The Narcissism Doctor: THESE Toxic Patterns Are Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist 

😂😂 ! So funny man

My biggest lessons from watching Dr Ramani on all platforms is to always be kind to others, ourselves and to practice deep Introspection. This prevents us from I'll treating others and to be able to see when others are treating us I'll.

2:07

Dismantled brick by brick struck a cord with me.

She rocks❤

And it is so hard to try and rediscover yourself. You feel like a shell of your former self since doubt is your normal.

It's taken me years to recover. I still feel shamed.

​@@dixiewinxeqandmore356 I no longer feel shame. I feel anger and regret for the years that I lost.

All those hours lost of one’s life trying to work out what the hell was going on. Going over every argument , every betrayal , every instance where they muddied the waters or every time they were vacant when you were giving it your all and your honesty but what helps is knowing that their dysfunction runs deep, that they’re not well in the head and you’re not to blame.

@@meetalisingh5874 😔

And yet, you aren’t allowed to get upset about really big crap they do. It’s exhausting.

That irrational anger was so so frustrating.

I see people allowing their rage to spin out of control, where they become devoid of reason, like a mad dog. Do you try to reason with a mad dog?

​@@jussgrayThat's how they push you away. You should leave ,run, don't look back!

So true.

Actually I became very sick. My autoimmune illness is never in remission. I have severe SLE Lupus.

Yes sadly 😢

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need

Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Is he on instagram?

Yes he is dr.porass.

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It’s like accepting a cat is not a dog. No matter how hard you try to train the cat- he’ll never be a dog!!!!

I don’t believe you can get off the train until you really understand it.

Forgiving them is different than allowing them to do it again!

💪🏽🙌🏽💯🥰

Wow, you're an inspiration showing that it's never too late to get out. God bless you!

I am 40…. Now my turn to achieve green And I deserve better life

I, too, kept a list in my head of preparations, of things I had to achieve (silently, stealthily, while pretending everything was the same) until one day I was ready. It took 2 years. I didn't even have a car!! But escaping was the best feeling I had felt in 3 years. The careful planning is hard since it doesn't come naturally, but I copied the narcissist in scheming and trickery and plotting and lying. It's been 4 years but living alone is still better than feeling worthless, never good enough and being told that it's better if I never speak. I'm 68 now and at peace. I joined the long list of his wives (6 that I know of) that "stole his money, was crazy, and abused his good nature". Umm, okay. As long as he stays far away from me, I will only tell my story anonymously.

Good for you!@@Cy-bz9jh

🙏🏽👏🏽❤

Wow 😮

Long..... 35 years

It is evil. It is demonic as a matter of fact.

Simple as that!

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Omg yes!! But it’s a trauma bond. The codependent can’t leave. As I am healing my own trauma and codependency. I am starting to understand the being a narcissist also comes from trauma and childhood abuse and neglect.‘ I’m not condoning or advocating narcissistic people but we are all healing from some sort of trauma.

I must say I have to respectfully disagree. Only because i think our definition of forgiveness is a bit off. Forgiveness does not mean trusting, it does not mean I'm required to be vulnerable to that person, it does not mean I don't maintain strong boundaries based on the behaviour they have shown, it does not mean I believe they are a good person. Forgiveness means I don't expect anything from them, I don't believe they owe me anything, I wish them well, release them from any bond of unforgiveness, hatred etc. Unforgiveness really doesn't hurt them. It hurts us. Because we allow the hatred etc to fester and never leave. Instead of letting go of their abuse, maintaining strong and reasonable boundaries, not feeling required to trust them, and letting ourselves grieve, heal and move on. I find too I forgive them, and then later I feel unforgiving towards them. Did I not forgive in the first place? I don't think so. In my experience I just keep repeat forgiving them until it becomes a lot easier.

100% and most churches do not read the verses that say when they repent( meaning change behavior, then u forgive) ezekiel 18-19..evennin the Bible it never said to forgive people who don't turn from their behaviors..but psalms 1 and isaiah 59:8 isaiah 26:10 jer 13:23..so..people who say to forgive when they aren't sorry, well they don't know scripture either...❤

​@@rachelsspaceyogabreathsoun7954yeah but they don't want to heal ..they wanna make others hurt

Dr. Ramani, you’re a certified badass ❤ I love listening to you talk, your insights are brilliant, entertaining and easy to understand. Thank you

Such a good verbal speaker ! How ??

Thank you for everything Doctor! You have helped so many.

