When I was making my last album I got into a place where I was neglecting my family, friends, and my own health, staying up late every night recording and mixing, obsessively thinking about the music 24/7… I was feeling really bad about it for a while, but my Mom brought up a teaching she had heard about how creating art is like giving birth. It takes a lot out of you at the time, and limits your focus on other things, but you need to give yourself some leeway during that part of the process, and can return back to a normal balanced life after it’s done. This made me feel a lot better about not being able to be perfect in other aspects of my life while I was also trying to create something
I love how transparent you've been with your creative process. It's really helpful and inspiring to me. Seeing the uncertainty and constant self-evaluation really helps me face those things in myself and helps show how immersive and personal the creative process is for someone who's creative in your caliber. Thank you as always Dev. 🙏
It's uncanny how similar your struggle is to mine. It means a lot to me that you keep making these videos. I don't know if it's just the mindset and life of a creative, or of an emotional person, or a combination or whatever it is, but it makes me feel much more human to see another person from a completely different walk of life dealing with the same struggles, so thank you again for sharing. As far as work goes - a few things. I've been building my life around letting intuition/passion call the shots. It's tremendously difficult and terrifying, it is completely incongruent with "adulting", with this modern industrial/commercial western concept of what a "functional successful adult" is. I could rant on this for hours, but to keep it brief... I have found it very hard to reconcile that ultimately... to be a "functional adult" or whatever, you **only** need discipline and control. You only need to show up for shifts, do what you are told, make money, keep your house clean, keep your emotions in check. That's all. So, for people who are born with less emotional magnitude, less creative drive, more structure/control-brain... for people who devote their lives to this path, it's just easier, they can skate through life in a very linear fashion. Emotions, creativity, passion, self-expression - those are **extra** for them, entirely optional. For people like us, for passionate, emotional, intuitive creatives... our natural state is much more freeform, emotional and chaotic, creativity flows constantly (often compulsively) and it takes tremendous effort to establish and maintain structure. Our form of productivity and social contribution sources from very different methods. What really upsets me with contemporary society is... how it is absolutely 100% okay for a suit-and-tie type to go through their entire life never being demanded to write a song, or paint a portrait. They can easily, and I've heard this a thousand times, say... "oh, I can't draw." And they're done, no questions asked. They get a pass. They may not live the most culturally fulfilling life, but *it's up to them*. They have liberty, they have that choice. But if people who dedicate their life to songwriting and portraiture say "oh, I can't maintain a 9-5 schedule, keep my house clean, hit deadlines or do soulless work just for money"... they are often deemed rebellious, contrarian, lazy, dysfunctional, even mentally unbalanced. I'm hoping a lot of this is exaggerated in my head and merely contained to the people surrounding me, but it's been a perpetual struggle for me. We have to be TWO completely polar opposite people, while those who are born different merely have to be one. And for us, it is NOT optional, you just have to make it work or find some way to suppress your inner creative, your true self. It's hard to not feel like that's just fundamentally unfair. I hope that changes someday, for all our sake. Okay, got that rant out. Ugh. What I wanted to share is... I have the capability of doing realism-style animal illustration. I used to "specialize" in portraiture in mechanical and colored pencil. I can work in a lot of different mediums. But for the past few weeks, my inspiration has been dragging me back to this same 5x7 wire-bound sketchbook to draw weird abstract bubble/plant cell/membrane designs. Dozens of them. I'll draw for hours and hours at a time until my fingers go numb. I don't know why, it just demands I work on it. I don't even know what I'm going to do with it. If I try to work on a "more important" piece like the mahogany carving I started, or the giant canvas tapestry I am going to paint... and then I just keep fantasizing about the bubble designs. The other work is just not FUN at the time. It just doesn't feel right. I get this A LOT, and I have really committed to stop fighting that. My best and most effortless work comes from trusting what my daydreaming wants to work on. So, what I've done is... I got a giant whiteboard and set it up above my work desk. On that whiteboard, I have all 12 active projects I have open right now, and I break each one into general phases and put a check box next to them. Every single day, I think... "I'm just dicking around, I haven't accomplished anything", and all I have to do is look up at the board to see exactly how many creative doors I have opened. Keeping in mind a quote that my old sculpture teacher told me, "art is NEVER FINISHED, you simply stop working on it." So... completion is kind of a myth, and I try not to consider completing a piece as the end-goal or my metric for accomplishment. It's really hard to do that, but I've been recently trying and it's been helpful. Every open door is an accomplishment, every step on each of those paths is an accomplishment. It's worth celebrating, and having a visual reminder of that has helped me with my self-esteem, mental health and work flow tremendously. Very glad to see you letting the chill win. See you next week! :)
Afternoon Dev! Speaking as 'the audience', I can honestly say that I expect you to do whatever it is that you want to do! I love the expectation of wondering what crazy Canadian synapse will come up with this time 😅
For what it is worth I appreciate these vlogs and the insights they contain so much. It's very reassuring when you hear that someone at Devin's level thinks and feels many of the same inadequacies and fears and asks some of the same questions you do. Thanks Dev; for what it's worth I'll buy the moth just for this commentary on the process. Good luck, you'll get there.
