Back in the day people used to actually study speach and such to be ahead of their enemys and peers. Read 48 laws of power it has tons of storys about how knowing when to speak, what to speak, and how to speak lead to kingdoms rising and falling.
Learning to be teased and to tease without descending into bullying is one of the most subtly vital human interplays. It is what allows us to show both vulnerability and strength while preventing us from clubbing each other to death.
@@ItachiUchiha-qm3nk well I don’t live a life where enemies are easily made, but for one benign example if you’re in a competitive industry, you will make enemies by doing a good job and sticking up for yourself and others.
Don't react to a judge and see if you get a lighter sentence. Don't react to a cop and see if you get arrested or not. Don't react to the car heading your way at 90 Mph and see if you survive. Every coin has at least two sides.
@@crazyfakar1 it was for the average civilian; they are not judge parliament or police. People who are not the police/judge are still policing/ judging. no need to pay attention to them. Like babies, shouting & howling.. seeking to be pacified by attracting attention by creating drama. They know everything, love to be in their bubbles. Time will teach them a good lessen. I won't feed them my energy.
He did way better afterwards in that same video/situation. (Way funnier insults. Probably would have been too much from the same person for the format here though.)
it is a good comeback, but the way to handle that is to say, "And you would like that, but fortunately my purpose in life isn't to make you happy." For that matter, any time a person wishes you ill, you can mock their malicious wish and remind them you were not born to please them.
I work customer service and would never use any of these. Best way to make people feel bad is to be nice and end up saving them money somehow. Gets an apology everytime.
Here's a tip Dr. Spicy: when you get a customer who refuses to get off their phone, to even acknowledge you as an equal human being, remain calm but LOUD. Really loud. So loud that they have difficulty hearing what is on their phone over you. Stay in clerk character but a passive aggressive nuisance to their personal call. They may not care, they may hate it, but they can never prove you did it on purpose, even if you both know it was a shot across the bow. They just have to take it. Payback.
If you reach a level of conflict where you want to piss them off then force them into making a scene by being polite but also forcing them into a hole of dramatic chaos.
The only issue is they give examples of celebrities. They're beautiful. We are not. Our scenarios and world settings are different from celebrities. Sure we can learn from celebrities, BUT REALITY IS DIFFERENT AND HARSH. Planning and plotting like _"today I'll behave this way and answer that way if someone says this"_ Does not work in Real life. We don't have bouncers and security and people behind us if anything goes bad. An average 9-5 working class struggling person doesn't have these.
walking away is a great tool. sometimes you try all these tactics and the rude person (usually jealous / insecure of you) will still try and attack you. Leaving is simply the best option sometimes. You don't ever want to spend time with truly toxic people anyways
yeah it keeps you in a space where you retain power and you aren't bought in. If youre attached to someone or a situation you give it power to be your organizing principle. Sometimes not accepting a paradigm is the best way that paradigm falls dead as holding water.
I got insulted once by this guy who was fairly high up in the echelon of the company I worked with and just flatly looked at the guy who insulted me and said calmly; "You know, that might mean something to me if I only remembered your name."
My favorite method for a bully’s insult: Smile and pretend like you didn’t hear it, repeatedly. Just keep saying “what?” “I didn’t catch that” “could you speak up?”. They either give up quickly or become livid and walk away looking like a fool or double down and embarrass themselves further Or they hit you.
Theo has one of the quickest wits of all time. But “if you could ever meet yourself you’d hate it” and “I’m so used to you telling bad jokes I almost didn’t listen… that was hilarious” were both brutal and applicable to any situation.
I don't like giving a green light to insults. Laughing & making a joke just invites them to insult you again in the future and call it 'banter'. I much prefer the boundary method; make it clear that I won't tolerate certain behaviours now or in the future. I don't really care about how I come across doing that, because trying to be 'likeable' all of the time despite being insulted... well that's called people pleasing and it's not great.
