The NICE GUY narcissist 

These narcs can be the most dangerous and sneaky ones.

If they are such a “nice guy”, why do they feel the need to tell you that? That’s a huge red flag! Nice guys actually don’t have to tell you.

Yep. I got tricked and trapped by a “nice guy” narcissist, and just like Lee said, people have a hard time believing the truth about him. He’s very popular on social media. I resisted his advances for about four months before I finally gave in, and I definitely regret that decision. Something felt off about him from the very first time he slid in my DMs, but I let him convince me it was my past trauma talking. Now I have even more trauma. A beautiful, charismatic MONSTER is what he is.

The nice guy is a great actor. Behind that kindness there is a selfish human-being who only thinks about himself ... The kindness is to lure people in their dirty game of using.

If the nice guy is pushing for a quick engagement and marriage, that is a double red flag! He wants to hurry and marry you, because he can’t keep up the act for much longer!!!! Happened to me…. Abuse started on the honeymoon! Also, don’t get heavily involved until you see what they do when something makes them angry.

Lee, you are so right, the nice narc cannot take criticism or a boundary.

These be the covert narcissist. The most dangerous ones.

They are nice to everyone else (aliens, neighbors, new people, co-workers, serial killers, Derrick Jaxon🤣) EXCEPT you and the family at home.💯

When I hear "nice guy," I immediately think Chucky! 🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

This was my situation everyone including myself thought my ex was a nice guy..he was cold and cruel behind closed doors and people couldn’t believe when they heard he was an covert narcissist that would rage and throw things at me every 3 months . I’ve been no contact for 2 months and no longer walking on eggshells

They will mirror you to learn you , find your vulnerabilities , gain information about you, then use those things against you .

Definitely a covert narcissist. Thats what i dealt with. He wasn't physically abusive but verbally abusive. More on the passive verbal abuse. Done so swiftly that it didn't seem as such until i really comprehended what that man was saying to me. So many ppl say aww he seems so nice so cool blah blah blah. My resonse is "get to know him behind closed doors"

I"m just chill...cool, calm and laid back....you're in good hands." BS alert!!!

Same with "you can trust me".... If you hear that run as fast as you can.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors 💔

FACTS!!! You said it Lee in one sentence the nice guy is a MASK summed up and in today’s society you HAVE to protect yourself by being suspicious of overly friendly people….. Another way I think about it is that if they’re too good to be true it probably is! Lastly I TEST people by NOT giving them what they want just to see their reactions. 💯💯👹📢

This is factual. My ex husband relies on his nice guy persona to be able to do anything to the women he fools, including me. He plays the part to the fullest to be sure you will not believe anything you hear or even see that is negative about him. After he makes you believe this nice guy is who he is, then he reveals the lack of empathy, selfishness, lies, and lack of compassion for the person he is with.

And most nice guys just use that as bait. Then when they get you they switch up!! They can't play "nice" for too long.

Totally agree . Mine was charming, intelligent , opened doors for me , kind , gentle , unselfish in bed , family man , but it was all pretence ; he manipulated me after three months for a large bank loan that he needed for a car / I thought no one else could help him ; he was an aggressive , bad tempered , man who went into rages if he didn’t get what he want - including the silent treatment . I’m now in the process of months of counselling .

True story, "I'm not a narcissist, I'm a nice guy!"

Yesss this the one I dealt with it then it's worse when nobody believe youu 😩

The “nice guy” act is exactly how he got me into his spiderweb!🤦🏽‍♀️ very covert, sneaky and definitely NOT NICE!😱

We all know narcissists niceness never last more than a minute

So TRUE, the mask comes off down the road & I wondered If he was bipolar or what I did wrong... one face to the public but behind closed doors- the anger and cruel mental games!