You are a gift to this world both you and Jay. In my language (Cree-native american) we say Kinanaskomtin meaning I am extremely grateful

Thank YOU for being such a wonderful guest!

I believe NPD is a form of demon possession - no doubt at all.

i believe this too

Givers versus takers. Best relationship is two selfless givers that genuinely love each other, not being just people pleasing to someone who only wants & loves their ego validation or how they can use you instead of genuinely loving you as a person.

I think that too

No it’s not

Very nice point, but I'd love to point out something, when you mean sex, let's not forget that there are teenagers in the comment section too, a teenager refusing to have sex with his.or her partner doesn't make them narcissistic, we are Christians too. I'm just trying to say that you should point out your facts correctly so people won't misunderstand. So when you mean sex, you mean marriage right? Because normally sex outside marriage, it's wrong

@@favouruche1028That is your own belief. Keep your own kids off here and leave others alone. Strong people on here will not listen to your shame based bullying of someone that is helping the masses.

So so true

@@littleiodine9480 Pardon me, I'm not married neither do I have kids, I'm a young adult, and what I was trying to say is that, on the sex issue, for her to complain about it means that she's married, unless if sex outside marriage is allowed in your culture or where you stay, So the young ones won't misinterprete that. Everything she said is correct, it's just for the young ones not to have the idea that sex before marriage is ideal. Period

@@littleiodine9480 and besides, the internet is for everyone including kids, what we do with it or how we manage it is what matters, so we should be careful of what we say or do here.

Agree June..my narc mother tried to destroy me, body and soul. She died 20 years ago and I'm still dealing with the cruel words and deeds.

@@shirleyfrost9909 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad that you survived what was intended to destroy you. I hope that you receive the strategies and healing that liberates you from the wounds of your past. 🙏🏾💖

Me to it does get old doesn’t it? I’m the one who gives complements to be nice even if someone still hurts me I tend to get over things quickly

@@mariahconklin4150I’m the same! It’s so draining.

Can Dr.pores send to me in UK?

Whew! That sounds so familiar!

Did you suffer from anxiety of any sort?

Yes, especially social anxiety. If you have lost your sense of self you feel like an alien in social situaitons. I smoked weed and self isolated for a long time to numb out. @@crystalH30

​@@crystalH30 for me yes. but less and less with time. it s been 11 months only. but i m healing. I m not looking for news and i have no pictures. i cut everything. Sometimes i m watching myself still doing something for him some cloths he liked and then realise it s a mistake and i m starting a anxiety spiral. i have to take a walk or run and repeat myself, that now i m safe.

My ex was only dx with NPD because of marital counseling. Never would have gone on his own.

Wow….seems like a story I have lived

This is so relatable!

I definitely relate. All of it dose this investigator really work?

@@Shannon1250 of course 💯

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Forgiveness must be earned. I would never recommend someone to just give it away as a door prize either. The popular advice to do so is toxic af.

Forgiveness is for the perpetrator not the victim. That’s what society especially Bible thumpers have wrong.

@@middleofnowhere1313 100% agree. Succumbing to pressure to forgive traumatizes you all over again - is toxic AF indeed. I wish there was a vaccine to cure people of this ridiculous idea. It's virtue signaling on an obscene scale.

Yep hopefully the devil got them and the pitch fork is sharp.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽✅✅

It is helping and doing favor for the abuser without understanding why, it is wondering for years why i m doing that? why i can not stop? why i m Afraid ? why this relationship is so powerful while i know something is wrong and i have to leave? Why i feel like zombie alive but dead at the same time ? Why i m like someone hypnotysed i want to leave but i can not i can not move? Like Stockholm syndrome no control of my actions, Sense of being in Fairytale or dream or nightmare, sense of surreality.

Totally

@@user-ok5bz6bd9b exactly! Years ago when I was married to a narcissist, I felt all those things you just said, and it was before anyone was talking about narcissism and trauma bonding and I thought I feel like I have Stockholm syndrome!

Cptsd

Agree completely! At one point I was told by a very close friend that what was going on with me sounded like I was suffering with Stockholm syndrome I looked it up and it changed the way I looked at him! I was helping my abuser for years.

