I was misdiagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's 25 years ago. It turned out to be a large brain tumor and was successfully removed. I had this experience for several years and wrote a book about it. It was very difficult to write with impaired memory. I would struggle with a chapter for a week only to find I had written it the week before.
The intro to this is the best attempt I have ever seen at trying to show the first person experience of someone with dementia or memory loss. Damn - well done.
I worked in a building with a guy like this. It wasn't part of my job, but there was a notice that went out to all employees to under no circumstances let him leave the building, since he would occasionally decide that it's nice out and throw on a jacket to head out for a walk, regardless of the actual weather conditions. He seems perfectly normal at first, pleasant to speak with... until 5 minutes went by and you notice that he doesn't remember that you convinced him not to wander out into a blizzard, nor where he was or how he got there. But things were going well at the moment, he was having a friendly conversation with someone nice, so he just kept on smiling. I had to walk him back to his apartment because his wife had fallen asleep and wasn't answering her phone. When we opened his door he looked around at his own house and said that I had a nice place. He was so happy to see his wife when she walked out to see who he was talking to. She asked where he'd been, and he told her he was just about to head out for a walk. That day, catching a glimpse into his life of endless strange rooms and corridors, of strangers who knew his name... sometimes I still think about it and cry. And he has no idea that it ever happened.
That was a very interesting story, thank you for writing it. I couldn't imagine living with such a condition. You become automa quickly, just robotic actions. Complex thought requires a working memory capacity, and even in the video, you can see the guy sounds like he is getting less responsive.
My grandpa was a guy like that. He would get it in his head that he wanted to go out for a walk, and being an old electrical engineer would easily bypass the magnetic locks on the front door, and waltz right out of the building. If he was caught in the act he would happily explain that it was nice out and wanted to go for a walk, but the automatic door was stuck closed so he was trying to fix it because it was a fire hazard, and even invite the staff to join him to go to whatever shop he wanted to visit. If he wan't caught, then he would get super confused when the shop he was looking for (which was owned by an old friend of his) wasn't there and was replaced by a fast food restaurant 50 years previous. And then he would get super confused and bothered, and the police would have to take him back, and he wouldn't know where they were taking him or why so he would fight back... it was tough.
Had this in my first semester. The worst thing about it was how depressed Clive was in the beginning. He had a notebook where he wrote stuff like "I am here" with the time but he just couldn't remember writing it down so he crossed it and did it all over again. With patient H.M. I thought that it's sad how he was just seen as the perfect test subject. He was very willing to do tests for hours. And the scientist who studied him intensely was also very happy to gatekeep him from the rest of the world.
@@killgriffinnow wrong conjecture. Read up on the scientific method. Normalcy ≥ IQ 130. Technically you are in the same boat with Clive and 90%+ of the yt-herd. That's how braindamage can be defined.
@@killgriffinnow I have a class about ethics and in the german ethical science rules (BER/ Berufsethische Rechtlinien) for psychologists we have the obligation to get informed consent (with exceptions but they have to be discussed and checked by others), control yourself and others to protect the scientific integrity (keep the high standards and trust of the general population). But patient H.M. is a really difficult case ethically speaking because it didn't harm him directly (he forgot everything of course) but in my opinion this scientist acted very selfish and used him for her gain. As far as I know she kept his brain and thinking about H.M. capability to give consent he really had no choice but to have his body donated to science or her science to be more specific. Really dehumanising
After watching this video I was reminded of a documentary I watched about a famous mental health hospital in London called Bedlam Mental health Facility (that's where the word "bedlam" as in "it was bedlam in the courtroom" comes from) and there was a woman who came in who had EXTREME depersonalisation-derealisation disorder-she didn't know who she was, where she was, even what she was at some points, she just walked around rubbing her face and saying things like "where am I" and "what am I" in a really distressing way as well as thinking she had died now and again and it hit home to me just how important memory is (although I know you can have DDD and not have memory problems she definitely did) .The interesting thing is how they cured her-firstly they tried anti-depressants and talking therapy but there was no way to talk with her for obvious reasons so they decided to try electro shock therapy which snapped her right out of it and got her back to her usual self. The strange thing though isn't that they used electro shock therapy but that it didn't actually do anything physically as such, it was more of a placebo and the fact that she THOUGHT it would do something was enough to get her back to herself. It turned out that she had seen her husband being nearly run over by a car and the fear of losing him caused her brain to just "break" (for want of a better phrase) which is why the suggestion that EST would work was enough to snap her out of it. I have to admit though it was such a scary thing to watch, seeing her in such distress like that, I've had high doses of ketamine a few times for induction to surgery and the depersonalisation from that was freaky enough and that was with foreknowledge of what to expect-i can't imagine how scared she must have been, not even knowing what she was let alone who she was. The memory is a fascinating thing and there's so so much we still don't know about it
Your point about "what makes an interesting person" is so fascinating to me, because it's the exact opposite of how I live my life. I'm a passionate generalist. I enjoy getting into new things, but have no desire to take them to an advanced level. I can fly an airplane - if we're talking about a Cessna 150 in good weather. I can SCUBA dive - if we're talking about a guided tour somewhere. The list goes on. I run into the people who make that one hobby their life and it's like "Eh, no thanks". I'd rather jump into something new, and learn a few chords on the guitar, or how to change my oil, or how to repair holes in drywall. There's just so much out there. The coolest part is that after a while you start to see common themes between activities, and it makes the world feel more connected and understandable.