The intent of that topic wasn’t to just laugh when someone insults you, but to train yourself to always see the insult in a positive and playful way so that you can just laugh at it and not be offended by it. Obviously this has a limit to just how insulting something can be, but if it’s a fairly tame thing that can be seen as playful than it makes a lot of sense.
It's much better for you if you frame it as a joke to you and all the people around, not only you show you're strong and not easily affected, but you make everyone else in the room have more fun. Also, you let the offender off the hook, but the underlying message is "I'll let this one slip, but I could make you pay for it if I wanted. I won't be intimidated by you."
I do this a lot. And the curious thing is that if you frame it as a joke even to yourself, you'll barely remember it happened. Just like a conventional joke, it makes you laugh but you'll end up forgetting it in a few hours.
@@lapidationsI don’t see the point in making it a joke. It’s not a joke. The person just insulted you. There’s no point in trying to brush it under the rug
@@GoldenMushroom64 not one shred of evidence exists that Life is serious. However, you have the ability to interpret anything and everything as if it is. Your choice. If you want to be hypersensitive and easy to manipulate, then continue to choose emotional immaturity and weakness rather than being a positive and constructive influence on others. You do you. I cannot make you recognize your imperfections and desire to improve them, only you can do that. I have my own issues to handle.
I am a very mousy person whose face gets hot and red with any confrontation but these options help me be able to have confidence and I now get to decide how to react taking the power away from those around me with ill intentions so thank you very much 😊
I also hate conflict, and am often embarrassed how obvious that is to those who dish it out. I've found it easier to be quick witted if I can predict who will create it. No matter how friendly they are, when you meet somebody who is loud, highly confident, and says aloud most of what they think, tell yourself "This person will insult me one day." It may not happen, but if you expect it, you'll remain calm and quick-witted when it does. Quiet people can also be rude, but I find them less intimidating, so I limit mental prep to the loud ones.
0:00 - Intro 0:15 - #1: Use an Aikido insult 0:42 - #2: Point out they're easy to dislike 1:24 - #3: Use a Trojan Horse compliment 1:52 - #4: Genuinely compliment the insult 2:20 - #5: Assume positive intent 3:13 - #6: Agree and exaggerate 4:24 - #7: Be non-reactive 4:33 - #8: Call out their behavior 5:41 - #9: Just walk away 6:06 - #10: Draw a boundary
I am a senior executive woman who works in a male-dominated profession. I have learned to be a good listener. a person of few words, and a master of relatively neutral one liners that inspire deeper thinking. Over the years I have been the "casual target" of condescending remarks and demeaning, dismissive discounts of my expert or astute comments about operational issues and current events. My reaction is to look very openly and directly at the commenter and pleasantly maintain eye contact for as long as it takes to create a shift in their demeanor. Once, a female colleague disturbed about my lack of reaction, was compelled to say, "Are you aware he just insulted you?!" I looked at her incredulously and said, " I AM!' And returned to silently observing him as a human being. He was so rocked by the focused attention that he muttered something that sounded like closure and wandered off to another group. He was never disrespectful again in future business meetings, to me or anyone else.
@@royfoy8951 when the demand for sexism outweights the supply, AI always saves the day. This one sounds ripped straight off reddit, I can even see the brainrot minecraft parkour in the background.
My father used to insult me multiple times a day, my sister, and my mother included and called it “playing.” He was bullying and when it hurt too much I cried because I was emotionally distraught as a kid to hear these things from the “powerful figure” of the family. He would say I was too sensitive and couldn’t “play.” Now, since we’ve all checked him for his inappropriate reactions, he tries using power plays that are harmful to other aspects of our lives. AKA threatening to cut us off the family for something or something financial benefiting our future. I walked away this year. I told my mother I will not be insulted after all the work I did internally growing up just to be experiencing his toxicity again because she decides to stay with him. She understands, but thinks I need to be patient with him because he had childhood trauma. 1-He’s not working on healing that. And 2-he is still passing it down to his family. This is why I have friends as my chosen family.