Stevie J said he was the ice guy 😂

I went no contact, and the guy violated order over 60 times showing up anyway. But wrote he wouldn't stalk me!🤣

“Im a nice guy”-run. Nice people don’t need to announce. “I’m an asshole”-run. It’s the only truth they will tell lol

Day 5 no contact with my "nice guy"

I had never dealt with a narcissist until recently. Maybe I had talked to guys with some narcissistic traits but not a full blown narcissist. He laid it on thick in the beginning and made me believe he actually wanted me and cared about me. Also had me believing he was this sweet, caring guy. Then one day I caught an attitude with him and the tides turned so quick. One day telling me we were exclusive then literally two days later switched it up. Suddenly it was "you should move on", "I can't give you the amount of talking you want", "I'm not capable of a relationship", but still continued to play me like he cared by texting me. Eventually I told him to lose my number and that I felt like he was playing me. He tried to flip the script on me saying I was wrong. His responses were just very cold and not caring at all. I decided I was done for my own mental health and knowing I deserved better. I may have taken the bait in the beginning but I'm no door mat.

You helped me understand so much while I was experiencing the toughest time in my life. ❤Thank you

Thank you for this video! I wish I had seen this before I entered a situationship with one of the worse men I have ever met! He was a “nice guy" that’s how he described himself. Whenever I tried to tell people how horrible he was they would dismiss me immediately and say he is such a nice guy or he’s always been nice to me. 🤬 I have been no contact for over 2 years and I have been able to stay that way and focus on myself due to videos like yours. 🙏

Lee you trip me out everything is true. But you make it so funny 😂

I need 3 “nice guy”references- verifiable like a job with benefits and competitive salary

The 'nice guy' narc that I was bamboozled by 30+ yrs ago, was all of this and more. His sweetheart act was a fake persona he created as a child, in order to lure his victims in. He'd pretend to be quiet, shy, and if you were a conquest, 'concerned' about whatever problems you may be having (he could really care less). He would often tell me these people's issues after they had confided in him, and then proceed to mock/criticze them behind their backs. Would even do this with his own family members. I'm positive he did this with our personal info, as well. To this day, he follows the exact script. He's a predator. When I think back, ALL of the women he cheated on me with were usually co-workers/friends who were either having problems in their marriage or some other area in their lives, and he was always there to 'counsel' them (play the nice guy, tell them they deserved better, etc). He knew exactly what he was doing and that they would most likely fall for him in their vulnerable state. Actually told me in college (before we started dating), that this was his M.O. in high school to get girls. In addition to being very good looking, 'extremely shy,' etc., he would put extra effort into being elusive/ mysterious so ppl would literally trip over themselves to try to get to know him. I'm sure there are people out there who genuinely care about others and want to help (empaths), but narcs are NOT those people by any means. They always want something and will often target folks when they're at their lowest. Be aware and be safe.

❤ You are so one point with this one. They punish you for all of the pain they feel once you are locked in.

I knew a couple of guys like that, and both of them were super abusive to their women who didn't feel like they could get away from them.

Yea my ex said he stays friends with his exes because “They think I’m a nice guy” so many red flags and yet I overstayed my welcome. Never again! Feeling pretty good these days! I believe it’s only a matter of time before he tries to kill my vibe. Not this time though! It’s not even about love or wanting to be with me. I think he just wants to see if he can break my barriers down to make him feel powerful. Just a sad existence and I wish I never had a child with him. I love my son, but man oh man!!! If I could turn back the hands of time. 🤮

It's even those people who identify themselves on profiles, or upon meeting them, as a "Nice or "Kind" person

I love it!! The nice guy just tell them no it will make them come out!

It is 100% true, he was nice and behind my back he was cheating with his student. Now I left the nice guy with his student and already saw him verbally aggressive towards her. I am lucky that she wanted to take away him, because later I would have surprises.

If they're a nice guy they won't feel the need to point it out by saying it, they'll just be a good person

"I'm a good person! EVERYBODY says that! I'm transparent & honest. And you know nothing about me!" he shouted on top of his lungs.