A few years ago I took care of my Aunt, who had Alzheimer's, she was in her 80s. The way she would get in the car, when we went for a ride, was potentially dangerous (she would face the same direction as the car and lifting one leg and kinda plopping down and falling sideways into the passenger's seat. So I began to help her into the car by having her face away from the car and sit like in a chair, then I helped her turn and lift her legs and rotate into the seat safely. I did this every time mostly because I was afraid she would injure herself. After a week or so, we were going to go for a ride and she walked to the passenger side of the car and was just standing there, I asked why she was standing there and she said she was waiting for me to help her. She formed a new memory through repetition of the process, and she would do that every time after that. I was blown away, I was a Certified Nurses Aid for 8 years and this was something new to me. Thanks Joe, I really like your channel, one of the few I watch regularly, for years.
I saw a BBC documentary about Clive Wearing years and years ago and it was incredibly sad - one of the things his wife said at the time to describe his persona after the viral brain infection was “the Cliveness of Clive” had almost disappeared completely along with his memory function. That phrase has stayed with me all these years.
My father has something very similar. I've been taking care of him for 6 months now and it is so hard. He has forgotten how to clean himself but puts on a good show to make it look like he is functional. He's erased everything from his past and replaced it with some dream of the perfect life he wished she had. Every day he doesn't even remember I'm his son.
@@Ana-ko9px thanks, but I am alone here. I have two sisters and a brother that live in town here and they don't even help. And unlike the man in the video, my dad has always had a mean heart. And that's what he results back to in his reset face.
@@CDE.Hacker I mean there are other people going through the same thing. Reach out to online or in person support groups for primary caretakers to find a community to support your mental health through this challenging time
Hearing that he was a musician moved me to tears, I was so scared he'd lost that - when it got to the part where he was playing and singing I was sobbing, it was so amazing and wonderful and moving. Music is magic. Much love to Clive, and a happy birthday!
This is actually a very interesting common factor in memory loss and brain damage. It would seem emotional attachments are strong enough that they are some of the last things to go in cases of deterioration over time. My grandfather had a stroke in his late 60's and right after he was mostly fine but over time the neurological damage advanced and he had more strokes which made him slowly deteriorate to a point of losing most of his mental faculties to communicate and express himself clearly. But even then when they would do the cognitive tests to see where he was in terms of actual coherence, even though he couldn't really speak anymore or focus on tasks as the test was asking (like the question would ask you to draw a circle on the left hand side of the page and draw a square inside the circle so that all four corners touch the outline of the circle and he'd do nothing like that) he would still write out things like "I love my beautiful wife" and what not until he eventually lost the ability to write close to the end of his life. So even when they could no longer really gauge how much he could understand and then process correctly (they could no longer tell if he could actually hear people talking to him or understand verbal instructions since he showed no responses to them) if you gave him a pen and paper he knew how to use them and was at least aware of memories of people he was very attached to. Something else that always really blew my mind about the human brain was he forgot how to speak in English years before he could no longer speak and he could only speak in German (his first language), but when he'd write it was still always in English and never once in German. He also could still understand English spoken to him he just couldn't reply in English the reply would always come in German. Even more interesting was he wasn't fully aware he was speaking in German at first when he lost the ability to use speak English, for a little while he'd be confused why people didn't understand or why my grandmother was repeating exactly what he said before he'd get a reply; it took him a little while to wire his brain to realise he was not responding in English and actually "hear" that he was not responding in English when he spoke. There were some other really interesting emotionally tied memories that seemed to stick around and pop out more often when he was losing his long term and short term memory later on as well. Like my parents had a really bad falling out with my grandparents decades before my grandfather had his first stroke and it wasn't until a couple of years after the stroke that my parents and grandparents came to terms over the falling out, then years later when my grandfather's memory started going anytime he was alone with just my parents and grandmother he would usually check and ask my parents about them making up like he wasn't sure if his memories of them making up where real or just something he wished would happen he was mistaken for a real memory. Our brains are CRAZY place!
I usually come away with one more thing to worry about after my Monday morning Joe time ( I swear I didn't mean for it to sound that creepy) but after this video I sat back and felt extremely thankful for my current mental state. I know its going to get worse as I go but today I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the "not yet".
I loved that intro! And this episode as a whole. I have dissociative amnesia, so on a much more minor level, I can understand some of the struggles he's had. Sometimes losing days or weeks at a time and not even realize it until someone asks me about it, never being sure if my memory is correct or not, and even how you sometimes remember feelings even if you don't remember the cause of the feelings. Having a "swiss cheese memory" is genuinely awful, and not something I'd wish on another person.
