The Narcissist Family KNOWS (YES THEY DO) 

The family members are often narcissists too. A non narcissist in the family will be scapegoated

The family is dysfunctional. First red flag I ignored 😒

They know, but enable and protect because of the status of the family cult. They are well aware of the cycle with a secret eye roll 🙄

Yep they know and they sit back in silence whilst someone’s life is about to be destroyed, bunch of cowards

The little games they play that add up over time will put you in a bad mind space. These are terrible people who are not mentally healthy. To manipulate and torture someone like narcs do should be a crime.

I see them whispering together,then total silence when I appear.

The family members are thick as thieves. They know and they watch you being targeted and will sacrifice you every gathering, to achieve their goals. In my case to keep up appearances as a ‘perfect family’. They showered me with love in the beginning, but it was all a lie. The day I filed for divorce was the last day any of them would speak to me. Very, very hurtful memory, for sure 😔

They know. It runs in families. There are many red flags when you first meeting their families.

Yes, the narcissist family is aware that the narcissist is indeed a narcissist. The sad part is that they did not tell us, and they would never mentioned this to us! The narcissist family is also a pack of wolves, the whole family is a narcissist; preying on an innocent sheep.

My dad was with narcissistic woman, my mother, from a narcissistic family and their friends. He was totally destroyed and killed age 44. I was 16 when dad passed away. They set me up created a huge smear campaign against me and absolutely destroyed my life at age 19. I am 45 and am still recovering. It was very very tough; I had a legion of enemies disguised as family and friends against me. God rescued me, saved me and renewed my body. I have a very powerful testimony. This topic is real, its spiritual and demonic.

Like the crazy aunt in the attic, there are family members that know something is rotten in Denmark. The day before I married a covert narcissist, her 13 year old brother came to me and said, "You seem like a good guy, but my sister is playing you. She's more trouble than you can imagine."

I agree that it feels criminal and family are accomplices. This has been awful and almost feel like I was deliberately targeted. No justice other than moving on! Shame!!

I’m a grown man and I’m still confused about this issue. I always thought it was my fault that I was looked down on, and to a certain extent it was. But once I got away from all of it my mind cleared up.

Their family will know how dirty they’re doing you, and try to use you too because they think you’re a sucker. All smiles in your face; clowning you behind your back. Narcs and their family are snakes.

In my case, the narcissist’s family were absolutely aware of his mindset. They created it, they encouraged it, and worst of all they supported his discard of me because I wouldn’t accept the dynamic. I’ve watched that family go through so many friends over the years because the friends no longer served their purpose. On at least two occasions family friends directly asked us if they did something wrong because the narc’s family ghosted them. Looking back, I see it so clearly now. My narcissist was raised to be just that. If he was ever going to win his parents approval he had to be just like them. I tried to show him another way but that only made it worse because it helped him justify his discard of me. Family of origin issues are a goldmine when we talk about narcissism. There’s just so much to be considered!

For me, I saw it in her family’s facial expressions and in their eyes. I saw their expressions as strange at the time and I forever kept wondering what those faces were trying to express, to ascertain. It seems as though their faces were asking me, “Do you know?” Their expressions forever haunted me… until now… 19 years later! Andrew, it’s been a long and winding and terrible road I have been on. Thank you for being transparent and willing to pass along the wisdom and the knowledge.

The hardest part is looking back I know now his family and friends absolutely knew about all the other supply UGHHHH … I think about dinners over their house they were absolutely lying and covering his stories for him … it was like masterpiece dinner theater they all had to be acting out of fear that the narc would terrorize them too if they didn’t play along … TERRIBLE TIMES GLAD IT’S OVER 🙏🏽

My ex has BPD.. Her family loved/loves me and completely understood why i had to cut ties.. They ultimately have her back at the end of the day obviously. But they respect the effort I tried to put in.. They made it very clear that they appreciate me and wish me nothing but the best... They KNOW how she is and that shes untreated.. Do they know what "it" is? I dont believe so. But I do.

Hear, hear! Yes, of course, of course! A narcissist displays his/her true face within the family. In society, they want to shine bright like a diamond. 💎 This was a very good one. 🙏

Yess! This is so true. I had to detach myself from it. Always some drama, secret, and lies. Their enablers of the foolishness!