Hey Devin Thank you for sharing your process. I am a painter and I have been working on a big piece for like over a year, and it became such a stressful thing in the end that I decided to start another biggie alongside that one just to create some space. I have not had a single exhibition yet, but I put my heart and soul into it and yes, I am learning as I go along. And it is really scary. You and your music have been a major inspiration in my life and my way of looking at art, for which I will be forever grateful to you. Whenever the ego begins to take over my life I remember Ziltoid and smile. For me your work is unparalleled in so many respects. Love you.
Ahh, that's totally me too! Been working on a mural over the year, 160x6ft to be mounted outside. My first big thing for open public consumption. Lots of moments as you & Dev describe, where one gets overwhelmed, backtracks/second guesses, tons of ideas explored/experimented while the clock is ticking down... After burning myself out with excess love and anxiety multiple times, I ended up chopping it into about two dozen little chunks. I'd obscure the total and just develop segments into little stories or feelings, to something I was happy with, that makes me feel an emotion. I then stitched everything together, culled a few that didn't fit the theme (maybe I can use for something else?), and I was left with a story with just a few holes that felt SO much more manageable to fill, to complete the mural. Casualties of Cool has been my fuel! I am SO excited to see what Casualties 2 will do for my art, lol. Good luck on the exhibition journey
Yeah the process can feel so messy, and fear and time pressure can make it so delicate to juggle inspiration and love with that sense of momentum that we feel we shouldn't lose. I decided to take breaks, and actually it was fine! When I returned it was fresh again, it did become fun again. And new things emerged from new perspectives. I like what Devin said about how important it is that it has to be fun. Thanks for sharing. It feels beautiful to connect with people about the process. Wishing you all the best with the mural!
I really admire the fact that your "product" is only you, your songs, your personality and the only measure to this is your taste and self-tolerance. Talking as a fan, I don't expect a new costume, new visual communication, identity. We like you for who you are, so whatever you put out is genuine and truthful. I want to freely create something again myself, in art, music...but the reality is I'm too busy trying to make a good living. I can do it now, I can put some spare time into it, but my fear is not being fully present, in the moment, emotionally or mentally.
Seems weve heard this before, If "no fun" was Transcendence. Woah. One of your Masterpieces. I felt you get stuck or felt repeating yourself. Dont change who you are. All those stamps in time are your DNA. Keep evolving!
We connect with you unlike any other artist. Sharing your vulnerability as an artist and a human means so much. The man on stage and the man couldn't be more different - but they both always have a sincere, all or nothing quality. On stage, you always swing for the fences to give everyone the best night of their life. Off stage, you are an open book and always trying to share with and inspire us. Please know that we have grown with you, and whatever you present with your heart, will be met by open arms. Empath's momentum was interrupted - You know exactly what time it is
Man this is so relatable and so helpful, even as a non-artist. I want to stress that - I'm not an artist or even a very creative person but I'm going through some other stuff in my life and these updates are very inspiring. Thanks Dev 🙏🏽
Hope you are going well (to echo your sentiment at the end). Thanks for being so open and honest, make sure you do take that down time to take care of yourself and recognise when it's axe to the grindstone time instead of a more neurotic response to stress / deadlines.
The creative mind is torture and once in awhile it hits its value. Keep up the struggle! Nothing wrong with letting the audience hear the struggle, now that you've been honest about it.
A crisis of faith can be assuaged by the participation of others in your journey. Sometimes the hardest thing is understanding the scale of time. All is well. Carry on. It's good. Thanks Dev.