I don't have any diagnosed memory issues or anything but I swear some things are just a total blur. I've gotten used to people reminding me of events that don't ring a single bell AT ALL. But yet I remember the most mundane useless information and have no idea why I know about it.
@@joescott It’s really wild what your brain holds onto and what it doesn’t! I’ve also got a lot of useless information or factoids and stuff bc I watch videos like yours all day, but ask me about a conversation I had yesterday and there’s just nothing! It can be really distressing and frustrating at times- it’s a really vulnerable place to be in, because I have to judge if what people say is true just based on how plausible it is bc I have no memory to refute it. I also would love to say- the intro you did was fantastic. It genuinely captured that experience of suddenly finding yourself in some different place and doing something you don’t remember starting. Even though my amnesia doesn’t work the same way, it still felt familiar. You did an amazing job with it!
I have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder for about 12-13 years, and the amnesia we experience whenever one of us switches is the part which we will never be able to get used to. Not knowing how I came somewhere or what I have done/haven't done, etc.. sometimes for days on end, is truly something I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Our system at least is very good at writing down memories and stuff that are experienced by another alter, but still feeling like we're losing important parts of our life and not knowing when it'll happen is terrifying for us
@@Patches2212 Yeah, that’s what causes my amnesia also, it’s just usually less of a hassle to just say the amnesia part- but we’ve only known for two years. We have a sort of… continuity of consciousness in that we don’t experience the “waking up somewhere I wasn’t” part, but our amnesia is pretty bad. We dissociate a LOT so it really fucks us up sometimes. I completely get the fear. We don’t write things down much, bc we forget, but we do take a LOT of pictures and screenshots, and it serves kind of a similar function for us for the most part
@@ctartistry360 I really appreciate the offer and the sentiment around it, but I think I’ll decline 😅 It’s very kind of you but I’m not a “God-ly” person. Thank you, though💕
I think the most uplifting thing about this situation is how much LOVE CONQUERS ALL. Joe this is one of those videos that make me (hopefully others as well) really appreciate what I have. Clive and his wonderful wife have something we can learn something from.
I had transient global amnesia for about 10 hours. Finally came out of it in the hospital. I can tell you that having a dysfunctional memory only lasting a few seconds or minutes like that is the same as not existing. My brother tells me I told him to end me during my episode. I, of course, have no memory of what happened in those 10 hours.
I had a stroke 3 years ago and lost like 2 years of memory before that, couldnt recognize my girlfriend at the time, that shit was scary as all hell. Brain damage is one hell of a drug
@@mrnadra6843 hope you continue to recover. I have a chronic illness. It's only when you experience something like that for yourself do you realise how hard it is when you get sick. Take care ♡
The way you describe his ability to, on a unconscious level do certain things, but doesn't have a conscious memory of ever learning and doing those things, it sounds alot like how most of my dreams are. I just exist in the scenario that my mind creates and never question what I'm supposed to do or when and how I got there. I just know what I'm supposed do and how I'm supposed to feel about the people and surroundings without ever having any memory of the past events of the scenarios beginnings.
@@shamicentertainment1262 Nightmares are the only dreams I seem to have the unconscious ability to change. Example, I'll be have a nightmare and as I get more scared and uncomfortable, I'll just change it to be funny or turn the table on the thing that's scaring me. The whole time I don't ever become conscious of what I just did while in the dream, I just exist in the new scenario I created then wake up not long after.
@@councilornevec8249 That sounds alright, when its really bad I wake up scared or with a feeling of dread and I'm unsure of whether it's all real or not lol. Sometimes I wake up in my room but I'm still dreaming, it all gets weird sometimes.
I have a memory disorder, caused by a seizure disorder I developed whilst serving in the armed forces. I thank my lucky stars it's nowhere near as bad as this. Not being able to remember beyond a day or two without some kind of 'trigger', (don't know if that's the right word), is rough. But I can still follow along with a show/ television series. I can watch a full movie and it makes sense. I can learn something new, and be able to apply it in a future situation that I never imagined I would, simply because the knowledge is there. I feel for this guy, and all others who have to live a life like that. It must be so scary.
I need constant 'triggers' to remember things too. Only for me, a psychotic episode years ago caused it. Without a trigger, it's like the memory is wiped as soon as the moment disappears. Maybe some fuzzy conceptual blur of it will remain. Like "I went to a concert of artist X". But in what year, which city, with who I went, and what songs they played, I cannot recall without more triggers. I have since accepted this being my experience. But I still struggle with other people assuming I might be lying, or that I never cared enough to remember.