How I grew up Had kids with one Was single for 10 years Ended up with another narcissist TRYING TO LEAVE AFTER ONE YEAR OF ABSOLUTE TORMENT I’m Fuch EXHAUSTED CANNOT GET AWAY FROM THEM HONESTLY WOULD RATHER BE ALONE THAN KEEP TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE

I feel you...we need to heal on a daily basis

Living with a narc mother is like living In a closed room with no windows and Door .they make sure to character assassinate you in the mean while overly love bombing their so called sons who they manipulate into believing they are the victims of everything that has happened to them and yes of course you are the one that gets blamed for everything and anything the food that u eat the eay that you eat the clothes that you wear the way you look talk or your existence in general is a fucking problem for them they trigger you and gaslight you to ab extent that your righteous rage and your out burst is a fuel to their sinister false self where they go like "see this is how she behaves this is how she is this is what she does to me " and there u are presented as a real life villain with no compassion no respect a liar and a trouble some individual who eats off other people's livelihood..this is how a narsassistic saddist parent "mother" makes you in front the whole world..Am planning my exit coz they leave us with no choice .it's is hard to be starting everything from scratch but that's the only way..

Me for 15 years mother and brother , now I am out , felt like shit even after having good job frinds , sab kuch tha , jab offce mein hoti thi feel like intelligent talent girl , jab Ghar ati thi under confident and sad ,because that's want they wanted to see me , i started behaving like how they expect

Hope you are doing well, and are able to get through the storm. 🙏

Omg sounds just like my life! My dad left my mom and I have a half sister now and a step mother and my half sister is like this golden child and now my brother is he went from being agnostic to a fake Christian and is a predator. I’ve told my mom multiple times about him and she just ignores me. She wants an apology from me and I won’t give it to her. She says she has apologized plenty of times no it’s always bs. She says, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” That’s not an apology. And I’m just the dumb people pleaser and I’m over it

Love yourself.. self care You can heal. Focus on the people you can love

I wanted to tell you, you're not alone in that. I had to come to the same conclusion. I'm many years into it and, although they've reached out, I no longer hold them up to the degree that I did. I just live my own life and put the energy into that. Best wishes to you! Stay strong

I get this. I'm the oldest sister aka the family manager and I got coerced into taking on everyone's problems with family deaths, cancer diagnoses, and drug addicts in the family. I took all this on while going through a divorce.

Really good point! They tend to be very abusive , highly manipulative and deceptive individuals. So glad for people like Dr Ramani who are spreading awareness and understanding ❤

Facts!

Disrespect and abuse is closure. No contact is the permanent solution!

The marriage with a full on narc went for 25years, at the 20 year mark I received a breast cancer diagnosis, with the full treatment of mastectomy of the right breast, A chemo round the kind that my hair fell out, at this point I had no idea what Or who I was married to, next radiation then a letrozole 1 tablet per day, I still take that tablet, 5 years after that now I know exactly what I married, the stress of the devaluation stage I think it was this stage as he did not bother anymore with any pleasantries my hair was falling out, I still did not know I thought the cancer had came back. He actually complained that the cancer fxxxed me in the head. Everything changed from then, according to the narc, the cancer affected his life, he really baited me, and antagonised me more than ever, the sexual relations stopped then also. He gaslighted me into believing I was fxxxed in the head from the chemo, I was exhausted for the next five years still blaming the cancer, then I absolutely without a doubt caught him in a lie, from there the marriage fell off a cliff and smashed into a million pieces, he faked sickness and took a 8 day hospital visit with discharge papers reading no bleeding ulcers, not sure if this was his version of some kind of hoover, it was simply worse than cancer dealing with this creature is not human. He was removed from my house by police , I've been no contact for 7 months since August 2023, I found you tube and pages like this, getting the education, the last couple of weeks I have experienced days whith out anxiety and feeling like my old self, the education I received from channels like this, he ticked everybody, have no real proof of cheating, I'm excepting it came with the territory, and don't care actually, just so peaceful at home now, love my peace, I'm loving myself now at 61, looking forward to my peaceful future, life, and am completely open to life's treasures. I have had the luxury of no contact. Embracing the escalation yes.

It helps at first to know why, but it becomes draining and pointless after a while if you keep beating yourself up about it. It does help to know that that's just how they are and it's not personal. They just saw something beneficial, think of it that way.