"The fear of legging go", that took me to Twin Peaks The Return - Log Lady For me, when I have a good idea about something and I start writing it down or play on guitar whatever, it does well until I tell some friend before the basic skeleton is complete. Then it feels like ive already told someone and the interest kind of goes down for a while. The same happens when I go out of town and come back and it takes many days or week(s) to get back on it mentally. But ive noticed that whenever I just allow myself to think about it, more ideas come. The same when I start writing it down, interesting thing forms, but it's that point of starting it that gets delayed and somehow I feel that the procrastination you are talking about, can be cured if we just decide to start going through it from start, if its text, then reading it, or listening if music and then the mind lights up again. And that is a good hint that while working on something, you suddenly feel tired or not focused or not able to continue, it's break time. I guess different things work for different people and in a lot of cases, basically its the same thing, just in different ways, i dont know. Thanks for talking about this and its fun listening and trying to understand self.
Randomly saw you on youtube on day and I was utterly blown away, you should of been one of my favorites many years ago - so nice to hear about your work - music is HARD - can't wait to hear new music! hope you're well
Devin, Thank you so much for making this video, takes a lot to let people peak behind the curtain. You’re an amazing artist and I can tell you’re a good dude. Just keep following your heart and remember to keep it fun, it will show in the sound of your music like always. You’re definitely on the right track and whatever you come up with it will be absolutely great. As a fan of your music, you always deliver the best cause it’s authentic. Keep grinding and just remember what’s important to you. It will work out and your wig will be blown back. Thank you so much for sharing, inspiring talk. Cheers from Chicago.
Trusting your intuition sounds like the way to go Dec. I'm confident you'll get through this and learn something new about yourself. Can't wait to hear the music but patience is key 🙏🏽
Creating with a sense of duty rather than passion. Felt that. Won't be that hard if the only person affected was yourself, but if others depend on what you do, then it becomes a duty.
Could this just be the evolution creatively and emotionally? We all change, where things just don’t engage us anymore so we need to leave them and move onto that which inspires us, especially in the arts. To flog a dying horse will not make it walk. Do only that which inspires you otherwise you will never grow wings! ✌️
What if song writing in its ultimate form is about looking inward, self discovery, curiosity. You know, that hot bed of infinite creativity and a sense of flow. I think the audience sees this as genuine as it is. This is where the big picture focus can stunt the minutia of creativity. I think what you are currently going through will create the theme that sews it all together. That’s theme will be different for all of us but our individual experiences are relatable when the artistic becomes the audience. Easy to say when you actually, in reality have a family and responsibilities. What does the past say? Selfishly as an audience member and fan, I want you to be true, curious and passionate. That’s the part that ties all of your best work together. Thanks for everything Dev. Fuck the fear.
Thanks for this Dev, you just told my story word for word right now. I’m a graphic designer who needs to take on a bigger project management role as a sole trader. The disconnect and deep confusion between the creative and the ‘admin’ is a bit tricky to balance. And yes, I do find myself trying to relax and watch TV, whilst the getting frustrated that I’m not working at that moment… totally understand, and totally empathise with you sir. I have a belief that an answer / balance / harmony will come. Just finding it hard. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone 😇🙏
thanks for the update. I find these really interesting while i am working on my bands next album. always a lot to think about during the process.anyway all the best. we are in the stage of finding a mixer that we can afford gone through about 6 guys now. its a balance of what we can afford and what sounds good
At the end of this update you were running out of air, so, don't you forget to breath my dear friend. What a superb experience we're dealing with thanks to this updates!!! Thanks Devin, and the best wishes for this week for you and your loved ones.
Devin Townsend from Canada. My favorite musician. The Moth (upcoming album). Norm Macdonald from Canada My favorite comedian The Moth (great joke). Coincidence???
Very comforting to know that a musical genius like Devin goes even further down the mental rabbit hole than I do when it comes to creating art :) You always feel like you're alone in your obsessions/weirdness until you see things like this.
Really appreciate your openness in saying all this stuff. As an architect specially nowadays with so much information it’s dificult and one can be confused on your own creative process. Lately I’ve been relying on working on a more intuitive way. Por example start building a house without floor plans
Each obstacle seems to make a person stronger or more capable to handle something that may be around the next corner, God willing there is a next corner. Sometimes the struggle doesnt appear to be as such at first. Just dont be to harsh on yourself or compare to earlier material. Used to do a little little wouldnt do it so the little got more and more. If we had it our way. We would bore ourselves.
Dev Just some random thoughts ... Again your music has gotten me through this thing called life. I love listening to your thoughts and process. It's what makes you you. You're blessed to have the talents that you have. Question everything ... But don't question yourself. Get out what is in your head. Your projects are worth the wait. What that leaves us the listeners is being emersed in journey. A journey that might not be what you intended. But nonetheless masterpieces. So much more say. But I'm babbling ... Carry on my brother Peace and love beyond understanding. Out
I find myself identifying with your outlook to a degree which is unnerving. As financial prospects are fleeting and security is elusive. Best of luck Sir, may you continue producing quality audible content 'til you breathe your last breath. Thanks for the inspiration to carry on.