Clive's condition seems kind of devastating after seeing the clip of his wife describing how he performed live. His inability to remember doing it is one thing, but his inability to hold onto the emotion of discovering he was that capable is poignant. Well, not for him, obviously
Just on ten minutes, I just said, loudly, "Yes!" I am never bored by people with a passion. Their enthusiasm, their desire to have me understand what interests them, what promoted that interest, all of it is fascinating. (I sometimes wonder if it was cause or effect that resulted in my two sons being on the spectrum with ridiculously specified interests)
I actually have something similar to Clive. I don't have amnesia but I DO have seizures. I can be watching a video on RU-vid for example and all of a sudden I wake up and it's 12 hours later, my mouth is full of blood, I am laying on the floor and can't move my right arm and I am in a different room than my most recent memory.
"0 in tennis, everything in life." This is one of the most interesting quotes I have ever come across, though I am completely unsure what I think about it. I have an emotional response to hearing it, but I also feel that, for him, it was more of logical response, if that makes sense. It's like he was reciting the back of a well studied note card from memory, the front of which contained the prompt, "Love." It also seems simultaneously deep and superficial, an expression of personality and a product of brain damage. Ok, so I am kind of answering my own question here, but I'm rambling a bit and overthinking a lot probably, and I'm not sure this interpretation even makes sense. I would be a frustratingly terrible psychologist. I like this quote. I guess I'll just stick with that.
Amazing and terrifying that one's experience of reality can be lost or scrambled by an injury to such a small part of the brain. Most people give little daily thought to the finger-hold we have on our past and our daily experiences.
I absolutely love this channel. Be far the best on RU-vid in my humble opinion. Full of interesting facts, humour and almost always finishes on a positive note (regardless of the fact most of them videos are about the end of the world…) Thank you joe. Keep up the good work.
My personal interpretation is that Clive is not a conscious being. When he describes his experiences as "death" and being "completely incapable of thinking." To me, this seems to be what he's actually experiencing. Not the "stunned awakenings" that Deborah mentions. He doesn't remember any of those. I don’t think we're capable of conscious thought unless we're forming long term memories. Itd be like being an infant again. Theyre largely unconscious.
The Multiple Drafts Model suggests that our sense of a continuous self is created by constant revisions and updates to these "drafts." In Wearing's case, his inability to form new long-term memories means that these drafts are extremely short-lived and don't contribute to a sense of ongoing narrative. Wearing's experience aligns with the model's idea that consciousness is not a unified stream. His consciousness seems to reset every few seconds, creating a series of disconnected "drafts" that don't inform each other. The model proposes that normal consciousness involves the integration of multiple cognitive processes. Wearing's condition demonstrates what happens when this integration fails - specifically when new sensory information can't be incorporated into a broader context of remembered experience. Despite his episodic memory loss, Wearing retains some abilities, like playing music. This aligns with the Multiple Drafts Model's view that different types of cognitive processes can operate independently. Wearing's experience of constantly feeling he has just woken up illustrates how, without the ability to retain and integrate past "drafts," consciousness becomes a series of disconnected present moments. Wearing's condition supports the model's rejection of a central consciousness "viewer." His experience suggests consciousness emerges from the interplay of various cognitive processes rather than being observed by a central entity.
@@RhumpleOriginal so you're saying you agree, he's not really conscious because he can't form these new revisions, or remember any past one's? This entire comment is fascinating.
@@RhumpleOriginal ahhh OK. I see what you're saying now. Any good resources for reading more about the multiple drafts model? Your explanation is fascinating and I want to know more.
Once met a man in his mid fifties who had suffered severe brain damage because of a carcrash. The crash was his fault. He was drunk when it happened. His wife had died in that crash. The thing is: he didn't remember that. He didn't know why he was in hospital. He didn't know why he was alone and his wife wasn't with him. Much to my horror some of the staff in that hospital took delight in everytime he asked just bluntly state: " Your wife is dead. You crashed your car while drunk and killed your wife." Everytime that devistated the man, because he had no recollection of any of that and to him it was like hearing it for the very first time. My heart broke when that happened. I was in no position to stop those people from torturing that poor man. It was horrible. Just horrible. Day after day. Sometimes more than once in one day. Horrible.
@@LetsGoSomewhere87 I was there as a patient, pretty beat up myself. Litteraly couldn't speak at that time, just out of a coma. I was young too and not yet as outspoken as I would be today - this was more than 35 years ago.
@@BarbaraJikai well shit, guess you were in a bad spot to help. Thats so sad they would do that, I get being mad at what the guy did, but damn! I worked in prison for a bit, and there were guards that made it their mission to make the inmates life hell, I was under the impression that the time locked up was the hell, so treated them like humans, with the understanding that on my ride home something could happen that would land me next to them. Cant judge a while life off a bad few min/hours!
It always frustrates me when I see nurses and staff do those kinds of things to their patients. Putting that kind of grief on someone who doesn't understand what it is you're telling them is just unnecessarily cruel. It doesn't matter if you're telling them the truth, they don't understand it. They're forcing their patients to relive that trauma and grief over and over again. It does nobody any good. Some nurses seem to enjoy that power dynamic, though.