My ex narc’s family warned me, I don’t think they know he’s a narc but they know something is wrong with him. So they warned me about his controlling behaviors, strange behaviors and actions-and would even call him out and defend me. I was lucky and got out after a year. Folks, when the family warns you, get out! The grass is greener on the other side!

They always say don't say anything..enablers

Of course they knew. They said things that in hindsight made it perfecly clear that the acted in opposition to my inetrests. And they were unable to talk about certain topics. That was openly stated early on. Red flag, beware of people who limit the number of topics allowed.

just found this older posting... when i broke up with the narcissist, after 14 years, one of his daughters actually said... I don't know how you stayed with him as long as you did. I was a bit shocked. But it was very confirming to hear that of course and made me realize even more I had made the right decision. That was before I was educated on what a narcissist was. I am now educated.

This is so true. My father is a narcissist and for many years he held the financial power in his hands. I am the second and last child in our family and my elder sister was always the first victim, after my mother... My sister argued, fought and tried to stay normal... But the fights were horrible and tense. We were talking about our narcissist among us, but never told him the truth about his narcissism - only when we fought a harsh fight with him, while crying in despair - . I added the detail of being the second kid in family because I tried to avoid all these confrontations with my father. Because I witnessed all the fights and heard all the horrible devaluating words all those years... And I think as a survival instinct, I developed a calmer attitude to everyone and especially to the narcissist of family. Narcissist harms everyone in every different way. They always create sad memories and a sad feeling along the years... Just wanted to share. Thank you for this honest and important video.

Yes, afterwards the family admitted they had known but: "you are such a nice lady, we thought he would change." What?!!

My exes family was composed of either Narcissists or their shriveled up, defeated supply with no will to resist. It was amazing how fast they wrote me and my children off when I stood up and refused her abuse anymore.. I will never open myself to people and their families again.

Yes. They know, and usually all of them are narcisist and good actors and actresses. All are liars and fakers.

So true. My ex narcissist family kept their distance from him, they never wanted him to stay in their homes for long. When he occasionally visited them they would tell him how great he was but were always wanting him to leave. His father actually thanked me for looking after him, I was a little shocked as I thought I had a relationship with him and wasn't a care worker 😅

My own opinion is that it's generational. It's learned behaviour and it has to have been learned somewhere. My wife has the most odious self absorbed narc mother. A great teacher.

The narc actually said to me in a moment of weakness “All I know and my family knows is divide and conquer.”

I found it so odd that when I met my covert lady friend that she was never allowed to any family get togethers. None! Not Christmas, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Birthdays. She blamed it on her son’s wife, and she was also was never allowed to babysit their daughter alone. I am pretty sure now that I know now why.

First time i met the family, the sis in law- awkwardly hugged me for a long tight hug- i knew that was a direct message. Peace All.

Thank you, Andrew. 🎉

His cousin once said “he’s fighting his own demons”

I agree 💯, the direct family never said anything about my ex narc wife it to me but the distant cousins would mention things like " I hope your able to hang in there when the games start, your a good person." Or "If you want to cheat, I won't tell." I didn't think much of it then being much Younger than I am now. As time has passed, I understand what happened to me for just shy of a decade. If only I had the knowledge of this years ago. Thank you for providing quality information.

So true, I would go to a family function and depending on what lies the narcissist was telling them currently, they were either like deer in the headlights or all over me. It was an eerie feeling. They spent alot of their time and effort trying to sort out, manage, solve the narcissists problems. They were war weary from it. They would give each other knowing looks. When in a crowd with their friends, they always made offhand comments, like "probably won't be seeing you again" etc. They knew what I didn't, that it wasn't a forever thing....... Sometimes I thought I was in a play where everyone had a copy of the script but me. Freaky.

So very true! You are correct in them not wanting to being the next victim.We know it's that way,because what us narcissism...believing you are and wanting to be in control...in all aspects and environments...The narc feels really powerful knowing that everyone is playing their GAME...That they have this ability to affect every one else mood and personality....These people are sick and dangerous....

I do now. I’ve always known something wasn’t right . I have always seen patterns . The control & manipulative ways . Hurtful words . So much more negative drama , shift blaming . So much. 😢But I just took it all .