Dev. Remmember how it was during the sex and religion days. You are over thinking it. We know who you are and support you no matter what. Chris from LA
I don't know if you read this shit or not, but I really think you could benefit from recounting all of your small accomplishments made throughout your days at the end of each day: Taking care of the house/family, Writing (anything), handling career-related tasks (emails, fucking with cables for the atmos etc.) and so forth. Over time, it really helps you start to appreciate all that you do and the value that ensues. Also, I agree that writing what's pure to oneself, what one loves and not being fooled by the ego are great things to keep in mind. I'd also add: remembering what you're trying to say. I find that it makes writing a little harder, but the results seem more potently accurate. Anyhoo, best of luck, rooting for you and I'm stoked for more!
I am finalising two new tracks for release, thanks for these videos have really helped me keep going and get decisions made. Had a major software update error but have worked around for now to get these done, just can’t be creative in the meantime 😅
Sometimes the thing to do when time is going too quick is to just accept it and let time pass by for a bit. Catch up on sleep. Drink some tea and admire your backyard (maybe not now as it's bitter cold, but you get the idea). This can be a pain in the ass with deadlines, but more often than not it's better to wait for the ideas to be ready for you than to force yourself to be ready for the ideas.
My partner tells me to relax sometimes too and just watch tv lol. I’ve been having issues with time and how I’m spending it since Covid began, so much I’ve been trying to get to figured out in therapy. What he kinda of worked for me sometimes is just trying to focus on learning something new in whatever creative thing I’m doing. Or just taking a moment to really grasp my reality. Random rant but your comments Devin towards the end about time and vthe weeks flying by was very relatable.
A wise man once said “the way it goes, is the way it goes”. Watching a bit of tv is an invaluable necessity. If you’re too close to the material, you lose the outsider perspective. Then when you go back and listen, fresh set of ears and make further decisions. “To spite you / despite you” might make a good lyric.
I wonder if the reason we find so many FIRST albums from our favorite bands so special is because they were usually made by younger people who didn't have the forethought to battle with all their neurosis and fears and whatnot, so they just made things that worked. Then you couple that with the fact that younger people can enter that manic state and work until godawful hours and neglect food or drink, or drink too much, and their bodies can just handle it better. You feel invincible in your 20s. The older you get, the more that kind of thing takes a toll. More fear, more exhaustion. I don't know how you work around it other than to hopefully rely on wisdom/intuition more since you have that, but I can see it not being the same. I hobby create so I only have so many hours a day to do it. If it isn't fun, that really sucks. Sometimes I combine things I think are fun. Like genres or character ideas or whatever. If the heart wants a certain thing in your work, I don't see any reason to not put it in. Outlines are nice, but I've never met a novel I've written that followed one properly.
Dev, being honest, sometimes I wish you’d just look at an album like a project. Shit on the napkin, sketch-out the ornaments you’re gonna hang off the tree, and then build the damn thing. It’s not something that has to be an opus in the idea stage, but can be after the tree is built. And by tree I mean that thing you know will make others around it grow. The beauty of projects is that you can make as many of them as you want. The challenge is committing to putting them in order. That’s honestly what I hear in your older works, whether that was by design or by deadline. I just want your brain to rest. You can build a plane while you’re flying, but prepared to do a lot of crashing. You always make gold, but the goal is to stay golden throughout. Cheers.
I feel the pressure trying to release a 2 track single on an indie label, with no contracts or fans, I never got your self flagellation over your releases until I started some output myself 😅
The universe is held together by vibrations, frequencies, sounds. Each person is held together by sound. Theres supposedly a key that the universe is in. Ive seen different frequencies are different colors. The info jeff skunk baxter has on you tube regarding how lasers are made. Different moods garner different vibrations sounds. Its easy to second guess when things seem off. Ive learned my opinion is mine, regardless the world keeps churning. Its where a person is at any point, whos to say whats good enough. Only we know when we do our best. If our vibrations resonate with others, great. Theres some weird things that apart seem not a good fit, when together they compliment. certain notes seem to be in family of others. Maybe depending how its being applied
This is totally off topic, but I have been into Geddy Lee lately. I read his “My Effin Life” biography and watched his bass player show recently… and I would love to see you guys collaborate… or maybe even get him as a guest for the podcast. Just throwing it out there.