What do narcissists expect in a long-term relationship? You will read on Quora, among the Bot accounts, and AI generated answers, that narcissists do not empathize, that they do not attach. This is of course specious nonsense - narcissists have fully functional negative empathy, and can attach to you negatively; the narcissist is ready and willing to hate you forever. Be careful who you let into your life, as some of your visitors may refuse to leave. You may wish to help someone, but help yourself first. It's better to be alone than attract the attention of the living dead, as just like the herpes they so often carry, narcissists are for life,I CALL THEM the THE “5 EFFS OF NARCISSISM” better known as the: “I DON’T GIVE 5 FLYING FUCKS” OF NARCISSISM” Fast-as in a Lightning Fast Connection. Everything moves fast. Pushing for sex the first time you’re alone. Then: “Hey, let’s move in together! Yeah, it’s only been a week but I love you.” Saying I love you fast. Like the second time you see them. Never leaving your side. Being with a covert narcissist is like having great cell-phone service on a cheap knockoff phone. You have a Lightning-fast Connection but without quality construction and good materials YOUR cheap phone will fall apart so fast it won’t matter how great your connection is. Favors-things you didn’t ask for. They ingratiate themselves with you. Buying your favorite foods, running to the store, let me help, let me get you this, let me do that. Paying for small things-drinks, cigarettes, fast food, never anything big. But things you never ask for. Coverts store these things up like long-lasting batteries in an Energizer Bunny and one day you’ll be expected to reciprocate. It’s now your turn to lovebomb them the way they lovebombed you at the beginning. When you don’t or won’t or can’t do this, the narcissist will turn on you suddenly and viciously. Fantasies-they create a fantasy world inhabited by exactly 2 people. You and the covert. In that world anything is possible. You’re rich and famous. You’re the most beautiful. Everyone is envious of you. And you’re expected to buy into the fantasy 200 percent. FANTASY ISLAND isn’t just a lame 70’s tv show. It’s where you and the covert narcissist live together. It’s where you both pretend the narcissist is perfect and superior. It’s where you pretend you don’t see all the godawful things he’s done to you. Finicky - everything is their way or the Highway. You can do nothing right after a certain point in the devaluation process. Coverts will pick you apart for breathing. For existing. They’ll provoke you into erupting with contempt towards them, then use your reaction to confirm their own cognitive distortions and wrong thinking about you. See? You are a shitty person. They knew that. You just treated them with the contempt they expected from you (you were only fighting back but that’s just semantics) Narcissists are like toddlers toting around a grownup body. And like most toddlers they can be FINICKY. Finicky Eaters are five-year-olds who refuse broccoli. A covert narcissist is finicky too-about your behavior, your tone, the mere hint of a double standard from you, whether you constantly meet their exacting standards of “fairness”, whether you utter sounds in the correct way to avoid offending their “royal person”, and whether you satisfactorily reorder your surroundings to best suit their comfort. You best be digging for those freezer-burnt chicken nuggets because there’s no way the Covert will ever eat the broccoli youre trying to FOIST on him. Finished - they will discard you in the most calloused and brutal way possible. In the end they’ll blame you for everything and treat you like shit and ghost you. They will smear you to anyone and everyone. They will make you sound Utterly Insane. Completely batshit crazy. On top of all of this, they will be seethingly angry with YOU when they tortured you for months or years. FINES. FINISHED. GONE. GHOSTED. YA BURNT. IT’S OVER. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. I’M ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOU BEGGED ME TO STAY. LET IT GO ALREADY. YOU’RE PATHETIC. LOVE YOU? I DONT LOVE YOU. I DON’T EVEN LIKE YOU. You start out thinking you found the nicest person in the world. You begin by thinking you’ve found your soul mate. YOU end pondering how broke you are and wondering if you can buy a bullet and rent a gun. Don’t do that. Do exactly why you’re doing. Get on Quora. Read. Let knowledge lift you out of the poverty of human decency you’ve been existing in. Let the victims of narcissistic abuse lift you up with the common experiences we all share. At the end of covert abuse, or while it’s still happening, the worst part is feeling completely alone. Quora let’s you know you’re not alone. There are thousands of people just like you who have suffered at the hands of narcissists. They’ve suffered, but more importantly, they made it through the wilderness, regained their lives and took control of their destinies. AND TODAY THEY ARE THRIVING.

Just know you are precious! That's probably why the narcissist hand picked you. ❤️ Sorry to hear

15 yrs🙋🏽‍♀️ and going

I just realized my husband is narcissistic and will never change. He is covert and it’s only against me. He cheated Lon me and left. But I took him back. He continues with gaslighting , passive aggression. I’m so sick! Physically. I don’t know that to do .

Oh I hope you are alright, seek help if you are suffering.