Thank you! I was/am very hurt that my ex-narc’s family did not reach out to me after we broke up but this helps explain why. Also, one of the red flags that I ignored were odd little comments and behaviors by his family that make sense now that I know who/what he really is.

I figured they knew, and you're right, nobody wants to be the target of the bully! Thank you, Andrew. NAMASTE

My God our experience of their family is identical! It makes me sick

Narcissist sister. Figured it out in my late 20's. Now the rage, the thin skin, the hatred for individuals both family and non-family, it made sense once I figured it out and got educated. Honestly she is not the only one. There are a few in the family, and a few empaths like myself.

When he would talk to his mother every week or 2 I thought they were having a close mother son relationship. He slipped once and told me how uncomfortable he was whenever he would have to talk to her. I was so shocked cause he had me believing they were close. All lies!

I had the exact same experience . Her close relatives were telling me things about her when she was in another room etc. I wish I had listened it cost me thousands . Thanks Andrew for your guidance 😊

I kind of get the feeling that my own mother's family is very narcissistic, but she seems like the main narcissist they're all afraid of.

My ex-husband's sister said one year into our marriage that she expected our marriage would last no longer than two years. I was surprised and mystified at the time, wondering what she could possibly mean! Now I see that she meant he is a narcissist and was not sincere. She also remonstrated with me when I overgave during the marriage. They didn't ever really love and accept me, but they watched while he used me up.

I reached out directly. These was no response. That explains everything.

Andrew, I could go further in with this topic, also, and I will. I've been with narc since '90. Only twice have I/we had family gatherings. All those times were eggshell moments. I thought that maybe it was my breath!!! lololol

Also... the major enablers! Be safe, well & happy

I’ve been ostracized for over five years once, for protecting my child from family violence. I am ostracized again for objecting to my brothers violence towards me. I made it official by blocking this time. They know they’re abusive or there wouldn’t be a code of secrecy.

So true , they were happy I let him into my family. Their secret was covered. It was a strange family, all weird in their head. Secretive, there was something I could not put my finger on. The ex was the crazy uncle. I am happy to be out of this circus. A full time job for a psyciatrist ....

People, who are with a narcisist are forced to have narcisistic behavior towards other people as well. They cannot go against a narcisist, because that is a dead end en never will work. When the narcisist leaves and they are on their own, this behavior disappears. The narcisist is not able to change, but the people around him/her who tend to copy his/her behavior, can change.

Yes! This happened to me exactly as you said. I was a fool and trusted people in her family that they had my best interest at heart. They played me. I gave up so much that I could have fought for, but they convinced me that it wasn't necessary. Ten years later and I am just being woken by you Andrew. Thank you and God bless!

They certaintly do. What's worse is that some of they enable their behaviour.

My in-laws never cared for me. I always knew because I was born with discernment. They never respected me. I felt like I was in a minni cult dealing with my in-laws. My husband wanted to spend every weekend for years at my in-laws. He never took me on dates or took us on family vacations. His idea of fun was watching television for hours or watching movies for hours or being on his phone for hours. If we ever missed a weekend my inlaws would get mad 😡 and question our whereabouts. They always treated us like children even to this day and I will be 45 years old this year. I was 15 when I meet my husband but it took me by the grace of God to get out after 27 years. My husband and in-laws were so draining and very toxic. After a while even my son's told me verbally they didn't like going over to their grandparents house anymore. Thank God I made it out in my right mind it was really taking a toll on my mental health and my physical health.

I call it the sick circle.

My narc ex, when we went to visit her family in Houston got into a discussion about her cousin's husband. He would take these mysterious trips to Central America to "visit his family" but wouldn't take his wife with him. My narc ex chimed in with "that's not right something is going on" and her aunt replied to her with "you're one to talk, you have your issues too", and the room got silent. My narc ex demeanor changed for the rest of the night after that comment. They knew. Maybe not the clinical term, but they knew she had issues.

She might supported the extended family with your money and efforts. They are not known for philantropy.

This is the absolute truth...no one wants to be the next victim!