“ nice” and kind are very different intentions in action and come from the heart of Spirit 💜

My dear.. thank u for the videos.. I was mentaly, physicaly, financialy, spiritualy manipulated by a " nice guy". You are helping me to overcome that trauma.. thank u soo much🙏

Omg, this is SO true!!

Thank you for your info...wish I had started listening to you 3 years ago. Lol I just recently gave boundaries to the narrasist stocking and pursuing me for a couple of years he begged to go on a date and omg.... he agreed to the boundaries then broke them. And through the biggest tantrum. I'm glad yo hear this now.

This is so true for me! I told one of our friends that he said he wanted to hit me and his response was "I think he just said it as a joke. I'm sure you just misunderstood."

"Make people prove that they are nice!" I thought I had! I did not recognize just how covert my estranged husband is until our 21st anniversary! And how much my parents were in cahoots with him in the same year. His long suffering way about the "nice guy" persona was in the home yet everything was blamed on me.

A kind guy is what you really want, not a nice guy. Nice is driven by people pleasing or manipulation and other such toxic stuff. Kind is about true character and giving a damn about others while maintaining healthy boundaries.

"If you don't dm them in an appropriate time, they get mad at you" that's so on point 😂 #1 thing my online narcissist friend complained about was how he spent all this time crafting things for these Xbox girls but they never have "enough time to spend with me" so he blocks them 🤨 I've seen him block out mutual friend just because she didn't respond in 2 days. It's ridiculous how he expects undying loyalty in anyone's time yet he's allowed to ignore you when he wants and how ever long he wants. If he and I were not playing the block game, it was silent treatment...

“I was devoted to my marriage vows”. Another one.

There was a guy who went to our church. Such a gentleman. He went to prison for four years for sexual misconduct against a minor.

When older, it’s pretty funny. The “Dad people” can be the worst.

Rich people don’t go out of their way and tell you they’re rich. A woman or a man doesn’t go out of their way to tell you they’re a woman or man. It goes without saying……

I thought my child’s father was nice 😂

I had a dude tell me he was a "good man" & proceeded after to display just about every behavior of a narcissist. Thank God I only wasted 5 or 6 months on him & not years He was also one of those type of people that don't want to commit but he didn't anyone else to have me. This was about 5 years ago when I had just started learning about narcissists & researching them

Thank you Lee, you have been a blessing in my life❤ Don't let it go to your head baby boy 😂

❤ I love this channel!!!! ❤

Yep can dish it out but can't take it 😅😅😅hate a hypocrite

8:20 Exactly what he said, and I felt so sorry for him in that moment, saying at least those girls on his hookup sites wanted him. So pathetic. Yeah, NC. 🤝💫 Thank you, Lee. Great #s on your Book🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Learned soooo much from you Lee... Thank YOU....❤

Why does the Nice person, doing everything for you, then resent you not being just as nice?

Omg! You just described the last person I dated!!If people have to say, “I’m nice”, “I’m a good person”, or “I’m a great catch” When I told him “no”, he turned into a monster, but only behind closed doors because he didn’t want his friends to see his ugly side….outer appearances meant EVERYTHING to him! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