I resonate. ❤ I've heard it called the "Dark Night of the Soul" from PTSD. to Peace 😊 # Education # No Contact!

I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm not the same since my last relationship, which was with a narcissist with BPD combined, as far as I can tell.

@@lynnebucher6537 we learn and we grow. It's all we can do. ❤

Your words resonate with me. No words for the pain! It's changed me. Betrayal/abuse I would not wish on anyone! # healing. Namaste 🙏 ❤

Yes

That's exactly it! That's how you know.... 🙏

it’s ESSENTIAL: flexibility. a key to life game. stay teachable. be flexible

Wow ! Definitely a gamer-changer because most don’t have this slot of flexibility in basic communication let alone a relationship.😩

I never thought of that, good point 😊

The Pharsees n king saul are typical example

Absolutely!!! Look at the story of nabal and Abigail. God protected her. Even Jacob was a narc. Look at how he manipulated his dad and brother. How he treated his wife Leah vs his favorite wife Rachel. It's described so many places in God's word. I believe He opened my eyes to see the evil. He is strengthening me. Even though I feel broken Jesus is Faithful. If the story isn't good, then the story isn't done.

I was reading somewhere, there is a demon named narciss. There is other demons with names also. There is a demon named sarcas. Those 2 d names right there sure sound like the roots of narcissism & sarcasm! I do not like them. My heart & soul belong to Jesus ❤❤❤❤❤

Hi, can I ask what do u mean by premeditated and dangerous?

​@@mamababy7708it means they know how to control their tones of voice which is apart of the manipulation tactics. They are dangerous because they are acting and have developed the skill of mastering deception thru masking their intention and their true feelings. Pretending to authentically care when they don't. Pretending to not be angry (calm tone) yet are truly angry inside. Those people are dangerous because they intent is to harm you by extracting information from you in order to cause harm, not to cause joy or elevate you.

​​@@mamababy7708 premeditated indicates they planned on pretending to care and show empathy (they planned out being fake). They are dangerous because their false empathy is only to gain something from you which more than likely will cause hurt. It's like the bible says, the devil comes as a form of light (he knows some truth yet only comes to steal, kill, destroy)

@@healthbar8439 this descrihes a covert narcissist

@@healthbar8439you have put it so accurately -

Agreed! ❤

I believe forgiveness only in fact encourages the narc to 'lock in' again to your relationship with them, and enable the abuse and control to continue. This is no 'ordinary' disorder - it's sick, vile, and totally obsessive. They once locked people away who could not operate safely and with respect to others in society: I believe NPD certainly is now at almost plague proportions and similar control should be implemented, for the safety of everyone ELSE in society. LONG after you've gotten away from the narc who's taken control of YOUR life, you find you then can 'forgive' on an intellectual level - but go them and tell them about that? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER.

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Amen 🌄

That’s very sad glad you were awakened to it ❤️

@@elizabethf9096 It's not better in Western societies. Men in Western societies are simply more covert, passive-aggressive and manipulative than other men. I hope you will awaken to that truth someday. 💖

So sad 😢🙏🏾♥️

Absolutely SELFIE..... Back before social media, I don't remember anyone taking and developing pics of their meals, a new outfit or activity and snail mailing it to everyone they know

Can youi explain what you just said? What do you mean by 'creating currency out of attention'?

@@brynne77 currency out of attention would be , the likes and comments Ya see it all the time, maybe someone posts a pic with something like "I wish I was pretty " all the comments are about how beautiful and wonderful the person is. Attention is addictive. We're raising generations of narcissists by constantly posting them, ball games, school events, medical issues etc. Kids are being taught that everything should be everyone's business and constant positive comments are feeding the narcissist need of affirmation and attention. When I was a kid, family and friends typically knew your business. Parents didn't call everyone they knew about it. There is NO privacy in kids lives

Someone craving attention on social media has zero to do with the trauma an actual narcissist puts their partner through.

No, it only helped expose the worst ones because they're drawn to the attention. Most people have some narcissistic tendencies, what this doctor is talking about is more serious pathology. Humans were using, abusing, and chasing clout in good numbers long before the internet. The subjects of most fine art are the same exact things as the pics posted online, just as selfies are just the glamour portraits our grammas took made ore easily accessible for us to replicate.

