Oh I have insufferable perfectionism. What kept me in delayed life syndrome was my idea that if I couldn't do it (whatever "it" was) perfectly, I was a failure. I came to learn that the failure came by not trying. For the past 30 years, I realized I don't care about anyone else's opinion. I do what pleases me as far as creativity goes. I'm almost 68 and I am just beginning to learn how to sew. I have worked all my life and never had opportunity til now. So I'm taking it! You are such an inspiration, Ana! I love your manner of teaching and do hope you continue!
YES! I can relate to that so much. Losing my best friend to illness and diagnosis with a brain tumor has really snapped me out of that and helped me move closer to living in the now.
@@BettyHorn Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine. I just had to put my 14 year old cat down and I feel I am having to relearn how to live every day life. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that. I cannot imagine with your children. ❤️
@@VeVeJT23 my younger son died in 1991and my older son in 1995. Both by drunk drivers. Nothing matters beyond that. And once I learned that, I quit caring. Thanks for your sympathy. I appreciate it. Like you with your friend, we learn how to live without them. But I know we will be reunited when I pass, so knowing this is temporary really helps. I'm sorry for your losses as well. No loss is easy.
I have to say it again and will never get tired of repeating this - you are an amazing, inspiring woman 💙 Thank you so much for your kind presence. Lots of love!
I've had delayed life syndrome since I was in kindergarten. I'm suffering from toxic shame and social anxiety. I didn't act, live, dress etc the way I wanted because I thought I was not pretty or good enough and others would judge me. So I wasted my childhood waiting to have a "glow up" so I could finally live. Now I'm in my early 20s and I'm slowly starting to heal
I’ve read variations of this mantra, which I try to remember, though not always successfully: “There is no right time. There is only time and what we choose to do with it.” Thank you again for another thoughtful video. Loved the basketball playing 😊
I also suffer from delayed life syndrome, and would squirrel away my most precious items for use later, only to never use them. As a child many of these items were stickers, sketchbooks, and cute scraps of paper. I'm beginning to let go now with the help of my toddler son, am using many of the leftover items to create new crafts together.
The delayed life syndrome happened to me too, it’s quite a funny story. I had a pair of shoes I loved and therefore rarely wore in order to not wear them out. When a class reunion was up, I put the nice shoes on and went there by car. When getting out of the car, I noticed that there was rubber on the road, loose pieces. I thought, „oh dear, a tire is falling apart!“ I checked the tires but they were all fine. Yet, a line of rubber pieces lined my way around the car. I looked at my shoes. The soles of my very nice shoes were falling off. They had gotten too old because I had put them away for so long. That certainly taught me a lesson. 😅
That's a very difficult topic for me. I feel like I have lost a huge amount of my life especially in the last 15-20 years. First, by following a partner moving abroad where I just couldn't find my own place, and then, taking care of my beautiful child who was diagnosed early with a severe long life disability. On the top of it, the pandemic made me realise my own mortality and how fragile life actually is. The idea of living a life in your older age turned out to be just an illusion. You could live but you could also easily perish any day. I'm striving now to live in the now, because for me that's the only way living. I'm not doing a good job, because I suffer from severe anxiety and anything could make me panic in a matter of seconds, but I wish that could change. So I stop feeling that sorrow of a life lost. Mindfulness seems to help but it's not always enough. Thinking and wishing is easy, doing is hard. I still have hope and always welcome any advice I could get. Thank you, Ana, for all your thoughts and for always bringing topics of such an importance and value. Sending you my best wishes 💜💐
Hi Anita, I fall in love with you every time I watch your videos. You’re my friend and I love the pirate you transmit and the inspirations you wake in my mind. Thank you
Friday was a very beautiful sunny day and I enjoyed it with my friend on Ada Ciganlija, with stroll and couple of beers. And that means to living in a moment!