My personal tactic is to just completely ignore the insult and just continue with the rest of the theme. Then just ghost the person infringing everyone and only respond to other peoples talking points. Just edge them out of the conversation.
I’m 73..Recently decided to grow a beard (temporarily). An acquaintance feigned shock and tried to make it a joke in front of a friend. I paused and suggested he actually might benefit by covering up some of his face..
Insult's comeback with an insult is a great tool for stopping people from insulting you again. It's likely that the first time you get insulted for something new, you won't have a comeback... but if someone insulted you once, they'll do it again and in a similar way. So you can prepare for the next chance and attack their insecurity through an insulting joke. For example, there was this one japanese lady who twice tried to insult me based on skin color by saying, "hey! u are black even not from africa" (I'm from srilanka). The first time, I was taken aback but explained that ancestry, equatorial country, etc.. but of course she didn't get it. The next time she said, "hey... why u so black?". (I was preparing for this moment LoL) I simply said, "the same reason why your eyes are so small." Everybody burst our laughing. Should have seen the look on her face. She stopped insulting me.
I wouldn’t have stopped there being that her second insult was intentionally meant to upset you, I would’ve followed on from your excellent comeback of ‘same reason your eyes are so small’ with ‘ah, and that’s because your eyes represent the size of your brain heh!’...well handled by you 👏 👏 👏
Indeed, I agree that, with people who insult you, often the best approach is to return the same rudeness (great example, btw). I used to be easy to insult, because I hated conflict and couldn't fathom that some people would seek it out. One day, after I had thrown up in my middle school's hallway because my mother had insisted on sending me to school ill, an obese boy bullied me over it. I realized he was doing it because he figured I was too nice to point out the obvious, so I decided if he could hit low, so could I. I said, "I did it because I never want to wind up as fat as you." While it didn't quite have the clever zing that your comeback did, this boy did realize he had better leave me alone after that.
These videos are so great. Even if youre not shy or awkward in social situations, some of these tips could be used by anyone. The key is indeed to be self confident and a bit unbothered sometimes, some people just tease and insult you to get a reaction or to get you to say something inappropriate that could be taken out of context in the heat of the month
Im Conclusion: 1. Aikido Insult. Accept it and use it against them 2. Point out they are easy to dislike "e.g. if you could ever meet yourself you would hate it" 3. Trojan Horse Compliment These three are likely to make enemies 4. Compliment the insult 5. Assume positive intent 6. Agree and exaggerate 7. Be nom reactive 8. Call out their behavior (not the person) 9. Just walk Away 10. Draw a boundary and walk away if it gets crossed
Nice one! So far this is my favorite out of all the "How to Make a Rude Person Immediately Regret Insulting You" type series since it combines all the elements seen in each of them including hard and soft lines. One aspect I was hoping to see in any of these style type of videos, is to ask clarifying questions such as, "What do you mean?" in response to back handed compliments that would give the antagonist a chance to save face, but also let them know that you know they're up to something. Useful if you're in a professional setting such as work.
I personally feel that if I concentrate on being honest and friendly then what others do or say is their problem not mine, mind you it did take 40 years for me to get there !
Responses to rude remarks is, 1. “It’s so nice to be acknowledged by my peers.” 2. “I defer to your experience (or expertise).” 3. “Would you repeat that louder?” 4. “Are you having a bad day? Do you need to talk to someone?”
Best moments Insult comebacks 1:09 If you could ever meet yourself you would hate it 1:42 I am so used to bad jokes I almost did not listen to that Strategy 1:54 Compliment the insult A strategy I really like as you bring comedy into the conversation 3:19 Agree and exaggerate: get that b off the monitor Be non-reactive 4:16 Show that they are not important enough. Hence Don Draper does not react. Charisma have shown this idea in a previous mad men video. Specific 04:43 that is so rude. This is better than saying you are so rude. You call out a specific behaviour. Walk away 05:50 Jimmy Fallon comment on his guest. Just walk away.
