The LGBTQ+ Generation Gap 

Volunteer. And listen. 😊

You're gay not some alien creature. We're the boring gay couple down the street. We've been together now for 10 years. We're probably not much different then your parents. We have jobs, dreams, problems.

I would love you to spend 2 years with me in my country where per capita income is 1500$... Maybe you'll learn about real life problems.

read! the love and knowledge of our elders exists in books!

Fred Hampton's Ghost co-opted for commercialization. The gayness is real. Companies will do what they do. Companies co-opt to sell an imitation or genuine feeling.

Your comment gives me hope. Elderly LGBTQ people used to be easy to find in the gay churches and their stories were fascinating. I bet you can find them doing volunteer work in your community. Go up and talk to elderly people who ping your gaydar. I think that you will be richly rewarded for your efforts.

🙂👋❤️ hi there Brittany yea true agreed 💯 😊

Ur. Truely wellcome 😊👍🏿❤️💜💛

Would you say lesbians are more/less disdainful towards their own kind who’ve had opposite-sex relations than gay men?

The older ones treat bis like that one older woman treated the non-binary. Very few of the granola generation (Boomers) are gold stars.

​@@nickc3657 i dont think its a competition. im a lesbian, 30 years old. i came out a decade ago. prior to that i was dating a boy for almost 4 years who i loved and cared about very much (hes a really great person with a great family, i hope he found himself a nice lady to be with). when i first showed up at the gay club with one of my best friends who was gay (and came out at the then unheard of age of like 14/15! way back in the early 00s) and i ran into someone else who i knew (and knew my ex-bf) who told me i didnt belong because i wasnt really gay and just doing it for attention. there were a lot of women back then that were disinterested in me the moment i opened up about my romantic history. i understood their fears that i was just "experimenting" and would run back to a man but it was so unfair. i was very self conscious of it. im very grateful to the up and coming younger generation - who are only a few years younger than me - old gen z'ers and very young millennials - who explored and promoted different concepts of gender than what i was brought up under and were far more tolerant of the fluidity of sexuality and even gender. the older millenials / young gen x'ers that i hung out around were not nearly as tolerant of the non-gold star lesbians like myself. nowadays no one cares and ive met a lovely woman who has a similar history to me (more men than me though) and even in the beginning she was worried that i was "too bi" for her even though i had been with 2 men in my entire life haha. were happy now though :) bi phobia is definitely real! i wonder how the bi men do, if they experience it in the gay men community. as for gay men, theyre the coveted marketing class by corporations because they have even more money than their straight counterparts and it shows. most gay men dont give a flying fuck about the LBTQ+s. some are really awesome - one of my best friends is a gay man, my gf's cousin is also another awesome gay man. but so many of them want nothing to do with us lesbians. and then theres all the "vaginas are gross" childish behavior of (mostly younger) gays. and theres far more gay clubs than lesbian/women oriented clubs. they have more money, more resources, and their community seems to have an appetite for going out more than the female side of the spectrum. most lesbians i know stopped going out by their later 20s.

@@sleekoduck non binary is made up nonsense not a sexual orientation.

@@sleekoduck you are going to have to explain what the term non-binary means before I can understand what you are saying. i watched some videos and read some articles on these new terms, but they must not have been very good, because I still don't understand much of it. sorry, no disrespect.

😊👋 hi there agreed 💯

I don't believe that everyone having poor intergenerational relationships at this moment in history is reason to say there is no problem and not attempt to address it. If anything, it's only reason to say the problem is wide-spread.

I think maybe a little more because of the middle generation that got almost wiped out by AIDS?

@@G60J60F80 Yes there is a generational problem in Western society generally, but having most of the elders being wiped out, especially by a crisis that could have been dealt with in a humane, empathic way, but Ed Koch and the Reagan administration denied funding. I think I should have directed this comment to the OP!