This is similar to another saying that acts as a red flag for me. When I was a teenager, I used to think the expression was somehow noble, similar to nice guy signaling. "I would never hit a woman." I have learned (the hard way) that when a person says this, they are revealing that they do not value women as much as men. Women might as well be a different species to the man that boasts he "would never hit a woman." They do not believe that women are equal humans with valid opinions and needs, that her wishes are just as important as his. The phrase seems like a weird way to show off their power at first. It's like saying, "I wouldn't drown a bag full of kittens," with a bag full of kittens on your lap. After you say that, I'm going to be concerned for those kittens in a way that I wasn't previously. The men that claim they would never hit, eventually they will intimidate, manipulate, and harrass, and when called out, they pretend as if they cannot believe anyone could "logically" be afraid of "lil' old them" as a result of their own, intentionally terrifying or invalidating, behaviors. After the commitment is made, having to pretend as if her thoughts and opinions are real and valid is "a pain in the ass." These are the men that do not understand consent is made on a moment to moment basis; as if their simple presence (without participation) entitles them to certain perks. As if they can be as rude and demeaning as they please and expect continuous benefit of the doubt, but oh, they'd *never* hit her. The nice guy trap is a set up for reactive abuse, especially when they have the public image going. Linked with altruistic narcissism. ⚠️ Trigger warning for content below; domestic violence references ⚠️ When she tries to leave and he physically stops her, because he feels like her opinion is not as important as his and that he can overrule her, he doesn't realize that for this other whom he pretended to care about, it has just become a hostage situation. The next day there are bruises all over her arms, legs, and abdomen, but he didn't hit her, he didn't pull his hand back to strike her. Technically. Because *technically,* he would never strike a woman. When someone uses this sort of phrase, now I know to disengage. I mentally mark them as a potential abuse enabler/abuser and try my best to avoid any and all contact moving forward. Many men don't know what they've inherited isn't real, and i know i can't change someone's mindset about what they think I am or want to be. We are human. No gender can be overarchingly evil. People need each other, now more than ever. The people i have encountered who were suspicious of all women, also had a toxic competitive attitude towards men, too. These sorts aren't good for humanity as a whole. We need to protect each other. ❤🙏

Lee is crazy!😅😅"They cute...they got dreads...they are wearing a shirt that says, "I'm focused."🤣😂😅

I hear this big time 😂 I only ever say "I'm a nice person, not s stupid one" I was treated like a doormat

Also… a very well known tactic for ill intentions. If one must speak loudly about their own character on a pedestal while diminishing yours is in fact a raised red flag 🚩… loving that jingle ringtone in the background btw

It’s a big difference between a person that who nice and a person who is good. Nice people are not good and good people aren’t always nice. Big difference. I rather have someone that is good.

My ex use to say “I am a nice guy” he was not nice!!! He was a good actor!

I mean I tell people I’m nice. And I am. My issue is people with the wrong intentions can see this… …only as I’ve gotten older I can see when I’m being taken advantage of. It’s hard setting boundaries when I strongly dislike conflict. I’m not wired that way.

I know someone who is just so sweet. She is so friendly and giving and always involved in noble activities. Except she is the biggest actress on the face of the planet!

Its been 15 years since i divorced my narcissist ex and he hoovered me today be wishing me happy belated Thanksgiving. He is a so called nice guy that everyone likes but i never fall for his crap.Additionally, ive never bothered to tell him about himself because his head is so far up his superior AZZ that he thinks he does no wrong. To this day he claims that he still doesn't know why i divorced him.

Have a wonderful day! 😊 and yes a person with a personality disorder can be very nice. I was married to a covert narcissist and we have two daughters together 9 years apart and they are adults now and I went through the premeditated mental mind control manipulation smear campaign against me and a divorce process that took 6 years to be finalized and I'm still dealing with narcissistic abusive individuals who are involved in narcissism using mental mind control manipulation mind games and tactics its going on 13 years and these narcissistic abusive individuals are mentally communicating along with surveillance networking together causing health care issues or concerns in people's lives I'm mentally fine and educated on narcissism and human behavior and development and knowledge of knowing the difference between empaths and narcissists and their 12 different types of narcissistic personality disorder traits God-bless.

I had ONE date with a guy.. who made me cry,mad AND insecure in 3 hours. He body shamed me, corrected me on tomany levels I didn't needed,.shamed my daughter he never even saw and knew. And STILL had the nerve to say "I dont know what I did or said wrong, I'm a nice guy and didn't kew you would react this way*. Still havend recovered from it to be honest.

This is so true about the so called nice guy . I desire with this

It’s crazy a friend of mine was asking me about a guy I was talking to and I just realized this is so him. He came off so sweet and kind and noble at first… and he turned on me so fast. Trying to rush me to say ‘I love you’. When I said he was moving too fast, I could tell a switch flipped.