Hello dear Ana. How are you? This was a very interesting topic. I feel that duties, rules and the fear of failure or the unknown keeps some people in a delayed life. And how many people lead a life that is not theirs? Probably a lot. Thank you and best wishes 🙏
Another enlightening video. You here were times, mainly as an adult I enjoyed having a ball and just bouncing it on the cement, or against the house. I recently after too many years to count purchased a ball and find myself bouncing it, and "just being", the dance of the ball, visiting " me" again. I am much older than you, yet, it seems we are on similar paths.
Querida Ana estoy de acuerdo contigo. Tengo presente la finitud de mi vida, pero aún así postergo lo que realmente deseo hacer y no sé si alguna vez me atreveré. Seguramente Brian ya te lo ha dicho, pero si no, aquí va: para hacer un doble ayuda apuntar, no al cesto, sino al rectángulo dibujado detrás de él. 😉 Fue muy lindo verte jugar basketball. Felicitaciones por tu doble! Abrazo!🤍
awww it was so nice to see you playing basketball at the end and hearing your husband encouraging you. I can't imaging all the traumatic events you went through, I loved seeing some happy moments of yours. :)
Thank you Ana for this video. This was very inspirational and exactly what I needed to hear. I'm also a creative and have a fear of putting my content out there. I suffer from both perfectionism and delayed life syndrome.
Dear Ana, Opet nešto jako zanimljivo a svima nama poznato. I sama živim taj moment ali se trudim da ga ipak prebacim u sadašnje vreme. Dobro ti ide košarka.❤ Veliki pozfrav tebi i Brajanu.😊
"Take your time love" (best quote and sign of true love)! Ana, of the three platforms for us to support you, does Paypal take the smallest cut at 3%? (I'm guessing Buy Me a Coffee and Patreon both take 5% plus conversion fee?) Is one of the three platforms better for you in terms of portability, given your potential need for mobility amongst various countries? Also, in the U.S., politicians consider every letter received to represent about 2,500 constituents. In other words, letters can be a manner of persuasion. For example, after months of correspondence with the IRS and no resolution, I carbon copied my State Senator on my letter to the IRS and my problem magically resolved. The funny part is I hadn't even actually sent a letter to my senator. What I'm wondering is would a letter writing campaign by your U.S. viewers be of assistance to you and Brian? If so, please let us know. Thank you for the lovely content, as always.
Thank you for your kind suggestion, Michaela. I'm afraid, it won't work like this... At the moment we're trying to gain financial stability and get enough income to resume our US visa application process. Unfortunately, money lies at the core of most problems in this world... As for the platforms, they work equally good for us, and yep, they all charge commissions. Sending love 💜
This video really touched me I’m 75 and spent much of my life in this state, due to a difficult marriage that I was fearful of getting out of. when my husband passed away 11 years ago I was able to start finding myself again get back in to creating art and making things and being able to relax, try new things and enjoy being with my friends
The never ending tomorrow is my life...I hold back doing so many things because of their carbon footprint and harm/damage to our planet and all the lifeforms that depend on it. I don't buy hothouse flowers flown in from abroad, I arrange a tree branch from the park instead. I only had one child at age 40. I dont eat animal products. I dont fly to destination weddings or buy lots of fast fashion/consumer goods. over 30 years ago college friends were taking a trip to Australia to scuba the Great Barrier Reef as they understood it was dying. And here we are in 2023 and it is still limping along, yet I will never go witness it as doing so hastens its demise. I think it is appropriate to have some restrictions on our hedonistic wishes and curb our experiences/consumption for the good of all. Humans keep reaching for higher goals, which may have been fine when only a few billion on earth, but we are soon to be 8 billion. Of course, this does not apply to the small pleasures like basketball in the park. Maybe if we savored and indulged these ordinary pleasures we would not feel the need to fly all over the planet to visit bucket list places. Happy to just see a photo and read about them really.
I am like you .I also don’t do the things you mentioned I enjoy the simple pleasures in life and I am content . But if there is something that you really really want to do you should do it. You have already done your part to save the planet
If only those who actually inflict harm climate-wise were as responsible as you are, so many other people could live their lives instead of delaying them because of cautions.
