THE PILLARS OF PATRIARCHY 4: WOMEN'S COMPLIANCE 

Thank you for saying the quiet part out loud.

Thank you for such a fantastic breakdown of white feminism and how it's really just diet patriarchy.

Men/patriarchy uses words with no actions behind the words. It's like people believe in the words and not the outcome. It's called Word Salad. Word salad can contain words like... FREEDOM used during slavery; men use the word PROTECTION when he is the woman number one predator; PROVIDER when men are the first to abandon the family... word salad are words that have no action behind them, and the actions are opposite what is being said. Word salad, is also used in many areas of life... esp. in marketing and by politicians.

Literally did a happy dance when I saw this on my fyp! You were great on BurbnBougie's live, too!

The damned thing about heirarchies is that you can remove the "top layer" and slide in any substitute, and the heirarchy will continue to function as well as it did before. Deconstructing Everything means Deconstructing our yte privelege and class privileges as women. We won't be free until we stop extracting value and status from the women we're conditioned to consider "beneath" us. Thank you for this important message.

I am happily married to a wonderful man but I prioritize my needs over his, have a master's degree and have always had a career and can support myself when/if I ever need to. I witnessed my mom prioritize my dad at her own expense growing up and I vowed to myself I would not repeat that pattern. Also, you are spot on about white women and how they propped up the patriarchy and left women of color behind.

The more women focus on improving our own lives by dissolving the patriarchy, the more we empower all women. Our choices & decisions as individuals, influences more change than we may realise. Women need to be selfish for our own well being. No more self sacrificing. Ladies first. Very inspirational work. Thank you

💯 Striving to be the Queen of Shlt Mountain!!

These are the same thoughts that I've been having for a very long time. All we can do is survive under patriarchy.

I knew a man who was becoming a Christian priest however in the end he wasn't interested....he told me all the religions in the world...all support a Patriarchal society by the way money is circulated and made in the world..so it's basically impossible to deconstruct... because all countries that have different Patriarchal religions depend on continuing to grow the global economy

Hi Lisa, brilliant video once again. I would like to point out that the statistic you cited on homicide rates in pregnant women is not the same in each country. Eg in the UK, the leading cause of death in pregnant women is heart disease, whereas in the states it is indeed homicide. To me this highlights how patriarchy and misogyny exists in America to a much more extreme degree than it does in even other developed nations, and just how existing in a more patriarchal culture can further put women's lives in danger during the more vulnerable periods of our lives. And then, this itself highlights how full of cowardice men are at their core but I don't want to continue on a tangent.. Keep up the amazing work! And as a Latina, thank you for encouraging our voices be heard as women of color ❤

We were just discussing in our book club how, in literature about American chattel slavery written from the point of view of the enslaved, it’s challenging to find depictions of benevolent white women. To this day, and still, the second best thing you can be in America is a white woman. I’d bet money the 52% of white women voters who voted for TFG in 2016 knew it on some level. They helped accelerate this reversal of our rights out of fear of losing their place in this hierarchy. They’re totally cool with second place because it means they can still rule over everyone below them. A white woman who’s unafraid to expose ALL of the truth in order to gain true freedom for ALL women is a dangerous woman indeed. As a black woman, I welcome you to the battle. ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏻

Thought provoking series. Self-reflection is usually more difficult than pointing a finger at someone / something else. And I believe, we, as women, can do it successfully. There will come a day when a majority of us no longer buy into the patriarchy, the racism and the classism and we support each other. Goddess willing and the creek don't rise.

As I examine feminism/patriarchal themes through social media platforms such as yours, my algorithms are starting to present more and more anti-feminist influencers who come to the defense of men who have been de-centered, emphasizing their struggles and inability to adjust. Naturally, they blame women and only women for it. So basically, men can't handle the shift so in order for them to be OK, women must shrink. There are many male influencers in this space but also a shocking number of female ones. I like how you say that men just need to figure it out. We've coddled them, made things easy for them, provided nice homes and families for them. They will need to figure this out on their own.

I WISH i could remember which creator said this in her video about Barbie and the Oscars, I think it was either Leeja Millar or Khadija Mbowe, but she said that feminism wants to support ALL womens' rights; White Feminism is when white women have the same opportunities as white men. Intersectional feminism is when women come together to fight for universal access to opportunity for ALL women by fighting for affordable daycare, for example. White feminism is when Stephanie gets to be the CEO Feminists getting outraged that Margot Robbie didn't get a Best Actress nomination (even though she did have a nomination for as director for Best Film) while overlooking America Ferrerra's historic nomination for Best Supporting as a WOC is PEAK white feminism

I clicked so fast! I am really enjoying it. 😊

Thank you so much! I love your content...I followed you from Tiktok... I'd love to see more on Project 2025 and preparing in case of the worst... I'm sure a lot of us are worried and the way you break things down would be a comfort tbh ...