I knew what you were saying right away when you said nice guy narcissist.

There's a REASON they are single!🔥🔥🔥🔥Believe THAT! Whew!

I'm highly empathetic, and I do consider myself nice. I have no ulterior motives. I just want a happy life surrounded by good people. Of course I can be mean, everyone can be. But that doesn't take away from the fact that I am kind.

Don’t forget that mockery too… stay woke yall

They absolve themselves of any responsibility or accountability and blame it on the universe.

I think I understand some narcissists a bit better. Some narcissists had a bad childhood. Some not all. Maybe some were praised a bit too much in their childhood. OK. Some are very rotten inside, but they may want a man or a woman. So they may hide how they truly are and behave in a way they know will attract a man or a woman. In a sense, it is a form of deception. For example, Jimmy knows he is very ugly inside. He knows by experience or mentally that people tend to not like him too much. So he may behave in a particular way to get attention or other things. The thing about it, it is quite difficult to act fake for a long time. Either that or Jimmy stops caring. Some people probably thought Jimmy was a good guy. They probably didn't know that Jimmy was just acting fake. Behaving in a way or ways to get what he wants. Very disappointing.

I read a quote to run if someone is too too anything. I’m too too nice, I work too too hard, I care too too much. They are hiding something… OR lives a very unbalanced life

yup. that's what dude told me. and that he used to be a bad man. ONE DAY ONE!!!!! RED FLAG slapped me in the face and i didn't even know it!

My abuser was a talented athlete and musician. In front of the world 🌎 people admired how super attentive he was to me. Even telling me how" Lucky "I was to have someone who loved and cared for me so much. I at one time thought maybe I'm the problem and don't appreciate him enough. Heartbreaking to suffer this way 💔 so many were confused when I filed for divorce and left such a "good" man.

The nice guy is a mask. Truth! He knew I was a mobility aid user when we met. Made the comment he could see himself being a 'wheelchair husband' one day. 'I've always been someone that takes care of other people. It's one of my favorite things to do for someone I love'. Shocker here..he LIED. He was too lazy to put in the little extra work it takes.

I have definitely seen this in men and women. The ones I have had the most interaction with were female colleagues and I could definitely see, over time, that they were NOT nice, and their acts of kindness or generosity were just that-acts. Tactical moves. Manipulation and perception management. Thing is, it did take time to see this. Like, months.

Valid; at the same time, who does that leave?!! Kind of an advertisement for sticking to home renovations rather than dating. 🙃

Yes your absolutely right narcissists president to be nice. God-bless.

Hot🔥Topic with💯%Real Talk & Facts!!

Mine would do nice things when we were fighting. Like fixing my car or my sons. But, he would use "nice" acts against me. See, i even fixed your car when you were being mean. Always, he has to bring up how he was doing something for me or being nice to me when i was upset and distant.

I no longer listen to words, but ONLY actions, because of my narc ex. He would say “I’m a nice guy” it’s like ummmmm please. That’s a front. He also said he was a feminist and he’s actually totally a misogynist. I now prefer the people that can admit they can be a piece of sh%t sometimes 😂 This title is was some straight up triggering clickbait for me and I’m sure anyone who’s been through it with one when the mask falls off, it’s actually so validating. Great work.

"If you think that I am a Narcissist then you don't know the real me as I am such a caring person"

Well heck - now it makes sense. My ex is a 'nice guy' narcissist. When people really get to know him they avoid him so that's interesting too.

Yep! Mine looked like Harry Potter on the outside. Satan’s Ride or Die on the inside just steady producing evil.

Some are good to people!

Yep true.

I am too. Too. 🤣

Yes my BPD EX husband was also diagnosed with NPD both! But in the end there are nicer and less nice poeple with bpd it depends on the person

My toxic ex favorite catch phrase is I’m a “nice guy”. It used to make me cringe😖😖!