I picked up a martial art again after 5 years of not doing it, though I couldn’t remember in detail any of the routines, once I started to move,. My body just kept going. It’s crazy what out brains can tuck away. Same goes for a song you haven’t sang in 15 years but somehow still have memorized.
I have enjoyed Olando di Lasso's music since I was a kid. He's a composer from the Late Renaissance and certainly one of the better known composers of his time. Unfortunately for popular recognition his time was eclipsed by the Baroque and particularly Bach. But I was lucky enough to grow up in England in the 50s and was exposed to a fair amount of classical music via the BBC radio.
I watched this documentary recently with my girlfriend. This was the first time she had seen me cry. Very powerful, moving, devastating, and hopeful for enduring love. Memories are precious
You are right about music, which I think the medical scientist should do more studies on it. I have developed travel anxiety. I do not take any medication for it. Before going on a long distance trip, my mind starts to race like 1000 mph. I discovered that if I listen to loud fast music like the speed of my anxiety, the music takes the place of the negative, fearful and non stop voices in my head. After within 10 minutes of listening to this type of music, the voices and fears start to fade away, and I feel more confident to travel and more relaxed. But there are some music that I cannot listen to because it triggers a deep depression. It’s not the words of the music but the rhythm/sound. I like the music that I grow up with but not too much, because it will than make me very sad, so I listen to music (mostly fast instrumental music) that has mostly up beat sounds and new to me.
nice tip! will try it next time i have my anxiety. Oh, I can totally relate with last part you said , for me it always a slow rhythm combined with sappy vibrato vocal that has echo (i don’t know if this count as depressed) could trigger this, strange, uncomfortable, feeling right in chest area it made me frowned for no reason too. Sensation go away immediately if i stopped that song right away. I’ve got that since i was about 6. hate that sensation because it could return right after post credit song in movie especially from Japan have no idea why a happy movie always ended with slow and heavily reverberated sappy song. (Celine dion titanic and ave maria does not trigger it because it is very energetic in delivery)
@@MaseraSteve I hope it works for you. I actually just got back from a 2 1/2 day trip on the train. Right before getting on the train, I had to listen to my music along with a cup of tea to stay relaxed. Half way back on the train, I had a pretty bad anxiety attack, the ones where your body starts to tremble. I meditated for more than 2 hours while looking at family pictures and doing breathing exercises as well as muscle relaxation. (I was traveling alone) I should have listen to my music, it might have ended my anxiety quicker. I have other techniques for my anxiety beside music. Other than that, I completed my trip, and it was epic. For the most part, I kept myself busy enough on the train to avoid negative thoughts creeping up into my mind.
11:20 some years ago I saw an HBO Alzheimers documentary that featured a man that could still sing with his pro-level choir group (even as the lead.) He had essentially no memory beyond a few mins, but as soon as he went on stage he knew exactly what to do.
I'd imagine his life will just be more or less instant death. Like with going to sleep and waking up, the time in between can seem instantaneous. For us, with normal memory, we are able to communicate with Clive, like speaking with an advanced AI, he can respond, but he's not really there. I think his life will be going stupidly quick to him because he won't have any ability to track the changes of his life. In a way, I hope for his sake it is almost instantaneous, because I can't imagine living that hell for that many years.
I hope he has been able to find comfort throughout his life in certain activities. Because this sounds like a living hell, he probably feels like he is stuck in a nightmare
I was in a car crash some 20+ years ago. With injuries and narcotic drug therapy, I have the most issue with where I have just recently placed various needful things. Keys, wallet, glasses. Looking for some times a half hour, they are generally a short ways away, right where I last place them....in a useless attempt to avoid the very problem.
I presume (like I do a lot with these videos) there is a difference between memories, sight, smell, sound ect with neural pathways generated around language, motor function ect
I had memory and Clive Wearings last semester. So yes, his procedural memory is intact, which is implicit and also his semantic memory is intact. I'm not sure but from what I remember he should be able to gain more motorskills. He just wouldn't remember the situation while he learned it.
That type of retrograde amnesia happened in a stage of his life after he'd learned to read and perform music, so those weren't affected. Wasn't the same as my mother, whose brain injury from being struck by a drunk driver wiped out all her memories and sense of self. She was sixteen when it happened, and had to restart almost from square one. She did understand what people said to her, but she knew no one, not even family, or her very name. It took decades for her to get even a little bit of those memories back. Most of it is gone forever. Who she is now is Self 2.0. She's just supremely fortunate she made a complete physical recovery aside from this (her body was shattered as well) and a very slight inclination to be a bit forgetful now and then; not enough to impede her from still living a fairly full life. The one thing that she fears now is that occasional forgetfulness masking an onset of Alzheimer's. There's no family history of the disorder, but it can still happen to anyone.