I agree :) for forgiveness, someone needs to be sorry. I always say this. I might let it go, yes it would be a lie if I said it doesn’t affect me. Yes it bothers me and that is how I shape myself now: I know who I wanna be or who I am. But I don’t forget it it’s so so important to distinguish it all

Narcissists never say they're sorry and mean it & they sure in the heck don't make things right." Personally, I hope to forgive my mother, but I just can't and won't, for now! Let's focus on healing and maybe someday we'll get there & maybe we won't and that's okay.

Forgiveness is an illusion. ❤

I thought that I had to forgive, in order to heal, because of the school of thought that advocates this belief. This talk helped me realise that I've let go, that I became indifferent to what was happening to my mother, but I've not forgiven. And that feels right to me: I forgive people who have done wrong because they made a mistake but are otherwise decent people. Forgiveness is extending grace towards someone else, who will take it and make better choices as a result. Forgiveness cannot take place when the other person has no intention of ever making kinder choices as a result of my forgiveness. I've let my mother go, and I've worked through the trauma, so that I can lead a healthy life but forgiveness has had no part in that journey.

Forgiveness never happens fully … we will move on without them … that’s all

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@@JayShettyPodcast. RU-vid algorithm just shared Prof Sam Vaknin’s channel with me today. His years of research on narcissism is groundbreaking, brilliant, and pragmatic about the disorder. It defies some of today’s assumptions and misconceptions about narcissism. Please watch and interview him! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--bF2NyJ-ouI.htmlsi=4gi4paQxnCjT1A-B Prof Sam Vaknin

You're alone even when you're with them!

Your life is never a waste. The good and bad are lessons building us for who we end up being in the end. It starts with you, be gentle with yourself, pick life back up and try another path.

So real

You feel grief too, for losing the person who you potentially thought was really there but who was only pretending to be good

I want to come back and read this, if you see this, just like, I need this reminder, be cold and unavailable

I felt this one

Yes! Dr. Ramani's videos helped keep me alive and Sane!

Me too 👌🏽

Me too

Me three! 🙋🏻‍♀️

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

If you look up Shelly Renee White online, you will find all the information you need. Thank you.

In a relationship with a narcissist there is no solution. Except losing yourself, your confidence and getting hurt by the other person anyways seems to be a solution for you.

This is powerful. "...forgiveness is remembering without anger." thank you.

Exactly… well said. thank you

Her aversion to the concept of forgiveness is a defense mechanism because she refuses to accept that it I'd now okay to let go of a terrible unfortunate experience she had no control of

@@lorriebrown1243 I think a lot of people believe that their resentment is prevention and protection against further harm but instead it falsely tells the self that they cannot recover from further hurt. On the other hand, forgiveness is a reminder that I CAN move on from whatever is done in the future. I can then live and love with a big old open heart! You are insightful, @lorriebrown!!

This is all so wrong! The condescending way for some to define "forgiveness" for others is such an arrogant impulse. As Dr. Ramani said, forgiveness is very subjective. I used to be very forgiving and empathetic towards my abusers a few years ago, none of what's said here in this thread is true. I was forgiving because I had NOT healed and I hadn't found my self-respect. It left a door open to abuse. I have now closed that door. I am forgiving towards non-abusive people, but not towards people who intentionally harm others and demand that they get away with harm, maniuplation and deceit. That's just enabling. The only person you have to forgive in the context of abuse is yourself. Forgive yourself for allowing this to happen, forgive yourself for abandoning yourself.

Same. The long parade of abusive people that started with my mother who I let walk all over me saddens me so much now that I understand what happened. I'm so glad to be able to at least now have some degree of safety thanks to teachers like Dr. Ramani.

Our families groomed us.

Same here. In hand-sight I found out I was able to be with a narcissist for that long because the behavior was familiar. The stress levels, walking on eggshells, ups and downs was familiar from my mother.

once you get honest with yourself, thats all you need. for me, i made a video on my channel called when you think youre crazy. yiall will love it

Thank YOU!

Completely agree!

Yes. But I have empathy for the handicapped kids she’s feeding off… and all the unwitting flying monkeys that support her!

🎉I can relate

❤❤❤ You got this!

Good for you!

​@@JayShettyPodcast.What about you? Heard you are a f r a u d

For me it was 32 years with a covert narc.

I’ve lost 35 years of a toxic marriage and finally had the courage to leave because of Dr.Ramani Thank you for waking me up from a lifetime of nightmares It’s only been 4 months of no contact and I can finally breathe 🙏

❤❤❤

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Well, I forgive , but told him I’m not God, I can’t forget. Gone dissociated, cuz I can’t go no contact!

Amen.

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