I love brilliant women!!!

Great series

The next point is also well taken about womyn, getting rewards for siding with POWER, the men, in patriarchy. Shifting out of patriarchy is a process. We needed some womyn to side with the POWER, the men, to advance, to get to be lawyers, judges, police officers, LEADERS, to then make the next shift out of patriarchy. Many had to suck up the sexual abuse and threats they endured to keep going. When they got in these positions they were able to support WOMYN, and CHANGE LAWS, and CHALLENGE more deeply cases that never had a chance before, or even as DEANS in Post Secondary Education, to allow womyn to RISE and be included. Again, this is not so cut and dried, but because we do not study HERSTORY, we fail to understand the complexity of shifting OUT of this old system. It takes steps, we cannot JUMP OUT of it. These things are important to be discussed and understood, from many sides, so , as you explain, to deconstruct these parts so we can take NEW STEPS on a NEW PATH that is NOT paved in patriarchy. Thanks for pointing these things out to be brought to the surface and looked at. It takes a LOT Of courage and research to put all these puzzle pieces together, in a system that has made it VERY hard to actually look at it and dive into the damage it causes.

I love these series! You are articulating many points that I've been thinking myself. Although I would really love it if I was able to see some more actionable points to overthrow the patriarychy...

Let’s not forget the intersectionality of age groups as well. You mention that there shouldn’t be any spots, however later on continue to say that Taylor is taking away spots from younger women. She doesn’t. The system does. The way patriarchy pits younger women against older women and vica versa and women internalizing and upholding it is quite tragic as well. Thank you for your wonderful and outspoken videos, this is such an important conversation!

Sharing this with every woman i know ❤❤❤

Honest Question: why would WW not want ALL women to win ? Do they want to keep extracting labor from those who are in marginalized groups while staying in control of the system?

I’m so glad you’re on RU-vid now

I wish I could love not just like this. So well done!

We can't beat them at their own game. Their game has winners and losers. I can't enjoy winning at others' expense. We need a new framework. For everything.

I love this series of yours! When it appears on my feed, I click instantly :D thanks for your awesome work! Cheers from Poland ;) (we have a pretty hard core flavour of patriarchy here because of all that roman catholic brainwashing 😅)

The set is complete

As a white woman, non binary person, who has birthed three white daughters, I've had to face the fact I had children prior to being fully healed from a traumatic childhood, before becoming more politically aware and before fully knowing myself at the age of 21. At the age of 35, from what I understand now, through therapy and introspection and talking to wiser people and women in many walks of life (I still don't know shit about shit) I believe the best thing we can do is this: consider very carefully if we want kids after a lot of consideration and only if we can have them as a single person and only after decentering men and patriarchy from our lives. Including only the people in our lives who only add to our lives. Care for those who care for us, I mean in a way that isn't based on some sick sacrificial way that we didn't choose. If we choose not to have kids, and if medically logical and feasible and financially available, sterilize ourselves so we cannot be used for the state or against our will. I think it's on us, as white women and femmes, to own our shit. When we do a racism, or a sexism, or a classism, own it. "What I said was racist. You deserve better. " and leave it at that. Don't ask for forgiveness. Don't drag it out. Own your shit. The best thing we can do is heal our own, raise our kids to be better and more aware white kids. White shame and guilt will solve nothing. White anger and action and respect for our sisters in the struggle will do a hell of a lot more. Listen to them. Read their books and listen. Put your white body on the front lines in protest, without stealing the spot light with words. Take baton hits. Let the world see you show up.

Awesome series!

Greetings from Scandinavia! I really enjoyed your deep knowledge and passion for the subject matter. Here in Sweden, we have gender-neutral parental leave, with 3 months reserved for each parent, and I think this was the single biggest contributing factor in forever re-defining masculinity in the country. Today, men take out 1/3 of all parental leave days, while women have the highest employment rate in the European Union.