@@ZeoViolet Yep. I feel you on that one. My grandmother developed pretty serious dementia and lost her ability to form short-term memory, and this was just after my father, her son, passed away. I can't tell you how hard it was to explain to my grandmother every time I saw her what happened to my dad (he passed away from complications related to pancreatic cancer). That was a rough patch.
That was really interesting and reminded me of a topic I would love to see you do an episode on: Split Brain Syndrome. The human brain is really fascinating!
I once experienced short term amnesia... I was in a park with my friend and as from my perspective, one second I was on a swing, the next I was looking up at a white ceiling in a hospital bed 🤷🏻♂️ According to my friend tho, I had fallen backwards off the swing as I had a dodgy chain, hit my head off the ground, sat back up and didn't know where I was, who he was, where I lived - which was luckily not far and he took me home where my mum took me to the hospital after quickly realising I wasn't joking that I didn't know who she was. I Don't remember any of the in between, it feels more like I was hijacked/possessed for a while then plopped back into my own mind, no idea where "I" went.
I knew a guy with a version of this affliction. Every time he worked out of town, he forgot he was married. (Ta-dum!) Thank you so much. Don’t forget to tip your servers! I’ll be here all weekend.
My memory is terrible, but it may be treatable with some therapy and it's luckily not too bad. That said, sometimes it's really like the intro for me, just less extreme. Like, I'm relaxing in my bedroom and then I'm suddenly in the kitchen with no clue how or why I got there. I thankfully take my meds under supervision, because I'd literally forget an hour later if I took them or not
As someone who struggles with anterograde amnesia, I was filling in Joe’s words before he said them. I haven’t seen this video before, but “exist” is exactly the way to describe how it feels with amnesia. Spot on.
A friend of mine fell this past March and suffered a TBI. She's experiencing anterograde amnesia as well as some mild speech and motor difficulties. She wakes up every morning thinking that it's still the middle of March and only retains memories for about 15-20 minutes. Thankfully, her memories prior to her accident are intact. She keeps notes in a journal about her day, meals, water intake, meds.... Since her brain is still recovering, I hope she'll get some of that back. I can't imagine what it's like.
His wife is beautiful. Both aesthetically and as a person. Her love and devotion for her husband over all these years when she could have easily just abandoned him, knowing he'd never be aware of it, is just astounding. Just an incredibly beautiful human being.
Deborah left him after 7 years and moved to New York, and when choosing between being able to see her husband once in a while to a green card which would mean she can't see him for the time a green card takes, she returned to England and in the mid 90's she asked the only Christian she knew to pray for her over the phone, and she had a spiritual awakening and her loneliness fell away. She renewed her vows and has been with him since, seeing him every month.
To really understand this gentleman's life, one must see the movie, Memento, 2000, it will blow your mind about the lives of these people with short memory spans, and the lengths they must take to remember the important things in their lives... what a solid, mind blowing thriller of a movie!
I'll bet his emotional input to his post dementia performances are just a replay - not deep and real in the here and now. I just made a post on that point emotion lost from art while technical ability remains or even improves. I didn't know about Tony.Thanks.
I'm fairly certain I will have dementia eventually. My short term memory is already absolutely shocking for a guy in my 20s and my grandmothers on both parents sides had dementia. If it does happen, I honestly think I'd rather just die, and my mother has said too that she'd rather just die if she gets dementia too, than live in constant confusion and need of assistance. I tried listening to that 6 hour music album thing that simulates the stages of dementia and it made me break down in tears. I can't imagine how hard this mans life must be but it's fantastic his wife still supports him and it's great that he remembers how much he loves her.
I remember this from a good few years ago and remember that he said that "seeing his wife was like seeing for first time again" ... And the pure emotion he shows when he see's her is *beyond* beautiful.... As is her hair-ruffle and laying her head on his shoulder.
My mother had dementia the last 20 years of her life and it was pretty shocking to deal with. This is on another level and I can't imagine what being around someone with this problem.
People who have never had a brain injury that affects memory have no idea how complicated memory is. It's far more than just recalling something. The fact he could make a cup of coffee is okay. If a person had zero memory at all, they would be like a newborn baby. He remembers some things, and that doesn't make his diagnosis any less drastic.
For everyone asking about his love for his wife and wondering how he remembers her . . . As I understand it, he doesn't remember her. This is the result of classical conditioning - he knows how he feels when he is with her. It doesn't sound as romantic when you link it to stimulus/response, but I think it still is because it is still a learned response. Unfortunately, not all men have such a positive emotion as the default when they see their wives. Years ago had a client with Korsakoff syndrome and he was always pleased to see me even though he never had any idea who I was. Sometimes he thought I was his social worker (which wasn't right, but was at least close), but usually he thought I was a friend of his daughter or possibly a neighbor. We always had nice talks, so he was spontaneously pleased to see me again. More low key than Clive and Deborah, but the same principle. Hope thist helps.