It's not about worrying, it's called having a conversation. You don't need an excuse to have a conversation 🙄

@@12345678abracadabra yeah, only that the media tends to exaggerate most issues

The women for the most part are still around. 😊 But why aren't young people bothering to get to know the older members of the community? Many are online and open to questions. There are community centers. I know religion isn't so fashionable now, but many elderly LGBTQ people are very active in the gay churches and their stories are fascinating. Take some initiative!

gay history is actually really flourishing, and one of the biggest points of intercommunal solidarity across the gender line! one of my favorite authors, sara shulman, helped to do an oral history of ACT UP, which is pretty easily available online. the real problem to me is the lack of centralization for community: we're more accepted now, sure, but there are less gay bars and you're way less likely to see a fellow queer person and greet them with a smile and a hug. I've been in a country in central asia for a few months now and even though the wider world is much more hostile to them, I've been greeted with an overwhelming kindness that was way harder for me to find at home in america. find some local organizations, or start your own! SAGE (the nonprofit that the elder gays are from, I'm pretty sure) has chapters across the united states, I'd be happy to help you find some contacts with your local if you'd like :)

vadleany vadleany sara shulmans books look very interesting i will check them out!! and thank u for clarifying!! that makes sense and it makes me pretty sad, and yes!! that would be nice of u!! haha

It's well documented. Do a search on Amazon or scour your local vintage book store. Talk to people. Volunteer.

Gay is also a label :) There have always been trans people, though not always with the power to express themselves as they were. It is unusual for trans people to stop being trans. It is not a phase.

​@@Velo-vl3qj I understand that gay is a label. My point is that labels are ultimately meaningless. I've slept with women and men. Does that make me straight? I write with my left hand but pitch with my right hand. Does that make me right handed? I used to love wearing dresses as a kid and would wonder if I was a girl. Does that make me trans? The answer to all of these questions is yes - and no. The point is not to grip too hard to the labels. I look forward to the day when we don't have to use any labels.

I have friends who were radical activists in the bi community in DC in the 1990s. A male and female married (Wiccan ceremony) and ended up having kids. To look at their Facebook pages, no one would ever guess that there was anything out of the ordinary about them now. I'm sure the OP has some friends like that as well. People shock you as they age.

Me too 😍

+

I was horrified at the complete lack of curiosity the younger people had about anything that wasn't Stonewall proper. You don't need a leader present to take some initiative.

I’m too afraid to join lgbt+ communities, I’m worried they’ll kick me out for being ace/aro.

aserquin I’m Demi/pan and in a long term relationship with a man and haven’t had anyone be nasty about it at all, you just have to find the right group :) I think a fair few of the choir would’ve possibly IDed as somewhere on the ace spec if it had been more well known when they were younger. I’ve talked a lot to one of the older members who I think said they have never dated (and they’re at least my parents age) and they just don’t really want to and they ‘guess’ they’re probably ace, but can’t be bothered to label it

I really liked the music. It brought the raw emotional context to the forefront. I don't think they had the music playing in the background while they actually talked, otherwise it would be choppy between cuts.

I couldn't put my finger on why I was feeling kinda uncomfortable or what exactly was happening. I certainly don't have a problem with the convo or the subject...I think that music is too heavy for this subject today. I feel like the music would better serve a subject about LGBTQ members who were talking about great atrocities they've faced, this particular subject seems much lighter given they are light-heartedly discussing differences between the generations only.

I'd say it's a cheap effect, that adds to the rather blurry conversations, that don't have the courage to let a pause sit or a confrontation build. Most of the best documentaries and reportings don't have any music - unless played in the shot scene itself, because they manage to really create/ capture interesting moments in the moment. But of course for a short youtube clip making tuning it a bit softer might seen appealing

I think that is what you have to do to keep people engaged. Looks of eyeballs in the market place, with tons of content to watch. Gotta make it sing i guess.