I have an album that's been sitting on the shelf unfinished at 70% point For about 25 years. I wish I had the energy and the finances and the resources and knowledge how to complete It. But at this point I'm so far behind The Times I'd have to learn how to work on a desktop when My background was Is combining you so sequencers and recording on tape. I used to have a KORG. And did most of my work with that for the instrumentation. Now I have a Yamaha motif But I don't really get the operating system on it. Still there's enough material there to press a final L I'll pay that just needs vocals and a baseline on one track And maybe to work on one additional song or not it may overfill it if I did... The concept is all in order the lyrics except for the one piece are all down I just don't know what to do because I work 70 hour weeks I'm 55 I get home third am i just wanna watch a few minutes of TV and go to sleep. And still there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish that I could get it done and somehow afford to get a small number pressed and just out there and going. Just 24 the first time in many years put something into the universe. Every video you post every song I carries me. I don't say that to weigh you down as an artist being the fan that says hey we're depending on you out here I say it's say I'm grateful to you Because even being in this position right now where I'm struggling and just wish I could get something done I'm so far better off than I was a decade ago and at that point impact came along and really impacted my life in positive and beneficial ways choice that kept me thrivand helped me to get where I actually am where at least I have something and I'm working and I have people that care.
I feel like you need to let go of the control part just to get ideas out. Discipline and control are only required to finish things off. Just get the ideas down and it will come together, then you can be focused on achieving specific tasks.
Dev, I don´t know if you read and/or respond to yt comments, but here it goes: I´m super curious about the actual amount of material you are working with. How many songs (in whatever state they are) are you currently working with? Do you jump around and work a little bit on one song, then move on to another, or do you tend to stick with one for longer stretches of time? Is it both😄? Also, I would love to know how you deal with the problem of connecting parts of a song to create a cohesive whole. I find its relatively easy to write a groove or a catchy riff, but I always fail miserably in blending multiple riffs into one narrative. P.S. In case anyone in is actually reading this and struggling with the same problems, I would love to hear your thoughts!
I am definitely not one to give advice, and I believe that's not what you're looking for. This series is just a peek into your world and a way for you to share with people. and if it helps someone, it's a bonus . I said all that to say, "Keep moving forward, and I'm behind you in spirit and sending positive vibes your way... btw where do you find your ambient music you have in the background? I really like it. Peace to you... Monty From N.C.
I of course have no idea of your situation, but it sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself, putting in self imposed deadlines. I would rather wait longer for more material from you than to get something that stressed and not a fun experience for you. Don’t worry, we are patient, and you don’t owe anything to us; we are here to support you.
I think it's almost impossible for you to put out a bad musical endeavor. You have high standards and you know what is good and what isn't. I guess if you purposely tried to make a album that sucks, you could. The world would love it and you would crossover to mainstream. 😁
My dear Devin, I think you may be taking on too much, too many projects simultaneously these days. That could end up costing you. I respectfully suggest that you focus on ONE thing at a time. Two max.
the setting sun in the distance; always running toward it how could one rewind time how can you stop it. no different from anyone else , but it is too much heart always living with the fragments trying to up hold the name. was supposed to be the strong one but fell like a house of cards reaching for the hand that did reach back the hands that held me as a a child the ones that were both Father and Mother the hands that were never supposed to grow old the mind coming too the iron jaw sets in the mind coming out into the sun light the realization catching us off guard today the empty hole that brings us to the void using you're trick works but only for so long. the rains still fill the spill ways, but will not hold the flood waters from the high desert the silver tongue helping hide the mind but in the eyes the story is told. the setting sun in the distance how could one rewind time how can you stop it. how can I have one more day with you in it the past setting in the sun light driving further and further away stop please, just for a second how do I undo this can the sun not set today in the eyes the story is told in the eyes the pain is seen the tongue protecting what it can until the jaw locks.
Hard to watch because I want so much to respond with my ideas on how to help. Two ideas: 1. Take a real vacation to clear your head. 2. Have one, independent person come in to observe, listen and give inputs…good/bad grades on things you are unsure about.
C’mon bro, it’s just “rock and roll”. It’s not an existential crisis. It’s like hearing about these actors that are “deep”, it’s F’N make believe man! Just a friggin movie!…I get taking things serious in spirit of making good music but the drama described here is comical…leave the background sound effects out, maybe that’s what’s triggering me…I still love your music Dev.