Thank you for another great video! I would love to hear your thoughts on narcissism and navigating relationships with people that either have narcissistic tendencies or who are diagnosed narcissists. I’m not on TikTok, so if you cover this topic there, maybe this isn’t an original thought 😂 but I’m sure you’d have a great amount of wisdom to share regarding this topic. Thank you again!

Thanks for doing this next section on patriarchy and how womyn's compliance is a pillar. Also, something to understand in this, is that "some" white womyn did not include black's or minorities . MANY DID. Gloria Steinem, a HUGE leader in the feminist movement Gloria was along side Flo Kennedy and Shirley Chisolm and brought Wilma Mankiller in to her Ms. Magazine crew to bring inclusion of ALL womyn. That the PRESS did not and continues to not write about this, is political. Continuing this misperception is harmful to our solidarity. Something Gloria Steinem worked to talking about through her years as a leader in this. She even gives huge kudos to them helping her find her voice, as she was a writer. Two things and Three things can be true at the same time. Two things would be that yes, SOME white womyn did not include black womyn or minorities...and MANY DID. And some black womyn did not want to work with white womyn. Many black womyn talked about struggling to stand up for womyn's rights, as they were seen as traitors to the black men in their community. ADD misogyny to this whole thing, which IS a huge part of patriarchy...programming womyn to hate each other, blame womyn, be competitive with each other (divide and conquer) and you have this mess. It is NOT as cut and dry as is being presented. I have a lot of compassion around all this because, this system of patriarchy is wired to light a fire under all this. Thanks for calling it out, AND we need to reach to see that this was not wide spread.

i just want to send this to every woman in my life

Thank you for your analysis and for the graphics!

You are such a QUEEN

A lot of what's happening right now reminds me (in small ways) of the study of the civil rights movement during Jim Crow era. I know its a stretch but part of the process was peaceful noncompliance, i.e.the bus boycott (decentering men), protesting for racial equality (protesting for reproductive rights), even as deep as deconstructing internalized racism as a person of color (women having to deconstruct internalized misogyny). The idea during the civil rights movement was that giving a person of color equal rights and equal opportunity does not take away another persons power or rights. It's the same with what is happening to women. Im just glad that im living during a time when we are having open conversations about deep and challenging subjects. We all need to work together to create a new/better world for future generations. Great video and very thought provoking.

Oh yay!! Been waiting for this one!🎉

💯thank you for saying what everyone needs to hear 💯🙏🏽💚

When I realized my X wouldn’t even plan a camping trip after I helped him with his life goals, I left. How do you feel about taking revenge?

Love the charts: patriarchy/matriarchy.So true!

I would challenge that it's feminism that has progressed women's rights and suggest that it's female nature to self-actualize, not a willingness to join a movement

This was a great video series, thank you so much! from the additions to this part... I think in some ways this part is idealistic women outside feminist circles tend to spend a lot of time criticizing their acquaintances, or celebrities, influencers... without realizing what benefit it will bring them, except for the ability to judge other people and better understand human behavior. men are less likely to criticize each other, their social circles focus on learning to exploit others, men are more likely to see benefits in communication I think you've seen studies about the differences in male and female friendships. female friendships are more personal, more emotionally intense, but tend to fall apart due to personal hostility. male friendships tend to focus on spending time together, with little emotional depth but more room for collaboration this tells us that women tend to view relationships more personally and the task of feminism is to extinguish intra-female competition and create the ethics and benefits of cooperation + how to deal with men's exploitative dark triad tendencies

I’ve been waiting for this one ✨💃🏽

Loved this series.

thank you, your work is so valuable

I BE SO EXCITED TO SEE YOUR NEW POSTS❤😂

Betty Broderick (not advocating what she did) BUT, she is an extreme example of centering HER husband, thinking there is a benefit, instead of centering herself. An extreme example of NOT getting a payoff or reciprocity from her husband, in putting HIM first. It’s not hard to see that she thought Investing in HIS success would benefit their family. It did not. Google her name. A cautionary tale for being “selfless” at your own expense…

Great subject!! I’m interested. Thank you.

Birthstrike!