Ha! I love the final scene with you on the court! Could that be a metaphor for this video - don't wait to take the shot and don't worry about missing the basket. Life should be about exploring our interests and not about fear of failure. As they say - "some days you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you". All the big decisions you've made, Ana, to move to Moscow and have a big career, then to leave all of it and return to Siberia to create a totally new life, then to have to leave all of that and flee your country. My God, such courage all of that must have taken. In my life I've made herculean changes too, and now, in my 70s I can surely say I'm glad I did. Your's is a remarkable life.
Hi Ted! Haha, I've never heard of the bear quote, love it! Thank you for your kindest words as always, my friend. They are such wonderful support. And I'm so glad we resonate about the importance and meaningfulness of changes despite the fear of failure 😊
One needs time and antidotes to recover from Burn Out, Burn Out is serious. I'm glad you recognize Burn Out, knowing that is on your side, unknowing what's wrong, what's causing pain, suffering, anger serves us none, unknowing causes great harm and delay, great delay. I am glad to hear that you "know". I lost great time, had great suffering not knowing burn out existed, I didn't understand why I changed to negatively. Be wise🤗.
I am continually impressed by your mind, creativity, and heart, Ana. This is a superb treatment of the subject, not a superficial one. I was mesmerized and really touched by your insights. So helpful and kind ❤.
Our cultural infrastructure trains us to live this way, so that we continue to focus on making corporate goals, etc. Everything is for tomorrow, when it comes to the working class. My neighbor is 89. He just told me yesterday how retirement isn’t what he thought and he wishes he’d loved more of his life when he was younger. Tomorrow is never a given. Living today in a balanced way is so important.
This is SO true! We're promised the "retirement joyful rest" all the time, but then we have neither health not money to live a good life and fulfil our delayed dreams. It's utterly sad...
Dear Ana, thanks a million for your lovely and wise video. I felt very much connected to the topic. Had hear about it before but didn't think too much about it. It was so good that you talked about it in such a relaxed and casual way. Love you lots, you're really very fine guys💓. Take care and you both enjoy your lives as well. All the best from Germany🍀🦄🙋🏻♀️
The last year, I have saved up money to be able to have June, July and August completely off this year. I'm experiencing stress and pressure at university and I realized that I need rest. Now that I reached my savings goal for the summer, I suddenly feel that I don't deserve using the money. That it would be more responsible to save it for "something better". To use the summer months to at least earn SOME more money. This video was a great reminder to me that I DO deserve my time off, enjoying spending the money that I worked hard to put away. I think this summer will be a good practice on un-delaying my life.
I can very much relate to you, the same environment and upbringing, saving everything. My family were just afraid of not having enough food, clothing etc. we lived in fear , and that was normal.
When I was 16 I asked for a basketball for Christmas. They gave me a pearl necklace; it was more ladylike. I was so disappointed. I’m 73. I have done only a few of the things I dreamed of. And now my health limits me. It’s so important to remember that while you think you are hesitating or deliberating, life is still moving. It’s not on pause, like a video. But you are using it for something other than fulfilling your dreams. Maybe that ‘other’ is very important, like feeding your family or caring for a sick parent. Maybe your life won’t be what you dreamed. But maybe it will be more important and add more value than you imagined. I totally hope everyone achieves their dreams, but even more important to me, I hope everyone achieves whatever is important for you, whether or not it was your dream. I hope we all feel good about who we were in this world, and about what we contributed, even if it seems small to others. Loved the basketball clip. Play Ana and Brian! Play!
Memento Mori!My late father,a wise man indeed,used to say that cemetery should be in the central park of the city so we would walk through it every day going to work,school etc.and so to be reminded that life is short and everyone,a millionaire or a pauper will end there!
Being 22 y.o. and having absolutely no one to talk to I was sitting alone in the kitchen and contemplating nearly every life decision I've made so far. I saw that I was going nowhere, pushing away people that I cared about dearly just to keep up with a false facade. Then I found your video and sat through it all. I don't know, but something between the lines pulled some strings in me and I really felt what you said. It reflected on many things in my life and it made me feel like tearing up. Imagine a grown-up man with a beard trying not to cry, now I laugh as I type it. Your words made me feel like I'm not alone. Спасибо ❤