Reminds me of second world war news reels. They felt they had to emote the importance with serious music. DOM DOM DOM Hitler invades Poland etc etc.

who cares

@Lesbian Amazon Sister Begone TERF

It’s called bigotry

@Lesbian Amazon Sister trans lesbians are straight men with autogynephilia. They are not women.

They’re just being polite in asking. If you react that excited to a polite question you may need to do some self reflection.

sedecim you’ve stumbled unto the actual problem without realizing. The AIDS crisis all but wiped out the interim generations. That’s the problem. That’s the gap.

Oh, the entirety of Generation X are a bunch of homophobic Trump supporters who sit around scheming how to promote bullying against LGBTQ teens. The 90s never happened. Didn't you get the memo? BTW, LGB hippies are interesting, but you haven't lived until you have heard a coming out story from someone who came out in the 1950s. Those elderly people are national treasures.

@@SindriMjolnir not every LGBTQ person died from AIDS in the 1980s. Very few women caught it, and there are still plenty of gay men around who managed to survive. Take off the blinders.

Sleekoduck are you being serious? “Take off the blinders”? Damn, you’re edgy. Obviously not every single lgbtq person died from AIDS but a big portion of them did die. You can’t just wave that away. Have you talked to gay people from that generation? Every single surviver has a list a mile long of all their friends that died from the epidemic. If that’s not a “missing” generation, I don’t know what is.

@@SindriMjolnir clearly you aren't being serious. Have you read a single one of the eight million comments I've left here this morning? Such a patronizing question could only come from a 21 year old Gen Z labelphile or some extremely isolated Baby Boomer who never talked to another gay person until his sixties (and I have even met a few of those).

Generation Z thinks that they are the first people to come out on the internet. 😂😂😂 Don't you know that all Gen Xers are conservative homophobes? And of course Baby Boomers and the generations before them know nothing about computers and therefore don't matter or exist.

The concept of definable cultural “generations” is a social construction. It’s a gradient of lived experiences. Ageism (going both ways) is what keeps us apart. Many older folks are dismissive of younger folks, and many younger folks are dismissive of older folks. Friendship should transcend age. Community should transcend age. I think this is especially important with the lgbtq+ community because we often have to create new families within our community when blood family rejects us. I think many young lgbtq+ folk really don’t know their own history because of age segregation, and have bought into this cheap capitalist commodification of their identities because that’s all they’ve ever known.

@@sleekoduck theyre silly, as they are the second or third generation to come out on the internet. millennials definitely came out on the internet before them (hell, most of what i know about myself was thanks to having the internet at my fingertips) and im sure back in the nascent days of the internet there were some boomers and gen xers in their usenet groups as well (before my time). gen z is so silly sometimes.

I'm 30+ and there is no way in hell the younger generation would even look at me or god forbid speak to me. I don't even go to pride events anymore - what is the point? I'm not a hipster and I'm all alone so why go somewhere that will make me feel even more alone and as if I don't belong.

Brooklyn based fashion illustrator Richard Haines is anyone is interested.

It’s not that complicated (:

I promise it’s not that hard to grasp! ♥️ just google it, there’s a ton of articles out there that give good examples

Lesbian Amazon Sister you can be trans without fitting into the binary of “male” or “female” or being “boyish” or “girlish”, people can be a bit of both, or more of one than the other. If the binary fits someone, then they should use it. For some however, it doesn’t fit them and their gender expression.

@Lesbian Amazon Sister Must be nice to live in your simplistic world.

@Lesbian Amazon Sister if you have taken a DNA test, you might find that you have a SNP (genetic code) for homosexuality. TQ people could be intersex (born with double plumbing) or have had prenatal hormone fluxes that changed the physiology of their brains. The two issues, although entirely unrelated, are both 100 percent logical. Thanks for keeping the discussion lively, though! 👊

Yah. Though I feel like the reason for that is less about X themselves. There's a lot of tenstion between Babyboomers and Millennials so I feel like people focus on those two groups most. I do believe as Babyboomers and Millennials get older the focus will shift from them to Gen X and Gen Z as Gen Z will become more important as adults than teenagers and Gen X will start retiring.