The racism conversation is amazing. It feels very very very high level & I wish there could be more clear examples. In addition to philosophy of the issue (& I so appreciate the way you explained this), more specifics that include today’s issues would be hugely helpful. Taylor Swift & celebrity culture doesn’t feel relatable to how white women can best help other marginalized women & mothers. What exactly are the issues that women of color/minority groups need addressed first? If we can talk directly about examples of the issues today that need to be addressed by feminism (that white women might not see) - that will be a very productive conversation. I am a white mother of three, 50 years old. If the most important fringe issue that must be addressed first is making sure Swahili women have access to goats, I will start collecting goats tomorrow to walk over there. We have real work to do, the entire society is collapsing (which I think is great) I think it would be so cool talk specifics of what the issues in question are to bring this point home in the most productive way. It’s not just rights we are fighting for this time, it’s an entirely different world & I definitely want to understand directly & clearly how we ensure no woman is left behind. Like basically who’s wt a$$ do I gotta kick for that Swahili woman to get those goats cause unlike Taylor, I’m on it. 😂

Awesome!!! I was waiting for this!! Perfect timing 💯❤️👍🏾

The conversation you pointed out between Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift had these words back and forth, points out something important, for sure, THAT womyn can NOW speak up. Call out what THEY BOTH SEE and feel and believe and check it out. This IS a HUGE step out of patriarchy for womyn. THEY can't know the perfect way to say things. And when you study Brene Brown's work, a famous researcher on the "rumble", a way OUT of oppressive speech, this IS so deeply important to do, which is what Nicki and Taylor are doing and learning as they go. I am not sure what is going on with this 'filter' being used , that has made this leap to being patriarchal. Taking ONE side and not seeing the communication happening, and all that is being brought to the surface to be revealed, is missing the mark and just pitting womyn against each other. ugh. We can't fix the master's house with the master's tools. Using patriarchy language and filters, that I am seeing here in this video ( that I did not see in the other 3 videos) , will NOT help us shift out. I suppose you can't even see how your choice of framing and wording IS pitting these womyn against each other...our programmed EGO's are a huge challenge in shifting out. We are only human. Doing the best we can. It strikes me though, that things could be worded in a way that do NOT pit womyn against each other , here. Yet, language is just being learned, and framing is just being learned, as we move through this next wave of feminism towards equality.

Could you do more of the flat circle of patriarchy?

My fault is definitely a lack mindset. I'm gonna watch that.

I think what you are attempting to say is that it's not so much about WW being on top of patriarchy without men, but WW being on top of the caste system created through colorism where whyte is superior to all other races. As least that is how I am hearing you!

Great video, I’m excited to share it with the young ladies at my work.

Sweetie, patriarchy is in every system, it just depends on what the men in each society allow. some societies are evil and some good, again this falls on the shoulders of the men and the laws they enforce and agree to. Every system is hierarchical in nature. At some point there has to be an authority structure. It's foolish to deny what is literally in front of our faces.

This needs to be a college course for real!

I love yoy

Yup, I needed to hear this, thank you

Loved the series. Thank you.

Taylor Swift wrote the Song the MAN to showcase the patriarchy, not for HER to do this. Interesting that you do not see this. She also invites multicultural AND different sizes of dancer. This does help solve really important aspects of patriarchy. THAT she is at the top allows her to bring in ALL people. She is not at the TOP as you are claiming that she is. You are looking at HER through the lens of patriarchy and NOT seeing what she is breaking down. I am not sure why you are not seeing this. Hmm?? I know there is a lot of hate out there, misogyny , against her, of course. Maybe this is clouding the judgment here and not seeing how she is breaking down huge barriers many womyn could not. THAT she brings so many IN WITH HER, are facts being missed here, and things the patriarchy would NOT do. THAT she invites people to sing together, not silence them to listen to the KING, is something that is NOT patriarchal. So many examples missed here. hmm.

Ope part 4 not 3

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Im actually confused at what you are talking about when you talk about the top. You can have diversity at the top jobs in the country. The jobs with the most power and or the most income BUT the vast majority of us no matter what shade our skin is are going to be working basic jobs just making it. I work a basic job and Im making it. Not far above the poverty line like my mother, and her mother and her mother all yte and deep in or barely above the poverty line. Im not trying to crawl up above any other women. Im just happy to not have to pair with a man. Im free to be singie even at my low income. I get to live in peace and not serve a man if I dont want to and i want that for every woman on earth. To be safe free and able to sustain without a man if she desires.

I have so many friends with a partner described in this post. Some left and others stay in the abusive relationship.

Despite being "white passing", this video explains so well my beef with what I now know is also called "liberal feminism" or "girlboss feminism". I don't want to be a girlboss (also I am non binary aligned so...), I don't think the solution is more women CEOs but to change the whole system.