Thanks Joe. My father had an aneurism and brain surgery to resolve the problem. Your video was thoughtful and compassionate, unlike so much of the internet. To see someone you love lose short term memory is hard. My father knew we were his children, but to him I became john his brother, and he knew where he was, but he called it the name of where he grew up. Initially in the hospital the nurses would visit every hour to assess his condition and always ask the same questions. What is your name? Blank response, Who is this? Pointing to me he would reply John. Where are you? He would say that he was in hospital because "Where else would a nurse ask you silly questions." Strangely when they pushed this further and asked which hospital he would tell them Charing Cross Hospital. When they asked how he knew this he told them he had laid the gas pipes to the hospital 40 years ago. Memory is weird and the brain is so fragile.
“Selective memory,” I woke up this morning thinking about how advanced my “selective hearing” is, & wishing I had “selective seeing,” & a selective sense of smell,” that’s as advanced as my sense of taste! #FreeWill
I’m glad you explained the different types of memory. I saw a documentary about him and one thing that confused me was that he had false teeth but he wasn’t constantly trying to figure out why he had these things in his mouth but could use them and talk normally with them even though he didn’t have them before his memory loss
My maternal grandmother had a stroke in her late 60s. Her long term memories prior to the stroke remained intact. From that time on though, she could no longer form new long term memories and lived in about a 90 second to maybe 180 second loop. I was maybe 8 or 9 when she had the stroke. Even though we only saw her a few times a year at most because of living far apart, when her and my grandfather moved in with us near the end of their lives, she still knew who I was and recognized me at around 15-16 years old. My younger sister was adopted and my grandmother never really got to see her much in the time before the stroke. So when she came to live with us, she would freak out about my sister being in the house because she had no idea who she was. My grandad was the most patient man I have ever known. He cared for her totally by himself for many years before they finally came to live with us. He was in his early eighties when they moved in with us. I never once saw him lose his cool or get impatient with my grandmother even though her behavior could often be VERY infuriating even if totally innocent. He only outlived her by a few months. In his words, "He had done his job and it was time to go." Like Clive, she could still play music and sing from memory. She had been a pastor's wife and played the church piano. I grew up listening to her play and sing hymns. When they came to live with us, she would often play and sing. It was cool and strange at the same time. She would often argue with us about whether or not she had eaten a meal even though her plate was still sitting right in front of her. Fortunately, she was a very sweet person by nature and never got angry like some people do when they start having serious memory issues. We could usually distract her until she forgot that she might be upset about something. The experience with her was VERY different than it was with my paternal grandmother who eventually died after years of severe Alzheimer's. She didn't even recognize her husband of 66 years. She grew frightened, angry, paranoid, and eventually become totally withdrawn and unable to even speak. However, when I last saw her, she was humming a familiar hymn. I'd like to think that somewhere in there, she wasn't alone in the end.
I have known about this case for a long time, I have watched the documentary multiple times. I myself have moments of very large and scary dissociation. One time this happened and I tried to write down what I was feeling, as per my therapists request. I just wrote down "I feel like Clive. I am alive for the first time. I don't want to go back to sleep". The next day I read this and was honestly pretty freaked out. Do I have a sleeping part of my brain that only wakes up when I dissociate? Its weird. I haven't talked to my therapist about it yet.
My wife got a injection in her back and it caused temporary amnesia. She could not write anything longer then 5 seconds to her memory. She couldn't remember anything less than 1 year ago. It was scary,. She would ask for me when separated and when she got the CT scan. She remembered me. We've been together 13 years. The episode lasted for 3 hours. Then she was normal. She cannot recall anything for those 3 hours
I just stumbled across this in my reccomended feed. As an empath, the scene where you say "he was married and every time he sees his wife he rushes to her like it's the first time" broke me😭 We take our memory for granted. I never ever watched Vine because such tiny snippets fragments concentration and was never enough to gain my interest but Vine format style shorts may be perfect for him.
As someone's who has done psychedelics, some of what he said that i remember years ago is crazy, he can have a continuous ego revival and realization of whats happening just to forget and repeat it again. He would write down that hes back (consciously) and be so estatic to then forget and repeat it all over. Its basically hell for your consciousness.
I worked with a guy with anterograde amnesia. The last thing he remembered was the car accident in which his brother died. He had to have a support person with him to work so basically I had to tell them what he was to do and they would help him do it. Unfortunately it was a kennel and he couldn’t stay away from the dogs that weren’t friendly so the risk of him getting injured. The person that replaced him had much different problems and she don’t work out either and that was then end of that program.
Anyone who's ever played an instrument beyond a beginner level will tell you, no matter how long you've been away from it, even if you haven't touched it for years- you pick it back up and within a minute it's like you never left. Like riding a bike almost, your mind forgets, but your body remembers
Your statement on becoming an expert in specific things reminds me of Simone Giertz. "If you want to be the best at what you do, you do something that no one else does." Or something to that effect.
