those who dislike you and make genuine connections with those few that'll be with you the rest of your life. Like Dr. Suess said: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Oh damn, I broke the Golden Rule so much last year. I was really depressed and my self esteem was plummeting, and I didn't try to hide it. I didn't try to fix ot, either. At the same time, I was always talking about my own interests (I think I was looking for validation).
It's easy to make friends. Just act like you've been friends with the other person for a long time. My problem is that i want to be friends with authentic people. Those I'm surrounded with talk about others behind their backs and are highly judgemental.
Idk if this would actually help anyone much but my tips are: - Compliment people more but in the nicest way possible, please don’t make it sound back-handed or weird/random 😭 Especially if you compliment the smallest changes or details about someone while talking to them it would be a great way to make someone like you more! - Always be the first to text/talk or start the convo! You don’t always have to be but I’m sure most people would appreciate it! Because who knows maybe they feel the same as you do! - Literally talk about anything that flows through your mind but if it’s a weird ass topic or something real sus, best to keep that to yourself or things will get akward (would be fine with certain friends or close friends)
To anybody who wants to learn more lessons like these ones ,read Dale Carnegie's book "how to win friends and influence people" , it covers all that improvement pill said on this video and much more, it's pure gold.
I require no approval from anybody. Thus, I have no friends nor require any. I learned the hard way. The modern version of what a friend is happens to be a low level enemy in disguise, waiting for you to show weakness. Upon finding that weakness, the, "friends," will attack you and take what they can from you. Being social offers very few benefits and a tremendous amount of negatives. Realizing this, deleting of that needless aspect of life out of my existence seemed the logical thing to do.
Thank you! It's been a year that I have watched this I now have friends that are pretty loyal thank you! I used to sit in my class alone and can't even get sit into groups and I eat alone I used to cry when I just think that nobody will helped me thank you
The thing about this video is that it's not telling you to never talk about bad stuff in your life or open up about your issues, it's just that you need to know WHEN to talk about them. Open up gradually after you get to know some people more, don't just start talking about everything in your life at the first meeting. Take it slow, take your time, when getting to know people.
I did listen to others, helping them when they're in need, always keep a smiling face and never talk too much about myself. But here I am don't have any friends. I think they don't like me because I am introverted who always need to spend time alone to recharge. aside from that I have ptsd and social anxiety, so there isn't much hope for me to have friends. 😢
You can't make some people like you no matter how hard you try, so just focus on doing you. Plus, you don't want everyone to like you. You are just not for everyone and everyone is just not always for you either.
Bro, we're not living life to make everyone like us. Just live life, be yourself... You only have one life, don't care about if anyone like you or not. Enjoy life ! Life is beautiful but crual ❤️
In school, people usually talk over me, ignore me, or when they are talking to me, it's always awkward. In my life, Its a real dream of mine to have a best friend. One that'll go to my house. Play games with me, call me, go to the mall with me, do sleepovers and all sorts of junk. I remember a few years ago, an old friend told me that when she first met me, she thought I was super mean. I took that comment from hers as a sign that everyone does think that way about me.
One time, I asked my friend if u wanna go hiking with me, but with a motionless-looking face(Just to test some Psychology for fun. 😏) and he refused (Cus he said I looked tired.. Huh.) And the other day, asked again, but this time with a little smile and a little high-tone voice. Surprisingly, he said yes! This tells that body- language is really important with making relationships. (Man, I like Psychology👍) Keep up with good work Improvement Pill, can't wait to fix my mistakes and make some friends. 👏👏👏👏👏
Improvement pill ! I want to thank you for everything,all your videos are just everyone needs , I will Love to take all your courses . Once again thank you !
I also grew up friendless, rejected, especially I had a bad reputation. It used to make me very sad😞. But does anything of that bring my sorrow or continue spreading negativity by using the past as my advantage? None of that matters to me. One of the most valuable pieces of advice for myself is that as I got older, I realize the truth that I don't need friends to make me look like I am a pro or a cool person. I can be a success of my own.😇
I have a resting face, even when I feel distressed and forward my eyebrows, it’s so subtle it’s not even there. So I try too smile and comment on everything my not close friends say.
You are doing very good job bro... Because of u I am what I am today... U give very practical advises which I have applied throughout my last 6 months.. Keep making vids like this... Hats Off..
I have a natural frowning kanye face, my friends often tell me that they thought i was intimidating and mean when they first met me. They tell me that am the total opposite now that they know me. Its hard when you have that kind of face but am still working on it by being more self aware 🙂
I understand that conversations shouldn't always be about oneself, but when should it? Is listening to their story till the end, adding onto it, then saying a related story of your own(showing empathy rather than comparison) ok? In other words, should conversations be back and forth transitions rather than only one of the two constantly talk about themselves and the other listening?
good point. it does start from 100-0 then as it goes on you should take it to somewhere 70-30. it seems to be the sweet spot. always say less than necessary but still give the other person enough topic or conversational avenue to "cling" to.
I've noticed that when I keep the topic on the other person, they almost always ask questions about me in return. It's almost like an interest in them makes them interested in you. I'm trying to make it a rule of thumb to not talk about me at all, even though sometimes I feel inclined to in order to let them know I can relate, or to make a point. But i'm working on fighting the urge to talk about me unless they ask. (with the exception of this comment :D )
...I don't know, aren't we doing this for our social comfort, in the first place? Of course a "tactic" in which you're not saying anything might work to make you friends, but what do you need a friend like that for, you should both be able to talk about whatever you want, I've made a friendship like that, with a somewhat around 80%-20% talking, accidentally, and I feel like I've made a mistake somewhere and am the other person that might feel not listened to... Your tactic seems to me like a better tactic, if you're looking for friends and not to increase your number of friends...
@@fion3943 exactly, giving someone a hold over you, and showing that you are vulnerable, because everyone is, is the very point of having friends in the first place, to have someone help you hold all of your problems...
Okay I say this one thing just be yourself. People who want to be around you will be around you and the ones that don’t probably didn’t want to be around in the first place. You can try as much as you want you can’t make people do things they don’t want so stop trying to fit in and be yourself try to be happy and peaceful that’s more important than having fake friends around you.
It's true thou to keep urself going u need happiness and no matter how much u spend time gaming using phone watching Netflix it won't satisfy u or make u happy as long as u create memories with people just imagine doing the stuff u do alone doing it with someone who is really close to u or whom u really like it just makes the thing 10times better doesn't it
Btw the best thing to do if you wanna have friends just don’t go up to them and ask because that will show that your begging for friends and that’s not nice what you should do is let them be the one who is asking you for friendship that will show that your better alone and will make people want to be friends with you and I tried this and it worked for me
this is genius. there was a time where i was at a nightclub with friends, and one new friend asked me a question that i didnt intend to discuss, but i felt like i owed her an answer for the sake of authenticity. which led to the other person trying to fix my problem, but they had a limited view of what was happening, so i felt like i had to explain the whole situation, which resulted in me dominating the conversation. and it was weird bc i didnt really want to be talking about it in the first place. now in the future, i should just give a vague, positive answer so we can change topics and talk about something that's actually fun.
U guys are lucky u get to go to school, u guys literally have the opportunity to make friends…. Don’t take it for granted like i did. I was homeschooled through high school. Worst mistake I ever made.
Felt amazing not being friends, with someone who’s always negative. Felt amazing not being with someone who brings people down. Always complaining and I try to lift him up, and give him encouragement, he’ll rub it off.
