The Neuroscience and Power of Safe Relationships - Stephen W Porges - Smart Couple 116 

its part of the dynamic, most bullies are not that smart. they just feel deep shame/rage and don't know how to get out of their cycle either.

🙏🏼

lol. agreed

nice. you liked this one eh?

Thank you Jayson. Thank you Johan

Thank you

Thank you! This is so appreciated!

Thanks and totally helpful!

right? thx

lol

right?

53 now

yes

I don’t agree. I get that soothing from cats. Dogs make me agitated or uneasy or nervous. Too much excitement and activity and demand.

@@whoopsie5 me too, also being attacked by a big dog as a child didn't help. Horses I feel safer around.

Your response to a dog depends on whether it is yours or another's in most cases...I have been lunged at by tied up dogs in the past so I no have a real fear response to other peoples dogs.

@@whoopsie5 same. I don't handle the cloying desperate neediness and incessant demands to be relaxing at all, not to mention the smell and begging 😆 Give me a small quiet soft purring cat in my lap any day!

Amazing, thank you !

you're so welcome Katie!

:)

Glad you liked it, Nathan. Thank you very much!

Thank you!

Thanks!!

me too

sure

right?

🙏🏼

Thank you very much!

glad you liked it

agreed

Thanks for sharing!

lol.

I have the same question.

You're welcome!

right?

@@JaysonGaddis yes yes! Another good one for you would be Dr. Laurence Heller. : )

Thank you

listen to my podcasts with Dr Dan Siegel and Dr Stan Tatkin

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

DragOnFlyZ TruthfulLove It's crazy how many people are talking about the New Masculinity, Attachment, trauma, personality and relationship styles, secure functioning, emotional ability to self regulate or to use co-regulation in a RELATIONSHIP. It had to start now, diving deep INTO the disowned parts of ourself bc its critical for long-term survival, success and wellbeing. It's critical for men not all men ( women as well) to get out of their own way and stop the damage to their mind , body, spirit as it effects their entire family, happiness, career success, and other major practical aspects in life. It's so deep and Im studing up on neuroscience and neurobiology on top of the former. I so love how Life coaches are teaching this left and right, such as Dan Siegel, Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispensa, Stan Tatkin, Clayton Olson, Gottman Institute and of COURSE... MY FAVORITE MAN...Jayson Gaddis. I love the elephant journal, Ted talks, coaches LIKE BRENDAN Burchard and the Knowledge for Men podcast.I have a life coach for myself but i love studying the science of evolution and human behaviour, understanding the thinking process of people's decisions and hearing success stories. I'm very happy to one day start with this work and coaching people . It's AMAZING to help people once you have the skills, tools and knowledge to experience a life that you never knew existed. Good for you too, I hope the best for you. I am fascinated by the "New FOUND second half part of the parasympathic system. It's interesting. As I'm dealing with a group of parental or fixed mindset family who are physically and mentally ill because they are not going to do the work that's proven to be a pathway for longevity and we have it now, I'm loving this. HOW can introduce this seriousness to a 46 yr old man who doubts EVERYTHING other than his own genius work of health and science. This is changing and it's occurring at a rapid rate. Is it because this science could be fearful of his narritave so he's terrified of sickness and death. So if I dont say anything, it's enabling his limited belief. Is it threatening to him if I bring this up. I have done cognitive therapy for years. Freedom and safety to me is HAVING the realization that I am here now and stay present during times of fear or freezing. I am so resilient due to the physical and emotional trauma during times of my marriage over that time period as well as dealing with major physical and intractable and degenerative diseases that I now on Disability at the age of thirty eight. I see this gave me an advancement in my lufe and I see it as life changing in a profound and positive way. people who haven't dealt with real adversity have A DIFFICULT TIME RETURNUNG BACK TO HOMEOSTASIS AND they can lose THEIR identity and purpose which leads to SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF relationship with society and see success in a MATERIAL way. It's so hard to want someone you love to see the importance of this. next question, Does testosterone levels have any ties to this process ( Vegal nerve) and depleting other hormones or affecting the entire limbic system and balance between the two sides of brains as well ? Because of society, expectations, burn out, stress overload, suppressing emotions by believing knowledge is more important in the long run than emotional intelligence and safety? You NAILED MY FAVORITE Topics. I love this more than anything I've ever heard of . THANK YOU SO MUCH. I am sorry for the grammatical errors and Im not so great bc I've put a crazy spin on trying to make my point on too many topics and hope it's helping to answer any questions I have? THANK you. THIS IS MY TOP 5 PODCAST. GREAT WORK, I LOVE THIS GUEST AND WILL BE FOLLOWING THE WORK.

Thank you! Are you going to join us at the Relationship School this next year?

You have one early start!!

Jayson Gaddis is this why men want to play in the bedroom to regulate their stress response that had been highjack over a year or two from overdoing vs being. Meaning that BEING serious and productive is the way to distract from being triggered at the same time come grab ass to release the build up toxic chemicals built in the mammalian brain? Accurate or am I way off. Your question about the tone that triggers your wife is my only one trigger still but I didn't recall any verbal attacks in my upbringing. I'm working on that by saying he's triggered at something that he may not accept in me. There was a huge threat to him if I had a differ in opinion with anything he " use to teach me". With your wife working in the PACT program, how had that helped?

DragOnFlyZ TruthfulLove a

:)

:)

check out porges’s safe and sound protocols. see his website

Irene Lyon's youtube channel has several long videos discussing the freeze response and learning to work with it.

Great!

Amazing!

great question. Steve probably could answer. Mine answer: triggered comes from a different part of the vagus nerve and brain. this part of you wants to to grow. the triggered part wants you to be safe.

Craig Nicholson So sorry to hear of this injury. Perhaps videos that I found recently, not sure, but I think it was either Dr. Porges or Dr. Bruce Lipton discussing the absence of neurological development in prematurely birthed and autistic children to form facial expression which lead their caretakers to believe they are not acknowledged or loved. I can't remember the specific title, but if you listen to a number of offerings, I am sure you will find it. You may find answers to your questions. I hope you do.

I can say yes, but can you clarify what you are asking?

kundalini perhaps? not sure

Thanks Heidi

I'm so in-love with the social engagement system/polyvagal theory I did an educational video with CHIPMUNK demo at min 27 poor chipmunk, it's so cool you were able to interview Porges, thank you! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-w14HLjN7RGQ.html

I W alcohol and peace/safety are antithetical ♥️

What is the question exactly? The alcaholic would trigger, traumatize and retraumatize the spouse. Not to mention if the spouse and children don't already have ptsd and stress trauma response Neuro pathways set in dorsal vagal already. Meaning they are a good quite child. This is a vague question. But a loaded question.

🙏🏻

Because he was eg 20 when he got married and then 10 years in to the marriage he had his son x

Thanks for commenting!

Well, doh. That was just too logical for me to think through. Logic, as I understand it, is more of a left-brained thing, and we females are more right-brained. This is according to the work of Michael Gurian.