I had anterograde amnesia for about 12 hours after bashing my head at a waterslide park when I was in my teens. It was terrifying. BUT ... I, at least, knew my life story. Who I was, who my family was, where I was, as it was familiar territory. That long term memory ended at about the point I was lining up for the slide. For that half day, I lived on a 30second loop, and the memories of the last moments disappearing as fast as they were laid down. I understand from family that I spent most of that day in tears from not understanding what was going on. To go through what he has with the goldfish memory, but without the stability of that stack of long term memory must be awful, and horrifically lonely. I feel so much for this guy.
@@OGDailylama Sounds like some classist BS to me. I pay $120/mo. +Hosting. Pretty sure RU-vid/FB/et.al. need to be paying US for our data. Check yoself, 'Brahmin'.🙄 ~Thus He Spake.
The first 2 mins are part of the video. It's not some drawn-out intro that gets copied and pasted on to every video to get extra watch time. It's there to give some sense of how it feels to live like that.
Hi Joe. Have you considered doing a video on transient global amnesia? That is when a person suddenly and out of nowhere gets amnesia that last for a few hours to a day. This happened to my dad last year and it was as if he all of a sudden got severe Alzheimers. He would not remember what we talked about ten minutes earlier and he called his job 7 times within 30 minutes to ask about his schedule. This lasted from the early afternoon til late at night. Next morning he was back to normal. I have been looking for videos to find out more about this condition and there is not a lot out there. I really enjoy your videos and I think you would be the right man for the job. Thanks.
This happened to my father. At first the doctors thought he was suffering from a severe UTI and started him on antibiotics. Due to his deteriorating condition, one doctor decided to treat empirically and added antivirals. Though he survived, he was at first like a 70 yr old infant and had to relearn most basic tasks. He regained speech and most movement but cognitively had deficiency, however, he could still fix cars. He was a mechanic. It was described to me by the doctor as him having shingles in the brain. It happened so fast.
I gotta say, as a classically trained choral singer who now makes most of my living singing in church choirs, I absolutely do know who Lassus was, and I love his music. He's very well-known in early music circles, but I get that people outside of those circles have probably never heard of him.
I've been on some trips before with various psychedelics but scarier by far than any of that was having a period of short term memory loss from a concussion. I would NOT be able to tolerate this kind of condition.
I recall some documentary about a 20 something that couldnt make new memories. He couldnt look forward to things. No imagine what the future holds or want to do things. It was a perpetual now.
Clive Wearing is now 84 years old. Clive Wearing is an accomplished musician and is known for editing the works of Orlande de Lassus. Wearing sang at Westminster Cathedral as a tenor lay clerk for many years and also had a successful career as a chorus master and worked as such at Covent Garden and with the London Sinfonietta Chorus.
I had full blown amnesia after narcissistic abuse. I had blocked out all the gaslighting and murder attempts, poisoned friends and girlfriends parents ect... I left and went into the world not really knowing what had happened. The evil people followed and carried on the abuse from the shadows, now citing my obviously distressed state as "proof I was mad" ect... As narcs do. They only stopped when they died. Then after that I remembered everything because my "siblings" thought they were going to carry on the abuse.... My restraint was eating at them I could see it. They were desperate to affect me... But yeah... That's how I had full blown amnesia of my first twenty five years of life... The dreams were terrible. I'd dream about this special place where I was supposed to be and it was a terrible thing that I was not there. But I couldn't quite remember every time... That's just one facet... I often answer questions for people on Quora who want to erase bad memories and ask how to "give themselves amnesia". So I describe how awful and damaging and frightening it is. .. They actually think it's a convenient way to forget your troubles which is really sad and slightly offensive for me. So I always stop to answer those questions and tell people how you really don't want to even try and do that. That's like cutting off your hand because you have a splinter in your finger....
I worked with a woman whose father had brain surgery and now has anterograde amnesia. I think she says his short term memory has a 10 min window? And nothing new goes into long term memory. It's sad. He still thinks she's a child and she's in her late 20s now.
This is me after my TBI. I have no memory of family, and can't cope with new friends. I greet the same people over and over and again.I always have can't taste or smell. I hate food. Watch 50 first dates. My life is a nightmare. I can not watch spots the actions act to fast. My brain bleed destroyed my life.
I had experienced this in my 20s, but fortunately it only lasted a few hours (I think). During a night softball game, I slid into home, and my legs got tangled with the catcher’s, and I cracked the back of my head on the ground (no helmet). I was told it was so loud, they could hear it up in the stands. I remember getting up, feeling incredibly nauseous, and sitting down in the dugout. All of a sudden, I asked my coach why I was there, having no clue what was going on around me. The next memory I had was in the E.R. some time later, and my sister was with me. I asked her to call my parents to let them know, and she just smiled at me. I asked her if I had already said that, and she said I had…a few times (later she told me I must have asked her over fifty times to call my folks). The next memory I had was at her house. Surprisingly, after midnight, the hospital just released me into her care, and told her to check my pupils every hour with a flashlight to make sure both pupils were constricting the same. SMH To this day, over 30 years later, I have never gotten my lost memories back. It scared the hell out of me!