That was my family..was horrible...as a child i was sent to my room for days with no food because of my crime...the crime was squeezing the toothpaste wrong. Welcome to the sick world of having narcissist parents

Oh for sure they know! Her mom tried to warn me in a subtle way! She said “I can’t count how many times I have had to help her move”. I still remember the look that her brother gave me when we met…it was kind of a smirk, like “you have no idea what is about to happen to you!” Narc families are so co-dependent and jacked up! My family is still like that.

Thank you for this Andrew. My ex threatened to turn his family against me and did so by telling lies about me. After 20 years of love and care to his three grown children spouses and our grandchildren it was tough to accept they chose to side with him/believe him. I still struggle with wondering if they actually believe him or it’s that they know the financial favors he does for them would stop if they challenged him. I realize it’s best they are not in my life because he will always lie about me. So at 59 I am finding the strength to move forward and start my life over. I will not miss the chaos, and exhaustion his devaluing, manipulating and lying to me and about me brought to my life.

Yes😅 you mean to say...it's like the uncle in Jail. Everyone knows about him but no one talks about him😅

They always told me: dont mind him🙄

Holy shnikes…this describes my persons family to a T. After I had my awakening I have refused to go to the narc mothers house. I do not even speak to her. All the lies and manipulation, they can have their own freak show without me!

This fully resonates with my experience…I’m forty one years old and my eyes are just now opening to the spiritual warfare that goes on in the the world. My goodness.

Yes, the memories come back, it's a real wake up call

They know. They leave you in abuse because they cannot bear the rage of the narcissist. Unfortunately as an empath your journey is to deal with things alone. No help, may God continue to fight our battles in Jesus name. As an empath you're quick to recognise a narc. Your family members on the other hand don't have a discerning spirit, so they always fall for the mask. Thank God now we can just look in their eyes and you can just tell.

Thank you Andrew for this video. 🙏 You say what I always thought about the N's family I was in. As if they had a secret. Protecting him. Being in this family for such a long time but not really being in. Not really accepted. And he was the weird uncle. The outcast. Not treated as an adult. They had no direct contact with him. As if they were avoiding him. But they were so happy with me they said. I never noticed this happines. Not towards me. I have 2 daughters, they never knew their names!! Strange!! I think I took care of their problem. Hided their secret. When I stopped the relationship with N, they said I imagined Narcisism. It was something I picked up from face book. I blocked them as well. They kept on greeting me when I saw them in my village. Like a happy family. So weird...

In my experience they know, enable, encourage and facilitate the abuse. Its hard to accept but true.

You notice there is always a conflict going on. They fight with their siblings,etc.

I understand what you mean. once the fog lifts you can clearly see the destructive things the narcissist done.

My God Andrew I can still see and feel the condition you're in here and this was just one year ago. I am so glad for you that you are doing so much better now 😊 However I can also see how courageous you are that you are making this video despite of all these feelings and the condition you are in here and you keep going forward here. Well done! 💯🙏😊

My mother-in-law-to- be told me that her son tended to be selfish, a little like calling a tsunami a bit of a high tide. In a way it felt like I had known him my whole life because I was very good at spotting and avoiding a lot of those land mines. Gradually I realized that being with both my husband and my mother was intolerable. They would both struggle for control of ME. Neither of them gave a damn about what that did to me. Slowly it dawned on me that I was raised by a narcissist (although I didn't know that term) and then I had married one. That's why it seemed I had known him my whole life. Sadly, I signed him into the USA (from England) which made me responsible for his finances. No escape, unless he became a citizen or committed a felony. And guess what!!, my dad had signed my mother into the USA from England too. Dad was a good guy, good career, laughed a lot and he ended up dying at age 48. Mom, with NO empathy at all, informed me that he was MY father and I would have to handle the funeral arrangements. Losing him broke my heart. Many years later, when my mother died, I didn't shed a tear. What I felt was relief. I think my brother married a narcissist too. Does this often happen in families?

The truth always shines bright in the light of God!

Thanks a million, Andrew!

They knew and they hid it from me. They would joke about it in front of me calling “it” the big family secret, but not tell me what it was. Took many years to figure it out.

Narcissists 15 yr old daughter emailed me saying "if you and Dad break up, it will be this fault".