I love your content but I love it for the carefully selected facts. Now when you say men and women have different reward systems in their brains, its just a lie. We font center men out of the goodness of our hearts. Its actually a patriarchal lie. We are just as healthily selfish, as men, but the game for us, women, is set up differently. Directly centering ourselves will be met with disdain, that is why we are forced to reach through a man - and pretend its for his benefit from our good womanly nature. Instead of being allowed to be direct. To find and build our own fortune, instead of becoming a coach and mother to a man who can directly participate for a fortune.

New sub here. Great series! Idk if there is research about a couple of topics that interest me. We see how the patriarchy hurts men to the point that they are "failing and flaling", and withdrawing from life. There's the male loneliness issue. The older generations are too far gone. 1)What can we do/ be done to help Zoomer/ Generation Alpha boys and men to become emotionally intelligent AND fully participate in household duties? I saw a video about an author, Richard Reeves, who had an interesting take of one way men could move forward. He used the term H.E.A.L.( health, education, administration, and literacy). It includes stereotypical female dominant jobs( teaching, nursing, caregiving). He said that decades ago, there was such a big push for girls to go into S.T.E.M. fields, and now there are more. The problem is H.E .A.L. jobs pay less because mostly women work in them. The pay would have to increase though. 2) What do you think of encouraging men and boys to explore H.E.A.L. jobs? Do you think it could help to weaken the patriarchy? 🙂

😘😘😘👏🏽

Love that top on you 💕

💯🎯🙌🏻

there's a question mark sound at the end of each sentence

👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

I get what you are trying to say but it’s coming from a USA centric outlook. I live as a expat in a country where I am the minority as a white woman and I can say that the women in this country are ok with leaving me behind in their movement because it’s always about the majority it’s not about black white asian etc … who is the majority … so yes what you say is right for the US but globally it does not apply, you have to look at who is the majority. in fact expat women in this country have been abused severely by the men in this country and the women in this country turn a blind eye because we are not considered citizens and we are considered second class - being white or any other color because we are the minority and therefore not important. This happens in all countries.

How do we opt out? When do we strike?

I want everyone to have merit not the patriarchy , but it always benefits men only , so WW , we have had enough but it is merit not color or ethnic or sex! MERIT ONLY !

🧡 🧡 🧡 🧡 🧡 🧡

No need for a studio ! If you want to invest in anything for your bg, get a light projector or video prohector foe mood lighting.

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I am sorry but all the conversations about tik tok trad wives are not at all intersectional. A lot of women stay home because they have disabling medical conditions and they are all too ashamed to make tik toks about it and often times the critiques of women who stay at home are just cruel because they are criticizing a fantasy and the real people are hurt by it. All of that is rooted in the ableism of believing disabled people aren't possibly capable of finding a partner and being cared for. This was a great video but I always have to say this whenever it comes up because the discourse is always horrendous.

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@2 min...has flashbacks of swerfs blaming sex workers for how they adapt under patriarchy.

WW know the patriarchy does not benefit any Woman. The blame game does not help the matriarchy at all. Only the patriarchy must really be behind this message as the division just continues. It seens as the Feminist movement was made by those who have hid behind WW but of another race. .

We can easily make you compliant, whether you accept it or not.

32:37 is where I'm going to raise an eyebrow here

Patriarchy is when inheritance is passed down from father to eldest son. That hasn’t been true in thousands of years. Inheritance, the family fortune, tends to be passed down to a surviving wife. What’s the point of saying ‘patriarchy’ 10 times every minute? I’ll guess, it’s basically meant to be a slur word. it just a way to allow yourself to be a not-see? Or is being just a Nazi not enough for some? If you really want to fight this ‘patriarchy’ choose as a partner a man shorter, smaller, and weaker than you. Challenging gender roles, and efforts to reduce spousal abuse against women, must be a priority. Oh yeah, marry a man who earns less money than you and one who is younger than you. Nothing’s more important than challenging this patriarchy, except challenging gender roles, and efforts to reduce spousal abuse against women. Don’t allow yourself to be a victim of patriarchy a minute longer.

I’m surprised that you didn’t mention trans women at all. It appears to be a blind spot

Good talk to go with my coffee 😊 I can bop to Taylor's music, but you really nailed why I don't fully love her. Just look at who she is dating... the baby boy of the NFL. I guess she got tired of the tortured poet types. 😉 Also, this is why I gave up on the dream of climbing the corporate ladder. It's full of complacent women and power tripping m ales. I work from home, because offices are breeding grounds for h arrassment, and no one does anything about it. Thanks for this thought-provoking discussion!! 💜