Of been?

They turn let cominity making desition.

👌

👍

Watch.landlords invetion my privacy.

And next door invetion my privacy abused harassment call my parent s bich and buster that make upset more they been pass away 5 year indain from Indai muslim . Invetion my privacy.

Watch out muslim ☪️ brother .

Latin Tart I’m certainly not disagreeing that listening should be emphasised but I would point out that there is no one ‘gay history’. Often emphasising ‘labels’ is actually its own form of history telling and acknowledging those individuals whose identities were pushed aside by the gay community at the time (trans people, poc etc) is hugely important for our community to heal and grow.

@@nibnob7 Creating labels is a way to pigeon hole everyone into neat little categories and negate the experience of everyone else. Please enlighten me on how labels enhance the story of the gay man I met who was discharged from the army in the early 1960s and had to take a taxi to the next town so he wouldn't be robbed of the discharge payment he received in cash in front of a bunch of hardened criminals. Tell me how labels enrich the stories I heard from a lipstick lesbian who came out in the 1950s and used to hang out with her lipstick friends after work in Michigan's automotive industry. How are those stories improved because of labels?

@@charlieparker5346 and you just negated the experience of those two amazing people because they didn't have the label. Lesbians in the 1950s identified as butch, femme, and Kiki. They didn't go around introducing themselves as a femme lesbian cisgender in gender fluid careers. This kind of label-centricism is why some snotfaced 21 year old met a lady who came out the week of the Stonewall riots and decided to make the conversation about themself and the label they prefer. The naked hubris is appalling.

they were trying to be polite (asking "what pronouns do you use" is considered polite in their world) and didnt realize the older person was very confused by it.

asher 2789 it was confrontational because they knew old people aren’t involved in the pronoun discussion, because their political concerns are oriented toward more fundamental rights. ‘Let’s school the old person about pronouns’ is profoundly disrespectful. ‘IM TRANS MASC DONT YOU GET IT OLD LADY.’

she really didn't...if anything she bridged the gap by mentioning how both trans women and lesbians face a degree of exclusion in the community

@@lindseyb2586 why do you care

And how can I calm down when someone decides to gay-bash?

The reason the LGBTQ community focuses so much on sexuality and gender and the redefinition of them is in direct backlash to society at large focusing on these two topics, oppressively, and for a VERY long time. Generally, it was gay and trans people throughout history who tried to push back on the limits of gender and sexuality and were told, "nope, you HAVE to be defined by your gender/sexuality, as that is ALL society sees and ALL you are or ever can be." So when you say that gay people are defining their entire being by their sexuality it's like saying someone who was kept in a dark hole in the ground with no fresh air for 50 years is being "a bit obsessive" about seeing sunlight and grass for the first time. It's the backlash of being told what they can't do/couldn't be for so long centered around this point, breaking free. You're right though that gay people and trans people are ultimately way more than their gender or sexuality: they're people like you or me who shit and pay taxes and sing and have spiritual experiences far beyond labels or description. That's just not the central topic at hand in this moment in history.

@@magnificentgoldenbeast6099 1. You're not even on topic 2. Nobody but you is talking about their own specific sexuality here (why?) 3. You don't know my sexuality, and 4. You might want to look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, it deals with the common mental distortion of projecting that you just did there ;)

People identify "as it", rather than "with it" because they were denied it. It was also a way of fighting back, when being told they can't be lgbt+ they deliberately identified as it.

Trans women in sports are not up for debate. The LGBTQ community has spoken on that. Transwomen are women!

@@karamello24 - Naw dude. Transwomen are bio males.

I'll accept any transwoman as fully female who is out there fighting to keep women's reproductive rights and other issues important to women. I've yet to see it, though. Someone please prove me wrong.