I just ignore people when they insult me. I don't acknowledge it happened and it steals the satisfaction they thought they'd get from the insult while saving me the bother of processing it.
What I really miss a lot from these kinds of videos, is the fact that although all of these work well in professional or cordial settings. There are a lot of bullying-like situations when this doesn't work. I come from a small remote village in the country side, and when someone roasts you, a lot of the time they are not trying to play a joke, they are genuinely trying to hurt you. Heck sometimes they even say it plain and out loud that they want to hurt you. My problem with this videos is that the only advice when the other person is trying to genuinely be malicious is to walk away, but you do that in a small community that values strength and fighting and you are going to end up alone very fast. Very quickly you will run out of people that you have walked out on and can no longer see.
What might help is instead of reacting to what they say, asking them if they are not well in a worried tone and totally redirecting to them. That indicates that they must be (mentally) not well for behaving like that which is actually true and puts them of cause now they have to explain themselves :-)
I have a question. Someone insulted me and I didn't react but my friend defended me. That person insulted me again a few minutes later. This time I suddenly turned to her, raised my voice a bit and said in a really assertive tone "Ok calm down". How was my response?
Exactly Mario. Simply walk away. Everyone complains about being “bullied and insulted” when they don’t realize that the root of the problem is simply their ego. They could easily walk away from the situation but chose not to because their ego would be destroyed feeling as if they’ve “lost the war”. (That was a comparison, I don’t actually mean war)
The most basic thing about charisma is being confident but that one of those things thats easier said than done. If you want to be the kind of person thats great at talking to folks you gotta work hard not only on your rhetoric but also on the topics you speak on
Please can I add one: I was in the canteen at work, about 10 people around the table, one guy is insulting and ragging me like crazy. So while I am thinking about what to say, I am saying nothing. Another man asked why am I not saying something back. So I said: "I am waiting for him to say something worthwhile" ...... " The laughter was nice and loud.... The guy insulting me shut up and just laughed slightly. BUT he never did it again.
The best one I’ve ever heard of in an informal setting was “Is that the best you’ve got?” The person trying to insult the new acquaintance actually laughed out loud in surprise and everyone else was then able to relax.
@@vickibazter3446 No one can ‘bully’ you when you own your weakness. Wear it like a badge of honor. You are no longer a victim to anyone’s cruelty when you’ve anticipated the dig.
Most of these mainly apply in the very specific scenario that you’re on camera. Doing these on the street or at the bar would likely result in a physical altercation.
sometimes they are so toxic or insecure they don't care and will keep trying to push your buttons. that's why leaving is oftentimes the best strategy. just find new friends / better ppl
I've done something similar when people ask rude questions. "I heard you had a miscarriage, is that true?" Why do you want to know? "Do you hate me?" You think I hate you?
Remember, most people have insulted others knowingly or unknowingly by accident at one time or another in life, it's those who make this a way of life who have a toxic personality and should be interacted with at arms length with caution. Every person has value and is made in the image of God, those who use insults as a regular part of communication may also be sociopathic, narcissistic, anti-social personality, etc. And insults covered with humor are still insults. Those who use them regularly rather than rarely aren't true friends.
I find this childish and insignificant, I also find people who respond with verbal abuse very childish and have very low communication skills, the respect goes way down after that
The people who need this the most are the ones who have been bullied, are shy, autistic etc... but they are the ones who are the least likely to benefit from this video. You have to be very comfortable around people to use these methods
I feel like this is what happens naturally if you generally think positively of others but you are also confident enough in yourself that you have no problems cutting off people you don’t like from your life.
Cool video! Just one clip was poorly chosen. 5:09 The senator was not being rude, she just pointed out what was happening. And that (the mansplaining) happens A LOT in any ambient that is predominated by men. He just felt his pride hurt and got defensive. On the other hand, he could've just let her say whatever she was going to say instead of... *coff* ...mansplaining.
