The last part about 'tolerance' really enlightened me. No wonder my grandparents have been together for more than 50 years and believe me they quarrel almost every single day.
A lot of people, myself included I should say, think that Hannah Fry is seriously fabulous, and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures to have ever walked on the face of the Earth.
She sounds very clear and I loved watching this presentation. I wish there was a presentation on mathematics and work related stress. How to divorce a job which you still have feelings for.
Don’t fall in love with a job. Better fall in love with a mission in your life which you chase with one of many jobs, than to fall in love with one specific job.
low negativity threshold!! thats me! it means that you only need a little bad thing happening to feel the need of talking and solving it, it means that you care very much. I agree with this. The problem is when you have a low negativity threshold (need little bad thing to react) and you are with a person with a very high negativity threshold ( somebody that let pass a lot of bad things without react, and just hold inside the bad feelings, lack of interest in solving things because think are not a big deal until everything explote and is ruined).
Tips 1. For online dating, emphasize your unique (and perhaps unflattering/divisive) parts of yourself. 2. Reject the first 37% of dates and settle for the next one that's better than them all. 3. Have a really low negativity threshold - sound out any negativities with your partner ASAP
I am fascinated by the negativity threshold argument - I would suspect, on simple level, it keeps the relationship from developing any "nuclear level" discrepancies of value or interest, but instead lets it discuss and correct at the minimal or more readily agreed level of difference. I also suspect that by giving the relationship an actual identity, not just an "I - Thou" but also an "Us - Our" identity allows for better shared responsibility for its maintenance, and respects the work of maintaining the health of this attraction and connection over time a a living entity as opposed to a current convenience. Excellent insights and information - thank you
I got lucky wife has been chasing me sense 12 years old and we've been on our honeymoon for 24 years and counting. Now with that said this info may have been helpful when I was younger haha great presentation.
Help, I cannot stop marrying red-headed British women. I have 13 different families I have to tend to now, and each time I divorce one, I marry another to fill in her place.
Loving the idea that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity is mathemetically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear arm race ... this sound realistic to some extent
In summary, 1) Play to your weaknesses & your strengths to be somewhat "attainable", 2) When you start dating, Get (a decent amount of) experience BEFORE you choose your "One"/Don't be too serious from the start, enjoy yourself in a few non-serious relationships before you get into a new, serious relationship, 3) Communicate positively, openly & often/Have high transparency/"No one ever tripped over a mountain, but many did on pebbles" aka the little things matter
There is a truth that every science nerd has fallen to Hannah, so have I. That's really hard to find a girl who is loving maths and science while being beautiful
I was shocked with the 37% theory. I was ready to seriously date for marriage from 25 until im 33(this is my cut off). Hence my 37% should be at age 28. Without knowing this, i marry my husband at 28. Same with my hubby. We got same same 37% optimal.
My parents had a rule “Never go to bed angry or annoyed.” When they had an issue they talked about it. If there was a big issue then entire family was brought into the living room to avoid anyone saying anything they didn’t mean because the kids were in the room so they’d watch their tongues (and my sister and I wished to never be born the moment when my dad said “Taking care of the house isn’t that big of a job” and my mom saw red and torn him a new one before making him do every single chore she normally did on a daily basis for 14+ years for just a week and he never again said anything about dinner being an hour late again... and my sister and I were confused as to why he had pink socks instead of white for a year after that before my mom took pity and bought him new ones)
I love it! It completely makes sense and explains why my last relationship went down the tubes. (along with it seemed like instead of trying to make things work at the same time we would take turns pretty much saying f you I don't care any more) I think even though it was one of my longest relationships it wasn't unsuccessful because of the nagging, or the lack there of, it's just we eventually grew apart and we were trying to hold to strongly to something we didn't have any more. I will always care and love him in a sense but we definitely fell out of love with each other. We needed each other at the time to help each other through those last years of being minors and into young adulthood. Even though we sometimes would get angry just looking at each other we knew for a while any ways that we would still be there for each other and didn't budge. Near the end it had that calm before the break. It was scary for me, I can't say for him as I don't know, but I know for myself that I thought we were planning on marrying in the future and that all going down the drain really rocked me and my little world. I am now in a pretty happy relationship and we are really open with each other. The first thing I told him as soon as we made it "official" that we were a couple I told him that I want him to tell me when I'm being a complete b*tch whether or not it hurts me at the time because then I can realize when I'm nagging too much and not letting him take time to fix what I'm focusing so much on. I can honestly say that since my last relationship I've gone from a raving maniac that seems like I was never happy to being mellow and only really nit picking when I know it's something that can be helped. I can't count how many days and nights we spent bickering. And how many times he stopped my rant in it's tracks just by saying "what is wrong" or "what's really bothering you" I'd then stop for not even thirty seconds and find that I'm not sure exactly why I'm mad at the moment I just am and not necessarily at him. So overall neither one of us is perfect, far from it actually, and we aren't even the people we normally go after. I usually go for the "hot, aloof, douche-bag" that always seemed to care when around but once I was away oh the mice would play. My boyfriend had nearly the same type in girls they would be blonde, pretty, a little bit b*tchy and no sense of commitment. He's not conventionally attractive but he's genuine and he's always ready to catch me when I'm falling apart. As well as I'm a brunette who wants nothing more than a long term commitment and cares a great deal about my friends and family. We've been friends for four years, met on the first day of college, and we always had a close friendship. When we both were at the end of our recoup periods of our last relationships we literally pretty much said "why not?" I know after having my heart wrenched out of my chest and stomped and shattered by my last I pretty much thought what else do I have to lose? He's nice, he actually cares, and most likely if we don't happen to work we will still have a sort of friendship. Now, yes we've only been together for about a year and a half, but already it's different from my previous relationships. We are still learning about each other, we are still having minor spats, and we still can go to bed every night saying we love each other and mean it and not being angry. Honestly, I have a lot of hope for this. Now we know it won't always be easy, we pretty much started on a rocky road full of dips, turns, and some places that weren't clear which way was up, down, left, or right; but we figured it out together and we still keep going. Good luck to the rest of you out there. And if something tells you some thing isn't right (call it a hunch or your gut instinct, quite literally if your stomach is turning and there seems to be no reason for it.) find out why. Don't let it go. If it's nothing great! But if it's something major it's better to find out now then years down the road. Sorry for the severely long comment. I rarely can figure out how to comment without sharing my story. please no negativity, it's not that I can't handle it, I really don't care, but I'm sharing because it pertains to the video. My last relationship had that negativity spiral for nearly three out of the four years we were together and should have ended a lot sooner and we did quite a bit of damage to each other, yes we were both to blame, but we both learned.
