The Never Ending Cycle: Crisis, Coping, Advocacy (Ep. 104) 

Thank you….i don’t feel so alone….i love your statement …I’ve become a great compartmentalizer …..that is a great coping strategy 🙏🏻

Thank you so incredibly much for sharing your story Randye It’s incredibly helpful for us parents out here

Oh my... Randy, I'm so very glad I watched this podcast and heard your current crisis experience. So many times, I don't watch because of our current or ongoing crisis. Sometimes it's hard to be is such a mess and hear of everyone's grand successes. So much of this story is more familiar than I could ever imagine. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I'm sorry I'm experiencing it too!

Oh Randye, I am so sorry for your recent “shoot” but thank you so much for sharing all the shoots and the ladders along the way. It is tiring to say the least . Love to you ❤

I'm in Spring, Texas. My 28 y/o son has done to me all that you have described with your son... including the moving car incident ❤

I’m so sorry😢 but thank you so much for this. I know the pain and suffering and disappointments. It helps so much to hear that others understand. I’m not suffering this alone. I hate that you are dealing with it as well, of course but it helps so much to hear. I’m in Oregon and it’s horrible here getting help. Thank you so much for all that you ladies do. The books and your podcast are priceless.❤

Petition signed We need AOT in CT I’m involved Thirdly and most importantly I am so sorry Randy co morbid SMI and SUD is nearly impossible to navigate and see any form of consistent recovery my son has been in residential treatment almost two years with a recent relapse ( SMI triggered by weed) and set back from so much progress he was enrolled in college this fall moving forward the program encouraged him to restart med ( he also med non compliant) and the change is profound I pray with this relapse and retrograding of psychosis once he’s stable common sense will somehow over ride and take hold and he’ll participate in his well being ❤

Randye, I can totally identify with your terrifying experience with your son you shared in this episode. I had tears in my eyes for what you had to go through and flashbacks of my own experiences with my very sick, unstable son, and the harassment around my car. The constant angry demands for his money, his harassment of you for it, your holding firm on protecting the funds for his urgently needed dental work, the daily allowance for him, the purchase of grocery store gift cards for him and the car episode. I am sharing my two car harassment situations with my psychotic son to offer ideas for any others reading and watching this episode, loved one who find themselves in this unfortunate situation. Being harassed by your psychotic child in your car while driving or even parked is one of the scariest situations to be in! I had two very scary car episodes with my son who was very psychotic using hard drugs, back in 2021-22 and not willing to take any psychiatric medications to treat his psychosis. By the grace of God I somehow managed twice to avert a horrific accident, injury to me, him or anyone else! The first episode, I had just taken him to see a new psychiatrist who specialized in a new therapy treatment model for psychosis. When my son realized the doctor would not prescribe him Valium (one his drugs of choice at the time) because of his heavy drinking, he was so angry when leaving the appointment I became nervous with him in the car. He started screaming at me while I was driving him home. I became so rattled with fear and panic trying to drive, I was about to drive up the ramp to merge onto the freeway but something stopped me (thank God!). I immediately switched lanes quickly and pulled off the road into a new car dealership lot thinking there would be burley strong men there to help me. It was the middle of the weekday in the middle of the day, so they were open for business. I pulled up right beside their repair garage door. I told him to get out of my car, which he refused to do. I told him calmly and firmly there would be no problem for me to go and get one or more strong male mechanics to pull him from the car if he refused to leave. He reluctantly got out of the car. My car (a newer SUV) I had previously and purposely set to autolock for all doors and tailgate, as soon as you exit or put the car in drive or reverse. Best decision to buy this car for features like this! I tried to back up to get out of the car dealership lot but he blocked my car with his body at the back of the car. I very slowly started to back up anyway, which startled him and he jumped out of the way (which I was counting on) and I floored it to get out. I had to do some serious race car driver move to reposition my car to drive forward. During those split seconds, he ran around to the front hood of the car and landed a Jujitsu (he had years of lessons as young boy) high kick to the top of the hood of the car. I continued to drive forward, again he jumped quickly out of the way, and screeched out of the parking lot and sped onto the busy road leaving him behind staring at me which I could see in my rear view mirror. I shook for a good hour afterwards, sobbing in my car for what I just experienced and averted disaster. Unfortunately he did terrorize me again about 6 months later in the winter time in my car. He was demanding money and screaming at me for controlling his disability cheques. Again, I had to engage my survival instincts, calm quick thinking to get him out of the car (which he refused to leave). I handed him a $20 bill ( I usually never give him cash) to buy himself cigarettes at a convenience store which he never turns down. I told him I would wait for him in the car, he got out and I drove off as soon as I saw him enter the store. Now I always carry some cash in my wallet for emergencies like this. I stayed away from him for a week or two to regain my sanity. I have also had to move to a undisclosed location in the city so he does not know where I live, because he used to come to my home (he lives in his own apartment) regularly to harass me night and day and threaten to hurt me when he was out-of-control with his untreated psychosis and drug taking requiring me to call the police who had him removed from my property more than once!. They strongly advised me to move and not tell him where I live which I have done. This was in January 2022! It’s very sad to have to take these drastic steps but necessary for my own peace of mind which is necessary for my own health.. My sister who is a clinical psychologist and has worked with many clients with addictions and mental health problems for decades, said my quick, fox-like thinking and survival instincts saved me and him from serious injury in the two car incidents. It’s horrible that we have to learn these skills with our loved ones suffering from untreated Concurrent/Dual diagnosis. I have an excellent personal therapist who is helping me work through all the trauma of trying to help my suffering son. He has no memory of these episodes. I still have vivid flashbacks of them. Fortunately and miraculously my son is a lot better today, stable, going to University part time and loving it and doing well in his two courses, working a part time job, because he was put on Clozaril by his caring, dedicated, knowledgeable and highly skilled psychiatric team of psychiatrists, professors and researchers doctors at his University research teaching hospital in our city in April of this year. I moved back to this city in 2020 (where my children were born and raised) after leaving for 5 years to work in a more rural area of my province for the sole purpose of better access to excellent quality mental health care for my son. It has taken almost 5 years of my unwavering advocacy for him, to finally get the right treatment after many mental health crises, police involvement, and many, many hospitalizations. I have learned to never give up, take better care of myself, educate myself (this podcast is key) on the options available for treatment and supports for my son, and for me as family, recognize there will be good and bad days with him and celebrate and savour the good days and try to forget the bad days. And my active faith life has been an important life line for me. Our SMI loved ones are crazy foxes with their illness and we as caring family have to learn to be sane smarter foxes to stay ahead of this insidious disease. My son would probably be dead by now, (he already has suffered from several overdoses in the past ) using hard drugs if not for caring, compassionate family also trying to help him, constant advocacy from me for effective treatment, and the expert medical help from the psychiatrists and hospitals. And last and definately not least my active faith life and unwavering belief that God loves my son and wants him safe and living a good life as well as his family.

Maybe this will help someone: I bought my son, who lives a mile from me, the same keto cookbooks I have....one a Keto Instantpot cookbook, the other a Vegan Keto cookbook. I have some control over his diet as a result. He looks through the books and asks me to make what he picks. It's fun for me, and he loves the food. It's nourishing and filling, and he may notice he feels better than when he opts for fast food.

Eternally grateful “Three Moms In The Trenches”🥹