My favorite thing to do is overreact to small insults. For example someone will call me a dork and I'll say "excuse me, that is uncalled-for!" It usually gets a laugh.
As I've said in a previous CoC video, if some drops a brilliantly funny burn on me, even if their intent was malicious I'll laugh because it's still funny. That lesbo cut burn was pure comedy gold.
Call me crazy but I feel like most of these weren't really rude or insults, they were just banter that everyone was in on. The ones where the two people walked out of the interview, those were actually rude. "Jokingly" cutting off a person while they're speaking to call them fat on national television is disrespectful on multiple levels and the second guy succinctly explained what was wrong in his interview.
The Australian senator seemed in the right in that clip. I don't know the full context, but that reporter did come off patronizing/condescending. I'm sure a woman in a historically male-dominated field like politics, who has worked her way up to a senate position, can detect "mansplaining" when she sees it.
The clip might lack context but let me explain. Nobody with any sense of intellect saw it the way you did. She got flipped so hard she had no idea which way was up.
@@xwhite2020 lol I'm going to assume you are also a man who probably doesn't speak to women that often, probably also an Andrew Tatortot fan. If you just scrolled down a little in the comments, you would see several other people mentioning the same clip I did. I didn't see her "get flipped" whatsoever. That guy was exuding oldhead "sweetheart" energy, and she rightfully called him out on it. And his response after she called him a mansplainer only further proved her point
Yeah, same as the shapiro clip. Should she have threatened verbally and physically? No, but shapiro was purposefully rude and antagonistic before that clip.
Agree. This channel has a very obvious bias toward “confident masculine” behavior. When women are direct and call out misogyny, they are labeled difficult, or in the case of this video, the woman was accused of being insulting for standing up for herself in a male dominated profession. The man knew exactly what he was doing, and asked a bad faith question when he pretending not to know what “main-splaining” is.
I have been practicing these techniques for decades. They definitely work. Thanks making this video. It's powerful knowledge that all would be wise to utilize.
This is great for toxic intimidating people, i useally go for the non responsive aproach, if they cross the line i do walk away from the confrontation to save grace, i don't have a great temper tolerance but i do know how to control it 😎😎
So, how can I respond to a girl at work who likes to point out to everyone that I can't hear (I'm hearing impaired). She asked me in front of others yesterday in the office "can't you hear me?". It was upsetting.
Thanks for this, I watched the Australian Senate one with my mother and she was cheering the woman on, and I said it was sad because the men were clearly in the wrong and are in fact bullying her, so it sucked that she got sucked in by her anger at the situation and coming off worse for it.
@@bryanwoods3373 mansplaining in itself is rude. The word literally means men try to tell women about things women know much more about. Like dudes in parliament deciding over female bodies, mansplaining women how to menstruate or ovulate. It's LITERALLY the rudest thing ever.
@Xia-hu About as rude as using it as a cudgel to not have to listen to other opinions, including those of other women, because you've deemed yourself the arbiter of the issue by virtue of identity alone. Women mansplain all the time. It's just semantics to ascribe connotation to the same behavior.
Considering he was in front of a committee and desperately trying to distract from answering straight questions, Katie got done dirty in this compilation
Don’t allow the emotions or words of others humans to change your behavior. I disagree with people’s choices all the time. Did they ask for my opinion? Did I ask for their opinion? No. They don’t care what I think. So just mind your own business and life is so much more enjoyable lol
Needed this. I usually deal with social anxiety and I went to this social event and discussed about a career goal I would love to pursue. I said as a joke I would love to pursue wrestling and this girl called me skinny out of the blue. Didn’t know how to react but felt very hurt by it. I guess next time I should react very differently. Practice makes perfect and im sure if I get myself in a similar situation I will be able to handle it with dignity and self respect.