My father is a narcissist and my mother changed from a fighter to enabler as she is getting old. I don't want to go into details(deleted previous long comment) but I recently become educated about narcissism despite being a daughter of a narcissist(never knew he is a narc until just now) and was recently got out of a 4years relationship with a narcissist (his mother is a narc too) my family situation is different from other narcissistic family because we were not aware of the narcissism and hence is more of a victims ourselves. And thats why I fall into trap with a narcissist but their family system was different from ours and everything that you mentioned I could associate with their behavior including giving me hints about his abusive nature so that I could run away, I didn't understand that why would they say something bad about their own family member. Not all family members plays along with narcissist but then we can't stop them from what they do so its better to ignore and avoid them as much as you can.

Omg..I couldn't help but laugh..but yes my ex narc.sister would say 'oh....( his name) what's in it for him.' Now I understand like you said...even the sister knew it's all about him

Andrew...this came up on my feed. You look so much different today. Stronger .....healed. God bless you

Oh yes, the family & the best friends always knew about it. His sister f.ex. told/warned me: ...you know he is not the marrying kind.. nope. One of his bestest friends told me:...he is not treating you right.. The wife of one of his old school friends was the only one, who dared to kinda say straight out whats up & I was told she is depressed & nuts.. why did we not listen to the words? The red flags were there all along. The family is scared of the narcissist & they often also depend on his wallet. Dirty games. Let"s not play them anymore. Thxs Andrew💫

This is why. I am distanced from my family now.

Yes, his stepdad expressed his concerns to me on several occasions. He didn’t use the term narcissist but he was worried that I would take my own life and how maybe I would be better off alone. At the time I didn’t understand why he would think that I would be wt risk of committing suicide, but now I know why he would separate me from the others to have these little talks. Even his mom tried to support me, saying: “I love my son but I know him”. This was all before I even knew what a narcissist is.

like "high school secrets" yes, like immature little brats. The narc does manipulate people in many different ways. "always some sort of secretive drama", a den of lies, yes!

Narc had a rage episode with me in front of his mom 😖. She turned the other cheek and stayed out of it without intervention

This really rings true 👍 Andrew I applaud you ! You're truly doing God's work . So far I'm learning that I've done everything the right way. Many suspicions have been validated. This very important work, it is empowering. I shared 1 of your videos with the new woman in my life so that she can understand , she does understand that the work of the narcissist backfired on her and has made a better man of me. Thank you very much. It would be an honor to meet you.

Yes, they know. That's how they became that way and learned their traits. My ex family members consisted of narcissists and sociopaths. They all hated and were dismissive of me. They enabled and encouraged his behaviour.

I used to think "why didn't they warn me? " But I realized I would not have listened anyway

My youngest brother has narcissist traits. His siblings and cousins know. You are not going to change them and so you learn to handle them without confrontation. They love confrontation.

Thanks, Andrew! 🕯

Sometimes the family just wants to off-load them on to you, in my experience

They know something is wrong with these heathens. They pull out the popcorn to watch the show these clowns 🤡 put on.

Sad truth and im trying for the narcissist to change their mind😢happy day my friend ❤some family are more worse then others and if you have a great, loving kind family hold them close

Only recently have I come to the realization that my oldest son (62) is a narcissist. I am 78 and I'm sure you know all that I have been subjected to by him. Cry a river. Thousands of dollars in loans or through decent never an effort to repay. Always hoping he would change and wow, sometimes I would get hooked all over again. Andrew, thank you for your valuable videos. My daughter in law, is married to him and she is watching your videos. She is the one who suggested I watch you. May you be blessed and your videos reach those in need. Love, Lacy

Yes, the family knew 😢

I know what you mean the Narcissist works in so many ways you know what's up is when they're is more than one narcissist that you are dealing with. How is that going to be dealt with? That's a defiant thing to look at too . How ever it is that is the person has a big job ahead of them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Andrew never can not get enough knowledge about this subject God bless you 🙏❤️✌️🧠👍💯🇺🇲📝📚⏳

My ex's mother blamed all his troubles as an adult on an undiagnosed learning disability.

my ex' s sister said to me, I love him, he is my brother but I coukd never imagine being with someone like that; they rely on him for fixing problems, getting things done, solving real difficult issues, the narc is good at those kinds of things