xXJuggalettex4lifeXx no hate, just posting for whatever reason my disbelief in my self and for my curiosity winning out that I read the entire thing. been a while since you posted this though, hope all is well, even if I don't know you :p
I just luuuuuv this woman! If the time & space coordinates had different set-up I would have been father of her kids. Maybe in some other Universe, right now, right there... 😂❤
If you are looking for somebody who's living near you and you get a number of 26 available partners for you, you can't say, that there are only 26 partners available in the whole of the UK. There are only 26 partners available in your area. His chance in getting a date with one of these girls is also not 1:285000. He's not competing with guys who are living far away from where he is, is he?
35% of the age window given is 22yo... So that means you should marry the first best option once you reach this age if you wanna be married by 35... So you have 13 years to meet "the one". Now I need to rate everyone based on...? There are so many variables... I really enjoyed this one.
Assuming your standard deviation / variance (people dated per month/year) is low over time... This might not work out for you individually but with enough people doing it the average ought to work out.
1. So people who perceive themselves of average attractiveness have higher likelihood of approaching and/or being approached by other people who perceive themselves of average attractiveness because rejection is statistically less likely in this situation. When everyone is average, everyone should be happy. Trust the maths. 2.Reject marriage while you're 15 to 19 years old. From then and until you're 35, marry somebody who is better than those men who you dated while you were 15-19. This means that the more men you have within that period (15-19) the higher your standards will get, the better your chances will be of finding The One. Trust the maths. 3. The secret of a happy marriage is low negativity threshold. Not letting anything go unnoticed. Not compromising. Not allowing the partner the space to be themselves. I suppose when you're average in every way, you would be quite happy in such marriage. Both of you.
About the thing with nuclear war, I think that when you and your partner actually fall in love you both already have zero sum capacity because if things go sideways both will be terribly hurt, even if you end up as friends, so every time you choose to express affection and positivity towards your loved one you are in fact your own Stanislav Petrov
Riveting, funny and witty show !!! Thanks a lot !!! Though, equations have little to do with love, some basic math behind a charming lady can do the ricks, that's for sure !!! Cheers, guys !
I'm in love, very nice speech! Inspiring educated words from a very attractive woman. We need more like her... Sway the masses into a positive direction
It's something call probability of success and it works in other areas. There are two videos on numberphile explaining it in a much different usage, but it's exact same math that's employed. Intro: watch?v=ZWib5olGbQ0 Math prove: watch?v=XIOoCKO-ybQ I'm not saying I support this method, but from a cynical math perspective it does make sense.
TheHarboe It doesn't make sense at all.. this theory is based on the idea that there is a set N (like the example the video gave with the toilets: you know how many toilets there are). But in reality you don't really know how many girls you'd date. So basically this could mean you have to make a fixed N about how many girls you will fuck and then pick the one at 37%. Which means (I've already had an idea of how many girls i wanted to lay with) I have to pick the next or second girl lol that sucks
Pretty girl talking about mathemathics and love. Couldn't ask for more! Jokes aside, nice video. Sadly the audience weren't up for the jokes. I feel this discovery on how couples should conversate more in order to avoid divorce, complaining about what is not right to them could be used in a daily bases. I remember seeing that quite a lot in the last company I worked with.
I would have an entirely disparate relationship with mathematics if I'd have such a teacher. Also the jon gottman study is described elaborately in Malcolm gladwell's Blink.
Damn, I just rejected the guy who was marginally less terrible than the first 37% of guys I dated. Guess I will be alone forever and live with cats for the rest of my life.
Wow small world! :) Well if you are below 28 and have an incredibly stupid passion for food then give me a shout haha. More than happy to eat with good people ^_^