@@sleekoduck Please check out Deep Green Resistance. I personally am an anti natalist. The leadership of the transgenderism movement does nothing to show how they enrich society, most of what I see is more meaningless self indulgence and with the concept of transing children, child abuse.

@@markadams8041 interesting group, but I was talking about specific issues related to being a woman. I've never seen announcements for trans/non-binary marches to Take Back the Night or TQ groups volunteering to escort patients at Planned Parenthood. For that matter, I don't recall ever hearing about TQ raising money for breast cancer research/treatment, even though anyone can get breast cancer. For all their talk about identifying as women, I sure don't see any things important to women.

But like, unironically, stop this pronoun nonsense. Everyone should be gender neutral

Funny how the old people who actually suffered discrimination weren't bothered by it. In other countries, the improper use of pronouns is how TQ kids are identified for hormone therapy and surgery. Living overseas and seeing very young children do this was how I realized that TQ is a real thing for some people, it made me more open minded. Maybe if English weren't so gender neutral, people would be more tolerant in English speaking countries. So don't dis traditional pronouns. You're making things more difficult for future generations.

I know you think you did something but transgender and non-binary identities are not new. At all. Read up on your own history.

Nice diss, but it contradicts itself, you can’t be cis, gender fluid, and trans all together

@@neuroseptember1020 it's ok. You just must enable the sarcasm detector on your RU-vid account.

That’s a lot of words to say “I’m an asshole”

Kind of ignorant. I interviewed an old butch woman for a newspaper article back in the 1990s and she went into some long explanation about her mother's hormone levels during pregnancy and all, voluntarily, without being asked. That was an older Baby Boomer explaining her butchness in the 1990s.

Dee trans masculine

KING PAPA BEAR kids gotta be cocky or they won’t make it. Ya know. You have to pretend you’re unafraid or else everybody will eat your lunch and to me that’s what the visibility is. It makes things appear not so hard but there’s still a lotta discrimination and danger involved with being out in the open.

I thought I was the only one.

Preach biaaach

@TheEpic Baker thank you CP+

We all want to be philosophers. So what? Also, do you even know what philosophy is? People are just talking about their problems in life and some general situations about the LGBTQ community.

Louis Olivarez - not everyone is a philosopher. Huge generalization. Many gay people are the opposite of the people in the video. They aren’t comfortable talking it about it, and are in the closet. And there are many people in between

By having an opinion on philosophy you too are a philosopher

How can LGBTQ people live their lives when they're gay-bashed and their feelings HURT, day in and day out?

John Lee ima stop you right there. Prior to the 2000s, yeah gays were unaccepted, but that is definitely not the norm now. With all my friends, gays included, they are not picked on and if it ever were to occur, they would immediately be called out for doing so and it would be handled. I dont see what bullying you are talking about, and if anything, they socially have more protection based on how sensitive this issue is

WHAT

trans, masc(uline), they, them, he, him are all commonly used words that help them definite themselves. i dont see the problem.

@@asher_2789 "trans masculine" Just call yourself a man my guy. 🤷‍♀️

@@pastelpurpledeathbed if you call yourself trans masc, you are a woman. Born a female and you die female. Hopefully this girl will grow up and find more meaningful things in life than this gender nonsense.

male and female what? I really don't know if that's a sentence my dude

Cosmo P. - you’re just homophonic, and your point doesn’t even make sense. Gay people are born from straight people, so your point makes not sense.

NO.

❤️ love is the answer

I mean as long as they don't choose for other people like I dunno... James Charles, he's lgbstq+ right?!? Or like adopting children, who let's be honest can't decide for themselves? ( Hopefully you understand why and I don't need to explain). And they don't block the city for fucking walking in the middle of the street... As long as they follow these statements I am full force supporter of LGBTQ+

How ironic. Jesus would be fine with LGBTQ+.. it's the churches that are not.