I am a therapist and have helped clients with assertiveness, confidence and verbal self defence for over 25 years. Always try to smile or chuckle in reponse to ridicule or a put down, however unexpected it is. Reply something like - 'Charming!' or 'Any more charming compliments?' If s/he repeats the insults try: 'What ARE you talking about?' For a bigger put down try - ' Oh please...shut up?' or 'Ah shut up!' or 'Rubbish! ' or 'What absolute rubbish!' or 'Hey stop that - behave yourself!' (as if talking to a child). If someone takes the Mickey I always smile and mock them back saying 'that's just pathetic' or 'that's childish' and if they or other laugh at you, keep smiling and say 'what ARE you talking about' or if the attack is worse say: 'little things please little minds' in a SING SONG way, and maybe repeat it if any more comments are made at your expense. As a last resort say - 'Have you always been a moron?' If it becomes a jokey name calling exchange make sure you have 4 or 5 ready memorised. (D^ck head/ar*e hole/moron/douchebag/sh^t face/b*tch/slimebag).Name calling in a jokey, high pitched, silly voice softens their rudeness if necessary. If you over do it apologise in a jokey way: 'Hey/oops, sorry that sounded bad'. If in a group setting you are targeted by the same person again, say 'Oh not you again douchebag' or 'ah shut up douchebag' (or whatever name you called them before). If they attempt to bully you repeatedly at a social occasion call them by the name whenever you adress them, e.g. say 'Goodbye douchebag' when parting. If necessary say 'sorry I did not mean to offend you'
I spent much of my life trying to figure out how to increase my confidence. When I finally discovered the answer, it turned out to be much easier than I had expected. People hate how this sounds when I write it out, but the actual secret is simply to lose respect for everyone else. Let that pedestal you have everyone on drop, so that you finally accept that your opinions are smarter than theirs (in some cases, by quite a lot!). Trust me - this is how confident people naturally think, and when you've lost respect for everyone else, they will treat you better, because you clearly think highly of your own intellect, so they will assume you are suddenly smarter than you were when you gave their opinions too much respect.
Sometimes I just say, "well that wasn't very nice." I don't really want to insult people back or one up them. I have enough self respect to not be bothered when others disrespect me. If it's a friendly roast or attempt at a roast, I'll play along though. May or may not hit em with a comeback.
I thought a couple previous videos from this channel were quite good, but there is something weirdly incoherent and morally wrong about this one, curious who funded it.
This is an excellent video!! I always had this problem (in high school, because I've learned since then to have better people around me :) ), but still you never know who you may need to confront in your life. I always had a problem in dealing with rude people. Thank you for the video!
I said,” what I would like to know, is how did you ever keep your real Personality under wraps when you were dating people in the past?” This was met with a longggg pause 😂
Perfect timing on this video! Yesterday I was insulted by a customer at work for no reason and I just pretended not to hear it but I wished I had said something to let them know they can't just get away with disrespecting people.
Partly true. However, the problem with these comebacks is that they don't take into account someone's baseline trait neuroticism. Some people are so hyper-stimulated by negative stimuli aka insults that they have no way of processing the negative stimuli/insult in a timely manner that would then allow for a relevant and timely response that would then work in their favor. Insults are too overwhelming for people with these trait settings to overcome naturally. This includes those with mood regulation disorders, ADHD, Autism, Asperger's, anxiety, bipolar disorder and depression. This represents about 21% of the population according to various studies.
This is very true. In some cases, role playing these scenarios with people you trust helps. It's essentially exposure therapy. Also discussing strategies and having some canned phrases like the one about meeting yourself. It's important to have at least one person in your life who will help you through these kinds of things, like a trusting partner, a close friend, or a therapist.
@@liptoncunningham6666 Role playing can help, unfortunately, the support system for something like this is most often short-lived except for very limited circumstances. This type of approach necessitates a lifetime commitment to the afflicted, and we often see support systems burn out from this level of commitment, unfortunately. Medication is often the best long term solution.